ANOTHER day of huge progress. Starting to think the medication I started a month or so ago is jump starting my organization. Usually, things just feel overwhelming and impossible but lately, I can 'see' what needs to be done and sketch out how to make it happen. Instead of standing around looking at all the stuff and feeling it's impossible, we are making steady progress. Feels AWESOME!
We took a bunch of things to New Hope - H's rehab place. Lots of things we know they can use and other things we called and asked about. One of the first things they try to instill in people is finding lots of other activities to do that are fun. Addicts are so focused on their next fix, they forget how to do anything but that. So there's a lot of effort put in to getting people out and doing - with groups and friends - to remind them there is life outside using.
We gave them a karaoke machine and 15 song disks, a brand new croquet set, 4 stadium seats, 4 basketballs, two ice chests and a vacuum. (H. wanted the vac for their house).
I took all the plastic shelves outside and cleaned them thoroughly. Hosed them down and used Simple Green and a towel to get them sparking. Then we swept the floors well, scrubbed one area where something had spilled, put the shelves back and are reorganizing as we go. With all the stuff we gave away, we will have room on those shelves to start staging stuff for the move. First on the list are boxes of books that we plan to keep - but no point in putting them away upstairs only to pack them again in a year.
J. will be procuring some plastic bins at Costco this week and making trips to donation, the library and Rasputin Music in Modesto - he will have a very full four day week and the garage will continue to be more and more empty and organized. I love it!!
H. was here today too and was able to help lift heavy things, reach things I can't reach and also did some yard work. We got a new set of really 'big' pruners - shears, really - and they make trimming hedges so much easier!! We filled up the yard waste bin and did a good cutting back of some of our flowering landscape plants. H. also tried to trim the Japanese Maples in the front but the ladder isn't high enough - we'll need to call the tree trimming company but it shouldn't be too expensive 'cuz they aren't very tall.
Our gardener officially retired so we are going to look for help - hoping to find someone more reliable and someone who can consistently do both the yard and some pruning, etc. - even if it costs a bit more, it will be worth it.
I'm going to head to work tomorrow and will undoubtedly be super productive there, too. I've been making a list for there as well and keeping my brain organized and focused is really making a huge difference. Yes, there is a lot of work - always has been and always will be - but I know what needs to be done and can do it.
Congratulations to H. who celebrates 101 day sober today! Super happy for him and proud of him. He had some 'girl issues' this week and he handled it all very well - strong enough to say to her that while he is sorry she is upset, she's basing her upset on gossip and has no reason to think any of what was said (about H.) is real. Yet she did. H. told her that he can't have that kind of drama in his life at this point - that she's upset because someone said he spoke to someone else (another girl). He said he told her 'so I can never talk to another human being or you'll be upset with me'. Ridiculous. I'm proud of him.
As for the girl - I feel for her. I wish she was stronger and more self confident to realize how silly her upset is. But I remember those feelings in my 20's so I get it. It takes a long time to feel so OK with yourself that nothing other people say has much influence or affect on you - and that comes with a lot of life lessons that she hasn't experienced yet.
Fingers crossed it will all work out -
Time to start winding down for bed. These have been two of the most productive days we've had in ages and seeing the progress is so wonderful!! Very motivating which is a good thing 'cuz we have 52 more weekends between now and moving (roughly) and there is still a lot to do.
Sunday, September 02, 2018
Saturday, September 01, 2018
Hungry Root
(This is not a sponsored post. I have zero sponsors.)
J. is doing the Optavia weight loss program. After months of various tests, etc. to see about doing weight loss surgery, he's realized he doesn't want to do that. A friend did Optavia and lost a lot of weight so J. is trying it.
So far, he's loving it - isn't feeling hungry, eats every 2-3 hours, and it's working. Weight is coming off and the more he loses the more motivated he is. Already feeling better, too, so that's awesome.
I sometimes get negative about these type of programs - because he's done them before and the weight comes back. Seems so logical and simple to 'do it yourself' - portion control, etc. - but truthfully, we all know how hard it is to eat less.
I decided I'm on Team J. and whatever works for him is what he will do -
I'm trying Hungry Root - a vegetarian weekly meal service. Like Hello Fresh only no meat.
How's it going? I miss meat.
Turns out it's hard for me because I am (so far) not hungry for any of the Hungry Root meals. Largely because I'm eating things I've never eaten before and with no history of what tastes good, it's hard to be excited about eating. The meals are also sometimes very spicy and my body does not appreciate spice.
I forgot to cancel next week's delivery so I have another two weeks of torture - 'cuz I still have most of this past week's delivery still in the fridge. I don't plan to continue. I'd rather go back to cooking for myself.
Though that's been hard, too, because J. has been doing dinners since he retired only now, he doesn't. He makes himself something lean and green - I guess he can start cooking double portions of that for me and I can add some brown rice if needed.
