Not Intended

Weekly posts are not the intent.  Drafts in progress and then things intervene - or I just don't feel like posting whatever I just thought I wanted to share.  Could happen instantly.  Sometimes takes a day or two.  Mulling is my life these days.  So much to mull.

Second to the last Friday off and enjoyed a three day weekend doing not much at all.  Why am I so tired?  No.  I mean really, really tired.  Not ordinarily tired.  It's probably post-vacation let down. And/or I miss my old boss.  It's like the life is sucked out of us - and not that our new boss isn't going to be fine.  I'm pretty sure he is.  It just feels so hard right now.  Everything is impossibly hard.

I think it's sucked the energy out of me.

I made a delicious blueberry smoothie for breakfast this morning.  Maybe it's getting back on the 'clean eating' track that's zapped my energy.  Lack of sugar could be part of it.  I'm back to avoiding processed foods, sugar and dairy.  Resorting to that 'cuz I feel so awful these days that I have to try something - anything.

Oh! - we had quite a bit of excitement on Saturday morning.  I was sitting here at my desk and I saw something walking along the patio.  It was a skunk!! He was small - a young one - which only made it worse 'cuz I think 'where are his parents?  Siblings?  How many are there of you and your kind?'.  He wandered around - clearly looking for a way out.  He disappeared in the far side yard.  H. saw him again last night out front - making a nice resting place in the ground cover in the front side yard.  We are his hotel, I think.  I am less than enthused.

It does explain why the dog has been frantic about running around every square inch of the yard. She's been running around the pool, up behind the pool....sniffing like crazy.  Now we know why.

I am stocking up on tomato juice - though J. says 'we're OK.  We have a whole case of V-8 in the garage'.  Um...OK.  I guess that will work.

I am mailing the deposit check for next year in Playa.  I feel uneasy about doing it.  I don't know why. Maybe it's the money.  We shouldn't spend it, really.  But then I think 'screw it.  It's money.  I can earn more.  And I can't work this hard for 13 more years or so without some incentive.  Some amazingly relaxing trip that makes it all worth it.  14 days next year - 12 days there and two travel days on either side.

I think I've just figured out why I feel uneasy about it.  I've been back at work a week - and it's like the vacation never happened.  Except for one last mosquito bite still healing - oh, and FYI - this year, I used Benadryl cream on every bite immediately - and absolutely did not scratch.  The bites still look awful - and they heal very slowly - but they were manageable this year.  Much better than year's past - OK - so back to my angst.  It's like vacation is already not even a memory - it's just gone.  Vaporized.  Yes, it was awesome - and someone yesterday commented 'you're so tan!' so there's evidence it was awesome.  But it's over.  So over.  It goes so quickly.

Maybe I have buyer's remorse - which makes sending off another significant check for next year a little harder.

Oh well.  I'm still mailing the check.