For Christmas, J. gave me a bauble. I like baubles. He knows I like them. The best part is that he lets me pick them out - so he KNOWS I will LOVE it.
My latest addition to my growing bling collection is a Jeanine Payer ring that reads: The experience of this sweet life. It is gold and silver with a floating diamond on the bottom band. You can see it at sundancecatalog.com if you're interested.
I love this ring for what it says. A daily reminder to be thankful for this sweet life. Be thankful for all my blessings. J. and the kids and our life. It is a wonderfully sweet life I am living...and I love having that statement on the middle finger of my right hand all the time to remind me. Pleasant to look at on days like today when the sweetness of this life is overwhelming. And handy to look at on days when it feels not-so-sweet - when I'm tired, stressed, overwhelmed, wishing for some alone time. Those days happen. But the ring will help remind me that sweetness prevails. I just have to let it in.
Hope your life is sweet and the sweetness grows. If you think it isn't, keep looking. You'll find it. Sometimes it takes time. But it's there.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Survived
Christmas is over. We made it. The day before felt like a long, drawn out panic attack. Too much - too much to do, too much to plan. And then, the evening traditions fell apart - the Santa Clause movie was MISSING. As in nowhere to be found. Personally, I think we tossed the VHS version thinking we had it on DVD - but we either don't have it on DVD OR we had it and have misplaced it. We searched high and low with no success. B. is just SO locked into his traditions - he was freaking out. Generally making us all miserable about it. So we made a trip to Blockbuster in search of the movie and they didn't have it either. We drove around looking at lights (and the kids were shocked and seemed upset when I shared that we started that tradition as a way to get them sleepy so they'd go to bed earlier) and then had cocoa and went to bed. J. and I were still up until after midnight wrapping and doing the 'Santa' thing. I fretted that it didn't look like much under the tree.
When the kids were little, J. would take them to Visalia to visit his folks the day after Thanksgiving. I would have everything purchased and spend the entire Thanksgiving weekend wrapping - so it was ALL done by December 1st. My co-workers were always so impressed and amazed - and in hindsight, it's probably one of the few REALLY organized things I consistently did. Those days are over - no Visalia visits anymore and I seem to shop until the last minute. Then spend hours wrapping. Thankfully, J. helps a lot - he has this entire 'code' system worked out so I can sign the Santa presents (I've been perfecting that signature for close to 15 years now and have it pretty well mastered) and label them with the names of the recipient. Two upstairs rooms become wrapping central - and still look like a tornado hit them.
Christmas morning was fun. Both boys up early and in good spirits. Patienly waited for me and let me sleep in until almost NINE - amazing. The gifts were a big hit - especially the scavenger hunt for $$. We owed them allowance and added some Christmas money - so they both got a 'windfall' and had to read clues and hunt for it. They had fun. It was a great morning. The boys headed to the game room for Playstation - they each got a new game and Santa left a game for the two of them as well. Santa also left the family a real clay poker chip set and a poker table set. We plan to have a poker night this week and try to wedge in a family game night every week or so.
Today, we will work hard on getting the house back to 'normal' (or our version of normal, anyway). Some order will be returned. We will start culling out closets for the year-end donations to Goodwill. We will eat leftovers, enjoy our gifts and hang out at home. Tomorrow, the first wave of extended family arrive in the area - followed by another wave on Thursday. I'm counting down the vacation days left - and they are flying by, as expected.
Hope your holidays are proceeding happily. Enjoy.
When the kids were little, J. would take them to Visalia to visit his folks the day after Thanksgiving. I would have everything purchased and spend the entire Thanksgiving weekend wrapping - so it was ALL done by December 1st. My co-workers were always so impressed and amazed - and in hindsight, it's probably one of the few REALLY organized things I consistently did. Those days are over - no Visalia visits anymore and I seem to shop until the last minute. Then spend hours wrapping. Thankfully, J. helps a lot - he has this entire 'code' system worked out so I can sign the Santa presents (I've been perfecting that signature for close to 15 years now and have it pretty well mastered) and label them with the names of the recipient. Two upstairs rooms become wrapping central - and still look like a tornado hit them.
Christmas morning was fun. Both boys up early and in good spirits. Patienly waited for me and let me sleep in until almost NINE - amazing. The gifts were a big hit - especially the scavenger hunt for $$. We owed them allowance and added some Christmas money - so they both got a 'windfall' and had to read clues and hunt for it. They had fun. It was a great morning. The boys headed to the game room for Playstation - they each got a new game and Santa left a game for the two of them as well. Santa also left the family a real clay poker chip set and a poker table set. We plan to have a poker night this week and try to wedge in a family game night every week or so.
