Lazy Saturday (Not)

I've made lists of things to get done today and am determined to do so.  After a short week that felt interminably tortuous, I was productive last evening as well.  Worked on organizing my desk; got caught up on managing our finances.  Set up a Christmas budget tracking device; made lists of gifts already purchased and ideas for other things. Made to-do lists as well - which helps me gather my thoughts and focus.

The budget is different this year - usually, I just shop and when the bills arrive, I move money from savings to cover items that are 'Christmas'.  I'm sure you can see the failure in this system - shopping and then covering the expenses vs. planning what to purchase.  So I've reserved an amount in our savings account for Christmas and as the purchases are made, I shift money over to cover the bill and see what's left.  I like this purposeful approach because I am selecting gifts very carefully and thoughtfully vs. just shopping.  The under the tree effect will be much lighter this year but I have something new I'm going to try and we'll see how it goes.  Ultimately, the boys would just prefer money and I don't mind providing that.  With a few carefully selected items to unwrap, a money gift will be their main item this year.

It will be a much lesser amount than years past.  Welcome to '50% of my parents are retired', boys.

Jim is at a church worship leader training for the morning.  I'm working on my lists and will get dressed shortly.  I brought work home that I plan to do here vs. going to the office.  I need to gas up the car, get to the post office, get to the bank and a couple other quick errands.

Last night, a friend Facebook messaged me - I had messaged her some time ago and she never responded.  I felt awkward that she didn't respond - and then noticed a week or so ago that her daughter was no longer in my Facebook friends.  She'd gone 'dark' - removed her profile - or defriended me. I felt bad about that but oh well.

Her daughter was in rehab with H. way back when - and last night, she told me that her daughter relapsed (seriously) and is in a residential program again.  Day 39 sober which is awesome.  She was hanging out with some really bad guys who pulled guns on her parents when they went to look for her. And the worst part is:  she has s two year old daughter who is now being cared for by her dad and the grandparents get to see her every other weekend.

These parents are good people and have done their best to help their daughter make better choices.  She keeps failing at the daily effort required to make those improved choices and I can't imagine how hard it is on her parents.  When they visited us after H. got home from the hospital, the girl said 'if I didn't have A. (her daughter), I would probably be dead'.  And I felt certain that parenthood would be the thing that helped her finally stay sober - but it wasn't.

I was pretty sure when my friend didn't acknowledge my message weeks back that something wasn't right - and that is true.  Her parents are doing everything they can for her - but ultimately, it's all her decision.

These parents are wonderful people and we've always danced a gentle dance with them.  H. is a rehab success story, really - while their daughter has continually struggled to make good choices.  It's always hard to know what to say to support and encourage them - but I try.  It's so hard to know they are going through the rehab process again - and that their daughter is using very serious things that could kill her. Seriously - kill her.  And she can't stop.

One of my errands today is to get a card for the daughter - just a note of 'hang in there' and 'we're thinking of you' for them to take to her next time they visit.  She is the sweetest girl - really, really sweet - and I just hope this time she figures it all out.  She is likely going to lose custody of her daughter but that's a consequence of her actions - and here's hoping that doesn't open up a 'screw it, what the hell' reaction that will lead her back to more bad behaviors.

This makes me so proud of H. - that for the most part, he's stuck with it.  He drinks with his friends and I'm sure he's smoked things now and then that I'd rather he not smoke.  But even with those things, I feel pretty certain that he's nowhere near in the bad place he was 4 years ago.  He seems to have gotten that being stoned all the time isn't any way to live a life.

Though somethings I think 'dude, having cancer should really motivate you to get your shit together'...but then I chastise myself and remind myself that he's young and they feel invincible at that age.

I'm re-watching this week's Scandal and last night, after I'd watched it for the first time, J. walked in to see me with my mouth gaping open and just 'OMG' coming out of my mouth.  Stunning.

And he casually informed me that this years season of Newsroom is it's last and only six episodes. CRAP.  I just hate that it's over so quickly - three quick seasons and then BOOM - done.

Alright - non-lazy Saturday commencing!  I'm off!

Raining

It's raining, which I'm sure was forecasted somewhere but caught me completely by surprise.  It's a good motivator for Chloe who got her businesses done in record time.

I slept in accidentally 'cuz it was just so warm and toasty under the covers, I couldn't bring myself to throw them back and move.  Though that method might be my new one 'cuz it works.  Just fling all the covers off in one swoop and jump out of bed.  Like jumping into the swimming pool only a little less gaspy.