Another Saturday spent in the garage - geez, we have so much stuff to get rid of but we are doing pretty well. The Salvation Army came with a big truck and took most everything we wanted to get rid of - but they wouldn't take the mattresses. We're going to ask our housekeeper if she knows of a family that can use them? Otherwise, we'll arrange for someone to make a dump run for us - and might even toss in the pool chaises at the same time - why not? We rarely use them, they are in deplorable shape and it will save us paying for another dump run in a year - but we'll see.
I'm making lists of things to remind J. to inventory and take to our local donation center. And eventually, I'll trek up to Jackson, too - with a huge load of stuff.
H. came over briefly on Friday - he was picked up by the mom of his friend N. (who passed away a while back). She spent time with H. at Starbucks and then offered to drive him to Modesto 'to be able to spend more time with him'. She's someone I work with and at our Welcome Back breakfast each year, she finds me and asks how he's doing. We hope he'll come back tomorrow (J. will go get him) 'cuz we're doing some stuff in the garage that an extra set of hands and someone with more height could really help with.
J. is going to return to Orchard Supply (their closing is very sad for our town because in addition to the store, we also have a warehouse here and a lot of people are losing their jobs) to get mouse traps - we clearly are having some issues in the garage and we need to get everything cleaned out and take care of the source. That's J.'s job - poor guy.
I'm heading to the office on Monday - year-end is 'done' but I have a lot of things to scan and some Board prep to get going on. If it weren't a Board prep week, I'd be tempted to take off Monday and truly enjoy a full three day weekend - but it is so I need to go in and get a jump start - not losing a day is in my best interest. It will lessen the stress as the week progresses.
Harry Potter marathon on this weekend - joy, joy, joy. In between working in the garage and the constant washing of my hands, I'm enjoying the movies as much as I did when I first saw them. I will never get tired of them. Ever.
J. is doing the Optavia weight loss program. After months of various tests, etc. to see about doing weight loss surgery, he's realized he doesn't want to do that. A friend did Optavia and lost a lot of weight so J. is trying it.
So far, he's loving it - isn't feeling hungry, eats every 2-3 hours, and it's working. Weight is coming off and the more he loses the more motivated he is. Already feeling better, too, so that's awesome.
I sometimes get negative about these type of programs - because he's done them before and the weight comes back. Seems so logical and simple to 'do it yourself' - portion control, etc. - but truthfully, we all know how hard it is to eat less.
I decided I'm on Team J. and whatever works for him is what he will do -
I'm trying Hungry Root - a vegetarian weekly meal service. Like Hello Fresh only no meat.
How's it going? I miss meat.
Turns out it's hard for me because I am (so far) not hungry for any of the Hungry Root meals. Largely because I'm eating things I've never eaten before and with no history of what tastes good, it's hard to be excited about eating. The meals are also sometimes very spicy and my body does not appreciate spice.
I forgot to cancel next week's delivery so I have another two weeks of torture - 'cuz I still have most of this past week's delivery still in the fridge. I don't plan to continue. I'd rather go back to cooking for myself.
Though that's been hard, too, because J. has been doing dinners since he retired only now, he doesn't. He makes himself something lean and green - I guess he can start cooking double portions of that for me and I can add some brown rice if needed.
Another Saturday spent in the garage - geez, we have so much stuff to get rid of but we are doing pretty well. The Salvation Army came with a big truck and took most everything we wanted to get rid of - but they wouldn't take the mattresses. We're going to ask our housekeeper if she knows of a family that can use them? Otherwise, we'll arrange for someone to make a dump run for us - and might even toss in the pool chaises at the same time - why not? We rarely use them, they are in deplorable shape and it will save us paying for another dump run in a year - but we'll see.
I'm making lists of things to remind J. to inventory and take to our local donation center. And eventually, I'll trek up to Jackson, too - with a huge load of stuff.
H. came over briefly on Friday - he was picked up by the mom of his friend N. (who passed away a while back). She spent time with H. at Starbucks and then offered to drive him to Modesto 'to be able to spend more time with him'. She's someone I work with and at our Welcome Back breakfast each year, she finds me and asks how he's doing. We hope he'll come back tomorrow (J. will go get him) 'cuz we're doing some stuff in the garage that an extra set of hands and someone with more height could really help with.
J. is going to return to Orchard Supply (their closing is very sad for our town because in addition to the store, we also have a warehouse here and a lot of people are losing their jobs) to get mouse traps - we clearly are having some issues in the garage and we need to get everything cleaned out and take care of the source. That's J.'s job - poor guy.
I'm heading to the office on Monday - year-end is 'done' but I have a lot of things to scan and some Board prep to get going on. If it weren't a Board prep week, I'd be tempted to take off Monday and truly enjoy a full three day weekend - but it is so I need to go in and get a jump start - not losing a day is in my best interest. It will lessen the stress as the week progresses.
Harry Potter marathon on this weekend - joy, joy, joy. In between working in the garage and the constant washing of my hands, I'm enjoying the movies as much as I did when I first saw them. I will never get tired of them. Ever.