Today, we will work hard on getting the house back to 'normal' (or our version of normal, anyway). Some order will be returned. We will start culling out closets for the year-end donations to Goodwill. We will eat leftovers, enjoy our gifts and hang out at home. Tomorrow, the first wave of extended family arrive in the area - followed by another wave on Thursday. I'm counting down the vacation days left - and they are flying by, as expected.
Hope your holidays are proceeding happily. Enjoy.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Whirlwind
It's the season when the days fly by. Can't keep up. Behind at home. Behind at work. Being behind at work doesn't stop me from taking a weeks vacation in addition to the 'closure days' - but it did make me go in yesterday when I was supposed to be off. The closure days are WONDERFUL 'cuz you no noone else will be there, either. So what needs to wait will wait - and noone will care. LOVE THAT!
AND I caught the cold going around our house - last week was H. This week, B. was hit and had to keep going since he had finals all week. Yesterday afternoon, after I left work, it started. Sore throat, achy, headache. Lovely.
We leave for Disneyland tomorrow. We opened the Santa package left under the tree last Monday (when he was in the neighborhood for H's school performance). I always forget the camera - their faces were priceless. First the realization that we're going to Disneyland - then the absolute rapture/shock that we're going TOMORROW. They are over the moon excited. And are trying to help us get ready. We'll take the dogs to the kennel this afternoon and be packed up and ready to walk out the door (hopefully) tomorrow morning fairly early.
My sister K. is doing OK. Yesterday was their 33rd wedding anniversary and it sounds like it hit them both very hard. She is doing the best she can - one day at a time. She's learning to do so many things she's always relied on M. to do - de-icing the cars, the sidewalks. Grocery shopping. Little things that M. has always done and now it's all up to her. But she's doing fine - she's a tough cookie. I'm sending her a package of stuff for Christmas - spoiling her this year 'cuz she deserves it. She ALWAYS deserves it - but this year especially. Wish we lived closer so she could spend some of her time off with us. But she wants to tackle this 'being alone' thing head-on - so she's spending her 11 days off alone. Friends to see, things to do. Sleeping when she wants to, crying when she needs to. She'll be fine.
More soon - probably not until we get home from Disneyland. The 2nd surprise for the kids will be revealed when we meet my sister P. and her husband at the Rain Forest Cafe tomorrow night for dinner. The kids have NO IDEA their beloved aunt & uncle are joining us from Arizona - and are going to be even MORE excited when they see them. I can't wait and WILL have the camera ready for those shots!
AND I caught the cold going around our house - last week was H. This week, B. was hit and had to keep going since he had finals all week. Yesterday afternoon, after I left work, it started. Sore throat, achy, headache. Lovely.
We leave for Disneyland tomorrow. We opened the Santa package left under the tree last Monday (when he was in the neighborhood for H's school performance). I always forget the camera - their faces were priceless. First the realization that we're going to Disneyland - then the absolute rapture/shock that we're going TOMORROW. They are over the moon excited. And are trying to help us get ready. We'll take the dogs to the kennel this afternoon and be packed up and ready to walk out the door (hopefully) tomorrow morning fairly early.
My sister K. is doing OK. Yesterday was their 33rd wedding anniversary and it sounds like it hit them both very hard. She is doing the best she can - one day at a time. She's learning to do so many things she's always relied on M. to do - de-icing the cars, the sidewalks. Grocery shopping. Little things that M. has always done and now it's all up to her. But she's doing fine - she's a tough cookie. I'm sending her a package of stuff for Christmas - spoiling her this year 'cuz she deserves it. She ALWAYS deserves it - but this year especially. Wish we lived closer so she could spend some of her time off with us. But she wants to tackle this 'being alone' thing head-on - so she's spending her 11 days off alone. Friends to see, things to do. Sleeping when she wants to, crying when she needs to. She'll be fine.
More soon - probably not until we get home from Disneyland. The 2nd surprise for the kids will be revealed when we meet my sister P. and her husband at the Rain Forest Cafe tomorrow night for dinner. The kids have NO IDEA their beloved aunt & uncle are joining us from Arizona - and are going to be even MORE excited when they see them. I can't wait and WILL have the camera ready for those shots!
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Monday
It is now the Sunday after Thanksgiving and frankly, I'm in shock. Tuesday evening found us all staring in wonder at the glorious five days that lay before us. Yes, they would be busy days - preparing a big meal, welcoming family to our home. But the exhiliration and joy in this house on Tuesday evening was obvious. Five amazing days stretched out before us and we were elated and set about undwinding.
