Cali Who?

It appears that the lovely, charming Cali-Sue (I don't know why I added Sue to her name...it just seems to fit) wasn't suffering from abandonment related to a foreclosure or anything that bad. Perhaps she was merely left to her own devices while her human family went away for a three day weekend because I haven't seen her once since Monday morning. So she's moved on to mooch off other families? Or to return home. The bowls are still out on the front porch and in the back yard but there's been no sign of her. I'm not thinking anything's happened to her other than she went home. And she'll be welcomed back whenever she returns. We like having a 'stray' cat friend now and then. Well, I like it - and J. indulges me - 'cuz he's sweet like that.

I'm off tomorrow - at least mostly off. My PC is being upgraded and I have to go in around 1ish to see how the conversion is going. Hopefully, all will be well and I'll have a brand new, super fast, oh-so-much-lighter laptop! Yippee! The current one is getting odd 'memory' messages and occasional 'blue screens of almost death' - and our IT guy said 'replace it before something horrible happens'. So we did. Can't wait.

4 day weekend looming with just working around the house on the list. Possibly a lunch date with my husband....and I need to go back to Macy's and return a couple things. An excuse to drive to the 'big mall' again.

My cousin D. in Edmond, OK. emailed me to confirm they are OK - scared me to pieces when I read that the tornadoes in Oklahoma hit Edmond - many cousins live there. I emailed her pleading to 'send me an email that you're alright - or I'll have to shock the heck out of you and call you!'. Looking forward to her blog update SOON, I hope 'cuz I've missed the happenings in her life lately.

I am heading out the door to a Lions meeting shortly. Wishing I didn't have to go 'cuz Survivor premieres tonight and I hate to miss it - but I'll be home to watch it with J. on our DVR.

Boys are (still) driving me crazy. B. has (I hope) made a decision related to college that is the better decision - one we have been hoping for. We will see if he sticks to it. His grades are still lacking and the effort to change that isn't happening either - so we're at impasse on many topics. He frustrates me....I am reassured by many family and friends that this is all 'normal'; that they do improve and become lovely people someday. But for now, we muddle through. He has made some bad choices/decisions lately - and assumes no responsibility for much of it. Yet, it is what it is. It can't be ignored. I know he knows this....but he's still holding out hope for a miracle. Or a change of heart. HIS HEART is telling him what he should do - he's just resisting listening to it. And he knows what the better decision is. I'm praying it's settled soon - I'm pretty sure I'm getting an ulcer and while work is certainly a component of that, the situation with him is not helping any.

Bye for now - off to hear high school students in a speech contest sponsored by Lions.

Cali

Cali was back this morning. I've confirmed it's a girl! She heard me take Chloe out and next thing I knew, she was back on her perch on top of the shed, awaiting her breakfast. I obliged.

The boys and I are off today - and we're heading to the 'big mall' in Modesto. I need bras. While I shop at Macy's, the boys can head to Zumiez or wherever. We can meet up again around lunch time. B. is at the gym but thinks he'll be home in time for us to head out the door by 11ish. He has to be back for work by 4 and I have a lot to finish in the study - and a (small) list of work things I should take care of as well.

Chloe is so taken with Cali that they came nose to nose this morning. Chloe is still outside, 'hanging out' with the cat. THAT alone is worth the trouble of feeding her - Chloe only likes to be outside if we're hanging out with her - and I can't spend all day out there while she sniffs around, lounges in the sun, etc. So perhaps an 'outdoor' cat isn't such a bad thing.

I have to go fill up the car, stop at the bank and also now add 'buy cheap cat food' (Purina brand vs. the Nutro brand our cats eat) for Cali. I don't mind feeding her but I am thrifty and she'll be fine with Purina. She devoured the entire bowl of dry food I left on the front porch last night- well, at least she and perhaps a few of her neighborhood cats did. I didn't stay up to watch who visited the feeding bowl.

I hope I'm not turning into the 'cat lady of Tracy'.

Cat

This afternoon, as we were taking out yet another recycle bin full of papers, etc. from the study makeover, a small, sweet Calico cat was sitting on the roof of our storage shed. S/he (don't know what it is yet - haven't gotten close enough to look) was pretty lovey - let me scratch his head and was lying down with glee at the petting.

