I am heading out the door shortly to attempt to surprise a friend on her 50th birthday! If I'm successful, she will wake up and find a balloon bouquet surrounded by 50 potted flowers on her front lawn. Oh! and a yard sign announcing it's her 50th. Then, I'm going to return around 6:45ish to pick her up and take her to breakfast before we both go to work. Hope I can pull it off. I wouldn't have stood a chance if my wonderful hubby hadn't run errands for me last night. After arriving at work at 6:30AM, I worked until 4:30ish, the headed home for a very quick stop here before heading out to a work-related meeting that lasted until 7:30ish. I ate dinner at 8! And had heartburn all night as a bonus. I need to get home and eat at a reasonable hour when I have those late evening meetings. Thanks, J., for running all those errands for me last night - and for supervising the repair/construction projects done yesterday - we finally fixed the dry wall in the garage from the leaking pipe - and fixed a shower leak and the hole in the dining room ceiling that they opened up to see where the leak was coming from. Hopefully, we are drip-free for a little bit.
Though there's water coming out of one of the A/C registers in the laundry room - another thing that we need to have checked that will probably cost us a small fortune. It's a 10 year old house, now....it's showing it's wear a bit these days.
I have hardly seen the kids - and when I have seen them, they are making me crazy. Crazier. After the meeting last night, I walked in and found two full-shoe muddy footprints on the carpet. I'm not just talking tiny spots on the carpet - I'm talking big-foot-esque full shoe muddy prints, complete with dirt stuck to the carpet. Yes, the same carpet we've paid a fortune to have cleaned repeatedly lately. They are oblivious - and of course, the culprit blamed his brother until we proved it was not his brother. Then he says 'well, I never walk through the muddy spot on the front lawn so I don't know where it came from'. All evidence to the contrary.....I gave the same 'order' I give all the time: take off your shoes in the entry way. You are oblivious to what you are tracking in so simply do not wear shoes on the carpet! Period.
I'd better go.....wish me luck. I could end up soaking wet from her lawn sprinklers. Or she could send the dog out after the 'intruder' on her front lawn. Luckily, her dog (Mia) is older and as slow moving as a dog can be. I can out run her. I hope.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Sunday Dinner
About a month ago, we started a family dinner night. We have a sit-down dinner every Sunday - and H. helps me cook. J. helps, too.... I try a new recipe every week and see how everyone reacts. Tonight was Chicken Scallopini - sauteed chicken in a mushroom-y cream sauce on fettuccine.
The weeklyordeal tradition is fun. I plan the meal carefully and usually pick up any missing 'supplies' that day. It's supposed to be a time for H. and I to spend time together - and this whole ordeal idea was H.'s - a way to have dedicated family time where we all sit down together and talk about our week - either the week we just finished or the week we are about to start. Our dining room gets used every week, which is great 'cuz it's the least used room in the house. We don't do the 'fancy china' every week -
It's fun - though it has it's ups and downs. The boys sometimes argue over the stupidest things - and once an argument starts, it's silence all around.....which is OK 'cuz at least if there's silence, they're not going at each other for some ridiculous slight - real or perceived.
The first few weeks, I made fancy desserts. Tonight, I offered fresh pineapple - which they were not interested in. If I hadn't worked all day, I would have made brownies. Maybe next week....
My only complaint is that by the time I finish cooking the meal, I'm no longer hungry. It's not 'cuz I'm 'tasting' as I go - I don't. I just have very little appetite for what I have just created for some reason. Oh well - maybe cooking for my family is a new dieting method? I have actually lost a couple pounds since we started our weekly gatherings.
OK - here's a bunch of miscellaneous stuff I've been meaning to mention:
1) Is there some policy or an unwritten rule that requires that all Trader Joe's parking lots are a freaking nightmare? We've been going to the store in Berkeley on occasion (since we're in that neighborhood a couple nights a week) and the parking lot there is as scary as every other TJ's parking lot I've ever been in. It sort of makes me want to avoid going there - but I love TJ's. Who doesn't? There's even a Facebook group trying to get one in Tracy - which would be lovely. In fact, across the street from our neighborhood, is a for sale sign offering the vacant land for a 'shopping center' - and TJ's would be perfect there!! I could walk - and avoid the parking nightmare!
2) The new "This Week" with Christiane Amanpour is just not my cup of tea. I miss George. I am glad she still has the 'Roundtable' segment - but everything else feels like it's her own private 60 Minutes or Dateline - and it just isn't providing the same level of 'caring' as when George was at the helm. I love her - have always loved her - but in this format, she's falling flat - at least for me. We still watch it religiously - but so far, I'm not enjoying it much.
3) We've been attempting to watch Pillars of the Earth - had seen the previews for this mini-series at the movies awhile back - and we stumbled across it one evening as we were channel surfing. J. was hugely excited because it turns out it's one of his all time favorite books. In fact, the book was sitting on the shelf next to his desk - so he pulled it off the shelf and I used it as reference.
Here's the thing: I don't really enjoy movies if I don't know how it turns out. I most especially don't enjoy movies full of a lot of violence, death and mayhem - and while I am absolutely enthralled and loving the movie, the violence is hard on me.
So I try to read ahead - and can tell you that the movie does not follow the book very well. I'd never picked up the book ever in my life - but within 8 minutes, I knew that they made (significant) changes to the sequencing of some of the events. So that makes me reading ahead to figure out what comes next a bit challenging. It has compelling characters and a good story - and I'm sticking with it. But I've got J. watching ahead now - so he can mute the TV when someone is about to be be-headed. Which happens a lot. Wow, those were rough times....
