Primary Care

On B.'s advice, I decided to get my toe looked at.  The nail became completely detached this past Monday.  I trimmed off as much as I could but there is still a small portion of the lower nail that although detached from the nail bed is still attached at the cuticle.  

My primary care doctor here in Carson left the practice and moved to California.  I called the office yesterday and inquired about a new primary care and while there were doctors available in Carson, the scheduling person said 'and they can see you in February'.  Um...that won't work.  I said 'well, I guess I'll go to urgent care for the toe' but she said 'I can get you in for an appointment in Minden tomorrow'.  I said that would work and asked (with my fingers crossed) 'and can that physician's assistant be my PC?'.  Yes!  

Went to see her today and LOVED her - easy drive, nice offices.  In addition to setting up a referral to a podiatrist (she agreed the remainder of the nail should probably be removed but also agreed neither of us should try to do that) she talked through some other things happening on the health front.  She prescribed an antibiotic as well (for the injured toe) and also gave me a different antibiotic ointment to use on the toe.  She isn't a fan or Neosporin.  I didn't ask why.   I really liked her.  Super glad to have a PC in place I feel comfortable with. 

I have a Gastro doc appointment scheduled for Monday - a pre-visit to schedule my every three year colonoscopy.  And hoping to add a throat scope as well on the advice of my gastro doc and my new primary care doc.  I'm having some issues swallowing - weird, infrequent but still problematic - and that alone warrants a scope. She said if Gastro doc won't do it for any reason, she'll schedule it with another doctor.  

J. and B. are at the Reno air races today.  An Atlantis event coordinator offered J. & B. access to the jet race pylon area - somewhere they don't allow many people to visit.  I can't wait to hear all about it.  It's a hot day.  I've been to Minden, back home for lunch then to the post office to mail H.'s money order for his rent.  I realized this morning that the bank did a cashier's check - a money order is the only payment accepted typically - but H. checked with the house leader who said it would be OK.

J. is in a black jack tournament tomorrow at Atlantis so that's where we'll be.  B.'s friend R. is coming from Stockton and also his friend S. with his wife and two year old son.  They will attend the air races on Sunday.  We'll pick B. up at Atlantis on Monday morning and then we all return there Tuesday to spend the night for J.'s birthday.  

It's fun having B. here - he hangs out with J. watching whatever they find to watch and the cats are in heaven having so many options of who to cuddle with!  

That's it for now.  Summer is over in the blink of an eye and Fall is just around the corner - but today is warm, sunny, and beautiful.  Life is good!

 

Quiet Sunday

J. is playing golf today and tomorrow for the Atlantis Cup Tournament.  We decided to get a room for the night (tonight) - a fun excuse to have a night away from home.  We considered cancelling but I phoned the hotel to ask what type of room it is.  And the reservation clerk said 'you have a suite'.  YAY!  Suites make it so much more 'special'. 

I'm still at the house but plan to head to Reno soon.  The cats are curled up on the bench in the mud room - they started hanging out there most mornings and we're not sure why.  In the winter it makes sense because it has a floor vent and gets super warm in there when the heat is on.  But summer?  With the AC sometimes blasting?  Guess curling up with your best friend is a way to be warm(er).  They are cute together - but we witnessed them fighting yesterday and they are definitely having skirmishes now and then.  

I just refilled the bird watering trays and am super thrilled to say the birds are back!  Bluebirds and finches are hanging around a lot and taking baths and drying themselves on the fence.  We LOVE watching them!  It took a long time for them to return but they finally did!!  

We've had a week of watching for fighter jets and fuel tankers while President and Mrs. Biden were staying in Tahoe.  It's been noisy (often) but also weirdly fun.  Yesterday we listened to Air Traffic Control at Reno and saw Air Force One winging it's way north east out of Reno.  

We're a week into the future from when I wrote above this sentence. Time moves so quickly.  Our stay at Atlantis was a really fun time and I had epic luck.  So grateful.  

I got up at 6:15AM today because the pest control service was arriving at 7AM.  No problem getting up but it's a smidge past 11:30AM and it feels like the longest day ever.  I just loaded and started the dishwasher for the 2nd time this morning.  The cats 'stormed to castle' as I left my room and they are snuggled and toasty warm on my bed.  I don't think they will move much for another few hours.  

I had a fun catch up Facebook message chat with my cousin S. yesterday morning and another catch up live phone call with my friend C. in Tracy.  So fun to get caught up with both.

J. is playing golf today.  It was strange having him home yesterday - no golf on Labor Day.  We did pick up a big grocery order so I've piddled around doing some reorganizing in the pantry.  

