Local Casino

Once a month, the small casino down the street from the rental town house we lived in for 7 months allows players to swap comps for free play.  The amount you can exchange is determined by your player card level - for me, it's using $200 in comps for $100 in free play.  (FYI - double the comps for half that amount in free play is very common - Atlantis uses the same formula only Atlantis doesn't restrict the swap to once a month AND you can do it yourself via the player kiosk).  Some might think a 100% 'loss' is not worth it?  But this small, local casino doesn't offer events.  They don't do crab feeds, winery dinners, monthly drawings for $70,000 in prizes - and we don't dine there much (at all) really.  They have one restaurant (of 2) open since the pandemic and we aren't likely to ever use 100's of dollars in comps there.  Ever. 

Gold Dust West requires you to go to the window and request the swap - which is fine.  I love the convenience of using comps on your own that Atlantis provides but I'll go to the window if I have to.  Thankfully, the entire bank of Dragonlinks (six machines) was empty so I hurried to the the swap and headed back to pick a machine. 

I'd been looking forward to today as the monthly 'swap' date - and I've been swapping now for three months in a row and this is the last swap I'll be able to do for a while.  Need to build up some more comps.

It's super rainy here today (as expected) and I was really looking forward to a bit of fun time at a casino.  J. agreed to drop me off there so I could have a beer or two and enjoy the play.  Guess the mindless-ness of playing slots is more appealing to me than curling up with hot tea and a good book on a very rainy day. 

I was up $400 in the first 20 minutes of being there - hadn't even had a beer yet - and many would say 'so why didn't you leave'?  I would answer 'because what's the fun in that?  I want to play!'.  So I stayed.  The slot was pretty hot for a bit and then cooled significantly - and I knew I should stop.  Or move to a different slot.  But two wonderful ladies had sat down near me and we were having fun rooting for each other - cheering the bonus rounds and booing the missed bonus rounds.  I really just felt like I wasn't ready to stop playing yet.  So I put another sum of money I do not wish to disclose (LOL) and kept playing.  I decided to 'finish big' so I upped my bet.  I got a bonus round of free games on a $5 bet (2 cent denomination) and got a bonus round of six free games.  And on the 6th (last) free game, this happened:  

Last spin of six and it dropped the $893.04 MAJOR!  Woot woot.  I had $291.50 on the 'win' meter from the previous five games.  

The final round ended as this:

$1309.54 - my first hand pay at this local casino.  [Hand pays are any pay out > $1200.00.  As defined by the IRS.  The term 'hand pay' comes from the slot attendants having to hand you the winnings vs. just adding the winnings to your 'credit' meter which you then cash out via a 'ticket' whenever you're ready to stop playing].  FYI - doesn't mean you will owe taxes on that win - gambling wins are offset by gambling losses and while the ladies I was having fun with were bemoaning the hand pay, I was OK with it.  I have WAY more losses than wins to offset any gain so...it's all good.  This is my 5th hand pay of 2021 which will most definitely go down as an epic year in terms of hand pays.

It was a wonderful morning. (I won a Major on this same machine on August 31st - which also was game six of six).  I'm really starting to love this machine!

As soon as I saw the Major drop and knew it was 'mine', I texted J. 'please come get me'.  Not realizing at that point it was a handpay (which adds at least 20-30 minutes to the process) - so he came and ended up coming in 'cuz I wasn't coming out.  

If he hadn't picked me up and been my 'ride', I would have very likely played another machine with a Major jackpot in the same range (mid $800 - prime hitting range) and likely put a lot of my winnings back.  But I didn't do that - did (quite a) few backup spins, won another $200 and called it a morning.  

EPIC morning. 

If beers for brunch is wrong, I don't want to be right.  LOL.

