Revenge

I convinced myself to spend yesterday home 'alone'. J. went to his office for the day and the boys were here but in and out. They slept most of the day so it was like they weren't home.

I read a couple blogs and one of them suggested the series "Revenge" on ABC. This person said they hesitated to get involved with another series - and how the subject seemed implausible to be maintained for a long term run. Then they watched some episodes on their laptop - all are available online free - and they were hooked.

So I spent the day working in the study and watched 6 episodes....multi-tasking all the while....and now I'm totally hooked, too! It's a great story and it's compelling and it really does draw you in and you can't wait to see what happens next!

I went in to work for a part of this morning - and then headed to the movie theater in Manteca. Lunch at Red Robin - a chicken teriyaki sandwich and a few fries. Then went to see The Hunger Games....and it was awesome. Disorienting in some ways - I'm not a big fan of the filming method - I spent the first 20 minutes concentrating really hard on trying NOT to focus. Impossible to watch without feeling topsy-turvy. It is intentional and it does truly sort of put you in the place of the main characters - thrown in to situations they can't imagine and are struggling to navigate. It worked - you feel just like them. It was a great movie....enjoyed every second. And I did have popcorn with fake-butter and water. No Milk Duds or Good 'n Plenty. No sugar. The treat was the lunch and I savored every bite.

I am now watching more Revenge - next Wednesday is a new episode so I want to be all done with old episodes by then.

Tomorrow is working at home (brought laptop and projects home) then heading to lunch with a friend in Pleasanton. Might drive to San Ramon to go to Whole Foods - curious to see what it's like and if shopping there provides any additional variety that I can't find here in terms of no dairy, etc.

Last night, I dreamed J. and I owned 'antennae farms' all over the place. We had to pack and move the antennae from one rooftop to another all day long. It was 'fun' (in the dream) and we were both in pretty great shape - they were big and bulky. But we are both a bit acrophobic so hanging out on rooftops was more than a little unsettling. I'd do the work and then sit, a bit paralyzed for a bit, before I could move down and climb back up to start on the next roof.

I know there's a message there....

I know what it is....

Endings

I have been a member of a women's organization since my college days. I have never been an 'active' member. I was active in the chapter I originally joined but then I moved to Northern California and never re-established the same 'kinship' with the new Chapter here. Add to that moving 40+ miles east from there and never considering joining a more local chapter....I've been happy to be uninvolved. Too many commitments on my time as it is much less adding meetings and events to the calendar. Tried that with the Lions group I joined and that was a fun time - but I was never more glad than the day I stepped off that treadmill.

My 'home' chapter (that I joined when I moved to Hayward in 1984) is dissolving. The membership has been on the decline for decades. They have tried to merge with other chapters but the other chapters don't want to do that. Not the sisterly thing to do - but I understand adding a group of total strangers to your tight-knit 'family' might be a challenge. Can't blame them for that.

I wrote the annual check for my dues - and then it got buried on the desk that we culled off today. Since I wrote that check, I received a letter outlining the options members have. I have already been contacted by my local chapter and while the lady on the other end of the phone did her best to persuade me to come to a meeting, I politely declined. They hold evening meetings and I have enough evening commitments for work as it is, thank you very much. Something my 25-year-old self was never able to say - a polite 'no, thank you - I am very busy with work commitments - many of which are in the evenings - so I don't think I would be able to attend meetings regularly'. So I dodged that bullet and stayed 'un-attached'.

One of the options outlined in the letter is to return my pin to my 'home' chapter and request 'inactive status'. And after careful consideration, that is what I am going to do. I have voided the dues check and written a letter to enclose with the pin - confirming that I have decided to become an inactive member.

I can hear my mom and my grandmother and possibly my aunt (who is still alive, blessedly) 'tsk-tsking' under their breath....maybe my member sister, also. But the truth is - it's just never been my thing. I enjoyed the first few months of the group I originally joined with - but then I moved and the 'connection' was never even remotely close to the same. The group is full of rituals and rules and things you dare-not-do and things you should-always-do....and I never understood/got much of that. It just always felt like other people had the playbook - and I never knew there was a playbook most of the time, much less had any idea what the dos and don'ts were....

