Trudging Through

If all goes right, I will be heading to Reno a week from tomorrow - a solo trip - wasn't supposed to be a solo trip but J. and his friend R. booked a concert on Saturday - so I'm heading up alone. 

I should load the car and stop at storage first thing...but I have a very sore arm/shoulder and it's my right (dominate) hand which would make the whole storage unit access and unloading problematic.  And I always get there so anxious to be in my happy place - and trekking to storage first has become basically torture.  I know.  It's silly.  But....I like to get there, get settled in the room and GO PLAY!! 

I haven't had a weekend alone since January and I'm way overdue. 

I am plowing through budget stuff as quickly as I can and while it's a complete and total crap shoot to take a 4 day weekend during budget development time - something I have NEVER done in my entire tenure as the CBO - I think I'm going to.  I (admittedly) have a slightly adjusted approach/attitude these days - sure, I want to do a good job and want the budget to be 'good'.  But truthfully, I don't give a crap - I just want to get it done and call it done. I have a list of tasks to leave my replacement and I hope to come back the Tuesday after and find them done.  I suspect they won't be - and that will be on her. 

I'm so ready to be out of there. 

My replacement is not someone I think should be in the job - I know that's a turn around from previous posts but it's how I feel.  She takes her role as being the hammer - and everyone else are the nails.  It doesn't fit our culture at all - she's off-putting, rude, abrasive and not easy to be around. 

I feel sad about it - but...trying to embrace the 'I don't give a crap' feeling so it won't hurt so much.  Leaving all the lovely people I care about to deal with her going forward hurts my heart and soul so much.  But it is what it is.