4) I had a physical this week. I'm sure my doctor will be charging my insurance company a fortune for this physical - but he literally spent about 15 minutes with me. All of my 'complaints' were answered with 'so let's get some blood work done and we'll see what it looks like and then we'll come up with a plan'. So 6 tubes of blood later, I was done - after waiting over an hour to see him (and I was his very first appointment).....crazy.
I do seem to be relatively healthy, considering my age and my 'out of shape/overweight' status. So I'm hoping the blood work comes back normal....still waiting for the results.
I also had a TB test (required for work) and went to get it checked on Friday. Had to be the doctor that read the test - and they were so packed (I have NEVER seen the office and parking lot so full), they stuck me in a store-room like room, with a piece of paper clipped to the door stating 'read PPD'. I don't think the doctor would have even remember to go to that room - except I was standing in the doorway when he cruised by - so he stopped and took care of reading my non-positive test.
I love my doctor - love him to pieces. But wow - this week's 'service' leaves a lot to be desired. On a good note, though - it's a reminder that even when you're pretty sure you are not healthy; even when you feel unhealthy; even when your symptoms are somewhat scary (at times) and a problem (sometimes) - it's all about what your blood work shows. If something is wrong, your blood will show it - so if my blood work is good, then I'm good! Simple! Yes, room for improvement - but at least I know if my blood is OK, I'm 'good'. Relatively speaking.
5) I've been working a lot of weekends again - it's year-end. My job never ends. Oh well. Good job security. I am finding it easier to get up on weekend mornings and head to work (at a leisurely late 10AM-ish, depending on how many cups of coffee I need/want and/or who's available to chat on Facebook) knowing that I can swing by our brand new McDonald's and get a hot cakes and sausage breakfast with a huge iced tea! Reminds me of when the kids were little and that was a special treat - to go to McD's for breakfast was a family tradition back then. Mainly 'cuz I couldn't stand to be in our condo - and therefore found any excuse to leave it as often as possible. I love pancakes!!
H. started his new school last week - he finished one class in a day (it was the 'learning online' class which is required). He was so excited. He's now working on English 4A (senior English) and is a bit disgruntled to see/realize that it won't go quite as quickly....reading a book, taking notes, quizzes, etc. is a lot more work than the 'online learning' class was. Still, he's doing well and is focused and sticking with the schedule. The first day, he took Chloe for a long walk as his hour of PE - and when they got home, she was so hot and exhausted, I was actually kind of scared that she was having a heat stroke. I have never seen her tongue sooooo long before - it was hanging all the way out of her mouth and when she keeled over on her side on the tile floor, she left her tongue hanging out about 3 inches - laying there on the tile while she panted like crazy. She was one pooped dog....and she stayed quiet and resting most of the remainder of the day. Hopefully, she'll get more used to walking - and it won't be quite as warm. H. took really good care of her - gave her water while they were out and kept an eye on her when they got home. She cooled off pretty quickly - she needs a haircut! She's a furry beast which doesn't help.
That's it for now - time for bed! Hoping for a great week - there's been a fair amount of drama at work these days and I dread drama. I just lie low and work, work, work....which makes having mountains to do a good thing!
The weekly
It's fun - though it has it's ups and downs. The boys sometimes argue over the stupidest things - and once an argument starts, it's silence all around.....which is OK 'cuz at least if there's silence, they're not going at each other for some ridiculous slight - real or perceived.
The first few weeks, I made fancy desserts. Tonight, I offered fresh pineapple - which they were not interested in. If I hadn't worked all day, I would have made brownies. Maybe next week....
My only complaint is that by the time I finish cooking the meal, I'm no longer hungry. It's not 'cuz I'm 'tasting' as I go - I don't. I just have very little appetite for what I have just created for some reason. Oh well - maybe cooking for my family is a new dieting method? I have actually lost a couple pounds since we started our weekly gatherings.
OK - here's a bunch of miscellaneous stuff I've been meaning to mention:
1) Is there some policy or an unwritten rule that requires that all Trader Joe's parking lots are a freaking nightmare? We've been going to the store in Berkeley on occasion (since we're in that neighborhood a couple nights a week) and the parking lot there is as scary as every other TJ's parking lot I've ever been in. It sort of makes me want to avoid going there - but I love TJ's. Who doesn't? There's even a Facebook group trying to get one in Tracy - which would be lovely. In fact, across the street from our neighborhood, is a for sale sign offering the vacant land for a 'shopping center' - and TJ's would be perfect there!! I could walk - and avoid the parking nightmare!
2) The new "This Week" with Christiane Amanpour is just not my cup of tea. I miss George. I am glad she still has the 'Roundtable' segment - but everything else feels like it's her own private 60 Minutes or Dateline - and it just isn't providing the same level of 'caring' as when George was at the helm. I love her - have always loved her - but in this format, she's falling flat - at least for me. We still watch it religiously - but so far, I'm not enjoying it much.
3) We've been attempting to watch Pillars of the Earth - had seen the previews for this mini-series at the movies awhile back - and we stumbled across it one evening as we were channel surfing. J. was hugely excited because it turns out it's one of his all time favorite books. In fact, the book was sitting on the shelf next to his desk - so he pulled it off the shelf and I used it as reference.