Sunday, August 26, 2018
Windfall Elimination
J. headed to Modesto today to see H. . We were hoping to spend time with him and M. (his friend) but she can't go today. (Her out patient is through Kaiser and it's almost daily for 6+ hours a day! That's the 'intensive' in IOP (Intensive Out Patient).) We do hope to spend time with them soon.
H. was hoping to have lunch with us today and needed to since he rode with J. on Friday and left his wallet in the car. (Grrr. Seriously. The kid needs to figure that out 'cuz he leaves his wallet in cars all the time). So J. trekked to Modesto - with a box of cereal, a blanket, two pillow slips and H.'s wallet with him.
I've continued working in the garage - the recycle bin is full to the brim and so is trash. I finally drained the case of Coors cans and rinsed and added them to our soda can recycle trash can. (Add: take cans/bottles to recycling to J.'s to do list this week. Poor guy. His list is HUGE this week). B. bought them a couple years ago and there's no way I will drink Coors. So they are now another thing out of the garage!! Woo hoo!
I got an email alert about jobs posted for the Carson City School District - and there's a Business job open. If only we were a year from now - I'd be applying for sure! (Well, maybe.). I'd actually eliminated that school district from my list of possible employers because on their website, they state that the district does not contribute to Social Security for ANY job - and I worried I would run in to an issue with claiming Social Security when the time comes? There's a Windfall Elimination Provision which affects people who've worked in jobs where social security is paid into by employer and employee and jobs where social security isn't paid into. Teachers in our State typically do not pay Social Security - so if they worked previously in jobs that paid into it, their Social Security amount will be affected by the earnings in years they didn't pay in. It's complicated - and I've been worried about it since discovering our soon-to-be local school district doesn't pay into Social Security.
I eliminated that worry today when I went to the Social Security website and read about it. Because I have 30+ years of 'substantial earnings', I will never be affected by the Windfall Elimination Provision! The amount considered 'substantial' is defined by year (and charted on the SS website) and I've got more than 30 years so NO ISSUE. EVER! Wow, that is such a relief. I could work for the district and bring home 6.2% more than I did in California PLUS pay no State tax on those earnings as well!
If we end up feeling like we need some financial 'boost' and/or I'm feeling not ready to not work, I have that employer as an option - and so does J. . We could both substitute teach (for example) - picking the days we say yes or no and also can base that on the grade level. It just creates more options and I like feeling like we have plenty of options.
Pretty sure the odds are in favor of 'never working again' but I appreciate having information that makes working part-time feasible if I decide to.
I'm going to focus on my desk for awhile. It's crazily a mess and I need to reign it in a bit.
H. was hoping to have lunch with us today and needed to since he rode with J. on Friday and left his wallet in the car. (Grrr. Seriously. The kid needs to figure that out 'cuz he leaves his wallet in cars all the time). So J. trekked to Modesto - with a box of cereal, a blanket, two pillow slips and H.'s wallet with him.
I've continued working in the garage - the recycle bin is full to the brim and so is trash. I finally drained the case of Coors cans and rinsed and added them to our soda can recycle trash can. (Add: take cans/bottles to recycling to J.'s to do list this week. Poor guy. His list is HUGE this week). B. bought them a couple years ago and there's no way I will drink Coors. So they are now another thing out of the garage!! Woo hoo!
I got an email alert about jobs posted for the Carson City School District - and there's a Business job open. If only we were a year from now - I'd be applying for sure! (Well, maybe.). I'd actually eliminated that school district from my list of possible employers because on their website, they state that the district does not contribute to Social Security for ANY job - and I worried I would run in to an issue with claiming Social Security when the time comes? There's a Windfall Elimination Provision which affects people who've worked in jobs where social security is paid into by employer and employee and jobs where social security isn't paid into. Teachers in our State typically do not pay Social Security - so if they worked previously in jobs that paid into it, their Social Security amount will be affected by the earnings in years they didn't pay in. It's complicated - and I've been worried about it since discovering our soon-to-be local school district doesn't pay into Social Security.
I eliminated that worry today when I went to the Social Security website and read about it. Because I have 30+ years of 'substantial earnings', I will never be affected by the Windfall Elimination Provision! The amount considered 'substantial' is defined by year (and charted on the SS website) and I've got more than 30 years so NO ISSUE. EVER! Wow, that is such a relief. I could work for the district and bring home 6.2% more than I did in California PLUS pay no State tax on those earnings as well!
If we end up feeling like we need some financial 'boost' and/or I'm feeling not ready to not work, I have that employer as an option - and so does J. . We could both substitute teach (for example) - picking the days we say yes or no and also can base that on the grade level. It just creates more options and I like feeling like we have plenty of options.
Pretty sure the odds are in favor of 'never working again' but I appreciate having information that makes working part-time feasible if I decide to.
I'm going to focus on my desk for awhile. It's crazily a mess and I need to reign it in a bit.
Saturday, August 25, 2018
Feeling Accomplished!