And...I had some heart epiphanies, too.  I feel bad (really bad) at times sitting at a slot machine playing with wild abandon thinking (at times - not always but sometimes) 'I could use this money to help H. .  We could get him an apartment and help him get (back) on his feet'.  But today, I realized 'wait a minute, Majah.  Yes, you could do that.  But you HAVE financially helped him to a degree that many parents wouldn't.  You have been generous and patient and spent considerable funds trying to 'help him' with a fresh start.  It didn't work....which is gut-wrenching and makes you feel sad a lot - you aren't responsible for him anymore.  You legally stopped being responsible for him ten years ago and you've done a lot in the past ten years trying to 'help him'.  But you don't 'have to' do that.  You earned this life.  You and J. worked fricking HARD for this life - for the financial comfort you have in retirement.  There is zero (ZERO!!!!) obligation for you to continue to financially support someone who is repeatedly making bad choice after bad choice.  LET IT GO!'.  And that revelation is why I just felt like "I'm not ready to stop playing yet".  And putting that new amount (it was $200.  Just $200.  Lest you think it was more) was sort of my emancipation from feeling sad about the money I use to fund my 'hobby' vs. using it to help someone I love who clearly is past helping.  

H., help yourself.  That is my new prayer nightly - God, please help him to help himself.  Make a change.  Emancipate YOURSELF from the addiction that has controlled your life for years.  

I type this thinking 'I should have tried that other machine' but I'm letting that go, too.  Walking out of a casino (ANY casino) 'up' is a blessing not to be ignored.  It was a winning day and I'm grateful and happy for it - 

And ready for a nap.  LOL. 

Skipping Fall

In the blink of an eye, it feels like Winter.  Hills around us are dusted with snow and we're heading into two full days of rain (according to the weather people).  I plan to go outside and do some yard stuff before we're soaked.  I ordered some plants for "Fall" planting and they are not in dirt yet so...even though we seemed to have completely passed over the season known as Fall, I need to get them in a patio pot that will be protected from snow fall (by residing on the covered patio over Winter).  

Let's see....stuff to catch up on.  

The house blessing was absolutely wonderful.  Beautiful ceremony and lots of really wonderful, fun, pleasant people to meet.  The mother of our neighbor G. came up to J. and I and said 'you must be the lovely neighbors I've heard so much about'.  T. & G. are two incredibly joy-filled people and they attract the same - so many friends and family there and everyone was just wonderful.   We found a new hole-in-the-wall Mexican food restaurant here in Carson - best Mexican food we've had since we moved here.  Everything was SUPER delicious and just the right level of heat.  We had a blast.  We invited T. & G. to be our guests at Atlantis Steakhouse this coming Thursday to celebrate their anniversary.  T. was reluctant to accept but they took us to dinner for our anniversary at Fandango (also a great steakhouse) so fair is fair.  Looking forward to a fun evening.

We made two trips to Atlantis this week (Th & Fri) and I came home even on Day 1 and up a smidge on Day 2 so that's great!  I've started a new 'trick' of sorts:  I 'borrow' an amount from J.'s fun money before we leave.  That's the amount I use to play Dragonlinks - which are by far my most favorite slot - and I make it my mission to end my Dragonlink session with at least enough to 'pay back' what I owe to J. .  If I hit something really big, I can cash out, pay him back and be in the black for that session.  Otherwise, I play for a while and hopefully go up and down and end with enough to be back where I started.  It's a form of discipline that helps me do better at not leaving Dragonlink machines down a ton.  

(I have plenty of fun money at any given moment so I don't need to 'borrow' from J. - but that 'debt' to another person is a lot easier to force myself to pay back vs. just taking it out of my money and then playing past the point of being even).  The psychology of slots is trippy, huh?  LOL.  

And our free play was also helping in creating play money and I did manage to be up a bit at the end of our session yesterday which was great. 

We have a two night stay scheduled at Atlantis the first weekend in November so we're hoarding any wins to use for that long play cycle.  It's a drawing event and I'm hoping to win free play.  Or the Grand Prize of a Cadillac.  (I'll take the cash option - no interest in driving a Cadillac).  

On Wednesday, we went to Costco for flu shots.  Made appointments in advance.  The forms were ready for our signature but the appointment time really didn't make the process any faster - still took about an hour.  Luckily, I didn't cruise the aisles during the wait so we managed to stick to our list and made it out of the store for under $150.  Might be a record.  I woke up in the middle of the night with a raging headache that was even worse when I got up in the morning.  I felt pretty rotten most of Thursday but still made it to Atlantis for free play!    