I raced upstairs to get some cat food (since our two cats live upstairs, that's where all the cat supplies are) and raced back downstairs to find a small bowl. As soon as s/he smelled the food, s/he raced down from the roof and braved the dog - THAT'S how hungry s/he was - it braved a DOG to come down and eat. It was shaking as it ate - almost too excited or afraid the food would be taken by another animal. It gulped down a full packet of food - the same packet of food that feeds our two very large cats each night. Poor thing. It is skin and bones. And cute as a button.

We just returned from dinner and the cat was waiting in the front yard for us. J. is not pleased. I asked him, earnestly 'just what is your problem with me feeding a stray cat'? He said 'I don't want another pet to feed'. To which I replied 'J., I'm just feeding it. I'm not bringing it inside, getting it de-clawed and adding a third feline to our home [and if you disapprove of declawing cats, I understand. I didn't want to either - but I didn't want the banisters of our staircase used as a scratching post either]. I'm just feeding a cat who appears to be on the verge of starvation. I don't see what the harm is in that'. I brought down some dry catfood and put it in a bowl on the front porch - and s/he went after it as foraciously as s/he'd eaten the moist food only 3 hours earlier.

I don't know where this cat's family is or where they went. There are a lot of foreclosed, vacant homes in our neighborhood and perhaps s/he was left behind in a quick move. I don't know. S/he is clearly a pet - too tame and too willing to be petted to be a feral stray. S/he's had a family and a home and plenty to eat - and now appears to not have those things.

And as long as I'm able, I'm going to offer food - and a place to hang out. I'm not taking it in or planning to add it to our home's pet inventory. But I have food and a heart and I'm not letting it starve. Not on my watch.

Is s/he going to be annoying? Possibly. But if all it wants is food and water and an occasional petting, I'm good with that. S/he's clean and looks healthy - just skinny and in need of food and companionship. I can do that. WE can do that. And we're going to.

My husband has a heart of gold. He'd give you the shirt off his back if you needed it...and he loves our animals. He really does. I know that he's thinking 'I know this cat is going to end up in our home'. And I just have to reassure him 'no, s/he will not. We don't want more pets. We've agreed that the pets we have now are the last pets we will have - we want to travel and be able to go wherever we want to when we retire, so adding pets is NOT part of that plan. I'm not changing the plan. I'm just altering it to include 'feeding a stray cat'. That's all.

I feel sorry for it - I think it's been abandoned by a family and I don't want it to starve to death. My heart just can't take that.

For now, I'm calling it 'Cali'. Short for calico.

Pithy

Unusual for a Saturday, I awoke determined to tackle something BIG. Refusing to witter away the day on things that I would not remembering doing nor find any value in, I decided to tackle the room known as the 'study'. This is the room that J. and I spend the majority of our time in - tip-tapping across from each other surfing the web, reading/writing blogs, handling our finances, etc.

Because we spend so much time in this room, this is also the room that undoubtedly has the most 'hot spots'. The surfaces of this room get full of 'stuff' far more quickly than any other room - and we fail to tackle it very often because it just grows exponentially until we just can't fathom where to start.

But start we did. There are now surfaces showing where previously was stuff. We identified things that don't belong in here and moved them to where they do belong. A lot of the clutter was paper that needed to be filed - and that required culling out the file cabinets. It's always like that, isn't it? One thing leads to another and to another. Usually, once I realize that I can't really file anything 'cuz the files drawers are full of other stuff and THAT requires culling also, I give up. But not yesterday. We culled and culled - filled recycle bins, shred bins, trash bags. And finally feel like some sense of order has been restored, at least for the time being. We still have a ways to go today but we are making progress.

While culling, I've found all kinds of things....walking down memory lane looking at pics of the kids when they were little, etc. And among the treasures uncovered was a 5x8 envelope full of things I used to have on my first corporate world job - yes, I know what you're thinking - wow, that stuff is OLD. Yes, it is. And I will be taking some of the items found to work with me on Tuesday to put up on my bulletin board border along my desk. Some of these things are good reminders.

I'm always looking for words that describe a feeling....a series of reminders to me of things that I want to ingrain and embrace. I especially did a lot of that in my 20's - a decade fraught with insecurity and fear of the unknown. Out of college and 'on my own', living the dream....but it was a tough decade for me...and I had all sorts of 'touchstones' that I used to help me remember some things that I felt so deeply important back then. Thankfully, as I read them again this morning, they are still true...possibly more so as I struggle with raising two teen boys and wrestle with the recent events in our economy.