It isn't hard for me to step off the platform of a group I never connected with. There are members who hope to find chapters to join and they can't do that as long as they are 'tied' to a dying chapter. So I wish them all well. I really do -

And now I can skip the entire 'instructions' of the procedures in place for when a member dies 'cuz there are a bunch of rules about what happens to your pin when you die. I don't know all those rules - though I know they exist and followed them to the letter when my mother died....at least the ones I knew. My kids can just skip all that - the pin will be properly handled before my death. Eliminating one more list on my sons' 'your mom died' to-do list.

It's been a lovely, quiet day. The boys were beyond thrilled with their Easter surprises. J. helped me tidy up my desk and we worked in the garden for a bit - planted lettuce, squash, bell peppers, some dill and basil and lots of pansies. It's looking a lot like Spring and to prove it, two gorgeous butterflies flitted around the yard for a bit, enjoying the flowers and the sunshine.

Happy Easter

The Easter Bunny left six Reese's Peanut Butter eggs and little peanut butter chocolate covered bunnies. He also left the thing that young adult men appreciate the most as a gift...cash, in cute little bunny themed cards.

Mr. Bunny also is giving each boy a full tank of gas 'on the house' with the only restriction being they have to wait until tomorrow and go to Costco to fill up - saves close to 20 cents a gallon over the Chevron price.

H. goes back to school tomorrow and B. starts his Spring Break. J. is working most of the week and I have decided to also work - tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday for sure. I will still sleep in so it will feel more like a break.

J. is helping me tackle the mess known as my desk - now time to wade through the carefully sorted stacks and file, shred, etc.

Dinner will be in process around 3 - B. is working all day so we are timing dinner to be around 5:15 when he arrives home. Ham, au gratin potatoes, green bean casserole and brownies with homemade whip cream for dessert.

We are also planting in the garden a bit today - pondering how it is that the raised beds we built last year are now almost completely shaded by the trees next to them. Duh. Should have thought of that. Now not sure how anything will grow there -

I'm watching Courtship of Eddie's Father while I tidy up...I love that show...

A Facebook friend lost her only son in a car accident a couple days ago....I don't know her personally, but feel like I do. I've been hugging the boys extra tightly the past couple days; working hard on reaching out instead of pushing away. It's a lesson in the fragility of life and how you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Today we celebrate the certainty that this life is just temporary. The real life begins beyond this earthly existence. I really love that and while Christmas is my favorite holiday, this one is a very close second.

He is Risen!

Don't Do It!

Right this minute, go watch this video:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/transgender-miss-universe-contestant-interview-barbara-walters-16085743

Not because of the topic....ignore that.

But because of this: what in the hell has Barbara Walters done to her face?

Seriously, people - why do people do stupid procedures like whatever it is she has obviously done?

People need to stay with the face God gave them.

Her face doesn't look as altered in the interview part of the video - but with Katie Couric, she looks unbelievably different.....

Hail!

Wow - what amazing weather! Windy day but gorgeous and clear. Around 6PM, clouds rolled in - patchy, brownish clouds....the thunder started...followed by huge downpours...and then, hail! Huge hail....those raindrops traveling around and around in very cold, windy skies. What an exciting end to the week! Spring Break arrived!!

We had Mountain Mike's pizza for dinner and I enjoyed ever delicious morsel. First cheese I've had in 4 weeks -

J. is playing at church tonight and tomorrow night....H. has a friend (a girl) upstairs watching movies...her car needs new tires so she's hanging out here until the rain/hail stops and things dry out a bit. B. went to the gym.

Chloe is doing well. She's able to eat more today but she still spends a good portion of her day sleeping...which is good. She seems to realize that too much food right now would not be good - she doesn't seem interested in food until she's really hungry and then she let's us know - so she's eating less than 1/2 of what she usually eats. Better to keep her pancreas working less hard at the moment. She's perky and chipper (when she's awake) and she's back to barking at the gardener, doorbell rings, etc.

I'm enjoying a Doris Day marathon on TMC - love her movies and two of my favorites have been on tonight - so it's a great way to spend the evening -

I have 10 days of sleeping in ahead of me! Work will be involved a bit...but the thought of 10 days of no alarm clock is great!!

Chloe-Bear

is greatly improved. She's still spending most of her time curled up on the floor nearby...but when I got home and came in through the garage door, I got three twirls....she twirls when she's excited....and last night, she barely moved when I got home. Tonight, it was twirls, a quick trip outside, a little play time, a little of her new food...She is so much better and I'm so relieved. I'm so glad J. was able to stay home with her today - she was able to eat a tablespoon of food every few hours and that seems to have perked her up also.

