Food was spectacular. Had a wonderful time. The only thing we didn't do is make it back to the Grand Ballroom for the balloon drop at midnight - we were just wiped out so we ended up being tucked into bed and lights out just as the fireworks started.
We'll try to stay awake next year. We are really excited about making this an annual tradition.
On New Years Day, I played ALL DAY and into the early morning hours of the 2nd - and hit a $1000 major just before midnight. I didn't take a picture - I was so excited about the win, I forgot all about it - but it was great.
I didn't feel particularly great when I crawled into bed at 2AM but it was very late and I figured I was tired. I wasn't. I woke up (after very odd dreams and feeling 'off' all night while I slept) super sick - throwing up. I despise throwing up. It took until a bit after 10 before I felt like we could try to head home - never more grateful to be only 30 minutes away. Got home, threw up again and spent the rest of the day in bed. Was able to keep some bone broth and water down and was hopeful that was a turning point - and it was. Still not feeling 100% but have been up and downstairs all day today. Paid the bills, got caught up on paperwork, did some dusting and laundry.
I'm determined to make progress on things big and small daily. And that's what's sometimes so hard. It's a strange 'effect' - but since retiring, the little, daily things that happen all the time make me so worried and fretful. It's all the little minutia details - dealing with insurance companies, property management companies, Medicare (with Jim) - just make me feel so worried.
I'm sure it's related to having zero control. Dealing with entities that honestly don't give a shit about their customer service is just so super frustrating. It's making me crazy.
Example:
I noticed when I paid the rent today that on the 'tenant ledger', there was an adjustment for the refund of the $500 deposit we paid to have Chloe live here. (We paid $1500 in pet deposits). We've been trying to get that deposit refunded for a couple months - never imagining it would be a long, drawn out process that's been more frustrating than I can say. The adjustments on our account were made on December 13th - per the 'credit' and debit of $500 on our ledger history. Only problem is: we still haven't received the check. Three weeks later and we don't have the money.
When we sent an inquiry, we got a response that included the ledger - saying 'the refund has been processed'. Um, no, it hasn't. And to make the situation worse: they've now altered our tenancy ledger making it LOOK like we've been refunded - but we haven't. It's maddening. Makes me (more) nauseous. I wish we hadn't brought up a refund because we'd get the deposit back when we vacate the rental - but now, they've made adjustments to our account ledger that misrepresent things since we don't have the cash.
I had a very stressful job for a really long time....and I truly always feel like I deal with 'stress' pretty well. But the stress of all these little minutia details really hits me hard. I'm struggling with a massive amount of feeling overwhelmed about things that are just irritating.
Medicare? Don't get me started. And actually, the Medicare staff have been extraordinary - but the vendors they force people to use for equipment are rip-off artists. More on that later, maybe.
I got a huge 'thing' off my list - made an appointment for a doctor - first available appointment is in April. I said I was fine with waiting IF in the event I have an illness, would someone in the office see me? Because that trip to the Urgent Care in November cost us a fortune out of pocket and I don't want to use Urgent Care as the only option between now and April.
On the house front, the builder's assistant called today and we'll meet with her next week to finalize colors. We'll also make an appointment to finalize lighting fixtures. The house is water tight and there is visible interior progress on a regular basis - even with all the holidays.
I think my best approach to the overwhelm is to dig in and get things dealt with as they come up. J. has done an extraordinary job during all the years I worked and he was retired - he handled all the myriad of details big and small. But now we're both home - and for me, I think being in the thick of it and trying to help is the best thing I can do for my psyche. I HATE dealing with a lot of this stuff....feeling powerless and taken advantage of while people don't give a shit about how inefficient and maddening the process is. It will all (have to) get sorted. And I'm sure it eventually will.
On a high note, H. has a job and starts work on the 6th. It's a gas station job - but it's with a group that owns multiple stations so perhaps he'll end up getting promoted at some point - he likes the work. It's not paying all that much - $10 an hour which is $2 less per hour than California - but heck, we're just glad he's got a source of income.
Happy 2020! Here's to steps forward, big and small.
1 comment:
Play Me!
J
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