Family Dynamics

Whenever I’m having a particularly hard day on the home front, I’m going to remember the postings we’ve seen lately of cousins – as their daughter trashes them and posts things on Facebook (including entire text conversations taken off her phone and shared for all the world to see) – and remember that we’re not that bad, at least not currently.  I feel for the family – they are clearly in crisis.  And considering one of them is a counselor themselves, it’s super hard to imagine how they got to where they are with the situation?  Kids make choices we don’t always agree with.  We’re living that, too, so we get it.  I know how much they love their child and how hurt they are about the approach she’s taking to things lately.  And while things in our home are frequently tense, we aren’t trashing any party on Facebook – so that’s something to be thankful for. 

We finally had the discussion with our ‘roommates’ that’s been building for a couple weeks and I guess all parties brought up some things that need attention (on all sides) and we’ve agreed to keep on keeping on and see how it goes.  I made my points about how disrespectful it is to be completely disregarded and while there was some explanation, there remains some further conversations to ensure all understand.  Essentially, it’s about the basics of any relationship – communication – and they have challenges within their relationship about how they communicate that they navigate simultaneously to the challenges we have as a group.  Living together under one roof is never easy – they are adults and independent while being somewhat dependent on us.  And that isn’t likely to change in the near future. 

For now, they stay.  I realized that I struggle because somedays, I can handle the constant up and downs and put offs that happen better than others.  One night, I’m tired, not wanting to spend the evening on pins and needles and completely bat-shit crazy about them putting us off again.  And the next, I’m either too beaten down about it all to give a crap?  Or just in general more tolerant of things.  So I need to work on that.

The coworker and I had a good conversation and worked through the major (MAJOR) blowup that happened last week and got back to our usual secure footing.  We both saw each other’s perspective; both acknowledged the things we could have done differently in the moments we were conversing about the issue and realize that we have to keep checking in with each other about where we are.  To their credit, earlier this week when we were discussing something, he realized his ‘tone’ was moving in a direction that could be misinterpreted and he stopped himself and said ‘I have that tone that implies I’m upset with you and I’m not.  I’m just upset with the issue – and we will solve it together’.  That’s progress!  And I thanked him for checking in with me about it mid-sentence. 

I’m working this weekend and every weekend in May because in addition to the annual madness known as Budget, we have a tentative agreement with our teacher’s union – so I have to start plowing through the paperwork related to that AND incorporate all that into budget.  Budget also includes ‘Estimated Actuals’ where we estimate our ending balance for the current year so that’s also a HUGE process made even more huge by the possible settlement.  It’s a lot of work and it’s going to take a lot of effort to make it through.  Thankfully, I’m working when it’s quiet and no interruptions so I can make copious lists, consider things I can delegate to people and hand off and I’m sure it will all get done.  And I’m looking forward to the ‘reward’ when it is all done – five nights in Reno with my best beloved. 

H. cut his hand pretty badly last weekend – not sure of the timing, exactly?  He said he woke up in the middle of the night and it was a huge, open-gapped wound that was bleeding like crazy so he went to the ER.  With J. sleeping in the other room.  $636 later for using wound glue on his hand.  The two of them are absolutely clueless about insurance – about how something like that – inconvenient for sure but not life threatening – is something they should have waited until daylight.  Wrap it in a towel if you have to and wait until you can get to your regular doctor or even urgent care.  Our doctor’s office now has an urgent care center here in town so you can be seen without an appointment 16 hours of the day.  But no – they headed to ER.  Grrr. 

I'm home alone this evening - J. is at a concert in Stockton.  Time to reorganize the desk a bit, work on some paperwork that needs handling, open a weeks' worth of mail and pay the bills - including the ER bill.  Adding it to our 'amount owed' (from H., not R.).  My generosity is the 'living here rent free' but he has to pay his own bills.  

Too Much

Yes, I'm alive.  Some days, barely.  But I breathe.  I eat.  I (try to) sleep.  Vacation is a very faint memory.  Everything is too much at the moment.  Every.single.damn.thing.

Something happened at work last week that has shaken me to my core and I'm still reeling from it.  Not sure what to 'do' (if anything).  But I feel compelled TO DO something.  Talk with the person involved and express my very deeply felt feelings on the issue.  That's at the least.  I've toyed with walking out - give two weeks notice and leave - but that doesn't feel 'right' for the district - and we need the money my job brings.  Though we could live without it.  Still....really wish I could.  Take some time off and find something else, somewhere else.  Maybe move to Reno sooner than we'd planned.

