Secret

I'm going to tell you a secret (or two). Maybe 3.

Driving home tonight, the moon was bright and huge. A full moon and bright enough to make the car lights and street lights look dim.

When I was little, I thought the 'face' on the moon -the man in the moon - was my dad. I always felt it was all going to be OK 'cuz he was up there watching out for us - for me. I still had that feeling of safeness on the way home tonight, looking at the bright moon.

I also dreamed that I had the Pillsbury dough boy and Dumbo the Flying Elephant in a shoe box under my bed. They were my 'best friends'. Cute and fun and completely happy to stay under the bed until I was ready to bring them out to play.

And, I dreamed I could fly all the time when I was a kid. Pretty much every night. I would take a running start and just lift off and while all my friends and my little sister were on the ground playing tag, I was playing tag in the air. I would zoom around watching them though they (oddly) never seemed to notice I was flying.

Lastly - my dad would frequently come visit us (me and my little sister) in our room after he died. He would always sit at the foot of my sister's bed - never mine. I guess 'cuz he knew I was awake? Anyway, he would sit there and watch us for awhile. He didn't really look like himself - he was a 'spirit' - white, and sort of 'lumpy'. I was terrified. But I would wait quietly while he sat there. He would never approach me but he would sit for awhile - or stand in the doorway. One night, he waved at me as he left - and then he didn't come back anymore. Which I was fine with because while I missed him, I was scared and really didn't want to 'see' him like that. I've always felt a little guilty about that - that I was so afraid of him. But he was a ghost and it's pretty hard not to be afraid of a ghost.

Strange the things you remember from when you were young.