Today's Victories:
10+ years of tax returns ready to shred.
Huge bag and two boxes of recycling we can't fit in the bin yet. I love filling it up every other week as we make steady progress on getting stuff sorted out before the move.
3 boxes of books to be donated to the library.
2 boxes of books to be donated to my friend's daughter who is collecting children's books for kids in Foster care.
4 basketballs, 4 sets of tire cables/chains (no idea why we have so many), duffle bags, backpacks, linens, comforters, roller skates, tennis rackets, baseball gloves, some ceramic planters and 4 solar light globes ready to donate.
Recycle bin full of miscellaneous plastics, etc. .
Trash bin pretty full with junk we tossed.
To Do:
Trip to library to donate the books. Too bad we found out they don't accept vinyl records? 'cuz we have a couple hundred or so to get rid of.
J. will make a trip to Rasputin Records in Modesto which will offer him $10 for the albums. We'll take whatever they offer at this point 'cuz we need to get them out of the house.
Trip to donation - likely the one in Tracy. I'm itching to play slots so want to head to Jackson? But it's likely we will be traveling to CC next month so I'm saving my fun $ for that trip.
Wait for trash and recycle pickup on Wednesday morning so we can do it again next weekend.
Take shred stuff to Fed Ex store and pay 99 cents a pound to get it all shredded. Why store it until the city has another free event? Out, damn shred. OUT!
Call Salvation Army to arrange for donated furniture pickup. Items include: queen size bed; trundle bed; armoire, dresser, TV stand, heavy standing mirror, two shelf 'towers', a couple glass door display cases.
Talk to B. about his drums. They are in the rafters and in the garage and we need to make some decisions about what to do with them. We can and will move them for him if he wants...but he's thought about selling them so we'll see what he thinks.
Next Cull:
CD's, DVDs and VHS tapes.
Kitchen drawers cleaned out.
Debating about possibly selling most of my Cow Parade figurines. Most of the boxes for them are up in the rafters of the garage. I like them but I don't love them anymore - so they might not make the list to transport to CC.
We both felt accomplished - we managed some inertia and got some things out of the garage. The shelving these items were stored on are plastic and they are now bowed from the weight. We will be breaking them down and recycling them over the next six weeks or so - our recycle pick up is every other week.
It's just after 5PM and I feel like I desperately need a nap. I'll power through. My desk is a wreck and I really need to tackle it a bit.
I'm going to the office for a few hours tomorrow - but will continue to make progress around the homestead. Might be able to come up with another box or two of books to donate. And we have some boxes of books we can move out to the garage to move with us - I started to put them 'away' - they were in the kids' room when they moved here and they took all the shelves down - but it seemed silly to put them away only to pack them up again in 12 months - so we're going to just label them 'keep - books - move to CC' and start stacking stuff up in the corner we are cleaning out. Then we'll have an area dedicated to gathering the things we can start moving to storage in CC in Spring.
This is really happening. I feel like I have to pinch myself - but it is really happening!
10+ years of tax returns ready to shred.
Huge bag and two boxes of recycling we can't fit in the bin yet. I love filling it up every other week as we make steady progress on getting stuff sorted out before the move.
3 boxes of books to be donated to the library.
2 boxes of books to be donated to my friend's daughter who is collecting children's books for kids in Foster care.
4 basketballs, 4 sets of tire cables/chains (no idea why we have so many), duffle bags, backpacks, linens, comforters, roller skates, tennis rackets, baseball gloves, some ceramic planters and 4 solar light globes ready to donate.
Recycle bin full of miscellaneous plastics, etc. .
Trash bin pretty full with junk we tossed.
To Do:
Trip to library to donate the books. Too bad we found out they don't accept vinyl records? 'cuz we have a couple hundred or so to get rid of.
J. will make a trip to Rasputin Records in Modesto which will offer him $10 for the albums. We'll take whatever they offer at this point 'cuz we need to get them out of the house.
Trip to donation - likely the one in Tracy. I'm itching to play slots so want to head to Jackson? But it's likely we will be traveling to CC next month so I'm saving my fun $ for that trip.
Wait for trash and recycle pickup on Wednesday morning so we can do it again next weekend.
Take shred stuff to Fed Ex store and pay 99 cents a pound to get it all shredded. Why store it until the city has another free event? Out, damn shred. OUT!
Call Salvation Army to arrange for donated furniture pickup. Items include: queen size bed; trundle bed; armoire, dresser, TV stand, heavy standing mirror, two shelf 'towers', a couple glass door display cases.
Talk to B. about his drums. They are in the rafters and in the garage and we need to make some decisions about what to do with them. We can and will move them for him if he wants...but he's thought about selling them so we'll see what he thinks.
Next Cull:
CD's, DVDs and VHS tapes.
Kitchen drawers cleaned out.
Debating about possibly selling most of my Cow Parade figurines. Most of the boxes for them are up in the rafters of the garage. I like them but I don't love them anymore - so they might not make the list to transport to CC.
