Confession

I am not a perfect friend. I screw up on occasion. I am getting old…and crotchety, at times. And I need to remember this: good friends are hard to find and a treasured commodity. I would never, ever knowingly hurt a friend. Ever. EVERRRR.

My life is zooming by these days – I am ‘F cubed’ – frequently frazzled and fragmented. I worry that I’m getting Alzheimer’s – or dementia – seriously. Because I do things, or I don’t do things….or I forget things….or I just blurt out things…that of course, I end up regretting. Alzheimer’s or dementia would be an ‘easy’ excuse for these things. But I know that’s just the ‘easy’ explanation.

I feel like a lot of people do: there are not enough hours in the day to accomplish what needs to be accomplished and still have time for a little sanity-making down time. I dread the phone ringing. Sales calls, friends (at times), family (at times)….and there are times when I’m just not that ‘into’ talking. It’s a bad thing about me…and I acknowledge that it warrants attention. Being ‘short and sweet’ with a sales call is one thing. Being ‘short and sweet’ with a friend or family member is quite another. There’s a balance there and some days, I just don’t have it – no balance. None. I’m going to have to work on that, I think. Should I learn to just not answer the phone when I’m feeling that talking is not something I am up to at that moment? People will call back, right? Or leave a message? When I’m home, I can hand the phone to J., who does most (if not all) the phone answering in our home. But when I’m at work, my options are few and far between. Let every call ring to voicemail? Most are not caller-id’d and I’d be missing calls that are critically important to take.

It’s a fine balance and I need to work on it – seriously, work on it.

If anyone reading this has been on the receiving end of a short and sweet call when a much more in-depth conversation was warranted, you have my complete, total, profuse apology. You deserve better than that from me and I promise you, I will fix it. I promise. Just give me another chance. Please. If I said something that was thoughtless, I’m sorry for that, too. Truly sorry. Lost in my own ‘stuff’ and I shouldn't have been.

The only exception to this is if you are a telemarketer…I know you’re just doing your job but I don’t want to talk to you. Ever. Period.

To all the other really wonderful people in my life – let the calls commence!