Here are some of the 'signs' I used to have on my desk. I can't give credit to the authors because I typed the sayings out and printed them and cut them out and posted them...so not intending to take credit. If I know the author, I'll show it - but for some, I don't. These are not MY words...they are just things that touched me way back when...that reminded me of what I wanted for myself:

'It's not the event that causes stress - it's your interpretation of the event that causes stress.'

'Happiness is the exercise of your vital abilities along lines of excellence in the life that affords their scope. You are happy if you are doing your thing - not necessarily achieving it - in a life that affords you the chance.'

'This is the true joy of life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one: the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.'

'Sometimes you just have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down.' Kobi Yamada

'If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you.' Sister Mary Tricky

'If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.' Lou Whitaker

'You can't make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?' Bob Moawad


I still enjoy reading these and they still apply to my current, 20-years forward life as they did back then.

And on that last note, I will get off my butt and get back to work!

Connection

I have searched and searched over the years for a long lost high school friend. Last I knew, she was married and in Colorado. I was in her wedding and my memory bank had retained her new last name and her husband's name. The Internet usually makes finding people easy - and her name is not common - or so I thought. Turns out there's dozens of her all over the country. Married/maiden name - same thing. Dozens and dozens.

I wandered over to the Classmates.com website the other day - got 'tricked' into buying a Gold membership because someone had posted on my message board and I couldn't see who until I paid the fee. Oh well. Turned out, I didn't even know the guy who posted - he went to my grade school though I have no recollection of him whatsoever. Sucker punched! Those Classmates guys are sneaky.

I figured just one more time, I would type in her name and search for her. No luck. But, a 'people search' website popped up with a long list of people with her name. None in Colorado. One in Arizona. Hmmm.....she grew up in Arizona (me, too!)....so I clicked on her name - and there she was! It was most definitely her - same married name and her maiden name, too. Referenced her husband under the 'associated with'. Eureka! I found her. I did a 411.com search on her name and found her in Scottsdale! Couldn't wait to call. Got voicemail every time I tried..and finally left a message.

It's hard leaving a message for someone you haven't seen in over 20 years.....I know I sounded like a lunatic....the emotion in my voice at having found her finally made me sound all choked up....it was her...I'd remember that voice anywhere....no voice recognition software needed....I fumbled through a message and waited....

And waited....

I got a voicemail from her today [I'm home with a headachy, sore throat thing and went to sleep as soon as I got home - damn my love for naps 'cuz I missed her call] - she is having some issues (two deaths in her immediate family in the past couple months that are keeping her wrapped up), kid troubles (boy, can I relate to that one!). But she left a message that sounded equally as excited to reconnect with me and said she'll call back as soon as she can because she knows we're going to need a lot of time to get caught up. She's right about that....just our kids alone will be an hour (she has two boys like me!).

I can't wait.....we had the most fun in high school - she is the one bright spot (well, her and Mr. B. who ya'll already know all about) in four years of teenage angst. One if my best-est friends ever! I can't wait to talk to her....I know we're going to pick up right where we left off....

TARP

For the record:

don't read everything you read about some banks and their excesses. There's a lot of spin out there....so don't buy into every word you read. Or hear.

Some banks were FORCED to take the 'bail out' funds. They didn't need them, didn't seek them out and would have preferred to have not received them. They weren't given that option. They were FORCED by the US Treasury to accept them - and are dutifully putting them to work lending to customers who need restructuring of mortgages to avoid foreclosure. It's pretty hard for the employees of banks like that to hear the press bash them right and left regarding 'excesses', etc. in light of 'such and such bank receiving bail out funds'. Yes, they received them - but that's not the same as asking for them or needing them. A few did not need them - but took them because they had to. THEY HAD TO. When Uncle Sam says 'take these monies and lend them', they did. It's inaccurate to say they are 'using' bail out funds for other legitimate business expenses. And it's wrong to penalize the employees who work their butts off for their company - not to mention putting them through crappy press coverage.

The cream rises to the top and the distorted press reports will play themselves out. But I wish the press did a better job of clarifying the definition of 'bail out' funds. Not ALL banks receiving TARP funds NEEDED them.