But now, it is Sunday evening just after 7 and the full reality that TOMORROW IS MONDAY is in full swing. We have ingested Costco pizza for dinner. B. is doing homework in the livingroom - homework which was never mentioned and we had no idea he had to do. And I can't be upset with him for that 'cuz I HAVE A GIANT BOX AND TOTE BAG FULL of stuff I was going to do for work - and in fact one thing that I REALLY HAVE TO DO for Monday. But here I am - blogging instead. I will get up really early and work on it before I leave the house or leave pre-dawn for work and work there.
I remind myself that we all need downtime. We need to give ourselves permission to 'DO NOTHING' - and that's pretty much what we did all weekend. And thankfully, we only have three weeks of work and school before we get SEVENTEEN days off for Christmas. And I have a lot of 'plans' for that time off as well. And undoubtedly, that time will fly by also and there will be another evening where I realize that I didn't accomplish what I planned to/wanted to/needed to. And I'm fine with that. I embrace my 'slothness'. I'm good at it and sometimes, I just need it.
But now, it is Sunday evening just after 7 and the full reality that TOMORROW IS MONDAY is in full swing. We have ingested Costco pizza for dinner. B. is doing homework in the livingroom - homework which was never mentioned and we had no idea he had to do. And I can't be upset with him for that 'cuz I HAVE A GIANT BOX AND TOTE BAG FULL of stuff I was going to do for work - and in fact one thing that I REALLY HAVE TO DO for Monday. But here I am - blogging instead. I will get up really early and work on it before I leave the house or leave pre-dawn for work and work there.
I remind myself that we all need downtime. We need to give ourselves permission to 'DO NOTHING' - and that's pretty much what we did all weekend. And thankfully, we only have three weeks of work and school before we get SEVENTEEN days off for Christmas. And I have a lot of 'plans' for that time off as well. And undoubtedly, that time will fly by also and there will be another evening where I realize that I didn't accomplish what I planned to/wanted to/needed to. And I'm fine with that. I embrace my 'slothness'. I'm good at it and sometimes, I just need it.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Work
I was in the corporate world for 20+ years and was with my last company for 12 years. When I left my last corporate job, I couldn't bring myself to go back to that world - to working my heart out so someone else (the CEO or whomever) would be able to buy an island in the Bahamas off the profits made from stock while the company crumbled around the peons that did all the work. Been there, done that. (And a major 'high up' person in the company I worked for DID buy an island and leave the continental US shortly after reassuring the senior 'middle managers' [me included] that all was well and we would weather our current storm). Pictures of the island available on request.
Anyway, I now work for a college. And life is so much more satisfying. Still frustrations at times. People can be jerks sometimes no matter what 'type' of place you work at. But for the most part, my days are spent working really hard for not a lot of money with people who are without a doubt the most dedicated, goal oriented and driven folks I've ever met. Everyone is there because they love what they do. Most have been in education their entire careers. Teachers who have moved into administration. Students who have returned to teach. Support staff who've been there since the school opened. And a few like me - looking for something different.
Committee driven. Union environment. Nothing is done without a whole lot of discussion and time spent debating every little thing. Hard to get used to. Sometimes long for the day when a decision would be made and people were told to do it - and it got done. Decisions at the school still get made - but the process takes a lot longer.
Still, I love what I do and how I spend my days now. With the exception of the morning commute, it's a dream job. When I walk from my car to my office every morning, I say good morning to the birds happily residing in the many trees. Or hello to the bunnies living in the shrubs all over campus. I remind the bunnies that if Stan (the head groundskeeper) finds them eating his petunias, they're going to end up in stew by evening. (Stan would NEVER do that - but I warn the bunnies anyway 'cuz eating the flowers is not something Stan would approve of - though I'm secretly happy that they are treating themselves to what are obviously delicious blossoms). When I walk around the campus for business or pleasure, I enjoy the rolling hills with cows and vineyards. The open space. The incredible beauty of the surroundings is such a stark contrast to the miles of cement and buildings where I spent so much of my corporate time. It's good for my soul to be in a place that seems miles away from the city (though it's just down the hill). Walking is a treat - there are 'secret' paths that make you feel like you're in the country, far far away from your 'normal' life.
It's a happy place to be, with fun people. It's a joy, really. And I never would have thought I'd ever say that about going to work everyday. But I do - 'cuz it is. Pure joy.
Anyway, I now work for a college. And life is so much more satisfying. Still frustrations at times. People can be jerks sometimes no matter what 'type' of place you work at. But for the most part, my days are spent working really hard for not a lot of money with people who are without a doubt the most dedicated, goal oriented and driven folks I've ever met. Everyone is there because they love what they do. Most have been in education their entire careers. Teachers who have moved into administration. Students who have returned to teach. Support staff who've been there since the school opened. And a few like me - looking for something different.