We both felt accomplished - we managed some inertia and got some things out of the garage. The shelving these items were stored on are plastic and they are now bowed from the weight. We will be breaking them down and recycling them over the next six weeks or so - our recycle pick up is every other week.
It's just after 5PM and I feel like I desperately need a nap. I'll power through. My desk is a wreck and I really need to tackle it a bit.
I'm going to the office for a few hours tomorrow - but will continue to make progress around the homestead. Might be able to come up with another box or two of books to donate. And we have some boxes of books we can move out to the garage to move with us - I started to put them 'away' - they were in the kids' room when they moved here and they took all the shelves down - but it seemed silly to put them away only to pack them up again in 12 months - so we're going to just label them 'keep - books - move to CC' and start stacking stuff up in the corner we are cleaning out. Then we'll have an area dedicated to gathering the things we can start moving to storage in CC in Spring.
This is really happening. I feel like I have to pinch myself - but it is really happening!
Berthing Issues
We logged on to our NCL account last night to look at excursions and dream about our next cruise and discovered that due to a berthing issue in Mazatlan, our cruise itinerary has changed. No more Puerto Vallarta - goodbye, Las Caletas - instead we will be in Mazatlan and Cabo. It's OK...will still be an outstanding cruise - but I am sad about missing Las Caletas. It's magical and I'd really been looking forward to it.
But my work screen saver is a picture I took sailing around Cabo and that was a very fun day as well...so we'll book another sail trip and enjoy the sun and surf via sail boat instead of the beach.
Yesterday, I happened to glance out my office window at just the right time to see someone who looked very much like J. entering the District Office grounds yesterday - I grabbed my keys and raced outside and there was H. standing by the locked gate. He had to be in Tracy yesterday for a dentist appointment and he wanted to surprise me by stopping by.
I was less than excited about the surprise and not at all thrilled about H. being at my office. Many people know the situation - there was no way I could get through all that happened with no one at work knowing what was happening - and I really don't want (even the new) H. hanging out at my work.
I emailed J. separately to say all of the above and he agreed and said that he was pretty sure I would feel that way but H. wanted to surprise me. My suggestion is next time that happens, have him surprise me by meeting me at McDonald's or Starbucks - or even at the house.
H. was at the house for a bit - gathered up some clothes, his drones, looked for his heavy jacket and got a blanket for his bed. It felt strange having him here - I felt uneasy the entire time. But that's probably just the norm - I feel uneasy with him pretty much all the time.
I wonder if that will ever change and I shared those feelings with a friend and he said 'rebuilding trust takes a very long time - you know that because you've been through it before with this son - so be patient with yourself. It will happen'.
I hope he's right. He's one of the wisest people I know and a dear friend who has always cared about our family - and I'm grateful for his counsel.
My heart feels really sad to be feeling that way towards H. - but it's hard to reconcile everything that happened with him (and her). I wish I could just magically erase a lot of hard memories - but I can't. Just have to keep moving forward - and feel very ready for a fresh start in Nevada. It sounds so bad to say that? But really, truly - we are ready.
I was supposed to trek to Hayward this morning for a counseling session but I cancelled instead. I'm in need of a no commitment day and today is that day for the next couple weeks.
I just reviewed our budget again to be sure we are on the right track with the CC house. Heading into being 'both retired' and nearly doubling our monthly outflow for our house seems counter-intuitive for a retirement plan - but once again, I feel confident we can manage.
We received the HOA documents yesterday and wow - there are a lot of rules and regulations we will have to follow - including some very specific landscaping guidelines that have me a bit flummoxed. My idea of planting a back yard full of shrubs and wildflowers is not happening because we are required to 'group' plant of same color and cluster them - since our back yard will be visible from the golf course. I get it - trying to maintain the right 'look' is important - but we'll have to regroup around the yards. We get to do both, it turns out. So we'll have a lot to plan and have only six months to do all of it before we risk being fined for not doing it.
It's been a long time since we've had to deal with HOA and I'm sure hoping this isn't going to be a PITA. I figure if it is, we'll sell and move somewhere else, right? (Not likely that will happen but...you never know).
We are hoping to get up to CC in late September to meet with the financing people. We've submitted our floor plan idea - including our wish list items - and maybe they will be ready to sit down and talk it through by then? It's a month away so we'll see.
Looking forward to a quiet day of piddling around the homestead. I'm planning to go into the office for a few hours tomorrow - and then will head into Labor Day weekend in full tilt mode. I'm pretty much 'done' with year end - ahead of schedule - but there are a lot of little pieces to wrap up.
We interview for my assistant position this week - fingers crossed we find someone.
But my work screen saver is a picture I took sailing around Cabo and that was a very fun day as well...so we'll book another sail trip and enjoy the sun and surf via sail boat instead of the beach.
Yesterday, I happened to glance out my office window at just the right time to see someone who looked very much like J. entering the District Office grounds yesterday - I grabbed my keys and raced outside and there was H. standing by the locked gate. He had to be in Tracy yesterday for a dentist appointment and he wanted to surprise me by stopping by.
