I am trying to learn to see food as fuel for my body. Not reward, not comfort. Fuel. Thinking that way is helping me to make healthier choices. And that's a good thing. The problem is, though, that my body wants 20 gallons of fuel everyday and only needs 15 to run efficiently. Trying to get it to 'accept' the 15 gallons is challenging at the moment - I am constantly hungry. Stomach growling, achy hungry. I'm having frequent snacks - high protein, low carb. But I'm STARVING. It's 10:30 and lunch is still an hour+ away. I've eaten my breakfast, my morning snack and I'm famished.
Hopefully, another week of this will calm down the hungry growlies. I sure hope so. I so want to head up to the cafeteria or down to Starbucks for something cake-like, carb loaded and sugar laden - and I don't WANT TO DO THAT 'CUZ MY BODY DOESN'T RUN WELL ON JUNK.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Politics
J. commented 'wow, honey, you're getting pretty political'. My one comment on which party to vote for has raised my blog to one with political currents. It's most definitely NOT a political blog...but the subject is worth discussing.
I was born and raised in Arizona and for the most part, if you are born and raised in Arizona, you are a Republican. I was a Republican for most of my early voting years. I was a Republican because my parents were, and there parents before them, and so on. I didn't think about any of the issues - I just voted Republican because 'that's what I am'.
I married a Democrat and for the first few years of our marriage, our votes pretty much cancelled each others out. He would vote staunchly Democrat and I would vote staunchly Republican. I offered no rationale for my voting record besides 'I am a Republican'.
I have referred to 'finding my voice' in this blog. I was silent a lot during my childhood and even into adulthood. It is amazing to me to know myself now and realize how so incredibly different I am from where I was awhile back. I speak a lot now - meaning I say what I mean and mean what I say. Anyone who knows me now would never imagine in a zillion years that I was once so painfully shy and insecure that I was practically incapable of communication on any level. How I survived college and wound up managing people in my 20's is beyond my comprehension - but I did. And now, having found my voice, I'm frequently and often expressing my thoughts and opinions on a variety of subjects. Just ask my boss or J. or the people and friends who communicate with me daily.
So, somewhere along the way to finding my voice, I actually started thinking about the stands taken by our government. And I realized, somewhat shockingly and rather 'late' (in my opinion, now, looking back) that there isn't a single, blooming thing about me that is a Republican. I am not in any way conservative. Yes, I believe in God and have a lot of faith. But I don't think our government should enter into deciding what choices a woman has. I also believe VERY strongly that a person can and should love whomever they choose and that two people's decision to declare their love for each other and have it be a legally recognized union is something that every person should be able to do, regardless of the gender they have fallen in love with. So little by little, it became very clear to me that I AM A DEMOCRAT. I probably always have been - but expressing opinions contrary to those I was raised with was not something I was good at for a long time.
And then came George W. Bush. He is incompetent - there are stronger terms I could choose, but that sums it up. I don't think he is malicious in his decisions. He obviously believes what he believes very strongly and is in a position to act on those beliefs. Unfortunately, the rest of us have to go along for his ride, whether we want to or not. Somedays, it is all I can do to not hurl something breakable at the TV screen. Every time the man opens his mouth, I cringe. This whole war debacle is just so incredibly ridiculous. How in the world the people of America EVER believed we were doing this for any rational reason is beyond my comprehension. We shouldn't be there. We have no business being there. The 'war on terror' is a joke, people. Wake up. Yes, 9/11 was a tragedy and it is a terrible thing that there are zealots in the world that hate Americans so much, they would plan and execute such a horrible attack on a country. But our invasion of a country doesn't solve those issues. Extremists have existed throughout time and will always exist - and us invading a country and taking over just to show we can doesn't and won't stop those people from trying to hurt us.
My children and their children and quite possibly their children's children will be paying for this war. That's a long time to pay for something 'just because'. I have lost complete faith in our government. Never in my life has it been more clear to me that it IS all about the party you align yourself with. How any rational person can look at what we are doing and look at what the consequences are to what we are doing - and most importantly UNDERSTAND that the reasons given for going to war were FALSE, LIES, CRAP - and still stand behind this administration is just unfathomable to me.
