Friends

I don't have a lot of really close friends. Those that I do have are people I've met through various jobs I've had. My 'oldest' friend (in terms of length of relationship) is KQV. I met her at Mervyn's in Upland, CA where I worked during college. She was already living on her own, independent, a free spirit. She was aloof and stand-off-ish at first - but I wore her down. I knew we would be lifelong friends the minute I met her - and we have been. She was my closest friend EVER in my life when I was in college. We did everything together. Worked together. Attended the same college while we worked full time. Because of her, I took the 'leap' and moved out of my brother's house and into an apartment. A dump. But it was 'home' and it was just me. I never would have done that without KQV's encouragement. That's what we did for each other - encouraged, listened, protected. Her family welcomed me into their lives as one of their own - her mom is still one of the coolest people I've ever met. After college, I moved up to No. California to work in Mervyn's corporate offices. KQV stayed in So. California. By the time I'd moved, she'd met G. who became her husband. I was in her wedding. They live in LaVerne and have two daughters. We see each other whenever we can - most recently during our recent trip to Disneyland. Everytime we see each other, no matter how long it's been since our last visit, we just pick up right where we left off. No awkward silences. We always have plenty to talk about - the differences between daughters and sons is our current hot topic. We correspond by email off and on. She's my dearest friend. For my 21st birthday, she took me to a Dan Folgelberg concert - we had just seen him at another venue a few months before - but KQV got 2 tickets, told my sister-in-law to have me ready to go at 6PM on my birthday and showed up - when I saw the sign about who was appearing, I was so excited. She was so happy that I was excited - she thought I might not want to see him again. But it was an amazing concert with an amazing friend and a magical night that I still remember.

Making friends as an adult is hard. It takes a lot of effort. J. and I really don't socialize much with many people - and I wonder lately why that is? I mean, we're nice people. We're both fun and pleasant to be around. But we don't have a lot of friends we hang out with. I don't get that and lately it bothers me. Why don't we have people we hang out with regularly? We have 'friends' - people we've met through the kids or through church. But these aren't people we see consistently. Now I'm the first to admit that I just like being home - it's where I most want to be. So 'going out' and hanging doesn't really interest me. And maybe that's it - I'm just not all that social. But I wish I was sometimes. I wish we had zillions of friends we did things with and went places with.

I have another really good friend - J. I met J. through my former corporate job. She was someone I'd often heard about - always positive comments and usually with a 'she's something' added somewhere in the conversation. I never really knew what people meant by that. J. was offered a job in our department and our boss introduced her to us by taking all of us to lunch and J. was there. We had no idea WHY J. was there and our boss didn't say or do a whole lot make that any clearer during the lunch. And we were a hard group to infiltrate but J. did it - and before too long, I realized that J. was an old soul and a wonderful person. When I've needed a friend in recent years, she's who I turn to. And she's always there. I miss seeing her everyday. We used to go down and get coffee together everyday and kibbitz about our day, our family, etc. She was my rock when my mother was dying. She's listened when I've ranted about things. When I got laid off, she was the first person I called and she rushed right down to my office. Stayed with me and helped me pack. She knew before I did that there was life after that company and she encouraged me through interviews and soul-searching - all which led me to where I am now. She has 2 kids and the most amazing husband - and I say that NOT implying that I covet hers and don't adore mine - but her hubby is so right for her - he is an 'old soul' and one of the kindest men I've ever met. She is the kind of friend you treasure and are grateful for - REALLY grateful. Because I know that even though we lead very different lives and don't see each other often, she is there for me. And I am there for her. If anything ever happened and I need someone to help me, J. would be the first person I'd call and I know without a doubt that she'd be there. And I'd do the same for her. She's a rare find and I treasure her. And I know she reads my blog (she's one of the few I've shared the address with) - so Hi, J. and thanks for being such a good friend. I'm glad you're in my life - now get your butt over to my house sometime to say 'Hi', OK??