A smidge after 9PM last night, J.'s phone chimed - a text from the person who has been trying to find/talk to H. .  S. said he did speak to him and basically, H. isn't ready to talk to us at this point.  There are a lot of disjointed angles to that scenario - H. had access to a phone because S. reached him on a phone - so....that does seem like H. may have access to ways to communicate with us and isn't.  By choice.  

I get it - truly, I do.  In August, H. and I had a very hard conversation on the phone - centered around his seeming inability to do a simple thing:  arrange to put $50 in the Wells Fargo account he has to pay his monthly cell phone bill.  Of course, I thought H. had a good job - making $16 an hour, guaranteed 40 hours - so coming up with $50 seemed like such a 'no brainer' - but he couldn't do it.  Over and over....request made, commitment it would be done but no deposit in the account.  Words were exchanged.  And H. said 'Mom, please don't do this to me now' and my trigger was fully launched.  'Do this to YOU?  Seriously?  What about us?  All the shit over and over...what about all that??'....I can't remember the specific exchange but it was ugly - so ugly that I phoned and texted him a couple times to apologize - back to thinking I was being incredibly hard on him.  

Turned out he was contacting his beautiful friend P. (in Livermore, CA) and hitting her up for $100 to pay me. (He told her he needed $100 to pay his cell phone bill.  He really needed only half of that.  If he's groveling for $, he will always ask for more than he needs - covered his drug expenses for a couple days with the other half.  Life of an addict).

Shortly after that, he stopped using the iPhone he'd just gotten (to replace the broken one - which he swore he mailed back to AT&T but which we were charged $300 for because they never received it.  Now that we know he was homeless, we are positive he never returned the phone.  Probably sold it to someone).   The $300 was also an amount he owed us that he was not able to commit to paying me back - another in a long list of red flags that resulted in me being a detective and finding out all the lies.  

Realizing his parents know what we know - I'm sure he isn't looking forward to the conversation.  I'm not either.  Though really our plan is to just let him know we love him and worry about him and that hearing from him on occasion would be good.  We aren't committing to helping him; won't offer anything - no financial support, no rescuing plane ticket - just acknowledge we love him and hope he will make changes in his life.  

We're working hard on focusing on all the amazing things in our life that make us say 'Life is Good' on a very regular basis.  In a beautiful home in a beautiful place with nature everywhere.  I saw FOUR rainbows on the way to Atlantis yesterday - so beautiful!

Silver Strands

My hair stylist is a beautiful woman in her 70's.  She's fascinating.  Author, teacher, cosmetologist.  We gave her salon a try because it's very close to our house.  She had a lot of rental stations before the pandemic but since then, she's been making it on her own.  Many of the stylists renting stations from her took issue with being deemed 'non-essential' by the people deciding what businesses could stay open - so when salons reopened here, they didn't return.  J. goes to her, too - we both love her.  We're glad she's open and glad to be helping her stay open. 

She commented a few months back 'maybe someday you'll let me highlight your hair'.  I said 'maybe'.  Thinking 'absolutely no' because I've done highlights before and it's time consuming and expensive.  Sure, it would provide way more texture and oomph than my baby fine, very thin hair but I wasn't keen on committing to the every two to three month redo process.  

Shortly after that conversation, my hair started getting a lot more grays.  I just got a haircut last week and we took off a couple inches.  Gladesa commented 'we may not need to do any highlights - your hair is getting lighter on it's own and it's lovely'!

I styled my hair this morning and it really is pretty with some light blonde and gray streaks.  I'm hoping it will go all the way to silver at some point.  My hair is chin length all around now so the gray streaks really shine - lots more gray shows with the length - I'm super excited about it!  Who knew I'd be so thrilled to go gray?  

I had to drive myself to Reno today for free play (the horror!  Just kidding but I did miss J. who drops me off so I can head straight to my favorite machines and whose presence allows me to have a couple beers while I play).  It was a not great slot day and a strong reminder why we avoid going to the casino on the weekend.  It was super crowded and the slots rarely pay on weekends. 