I was less than excited about the surprise and not at all thrilled about H. being at my office. Many people know the situation - there was no way I could get through all that happened with no one at work knowing what was happening - and I really don't want (even the new) H. hanging out at my work.
I emailed J. separately to say all of the above and he agreed and said that he was pretty sure I would feel that way but H. wanted to surprise me. My suggestion is next time that happens, have him surprise me by meeting me at McDonald's or Starbucks - or even at the house.
H. was at the house for a bit - gathered up some clothes, his drones, looked for his heavy jacket and got a blanket for his bed. It felt strange having him here - I felt uneasy the entire time. But that's probably just the norm - I feel uneasy with him pretty much all the time.
I wonder if that will ever change and I shared those feelings with a friend and he said 'rebuilding trust takes a very long time - you know that because you've been through it before with this son - so be patient with yourself. It will happen'.
I hope he's right. He's one of the wisest people I know and a dear friend who has always cared about our family - and I'm grateful for his counsel.
My heart feels really sad to be feeling that way towards H. - but it's hard to reconcile everything that happened with him (and her). I wish I could just magically erase a lot of hard memories - but I can't. Just have to keep moving forward - and feel very ready for a fresh start in Nevada. It sounds so bad to say that? But really, truly - we are ready.
I was supposed to trek to Hayward this morning for a counseling session but I cancelled instead. I'm in need of a no commitment day and today is that day for the next couple weeks.
I just reviewed our budget again to be sure we are on the right track with the CC house. Heading into being 'both retired' and nearly doubling our monthly outflow for our house seems counter-intuitive for a retirement plan - but once again, I feel confident we can manage.
We received the HOA documents yesterday and wow - there are a lot of rules and regulations we will have to follow - including some very specific landscaping guidelines that have me a bit flummoxed. My idea of planting a back yard full of shrubs and wildflowers is not happening because we are required to 'group' plant of same color and cluster them - since our back yard will be visible from the golf course. I get it - trying to maintain the right 'look' is important - but we'll have to regroup around the yards. We get to do both, it turns out. So we'll have a lot to plan and have only six months to do all of it before we risk being fined for not doing it.
It's been a long time since we've had to deal with HOA and I'm sure hoping this isn't going to be a PITA. I figure if it is, we'll sell and move somewhere else, right? (Not likely that will happen but...you never know).
We are hoping to get up to CC in late September to meet with the financing people. We've submitted our floor plan idea - including our wish list items - and maybe they will be ready to sit down and talk it through by then? It's a month away so we'll see.
Looking forward to a quiet day of piddling around the homestead. I'm planning to go into the office for a few hours tomorrow - and then will head into Labor Day weekend in full tilt mode. I'm pretty much 'done' with year end - ahead of schedule - but there are a lot of little pieces to wrap up.
We interview for my assistant position this week - fingers crossed we find someone.
Friday, August 17, 2018
Locals
I'm so looking forward to the day when I will be 'a local'. Someone who is at a casino because they live very near vs. me as a current patron, driving hours to get there. I am going to absolutely love being able to enjoy slots and only have to drive 1/2 hour to get to Reno - or 4 minutes to a casino in CC.
(NOTE: Do not worry. We will be budgeting the same as always. I promise.).
I've played at Atlantis enough that I now recognize people.
Last trip, I played (again) with Michael. He works at a casino in Sparks. The first time I sat next to him, he explained that he doesn't play where he works because 'I might have an outburst and say the wrong thing and I don't want to get in trouble with my job'. He's probably in his early to mid 60's or so? He plays max bet always - and he wins a lot, usually. I watched him win around $2,000 in June and then played next to him again in July - and when he started chatting again, he realized that we'd played together before. In June, he asked a slot attendant to go cash in his (many) winning tickets - but in July, he asked me to watch his machine, which I did happily. He is a quirky kind of guy but very nice and fun. He plays 'long haul' slots - like me - where he stays at a machine for a long time and keeps playing. He's fun and I'm looking forward to seeing him again next time I play up there.
There's also a mysterious lady that plays a lot - I've seen her virtually every time I've gone to Atlantis. She plays smaller wagers but is at the machines a lot - she's a Black Diamond level (the highest) and she's not shy about telling waitresses that. She seems to pop in and out of the casino a lot and looks at her watch all the time - like she told her family she was running out to get a gallon of milk only she's in a casino playing (again). And again and again.
You wonder about people - how they support their slots. Michael goes through thousands of dollars in a matter of a few hours. I don't know what he does at the casino he works at - but he sure plays a lot of money when he plays. In June, he was literally at the machine for 12 hours straight and considering in the morning, he told me that he'd come to the casino straight from work and had to get home to sleep before his next shift, he ended up basically playing all day - no sleep. And he was back the next morning. Yikes. That's serious.