All those things are possible and when I'm frantic about what happened, I just try to realize that there are options.  And in the mean time, there's so much work to do.

Home?  It's a nightmare.  Tonight, another postponed meeting with a gazillion excuses.  So I 'pulled the plug' and told H. 'this is it.  We're done.  We're asking you both to leave and we're not going to keep doing this'.  He quickly did a 360 and admitted that despite his conversations with us, he apparently hasn't made it super clear to her how serious things have become.  So supposedly, we meet tomorrow.  I told him under no uncertain terms that the meeting tomorrow is not guaranteed to change the outcome.  Their behavior needs to change in an identifiable, witnessed daily, extended, meaningful way and short of that, we're going to reclaim our peaceful home and life and they will move on.  Even with no jobs, nowhere to go.  Won't be our problem anymore, at that point.

And R. washed a load of blankets and broke the washer.  $1200 in repairs.  We could almost buy a new one for that.  We ended up going with the full house warranty - got 50% off the repair and can now have every single appliance, HVAC unit, etc. checked out and serviced for a year.

I have a meeting at the County office in the morning and then in the office all day with my nose to the grindstone.  I'm entering the time of year when it's work six or seven days a week from now until mid to late June.

I did enjoy a fun weekend in Reno - just me.  But even that didn't really bring any joy to my troubled, sad, exhausted heart - it was fun...but.  Sort of not.  All the events (both home and work) sort of muddled the 'fun' and 'relaxation' I usually feel.  And I might feel differently if I'd come home with a big win in my purse - but that didn't happen, either.  Though I did have a couple good days of small wins that kept me playing - and those 'runs' are always loads of fun.

I'm trekking to my counselor again next weekend 'cuz then it's May and it will be super hard to get to Hayward on days I need to plow through work.  I have been looking at some ways to 'short cut' some of the things that are super time consuming about our budget process - found a new report on our system that I've never been able to configure correctly - but I took some time yesterday and played with it and viola!  A relatively easy way to run some numbers for a huge report that is a part of this year's budget timing.

Time for sleep.  Or a night of trying to sleep.  I want to drop of some surprises for my work mates (Admin Assistant Day tomorrow and I have a lot of people who assist) - need to leave the house at 7 to get to work briefly and then head to the COE.

Easter Weekend

Our travel day home was super long.  Connecting flight delayed an hour before we even arrived - and then ANOTHER hour for them to pound out a small 'dent' in one of the engine blades.  Considering the first delay was related to a 'plane swap', seems like they swapped for another not great plane.  Both of our airplanes were super low tech - we missed the TV screen on the back of the seat in front of us and the variety of entertainment options provided on the flight to Miami.  The planes home had zero video entertainment - you could get 'free' video via your own device - J. got it to work on his phone but it never worked on mine. 

I read an entire book - which was nice.  But I would have preferred movies.

Our delay resulted in hitting CRAZY traffic all the way home from SFO - and we did make the stop in Livermore to pick up Chloe.  She was super happy to see us - and probably even more happy to be back in her quiet, relaxing home.  There were six other dogs there and while we know she had an absolute blast, she also had the look of 'get me out of here'.  Ready for some quiet time in her bed(s) which is how she has spent the past few days.

I spent yesterday unpacking, paying bills, working on taxes and grocery shopping.  Today is more of the same with cooking replacing the shopping.  Roast beef, au gratin potatoes, pea salad and cream puffs with chocolate sauce for Easter dinner.  And hopefully popovers to go with the roast.

Things at home are....well...we're home so that's nice.  Our two visitors did very little on the list of things we offered to have them do for compensation.  Considering the drama related to their need for funds and us attempting to make that happen from across the country - as loans, obviously, though who knows when we'll get paid back - you'd think they would be working their hardest to earn their keep.  But they seemingly spent two weeks doing as little as possible.  Some things are done - the kitchen cupboards have been reorganized and a lot of things that were on the counter are in cupboards.  Totally nice; however, I a) can't reach many things now; b) have been unable to figure out where stuff is and c) there's no 'sense' to things being where they are but oh well. 

I'm super happy to have taxes pretty much 'done' and we owe about 1/3 what I thought we would.  Helped by prepaying 1/2 of 2018's property taxes - so that's a big swing to remember for 2018.  Need to try to make as many charitable donations as we can this year to offset that change. 

