Ketchup

J. is a hoarder. You wouldn't know it to look at him - he appears perfectly normal on the outside. But inside, he is completely panic stricken about running out of condiments. I'm not talking the bottle of ketchup or mustard you have in your fridge. Oh no - I'm talking about the little packets of soy sauce, dipping sauces, taco sauces, etc. that you get when you eat fast food. [Which we don't very often, honest]. They are everywhere at times - I find little bins of them tucked into the dark recesses of the pantry. Fermenting. Aging. J. will not part with them. "They're hermetically sealed and perfectly good", he says as he removes a tub full from my clutches.

A well known fast-food restaurant serving tacos started bottling their sauce - and now, J. refills the taco sauce bottle from the little packets of sauce. I bought the bottled sauce at the request of the kids, who like their father, think ketchup is a vegetable. The fact they were asking for something other than ketchup prompted me to give in and buy the sauce. The first time J. refilled the taco sauce bottle from the packets, I just sort of rolled my eyes and thought 'the man has reached a new low in condiment hoarding'. But, you know, he just saved $2.69 by doing that. So now, I must confess - I refilled it the other day, too. From the packets. Shamelessly. I mean, it's the same stuff. Why pay for it? We now have a never-empty taco sauce bottle permanently in the fridge door.

I'll await the fast food police - I'm sure there's a law against this that we just don't know about.