BFF

My BFF (Best Friend Forever) J. reached out via email yesterday - so happy to see another post.  I was happy to know that people out there are still reading?  During the chaos of the past few months, I thought to call her a zillion times but I would start the conversation with?  "Hi.  My son is a heroin addict.  He and his also addicted girlfriend lived with us for five months.  Her dad knew but didn't tell us when we invited them to move in with us".  What a great way to reconnect?

But as always - she is my rock.  Her friendship has seen me through some of my hardest days - losing my mom.  Losing my job.  Finding myself in a new line of work that is more rewarding than I ever imagined.  Everything happens for a reason.  Everything.

We have dinner planned for a week from tonight and I can't wait to see her!

Up early this morning to head out to Sacramento for two nights - work conference.  It seemed like a great idea to go way back when but now?  No, I'm really not feeling it but I am going. It's also our admin 'retreat' and I can't miss that, no matter how much my social anxiety is kicking up.  I can get through the long days of soaking up new information just fine but the social stuff in the evenings?  Super hard to pretend I'm thrilled about going bowling.  I probably won't be able to move tomorrow. 

J. and his brother B. (both of J.'s brothers have the initial B.) are also heading towards Sacramento for two days of golf.  Spending the night up there tonight and home late tomorrow.  J. and I are meeting in Auburn on Thursday afternoon (after my conference is over) and heading up to CC to meet with the builder on Friday morning.  Super excited.  We've started making lists of wants and questions.  I've been looking at design ideas online every chance I get. 

Last night as we were tidying up the kitchen, J.'s brother asked 'so M., when are you planning to retire' and I said without hesitation '20 months'.  And J. said 'her being able to name a date just happened'.  And I realized 'wow, yes.  I can officially name a date'. 

I told J. last night before bed 'I look around this house and all this stuff to deal with and I just feel overwhelmed and exhausted'.  He said 'we have some time'.  We're going to have to put our butts in gear daily/weekly to make headway on this stuff.  We will have lived in this house 19 years when we move out and that's a long time to accumulate a ton of stuff.  But we will get there.  One day at a time.

Off to the races.