Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Panic

Dressed, showered and heading out the door momentarily - it's just after 6AM. I had one last 'panic' item on my list of panic items - this one a biggie.

We are attending a black tie formal wedding this weekend. J. rented a tux, which tells you the significance of the event 'cuz while he looks smashing in a tux (and I'll be pondering illicit activities all evening at the sight of him in one), we are not 'formal wear' people. He rented a tux, which is what guys do. Alterations, fittings, shoes, etc. are all taken care of in one nice stop. He asked the store (there's only a couple small places in town where a guy can rent a tux and this place isn't a 'formal wear' shop, it's a 'men's wear' shop) if they did alterations of ladies clothing and the clerk advised him, no, but such and such place does, but gee, your wife had better hurry. You think? So guys just go in, get fitted and viola! they are formalized - just like that.

Not true for us ladies. I have two dresses hanging on the door frame of the guest room upstairs. I ordered two sizes to be safe. And one fits, and looks pretty - but alterations are required because I'm a 'low of stature' person and these dresses are cut for basketball playing women, apparently. And since I've worked 26 of the last 28 calendar days, I haven't had a lot of time to get alterations taken care of - and it's not something 'quick' when it's a floor length gown and they'll have to detach the waist to shorten the hem. Yikes.

I have had a fair amount of panic these past few days as I realize the date is HERE and I have NOTHING to wear. So I just did some additional online shopping, found a suitable floor length gown with a suitable 'jacket' and ordered it in my size, 'petite'. And paid $55 shipping to get it here by Friday. I'm desperate. That desperate. I ordered a clutch handbag in two colors (in case I figure out how to wear the first dress, which is a mocha color) and a 'shaping' undergarment to tuck in all my mushy pieces. I'll have to get hose and shoes on Saturday - the website sold pantyhose in packs of 3 and since I NEVER wear hose, I'm not buying 3 pairs when I only need one. I don't even need a spare 'cuz it's a long gown and I could be wearing long underwear underneath and no one would know.

I tried to weasel out of going. There was whining, yes, I admit it. I am tired and exhausted and getting all dolled up and driving a significant distance in clothes I won't say I'll be comfortable in on a 3-day weekend (and I do hope to actually take a day or two off this weekend, God willing) isn't something I'm relishing. But my sweet love said 'honey, I really want my coworkers, boss, etc. to meet you and get to know you. I want to show you off'. So how can a girl not go when her guy is asking so sweetly?

I hope this mad dash package gets here in time ....and that it's an 'OK' dress. And it's a 'mother of the bride' kind of look so I could, theoretically, even wear it again someday at my son's wedding. Possibly. And we do have another evening wedding coming up (Hi, Bug!) so I might even wear it again next month. Maybe I should have ordered the 3 pack of hose.

PS

You know it's early when you're up and have had your first cup of coffee before you've received your 'SAT Question of the Day' in your email in box. I subscribed to some SAT updates for B. and added my email to the account also so now we both get our 'quiz' question daily. I'm 3 of 4 correct so far this week. We are signing B. up to take the SAT and ACT this year, and then again next year. His counselor recommended it - since he did so well on his PSAT last year, she said he should just take the test and colleges will include the highest score he submits. I told her he didn't even prepare for the PSAT - he never opened the test booklet to practice - so with a little study and prep, he'll do even better, we hope, on the actual tests. So we're signing him up and buying the 'study guide'.

OK, now it's almost 5, and I feel like I'm 'late', for some reason..so I really am getting ready for work now. Really. Yes, I am. OK, after one more cup of coffee and after I move the load of towels from the washer to the dryer. I thought I'd help J. with laundry only there's nothing much to wash - my king, my hero.

King

I rhapsodized in my last post about my 'behind the scenes' activities around here and completely neglected to acknowledge my better half, my partner in crime (tee hee), my soul mate who also does a gazillion things around here everyday and gets very little credit for them.

He is the LAUNDRY KING, my friends. He sorts, pretreats, washes, folds, puts away, hangs, irons - oh yes, he does. He's a whiz at the 15 second t-shirt folding method and keeps all our drawers neat and tidy with completely even, uniformly folded underwear, shirts, pants, etc. I don't think he likes doing laundry - who does? But he does it faithfully every weekend - load after load after never-ending load. This weekend, he started bright and early Saturday morning and he washed every blooming thing in this house by the time 60 Minutes started on Sunday evening. He told both boys 'there is nothing unwashed - so if you're looking for something, check your closet or your dresser 'cuz it's not in a hamper. There is NOTHING in any hamper'. He's the laundry zen-master and I'm lucky to have him (so lucky, for too many reasons to list here).

He is also the guy responsible for helping with getting the recycling out to the curb every other week. And that's not easy in this house 'cuz I am a FREAK about recycling. We recycle EVERYTHING - and anything that can be recycled gets put into various bins, etc. in the garage or out in the giant bin everyday. We are consumers and therefore, we consume - a lot...drinks, products in cardboard boxes like cereal, pasta, etc. It is a big job and by the night before the every two week pickup, the garage is littered with boxes ready to be cut down and put in the bin; bins of plastic bottles, soup cans, soda cans, etc.