Last Tuesday, I went to the outside refrigerator to get a cold Ice drink.  I had on opened toe sandals - something I wear very rarely - I wasn't going anywhere so it felt more casual to just slide on sandals.  As I opened the refrigerator, my left big toe collided with the bottom corner of the door and my toe suffered a traumatic injury.  I let out a huge OWWWWW scream - then regretted it thinking the neighbors would hear.  They didn't.  The toe was profusely bleeding and I couldn't really tell what had happened.  I thought maybe it was deeply cut under the nail because it bled a lot for an hour and continued to bleed for hours that day.  A week out, I'm pretty sure the brutal injury was a significant part of the nail detaching from the nail bed....so I wait to see if the nail will fall off.  In the mean time, I tend it carefully and keep it bandaged at night and in the day if I'm going to be walking a bit that day.  

B. had called just as I came back inside the house - he was on Facetime and I didn't realize it....so I held the phone up to my ear.  I said 'hey, I need to call you back 'cuz I've hurt my toe and if I don't take care of it, this place is going to look like a crime scene'.  

It hurts.  Yikes.  I couldn't recreate what happened if I tried.  

OK.  Time to get to continue working on house stuff.  We decided to stop using the cleaning service - they cancelled so many times we ended up doing it ourselves anyway.   Saves money and I've got nothing but time. 

Let's Be Real

I could totally take some of the posts in my draft folder and fine tune them, manually make the date(s) for the posts in July and miraculously create July posts....but I won't.  

I'm a bit mystified at why I'm not inclined to write these days - but I'm not.  Days fly by at a record pace and the business of life feels like 'enough'.  Documenting all the stuff that is retirement life seems unnecessary?  

I don't know.  I'm just finding it hard to want to write.  

It might have started when I re-read some historical posts and realized how much fiction is among all my musings.  H.'s issues are everywhere and it's hard to wade through it all and realize the pure fiction of pretty much all of it.  

It's created hesitancy about writing anything (else) about how things are going 'cuz truly?  We have no idea how things are really going.  We know what he shares and hope things are as he says but we have no way to verify much of anything.  

Things are hard sometimes.  We're muddling through.

We attended a Reno Symphony Orchestra concert on July 3rd at the Ball Field downtown - shared a sky box with friends and had a wonderful evening.  The concert was epic, food was good and the fireworks were spectacular.  My brilliant husband parked the car in an area where no one else parked which had us out of the multi-story garage in record time - avoided the 20+ minute wait others were having going the opposite route.  (I can't explain how/why but there was another set of ramps we found totally by accident).  We were out of there in a flash. 

J. is enjoying the season of loads of golf play.  Between his three golf 'clubs' and the annual Atlantis Cup tournament (which he's played in every year since we moved here), he is gone usually at least three days a week.  I miss him - the house is quiet and he's good company - but I am happy he's doing lots of his favorite thing with a bunch of really nice friends.  I enjoy being the drink girl on the third tee when they play at Silver Oak - which they do most Thursdays.  

B. is arriving on September 13th for not quite two weeks and we are excited to have him visit.  We offered to pay for his ticket to come here for the (last) Reno Air Races and he was excited - and was able to arrange two weeks of leave.  He's moving to a new apartment at the end of August so he will be pretty busy and ready for a nice vacation break.  We aren't nailing down too many plans - other than the Air show - he will likely try to visit friends in the Bay Area for a few days. 

J. and I (mostly J. but I'm helping a smidge) are working on continued tidying of the stones on the labyrinth.  The yard is blooming finally - Spring was basically non-existent and freak cold spells kept the earth chilly - it's taken a long time this year for things to finally bloom.  We lost a lot of plants again this year - likely just the long-term brutal cold and so much snow - but we replaced some already and will likely replace more next Spring - if there is a Spring.  

Lake Washoe is all the way 'full' to the freeway - and while we are starting to see some of the previously covered in water 'marsh' area(s), there's still an incredible amount of run off.  Small bits of snow still clinging to the higher peaks around us - a reminder of just how much snow there was.  

July had us at Atlantis mostly on Saturdays and Sundays - but in August, they are not hosting 'Local Bonus Freeplay' on Saturdays weekly - just one Saturday this month - so we've added playing at Tamarack in South Reno to our rotation.  We are really enjoying it there - tons of Dragonlink machines for me and good Keno machines for J. .  They have enticed us further with food offers and extra free play so instead of Saturdays @ Atlantis in August, we're doing Sundays there and Fridays at Tamarack.  It's been a lot of fun.  Last week, we ran into our (now retired) casino host M. at Tamarack - having lunch with her partner.  She was shocked to see us there - but I'd told her when she retired 'we're loyal to you - not so much Atlantis' and guess her 'catching us' playing there confirmed it.  