The twelve hour day yesterday was productive and busy - a full stack of things awaiting my return.  I plowed through one thing after another all day and noticed the day seemed to be creeping by.  I'd feel like hours had passed and yet it would be only barely one hour.  A Wednesday that felt like a Monday was hard to take.  Disorienting, even.  But I made it through.

I just ordered a perfect gift for my boys for Christmas that I saw posted by a friend on Facebook.  It's silly, really, but will make a nice stocking stuffer.

Tonight, J. and I will (hopefully) finish putting the study closet back together.  It's a work in progress. Not much work happened on it yesterday but oh well.  It will get done.

As will cleaning my desk 'cuz it's a wreck.

I caught up on my DVR of shows we missed last week including last week's scandal and now I can't wait for tonight's episode.

An observations:  a 'plus size' model who is a size 10 is in the news and I just have to throw this out there: since when is size 10 considered plus size?  Seriously?  I was a size 10 when I had my kids and no one who knew me then would have considered me even remotely plus size.  So what does that make me now?  Is there a Plus Plus (and possibly add another) Plus size that I don't know about?  Really? The young lady is beautiful but we are all warped if we call her figure a Plus size model.  It's totally wrong and I'm not just saying that 'cuz of my size - I'm saying it 'cuz there are zillions of young girls out there who were perfectly beautiful size 10's or 12's who now think they are huge and need to do something about it.

A friend at work was down a bit this past week 'cuz she's decided that her legs are 'huge'.  This woman works out every single day for hours.  She eats strictly Paleo - not an ounce of sugar or carbs ever cross her lips.  She's my age - but she's trying to look like she's in her 20's - and it's not possible.  Only she insists it is.

When it gets really bad, we entice her with dark chocolate 'cuz a girl's got to have a treat now and then.

Off to the trenches.  I am placing myself in secure lock-down mode for most of the day 'cuz my big report is looming and I still have major things to take care of in order to be where I need to be by December.  Our December board meeting is early (the 9th) so I have to get moving!

Veteran's Day

Thank you to all the men and women who serve or have served in our country's military - including and especially Specialst B.T.M. at Ft. Bliss.

Now to update on the trip.  What a whirlwind weekend.  Non-stop action from morning until night and while there were plenty of times I sort of wished for a little 'me' time, I wouldn't have missed any of the things we did or people we saw or places we visited.  It was exactly what it was supposed to be - a mini-family reunion full of memories and fun.  My aunt's party was loads of fun - well attended. Amazing to see so many people over 90 in attendance and what amazing people they are.  They held nothing back, including commenting on H.'s earrings ('does your employer let you wear those to work?').  I didn't hear his reply - probably 'not working right now so....'.  They are the gauges and I hate them but oh well.  My aunt has led an amazing life and her friends were all just like her - full of life and energy and light - it was so much fun to be there and I'm so glad we didn't miss it.

I gained five pounds which is to be expected when you eat out daily and most especially when the meals include splurges like appetizers, alcoholic drinks and desserts.  Yummy food everywhere we went and we all indulged a bit.

We visited with folks day and night and then packed up to head to the airport yesterday morning.  B. was departing on a different airline so I realized at the car rental return terminal that we would need to say our goodbyes there.  I was already really psyched up for doing that - but thought we would be riding the bus together with him getting off before us or vice versa depending on terminal location.  But no, the buses were actually for each terminal.  Enjoyed a great bear hug and got choked up watching him hug his brother and dad - excited to be saying 'see you in a month' (which really helped keep emotions in check but still...).  When we had moved over to where our bus would pick us up, I had to resist the overwhelming urge to run back over to the Terminal 4 bus to give/get one more terrific hug.  I didn't do that, though - he would have been mortified.  And I remind myself that goodbyes aren't just hard for me/us, they are hard for him too.  My emotions create/add to his and it's equally as hard on him to say goodbye as it is me/us.  So better to just relish that we will see him in a month for two weeks at Christmas and that will be lovely.

Today has been laundry and massive grocery shopping.  I spent $45 more than I planned but pretty much got everything we need for Thanksgiving as well - except the pies.  We've got frozen blueberries so I'm considering baking a blueberry pie and a pumpkin pie myself - using store bought crust, though, 'cuz I've never been successful at making homemade crusts.  If I'm going to risk disaster by making pies ('cuz it's easy for them not to turn out as great as store bought and/or frozen), I'd better stick to just the filling for now.

