Mondays II

It is Monday and I spent the day wanting to be anywhere but work. Mondays drag. I don't know why and haven't figured out how - but they do. D...R...A...G. I wanted to be home/go home/get home as soon as possible. Be anywhere but work. ANYWHERE. I accomplished things. But my heart wasn't in it. It was so hard to get out of bed this morning - the urge to hunker back down into the warm comforter, put a pillow over my head and go back to sleep was overwhelming. But I made myself get vertical and headed straight to the shower. Even curled my hair - which made it look like I was carefree and thrilled to be up early on a Monday vs. pulling it up and leaving it 'straight'. But nothing disguised my lack of enthusiasm for the 'working' part of my life. And EVERYONE at work felt the same way. Quietness pervaded the place. No one was cheery or happy. We were just there.

When I interviewed for this job, my soon-to-be boss and the college president worried that I would be bored. I was/am over qualified for the job and I think they worried that I would hate it and leave. I assured them that I keep busy and would look for opportunities or advise if I needed work - I'm not the kind of person to sit around doing nothing. But what I'm realizing is - I am bored. And it's not because there isn't plenty to do - there is. But it's the same stuff day after day after day. The same 'cycles' year after year. One budget phase rolls into another...and another. And I feel 'bored'. Some days fly by - but some days, like today, just crawl. And the crawling ones are the absolute worst. I hate clock watching. Hate wishing I was home to do stuff there instead of here to do what needs to be done here.

I hope I can 'snap out of it'. I don't like feeling this way. It makes a hard day so much harder to feel that overwhelming 'I don't want to be here'.

Hawaii in 4 months. I need a vacation. And I'm excited about Hawaii - but honestly, I'd love to just stay home for two weeks. I like being home. I love my house. I know Hawaii will be amazing and fun and we are all really looking forward to it - we've saved up mileage on our credit card for YEARS to be able to take this trip. And I really haven't had a 'real' vacation in a while. Used all my vacation time in the summer for the various medical procedures I had to have done. Had Christmas break 'off' but we were traveling - so I wasn't home. And I need some 'home time'. Down time. Haven't had any (besides weekends which are jammed full of activities and too short).

We have a 4 day weekend coming up and I'm thinking of turning it into a 5 day by adding a vacation day - so we'll see. The 4 days will certainly 'help' and thankfully, so far the calendar is clear. No plans. I hope it stays that way.