Wake up, America. The only saving factor is that there is absolutely NO WAY there will be 4 more years of George W. Bush in the White House. That is something to celebrate. Now vote your conscience - not your party - understand the issues and act on them.
I was born and raised in Arizona and for the most part, if you are born and raised in Arizona, you are a Republican. I was a Republican for most of my early voting years. I was a Republican because my parents were, and there parents before them, and so on. I didn't think about any of the issues - I just voted Republican because 'that's what I am'.
I married a Democrat and for the first few years of our marriage, our votes pretty much cancelled each others out. He would vote staunchly Democrat and I would vote staunchly Republican. I offered no rationale for my voting record besides 'I am a Republican'.
I have referred to 'finding my voice' in this blog. I was silent a lot during my childhood and even into adulthood. It is amazing to me to know myself now and realize how so incredibly different I am from where I was awhile back. I speak a lot now - meaning I say what I mean and mean what I say. Anyone who knows me now would never imagine in a zillion years that I was once so painfully shy and insecure that I was practically incapable of communication on any level. How I survived college and wound up managing people in my 20's is beyond my comprehension - but I did. And now, having found my voice, I'm frequently and often expressing my thoughts and opinions on a variety of subjects. Just ask my boss or J. or the people and friends who communicate with me daily.
So, somewhere along the way to finding my voice, I actually started thinking about the stands taken by our government. And I realized, somewhat shockingly and rather 'late' (in my opinion, now, looking back) that there isn't a single, blooming thing about me that is a Republican. I am not in any way conservative. Yes, I believe in God and have a lot of faith. But I don't think our government should enter into deciding what choices a woman has. I also believe VERY strongly that a person can and should love whomever they choose and that two people's decision to declare their love for each other and have it be a legally recognized union is something that every person should be able to do, regardless of the gender they have fallen in love with. So little by little, it became very clear to me that I AM A DEMOCRAT. I probably always have been - but expressing opinions contrary to those I was raised with was not something I was good at for a long time.
And then came George W. Bush. He is incompetent - there are stronger terms I could choose, but that sums it up. I don't think he is malicious in his decisions. He obviously believes what he believes very strongly and is in a position to act on those beliefs. Unfortunately, the rest of us have to go along for his ride, whether we want to or not. Somedays, it is all I can do to not hurl something breakable at the TV screen. Every time the man opens his mouth, I cringe. This whole war debacle is just so incredibly ridiculous. How in the world the people of America EVER believed we were doing this for any rational reason is beyond my comprehension. We shouldn't be there. We have no business being there. The 'war on terror' is a joke, people. Wake up. Yes, 9/11 was a tragedy and it is a terrible thing that there are zealots in the world that hate Americans so much, they would plan and execute such a horrible attack on a country. But our invasion of a country doesn't solve those issues. Extremists have existed throughout time and will always exist - and us invading a country and taking over just to show we can doesn't and won't stop those people from trying to hurt us.
My children and their children and quite possibly their children's children will be paying for this war. That's a long time to pay for something 'just because'. I have lost complete faith in our government. Never in my life has it been more clear to me that it IS all about the party you align yourself with. How any rational person can look at what we are doing and look at what the consequences are to what we are doing - and most importantly UNDERSTAND that the reasons given for going to war were FALSE, LIES, CRAP - and still stand behind this administration is just unfathomable to me.
Wake up, America. The only saving factor is that there is absolutely NO WAY there will be 4 more years of George W. Bush in the White House. That is something to celebrate. Now vote your conscience - not your party - understand the issues and act on them.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Home
Hawaii is a mere memory. I am entrenched in 'year-end' activities at work (our fiscal year ends June 30th) and buried. Typical June/July.