I am super tan and feel great to have evidence of the wonderful vacation!  I am looking forward to a busy, productive week at work and am glad it's Spring Break so it will be a very quiet, low phone, low meeting week.  Nice way to ease back into the daily grind!

Going to make popovers and chocolate sauce.  Good wine, great food and catching up over a nice dinner.  Then a great night's sleep to prepare for tomorrow.

Life is good.  I got a couple tops from that clothing company on the cruise and I love it - it's a great reminder to reflect daily on the things that are good - and there are so many, even in an average day. 

Banshees

We have new neighbors this afternoon and they will fit right in since one of our favorite rides was the Pandora - The World of Avatar where you ride on the back of a banshee.  It's a thrilling ride and I wish we could have ridden it more than once but Fast Passes were few and far between this trip. 

The kids next door are acting like they've never stayed in a hotel in their life.  Maybe they haven't. 

And we love Old Key West because it feels more like a village - a small community.  People barbecuing out by the pool every night.  Walking around the trails and sidewalks.  It's really a lovely place and I think we're definitely staying here again. 

We made it to The Magic Kingdom today which is very Disneyland like.  J. managed to talk his way onto two rides as a 'solo' - it could be his limp or his sea blue eyes.  Gray hair doesn't hurt, either.  I did some meandering and found the one Pooh shop in the park - with nothing special as is the Disney way these days. 

We returned to the resort, picked up my purchases from the past couple days (free delivery to your resort) and headed to our room.  We're pretty much packed up and the scale we have to weigh our suitcases is coming in super handy.  We are loading them up to within 5 pounds of the 50 pound limit and at the moment, it looks like J.'s suitcase will be the 'last minute catch-all' and will likely be underweight.  If we have time, we will redistribute in the morning but we likely won't have a second to spare.

Sadly, the on-site TSA service isn't available before 5AM so we will have to schlep our bags and get them checked at the airport.  Fingers crossed there's curbside check-in that early - not likely but a girl's got to hope.

There's been so much drama at home - I won't write about it which means someday, I'll read this post and wonder what it was all about.  The two left at home just create so many drama-filled moments.  Not thinking things through; making decisions that are unwise and not well planned out.  Crisis is the name of the game and we're really wrestling with how to handle things.  We can't support them both.  We can't pay their bills each month without putting our financial priorities in the backseat.  We both feel pretty strongly that one of the main reasons we are fairly comfortable is 'cuz we stay with the plan - and paying their bills for them is a HUGE deviation from 'the plan'. 

I'm ready to tell them both 'if you are emotionally and mentally unable to work, then you both need to be under a doctor's care for these issues so that you can improve them.  And/or then become officially disabled if unable to work because of them.  And try to qualify for public assistance and/or public housing?  'cuz living with us isn't a long term solution. 

She chose leaving her husband - and he chose being in a relationship with her.  She has no job skills and he has skills but struggles to keep a job.  It's just a constant drama-filled cycle these days. 

Disney World has been super magical and fun and we are already looking forward to a return someday in the not-too-distant future. 

Tomorrow is back to reality - we're going to be super glad to be home.  And super sad to have another amazing vacation over. 

But the great thing about our trips are the memories.  There have been so many wonderful memories made this trip - and we will have those forever! 

It's still super bright outside but it's approaching 7PM - if I want 7.5ish hours of sleep, I need to try to get to bed soon.  Tomorrow is going to be a weird travel day. 

Sun & Laundry

I did trek to 'the largest Disney Store in the world' this morning and was thoroughly and utterly disappointed.  I couldn't believe that they don't carry the same merchandise as the parks do - and the entire reason I went there was because I hadn't bought much at the parks because I planned to do all my shopping at once in the LARGEST DISNEY STORE IN THE WORLD. 

Yes, they had a lot of things like the park but specifically, I waited to purchase things from the Epcot Flower & Garden show - park only.  Darn it! 

So I trekked back to Epcot all by myself - taking two boats and a bus to get there.  Then did the fastest shopping ever and was heading back to the hotel after only a little more than an hour.  And my BIG SPLURGE was buying a new Dooney & Bourke wallet in a Minnie Mouse garden theme - only a Flower & Garden show limited item.  I've needed a new wallet, it's super cute and super special and made the trip back to Epcot so worth it.  I hadn't seen the wallet there yesterday and wasn't looking for it - but there it was and I snapped it up.  All the items will be here at our hotel tomorrow after 2PM.  Just in time to put them in a suitcase.  I wanted to buy a lot of garden things but we really don't have a ton of room available - and I've spent more than enough already. 

