Rebuilding a Life

H. moved up five slots on the seniority list of the Arco where he works.  Seems people just stop showing up pretty often - and they lost a lot of people recently.  H. has been getting tons of hours which is great - even had a 12 hour day this week and appreciated the over time. 

Today, he works 1PM to 10PM and yesterday he worked 5PM to 2AM.  The store is staffed with 3 people 24/7.  I worry about him walking home on the late shifts but thankfully, the street now has sidewalks all the way from Arco to home so he should be OK.  Not that long ago, he would be walking on a dark two lane street - but there's been some improvements in the neighborhood which is great.  It's a well-traveled road and is much safer with sidewalks. 

His one day off this week is Saturday - and he will be leaving the house (with J.) at 5AM to get to San Mateo - he will serve a community service day on Saturday - his one and only, we think.  He received credit for one for showing up on time last week to sign up for the service day.  J. will play golf at a nearby course and pick up H. when he's done.  It's an 8 hour day - but they are working in a park so it's likely that they will finish before 8 hours - hopefully.

In addition to the community service, he's attending a class and when the class is finished, he'll do counseling.  He's on track to have all the requirements of his 'sentence' completed by late September. 

While I still have days when I ponder all the things that happened and worry that he's not being truthful, for the most part, I can see that he's sticking to the plans.  He's as helpful as he can possibly be - is happy to do anything we ask and doesn't give a bit of attitude about any requests we make.  Sure, he's still inept and negligent at times about dishes and stuff like that - and those things irritate me.  But it's clear it's just him not thinking vs. him being too stoned to give a crap.  He's busy and when he's working so many hours, he comes home tired and ready to veg.  He's like his mama so I get that. 

He's eating regularly, looks a zillion times healthier than he did this time last year and is in good spirits most of the time. 

He's spending very little money - doesn't go out much with friends spending money.  If he goes to a meeting in Modesto, the group goes out for tacos after - but mostly, he doesn't spend much.  He's saving for the trip to Houston. 

For now, we're moving all the items he had when he lived in the apartment here in town.  When he's ready for them, we'll ship them to him in Houston - but he's months away from affording his own place.  He has to get there, get settled and find work before he can even consider getting a place on his own.  The friends he will be living with have assured him - plenty of room and no timeline pressure - so he should be able to find work and start saving. 

I have moments when I think 'he could come with us to Carson City'....but I don't honestly think that's a good thing for any of us.  He needs to be on his own which will force him to get by on his own.  And we need to be officially done with raising kids.  Even kids in their late 20's take a lot of work and we're ready to STOP.