Thankfully, I still have $500 in free play J. won from the Atlantis golf tournament - when combined with my usual weekly $250, I'm hoping I can make up for some of the loss next Thursday when we make our weekly trek there.  There's another free play event on Friday too - so there's hope.  

I am always grateful for the hope.  

Tomorrow, we've been invited to a Hawaiian house blessing at our neighbor's.  Friends of theirs from Hawaii flew in for the weekend and are doing a traditional home blessing ceremony.  Should be fun.  Nice people, good food - will be a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

 

Smidges of Hope

We had a storm alert at the beginning of the week.  The published hours were 11PM Monday to 11AM Tuesday - but Mother Nature doesn't pay attention to the warning system, apparently.  Looking out the window on Monday morning, the hills across the freeway were shrouded - sort of looked like smoke (which was my first thought) but was really low.  In the time it took to walk from my bedroom to the kitchen, start a mug of coffee brewing and open the shutters in the kitchen, the shroud had reached our neighborhood.  Snow falling completely (REALLY) sideways.  Video proof below. It was crazy.  The snow didn't last long on the ground - too warm - but it continued for quite a while.  

 

We had some snow on the ground by Monday night but it was all gone Tuesday morning.  So much for the well-publicized storm warnings.  J. did shut down the drip system for the Winter which means now we'll have to hand water a bit if we don't get rain and/or snow.  We also had some sleet on Monday afternoon as well - wild.  

It was so cold that I had to get the down comforter out of the storage bag and add that to my bed - after an hour of trying to fall asleep and realizing I was so cold, sleep would not happen.  (And then of course, I thought about H. - sleeping without heat or a roof or likely much of anything).  Grateful for sleep finally happening so I didn't ponder that situation too long.  

On Tuesday, J. decided (with me finally agreeing - I had been unsure about doing this) to start calling phone numbers from H.'s cell phone in August.  After a lot of calls - mostly straight to voicemail or a quick hang-up - he reached someone named Simon.  Simon confirmed to J. that H. is homeless.  Said he had seen H. a few days ago and said he would do his best to make contact with H. and loan him his phone so he could call us.  As excited as we were about that, we were also somewhat  quixotically pensive about this new development.  If we were to talk to H., would he think we would immediately make arrangements to help - like getting him on a plane to us?  Would us not doing that 'break him' further? I really worried about that.  We planned to let him know mostly how much we love him; how he is the only person who can choose to live differently; no matter how hard things seem, making a change is possible; how hard it is for us to not know if he is OK for weeks at a time.  

Simon (bless his heart) tried multiple times to find H. .  He said the other homeless people would say 'you just missed him'.  That 'just missing him' happened a few times - leading us to think it's possible H. doesn't actually want contact.  That sort of makes sense - we're not even sure H. knows that we know everything.  Unless the person who loaned him a phone on September 4th showed H. my texts to that phone days later, he may not be aware that we know his situation.  Or...he does know we know and doesn't want to talk.  

I watched a podcast and a former addict said 'being addicted is completely demoralizing.  You can't fathom how you let a substance define your life in the way it has and you can't be sure you can ever 'fix' it'.  

Simon says he is in the area where H. hangs out on a regular basis so he will be able to find him at some point.  So we'll wait and see. 

At the very least, it feels 'better' to have confirmation H. is OK.  (OK = alive.  Never thought I'd have to say that about one of my kids but there it is).  My mind had been leading me down some really dark paths about H. - had so-called 'friends' hurt him?  But we know he is OK.  He's been seen.  That's a relief.

B. is back in Tennessee post training in Louisiana for a month.  This week, he's been taking his first in-airplane flying lessons and is super stoked. 

I had a great casino day yesterday - lost a horrible amount on tortuous Dragonlinks and then hit MightyCash Ultra for a HUGE win.  Made up for everything I'd lost and won that same amount again - so came home way up for the day.  I love days like that.  I hit a huge bonus round just as J. headed to the deli to order our food to go - and then hit an astronomical bonus round shortly after.  It was a $5.28 bet (huge for me) and it re-triggered more free games over and over.  SIXTY spins.   It was epic.  