Tomorrow is back to work and a long day - board meeting.  That's going to be a hard day to get through first day back...but I'm sure I will.

I am working little by little on putting back the study closet - it's just a huge mess 'cuz J. didn't supervise the removal process all that well.  Things are just willy nilly all over the garage and I keep looking at it with a 'huh, where did all this stuff go?' reaction over and over and over.  But it's got to be done.  Mornings are getting colder and I want my car in the garage to avoid frost.  No patience for defrosting in the morning.

Phoenix, you were as lovely as I remember - really, you are stellar when it's not 100+ outside.  We definitely plan to visit again soon - our hotel was lovely, conveniently located and easy to navigate. Plenty of trails for hiking, golf course. etc. .  There are a lot more freeways now than when I lived there and the loops and routes make it pretty easy to navigate.  You can get across the entire valley in way less time than in years past and while traffic is still traffic, it seemed 'easy', all things considered.  All the little 'towns' that used to be 'in the middle of nowhere' are now linked together - Phoenix is just a huge expansion of city after city.  It's amazing, really, how much it's all grown.  We went to dinner with my younger sister one night and met her at a place I used to visit - only there was nothing there but houses.  Now, it's a full blown extension of downtown Scottsdale and I could have explored there for days.

It's just before 4PM but we didn't really eat lunch and I'm starving - so heading in to whip up tacos!  We planned menus and made lists of things we have on hand 'cuz we stick to our budget so much better with just a little extra planning.

H. is out and about catching up with friends.  I really have to close by thanking my two sons who were wonderful sports about the trip.  They were dragged (though they were willing and sweet) from one place to another, meeting people over and over - family member after family member.  Doing their best to figure out who was related to who and how.  It wasn't a weekend full of things for them to do that they chose to do.  Nowhere for them to go - no car to drive.  Just accompany us everywhere we went which they did pleasantly and with good humor all weekend long.  They were really great troopers and I'm so glad we were all able to go.

And as always, thanks to my sweet husband - 'cuz he trekked along with everything, too without a single complaint.

Shopping

Christmas ads are already everywhere.  They start before Halloween and now that November is upon us, they ramp up exponentially.  No escaping it.  Christmas is coming!

I just finished getting gifts for family via Internet shopping and can cross that off my list...and I'm ecstatic about the selection I made 'cuz it's something that we all enjoy and will be fun to try.

I love how the Internet shows us things we would otherwise never see and in seeing, gives us so many ideas of ways to 'be the change'.  The opportunity to do good is all around us - we just have to find ways to do it and put those thoughts into action.

I'll share what the gifts were after the holidays 'cuz it's an amazing thing - can't wait to try it.

I am in my hometown which has morphed and changed so much - not only since I lived here 35+ years ago but even in just the last six to fourteen years since my last two visits.  Freeways everywhere which must be a good thing though they are always backed up.  Still, I marvel at what it would be like if the stop and go freeways didn't exist here 'cuz the population growth is phenomenal.

We had a wonderful dinner out with my oldest sister and her husband last night.  Decent night's sleep though always a challenge to balance masking J.'s snoring from my own.  It's a careful balance.

H. is in his own room and was exhausted - getting up at seven AM to get to the airport yesterday vs. his usual sleep until noon approach had him more than willing to return to the hotel post dinner and get some sleep.

The hotel is lovely - the only disappointment is no refrigerators in the rooms so the leftovers we brought from dinner will need to be consumed pronto.

Today, I'm getting showered shortly and then out to the cemetery to visit my parents' crypt.  I think that's what I'm supposed to call it - they are in a mausoleum vs. a grave.  Then possibly trekking way east to visit our old neighborhood - revisiting the home on Earll Drive which has been completely renovated.  And the home on Campbell Avenue which still looks the same, at least from the outside.

Then to the party headquarters (my aunt's house) to work on prepping food for tomorrow's festivities. B. flies in this evening with a 7:30PM arrival so we'll have to get him - or have someone get him given there are many arrivals today.  It's also a huge NASCAR event in town this weekend (of all weekends to travel here) and it's going to be wild at the airport today, for sure.