Everything about this job is a 'cycle'. One budget cycle blends into the next. The year-end activities are becoming 'routine' for me - no more fun or 'easier' than in past years but I know the drill now. It's just a matter of wedging in the time to get everything done. And trying to stomp down the frustration that grows as I wait (and wait) for other people to do what they need to do so I can do what I need to do to wrap up the year.
August will bring the 'new' school year and the blur of activities for my school (where I work) and the kids schools. The school year seems to start earlier and earlier for the boys. Summers fly by - only 10 weeks 'off' for them, which goes by so quickly.
B. leaves for Europe this Thursday and H. leaves for snowboard camp on Friday. J. and I will be enjoying TEN GLORIOUS DAYS ALONE - a small, brief glimpse into what retirement will be like. I can hardly wait. We can shop at Albertson's for groceries instead of Costco. Feeding just the two of us will be a breeze, as will laundry, keeping the house tidy, etc. We are really looking forward to the time 'alone', though neither of us is taking any time off work. But evenings and a couple kid-less weekends will be tremendously fun and rejuvenating. We can be really noisy during [you know what]. THAT will be fun!
OK, gotta run. More later. Happy 4th, everyone! God Bless America - and vote Democrat.
Everything about this job is a 'cycle'. One budget cycle blends into the next. The year-end activities are becoming 'routine' for me - no more fun or 'easier' than in past years but I know the drill now. It's just a matter of wedging in the time to get everything done. And trying to stomp down the frustration that grows as I wait (and wait) for other people to do what they need to do so I can do what I need to do to wrap up the year.
August will bring the 'new' school year and the blur of activities for my school (where I work) and the kids schools. The school year seems to start earlier and earlier for the boys. Summers fly by - only 10 weeks 'off' for them, which goes by so quickly.
B. leaves for Europe this Thursday and H. leaves for snowboard camp on Friday. J. and I will be enjoying TEN GLORIOUS DAYS ALONE - a small, brief glimpse into what retirement will be like. I can hardly wait. We can shop at Albertson's for groceries instead of Costco. Feeding just the two of us will be a breeze, as will laundry, keeping the house tidy, etc. We are really looking forward to the time 'alone', though neither of us is taking any time off work. But evenings and a couple kid-less weekends will be tremendously fun and rejuvenating. We can be really noisy during [you know what]. THAT will be fun!
OK, gotta run. More later. Happy 4th, everyone! God Bless America - and vote Democrat.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Surf
The boys learned to surf on this Hawaii trip. We have lots of pictures taken by a photographer who was on a board, on the water, following them around during their lesson. The pictures are amazing - and so is the absolute joy and pride on their faces as they managed to stand up and ride a wave for the first time. The pictures are priceless and we are so glad to have them. They had a ball and are 'hooked'. B. is already planning to surf in Santa Cruz, etc. Of course, he doesn't realize that the 25 degree + water difference temperature will dampen his enthusiasm for California surfing - but for now, he wants to add surfing to his list of 'favorite' activities.
They also experienced scuba diving for the first time and loved it as well. Their amazement at the 'world' under the ocean was priceless and they were so excited about another new 'sport' to get into. J. and I enjoyed snorkeling almost as much as the boys enjoyed diving. Seeing fish in the ocean that you've only seen in pictures or salt water aquariums was amazing - and as J. promised, those beautiful fish are everywhere and easy to see with a snorkel and mask. The sailing/diving cruise we took for a day last Saturday was well worth the $$ - though the blistering sunburn I got has taken 3+ days to recover from. I emerged from my self-imposed confinement today and headed to the beach with the guys for some playing in the surf.
The waves today are between 4-6 feet. The water is so clear that you can see into the waves as they crest. The boys got sand in their pants, naturally. We stopped for Starbucks iced tea and Hawaiian shave ice before returning home for a quiet evening. Dinner plans are cheap chinese from the local mall shop. I am hoping to remain awake until at least 11PM when we will be within the 24 hour window to try to (please, oh please may we be able to) upgrade our flight to 'Economy Plus' for a bit of extra leg room. We are hoping/trying/praying we will sleep on the way home - so that extra leg room is a BIG difference when you're trying to sleep sitting up.