Here's the thing: I don't really enjoy movies if I don't know how it turns out. I most especially don't enjoy movies full of a lot of violence, death and mayhem - and while I am absolutely enthralled and loving the movie, the violence is hard on me.
So I try to read ahead - and can tell you that the movie does not follow the book very well. I'd never picked up the book ever in my life - but within 8 minutes, I knew that they made (significant) changes to the sequencing of some of the events. So that makes me reading ahead to figure out what comes next a bit challenging. It has compelling characters and a good story - and I'm sticking with it. But I've got J. watching ahead now - so he can mute the TV when someone is about to be be-headed. Which happens a lot. Wow, those were rough times....
4) I had a physical this week. I'm sure my doctor will be charging my insurance company a fortune for this physical - but he literally spent about 15 minutes with me. All of my 'complaints' were answered with 'so let's get some blood work done and we'll see what it looks like and then we'll come up with a plan'. So 6 tubes of blood later, I was done - after waiting over an hour to see him (and I was his very first appointment).....crazy.
I do seem to be relatively healthy, considering my age and my 'out of shape/overweight' status. So I'm hoping the blood work comes back normal....still waiting for the results.
I also had a TB test (required for work) and went to get it checked on Friday. Had to be the doctor that read the test - and they were so packed (I have NEVER seen the office and parking lot so full), they stuck me in a store-room like room, with a piece of paper clipped to the door stating 'read PPD'. I don't think the doctor would have even remember to go to that room - except I was standing in the doorway when he cruised by - so he stopped and took care of reading my non-positive test.
I love my doctor - love him to pieces. But wow - this week's 'service' leaves a lot to be desired. On a good note, though - it's a reminder that even when you're pretty sure you are not healthy; even when you feel unhealthy; even when your symptoms are somewhat scary (at times) and a problem (sometimes) - it's all about what your blood work shows. If something is wrong, your blood will show it - so if my blood work is good, then I'm good! Simple! Yes, room for improvement - but at least I know if my blood is OK, I'm 'good'. Relatively speaking.
5) I've been working a lot of weekends again - it's year-end. My job never ends. Oh well. Good job security. I am finding it easier to get up on weekend mornings and head to work (at a leisurely late 10AM-ish, depending on how many cups of coffee I need/want and/or who's available to chat on Facebook) knowing that I can swing by our brand new McDonald's and get a hot cakes and sausage breakfast with a huge iced tea! Reminds me of when the kids were little and that was a special treat - to go to McD's for breakfast was a family tradition back then. Mainly 'cuz I couldn't stand to be in our condo - and therefore found any excuse to leave it as often as possible. I love pancakes!!
H. started his new school last week - he finished one class in a day (it was the 'learning online' class which is required). He was so excited. He's now working on English 4A (senior English) and is a bit disgruntled to see/realize that it won't go quite as quickly....reading a book, taking notes, quizzes, etc. is a lot more work than the 'online learning' class was. Still, he's doing well and is focused and sticking with the schedule. The first day, he took Chloe for a long walk as his hour of PE - and when they got home, she was so hot and exhausted, I was actually kind of scared that she was having a heat stroke. I have never seen her tongue sooooo long before - it was hanging all the way out of her mouth and when she keeled over on her side on the tile floor, she left her tongue hanging out about 3 inches - laying there on the tile while she panted like crazy. She was one pooped dog....and she stayed quiet and resting most of the remainder of the day. Hopefully, she'll get more used to walking - and it won't be quite as warm. H. took really good care of her - gave her water while they were out and kept an eye on her when they got home. She cooled off pretty quickly - she needs a haircut! She's a furry beast which doesn't help.
That's it for now - time for bed! Hoping for a great week - there's been a fair amount of drama at work these days and I dread drama. I just lie low and work, work, work....which makes having mountains to do a good thing!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Magical
Added the last of my heated milk to my coffee this morning - and this is what that pour created. This is not staged - just poured it in and there it was.....
I took it as a sign that it was going to be a great day. And it was......
Last night, I phoned my credit card company and asked for my Disney Reward to be issued. I've had the Disney co-branded card for years and use it sporadically - it's taken a LONG TIME but I now have $185 to use for Disney merchandise, or theme parks. We're planning to go to Disneyland for the parks 55th anniversary in November - at least that's where we stand so far. Should we spend the money? No, we should not. Will I pay off the trip the month we take it? No, probably not - thus breaking one of our 'house rules'. But oh well. It has been a very hard year in our home - and we could all use a little magic! So take that, darn financial house rules! I'm going into debt to keep my sanity and if J. gets laid off any time soon (which is highly unlikely but who knows these days), I'll be regretting it - but for now, I'm in the land of magic and Tinkerbell and I don't care!
The person on the phone was exceedingly helpful - very un-bank-like. As he wrapped up his call - inquiring 'is there anything else I can do to assist you this evening?' (to which I replied 'no, thank you'), he said 'there's just one more thing I need you to do to assist me in ensuring your reward dollars arrive as quickly as possible'.....and I said (hesitatingly, 'cuz I was sure this was some sales thing and I was about to be hit up or a membership of some kind), he said 'I need you to say these words: bippety, boppity, boo'.
So I did....giggling the entire time.
That's the magic of Disney - and if ever there was a sign that we should go on this trip 'cuz we truly need it (even if there are a million reasons we shouldn't be spending the money), that was it!!
I took it as a sign that it was going to be a great day. And it was......Last night, I phoned my credit card company and asked for my Disney Reward to be issued. I've had the Disney co-branded card for years and use it sporadically - it's taken a LONG TIME but I now have $185 to use for Disney merchandise, or theme parks. We're planning to go to Disneyland for the parks 55th anniversary in November - at least that's where we stand so far. Should we spend the money? No, we should not. Will I pay off the trip the month we take it? No, probably not - thus breaking one of our 'house rules'. But oh well. It has been a very hard year in our home - and we could all use a little magic! So take that, darn financial house rules! I'm going into debt to keep my sanity and if J. gets laid off any time soon (which is highly unlikely but who knows these days), I'll be regretting it - but for now, I'm in the land of magic and Tinkerbell and I don't care!
The person on the phone was exceedingly helpful - very un-bank-like. As he wrapped up his call - inquiring 'is there anything else I can do to assist you this evening?' (to which I replied 'no, thank you'), he said 'there's just one more thing I need you to do to assist me in ensuring your reward dollars arrive as quickly as possible'.....and I said (hesitatingly, 'cuz I was sure this was some sales thing and I was about to be hit up or a membership of some kind), he said 'I need you to say these words: bippety, boppity, boo'.
So I did....giggling the entire time.
That's the magic of Disney - and if ever there was a sign that we should go on this trip 'cuz we truly need it (even if there are a million reasons we shouldn't be spending the money), that was it!!
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Week?
Has it really been a week? Really? Wow......went quickly. And yet painfully slowly, too.....
I got a haircut today - have needed one for weeks but can never wedge it in. My hair lady (who I waited for - it's Great Clips so if you want a particular person, you have to wait for them to be done. It was my turn when this guy [who had been waiting for a specific person for some time] gave up and asked my person to cut his hair - he didn't want to wait anymore for 'his' lady to be available. So that was an 'extra' 20 minute wait. Oh well.) told me it had been 17 weeks since I was last there - so I had to confess that it's been about 8 week since my last haircut 'cuz I tried the new Super Cuts by our house. Didn't like it one bit and promised to never do that again. She gave me a great, cute haircut for the bargain price of $13. I tipped her well - $5. Still a bargain compared to the $55 haircuts of 'before the worst economic crisis since The Great Depression. I think our kids will be calling it The Great Recession. We've lived through it!
And while we're on the subject of generous tipping. On Friday, I went out for dinner with some friends of mine - people in the same position as me at different districts throughout our county. We have been fast friends for a long time - and we periodically get together for dinner and beverages. We had a great, fun time - so much so that 2 of the 3 of us needed ride homes from our husbands. I was one of them - it worked out great 'cuz he was returning home and driving right by where we were and had B. with him - so B. drove my car home and J. drove me home.
We had already settled our dinner bill - and were chatting and laughing so hard, we were all crying - and we decided to order another round of drinks. I picked up the tab for this round - it wasn't my turn to pick up the dinner bill and offering to buy drinks seemed reasonable. I pulled out all the cash I had - around $38 - and put it on the table....not really sure how much our additional 'bar' tab would be. After a lot more laughter and finishing our cocktails, our waiter returned - and I handed him ALL the money on the table. At the time, I sort of 'forgot' that I had taken everything in cash I had in preparation to pay the bill - and he picked it up and he seemed really excited about it - I said 'is it enough'? (again, I had no recollection of just how much it was) and he replied 'oh, yes, definitely!' It wasn't until the next morning, when I went to my wallet looking for a $20 bill I thought I still had that I realized I gave him $38 for a $18 (INCLUDING TIP) bill. Oh well. It's only money and he was very happy with that 'tip'. As well he should have been. Can't wait to go out with my friends again - sometimes, you just need to let your hair down! We sure had a great time -
My sweet sister sent me an e-card on Tuesday. It was a great 'support' card - just letting me know she was thinking of us/me. I remember thinking 'that's so sweet of her - and even better 'cuz things are going really well....so it's like a bonus card 'cuz I don't even NEED it'. (Not that I didn't love it - 'cuz I did - thanks, K.!). So, you know what had to happen.....
(to be continued).......
I got a haircut today - have needed one for weeks but can never wedge it in. My hair lady (who I waited for - it's Great Clips so if you want a particular person, you have to wait for them to be done. It was my turn when this guy [who had been waiting for a specific person for some time] gave up and asked my person to cut his hair - he didn't want to wait anymore for 'his' lady to be available. So that was an 'extra' 20 minute wait. Oh well.) told me it had been 17 weeks since I was last there - so I had to confess that it's been about 8 week since my last haircut 'cuz I tried the new Super Cuts by our house. Didn't like it one bit and promised to never do that again. She gave me a great, cute haircut for the bargain price of $13. I tipped her well - $5. Still a bargain compared to the $55 haircuts of 'before the worst economic crisis since The Great Depression. I think our kids will be calling it The Great Recession. We've lived through it!
And while we're on the subject of generous tipping. On Friday, I went out for dinner with some friends of mine - people in the same position as me at different districts throughout our county. We have been fast friends for a long time - and we periodically get together for dinner and beverages. We had a great, fun time - so much so that 2 of the 3 of us needed ride homes from our husbands. I was one of them - it worked out great 'cuz he was returning home and driving right by where we were and had B. with him - so B. drove my car home and J. drove me home.
