While at the vet, they tried to do a urinalysis and realized there was some sort of blockage. Xrays confirmed a very large bladder stone. Only option was surgery. They also discovered that one of her vertebrae was off and was likely causing her pain. The vet agreed that we were looking at quality of life issues - so we planned to bring her back on Thursday to be euthanized. We decided we'd let the boys know, do some Facetime with them and spoil Chloe rotten for another couple days.
J. took the cats for their vaccine boosters at 1:30 - everything went smoothly.
In the mean time, something was clearly off with Chloe. She could barely stand - her feet would slip out from under her body. She was standing perfectly still as if she couldn't move - possibly (likely) in pain. We phoned the vet back to inquire and J. took her back in. We agreed to move forward with euthanasia then instead of waiting. She was clearly suffering - and it felt like she was telling us it was OK.
We called the boys later that day and of course, they were both sad and upset. She was a love of a dog and I'm sure they both would have liked to love on her some more before. But we feel like we did the right thing - seeing her barely able to move - it was very hard.
We quickly realized how quiet the house was shortly after J. returned from the airport on Sunday. He and H. had an emotional goodbye - and H. was winging his way to his new town. We checked in with him Monday and Tuesday and he was 'fine'. That's what he said. Only he wasn't.
On Wednesday morning, his friend J. took H. to the ER near their home - H. was so dehydrated, he couldn't feel his hands or feet and J. had to help H. walk to the car and get into the ER. Around noon our time, a doctor from the hospital phoned us - I answered the phone and they asked for J. - he was in the shower so I said 'I am his wife - is this about H.'? It was. The doctor asked me to tell him about H.'s history - H. had filled him in on the cancer diagnosis, his drug use and his history. The doctor asked me if there were any other addiction issues or medical issues or diagnosis that H. might not have said - and I stated no. I did tell the doctor that H. was stating he had been clean and sober for 18 months wasn't quite accurate.
H. was diagnosed with a compressed duodenum which resulted in an intestinal blockage. Once he got fluids, he felt better - and they were able to get the vomiting under control. They didn't let him eat because surgery was possible. He had a rough Wednesday but was better on Thursday morning - and they let him go home. (We're pretty sure if he had private insurance they would have kept him longer?).
The duodenum is between two major blood vessels - the aorta and the superior mesenteric artery (SMA). It is usually cushioned effectively by fat - which keeps the duodenum open and positioned between the two blood vessels. It's possible that H.'s continued issue with keeping weight on resulted in a lack of the fat cushion which in turn created the compression. A slight narrowing is what the doctor described but clearly - it was not slight for the day that H. started throwing up everything he ate or drank. He had stomach stuff happening the week before he left - but we thought it was likely just stress about the move. There is a very rare 'syndrome' of a compressed duodenum though the doctors (apparently) didn't mention that to H. . Again, possibly related to him not having insurance. That syndrome has 'wasting' as one of it's symptoms and that really describes H.'s inability to put on weight. Sure, we know some of the weight loss was related to drug use - but he's been clean for quite a while and still struggling to add weight to his very lean, tall frame.
His first week in Texas hasn't been great. He is home, able to eat, says he's doing OK and I sure hope that's accurate. He knows to eat small meals six times a day, consumer plenty of water and other liquids (emphasis on water) and to never let it go that long again if a possible blockage is happening.
Today, he confirmed he's homesick, missing us very much. I'm sure he feels as uncertain and unsure about this big move. Cypress is a Houston suburb but there is absolutely NO public transportation and everything is very spread out. He's heading to the DMV on Monday and if/when he gets a drivers license, we'll figure out what to do - he will likely need a car. First priority is a job. Trying to coach him to 'chunk things up'. Focus on something you CAN do instead of fretting about the things you can't - so for example, maybe do a Google map search of a 2 mile radius from the house and find places you could possibly work and use a bike to get there.
I'm struggling more than I like to admit because I worry so much about him being there - if he is in a place where the people around him are doing everything they can to help him, great. But if he's in a place where he can stay there with people urging him to be on his own in a very short window, that will be very hard for him. I'm not sure (actually pretty sure they don't) understand his addiction and mental health issues and how hard those things are on him in terms of any kind of change. And then I think 'he's 26 years old, Majah. He's got to pull it together and get through it'. If H. were B., I wouldn't worry a bit - because B. hasn't had issues that make moving forward on your own hard. H. said today (on the phone) 'in a month, if I don't have a license and don't have a job, then I'm doing something wrong'. Which is true. Because there are plenty of jobs out there. But that statement felt like it is something someone there said to him vs. something he would say to himself. And that kind of pressure is something H. has never handled well.