Committee driven. Union environment. Nothing is done without a whole lot of discussion and time spent debating every little thing. Hard to get used to. Sometimes long for the day when a decision would be made and people were told to do it - and it got done. Decisions at the school still get made - but the process takes a lot longer.
Still, I love what I do and how I spend my days now. With the exception of the morning commute, it's a dream job. When I walk from my car to my office every morning, I say good morning to the birds happily residing in the many trees. Or hello to the bunnies living in the shrubs all over campus. I remind the bunnies that if Stan (the head groundskeeper) finds them eating his petunias, they're going to end up in stew by evening. (Stan would NEVER do that - but I warn the bunnies anyway 'cuz eating the flowers is not something Stan would approve of - though I'm secretly happy that they are treating themselves to what are obviously delicious blossoms). When I walk around the campus for business or pleasure, I enjoy the rolling hills with cows and vineyards. The open space. The incredible beauty of the surroundings is such a stark contrast to the miles of cement and buildings where I spent so much of my corporate time. It's good for my soul to be in a place that seems miles away from the city (though it's just down the hill). Walking is a treat - there are 'secret' paths that make you feel like you're in the country, far far away from your 'normal' life.
It's a happy place to be, with fun people. It's a joy, really. And I never would have thought I'd ever say that about going to work everyday. But I do - 'cuz it is. Pure joy.
Sundays
We have started attending a Lutheran church in our city. Recommended by friends. We all enjoy it. A contemporary service with upbeat, sing-along-able Christian music. Communion every other week (which we don't participate in 'cuz we aren't officially members of the church, yet). The boys enjoy it and attend service with us.
I like that the boys 'need' faith and are seeking it out. They suggested we start attending - they have attended with their friends on Sundays after sleepovers. The church is very welcoming and we feel very lucky to have found it. It is traditional without being stifling or stuffy. I don't feel compelled to wear a dress. I do 'dress up' a bit - but the boys wear what they choose - jeans and collared shirts are completely fine and they fit right in with all the other kids in attendance. Jim doesn't have to (nor does he) wear a tie. It's comfortable. And not too, too long. The service itself last just slightly over an hour. Like a Catholic mass. Short and sweet. We enjoy the sermons and both Jim and I have commented to each other how we listen and we 'get it'. Not like when you're a kid and going and you can't really understand it - possibly 'cuz you don't have a lot of life experience to relate the preaching to. But now, we listen and we get it. And we always leave feeling a bit more 'connected' to life and each other and faith.
We haven't been lately since we've been out of town so much after Dad's death. But we're all hoping to go this weekend - we're looking forward to it, even. Personally, I think the kids are most looking forward to the donuts and mochas after the service in the social hall. But I think they also look forward to some quiet time to contemplate God and life and faith. And I look forward to all four of us at the same place at the same time, which doesn't happen a lot lately.
I like that the boys 'need' faith and are seeking it out. They suggested we start attending - they have attended with their friends on Sundays after sleepovers. The church is very welcoming and we feel very lucky to have found it. It is traditional without being stifling or stuffy. I don't feel compelled to wear a dress. I do 'dress up' a bit - but the boys wear what they choose - jeans and collared shirts are completely fine and they fit right in with all the other kids in attendance. Jim doesn't have to (nor does he) wear a tie. It's comfortable. And not too, too long. The service itself last just slightly over an hour. Like a Catholic mass. Short and sweet. We enjoy the sermons and both Jim and I have commented to each other how we listen and we 'get it'. Not like when you're a kid and going and you can't really understand it - possibly 'cuz you don't have a lot of life experience to relate the preaching to. But now, we listen and we get it. And we always leave feeling a bit more 'connected' to life and each other and faith.
We haven't been lately since we've been out of town so much after Dad's death. But we're all hoping to go this weekend - we're looking forward to it, even. Personally, I think the kids are most looking forward to the donuts and mochas after the service in the social hall. But I think they also look forward to some quiet time to contemplate God and life and faith. And I look forward to all four of us at the same place at the same time, which doesn't happen a lot lately.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Christmas
I'll start this post with I LOVE CHRISTMAS. LOVE IT. Love it even more now that I work at a school where we get a LOT of days off as 'closure days' - they don't count against our vacation. The campus is closed, so we're off those days. So I enjoy the week between Christmas and New Years off. Love that A LOT!