While we were playing (earlier), a guy came by and stopped and marveled at the win J. had on his machine.  That same guy meandered back when I hit my first big bonus after J. had gone to get food.  The guy said 'I'm only a few tier points away from a meal - that's what they said'.  I said nothing.  He said 'with a win like that, you could help a guy out'.  I said nothing.  I wanted to say 'I have a homeless son who's a heroin addict and everything anyone does to help him turns into a way for him to get drugs.  Sorry but no'. 

If J. hadn't gone to get food (using my weekly $15 food voucher - J. hit the buffet with his voucher), I would have gladly taken the guy to one of the food places in Atlantis and used the $15 to get him food. And I sort of felt bad that I didn't cash out and offer to get him food using comps - but then I hit the HUGE win after he left and we left as soon as J. returned with my spaghetti and meatballs.  

I will watch for the guy tomorrow (going by myself for a free play event - Jim is playing golf with his golf group) and offer to get him food.  

It's a crystal clear blue sky Friday and we will be puttering around the homestead most of the day.  And because I won a bit, I plan to play slots here in Carson a bit later today.  Just a smidge.  I love the older (original) Dragonlinks and many of the local casinos here have them - Atlantis only has 2nd, 3rd or 4th generation machines and the payout is very different as the machines have evolved.  

I know my machines.  LOL.   

Perplexing Emotions

I had a very hard day yesterday.  Felt overwhelmed and on the verge of tears a good part of the day.  At one point, I told J. 'I want to go to a casino, play slots mindlessly and have some beer(s).  Only I know that's not a good thing to do so I won't do it'.  

But boy, did I want to.

Nothing really changed about the H. situation yesterday.  But some days, I'm just overwhelmingly sad/worried/scared about the entire mess.  Sometimes, I think he must be hurt (or worse) because I can't imagine him not reaching out to us for over a month.  In all the history of time, he's never been out of touch that long.  I worry that the handful (three) of people there's been contact with are actually 'imprisoning' him - keeping him isolated and unable to contact family.  It's an irrational feeling with no basis in actual fact - but there's a lot we (clearly) don't know about his situation and sometimes, my mind makes me worry endlessly.  

Sometimes I say 'I'm tired'.  And J. will gently remind 'you are probably worried; likely sad; maybe even a bit depressed.  All of those things are possible and not surprising considering the shit storm we're in these days'.  It helps to be reminded that when you feel tired to your bones, it's not really a lack of sleep.  Especially now in retirement - I turn out the lights around 10 and wake up between 7 or 8 - which is plenty of sleep even if I've had a bad 'not great sleep' kind of night.  So grateful for retirement that eliminates any need for setting an alarm or waking at any particular time.  

I'm grateful and blessed J. has my back and reminds me that sometimes, tired is a state of mind vs. a lack of rest. 

Today, I dug in to working on stuff around the house.  Proud to report I cleaned a lot of stuff that needed cleaning and the pile of dirty microfiber cloths makes me feel accomplished.  So does using up a couple of cleaning products.  During the pandemic, I bought things to try that I wouldn't normally buy - and I'm working hard on using stuff up to keep under the kitchen sink more organized and tidy.  We also have a utility closet down the hall from the kitchen so we're well stocked.  Stainless steel appliances are 'new' to me in terms of cleaning.  I used Jubilee Kitchen Wax on the stove today and hope it will help drips wipe up more easily.  

Also today, I did want to go try a new place to play slots - I've mentioned to J. before that I'd like to try someplace new once in a while.  Not adding a new place to my weekly rotation of places to play - but if they send me free play, it's worth a trek downtown.  We hit Carson City Nugget today and had fun.  I hit a $370 bonus round (nickel denomination, $1.25 bet) on Lightening Links shortly after starting - which was incredibly awesome and let me play on casino money for quite a bit. We had fun - not profitable overall - but it was fun.  (Very) small casino but not too smokey, not crowded and nice staff.  