When I crawl into bed nightly and pull the warm covers up and get snuggly, I take a couple deep breaths, ask God to watch over both my kids (and a host of other people) and ask Him take a special interest in H. at the moment...and then I try to let it go - it's super hard but I'm trying. We can support and encourage him as much as possible but he has to make all these things happen on his own. He's an adult and he needs to adult.
Because of H. being sick, J. and I moved our departure for Nevada from today to Sunday morning - we will trek up with two fully loaded cars, drop stuff off at the town house and then have Monday up there as well. This will be the LAST round trip we'll be making as residents of California and I am super happy and excited about that. Today, I worked on packing the kitchen - threw out so much food but decided there's no point in keeping things that are super old, small amounts of things aren't worth moving (example: a bottle of red wine vinegar with less than a cup in it). We're going to head to Winco when we get up there and restock pantry staples and plan to shop weekly. I've told J. that I truly don't want to buy much at Costco - if we need canned chicken, get one or two small cans instead of 10 humongous cans. We wasted a lot of food and I don't want to do that as we enter this next phase of our lives.
We scheduled the City of Tracy once a year pickup for a week from today - we have the couch which we can't get anyone to take (even on the curb with a free sign, no one wants it). And likely some other trash items - we can have up to 10 32 gal. bags of trash also picked up - we won't have anywhere near that amount since we've been working on this move for well over a year now.
Leaving Tracy feels hard sometimes...I miss my friends already. But J. and I are really excited about our new home. New adventures. More (new) friends.
Today, he confirmed he's homesick, missing us very much. I'm sure he feels as uncertain and unsure about this big move. Cypress is a Houston suburb but there is absolutely NO public transportation and everything is very spread out. He's heading to the DMV on Monday and if/when he gets a drivers license, we'll figure out what to do - he will likely need a car. First priority is a job. Trying to coach him to 'chunk things up'. Focus on something you CAN do instead of fretting about the things you can't - so for example, maybe do a Google map search of a 2 mile radius from the house and find places you could possibly work and use a bike to get there.
I'm struggling more than I like to admit because I worry so much about him being there - if he is in a place where the people around him are doing everything they can to help him, great. But if he's in a place where he can stay there with people urging him to be on his own in a very short window, that will be very hard for him. I'm not sure (actually pretty sure they don't) understand his addiction and mental health issues and how hard those things are on him in terms of any kind of change. And then I think 'he's 26 years old, Majah. He's got to pull it together and get through it'. If H. were B., I wouldn't worry a bit - because B. hasn't had issues that make moving forward on your own hard. H. said today (on the phone) 'in a month, if I don't have a license and don't have a job, then I'm doing something wrong'. Which is true. Because there are plenty of jobs out there. But that statement felt like it is something someone there said to him vs. something he would say to himself. And that kind of pressure is something H. has never handled well.
When I crawl into bed nightly and pull the warm covers up and get snuggly, I take a couple deep breaths, ask God to watch over both my kids (and a host of other people) and ask Him take a special interest in H. at the moment...and then I try to let it go - it's super hard but I'm trying. We can support and encourage him as much as possible but he has to make all these things happen on his own. He's an adult and he needs to adult.
Because of H. being sick, J. and I moved our departure for Nevada from today to Sunday morning - we will trek up with two fully loaded cars, drop stuff off at the town house and then have Monday up there as well. This will be the LAST round trip we'll be making as residents of California and I am super happy and excited about that. Today, I worked on packing the kitchen - threw out so much food but decided there's no point in keeping things that are super old, small amounts of things aren't worth moving (example: a bottle of red wine vinegar with less than a cup in it). We're going to head to Winco when we get up there and restock pantry staples and plan to shop weekly. I've told J. that I truly don't want to buy much at Costco - if we need canned chicken, get one or two small cans instead of 10 humongous cans. We wasted a lot of food and I don't want to do that as we enter this next phase of our lives.
We scheduled the City of Tracy once a year pickup for a week from today - we have the couch which we can't get anyone to take (even on the curb with a free sign, no one wants it). And likely some other trash items - we can have up to 10 32 gal. bags of trash also picked up - we won't have anywhere near that amount since we've been working on this move for well over a year now.
Leaving Tracy feels hard sometimes...I miss my friends already. But J. and I are really excited about our new home. New adventures. More (new) friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment