Nationalization

I tell J. this morning 'hey, check to see if your employer still has an Employee Stock Ownership Plan (ESOP) and if yes, go ahead and get the paperwork to sign up. With the stock at a huge 'low', we can find a little $$ each month to buy some stock - to hold long term for retirement.'

And his reply was: 'as long as the bank doesn't end up nationalized and we lose it all.

This is the thing about my lovely husband: I've been terrified FOR WEEKS that his bank his headed into the crapper like so many others - and I bring up those fears periodically. The stock is devastated (as are most bank stocks)...and while his bank sure seems 'better off' than most, you never know, right? And for weeks/months, he's always replied 'oh, that won't happen to us. We're fine'.

Only today, when it comes to buying into his bank, now it's 'um, maybe we shouldn't'.

So you see, even the eternal optimists are getting a bit concerned....

This does not bode well.

Miracle Whip

J. read my post and went straight to the kitchen - came into the study with a jar of mayo and a jar of Miracle Whip and proceeded to analyze the differences.

MW has vinegar in it - which is why I dislike it so intensely. If I wanted salad dressing on a sandwich or in my tuna or egg salad, I'd just use Good Seasons or something. I want MAYO - egg yolks, oil and a little spice. Call me a purist, but putting vinegar in a spread you put on bread is just wrong.

Though I have to admit - it's 1/3 the calories and fat of mayo. I know, for my health, I should consider 'switching'.

But I just can't do it. I think MW is the grossest stuff ever invented - and I don't care how many of the really important people in my life 'switch to the dark side'. I am sticking with mayo the way it was intended to be - creamy, rich and not at all tasting of vinegar and sugar.

I love mayo so much that I've really wished I was a 'cooking whiz' to the degree that I could make home made mayo. I had a friend in Texas (we went to Europe together the summer of our 16th year and we visited periodically) who's mom made homemade mayo while I was there - and I'll never forget watching her mix the yolks and the oil oh-so-carefully and the amazing substance known as mayonnaise appeared before my very eyes. It was the best mayo I've ever had and to this day, I still think of it when I'm spreading the jarred stuff on a sandwich - wishing I had the skill to do that. Maybe I'll add that to the list of things I want to master when I'm not working 50+ hours per week.

And thanks (and hello!) to my cousin DLB for posting a comment - glad the post gave you a good chuckle. J. laughed out loud, too.

Disappointment

We went out to dinner on Friday- not unusual. Headed to our regular Mexican food place....but next door to that restaurant is a really nice, more 'atmosphere' place that we eat at rarely. It was just me, J. and B. - H. was at a friends house and opted to skip dinner.

I asked (as we pulled into the parking lot) 'hey, B., want to try Magellan's tonight'? Fully expecting the answer to be 'no', he said 'yes'!

So we enjoyed a wonderful splurge - it is a wonderful place but it's pricey.

Dinner was fantastic....good salads, pasta for me and B. and delicious fish for J. (we shared so we each got a little of both). I even had wine (one glass) and we had desserts. Delicious - and close to 3 times the cost of what we would have paid next door. But oh well - we needed to 'live a little'.

Conversation was good - upbeat. Until things turned bad....

During this dinner, my son disclosed something that has rocked me to my core.....I can barely begin to write the words he said.....it still shocks me, days later....

He disclosed......

Unbelievably......

'I'm starting to really like Miracle Whip'.

'NOOOOOOOOO'......was my shocked reply. 'You and me and H. are MAYONNAISE PEOPLE. We are NOT Miracle Whip people. Only DAD eats Miracle Whip.'

I said 'I have never been more disappointed in you in your entire life, B.'.

Followed with 'and I'm going to have to blog about this.'

So there you have it - a turn of events that will change our lives forever.

He said something about 'fat content is so much less with Miracle Whip, Mom'. I'm like 'but it is filled with sugar - you can TASTE the sugar....'.

I survived....barely.

And the food and company were wonderful. It was a really nice evening and I know that B. will be a fan of that place going forward. He cleaned his plate...and splurged and had layered chocolate cake for dessert. And then said 'I'm going to the gym to run five miles'....though he waited until the next morning to go run.

Foreclosure

OK - this isn't supposed to be a 'political' blog...but there remain some things I need to get off my chest so hang in there while I let loose the other really big thing that's on my mind. Well, there's 'Octo Mom' - the mother of the octuplets who also has six other children...but I've decided to take the high road on that story and just remain mute. There's so much I want to say about that situation - she's ill-equipped (in my opinion) to adequately care for that many children....her mother is clearly a bitter, angry woman (which might explain why this fairly young lady is so desperate to find love by giving birth to so many children).....but enough on that. I wish them well and hope they have a wonderful life. The 8 of them are certainly miracles and there must be a reason...so I'm not going to dedicate a full post to that.

And I will acknowledge that we FINALLY have a state budget - perhaps my post did it. Yeah, right. But it was nice to see a comment from Mr. Organized Crime (Hi!) and nice to know someone out there is reading this besides me. So, the Legislature did their jobs and voted and we have a budget...not sure of all the specific impacts to our district but I have to say it's better (in some ways) than what we expected. More flexibility items that will definitely help district get through these hard times. Still bad. But better than it could have been. So that's good.

No, what has me completely pissed off this evening is our new President's proposal to bail out people to avoid foreclosures. I support the intent behind that plan - but I do not support the bailing out. It pisses me off.

We are an average upper middle class family. We are blessed with good, stable jobs (knock on wood) that pay well - and for that, we work our asses off. Seriously. We do not have 'easy, low-stress' jobs. We work really hard to provide for our kids...and we pay all our bills on time every month. Mortgage, insurance, property taxes, and everything else related to sheltering, caring and feeding four humans, one canine, two felines and a bird (sorry - I don't remember her species classification. I could look it up but I'm too tired).

Our home and our retirement accounts WERE our greatest assets. They are all - ALL - now devalued by at least 50% of where they were this time a year ago. That hurts. A lot. We could probably sell our house now for what we owe on it, technically - and we're glad for that. We had hundreds of thousands of equity a couple years ago - and we don't anymore. And we're OK with that - we owe about what the house is worth and so we'd be 'even' if we had to sell. Which we're not. But we could. We're still paying our mortgage - and we certainly don't consider ourselves in need of being bailed out. We have assets. We are doing OK. Making ends meet. Saving. Paying all our bills, in full, every month. Without fail. We are blessed - and we know it.

But here's a story for you - I just heard this recently from a friend at work. She has friends who are facing foreclosure. And they are praying the proposed bail out will 'save' them. But the reason these people need to be bailed out is because they borrowed up to the hilt of their appraised value at every opportunity. They owe $600K on a house now worth half that. And they owe close to $50K in credit card debt - which is debt they RAN UP again and again after refinancing. Each time they refinanced, they paid off credit card debt and then charged it up again. They now can't afford their mortgage - it's adjusted several times and their income doesn't support their payment. But the problem isn't that they lost a job...their problem is: they are living way above their means. And they have been for a really long time. Every time they borrowed against the value of their home, they 'lived' on that money. Spending on 'things' - things they didn't need and really couldn't afford.

And now, they want us - families like us - to bail them out. To have tax payers pay for their over-spending and bad judgment. Note: if you take on an adjustable rate mortgage, it may very well ADJUST (that's why it's called ADJUSTABLE). Now those loans are great for folks who need lower payments at first and will then be able to qualify for a refi before the adjustment period. And granted, some folks are in a pickle because the housing market tanked and now they can't refinance - because their house isn't worth enough to get a refi approved. Hey, we've been there....read back to our 'condo' years...10 years in a condo with two little boys because the builder filed bankruptcy a month after we bought it...we owed way more than we could get an appraisal for and we stayed - month after month, year after year. We made our payments and plugged away - we didn't walk away, though we sure thought about it. We stayed. And we were careful and frugal and saved and got the heck out as soon as we could.

I have sympathy for a dear friend of ours who lost her husband and really was a victim of 'predatory lending'. She got into a really bad loan - and she was pushed to take it. And she's close to losing her home because of it. But she's staying and she's trying to work it out. SHE is an example of someone I will happily help bail out. She lives very frugally, is doing everything she can to make ends meet (including working three jobs). She just had a bad lending agent feed her a load of crap - and now she's in trouble...

But the other people - the ones who owe close to $700K? No way. Get the hell out of the house you couldn't afford to begin with and learn to live within your means. If you can't pay for something the day you're buying it, don't buy it. You are in this mess because you use your house as a checkbook. It isn't. It's a house. Walk away, be foreclosed, take the hit on your credit score and move on. Rent. Stop shopping. Cut up your credit cards. You clearly are unable (and/or unwilling) to stop spending money you don't have to spend.

