Contact

Waking up, reaching for my phone on the nightstand.  Seeing a text from a number I don't know.  'I love you'.  Just that.  Thinking it's some sort of phishing scheme.  

I open up the messages and see 'Hey mom' - then 'I love you'.  

And a missed call from the same number.  

It's H. .  Listened to his voicemail.  Hard to understand and/or hear.   "Hey mom it's me...I love you so much and I miss you guys so much and I hope to talk to you soon love you bye".  That's the gist.  He was emotional.  

I texted back and called back.  Left message.  

My phone is on silent and 'do not disturb' until 9AM so I never heard the phone ring.  Realized I missed another call from him while the phone was in my hand - but we finally connected.  

I'm not going to go into details about the call - mostly because it felt like a gobbly-gook mess of things.  I let him do most of the talking.  "Just better to not be in touch.  I was in a really bad place".  He realized we knew a lot more than he thought when he lied about something and I said 'stop, I know that's a lie'.  He seemed surprised.  (There's more detail but I'm skipping it).  

He talked about how he wanted to get out of Texas and go back 'home' (to California).  I asked him why he thought California would be best - mainly because he has friends there.  He has friends in Texas, too, I surmise but I suspect he feels there are more people in California willing to help him than currently in Texas.  

He never asked for anything.  Not money, not help.  So in some ways, that is a positive change.  He said his wallet and license were stolen along with his phone.  (I don't know when the phone was stolen - if it was one of the two phones he had from our cell account or still another phone?  No idea.  And didn't go there 'cuz what difference would nailing that down make?).  

It was great to hear from him.  But the cynic in me ponders if he thought 'after five months of ghosting them, they'll be ready and willing to do anything to help me'.  And that wasn't how it turned out.  We did contact Salvation Army Rehab program in Houston and sent information to H. about how to get treatment there.  First task is to get a new ID because they can't provide services to someone without identification.  And a new ID would also be required for him to get on a plane to California.  Maybe not required to buy a bus ticket - but we didn't offer to assist with any travel arrangements. 

Pretty sure that's not on H.'s list of things to do.  We provided 'help' in the form of 'help yourself and get set up to get there, find someone to take you and enter the program'.  Helping himself doesn't seem to be his way.  

One week later - I've kept this post in draft form for a while but realize February is quickly fleeting.  Appear to be back on H.'s 'no contact' list.  Not that we were expecting (or really even wanted) daily contact.  I know that might sound harsh and I don't mean it to - love is forever.  We are always here for him to talk to and hearing from him is always better than not hearing from him.  But truthfully, there's not much to say.  No point in going over the incredible list of tall tales he's told in the last year.  No reason to dissect every conversation.  Which makes frequent calls sort of 'um, what do we say'?  We would say the same things we said this past week - we love you, we care about you, we are always glad to hear from you, it is wonderful to hear your voice after such a long time.  All true.  Forever and always. 

In other news, B. is facing likely deployment to Europe - unless Putin stops threatening to invade Ukraine, it seems likely B. will be going.  That will be a long radio silence as they are prohibited from taking any electronic devices of any kind.  No phone, no computer, no radio.  Nothing.  We will correspond via letters like the days of Basic Training.  Coincidentally, it was 9 years ago around this time when he was in Basic Training - I just found some of those letters in a box of documents I was sorting through - re-reading them was wonderful.  

Days are busy doing whatever.  I slept in until close to 9AM this morning which means it's been an incredibly quick day.  We had to put the Adirondack chairs back where they belong after another windstorm blew them six feet and into the wrought iron fence.  And just as we came in from getting them re-situated looking up the hill, J. informed me there's another high wind storm heading our way.  Drat!  We're going to move them inside the garage for a few days.