I love Atlantis but getting a Dragonlink Machine there is very hard most weekends.  

OK.  I think I'll stop now, get this posted and move on to working through the massive pile of paperwork sitting on my desk goading me into being productive. 

Thanks for reading. 

Bees and Wedding

The long awaited, long planned for trip to our niece K.'s wedding in Paso Robles, CA is over - what a weekend!  

I've had so much anxiety about the trip - for no particular reason other than I have anxiety about a lot of things these days.  A lot of it was helped when our neighbor N. (T. & G.'s son) agreed to take care of the cats for us.  He came over a couple days before we were leaving and I gave him the info about the cat's routine.  Promised him I would write everything out.  The cats hid the entire time he was here but I told him 'as soon as they know you are the person giving them their moist food every day, they will warm up'.  I hoped I was right.  

I did write out all the directions and left them on the counter for him.  He was fine with (also) helping out with getting the mail; opening and closing the shutters to give the cats access to their favorite window spots but not leaving the shutters open all night; turning on outside lights at night and turning them off in the morning.  Having all those things covered and leaving the cats in their home was a huge relief for me.  

The night before we left, I still couldn't decide on what to wear to the wedding - and the benefit of car travel is we had plenty of room for 'stuff' - so I ended up putting all three possible outfits in a garment bag. Counted out how many 'casual' outfits I'd need for hanging out with J. and B..  We left the house at 9AM and stopped for gas at Costco - and I realized I'd forgotten a pair of shoes to go with a couple of my casual outfits.  J. said 'well, we'll just go back home and get them' but I decided to save the 30 minutes that would take and 'wing it'.  

I drove the first leg over the windy road drive from Minden on Hwy 88 over the hills into Jackson, CA. .  It was an easy drive - very pretty and we were surprised by how much snow was still on the ground.  One lake we passed - Caples Lake - was still covered with ice.  We arrived in Tracy around 9:30 and J. had friend with his BFF R. and I had lunch with my BFF C. .  It was fun to see them both.  

J. drove from Tracy to Paso Robles.  We headed south on I-5 and wow, what a drive.  There were immediately so many trucks on the highway.  One merge had seven semi's merging onto a freeway already full of semis and cars.  It felt scary and my anxiety really took a hard hit for a bit.  J. did a great job and we just kept a steady, safe pace and trekked on.  I watched YouTube videos on my phone which was an excellent distraction.  One of the things I noticed that shocked me were how many abandoned buildings and businesses were graffiti covered - so many businesses closed.  

We made a stop for restrooms and fuel in the middle of nowhere - and while I was worried about the state of the bathrooms, we lucked out - Eagle Feather Trading Post was spotless!  Welcoming staff and clean restrooms.  Gas was $1 more a gallon than in Carson City but we expected that.  

We arrived in Paso Robles and got checked in.  J. and I went to the lounge and had small plates for dinner.  He went to pick up B. at the San Luis Obispo airport around 8 but I was in bed shortly after.  N. sent a picture of him with both cats on his lap and said 'I was worried they would be afraid of me but they are just so sweet'!  Yay!  Huge relief they were in good hands. 

Friday morning, we had a nice breakfast together and caught up with B. .  We hung out around the gardens of the hotel and fed the koi in all the ponds.  The front desk had free 'fish kibble' and it was fun.  We headed out for a walk and found a winery with a storefront offering tastings near our hotel.  We had a fun time wine tasting and left with 4 bottles of wine!  Bushong Vintage Company rocks! We had a nice steak house dinner with B. that night.  

Saturday was breakfast and then just hanging out.  As I was sitting at the small table in the corner of the room using my computer, I heard buzzing sounds.  Kept trying to figure out where the sound was coming from.  And then a bee appeared - seemingly from nowhere.  The window in that corner was closed as was the shutter covering the window.  The bee(s) came in and headed for the overhead light and/or the desk lamp on the table.  We called maintenance who came and got the bees using tissue.  We figured 'well, that was interesting but problem fixed'.  No, it wasn't.  More bees.  Whenever the lights in that corner were on, there would be bees.  The second maintenance guy arrived with a can of bug spray - but I said 'no, please.  I can't breathe in those fumes or my asthma will go nuts'.  He picked up the dead bees from the floor (they would exhaust themselves around the lights and die).  He mentioned they had a swarm of bees a few days prior that were relocated to a new hive by a beekeeper.  The bees we were seeing were the stragglers who didn't go with the hive and were now dying.  Sad.  But it's the circle of life.  