And I do not want our government, for which we are all paying, to bail you out. No way. No. Just no.

I don't know how the plan will be rolled out. I haven't read much about it (though I plan to) and I'm sure hopeful that our widowed friend will be helped and the flaky couple living off the value of their now de-valued home aren't.

But what I want to know is: what will be the benefit for all of us who have been and will continue to pay their mortgage? What do we get for being careful? For reading the fine print? For not buying a home we couldn't afford? For living within our means? Do I think the lending institutions were stupid to make loans that required no documentation of 'proof of income' (for example)? Yes, they were. But honestly, the people taking those loans had to realize that they were on the edge of not being able to afford those homes from the get-go. Homes are expensive! Not just the structure - not just paying the mortgage. There's insurance and utilities and maintenance. Surely they woke up a few months into their new home ownership experience and realized 'wow, we really aren't bringing enough home to cover our bills'. Surely they knew....

So what do all of us out there paying our mortgages, living in houses that are (also, like homes heading into foreclosure) seriously devalued. What's in it for us? How about some kind of tax credit - to acknowledge that we've been doing the right thing month after month. Year after year.

I know they say if they don't bail out people, the housing market will tank further. But honestly, I don't care. I really don't. I mean, I don't want that to happen - but we all know we're not at the 'bottom' yet. There's more to come. So just let it happen. People who never should have been home owners to begin with will return to the rental market. People who can afford houses will have many good values to choose from. Starter homes will be abundant - and that will be a good thing. Find well-qualified applicants and return to the days of yore when buying a house meant something. When having a good credit score was worth something.

Think about it - what will all these bail outs mean to credit scores? They'll become meaningless. Our stellar credit score won't mean a thing - or will we get bonus points for paying every month while our neighbor doesn't? Wait - forget that. Bonus points are meaningless to us - we already have a pretty high score (just stating fact, not intended to be boastful). It can't get much higher. So what will we get for being responsible and paying our mortgage on time each month?

I'm still completely thrilled with our President and believe he will do what needs to be done. But I wonder....I just can't wrap my head around bailing out irresponsible people. So I sure hope they figure out a way to be careful about who they're bailing out. Some stories out there are just that - stories. People who used the boom in the housing market to create cash flow - and now don't have enough cash to support those actions. I don't want to bail them out....I want them to start over, as they should.

I told J. I was writing about the bail out plan and he said 'well, supposedly there is criteria - you should read about the plan before you post'. And my response to that is: it's my blog...and I can rant if I want to. (and the song 'It's My Party' keeps running through my head.....).

Partisan

Well, partisan politics are alive and well in our fair state.

(If you are a Republican, I mean you no offense. Seriously. In fact, I need you - I need you to read what I'm about to write and if you live in California, call your State Representative(s) and share this post with them).

It is unfathomable to me how the Republican legislators in our Senate cannot understand this critical thing: you cannot close a FORTY TWO BILLION (that's with a B!!) gap between revenue and expenses by simply cutting expenses. You forced that approach through this time last year - gutted education budgets and other services across the state and managed to make it through THAT fiscal year, albeit barely.

We are now a year later - and as we all know, our economy - of our state AND of our nation - is in far worse shape than we were a year ago. Things are BAD. Hugely bad. It is IMPOSSIBLE to bridge the ever-widening gap between our state's revenue and our state's expenditures by cutting expenses alone. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO CUT. So the 'compromise' being presented NOW is a combination of reducing expenses and some increases in taxes.

We're not talking zillions of dollars in tax increases. We're talking raising vehicle licensing fees; raising sales tax; raising gasoline tax. Are those painful? Yes, sure. For all of us. Are they dire? Far from it. Admittedly, budgets are tight and certainly, we'd all prefer to not pay more for a gallon of gas. Or more tax on a clothing, etc.

But if the alternative is doing NOTHING, (which is what all of our legislature has been doing regarding our state budget's Armageddon for months now), I'll take taxes.

The Senate is short ONE REPUBLICAN VOTE. Just one. They've already had some Republican Senators cross party lines and vote for the budget that raises these taxes. They need one more. Just one.

