Legacy

I attended a memorial service this afternoon for my friend Pam's dad. Never an easy thing to witness a family's grief and sadness over the loss of their beloved patriarch. But I have been there for Pam through a lot of her life's sadnesses and wanted to be there for her today. So I took a day off (personal) and trekked to Elk Grove.

I sort of dreaded it. Not that I considered not going - 'cuz I knew I would go. But I dreaded how memorial services or funerals always bring up all the grief ever felt at your own personal losses. And there was that - as soon as I walked in and saw the flowers and received the 'program' and signed the guest book, the grief of my own losses started to well up. Lump in the throat; tears in the eyes.

And then we started. And I witnessed an entire family involved in memorializing their dad, grandpa, uncle. The ENTIRE family. One son presided over the service - he is attending seminary and will soon be a pastor. Another son sang during the services - beautifully and fittingly - the songs a reflection of the sadness but also the joy. Another son spoke in a tribute to his dad. Pam and her son and nephew read scriptures. And the family became united in their grief but more importantly, united in their faith. Their faith that has seen them through more losses than most families ever go through. Pam has lost a brother. She lost her first husband to illness and her second husband to a motorcycle accident. And now her dad. I can't imagine how she manages - but she does. And she does it all while 'being there' for everyone in her family and her friends. She is an amazing person and I am blessed to know her. And her family - who, as was commented on during the services 'sort of suck you in'. The Lawrences are like that - united in faith and family and so steadfast in their support and love and respect for each other. It has in the past inspired me and made me awed - and it did so again today. The service was joy-full and a true celebration and that's exactly how Ronnie would have wanted it. A celebration of his life. And celebrating the joy in his death because he is in heaven now - and they know they will see him again. They will miss him and would rather he be here with them on earth - but they take comfort - real, honest, deeply felt comfort - in knowing that they will see him again and that he's 'having a great time'. And I'm sure he is. He raised some amazing kids and shared 51 years of happy marriage with his beloved wife Jean.

In memory - Ronnie C. Lawrence 1934-2006