We also had other issues - some kind of oily substance on the entry way tile.  J. walked barefoot from bed to the bathroom on Friday evening and when he got in the shower Saturday morning, he called me to come look - his feet were covered with black and the ONLY place he'd been barefoot was on the entry tile and/or our room.  We noticed an oily drip from the door closing 'box' - and we think they had spilled some of the oil used to lubricate the doors.  It was gross.  

We let the front desk know.

We saw the bridal party in their suite on Friday evening (from afar) and were really excited as Saturday progressed and the wedding got closer.  

I decided to wear slacks and a glitzy top - it was cold and I couldn't imagine the dress option working.  The wedding was beautiful.  Very small - less than 80 people - but it felt right.  We caught up with family on the bride's mom's side we hadn't seen in years.  We were the only family from the bride's Dad side - and there were some hard moments when J.'s late brother B. was barely acknowledged.  The step-Dad was introduced as 'the father of the bride' - and I won't speak for J. or B. but that was really hard for me.  

At the end of the night, they were married and so incredibly happy and there's nothing better than that.  

Sunday felt 'hard'.  I was exhausted - not a ton of energy that day on my end.  J. and B. took a drive to see Hearst Castle and also checked out a beach.  I cocooned in the bee zone.  B. went to the bar in the late evening to join the bride and groom for drinks - and told us the next morning we'd been invited for drinks, too - which would have been good to know the night before but I was asleep pretty early so oh well. 

The bride and groom were able to get B. to San Luis Obispo airport on their way home to Thousand Oaks which was wonderful because it saved us more than an hour of time to get him further south and then drive back.  

We had a ton of huge weather from Tracy to Carson City via Hwy 88.  I was the driver for that leg of the trip and there were some white knuckle moments.  Huge pounding rain where wipers on high didn't appear to be doing much.  We made it and I was proud of myself for putting the anxiety on a shelf and just keep going. 

We were glad to be home and the cats were happy to see us.

Channel Your Inner Optimist

Here we are approaching the end of May - my draft folder has several posts and I will try to refine them and post them soon....so at some point, look back a bit if you're reading this post to see if I post the rest.  

We have intense heat this weekend - Spring was barely a whisper and now it's broiling hot.  So many weather alerts flashing - high heat greatly increases the snow melt and flash floods are happening.  We're fine here but some areas near us are flooding.  J.'s golf group had to scramble to reschedule their upcoming Tuesday play because the course they were playing has two or three holes completely underwater.  Thankfully, golf courses provide a lot of open area for pooling water.  Better on a golf course then someone's street or house. 

We've had to turn on the AC because it's too hot for open windows to give any kind of break in the heat.  

The 20th of every month is the day the local casino I play at gives me a bit more 'extra' free play.  I haven't played at this casino much lately but I do go once in a while and I definitely didn't want to miss out on today's extra boost.  

I left the house around 9:15 and told myself the entire way to the casino 'I will stick to my budget'.  I'm working (very) hard on not leaving broke - something that's easy to do and something that lately has made me feel horrible on some days.  The machine I would have preferred to play (with the highest Major on the bank of Dragonlinks) was 'out of service' - secret code for someone saved it.  Drat!  I went to the next highest Major - Autumn Moon - and started playing.  I hit a bonus round right away and was glad for that!  Then I played up and down all the denoms - including $1 and $2 denoms which I mostly stay away from lately.  If/when I play those high denoms (where there are only five pay lines vs. 50 or 25 pay lines on the lower denoms), I would always head back down to lower denoms and bet big - to see what happens.  

Nothing happened.  Drat!  I nervously unclipped another $100 from my stash - and told myself 'This is it for today'.  [We are playing at Atlantis tomorrow and I had a good day yesterday so didn't want to put too much back today].  

I got an Orb bonus round and was ecstatic!  Told myself 'no matter what, take the winnings and leave'.  I would be down - but a smidge better after the bonus round - 

14 orbs dropped - and then the 15th dropped.  Holy Cow!  

I let out a small 'oh wow' and everyone at the machine bank said congratulations.  Except the lady who'd saved the machine I would have played if she hadn't saved it.  She stood up, cashed out her ticket and said 'I could have sat at that machine when I got here - it was available'.  And she stormed off.  I've played with her before - she's an Eeyore on her best day - always upset about her play.  Not winning.  Not winning enough.  

Her storming off cost her a bit 'cuz I would have shared the luck - and I did share the luck with another player who then played the machine Eeyore had left and promptly hit the Major!  Woot woot! 

I drove to the casino thinking 'I could have great luck.  And even if I don't have great luck, I will have fun and enjoy the play'. Win, lose or draw, I always feel grateful.  Always.