J. had a great time playing golf - played with a family from Liverpool (England) and had a fun time.  We were both back at the hotel pretty close to each other and we headed to the pool with a suitcase of laundry to do.  A few days ago, I said 'let's do laundry' and he said 'why'?  But today, we decided to do a quick load - I'm out of shorts.  Only when we were getting ready to go, J. said 'well, let's do ALL the dirty laundry'.  Um, OK.  Sure.  I suggested that only a couple days ago and you said 'why?'.  But now you want to.  So we will.  And so we did.  Now we're going to leave out what we need for the next two days and then be almost done packing.

I got a good sun boost by swimming a bit and then sunning on a chaise.  I've got some good color this trip - definitely look like I've been somewhere and done some things - and am really going to try hard to keep it.  The pool is bath water temp and it's lovely to just walk right in - stay in as long as you want and feel refreshed when you get out and the breeze hits you. 

Our 4AM pickup time on Friday morning feels cruel but the only option was to take a later flight which would have us arriving into SFO late afternoon/evening - and then dealing with Friday commute traffic home.  No.  A very early rising is a small price to pay to be home in Tracy well before commute traffic including stopping to pick up our dogirini.  Saves us $35 and the hassle of driving back over the Altamont on Saturday morning.

We've ordered a room service pizza and two Caesar salads for dinner.  We just don't feel like trekking anywhere tonight.  Tomorrow, we'll go to the hotel restaurant for breakfast - only we're not making reservations and if it's too crowded when we're ready to eat, we'll head straight for The Magic Kingdom and find something to eat there.  I don't like having to set an alarm to go eat.  And it's likely the restaurant will have room even without a reservation.

It's sure been a lovely two weeks.  I've had messages from some work friends that they miss me and can't wait to hear all about the trip.  One friend said 'your vacation has me shopping for our summer vacation' and I wrote back 'you guys need a cruise and a Disneyworld week, too!  It's magical!'. 

It really has been a wonderful trip and I so look forward to doing it again.  I'm going to see if there's any way we can wedge in a few park days next year before our Panama Canal cruise.  And I'd really like to get to Universal Studios for the Harry Potter experience(s).  We'll see.

Shopping Day!

J. is playing golf on the course that winds through our resort.  He was up early and I am enjoying a lazy-ish morning.  On my 2nd cup of coffee and giving careful consideration to getting showered and dressed soon.  I'm heading to Disney Springs where the world's largest Disney store is and will do a bunch of fun shopping.  Pins, apparel, garden items.  Super excited for a long morning of browsing.  Everything I buy can be sent directly here to the resort for me to pick up tomorrow so I don't have to hassle with shopping bags.  I'll meander through the area and find a nice place to eat. 

We did Epcot yesterday.  Soaring Over the World did not disappoint and we'd love to soar again but sadly, no fast passes available.  Waiting over an hour to ride again isn't in the cards for us.  Epcot is massive and we split up for lunch.  J. crossed the 'pond' via boat to go eat Moroccan and I stayed on the park side of the pond and headed for Mexican.  We also enjoyed the garden sites and the butterfly building - so pretty!

We spoke to people who come to the parks often and marvel at how there really is no comparison between Disneyland and Disney World.  There's so much LAND here - still so many possibilities to build at some point and just the massive 'connectedness' of the parks.  It's really amazing what is created here and how efficiently it runs.  Even lines for restaurants are 'staffed' - they direct you to the shortest line and ensure no one is line jumping and ensure things run as efficiently as possible.  It's pretty impressive.

I'd have to put this out there - I think I'd rather save up for five years and come HERE for my Disney fix vs. Disneyland.  Disneyland just doesn't compare at all for me at the moment after spending a week here.

Tomorrow is our last full day and I think we're planning to head to The Magic Kingdom for part of the day.  I also might visit a park solo later today depending on my stamina.  I hate having a day of non-park time since we paid for the passes for six full days, all parks, any time.  J. asked me how much our tickets were and I had to say I have no idea.  It was all a 'package' and I don't really know the net cost of the park tickets. 