We had already settled our dinner bill - and were chatting and laughing so hard, we were all crying - and we decided to order another round of drinks. I picked up the tab for this round - it wasn't my turn to pick up the dinner bill and offering to buy drinks seemed reasonable. I pulled out all the cash I had - around $38 - and put it on the table....not really sure how much our additional 'bar' tab would be. After a lot more laughter and finishing our cocktails, our waiter returned - and I handed him ALL the money on the table. At the time, I sort of 'forgot' that I had taken everything in cash I had in preparation to pay the bill - and he picked it up and he seemed really excited about it - I said 'is it enough'? (again, I had no recollection of just how much it was) and he replied 'oh, yes, definitely!' It wasn't until the next morning, when I went to my wallet looking for a $20 bill I thought I still had that I realized I gave him $38 for a $18 (INCLUDING TIP) bill. Oh well. It's only money and he was very happy with that 'tip'. As well he should have been. Can't wait to go out with my friends again - sometimes, you just need to let your hair down! We sure had a great time -
My sweet sister sent me an e-card on Tuesday. It was a great 'support' card - just letting me know she was thinking of us/me. I remember thinking 'that's so sweet of her - and even better 'cuz things are going really well....so it's like a bonus card 'cuz I don't even NEED it'. (Not that I didn't love it - 'cuz I did - thanks, K.!). So, you know what had to happen.....
(to be continued).......
Sunday, August 01, 2010
Things We Did Today
It was a wonderful Sunday.....a busy, full day. Here's what we did:
- Pruned trees in the backyard. Our 10 year old trees are full and lush - and we had them trimmed last year. This year, we did it ourselves - got out the pruning tools and had at it. I started on one last night and J. helped me finish this morning. He found the pruning saw attachment so that helped.....we still have a bit to work on but the yard waste bin is jammed full so we'll have to do some more next weekend.
- We also pruned our beautiful Japanese maple which is currently struggling with some kind of spider infestation. I've been regularly hosing (power washing) it off - and within a day, the spider webs are back in full force. Today, I topped off the gangly upper branches and pruned back the lower branches. It's needed that pruning for a long time - but it's so hard to cut branches off. I always look and think 'oh no, it's ruined' - it looks so sparse. But it will fill back in pretty quickly and hopefully, the spiders will vacate since I've cut back so many branches.
- Gas tank's full. Traveling to Oakland three nights a week means I'm back to filling up twice a week (at least).
- Grocery shopped and WalMart shopped - the school sites are back this week and we have our first Cabinet meeting of the year. I had to pick up snacks for the meeting - plus food, toiletries, etc. for us. I have to admit I'm liking WalMart these days - and the prices are great. Can't wait until WinCo opens - this fall, I think.
- I took a nap today - a rare thing. I seldom nap these days - too busy and/or don't want to risk having trouble sleeping. But I felt tired so I slept a little over an hour.
- We initiated what we hope will be a weekly event - Family Dinner. Sunday nights at 6:30. H. helped with the cooking. B. was available since he doesn't work until 8PM tonight. So we've set this one night a week aside to sit at the dining table and eat together. I know that seems odd - that we have to 'set time aside' - but we do. We are rarely in the same place at the same time - but we're committing to working hard at being home for dinner on Sundays. The menu tonight was grilled rib eye steaks, smashed restaurant style potatoes and chocolate molten lava cake. All delicious. It was a pleasant evening - already looking forward to next week.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Kit-Kat
I've fallen asleep two nights in a row attempting to watch the recorded most recent episode of Ace of Cakes. Last night, I fell asleep with my clothes on around 7:30ish and slept all night! I think I woke up briefly around 3AM and decided 'well, I think I should just keep sleeping' (vs. getting up and taking off my clothes) so I did. Though I was up at 5:20 this morning - but that's still the longest night's sleep I've had since LAST weekend. So it's fine that I'm up early. Enjoying some chat time with my AZ cousin before starting the day.
Let's see.....family news is that H. was accepted at the Charter High School we visited in the Spring. His summer school attendance there fell through when he went to Oakland for 30 days in-patient. But we confirmed he still wanted to attend there this fall so they scheduled an interview. And then rescheduled an interview upon seeing what he was suspended for at the end of last year. That 'infraction' got him bumped up to a meeting with the district's superintendent. Gulp! But it went fine and he's in. He's very excited. Good fresh start for him and the format (part online, part in class) is a good option for him. He really enjoyed the cyber class he took last spring - so this new school will really give him the chance to work at his own pace and make progress more quickly than a traditional 'lecture' format. He's happy.
He's been working his community service hours for his traffic tickets - painting railings, pulling weeds, etc. He's done a good job and I get a lot of compliments about him daily, which is nice. He really is a 'good kid'. That's been good for me to 'see' - we have done things 'right' with him and he's got a good head on his shoulders (when he's sober) and has a kind heart. He's also as charming as ever.
He's currently working his wiles on us to get a kitten. His friend got a kitten and he's enthralled with the concept of having one of his own. He wants it to be a boy and to call him 'Kitty'. And for the cat to be an outside cat. I've never had an outside cat - so I have no idea how that 'works' - it seems 'good' in theory - but I will be constantly afraid the cat will get killed by a car. So I'm not sure I can handle that. And outside cats bring 'presents' - the thought of a dead bird or other dead (or dying - OMG, even worse) creature on my back door mat makes me cringe....I don't think I would do well with an 'outdoor' cat.