We are frugal enough that we separate out cash value items (soda cans, bottles, glass, milk jugs, etc. ) and take those to a recycling center. This past Saturday, J. netted $32 from our recycling efforts...it's a lot of work to sort, and they certainly take up garage space in between visits to the recycle center, but recouping our CRV is important and worth it to me. It also saves people going through your recycle bin every Tuesday evening or Wednesday morning trying to find items they can recycle. We don't have any - and after they looked the first time, they don't check anymore. Anything with a cash value, we leave out of the pickup bins.

I also shred everything and anything with any personal information on it - yes, I'm that 'cautious' about trash. It is a time consuming process and I often wish I could afford to pay a company to come do it for me - like at my old corporate job, with the locked blue bins. The company came every couple weeks, rolled the bins out to their truck and shredded on the spot. Oh, how blissful that would be. Me, I use a small, though fairly decent shredder from Costco (where else?) and shred away. Then I bag the shred in clear bags and put with the recycling, hoping that shredded stuff ends up in a recycle bin somewhere vs. in the landfill, though I'm never really sure that's what they're going to do with it. But they hopefully will.

I shred a gazillion pieces of junk mail every week. I carefully remove all the items, and anything with personal info goes into the shred bin. I even tear off the address portion of things and put that small section in my shred bin (under my desk) and the rest of the mailing goes in my recycling tray to be taken out to our recycle bin. It takes forever. But I don't want to spend time shredding things I don't need to - and I don't want to just toss things with my name and address on them into the recycle bin. It's odd, I know. And I'm not sure if it really matters - but identity theft is not something I ever want to experience first hand and I do everything I can to protect us.

Since J.'s dad died, we're also getting mail for him - since J. is a Junior, it's inevitable. All kinds of magazine offers, insurance offers, financial advice offers, etc. Things I'm POSITIVE are really meant for J.'s dad - like a 'Fallen Heroes' DVD offer, complete with a 'sample' DVD that I had to mail back to them since we don't want it. And I don't want to note 'deceased' and just return it 'cuz J. isn't deceased (thank you, God) and I don't want to spend time writing a letter to a junk mail company or mass marketing firm to explain that they have the wrong J. - the J. you want is in heaven with his wife and my J. isn't interested in Fallen Heroes, or fallen anything, 'kay? So I now get twice as much junk mail to deal with. Yikes.

SO, it's 4:40am and I'm heading up to shower and get ready for work. The days have been long but productive and satisfying. School is in full swing again and the sound of kids playing and laughing and being kids is nice after the quiet of summer vacation. Schools are made to be full of kids and an empty school is kind of a lonely place. But they return, as kids do and I get to watch them at PE or at recess and enjoy their antics and their 'kid-ness'. It's a great distraction during long days and it's also a great reminder of why I'm working so hard. It helps to have that 'tangible benefit' of seeing them everyday, enjoying their school and their friends and their life. I love that part of the job...and remind myself everyday 'it's for the kids'.

I'm heading to a meeting in Stockton this morning and hope to wedge in 15 minutes to stop by Trader Joe's and pick up some Tea Java. I'm out and that's not a good thing - though I have enjoyed the 'excuse' to return to Starbucks daily for tea. But, they've raised their prices again and I just can't rationalize spending that much $$ on tea. Just can't do it....not when there's Tea Java in the world that is just as refreshing and tastes great!




Monday, August 27, 2007

Behind the Scenes

A quick post before heading to work - it's not even 6 yet. Much to do, much to do.

There are many things I do around here that are behind the scenes. I consider myself a sort of 'good fairy' who goes around looking for things that need doing and takes care of them. There's always toilet paper on the holder and plenty of back stock in various bathroom cupboards and the garage. The small, teeny bits of soap magically disappear and a new, fresh bar of soap appears in their place. Shampoos, conditioners always at the ready.

This morning, I noticed the boy's shampoo and conditioner was running low. No problem, I thought. I'll just swap them out for the two refills under the sink (which I'd noticed earlier this week while searching for body lotion). Only, apparently the last time I refilled their conditioner, I'd done the same thing I thought I'd do this morning: just replace the almost empty with the full and I'd rinse out and transfer the remaining conditioner from the old to the new bottle later 'when I have time'. SO what I really had were two, old, not all that full bottles. I combined them. I'm frugal that way. And the shampoo refill was a giant, impossible to manage in the shower with slippery hands flip-top version, which I judiciously poured into the pump container. So that's done. I'm careful about keeping shampoo and conditioner stocked and ready 'cuz if I don't, they'll resort to one of two options: using Mom's really expensive shampoo and conditioner or not using anything at all. Neither a good choice.

Like most things we buy for the care and feeding of the boys, everything is jumbo size. Toilet paper is bought in massive quantities at Costco, as are bath soap, shampoo, conditioner, deodorants, lotions, toothpaste, etc. I'm never really convinced Costco's prices are better than Target - but at least it's done, all at once and we never run out.

