Shock

Yesterday, I heard from my sister K. who I mentioned in an earlier post. We are keeping our promise to stay in touch. So at work yesterday, I checked my home email briefly (very briefly, if my boss ever reads this blog). A note from K. said 'Hi - are you there'? So I wrote her back that I was. About 15 minutes later, another email from Kath - this one containing a draft of an email she said she would be sending out shortly. In this email, she explained that she and her hubby had been having a difficult time for some time - and had decided to divorce. I couldn't believe it. Still can't really fathom it. When I first read that sentence, I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I had to go back to the note she wrote before the draft - to be sure the email I was reading was from her. I sat at my desk shaking - because honestly, I just can't believe it. K. and her husband M. have been married since I was TWELVE YEARS OLD - 33 years. They were married in the livingroom of our house by an Arizona Supreme Court judge who is still a family friend. Their marriage ending is like some natural disaster in my head that I just can't get my psyche around. K. insists she is fine. She is moving out of their home this week into a tiny apartment. She says 'he says he doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to be married anymore. He's very unhappy and I want him to be OK'. So she's moving on. Just like that. Though she said it's been coming for 3+ years. I asked her 'why didn't you say anything in Florida'. She said 'because nothing had been decided. We've been to therapy, he's being treated for depression - but he's not happy. So I'm done'.

It's sad. They were so incredibly in love. I mean really, really in love. Every morning for most of their married life, M. would make her a 'card' that he'd tape to her coffee mug. Little pictures and sayings - everyday for every occasion. K. has all of them in scrapbooks. Little works of art (M. is an artist) that show how much he loved her. EVERY DAY - without fail. Years and years of these tokens. When I asked her in Florida if he still did that, she said 'no'. And I teased her 'well that's it then, the bloom is definitely off the marriage'. Just joking. And she laughed. I had no idea....