We have said over and over that the pets we have now (one cat - 13 years old; one dog - 5 years old; one bird - ?? old - she's at least 12 years old and she will probably outlive us all) are the last pets we intend to have. But H. really wants a kitten....and I really want H. to have whatever he wants that he's even remotely interested in as long as it's not an illegal chemical substance. He's so earnest in his appeals for this latest 'cause'.
It doesn't help that I am a cat person - I love cats. And since Chloe (the dog) is so good with Klink (the cat), I know that if we had a little cat who would grow up with Chloe, they'd be fast friends. Chloe would happily play with Klink - but because Klink is merely tolerating the canine in the house, there's not a lot of interaction. You can really see Chloe waiting patiently and trying so hard to get Klink to be interested. She sits so patiently - doesn't make a move or a sound - except the slightest tail wag when she thinks Klink might be approaching for some real interaction. And then just the slightest hint of disappointment (in her ears, usually) when she realizes that he's just walking by her. Not really interested in her other than that she is physically there and therefore, he must walk by her to get where he's going.
So a new kitten might be more interactive with Chloe - and I can see the two of them curled up together on the couch for hours each day....
It's tempting. But then not. But then it is again. Stay tuned. My husband will be reading this shortly and I can already see the expression on his face and the slight shaking of his head 'no'. He is not a cat person. Never has been. Never will be. But in our 20+ year marriage, he has tolerated many a cat. He's a good sport. And he's a great dad.
So we'll see......not likely. Not by a long shot. But I told H. 'if a cat finds us, then we'll see. Every cat I've ever had has 'found' me....sometimes it's been at a rescue event and with one look, they became 'my cat'. One cat I rescued when she was left in a vacant apartment. I kept telling my landlord 'there's a kitten in that apartment' and she insisted that wasn't possible. But she finally went with me and looked - and sure enough, the smallest orange tabby kitten I've ever seen was hiding behind the couch. I took her in - and loved her for a long time before she died. She was a great cat. They tend to 'find you'. So if one finds you/us, then we'll see.... '.
I fully expect H. to be trolling the neighborhood looking for strays.....
It's a WEEKEND!!! I find myself getting as excited about weekends as I do about vacations - the thought of two days in a row of sleeping in! I love sleeping in....even if it's sleeping in until just after 5. That is actually later than I usually get up....so it counts!
Let's see.....family news is that H. was accepted at the Charter High School we visited in the Spring. His summer school attendance there fell through when he went to Oakland for 30 days in-patient. But we confirmed he still wanted to attend there this fall so they scheduled an interview. And then rescheduled an interview upon seeing what he was suspended for at the end of last year. That 'infraction' got him bumped up to a meeting with the district's superintendent. Gulp! But it went fine and he's in. He's very excited. Good fresh start for him and the format (part online, part in class) is a good option for him. He really enjoyed the cyber class he took last spring - so this new school will really give him the chance to work at his own pace and make progress more quickly than a traditional 'lecture' format. He's happy.
He's been working his community service hours for his traffic tickets - painting railings, pulling weeds, etc. He's done a good job and I get a lot of compliments about him daily, which is nice. He really is a 'good kid'. That's been good for me to 'see' - we have done things 'right' with him and he's got a good head on his shoulders (when he's sober) and has a kind heart. He's also as charming as ever.
He's currently working his wiles on us to get a kitten. His friend got a kitten and he's enthralled with the concept of having one of his own. He wants it to be a boy and to call him 'Kitty'. And for the cat to be an outside cat. I've never had an outside cat - so I have no idea how that 'works' - it seems 'good' in theory - but I will be constantly afraid the cat will get killed by a car. So I'm not sure I can handle that. And outside cats bring 'presents' - the thought of a dead bird or other dead (or dying - OMG, even worse) creature on my back door mat makes me cringe....I don't think I would do well with an 'outdoor' cat.
We have said over and over that the pets we have now (one cat - 13 years old; one dog - 5 years old; one bird - ?? old - she's at least 12 years old and she will probably outlive us all) are the last pets we intend to have. But H. really wants a kitten....and I really want H. to have whatever he wants that he's even remotely interested in as long as it's not an illegal chemical substance. He's so earnest in his appeals for this latest 'cause'.
It doesn't help that I am a cat person - I love cats. And since Chloe (the dog) is so good with Klink (the cat), I know that if we had a little cat who would grow up with Chloe, they'd be fast friends. Chloe would happily play with Klink - but because Klink is merely tolerating the canine in the house, there's not a lot of interaction. You can really see Chloe waiting patiently and trying so hard to get Klink to be interested. She sits so patiently - doesn't make a move or a sound - except the slightest tail wag when she thinks Klink might be approaching for some real interaction. And then just the slightest hint of disappointment (in her ears, usually) when she realizes that he's just walking by her. Not really interested in her other than that she is physically there and therefore, he must walk by her to get where he's going.
So a new kitten might be more interactive with Chloe - and I can see the two of them curled up together on the couch for hours each day....
It's tempting. But then not. But then it is again. Stay tuned. My husband will be reading this shortly and I can already see the expression on his face and the slight shaking of his head 'no'. He is not a cat person. Never has been. Never will be. But in our 20+ year marriage, he has tolerated many a cat. He's a good sport. And he's a great dad.
So we'll see......not likely. Not by a long shot. But I told H. 'if a cat finds us, then we'll see. Every cat I've ever had has 'found' me....sometimes it's been at a rescue event and with one look, they became 'my cat'. One cat I rescued when she was left in a vacant apartment. I kept telling my landlord 'there's a kitten in that apartment' and she insisted that wasn't possible. But she finally went with me and looked - and sure enough, the smallest orange tabby kitten I've ever seen was hiding behind the couch. I took her in - and loved her for a long time before she died. She was a great cat. They tend to 'find you'. So if one finds you/us, then we'll see.... '.