We upgraded our car to a Dodge Challenger - V8.  H. continues to have his mother wrapped around his little finger and when the Avis guy gave us a discount and then found an even better discount after I'd declined his first offer, we did it.  We all regret it now, of course, 'cuz it's a two door and is completely impractical for a family of four.  But it does move when required - so there's that.

Tonight is dinner plans with my other sister.  Tomorrow, the 'big event' and then whatever the evening holds.  Sunday is full of events also and I can't wait for Sunday!

We heading home Monday.  We're going to have to try to come out for a weekend once in awhile 'cuz it's a lovely place and I have so many people to see and visit.  Once every six to eight years isn't enough.  It really isn't.

Jim is out walking the trails around the hotel and he just texted that he's at the turn back point in his walk - so I'd better get my turn in the shower and get ready for the day.  Busy-ness ensuing shortly.

Kitchen Sink

We started our preparation for our trip to Phoenix by inventing "Everything But the Kitchen Sink" salad for dinner.  Leftover bits of salami, pepperoni, chicken breasts we marinated in the leftover pesto from dinner the night before, various cheeses, romaine lettuce fresh from the farm (thanks to coworker who brings fresh produce most weeks and shares) and homemade Caesar dressing.  It was yummy!

This morning, we followed with EBtKS smoothies - the last yogurt, two bananas that would not survive the next four days, all the cut watermelon left in the fridge blended with the last almond milk. SCORE!  We did it!  Lived off the land this week AND cleaned out the fridge!

One less thing for someone to do if.....why does my mind always go there when we're flying anywhere?  Why?

Now it's time to shower, quickly pack - we are only taking two suitcases for three people and while that sounds completely do-able, I have a feeling it's going to be a free-for-all of 'my stuff' vs. 'your stuff'. We'll manage.  I've sketched out the leanest of wardrobes for the trip and while I'd like to take multiple outfit changes, I won't.  Jeans on most days with a nicer outfit for the actual party.  Nothing fancy - just cute pants that I love and don't wear too often 'cuz they are a little 'fancy-ish'.

Travel always results in many 'arghs' and 'grrrs'.....just the little things that you fret about as you pack your life away for a few days of fun.  The neighbors have graciously agreed to watch our front porch for packages 'cuz we ordered some things not considering the timing of our departure.  They are very nice and I will bring them something Arizona-ish as a thank you.  So help me think of what that should be?  Heat in a bottle?  Rocks?

I got work wrapped up in record time - and while there is always much to do and I'm leaving much undone for now, it will keep.  I'm still connected and available and the place will survive without me.

Chloe reluctantly went to the puppy spa - J. said she hid behind his leg.  It makes me worry that she's not OK but when we see pictures of her, she's absolutely fine - she just prefers to be home like we do.

Time to get showered and dressed.  Long drive to SFO ahead.  At least we're not traveling overseas.  No packing for long stretches of amusing ourselves; no need to pack snacks.  Just get there and get to the hotel and then enjoy one event after another after another.

Phoenix, here we come.  

Finally, Moisture!

Yesterday was the first truly 'big' rain we've had in ages.  Of course, it occurred when I was driving home from Sacramento.  It was quite a trip.  Several really bad accidents including one where a semi cab went through the freeway rails and fell 60 feet.  The driver did not survive.  Traffic backed up in both directions forever.  I got off the freeway and meandered.

I took a strange route through Stockton that had me seeing the most amazing older homes - cruising through parts of the town I've never been in.  I stopped for a nice leisurely lunch...wasn't planning to go back to the office and no need to rush.  Enjoyed Chinese food and a pot of hot tea and brought home takeout for dinner.

Found myself by an oddly placed AM/PM market so bought MegaMillions (it's HUGE right now) and Powerball - 'cuz the fortune cookies I got with my lunch all had to do with finance!  And while I was opening the one that said 'your financial future is secure', the Titanic theme was playing and Celine Dion was singing at the top of her lungs.  What a sign!  Right?  I texted J. and told him and he said 'are you going to go east on Highway 4 instead of heading home?  (going to Jackson instead).  But no.  If it's meant to be, it will be.  But I did buy Lotto and Scratchers and the ladies at the store were saying 'you must feel really lucky' - and I did.

I didn't win Mega last night but no one did so yeah!  And I am going to Jackson soon so we'll see about the Titanic.

I haven't scratched the Lottery tix yet so there's still hope.  I thrive on hope.  Hope springs eternal.