I like doing the 'little' things that they probably never notice. Someday, they will. Someday, they'll be in a dorm or their apartment and realize they have no toilet paper anywhere or no shampoo. And they'll think 'why didn't this ever happen when I lived at home?' And they'll realize 'it was Mom. That's why'. And they'll smile. As they're swearing about there being no toilet paper. And they'll start learning to take care of 'behind the scenes' stuff themselves. I hope.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Nothing

I've got nothing to say at the moment. Plenty of posts ruminating in my head but no time to put them on 'paper' via blogging. Worked a full day yesterday and again today. I'm too pooped to write. This is going to be an incredibly long week.

J. is making me a hamburger and then we'll probably go to Modesto - I still have to figure out what I'll be wearing to next weekend's formal 'black tie' wedding, if I go. At this point, I'm inclined to let J. wear his tux and go 'stag'. But we'll see. Hopefully, I'll figure something out.

Talk to you on the flip side of the year end process. If I survive.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Banking

I am suspicious by nature. I question everything. I'm good at it. I used to manage attorneys so I know when I'm being BS'd and how to 'dig' and get to the 'core root' of issues. I take nothing at face value.

And it worries me considerably, as an average US citizen, when a major bank 'invests' $2B in the country's largest mortgage holder on the same day that same major bank borrowed $500M from the federal reserve bank.

I don't think a major bank needing to borrow cash should be investing in a mortgage company that's on the brink of disaster.

And I also wonder why it is that as soon as the investment in the mortgage company was announced, the 'article' on the online news regarding the bank borrowing from the Federal Reserve Bank mysteriously moved 'off the charts'. I refound it just now but had to look pretty hard for it.

Something's not right in our economy, folks. Seriously not right. And someone, somewhere, is making efforts to make that as 'not obvious' as possible so that people won't notice.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Something

This post has been building for some time. I just have to write this. No, to those who read this and know me - I'm not losing it. I'm not. But I need to write this so it's known.

There's something happening to me, in my heart. This relationship with God is real for me. I don't know what His plan is for me or why it's taken 47 years for me to feel like this about Him. But I do. And I can't ignore this anymore.

There is a reason for this. I don't know the reason yet, and maybe I never will. Maybe it's just enough for me to put it out there into the blogosphere. So that those of you who read and know me will know that I know something is going to happen - something. God is urging me to draw ever closer to Him and while I question it and try to ignore it, I can't. He is with me every second of every day in a way that I've never experienced before. And it scares the crap out of me but at the same time, it makes me peaceful and so incredibly joy-filled, I honestly can't put it into words. I don't know what changes are afoot - I wish I did. I just know that there's a reason this 'calling' is happening and I have to listen. And do what He's asking, which at the moment seems to be 'trust Me'. So I am.

There are many songs I listen to now that I can't hear without tears. Some remind me of the kids. Some remind me of Jesus' sacrifice and His love for me - and for my family and friends. Some just fill me up to the brim with emotions that I've never had before - in this relationship with God that I've always had just under the surface but apparently, was never open enough to accept. I'm listening to "Mercy Reigns" at the moment with a smile on my lips and tears running down my cheeks.

I don't know what the 'something' is. I hope it's as joy-filled as it feels. There is more joy in my heart than I've ever known....like an ever-growing happiness and peace that just gets bigger and bigger everyday. I keep trying to 'lessen' it somehow. But the more I try to squash it, the bigger it gets. I'm not sure I 'get' it and I know I'm not explaining it well. It's truly the first indescribable feeling I've ever had. And it isn't something I was 'looking' for...or hoping for.
It's not like I have these feelings because I'm lacking something else - and that's what makes it so incredible to me, even more so. Because I know these feelings ARE God in my life. I'm not 'searching' or seeking or hoping to 'feel' him. I DO feel him. Everyday. In everything I do, in all I am. And I just can't get over that.

I just want all who read this blog to know: Jesus is Lord. I know that. And whatever is happening, it's all good. It's all OK. I will be fine. We will be fine. I know that.

When you see me again, I won't be noisy about this. That's not me. I've been quietly faithful my entire life. I won't become someone who irritates the heck out of people. More than anything, I just want it 'known' that this is what's happening to me - this is where my heart is. Because you never know. I want those around me to know that it - whatever 'it' is - it's all OK. I know that with every ounce of my being.

J., when you read this, there is no 'issue' that needs K's intervention. I'm great. Really great. And I'm not going to become an annoying Christian. I'm just going to continue to be your (occasionally) annoying wife and I'm so happy you are on this faith journey with me. And I love you very much. Just sayin'.

Your mercy reigns
Your mercy comes
Your mercy falls
and rises with the sun
Your mercy reigns
Your mercy comes
Your mercy falls
and rises with the sun

its new every morning
its new every morning
its good enough for me

"Mercy Reigns"
Shane & Shane


Tales of Helpers

Our cleaning lady D. is here today - she wears earbuds and chats on the phone while she works.  She is the third cleaning 'person(s)...