Incarcerated

A week ago yesterday, we found out H. was in custody for possession of a controlled substance.  We were notified in the form of many calls from bail bonding agencies across Houston all inquiring if we planned to post bond.  We declined every time.  Even the guy who said 'let's see if we can help young H., OK?'.  Um, he's a grown ass man, not a child so....no.  Once you say no, the calls end quickly.  And once they've updated the system that sends out H.'s info to every bond company in the area to say family isn't posting bond, they (finally) stop calling.  

It's been a long week of unraveling what information we can gather from the charges we see online.  We know it was possession of less than one gram - which is good because the penalties are much bigger as the amount of the substance in their possession increases - and that he was actually (also) arrested and charged with the same offense in March, 2022.  The judge let him out on a 'personal bond' - his verbal promise to appear.  He didn't.  So that's a third charge pending as well.  

His first court appearance was this past Monday and we saw the next court appearance updated to August 30th.  

Pondering takes a lot of energy and my overwhelming response to all of this has been significant exhaustion to the point of lacking inertia.  I'm not staying in bed but I sure think about it.  

We've had calls from the jail repeatedly.  We've missed them - so we end up with a voicemail basically telling us not do do any (ANY) *xxx replies on our phone as those will forward our phone to a third party who will then be able to charge us anything they want.  

We wondered 'is H. initiating those calls?' and today, we confirmed he was.  J. finally 'caught' a call live and the first words are 'this is a free call from [H. saying his name].  Then it goes through the very long 'disclaimer' we've been receiving as voicemails over and over - and he missed 'push 1 to accept the call'.  Luckily, H. called back on my phone and we finally connected.  

He is OK.  In a cell block ('room') with 23 other inmates.  

I want to write more details about the call so I will remember them but I'm not going to - because honestly, we don't know truth vs. not truth.  And he had his usual grandiose plans - since he did a forced detox, he's 'clean and sober' - and we believe it so far but no way to know if he will stay that way.  He talked about all the people he knows who will give him a job once he's clean and sober - and we pondered 'how will you contact these people with no phone?  How will you get to/from work with no car'.  We didn't ask those things because we had 20 minutes....but we sure pondered them after the call.  

He is going to call us again - he gets two free calls each weekend so he will use his second call to call tomorrow.  He wanted to call back later today but we aren't home later today and I don't want to be conversing with him as I'm sitting with a bunch of other people.  We have an Atlantis dinner tonight and are heading to Reno a bit early to play a smidge.  

It's tomorrow and he didn't call.  We requested he call at a specific time to ensure we'd both be home and able to talk to him together.  The time came and went and the lump in my throat grew bigger with every passing minute.  I thought maybe he got the times confused - so when 3PM our time came and went (our call was planned for 1PM our time), the lump in my throat was huge.  All the memories of this time last year when he basically started ghosting us after weeks of nothing he committed to doing actually happening came flooding back.  I don't want back on that roller coaster - waiting for contact, listening to (false) promises.  

He didn't sound like himself, really.  Using phraseology and strange verb tenses that I guess come from living on the street and adapting to different dialects and backgrounds.  

So....maybe we will hear from him again this coming weekend.  Or some day this upcoming week.  No way to know.  I make sure both of our phones are on and with us and we'll see.  

We feel relief to know H. is alive - it had been six months since our last contact with him and with every day that passed, it was harder and harder to deal with the lack of contact.  Glad to know he has a roof over his head, three meals a day and a mattress (of sorts) to sleep on nightly.  And something remotely resembling climate control. 

B. arrives on Thursday for a couple weeks.  He's been off for two weeks already - visited DC with his best friend.  He was hoping to get to North Carolina to see another friend but they couldn't work out the timing so he's doing a few days of stay-cation at his apartment.  He will travel to Livermore over Labor Day weekend to spend time with friends and we will hang out with him and do whatever he wants to do.  Maybe a trip to Tahoe for lunch.  Definitely Atlantis Steakhouse one night because it's a family fave and is always epic.  

I have successfully started a sourdough starter and am so close to being able to bake bread!  I can't quite figure out the 'feeding' part.  I mean, I am feeding the starter and it is successfully growing by leaps and bounds.  But when you remove only about 1/2 cup of the active starter and feed that amount again, you don't have enough to make a loaf of bread?  They discard the rest of the starter - but really?  Why can't I just use a huge (HUGE) bowl with a lid to grow enough for bread ASAP?  

I made something called Sourdough Pikelets with the discard this morning and they were incredibly delicious!  Like pancakes, only lighter and fluffier in the middle and slightly crispy on the outside.  I added some grated cheese to the batter for a touch of savory and we ate them with maple syrup - a great mix of sweet and salty.  DELICIOUS!!  Also baked some chocolate chip cookies using the starter discard and they are OK.  Not the best but edible.  

I will do a lot of reading tomorrow while J. is at his monthly golf group meeting/lunch and try to figure out how to get enough starter to start baking.