Blessings

I go to bed smiling lately. Perhaps that's the norm for most people, but in my life, it has been the rarity that I drifted off to sleep feeling content, safe and happy.

We are blessed. I like to say 'I am blessed beyond all comprehension' as I drift off to sleep. Blessed with two great kids, a great spouse, wonderful home, good jobs, a happy, happy life. Truly, truly blessed.

I still have days when I have to remind myself of that. I still have moments when I forget to appreciate how wonderful my life is compared with others - and I have to shake myself up to get back to the state of happy.

No, all days are not perfect - no one's are. Mine border on good most of the time and sometimes, sublime. But lately, even an average day has me smiling as I fall asleep. Just a small upturn at the corners of my mouth that seems to be there more often than not. It's a nice feeling.

We bought some artwork for our house. We have had paintings 'in mind' for our livingroom since we moved into this house 4 years ago - and we finally found them. Bought 4 paintings on the spot, have ordered two more and are still looking. We have this gigantic 14 foot high wall in our livingroom - and it's got windows in odd places that sort of break the wall up into these strange areas that need something. Finally, we found it - artwork by Joy Broe. BEAUTIFUL...and so NOT my taste when we were first married - but now, we both just instantly fell in love with them and knew they were perfect for this space we've been pondering for years. And as we made the purchase and then ordered two more online last night, I was reminded yet again how lucky we really are. To be able to drop a serious chunk of change because we both loved something and wanted it - and not have to think about it at all - just did it. It shocks me still...really. I didn't grow up in a home that had 'plenty'. Money was a constant issue and source of stress during my childhood...there was never enough, yet my mom kept spending like there was. It was a strange way to live...and I grew up believing that everyone pays for everything with plastic. Not so, I learned later - after marrying Jim, the budget king. We do use credit cards - for the 'rewards' - but we pay them off in full every month - no exceptions. It's hard some months to bite the bullet, but we do. So here I am, able to pretty much buy what I need or want with no worries. See? Blessed.

J. says I'm the family money wizard. I am, now. But truly, I learned from him what a budget is and how to stick to it. The hardest part is putting it on paper - and it can be a shocking exercise. But once done, it leads to so much more 'freedom' - because we know how much we spend every month, and on what - so we know what's 'available'. I'd never understood that concept until I married J. I just paid my bills (ALWAYS ON TIME) and 'lived' on whatever was left. If 'whatever was left' wasn't enough, then I did what my mom had always done - charged it. But then J. changed all that for me.

This has always hit home for me:

You always have as much as you need,
but you never get as much as you want.
The wanting just gets in the way of enjoying what you have.

Wanting doesn't get in the way anymore...and that's the biggest blessing of all.