Tomorrow is the last day before the break. At the very least, I will sleep in while still possibly going in a couple days next week. Definitely Thursday because we are screening apps for a position we are interviewing for as soon as we're back from the break - one of my direct reports moved to a new job so we are replacing that positions ASAP. I hope so 'cuz I spent a big chunk of today doing his job on top of mine - and that's not great for me. Too busy already to add another job to the mix. It won't be long...

As always, there are so many 'to-dos' on the list here...

The cabinet guy gave us an estimate on just the bathrooms - and for what he quoted, we think we could buy a room full of cabinets. We're going to head to Lowe's and Home Depot and see if we can order or buy the cabinets for over the toilets ourselves...we are reasonably confident that with the two boys assisting us with the lifting and positioning and holding in place while we bolt to the studs, we can do it ourselves...and save a lot of money. I don't know what his quote will be for the pantry but based on his quote for three small over-the-toilet cabinets, it will be ridiculous. Plus it's taking him forever. It's been over three weeks since he was here - and he finally emailed me the quote for just the bathrooms and said we need to arrange to have his cabinetmaker come look at the pantry - though he didn't suggest a time to do that. We waited three weeks for him to be available for the quote!

So far, Angie's List isn't really working for us all that great....hard to find people with very many reviews - and without reviews, the companies don't appear in any searches.

We planted a Jacaranda tree in the front yard last year - and while every living plant around us is returning to beautiful, lush Spring growth, the Jacaranda is doing barely anything. I see 'buds' on it - so I'm thinking it is still alive - but it's not growing yet. I remind myself that I think it's a tree that is typically in warmer climates - and it's still barely 70 here and was much cooler than that today with a steady breeze. So we need some true warmth and hopefully the tree will take off.

We also have a solar company bugging us to sit down with them and show them our electric bills - which I won't do. It's like cell phone vendors - show them your current bills and they will structure a 'plan' that is just a wee bit lower than what you've been paying. I want them to quote what our energy rate with them will be without having any idea what we pay every month - otherwise, what's the point? They say they will install the panels for free and then for whatever the length of contract is, we buy our electricity from them. We have the perfect roof for it - but again, they want to know what we're currently spending - and I'm not telling them that. Let's see what their proposal is first and then we'll go from them.

J. is at church for rehearsal - he's playing twice this week! I'm watching Survivor and then heading up to bed.....

Pets....

Our sweet little Chloe is one sick dog...poor baby. You know when you have the flu so badly that all you can do is stay in bed, not moving, not watching TV...just lying there thinking you are so, so sick, you don't want to move? That's our Chloe. She is so ill, she just lies there...

She has pancreatitis - treatable. She got an injection of antibiotics, fluids in her 'skin' that absorb into her body (like an IV she can have at home), a restricted diet (for the next week or so, at least)....

She has been 'off' for a few days - and when I got home last night, while I was working in the kitchen, it was pretty clear something was majorly wrong.

We called our regular vet first thing this morning - and the soonest they would have a vet in the office was 10:15. We took that appointment. About 5 minutes later, they called back to ask if we could take her in later - the vet would be doing a surgery as soon as he arrived. So we called a different vet in town who had a doctor there within 1/2 hour - so we took her there. Either change vets immediately or drive her to the emergency vet clinic 30+ miles away in commute traffic. We called our regular vet back and cancelled. And I'm thinking of sending them a letter - I think they are downsizing because business is off - and I feel bad about that for them - but it's a vicious circle. They lost $550+ today - because they didn't have a vet that could see our pet at 8 in the morning. We would have actually spent more than that - 'cuz they are the most expensive vet in town and that's what we paid the 'new' less expensive vet. How long can you operate a business where people go to the other vet in town 'cuz you don't have staff that can see sick animals right away?

We feel she is in good hands - and the vet is confident she will be OK. I hope so 'cuz losing another pet is just not something I can cope with at the moment.

And, small thing....yet not when you've had $200 in vet bills already this month - they gave us a 10% 'senior' discount! We will probably stay with them now and start taking all the pets there....

Tonight was board meeting night so it's been a really long day - I'm heading up to feed the loudly meowing cat that is begging for his dinner. Hoping for a decent night's sleep 'cuz I'm not getting that lately and it's wearing on me.

Only two more days before the break....a break I desperately need. It is getting so jammed up with work commitments, etc. - but darn it all to heck, I'm going to wedge in some 'me' time somehow....