Mysterious lady isn't chatty and when she hits something, she has no interest in commiserating about it. When B. was with me, he sat to her right and I sat to her left and we were bantering back and forth and she never joined. B. didn't know what he was playing so I helped him when he had a question - she just ignored us both. So she's not a social player.
J. is always surprised that I will strike up conversations with strangers but that's part of the fun - encouraging each other, sympathizing. Getting excited for someone else's luck and appreciative that they are hoping for yours to improve. Or they are excited for you when you hit something worth getting excited about.
Mysterious lady is interesting because I know she plays a lot - Atlantis has drawings every Sunday and she ALWAYS wins something - ALWAYS. I've never been there for the drawings that her name doesn't come up - and I know it's her 'cuz I've seen her enough to recognize her when she's claiming her winnings.
I'm going to be Black Diamond level at Atlantis someday because it's based entirely on 'time at a machine' - not dollars wagered. So I will play low wager and just wrack up time as a local and enjoy every minute of it. I've met some really fun people and enjoy making connections with people - getting to 'know them' even if they aren't reciprocal in their demeanor towards me. You can learn a lot about people just watching - how they treat the slot attendants and the waitresses, for example - and I want to be someone they get used to seeing and will go out of their way to help or 'serve' me because I am nice, polite and appreciative.
It was a super long week (psyche-wise) while going by in a lightening-like way. Time moves so quickly while I simultaneously feel things dragging at times. The schools are back in full swing so it's a never ending stream of people, places and things.
We are going to Modesto tomorrow to take H. to lunch - with his friend M. - who is a girl. They are planning to date as soon as they are 'allowed' to do so - but for now, they are rehab friends who are supportive of each other and spend time together as often as they can. She has a car and can drive so H. has been getting rides from her - which is nice and saves him bus fare. (Which is really saving us bus fare since we are still his bank). He applied for a job today and has a friend who works there so fingers crossed he can get a job.
I'm going to work most of Sunday which I wish I wasn't? But I am also sort of 'glad' I can - I have a lot of things to do that are best done in a quiet environment - and many things to catch up on along with working on year-end.
(NOTE: Do not worry. We will be budgeting the same as always. I promise.).
I've played at Atlantis enough that I now recognize people.
Last trip, I played (again) with Michael. He works at a casino in Sparks. The first time I sat next to him, he explained that he doesn't play where he works because 'I might have an outburst and say the wrong thing and I don't want to get in trouble with my job'. He's probably in his early to mid 60's or so? He plays max bet always - and he wins a lot, usually. I watched him win around $2,000 in June and then played next to him again in July - and when he started chatting again, he realized that we'd played together before. In June, he asked a slot attendant to go cash in his (many) winning tickets - but in July, he asked me to watch his machine, which I did happily. He is a quirky kind of guy but very nice and fun. He plays 'long haul' slots - like me - where he stays at a machine for a long time and keeps playing. He's fun and I'm looking forward to seeing him again next time I play up there.
There's also a mysterious lady that plays a lot - I've seen her virtually every time I've gone to Atlantis. She plays smaller wagers but is at the machines a lot - she's a Black Diamond level (the highest) and she's not shy about telling waitresses that. She seems to pop in and out of the casino a lot and looks at her watch all the time - like she told her family she was running out to get a gallon of milk only she's in a casino playing (again). And again and again.
You wonder about people - how they support their slots. Michael goes through thousands of dollars in a matter of a few hours. I don't know what he does at the casino he works at - but he sure plays a lot of money when he plays. In June, he was literally at the machine for 12 hours straight and considering in the morning, he told me that he'd come to the casino straight from work and had to get home to sleep before his next shift, he ended up basically playing all day - no sleep. And he was back the next morning. Yikes. That's serious.
Mysterious lady isn't chatty and when she hits something, she has no interest in commiserating about it. When B. was with me, he sat to her right and I sat to her left and we were bantering back and forth and she never joined. B. didn't know what he was playing so I helped him when he had a question - she just ignored us both. So she's not a social player.
J. is always surprised that I will strike up conversations with strangers but that's part of the fun - encouraging each other, sympathizing. Getting excited for someone else's luck and appreciative that they are hoping for yours to improve. Or they are excited for you when you hit something worth getting excited about.
Mysterious lady is interesting because I know she plays a lot - Atlantis has drawings every Sunday and she ALWAYS wins something - ALWAYS. I've never been there for the drawings that her name doesn't come up - and I know it's her 'cuz I've seen her enough to recognize her when she's claiming her winnings.
I'm going to be Black Diamond level at Atlantis someday because it's based entirely on 'time at a machine' - not dollars wagered. So I will play low wager and just wrack up time as a local and enjoy every minute of it. I've met some really fun people and enjoy making connections with people - getting to 'know them' even if they aren't reciprocal in their demeanor towards me. You can learn a lot about people just watching - how they treat the slot attendants and the waitresses, for example - and I want to be someone they get used to seeing and will go out of their way to help or 'serve' me because I am nice, polite and appreciative.