Hawaii has been wonderful - an amazing place to 'escape' to and enjoy the sand and sea and wind. I want to come back and even think that when we win the lottery, we might just retire here.
But I'll be glad to be home. And even returning to work on Monday will be OK - I sort of missed my friends there and the students that keep me young. But we'll be back. We're already planning B.'s senior trip and it will probably be here, though we'll probably do another island next time.
They also experienced scuba diving for the first time and loved it as well. Their amazement at the 'world' under the ocean was priceless and they were so excited about another new 'sport' to get into. J. and I enjoyed snorkeling almost as much as the boys enjoyed diving. Seeing fish in the ocean that you've only seen in pictures or salt water aquariums was amazing - and as J. promised, those beautiful fish are everywhere and easy to see with a snorkel and mask. The sailing/diving cruise we took for a day last Saturday was well worth the $$ - though the blistering sunburn I got has taken 3+ days to recover from. I emerged from my self-imposed confinement today and headed to the beach with the guys for some playing in the surf.
The waves today are between 4-6 feet. The water is so clear that you can see into the waves as they crest. The boys got sand in their pants, naturally. We stopped for Starbucks iced tea and Hawaiian shave ice before returning home for a quiet evening. Dinner plans are cheap chinese from the local mall shop. I am hoping to remain awake until at least 11PM when we will be within the 24 hour window to try to (please, oh please may we be able to) upgrade our flight to 'Economy Plus' for a bit of extra leg room. We are hoping/trying/praying we will sleep on the way home - so that extra leg room is a BIG difference when you're trying to sleep sitting up.
Hawaii has been wonderful - an amazing place to 'escape' to and enjoy the sand and sea and wind. I want to come back and even think that when we win the lottery, we might just retire here.
But I'll be glad to be home. And even returning to work on Monday will be OK - I sort of missed my friends there and the students that keep me young. But we'll be back. We're already planning B.'s senior trip and it will probably be here, though we'll probably do another island next time.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
About
Things I won't forget about Hawaii:
I have never seen such blue ocean water. NEVER. It is amazing. We sailed for a couple of hours yesterday and the water was the most amazing shade of deep, deep blue. I've never seen anything like it - and I grew up spending a lot of time on the water in Mexico. The water there was all shades of green. Even out sailing, there wasn't much truly blue water around. But Hawaii is all blue, all the time. It's amazing.
Sunburn. I have one. Stupid, I know. We were snorkeling yesterday and in spite of carefully applying sun screen all day, I AM FRIED. So sore I can barely move. It will most definitely blister and peel - so that's surely something to look forward to next week.
Beach hair. Since my hair's always been short until the last couple years, this 'long hair blowing in the wind' thing is all new. And I'm sort of enjoying the 'beach hair' thing. It looks fantastic with salt water in it from swimming. I can get away with washing it every few days and NEVER have to 'style' it since wind blown and wavy suits it just fine. It's pretty cool...by 'short hair' standards, it looks terrible - but everyone here walks around with tousled, unkept hair - so I fit right in.
And everyone here wears beach clothes all the time. Since we've been here, I've worn the same basic outfit - swim suit and a 'shift like' coverup. Period. Brought a zillion other outfits that I haven't needed and probably won't. Will probably 'dress up' a bit (i.e. put on shorts and a top) if we go to a lua later this week - but for the most part, I could have left most of the clothes I brought at home and just used a carry on for luggage. Have to remember that for next time.
More to come -
I have never seen such blue ocean water. NEVER. It is amazing. We sailed for a couple of hours yesterday and the water was the most amazing shade of deep, deep blue. I've never seen anything like it - and I grew up spending a lot of time on the water in Mexico. The water there was all shades of green. Even out sailing, there wasn't much truly blue water around. But Hawaii is all blue, all the time. It's amazing.
Sunburn. I have one. Stupid, I know. We were snorkeling yesterday and in spite of carefully applying sun screen all day, I AM FRIED. So sore I can barely move. It will most definitely blister and peel - so that's surely something to look forward to next week.
