Empty and Beautiful

These are perfume bottles.

They are empty.

Four recently finished perfume bottles of four of my favorite scents. I know it's hard to have multiple favorite scents - but I do.

They are clutter.

Unnecessary.

And I cannot bring myself to part with them.

My mother collected bottles. All shapes, all sizes, all types. Avon perfume bottles were a favorite. As were old pharmaceutical bottles; old liquor bottles; old soda bottles, etc. Bottles covered every open inch of our home - and when she ran out of room inside, she put them outside. She loved them. And over time, I came to love them, too.

She always said I should take the bottles when she died - but in truth, we lived in a condo and had absolutely nowhere to put them. And back then, I didn't want them. Thought them silly and superfluous. And also considering I had two young boys running around, a hazard of ginormous proportion. So I did not take them. As far as I know, they are still in storage in Arizona somewhere. I think about them occasionally and today is one of those days. My home is full of 'ledges' that would be perfect for the bottles. I still don't really think I want them - but these four empty perfume bottles have me consumed with thinking about the collection of bottles....boxed up somewhere.....

Today would have been my mom's 85th birthday. She lived to be 75 - and 10 years ago this weekend, we were celebrating her 75th birthday with a ginormous surprise birthday party. It was fun and crazy and hectic and she loved every minute of it. All of her kids in one place for the first time since my wedding 10 years earlier. Her surviving siblings from out of state plus cousins and friends and family. It was a great time. She died six months later. So we're approaching the 10th anniversary of her death - and I can't believe that. I can't believe it's been a decade without her. It feels like yesterday....but it isn't. It was ten years ago. My sons are young men now - not little boys....

So I keep trying to toss these bottles into the recycling bin, but I really can't do it. I've tried - but I go retrieve them before they go to the outside bins.

I keep them because they are beautiful. And because she would appreciate how pretty they are. She would never get rid of them - she'd find a place to keep them and look at them and enjoy them.

And in honor of her 85th birthday, I'm starting my own little bottle collection. I won't scour flea markets or antique stores for them; I won't go to estate sales or cruise the internet for them. But when I have a pretty bottle that is beautiful to look at, I'm keeping it. These four are going on a shelf in my bedroom - I will see them everyday and think of her - I think of her everyday anyway but now, I'll have something 'tangible' to remember her with.

She will be glad I didn't toss them. And she'll keep me on the look out for them - trying new scents I wouldn't normally try because the bottle is pretty. She would appreciate that.

Happy Birthday, Mom. I miss you. We all miss you.