Slow Motion

I watch a fair amount of Law & Order - any and all of the various franchises of the series.  Taped on our DISH Hopper, available to me 24/7.  

Things always wrap up so easily on the show, right?  In an hour, there's a crime, a suspect identified, prosecution and sentencing.  Makes it all seem so simple.  

Filing a missing person report has felt overwhelming in dozens of ways.  Three weeks ago this morning is the last contact we've had with H. .  His phone has not been used since August 31st.  

J. and I have done a fair amount of 'round and round' talking about things - trying to decide what to do.  We were hesitant to file the report at first because what does that say?  Are we saying we want him found because we will find him help - stepping/continuing on the roller coaster we've been on with him for more than a decade?  Um, no.  That's not happening.  We aren't looking to find him to ride in on a white horse and 'save him'.  So what are we really saying if we file?  

This morning, J. contacted the Harris County Sheriff Department and within an hour of J.'s initial call, a detective phoned to get more info.  We provided H.'s information - last known addresses, people he might hang out with (we don't know many of them).  He checked to see if H. was in custody - I didn't mention that I've been doing that weekly or more than once a week for a few months.  He isn't in jail.  Never been arrested.   Had a traffic stop some months back (when he had the car) but no idea if he was cited or what the offense was.  (Privacy laws apply to all sorts of situations, I guess).  

In the end, H. doesn't qualify as a missing person at this point.  He's an adult and has no developmental disabilities or autism that would put him in a higher risk category.  Unfortunately, it appears he is homeless, has been for some time and if in active drug use (which we are sure he is), is likely staying on the streets. 

The detective asked if we had people there who could keep an eye out for him - but we really know so few people in his circle so that seems unlikely. 

He's sort of 'in the system' in that if he is arrested or picked up, there will be notes about the conversation we had with the detective...so that's something.  

We face what we're most worried about:  we may never see or hear from him again.  We may never know if he's alive or if he died.  That's a really hard thing to grapple with and there are moments when we have those thoughts that we just feel so overwhelmingly sad.  

We stand together and move through the fear and keep going.  There's nothing else we can do.  Just keep going.  

Enjoyed a fantastic evening at Atlantis in Reno last night - a winery dinner.  4 courses each served with a different wine.  Fantastic food and we were at such a fun table - lively conversation and the evening flew by.  AND six bottles of wine as a gift at the end of the dinner.  We played a bit before and a bit after and had a blast - and I hit a Dragonlink Major for the first time since June.  

I also played at Gold West in Carson yesterday and had the MOST extraordinary luck there, too - came home way up which gave me the funds to really have a blast at Atlantis.  I got on a machine that was just super duper HOT and hit bonus after bonus.  Started betting higher and it kept hitting, still!  It was an awesome day and the lovely time with J. at Atlantis was the perfect way to cap off a greatly fun slot play day.  

J. has golf Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday, we are hosting our soon to be new neighbors as they come visit their homesite.  The grading of the lot was started - but no foundation forms have been laid yet.  Thursday will be Atlantis free play day and we will go back next Saturday night for a 'Night in Tuscany' dinner.  We're trying to take advantage of all the opportunities we have for amazing events at Atlantis and it's been really fun lately. 

In other news, my closet reorganization has revealed I may actually have a problem....boy, do I have a LOT of Dooney & Bourke purses.  I'm really thinking of putting some up for sale on Poshmark or Mercari or some other site.  

The Amazon van just pulled up and likely delivered two more 'closet chests'.  I'm pretty close to conquering the conundrum of my closet space and I've made so much progress!  Feels exciting to have watched it morph and change the past month or so and I'm making sense of it all.  Next room to tackle reorganizing is the hobby room - which is really mostly becoming where we put stuff we are undecided about.  There's a lot of undecided.  

I keep watching B.'s Facebook messenger for a 'green dot' or a 'last online' time.  He's still in dark mode doing maneuvers and training at Ft. Polk in Louisiana and we're not exactly sure when his dark mode ends.