Considering I moved to Old Key West based on pricing, it's worked out pretty well.  It's Disney's first 'time share' property and it's really quite lovely.  Small buildings with multiple rooms, all with small kitchens (some have a full kitchen if there are multiple bedrooms in the unit).  Like a studio apartment.  Everything is well maintained and maid service is (still) daily.  Our unit is steps away from a 24 hour pool and we've enjoyed that as well.  We ate dinner at the pool last night - shared a big sandwich with homemade potato chips and had a margarita (J.) and an on tap beer (me.  And I have to say that drinking anything other than Blue Moon is hard for me but we paid for a Bud Light so I drank it).  Meeting nice people and families who vacation here year after year - some staying for weeks at a time.  Of course, we got hit up to attend a presentation to 'buy in'.  And we aren't planning to attend, not even for the $100 credit they offered.  We've considered making a vacation home purchase for years - but always stop ourselves when we think about going to the same place year after year.  We made a list of all the countries we've visited in the last five years and realize none of that would happen if all our vacation dollars were going to pay for 'one place'.  So we pass. 

I'm sold on staying here again, though - and do think we will arrange another visit.  I'd really love to bring 'the whole family' at some point - though that feels complex, fraught with drama and...of course...super expensive.  But it would sure be fun. 

It's approaching 9AM so I'd better get dressed.  I'm 'late' (I planned to leave the apartment by 9 but I'm not going to make that).  It's been nice to have a quiet morning of not needing to get anywhere or do anything specific. 

All in all, we've had a lovely time here and are still dreaming about the ship - so much fun! 

Update On Land

The cruise passed super quickly as wonderful cruises do.  I had an extraordinary night at the casino on the second-to-last night and had some great wins.  It was a nice wind down into our last day.  We headed to the Atlantis Resort in Nassau and just might be writing a negative review about the day.  Basically a huge amount of money for what ended up being a bus ride to the resort.  The description says 'you will be escorted to a chaise on a beach' and that isn't what happened.  They basically walked us from the bus to a bar and pointed and left us all there.  J. did go to the beach which was windy and not all that nice.  I headed to the 'famed' casino which was equally disappointing.  Super old games and the Ainsworth mecca - if you play slots, you know to avoid Ainsworth 'cuz they are designed to NOT pay - way more than any other slot, in my opinion.

We headed back to the ship on the first bus we could and just had a nice cabin day - packing some.  Wrestling with the feelings that always happen as we wind down a cruise.  Super looking forward to next year and I will log in to NCL often just to watch the countdown to our next cruise.  A year and a few days away.

The disembarkation process was smooth and while there are always lines, they moved quickly.  Budget Rental for a car to drive to Orlando was a fiasco and that might be another negative review.  They send one small shuttle to the port for DOZENS of people awaiting transport.  We finally gave up and took a cab.  Then it was a zoo at the teeny, tiny downtown Miami budget office - something about a 'festival' in town.  There were a lot of pissed off people....and more arriving every 1/2 hour also having waited for the shuttle and/or many more in cabs.  It was a zoo and we were super glad to get out of there.  The drive was uneventful and we stopped at Steak & Shake for lunch which was DELICIOUS!

The Land of Mouse is extraordinary - the transportation system alone is awe-inspiring.  Our room is nice with a small kitchen - no stove but microwave, coffee pot, dishes, etc. .  The beds are comfy.  So far, we've visited Animal Kingdom twice and we went to Hollywood Studios for our anniversary dinner at The Brown Derby - BEST sirloin we've ever had in our lives.  Then we saw Fantasmic which was also amazing.  We both crashed and slept in this morning UNTIL 9AM!  We were exhausted.

I scored a fast pass for the safari ride at Animal Kingdom and we also have a Pandora fast pass there today so we're headed to the Kingdom for the third time in just a bit.  Tomorrow is Epcot and I'm super excited about it 'cuz it's the annual flower and garden show which we've heard is SPECTACULAR.

It is super crowded (Spring Break.....bad planning but oh well - we cruised when we cruised and tied this park visit to that event so...we just have to deal with it).  I admire the parents who trek with multiple kids through these places - J. and I are completely worn out at the end of the day and so glad we don't have little people to deal with.  It's all we can do to take care of 'just us'.  I remember those days of magic for the kids but I'm glad they're over for us, for now. 

B. called first thing yesterday to wish us a Happy Anniversary - wish we could say the same about H..
B. had good news - he is officially promoted to Sargent as of April 1st.  Super proud of him because he set a goal, worked hard and did it!  He's excited for a pay raise.  I'm just proud of the way he keeps tacking things - he's pretty goal oriented and driven.

Time to get showered and moving - we need to get some food and then head into the park again. 

I hope my feet survive.  LOL.