Work Eve

Vacation is officially over.  It's now 5:20PM and it's officially a 'work-eve'.  Time to figure out what to wear; pack snacks and lunch; steel myself for a day of constant catching up.  My boss has done a stellar job of keeping me looped in on very little with frequent promises of 'we can touch base on this when you get back'.  Long list of stuff.  So the day looms large.

There are people in my life I care about very much going through some health things right now (shout out to my cousin D. in OKC and my cousin S. in PHX) that have my mind reeling. Thinking good thoughts and sending powerful prayers, cyber hugs and anything else I can think of as they navigate health stuff that is hard to deal with.  They are strong, amazing women and I have no doubt it will all work out.  All will be as it should.  Let go and let God....and trust that He's got it all covered.  Every worry.  Every fear.  Good and bad; hard and easy.  He's got it all worked out.  It's not 'perfect' 'cuz in times of stress and worry, it's hard to remember that - but I believe it and when embracing that, you just have to trust.....'cuz worrying won't change anything.  Let the health care workers take care of the big stuff....and just rest and chill as much as you can while it's all figured out.  Love you both more than I can say - truly.  You two mean the world to me.  Two amazing blessings.....

I'm singing 'Let it Go' in my head....thinking about worry.  How it's draining.  Exhausting.  I worried a lot on our vacation - worried.  Always worried.  Next to envy and jealousy, worry is a(nother) wasted emotion - 'cuz you can't control what you can't control.  Still, worry is a part of the process of any health stuff - it's normal to worry.  Just try to 'let it go'.  [I don't mean to be 'preachy'....really.  I don't.  I just know that all the worrying in the world isn't going to change 'what is'....and whatever 'is' will be dealt with one thing at a time.]

I sure love you both and wish I could be in three places at once.

(S., skip this part.  D., you too....).  I need to write what's below but don't want you to be upset reading it.....

At breakfast in Rome, J. read an email from our church about '[insert name here]'s memorial service is March 22nd.  I almost choked.  I said '[repeated name'}?  My friend [insert name]? She died?  And she had.  She was the friend I wrote about a few years back after seeing her in church unexpectedly and she was there with her new husband.  I don't know what happened. I hadn't been in touch with her much - we had coffee a couple times.  She and her husband divorced.  She got a job and was busy - we weren't close friends.  But still.  We were awhile back - in our corporate days, we were very close.  It stunned me - still does.  She is survived by her two children.  She was 47.  (You can read about our reconnecting here.)

And yesterday, someone who reported to me up until her retirement at the end of November died.  She fought a brave fight with breast cancer that turned to liver cancer.  And she died. She was an amazing person, full of fight.  When she was diagnosed, she went through chemo and radiation while continuing to work.  She said 'I don't want to stay home and worry.  I want to keep on working and keep busy.  I love my job'.  She was amazing.  One day, it was pretty obvious that she couldn't keep working....and she retired shortly after.  I knew things weren't going great.  But you always hope.  It is sad for her family - so hard on them to lose their wife and their mom.  And hard on her department - a wonderful group of dear people who are all sad while they serve meals to the students that are the reason we are all working our hearts out.

It's a constant reminder in life that we are fragile.  We should all be labeled "Handle with Care"....handle with extreme care.

And the person we need to remind of this most is ourselves.