J. was supposed to play golf on Monday but it's been cancelled because of weather.  We were expecting a huge storm yesterday (and I was looking forward to a rainy day) but it never materialized.  Monday is supposed to be pretty bad so hoping a rain day will keep me inside and continuing to work around the homestead.  We will make our weekly trip to Atlantis on Thursday and I still haven't used the $500 in free play J. won playing golf - so that will be loads of fun.  

I have nightly talks with God and ask him to keep H. close and nudge him to reach out to his family who are pretty worried about him.  

B. is now responsible for the loading and transportation of hundreds of vehicles used in the training - loading them onto barges to be transported back to the bases that sent them to the training.  He told J. he expects to be home Monday evening and he's so ready to be back in his own place after a few weeks away.  He was originally expecting to have a couple weeks off in October and had mentioned he'd hopefully come visit us for a bit - but now the days off are postponed.  Drat - BUT he may be able to visit for Christmas which would be lovely.  We've had two consecutive Christmases without a kid (or kids) with us so it would be nice if B. is able to be here.  We'll see.  We will be overjoyed for a visit whenever he can get here.  

Days are getting so much shorter - it's not 7PM yet but it's dark outside.  Fall happened so quickly - when the season 'turns', it turns fast.  

To any and all blog readers:  positive mojo, prayers, good thoughts and/or all of those much appreciated.  Some days, we're just getting by and knowing others are also sending out cosmic positivity into the universe would be deeply appreciated. 

Server Outage

Facebook is down today - which is fine 'cuz I'm piddling around the house keeping busy with tidying the kitchen, binge watching "Maid" on Netflix and watching the fleet of concrete trucks pour the foundation for our new neighbor's house!  Noisy work and felt a little nervous when the huge 'crane-like' truck put down it's stabilizing legs very near our yard.  All is good.  Trucks are gone and our neighbors are a smidge closer to their house!

J. is playing in the Atlantis 2021 Tournament semi-finals today - guaranteed a prize of some sort.  Probably another shirt?  If he places in the top 15 he'll play a week from today in the finals and be guaranteed his share of $50,000 in prizes!  Woot woot.  Fingers crossed.  I am glad he's enjoying playing and that's what's most important - him having fun.  But...I'm a sucker for free play so if he places that would be wonderful! 

UPDATE:  J. missed the finals by one stroke.  Drat!  BUT he did get a cool new shirt, $200 cash and $500 free play so all is not lost!!  Woot woot!  We will head to Reno Thursday for our weekly free play and add some extra play to it thanks to golf!  

The Saturday night Dinner in Tuscany was wonderful - and I had decent luck on the slots which was also wonderful.  Our table wasn't as lively on the conversation front as the previous dinner last week - but it was buffet service so people tended to get their food, find a table and eat then head back to wherever.  Food was delicious and we had a nice time.  

We're enjoying making the effort to participate in the many events hosted by Atlantis and it is nice to get out of the house.  

B. came 'out of the box' yesterday - he's still in Louisiana but they are back from three weeks 'in the field' so he has access to his phone.  He called and talked to us yesterday and it was so good to hear his voice.  Sadly for him, he waited in line for a snow cone and was within 10 people of being served when the truck ran out of ice.  DANG IT!  The truck picked the perfect time to show up - a ton of people who'd been sleeping outside in horrible weather were looking to treat themselves and return to something 'normal'.  I hope the truck comes back.  

We hosted our new neighbors briefly last Wednesday - spent a couple hours with them touring them around our house and yard and talking about the build process.  They are living in Minnesota currently and we found out it's because a family member is ill and they are spending as much time as they can there.  They owned a home in California and sold it - they can also stay with their daughter who lives in Folsom.  Super nice people and we're so doubly blessed to have wonderful neighbors on both sides of us.  Truly - great people, great neighborhood.  We lucked out big time. 

I ran the heatilator a bit to take the chill off the great room - mostly for the cats who have a bad case of 'it's getting cold in here' grumpy faces.  Poor babies.  It felt like there wasn't any 'in between' - it was hot one minute and cold the next. 