Beach hair. Since my hair's always been short until the last couple years, this 'long hair blowing in the wind' thing is all new. And I'm sort of enjoying the 'beach hair' thing. It looks fantastic with salt water in it from swimming. I can get away with washing it every few days and NEVER have to 'style' it since wind blown and wavy suits it just fine. It's pretty cool...by 'short hair' standards, it looks terrible - but everyone here walks around with tousled, unkept hair - so I fit right in.
And everyone here wears beach clothes all the time. Since we've been here, I've worn the same basic outfit - swim suit and a 'shift like' coverup. Period. Brought a zillion other outfits that I haven't needed and probably won't. Will probably 'dress up' a bit (i.e. put on shorts and a top) if we go to a lua later this week - but for the most part, I could have left most of the clothes I brought at home and just used a carry on for luggage. Have to remember that for next time.
More to come -
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Aloha
1/2 gallon half and half for morning coffee: $5.99.
Burgers, fries & shakes for lunch at a local Maui hangout: $52
Watching your teenage sons make a sand castle together and having the photos to prove it: Priceless.
Burgers, fries & shakes for lunch at a local Maui hangout: $52
Watching your teenage sons make a sand castle together and having the photos to prove it: Priceless.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Travels
There's something about leaving for vacation that compels me to clean like a maniac. J. is chuckling as I scrub baseboards, cupboards, move rugs, etc. I can't help it. I have a friend coming over every few days to take care of the cats, bird & frog (dogs are going to a kennel) and while I know she probably won't even notice the state of my baseboards and even if she did notice dust, she wouldn't care - I still have to clean them. Partly 'cuz it will be so nice to come home to a clean(er) house and partly 'cuz if we tragically don't come back, the house will be presentable to the Wells Fargo trust employee who's responsibility it will be to take care of what needs to be taken care of.
We have a couple days before we leave for Maui and my mind is abuzz with list after list of what needs to be done before we leave. I am so exhausted at the mere thought(s) of all that needs to be done that when J. talks about getting up at 4AM to see a volcano crater ('we have to be there before sunrise; that's the whole point of going - it's a spiritual experience', I want to run from the dinner table. The boys chime in 'it's OK Mom, it'll be like 7AM here'. It will feel like 4AM regardless.
My sister K. and niece H. are in San Fran unexpectedly and we are meeting them for dinner tomorrow night. A fun way to celebrate my 46th birthday. YIKES. That sounds 'old' and the big FIVE OH is not too far ahead.
B. survived his freshman year. Finished yesterday. Received a citizenship award from the school district. H. received a citizenship award as well and improved his GPA by .7 in just one trimester. Amazing what insisting he CAN and WILL do stuff on his own can do. He studied on his own, kept track of his own assignments, etc. We were 'bystanders' for the first time EVER with H. and it sure felt good.
Aloha.
We have a couple days before we leave for Maui and my mind is abuzz with list after list of what needs to be done before we leave. I am so exhausted at the mere thought(s) of all that needs to be done that when J. talks about getting up at 4AM to see a volcano crater ('we have to be there before sunrise; that's the whole point of going - it's a spiritual experience', I want to run from the dinner table. The boys chime in 'it's OK Mom, it'll be like 7AM here'. It will feel like 4AM regardless.
My sister K. and niece H. are in San Fran unexpectedly and we are meeting them for dinner tomorrow night. A fun way to celebrate my 46th birthday. YIKES. That sounds 'old' and the big FIVE OH is not too far ahead.
B. survived his freshman year. Finished yesterday. Received a citizenship award from the school district. H. received a citizenship award as well and improved his GPA by .7 in just one trimester. Amazing what insisting he CAN and WILL do stuff on his own can do. He studied on his own, kept track of his own assignments, etc. We were 'bystanders' for the first time EVER with H. and it sure felt good.
Aloha.
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Our cleaning lady D. is here today - she wears earbuds and chats on the phone while she works. She is the third cleaning 'person(s)...