Yesterday, I tossed the Toys 'R Us ad into the recycle bin without even glancing at it. A milestone of sorts. Acknowledging that there isn't a single thing in that ad which would even remotely interest either of my kids. They are WAY past the TrU phase of their lives. Best Buy? Yes. Big 5? Probably. Target? Possibly, if it's in electronics. Their wants this year are BIG and expensive. No longer can I fill up under the tree with lots of smaller fun toys. Now, their toys are snowboards, drum sets, ski clothes, ski passes, MP3 players, etc. I long for the days when bunches of $20 toys would fill up the tree and keep them playing for hours. Now, the gifts are so big and pricey - so there's not much actually under the tree - mainly 'cuz it won't fit there. I am resorting to the old standbys of buying them socks and underwear and any other 'basic' items I can think of that they need - something to put under the tree that costs less than $200.
I know they won't be disappointed. They understand that their growing up to really expensive presents means one big present/year. That's it. They know to choose carefully 'cuz their 'wish list' of numerous expensive things won't be filled. Some will need to be carried over for Birthdays...or to ask relatives who inquire to send $$ towards a specific item. Still, I can't not have a lot under the tree. Christmas morning has to be BIG - a shock between how the tree looked when they went to bed and how it looks when they wake up. That's Christmas. But every year, it get's harder to get that 'wow' factor - and this year will be no exception.
We have a great Christmas full of great traditions. Watching 'The Santa Clause' on Christmas eve after we've driven around looking at lights. Hot cocoa made from 'scratch' - with cocoa powder, sugar, milk - warmed and whipped on the stove. Bed as early as we can get them there. Waking up at the crack of dawn. It's always lots of fun. I just hope they aren't disappointed with the few big things under the tree. My mom always made Christmas 'magical' for me and my sister and I do the same for my kids. It's just getting harder as they get older to amaze them. But we'll try. This year, we're planning a surprise week in Disneyland the week before Christmas - and a BIG surprise will be Aunt P. and Uncle F. meeting us in the park from Arizona. That will be a 'wow' for sure. The kids have no idea (so far) and though they'll figure it out as soon as we head south on I5, they won't know about P & F until we run into them at the surfboard in California Adventure. That's a big Christmas surprise! for sure.
Hope I can come up with more 'wow' before the big day. Wish me luck.
Yesterday, I tossed the Toys 'R Us ad into the recycle bin without even glancing at it. A milestone of sorts. Acknowledging that there isn't a single thing in that ad which would even remotely interest either of my kids. They are WAY past the TrU phase of their lives. Best Buy? Yes. Big 5? Probably. Target? Possibly, if it's in electronics. Their wants this year are BIG and expensive. No longer can I fill up under the tree with lots of smaller fun toys. Now, their toys are snowboards, drum sets, ski clothes, ski passes, MP3 players, etc. I long for the days when bunches of $20 toys would fill up the tree and keep them playing for hours. Now, the gifts are so big and pricey - so there's not much actually under the tree - mainly 'cuz it won't fit there. I am resorting to the old standbys of buying them socks and underwear and any other 'basic' items I can think of that they need - something to put under the tree that costs less than $200.
I know they won't be disappointed. They understand that their growing up to really expensive presents means one big present/year. That's it. They know to choose carefully 'cuz their 'wish list' of numerous expensive things won't be filled. Some will need to be carried over for Birthdays...or to ask relatives who inquire to send $$ towards a specific item. Still, I can't not have a lot under the tree. Christmas morning has to be BIG - a shock between how the tree looked when they went to bed and how it looks when they wake up. That's Christmas. But every year, it get's harder to get that 'wow' factor - and this year will be no exception.
We have a great Christmas full of great traditions. Watching 'The Santa Clause' on Christmas eve after we've driven around looking at lights. Hot cocoa made from 'scratch' - with cocoa powder, sugar, milk - warmed and whipped on the stove. Bed as early as we can get them there. Waking up at the crack of dawn. It's always lots of fun. I just hope they aren't disappointed with the few big things under the tree. My mom always made Christmas 'magical' for me and my sister and I do the same for my kids. It's just getting harder as they get older to amaze them. But we'll try. This year, we're planning a surprise week in Disneyland the week before Christmas - and a BIG surprise will be Aunt P. and Uncle F. meeting us in the park from Arizona. That will be a 'wow' for sure. The kids have no idea (so far) and though they'll figure it out as soon as we head south on I5, they won't know about P & F until we run into them at the surfboard in California Adventure. That's a big Christmas surprise! for sure.
Hope I can come up with more 'wow' before the big day. Wish me luck.
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Tales of Helpers
Our cleaning lady D. is here today - she wears earbuds and chats on the phone while she works. She is the third cleaning 'person(s)...
