Continued Unraveling

Yesterday was horribly hard.  I was barely functioning through the morning - my head still reeling from the theft realization and feeling sad and overwhelmed about everything.

Apparently, H. was too, because he went for an 'emergency' counseling session in Manteca.  Texted J. to tell him.  I feel for H. because I'm sure he's getting a huge amount of pressure.  To believe that we are the worst parents in the world for asking them to leave.  Trying to convince him to keep the funds he owes us since we are making them 'homeless'.  I get all those things - but the reasons we are asking them to leave seem to get lost in the mix.  It's the continued pattern we've experienced - a lack of any kind of personal accountability and taking responsibility for your actions.  (Or in this case mostly taking responsibility for your complete and total FAILURE TO ACT).  As in act with care and consideration for the two people who have been sheltering you for months, gratis.

H. hasn't spoken to me in days - including not a word on Mother's Day.  He did send me a text (which was a reply to my text to him) but then didn't reply to my reply. 

I don't know about you, but no matter how upset I might have ever been with my mom, I would never ignore Mother's Day. 

This was not the best Mom's day weekend I've had and it sure carried over into Monday. 

I feel better this morning.  More confident about the decision even though the implementation is still a fricking mess and there's no end in sight to the drama enveloping us.  But oh well.  I am going to hit the ground running on the work front today so I can keep getting things done and move forward on my work goals which has a positive affect on me, in general.

We have let H. know that we love him unconditionally and that is forever and non-contingent on anything happening around here.  However, we are not letting his upset and sadness convince us to keep trying, which is what he wants.  J. mentioned to him 'and we're going to need R. to go with me to storage so we can put the unit in her name' and H. said 'so when she can't pay the bill, we'll be homeless and lose all our stuff'?  Hard reality - but when the solution is 'so your parents should keep paying $3K plus a year to store all her/your stuff?  Really'?  No.  That ship has sailed.

R. hasn't shown up face to face in days - she may be sleeping here a few hours a night but mostly, she appears to be gone.  We don't actually know if H. is home or gone at the moment but J. will figure that out shortly.

It's still a drama filled day but I can handle it.