It was a super long week (psyche-wise) while going by in a lightening-like way. Time moves so quickly while I simultaneously feel things dragging at times. The schools are back in full swing so it's a never ending stream of people, places and things.
We are going to Modesto tomorrow to take H. to lunch - with his friend M. - who is a girl. They are planning to date as soon as they are 'allowed' to do so - but for now, they are rehab friends who are supportive of each other and spend time together as often as they can. She has a car and can drive so H. has been getting rides from her - which is nice and saves him bus fare. (Which is really saving us bus fare since we are still his bank). He applied for a job today and has a friend who works there so fingers crossed he can get a job.
I'm going to work most of Sunday which I wish I wasn't? But I am also sort of 'glad' I can - I have a lot of things to do that are best done in a quiet environment - and many things to catch up on along with working on year-end.
Thursday, August 16, 2018
Morning Routine
Quite awhile back, I gave up my alarm clock and started using my phone. I use the bedtime option (on the clock) and set it for 5ish or so. It wakes me up with a pretty tinkling sound which is much nicer than DJ's or songs you don't like. Can't control what will be broadcasting when your alarm goes off.
Lately, I've been waking up just before the alarm - which is nice. Gets me out of bed and sitting up before doing the routine of a restroom stop. In the old days, before cats, getting from the bedroom to the bathroom in the wee hours of the morning was no problem. But these day? With cats? It's an obstacle course. Muf almost always is waiting for me just outside the bedroom door and I've started using my flashlight app so I will see him and not fall. Then he weaves in and out of my feet as I walk to the bathroom. Back to the bedroom to gather up my clothes and then the scary trip down the stairs with him (really - I should videotape it) planting himself in front of me on every single step down.
This morning was particularly challenging to the bathroom 'cuz they were out of food so I had both of them to watch out for. But feeding them eliminated the risky trip down the stairs so that was good. Too busy eating to bother with their morning routine of escorting me down the stairs.
We are looking forward to the Carson City house with no stairs.
I've always liked the quiet in the morning - which is why I give up an hour of sleep and get up early. I like easing into the day -
As Chloe comes back in from her first trip outside, Muf has started going out. I worried a lot about her being outside when they first got here - and she has been missing for days at least once - but she likes to get outside and commune with nature. I check by the door often and eventually go out and call her and so far, she comes right back. Hoping she will continue to just spend a little time outside and then be happy to come back in.
I'd better get going on getting ready for work - I've been trying to add an hour or so at the end of each day to keep current on all the stuff my assistant would usually do.
We hope to send off our sketched out 'house plans' and ideas tomorrow - then they will start working on drawing what we've asked for. Think we will trek up there in mid-to-late September to look at plans and meet in person with the lender. I'm worried about all the decisions that will need to made in 'dark Winter' and told J. 'if we have to fly up there and Uber everywhere, that's what we'll do'. Though we have an AWD car now and cables for it but driving up the white knuckle section just as you approach the Reno valley is not something I want to do in snow/ice conditions.
J. just informed me that now both cats are out and about and I see Nala lurking around the pool equipment.
Lately, I've been waking up just before the alarm - which is nice. Gets me out of bed and sitting up before doing the routine of a restroom stop. In the old days, before cats, getting from the bedroom to the bathroom in the wee hours of the morning was no problem. But these day? With cats? It's an obstacle course. Muf almost always is waiting for me just outside the bedroom door and I've started using my flashlight app so I will see him and not fall. Then he weaves in and out of my feet as I walk to the bathroom. Back to the bedroom to gather up my clothes and then the scary trip down the stairs with him (really - I should videotape it) planting himself in front of me on every single step down.
This morning was particularly challenging to the bathroom 'cuz they were out of food so I had both of them to watch out for. But feeding them eliminated the risky trip down the stairs so that was good. Too busy eating to bother with their morning routine of escorting me down the stairs.
We are looking forward to the Carson City house with no stairs.
I've always liked the quiet in the morning - which is why I give up an hour of sleep and get up early. I like easing into the day -
As Chloe comes back in from her first trip outside, Muf has started going out. I worried a lot about her being outside when they first got here - and she has been missing for days at least once - but she likes to get outside and commune with nature. I check by the door often and eventually go out and call her and so far, she comes right back. Hoping she will continue to just spend a little time outside and then be happy to come back in.
I'd better get going on getting ready for work - I've been trying to add an hour or so at the end of each day to keep current on all the stuff my assistant would usually do.
We hope to send off our sketched out 'house plans' and ideas tomorrow - then they will start working on drawing what we've asked for. Think we will trek up there in mid-to-late September to look at plans and meet in person with the lender. I'm worried about all the decisions that will need to made in 'dark Winter' and told J. 'if we have to fly up there and Uber everywhere, that's what we'll do'. Though we have an AWD car now and cables for it but driving up the white knuckle section just as you approach the Reno valley is not something I want to do in snow/ice conditions.
J. just informed me that now both cats are out and about and I see Nala lurking around the pool equipment.
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