Today, I got a hair cut with the new stylist recommended by my previous stylist.  Her name is Elyse and she's as sweet as she can be and she gave me a great hair cut!  She's been in touch with my former stylist and assures me she's fine - I'm so relieved.  You know me - I hate not knowing the story and while I still don't know much of the story, I know she's OK and that's enough for me. Splurged on some new hair thickening shampoo (40% off all products today) and the styling spray I like.

Then I drove to Lodi to lunch with a longtime friend - 30 years this year!  We always just pick up where we left off and we had a great time catching up -

The shelves are back in the study closet so I'll spend part of tomorrow putting things back.  The mornings are cold and I really want my car back in the garage ASAP.

We're watching football - Oregon vs. Cal.  (or vice versa.  I never know which goes first).  Really, J. is watching - I'm just in the room.

The Giants won the world series in an incredibly stressful Game 7.  I had plans to go out to dinner with a group of my CBO friends.  It takes us forever to find a night when we can all go - but we did it and booked the 'date' about a month ago.  That morning, I thought "I really would rather watch the game"...but I didn't want to be the one that cancelled.  But around 8AM, a group text came through with a pleading 'hey, I love y'all but it's the World Series and I don't want to miss the game'.  So we all got our secret wish and watched them take the title.  H. and his friends went in to San Fran yesterday to witness the celebration but the rain put a damper on things so they visited a friend who lives in the city and watched Halloween themed movies all night.  He arrived home early this morning.

We're getting excited for the trip to Phoenix next weekend - it's going to be a whirlwind, jam-packed few days.  B. had to change his ticket to arrive on Friday evening 'cuz his new unit won't let him leave Thursday night - so that's kind of a bummer but oh well. H. will have that hotel room to himself the first night.

And we found out that the Miss Arizona pageant also has activities at the venue where the birthday party is being held - so this should be interesting.  My two sons and a bunch of beautiful girls.  Oh, and other young male cousins.  It's going to be interesting.

Pins & Needles

Facebook is apparently down!  What do I do with myself?  I wonder if it's tied in any way to their stock crashing after the market closed on news of their forecasted increased expenses for next year?  Are they trying to illustrate how integral the site is to people all over the world?

I always have plenty to do so there, Facebook!  A blog post instead!

I've been home a couple days with stomach issues.  I will spare you the details.  Things are improving and I hope to be at work tomorrow.  I actually must be at work tomorrow 'cuz I'm off a couple days next week and have a lot to do - now two days behind on things.

We've been on pins and needles awaiting news from B. - he finally texted J. to confirm that he made it into the unit he had to try out for this week.  We are so happy for him and so, so proud of him.  He shared a little with J. who shared a little with me and I'm so proud that he was his true self in the interview - instead of answering in the expected way, he stuck to his core self - and answered in a way that makes a parent proud.  Whatever else life is, you have to know who you are and stick to that - and he's doing that in a spectacular way.  We are so thrilled for him - and he's over the moon excited, too. Can't wait to see him next weekend and celebrate with him in person.

I bumped up against the Ninja blender blades as I was tidying up the kitchen yesterday and it sliced my finger!  It's still bleeding a day later and hurts like the dickens.  It's just an irritating cut in a bad place. That thing is uber sharp and makes me a bit afraid of it.  It's got to be cleaned but we are definitely going to just let it soak in the blender pitcher and/or run it through the dishwasher.  I might have to buy us safety gloves to put it in and take it out of the dishwasher. 

J. has been working on a variety of projects - he repainted the study closet (looks fantastic!) so we can work on putting things away this weekend.  (I miss having my car in the garage and as the mornings get colder, the frost on my window makes me crazy).  He's also been working on labeling and identifying slides for the party we're attending next weekend - and also just to have the slides on a computer instead of in boxes and bags.  Reliving a lot of memories in the process.  I used to look pretty good in a bikini.  

J. and I have decided to give each other the perfect Christmas gift:  updating the navigation systems on our cars with the latest maps.  It's probably a statement of where we are in life - we have no idea what to give each other for gifts these days - so updating software is the best we can do!  I've gotten lost a couple times in towns where the growth isn't in my map set from six years ago - so it will be nice to know where I'm going.  And J., bless his heart, has never updated his nav and his car is a decade old. It's time.  

Linguine and clams for dinner!  Yum!  (It will either kill me or cure me).