Today was an awesome luck day and I am so glad!

Why I Blog

Wednesday morning, doing my usual 'bunch of stuff about mostly nothing' on my computer, I saw a face I recognized on a news 'tile' - a blogger I've followed for years.  I clicked and saw 'dead at 47' and froze.  Gasped out loud.  And immediately thought 'please let it be she was ill for some time or it was a tragic accident'.  But no.  She killed herself.  Leaving behind two daughters 19 & 13 and her partner Pete who loved her fiercely. 

Heather Armstrong is the reason I started blogging.  I'd found her blog when she first started writing and followed along as she shared about motherhood, marriage, work challenges, etc. .  Her writing is so much more intricate than mine - a masterful story teller, she could create post after post that was spellbinding. She shared her mental health issues honestly and frequently - something I always admired her for.  Her issues were very severe - and she tried a lot of things to mitigate the crushing depression. 

I even emailed her a few times and she always wrote back - which always surprised me as much as it thrilled me.  

She earned a living via her blog.  One of the first to monetize her blog.  She created an entire career as a "Mommy Blog" influencer and was able to grow her business to include appearances at various blog forums around the world.  She also wrote three books.  

Heather's openly sharing her mental health struggles got me to be more honest about mine - first with myself and then a little sharing on my blog.  My blog has never and will never be 'famous' for anything - I never had any desire to put myself out there in that way.  It's basically an online diary that helps me remember things I want to remember and gives me a way to put thoughts on paper.  For myself.  For my kids.  

I am thinking of her family and how incredibly difficult her death is for them.  And I've been thinking about her - how she did everything she could do to stay here until she reached a point when she couldn't.  

She will be greatly missed.

 

Creeping Anxiety

Little by little, the anxiousness I feel regarding anything remotely resembling travel is creeping in.  Our trip to Paso Robles for our niece's wedding is less than a month away and as we coordinate all the things surrounding that trip, I feel more and more unsettled.  

This will be the first road trip I've taken since we moved here.  Other than our weekly treks to Reno (half hour north) and our occasional trips to Minden (half hour south), I haven't been on any driving trip anywhere.  J.'s made some treks to California and other places for golf and concerts.  I've been home.  I like home.

I will absolutely power through the anxiety to make the trip - we are honored to be invited (it's a small wedding with not a lot of family) and we've been excited to attend since we knew she was getting married.

When we spent time with our neighbors a couple weeks ago, G. volunteered their son N. (who is living with them after he was laid off from his job) to take care of the cats while we are gone.  It will (in theory) save money - boarding two cats is expensive - and they will be happier in their own home.  I worry because lately, even when we're home, sitting in the office with the door closed, the cats (mostly Nala) wander the house crying seeking people.  I think about them being alone and lonely for five days - and I worry leaving them at home isn't the best for them.  But then again, home is where they are the most settled and N. is a great guy who loves cats and will probably spoil them rotten.  

I finally went through the process to renew my Trusted Traveler (including International travel) - I submitted my application and a few days later, received an email about setting up an interview.  I did that process too and then last night, I received an email that my status had changed.  I logged in this morning and am officially renewed.  Interview not needed!  

J. did the same process a month ago - and he's still waiting.  No 'conditional approval' yet and when he inquires, they write back that 'due to overwhelming volume, your request may take up to 11 months'.  They are dealing with that by reassuring everyone they will extend the expiration date of your current membership.  So if we were traveling, J. would still be OK.  I don't know how I lucked out to get mine approved so quickly - 

I'm about to make myself a third hamburger (this week) for dinner.  Turns out when I'm craving a good hamburger, my best option is to make one for myself.  It's delicious, flavorful and juicy - something I have not been able to find in town, even at In & Out.  

The cats are starting each day sitting in the dining area window watching nature outside.  We've got water in the bird trays and they sit and watch for hours sometimes.  Even with very few birds visiting (so far).  Things will pick up as soon as the weather stabilizes.  We've had some back tracking to colder weather - I should have known since I washed all the winter bed linens in preparation to pack them up for the season and now they are all (still) back on the beds.  

Our hair stylist and pedicure specialist retired and I'm trying a new place.  I'm not sold so far.  The lady doing my hair asks 'what would you like me to do?' - other than 'trim the ends', I have no input 'cuz I'm not a hairstylist.  The pedicure seems good - but it takes a lot longer than our previous person -  and the massaging of feet and calves is almost always a little too much.  

I think I will try Atlantis Salon - way more expensive (though in theory we could use comps) but it might be better all around.  Will check into it and decide.