Slow Motion

I watch a fair amount of Law & Order - any and all of the various franchises of the series.  Taped on our DISH Hopper, available to me 24/7.  

Things always wrap up so easily on the show, right?  In an hour, there's a crime, a suspect identified, prosecution and sentencing.  Makes it all seem so simple.  

Filing a missing person report has felt overwhelming in dozens of ways.  Three weeks ago this morning is the last contact we've had with H. .  His phone has not been used since August 31st.  

J. and I have done a fair amount of 'round and round' talking about things - trying to decide what to do.  We were hesitant to file the report at first because what does that say?  Are we saying we want him found because we will find him help - stepping/continuing on the roller coaster we've been on with him for more than a decade?  Um, no.  That's not happening.  We aren't looking to find him to ride in on a white horse and 'save him'.  So what are we really saying if we file?  

This morning, J. contacted the Harris County Sheriff Department and within an hour of J.'s initial call, a detective phoned to get more info.  We provided H.'s information - last known addresses, people he might hang out with (we don't know many of them).  He checked to see if H. was in custody - I didn't mention that I've been doing that weekly or more than once a week for a few months.  He isn't in jail.  Never been arrested.   Had a traffic stop some months back (when he had the car) but no idea if he was cited or what the offense was.  (Privacy laws apply to all sorts of situations, I guess).  

In the end, H. doesn't qualify as a missing person at this point.  He's an adult and has no developmental disabilities or autism that would put him in a higher risk category.  Unfortunately, it appears he is homeless, has been for some time and if in active drug use (which we are sure he is), is likely staying on the streets. 

The detective asked if we had people there who could keep an eye out for him - but we really know so few people in his circle so that seems unlikely. 

He's sort of 'in the system' in that if he is arrested or picked up, there will be notes about the conversation we had with the detective...so that's something.  

We face what we're most worried about:  we may never see or hear from him again.  We may never know if he's alive or if he died.  That's a really hard thing to grapple with and there are moments when we have those thoughts that we just feel so overwhelmingly sad.  

We stand together and move through the fear and keep going.  There's nothing else we can do.  Just keep going.  

Enjoyed a fantastic evening at Atlantis in Reno last night - a winery dinner.  4 courses each served with a different wine.  Fantastic food and we were at such a fun table - lively conversation and the evening flew by.  AND six bottles of wine as a gift at the end of the dinner.  We played a bit before and a bit after and had a blast - and I hit a Dragonlink Major for the first time since June.  

I also played at Gold West in Carson yesterday and had the MOST extraordinary luck there, too - came home way up which gave me the funds to really have a blast at Atlantis.  I got on a machine that was just super duper HOT and hit bonus after bonus.  Started betting higher and it kept hitting, still!  It was an awesome day and the lovely time with J. at Atlantis was the perfect way to cap off a greatly fun slot play day.  

J. has golf Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday, we are hosting our soon to be new neighbors as they come visit their homesite.  The grading of the lot was started - but no foundation forms have been laid yet.  Thursday will be Atlantis free play day and we will go back next Saturday night for a 'Night in Tuscany' dinner.  We're trying to take advantage of all the opportunities we have for amazing events at Atlantis and it's been really fun lately. 

In other news, my closet reorganization has revealed I may actually have a problem....boy, do I have a LOT of Dooney & Bourke purses.  I'm really thinking of putting some up for sale on Poshmark or Mercari or some other site.  

The Amazon van just pulled up and likely delivered two more 'closet chests'.  I'm pretty close to conquering the conundrum of my closet space and I've made so much progress!  Feels exciting to have watched it morph and change the past month or so and I'm making sense of it all.  Next room to tackle reorganizing is the hobby room - which is really mostly becoming where we put stuff we are undecided about.  There's a lot of undecided.  

I keep watching B.'s Facebook messenger for a 'green dot' or a 'last online' time.  He's still in dark mode doing maneuvers and training at Ft. Polk in Louisiana and we're not exactly sure when his dark mode ends.