And, these same banks are paying HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS in quarterly dividends to the government for the preferred stock those funds 'purchased'. Uncle Sam is getting a pretty damn good return on the 'investment' they made in these banks. No press coverage ever mentions THAT - at least not much. Maybe in the fine print at the bottom of a long article bashing banks about 'misusing bail out funds'.

All of the above being said: perception is reality to 99.9% of America - so best to cool it with festivities of any kind lest you get a bad rap about your activities. It wasn't your choice to take the funds - but you do have them - and that is a responsibility that can't be ignored. The average person in our country is just trying to survive - so perhaps the money being spent on employee recognition could go towards employee recognition programs that don't make the front page or CNN. Just an idea. Starbucks Gift Cards, anyone?

FAF What?

This afternoon, I completed B's FAFSA form - it's an acronym for Free Application for Federal Student Aid. It took about two hours. Required tax returns, a calculator and patience. Thankfully, it was all online - and we were able to set up the 'secret code' numbers for us to sign the application on line and submit. I remember doing this during my college days - thankfully, the paperless version is far easier, though still time consuming. Since we haven't filed our taxes yet, I had to estimate our 2008 information and will have to go in and correct it when we file. Estimating is hard to do...especially when we don't have all our 1099-INT, etc. But I did what I could.

We don't qualify for any aid - I'm sure of that. But you still have to fill it out to be eligible to receive Stafford non-subsidized loans - and every little bit of loans we can get 'automatically' will be less we have to apply for ourselves - so we did it. The formula indicates the Feds expect us to contribute HALF - a full 50% - of our monthly take home towards B's expenses. That's ridiculous! I mean, we're doing fine and managing to stay afloat and still save - but there is absolutely no frickin' way we can pitch in HALF of our monthly take home. Wait - scratch that. We could if we didn't eat; started making our mortgage every other month instead of every month. I don't know how they calculate the 'available monthly funds' parents should reasonably consider contribution - but Holy Cow! I was stunned. I submitted the form and we'll see what loans are available. I absolutely refuse to stop contributing to J's 401K...and I don't have any choice regarding pitching in for the State retirement fund. ...so I really have no idea what else we could lower...but I guess we'll be figuring that out as we go.

H. has had multiple opportunities to take his permit test - and has declined. We're not sure if it's a 'fear of failing' kind of thing or a 'I don't want to give up free time to study' kind of thing....or what. But he (so far) has absolutely no interest in getting his permit. We're in no hurry - the longer he waits to get his permit, the longer we have with only one teenage driver on our policy. No hurry to increase that expense.

I've been a home-bug all weekend - the only time I left the house was to go to dinner last night and a quick trip to the bank and gas station this afternoon. OH, and I did go for walks with Chloe - Friday, J. and I took her for a walk and today, while J. was watching the Super Bowl, she and I headed out for a brisk walk around the neighborhood. Weather was crisp and clear and chilly - still winter in the air but warm enough (for a few days, anyway) to just wear a sweatshirt. She starts each walk whining - as soon as we put her harness on, she starts to 'worry' - like she's going to the groomer or the vet, which she doesn't like - so when we go out the back door and head for the back gate, she realizes 'yippee! this is a walk, NOT a trip in the car' and she takes off walking away from the house as fast as she can. If I'd broken out in a run, she would have, too. I had a hard time keeping up with her. I'll try to walk with her again tomorrow when I get home and/or take a brisk walk around the block at work on a break tomorrow. My joints are getting so stiff and I'm realizing that they aren't as sore if I move more - so that's what I'm trying to do. It's hard - I'm sore from start to finish - but I am in less pain than I have been so I think it's helping a bit.

I also took time this weekend to load some more music on my iPod. Santa brought me a really cool docking station and it's in my office (at work). I LOVE IT! It has a remote control and I am so enjoying playing all my 'favorite' music all day long. This weekend, I put all my 'This is Alice Music' cd's onto my computer and then loaded them onto my iPod. Also downloaded other albums. Now have over 400 songs on it and still many to load! I'm hinting that I'd really like a touch iPod for my birthday - though that will be in the summer when the trip to Mexico is looming and I know I probably won't want to spend the money...but I'm going to try to save for it.

Why are weekends always so short?