I fully expect H. to be trolling the neighborhood looking for strays.....
It's a WEEKEND!!! I find myself getting as excited about weekends as I do about vacations - the thought of two days in a row of sleeping in! I love sleeping in....even if it's sleeping in until just after 5. That is actually later than I usually get up....so it counts!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
IOP
This past week has proven the word 'intensive' in Intensive Outpatient Therapy to be the operative theme.
Possibly the feelings felt more intense because it was my first week back at work after close to three weeks off....the stark realization that attempting to leave at 2:30 three days a week to trek to Oakland was certainly adding complexity to already intensely complex days. The workload alone does not respond well to that mid-day interruption - and my meager organizational skills get tossed out the window. By the end of the day Tuesday, I was already feeling emotionally on edge - convincing myself that I could do this while secretly feeling that this was insane and would soon render me requiring padded walls for comfort - and survival. I knew, rationally, that I was just feeling overwhelmed and overloaded from returning to work. There's a lot to 'regroup' on and refresh my memory on - and it was overwhelming. But my ability to think rationally was pretty much waning throughout the day and by the time we were en route to Oakland, I was already feeling spent.
The family therapy sessions we attend on Tuesday evenings are a lot different from the sessions we attended when H. was an inpatient. First, the size of the group is considerably larger - there are at least 13 families in this therapy group. Some families are two parents in attendance - some just one. That's at least 26 people in the room - and usually more. It's diverse - not just ethnically diverse - but diverse in every possible way. Socio-economically, geographically. It's also very diverse in terms of the respective 'client's' issues. There are kids like H. who are pretty much at the 'start' (and we hope the end) of their addictive behavior path. There are kids who have relapsed dozens upon dozens of times. Kids who have broken the law. Kids who's homes are completely and totally dysfunctional - inside and out. Parents who aren't able to communicate well with their kids - or anyone - about the issues that surround their child's addiction. It's very interesting.....and very intense. And often times, sort of disheartening.
I left our session on Tuesday feeling hopeless - again. Not because of anything in particular related specifically to H. - he seems to continue to be 'engaged' in working the program. Though his teenage-ness shows more - but for the most part, he seems to be doing well. But I felt like his relapse was inevitable - because at the core of most relapses is the kid really not seeking sobriety for himself - but to appease/comply with the desire of the adults in their life. And at some point, the parent's desires becomes something the kids just doesn't give a damn about - so they use again.
We've set up some pretty serious consequences for H. if he uses again. He knows those consequences. I'm not sure the seriousness of those decisions is what's keeping him on the straight and narrow - but they might be. And while I'd love for him to be staying on the path to not using for HIMSELF, at least as long as he lives in our home, he can use our disapproval as his primary motivation for not using. I guess that will 'work'. Though long term, he truly has to decide for himself that he doesn't want to use anymore....
At least for now, he truly is (at least in some small part) staying sober for himself -
There are so many kids in the IOP program who just use and use over and over again. And it's all I can do to not just blurt out things to the parents like 'what are you thinking? You just bought your son who relapsed THREE TIMES in the past couple weeks a brand new car? WTF? Seriously.....what are you thinking?'. But I don't. I don't know these kids or these families and every parent has to walk the road themselves and rethink (often, over and over) every single decision they've ever made in regards to raising their child....but some of the repeated 'patterns' and decisions made by these families boggles my mind....and it makes me sad. Overwhelmingly sad....
I really thought my (over) reaction to Tuesday nights session was just 'me' - feeling overwhelmed at work [already - and grappling with that 'already' component is largely what caused it to begin with - like a three week vacation's calming effect is gone in an instant and it's back to trudging through day after day after day] - until the next morning when J. said 'wow, I feel really wiped out after last night'. So at least I knew it wasn't just me noticing that this family therapy is oh-so-much harder than what we were doing during in patient - and that was no picnic, either, frankly -
Thankfully, our case manager confirmed that the sessions are 'flexible' and they are more than willing to work with us on what works best for us. They understand that the 2+ hours of travel time combined with the three hour session time multiplied by three times per week, on consecutive days is in itself a challenge for us - we travel probably the furthest of any in attendance. So we can 'adjust' as/if needed - and possibly skip some Tuesday sessions if that helps us.
It's tempting....but the entire reason we're doing this is for H. And every day we 'opt out' is a day we are opting out at time he needs with his counselor (he sees a counselor before the family therapy sessions every night we go) - so I'm not really keen on shorting him on that time.
For now, we're sticking with 'the plan' and reminding ourselves that it will be around 8-10 weeks of the 'intensive' part. It will transition to one night per week eventually - and frankly, that sounds very 'scary' from the perspective of H. having the support he needs to stay sober.
H., to his credit, though, has been attending AA meetings every night that we are not going to Oakland. I'm not sure his attendance at those meetings is motivated entirely by his desire to stay sober - more on that in another post, probably - but I'll take it. He recognizes he needs to 'work' at staying sober 7 days a week - and is doing what he needs to do towards that goal. I really do admire him for that - and it does require HIM to be motivated to do that - thus making it his effort to stay sober. We are both incredibly proud of him for that - for sticking with it and doing what he needs - when he needs it.