It is mind-boggling to me how the party known as Republicans in our State are failing to see the 'big picture'. Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees. Holy Cow. The Governor is about to send out TWENTY THOUSAND lay off notices to State employees. All construction projects are stopped. That stoppage alone is costing FOUR HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS. Done, poof, gone - while they spend the night, caucusing over and over and being as stubborn as mules.

These are dangerous times. How do they not see that? How can they be so short-sighted that they don't see that the people they are elected to serve and protect are suffering a long, slow painful slide into oblivion? We are the eighth largest economy IN THE WORLD - just our little state. And yet, we have a legislative process that requires a 2/3 majority to pass a budget - and we can't get enough Republicans to agree.

Even our Governor - himself a Republican - the guy who a year ago forced it to be all about 'cutting expenses' - failing to recognize (at that time) the revenue side of the equation - has turned around and realized that WE CAN'T CLOSE THAT LARGE OF A GAP BETWEEN MONEY IN AND MONEY OUT by only addressing the expense side of the equation. It's just not possible. That gap continues to grow. And it will only get worse as our legislature fails to come to an agreement.

It is the craziest thing I've ever seen. And I'm in the middle of it - I'm waiting to find out how much money my district won't get this year (because the State is taking some of our current revenue back - only they haven't confirmed exactly how much they're taking - and let me tell you, that's pretty frickin' stressful when your district's spending some of the revenue it may not get and you are the person responsible for keeping things in the black - NOT in the red) and next.

So, if you are a Republican in California, think 'big picture'. Yes, we'll pay a bit more on things we all buy, use and need. But we'll have infrastructure. Education. Fewer unemployed people. A chance...to survive what is happening to our nation's and our state's economy. We are sliding further and further into an abyss of unknown proportion.

Please. It just takes one of you to 'do the right thing'. This is not the time to think like a Republican. It's the time to think like a citizen of California. Your constituency - and the rest of us - are counting on you.

Impasse

I'm sort of hesitant to post this - to actually write it all down. Sure that once I do that, the entire discussion will resurface and fester and we'll be in the limbo we've been in for over a year. But it does appear that reconciliation has occurred - that we are in agreement, at least for today.

B. has decided to attend a two year college - and even better - he wants to attend the two year college where I worked for almost five years.

The reasons for this are many - and while he has taken some time to get to this place, I know he knows in his gut that it's the right decision. He is just plain 'not ready' to make the break from home and attend an 'away' school, though he desperately wants to. His grades are far from stellar; his motivation lacking on a regular basis. Most recently, he waited until the last minute to do a paper - and ended up having to miss some school to get it done. He sees no 'patterns' in all this - doesn't seem to tie the repeated pattern of putting things off as long as possible; misjudging just how long things take (I'm telling him to multiply the time HE thinks it will take by 2 or 3 and that will be closer to what it will actually take); putting off school work because of social things like going to the gym or time with friends.

I've lost count of the times these issues have surfaced in the past 3.5 years of his high school days. Given up at trying to point the patterns out over and over. But he finally realized that it's probably not the best thing to consider moving away from home, at a cost of $20-$30K per year....and so he approached us and said that he felt it would be better to attend a community college.

And then said 'because I want to focus on the band'. I resisted the urge to have my head spin off my neck and said sweetly 'ok, but know this: the same patterns you've had throughout your high school days - of putting things off because there's something more important (read: more fun) to do won't fly in college - whether it's a 4 year school or a 2 year school, college is a lot of work and shelling out money for you to attend will require considerably more effort on your part. More consistent, diligent, on-going effort than you have put into your high school career. $20/unit and living at home and commuting to school still costs money...and so we won't foot the bill if the grades don't reflect effort on your part.'

This conversation happened not quite a week ago - and he's changed and re-changed his mind a couple times since then. But he knows - he KNOWS - that this is the best decision for him. His grades are in the toilet. He has to send transcripts reflecting current grades and as soon as he does that, he will be off the 'conditionally accepted' list and on the 'uh oh' off conditionally accepted list. And he knows it.

I know he's disappointed. And secretly, I am, too. Not because I'm disappointed in him - I'm not. I know he's making the right decision and I know, first-hand, that the quality of education he will get at the two year school he's selected is STELLAR. But my heart breaks a little bit 'cuz I was sort of excited about him having that 'adventure'. And I was most definitely excited about him being out of the house. Two fewer years of the teenage, on the verge of adulthood, angst filled B. would be a nice thing. But it appears he will be living here a couple more years at least. And that's OK. Really, it is. And in two years, he'll transfer to the school of his choice, with a stellar (God willing) transcript reflecting two years of great grades at LPC.

