Resolved

I emailed my former boss this morning to tell him I was not applying for the job. Thanked him for wishing me back there. Explained that I wasn't going to let my 'flee response' urge me out of a job I know I am very good at; getting better every day at; and will be working at until I retire. I then also forwarded the email I sent to him to my current boss, to have him be the 2nd person who knew my decision. He has been on vacation for a couple weeks but within a few minutes of sending the email, my phone rang and it was him [current boss] thanking me for sharing the email with him and letting me know he was glad my decision was to be where I am. I was planning on telling him in person, but he isn't back until tomorrow and I didn't want to wait. I'm glad I emailed him and so glad he called. He has known that I am 'torn' between two places for quite some time and he knows it has been difficult trying to 'decide' where to be. And he has been exceedingly supportive and patient while I thought it all through and decided what to do. And the obvious pleasure in his voice said it all - he's relieved and glad I'm staying where I'm at.

I received a followup email from my former boss this evening, saying he thought the decision was well thought out - and wishing me well. He closed with 'take care' - which is the closing I use when I have no intention of speaking to someone any time soon. I hope that's not the case in this example, but I realize we won't be corresponding frequently. No need to.

I made the decision that is best for me and my family...it is not the decision that simplified my former boss' life. But I know they will be fine. They will find the right person for their new job. It just won't be me.

I'm not sad about it, which feels good. I have been torn up for 7 months about 'what to do'. And I'm done with that. I know what I'm doing, where I'm doing it and with whom. And I fully expect to retire from this district in 8 years. Though if I'm loving what I'm doing and the job is still fun, I'll stay longer. We'll just have to see how it turns out.

Farewell, LP College. I love you and miss you and accept that I probably always will.