We have an interview for his admission to the charter high school this coming Wednesday. We are pretty hopeful that he will be accepted - and would appreciate prayers for that outcome, please. He needs that change. Desperately needs that change. Sending him back to his 'old' high school seems counter-productive to the positive changes he's made....
Possibly the feelings felt more intense because it was my first week back at work after close to three weeks off....the stark realization that attempting to leave at 2:30 three days a week to trek to Oakland was certainly adding complexity to already intensely complex days. The workload alone does not respond well to that mid-day interruption - and my meager organizational skills get tossed out the window. By the end of the day Tuesday, I was already feeling emotionally on edge - convincing myself that I could do this while secretly feeling that this was insane and would soon render me requiring padded walls for comfort - and survival. I knew, rationally, that I was just feeling overwhelmed and overloaded from returning to work. There's a lot to 'regroup' on and refresh my memory on - and it was overwhelming. But my ability to think rationally was pretty much waning throughout the day and by the time we were en route to Oakland, I was already feeling spent.
The family therapy sessions we attend on Tuesday evenings are a lot different from the sessions we attended when H. was an inpatient. First, the size of the group is considerably larger - there are at least 13 families in this therapy group. Some families are two parents in attendance - some just one. That's at least 26 people in the room - and usually more. It's diverse - not just ethnically diverse - but diverse in every possible way. Socio-economically, geographically. It's also very diverse in terms of the respective 'client's' issues. There are kids like H. who are pretty much at the 'start' (and we hope the end) of their addictive behavior path. There are kids who have relapsed dozens upon dozens of times. Kids who have broken the law. Kids who's homes are completely and totally dysfunctional - inside and out. Parents who aren't able to communicate well with their kids - or anyone - about the issues that surround their child's addiction. It's very interesting.....and very intense. And often times, sort of disheartening.
I left our session on Tuesday feeling hopeless - again. Not because of anything in particular related specifically to H. - he seems to continue to be 'engaged' in working the program. Though his teenage-ness shows more - but for the most part, he seems to be doing well. But I felt like his relapse was inevitable - because at the core of most relapses is the kid really not seeking sobriety for himself - but to appease/comply with the desire of the adults in their life. And at some point, the parent's desires becomes something the kids just doesn't give a damn about - so they use again.
We've set up some pretty serious consequences for H. if he uses again. He knows those consequences. I'm not sure the seriousness of those decisions is what's keeping him on the straight and narrow - but they might be. And while I'd love for him to be staying on the path to not using for HIMSELF, at least as long as he lives in our home, he can use our disapproval as his primary motivation for not using. I guess that will 'work'. Though long term, he truly has to decide for himself that he doesn't want to use anymore....
At least for now, he truly is (at least in some small part) staying sober for himself -
There are so many kids in the IOP program who just use and use over and over again. And it's all I can do to not just blurt out things to the parents like 'what are you thinking? You just bought your son who relapsed THREE TIMES in the past couple weeks a brand new car? WTF? Seriously.....what are you thinking?'. But I don't. I don't know these kids or these families and every parent has to walk the road themselves and rethink (often, over and over) every single decision they've ever made in regards to raising their child....but some of the repeated 'patterns' and decisions made by these families boggles my mind....and it makes me sad. Overwhelmingly sad....
I really thought my (over) reaction to Tuesday nights session was just 'me' - feeling overwhelmed at work [already - and grappling with that 'already' component is largely what caused it to begin with - like a three week vacation's calming effect is gone in an instant and it's back to trudging through day after day after day] - until the next morning when J. said 'wow, I feel really wiped out after last night'. So at least I knew it wasn't just me noticing that this family therapy is oh-so-much harder than what we were doing during in patient - and that was no picnic, either, frankly -
Thankfully, our case manager confirmed that the sessions are 'flexible' and they are more than willing to work with us on what works best for us. They understand that the 2+ hours of travel time combined with the three hour session time multiplied by three times per week, on consecutive days is in itself a challenge for us - we travel probably the furthest of any in attendance. So we can 'adjust' as/if needed - and possibly skip some Tuesday sessions if that helps us.
It's tempting....but the entire reason we're doing this is for H. And every day we 'opt out' is a day we are opting out at time he needs with his counselor (he sees a counselor before the family therapy sessions every night we go) - so I'm not really keen on shorting him on that time.
For now, we're sticking with 'the plan' and reminding ourselves that it will be around 8-10 weeks of the 'intensive' part. It will transition to one night per week eventually - and frankly, that sounds very 'scary' from the perspective of H. having the support he needs to stay sober.
H., to his credit, though, has been attending AA meetings every night that we are not going to Oakland. I'm not sure his attendance at those meetings is motivated entirely by his desire to stay sober - more on that in another post, probably - but I'll take it. He recognizes he needs to 'work' at staying sober 7 days a week - and is doing what he needs to do towards that goal. I really do admire him for that - and it does require HIM to be motivated to do that - thus making it his effort to stay sober. We are both incredibly proud of him for that - for sticking with it and doing what he needs - when he needs it.
We have an interview for his admission to the charter high school this coming Wednesday. We are pretty hopeful that he will be accepted - and would appreciate prayers for that outcome, please. He needs that change. Desperately needs that change. Sending him back to his 'old' high school seems counter-productive to the positive changes he's made....
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Tales of Helpers
Our cleaning lady D. is here today - she wears earbuds and chats on the phone while she works. She is the third cleaning 'person(s)...