And then, we'll get to do the whole 'setting up his dorm room', visiting him on weekends, enjoying 'B.-free' zones. We might even be lucky enough to have H. out of the house at the same time...so there's that to look forward to - the days of 'teen-free zone' are not too far away. Really, they're not.

He still has the hurdle of telling his AVID teacher - and THAT whole issue is another post for another time. Depending on how that goes, I may be firing off a letter to the Superintendent of the high school district and give him a piece of my mind. I'll keep you posted on how it all turns out. Suffice it to say: the AVID teacher at B.'s school is very 'against' her students attending community colleges. She uses the 'data' that supports that many kids attending two year colleges don't transfer - and while that may be true, I know it will not be true for B. He has a mother who is a product of the community college system - you enter with the goal of getting a 4 year degree and that is WHAT YOU WILL GET. She doesn't consider it - and has put quite a bit of pressure on B. to not consider that as an option. The kid is more stressed out about talking to her about this whole decision than he is about dealing with us on this decision. I just don't think that's right. I don't think a high school teacher should have a kid so worried and upset that he's dreading talking to her about the decision.

And had we known she would be applying a fair bit of pressure for the past couple years B. has been in AVID, we never would have moved him into that program. That single decision has caused us more heartache and angst as a family then any other decision. Which just isn't right.

We have offered to come with him to meet with her. He's afraid to tell her - how wrong is that? To be afraid of talking to a teacher about a decision that is purely a FAMILY decision.

Storming

I should be out running errands.....or attending church.....or lots of other things that require leaving the house. But there's a big storm passing through - it'd be a 'nor' east er' if we lived on the east coast....I have no idea what we should call it here. It's big enough and wet enough that we've had to drain some water out of the pool. THAT'S when you know there's been a lot of rain - it was getting pretty darn full and we couldn't risk it topping out overnight and flooding the backyard. I made J. set a timer of some kind - feeling like we're getting 'on in years' and we might forget we've had the pool draining and go out and find it empty - thankfully, we/he didn't forget and we drained just enough to be in the safe zone again. Might need to drain a bit more today depending on how much (more) water falls.

There's stuff blown all over the yard - the pool and spa are a mess. And it's still blowing and gusting and raining off and on. So the boys and I (J. is playing bass at church today) have started a fire in the family room and are just hanging out. B. is getting ready to go to work. H. is playing video games. Both were planning to spend the day snowboarding with friends, but that plan got scrapped around 5AM this morning....so now B. will head to work and H. will just hang out.

I woke up at 7:30, sat up in bed and felt 'ugh'...so I went back to sleep. I would have probably slept until at least 9ish but there were some really loud noises - musics, bangs, etc. I couldn't figure out where they were coming from (since I was expecting everyone to be gone). H. was watching Oceans Eleven (he loves the three Oceans movies almost as much as I do!) in the family room, where the surround sound was booming...under the bed I was sleeping in. Oh well. Probably better to get up - there's plenty to do. There's always plenty to do.

Our Valentine's Day celebration was quiet - we bought Rib Eye steaks and had salad to go with - and I made brownies. With hot fudge sauce. And as many maraschino cherries as you wanted on top. I ate 10 (cherries, not brownies). And 1/2 a steak. There's plenty of leftovers for tonight.

We will try to brave the weather to make a Costco run today. Out of staples like apples and bananas and I can't bring myself to buy them at the grocery store - so much more expensive and not nearly as good.

I am heading into a three week marathon of work....big report due and it's a doozy. All the budget reductions, budget cuts, etc. have to be incorporated into this massive document....and it all rests firmly on my shoulders. It will get done but working weekends is highly likely for the next couple weeks. So I'm trying to just enjoy what might be my last weekend off for some time.

Still working on making over the study. Getting back to it shortly - much progress has been made. The housecleaning crew will be surprised on Tuesday. There's a lot less 'stuff' in here then there was last time they were here (two weeks ago).

I leave you with this: the simple reminders you find of love in your everyday life - none of these pictures were staged. They just happened and I've been saving them for the right occasion. In my morning coffee one day not too long ago - and in my makeup that I use daily. Sometimes, hearts appear. I love it when that happens.

Hoping your Valentine's Day was the sweetest!