Concert

Well, to my friend J. - I tried. Really, I did. I even exceeded my maximum by 60% [I always set a maximum in my mind when bidding on eBay - but then, my OCD sets in and I get pulled into the auction mode and find it hard to 'let go'] - putting the bid price at close to what I paid for my first car (many, many, MANY years ago so it's not like I was getting insane and spending thousands of $$ for tickets)...but it was getting to a number that I would have felt 'buyers remorse' (cognitive dissonance is the marketing term for it - one of the few things I remember from that class) and I didn't want to feel badly about the event. So I stopped updating and stopped bidding. We will do a nice dinner the night before the concert (which we'd already booked as a backup plan in case I couldn't get the tickets) and enjoy catching up over chips and salsa and possibly a margarita or two!

I barely see my kids these days - and I'm torn between being thrilled that I rarely see them (and therefore the angst quotient I feel towards them is significantly reduced) and feeling 'lost' because I haven't seen them. I don't have much to say to them - everything I do say leads to a 'discussion' that I end up wishing we'd never had. But at the same time, they're my kids. I sort of miss seeing them. Maybe it's God's way of preparing me for what is to come when B. leaves for college.

Speaking of which - he is supposed to get scheduled for his 2nd taking of the SAT. I'm pretty much leaving it up to him to 'drive' the process. True, he needs me around for the credit card to pay for the online registration. But I'm HERE most evenings and if I'm not, his dad is - so he needs to get his plans in order and get us to help him take care of it. I'm getting a bit tired of trying to 'drive' all these things that need to be done - and only getting a lot of grief for my efforts. So I told J. this evening 'I'm backing off. You need to let him know that he is expected to take care of this himself - and if he blows it, and misses the deadline, he'll be 'late' in applying to schools and 'late' in getting in and 'late' in getting housing. And if he doesn't get student housing, he's staying home for his first year of college 'cuz we are positively NOT renting an apartment for him.'

This college stuff is making me crazy. He wants to apply to a lot of schools, all across the state. Applying costs money. And he has to DECIDE - if/when he gets accepted, he has to make a decision. And then we have to figure out how/if we can pay for it. All this stuff gives me indigestion. Scares the crap out of me. How in the world are we going to do this? It's not the 'letting him go' part. I'm over that. Maybe God invented the teen years to help mom's let go, 'cuz honestly, I'd help him pack RIGHT THIS MINUTE if he had a place to go to. It's just the $$ part. We should have thought this through 18 years ago when we got pregnant. We DID think it through - but we went ahead anyway - and here we are - right where we knew we'd be. On the cusp of retiring with two kids going into college.

And even worse, we're at that cusp in a failing, scary economy, watching our retirement savings dwindle - there are only so many times you can say to yourself 'we're buying low' - at some point, the decline in the total amount just scares the crap out of you. Thankfully, we both have good jobs and could conceivably work as long as we want - BUT I DON'T WANNA, I DON'T WANNA! And neither does J.

It'll work out. There's a plan. There's a way. We'll manage.

Evening!

A quick post Board meeting update. J. apparently forgot I had a meeting so he called around 6ish to ask what time I'd be home. I said 'hopefully by 8:30'. Long pause. Then he said 'I'm fixing talapia for dinner'. I said 'sounds great, but we just ate'. It hit him 'oh, you have a Board meeting tonight, right?'. 'Uh, yeah, I do - and I have a couple things I need to do to prepare for it so what's up'? One of those typical husband/wife conversations.

The really odd thing is: I came home around noon [he worked at home today]. Did some personal computer stuff until around 1. Then announced I was going to go lie down on the family room couch for a bit. THAT should have been his hint that this was NOT a typical day. First, I don't take two+ hour lunches as a normal part of my day. AND I most definitely do not sleep during lunch. AND if I am sleeping, I also rarely ever sleep on the couch - I only do that if I'm tired and I can't risk getting into a really good sleep (ala taking a nap in my comfy bed). I can doze on the couch and not get into a deep sleep - and it was enough of a nap to get me over the 'why, oh why did I get up at 3:30AM this morning' slump I was struggling to navigate.

I did fall asleep and was awakened around 2 by the dog at my feet jumping (really - jumping!) to try to catch a fly. Crazy dog. Good thing she woke me up 'cuz J. probably wouldn't have (rule #1 in this house: do not wake up the female unit when she is sleeping unless there is danger afoot and she needs to vacate the premises). I went back to work and finished the day.

I confirmed I'm taking off a few days (Friday, Monday and Tuesday) and am so looking forward to five days in a row of sleeping in. There's plenty to do - around the house, some work stuff I will cart home. But I plan to sleep a lot! including plenty of naps.

I may go to Jackson for an afternoon - BUT, I'm trying to win (on eBay) tickets to the Steven Curtis Chapman concert next Friday - and if I win those tickets, I'll be using my 'fun money' to pay for them. It's a fair trade - and evening concert with a dear friend sharing our faith and friendship surrounded by other Christians. And it's right in our backyard practically - Brentwood. Rare appearance in our neck of the woods. So I'm going to try to win them tomorrow. Unless they go too much over where they are now - in which case, we'll have to just have dinner and listen to CD's or something.

Morning!

I am here at 5AMish, alternating between chilly (and grateful there's a 12 pound warm dog snuggling on my lap, getting as close as she possibly can to me - curving herself to fit onto my lap and keep her body next to mine) and freakishly hot (because the aforementioned dog is like a heater). It's 58 degrees outside and I left the back door open, screen door closed and am trying to conserve energy by letting cool morning air in. Since I'm wearing a tank top and pajama bottoms, it's a bit cool at times. But I'll survive.

I have been awake since 3:30, which I will undoubtedly regret later today - it's a Board meeting day and I will be exhausted this evening. But I was wide awake and even though I tried several times to go back to sleep, I gave up and just got up. Lattes at 3:35 in the morning don't taste the same as lattes when everyone else in the neighborhood is waking up.

Time to head upstairs to shower and get dressed. Will seize the opportunity to go into work early and have some 'quiet time'.

I am thrilled to have the Mariner back in the driveway - it spent the weekend at the dealer getting it's alarm system installed and having the inside detailed, scotch guarded, etc. I missed it. Though the PT Cruiser rental car we had was fun to drive - but the van (which is what I drove most of the weekend) wasn't. We have the pink slip and we're getting it detailed this week so we can put it up for sale.

Have a great day - see you on the flip side of what will be a long Tuesday.

Workout

B. joined a gym awhile back. It started with him joining the 'little' gym - the downtown gym that has workout equipment. It was 'enough'. He paid for 1/2 the monthly fee - we paid the other half. Not sure (in hindsight) why we agreed to pay for 1/2 - but we did. Probably 'cuz it's only $10 and that seemed 'reasonable' to give him a place to go to workout.

Soon - very soon - the 'little' gym wasn't good enough. All his friends were going to the 'big' gym
(which is also closer to our house). It's the same chain - but the 'big' gym is recently remodeled, with two swimming pools (indoor and outdoor), racquetball and tennis courts, etc. He pleaded with us to change to the bigger gym - he wanted to go with his friends. Which I KNEW would happen -

He is paying for all but $10 of the 'big' gym (so we're still paying what we would have paid if we'd stayed at the little gym) and they didn't charge us anything to switch to the other location.

I really can't begrudge him the membership - he is making good use of it. He's down 50 pounds from this time last year - and he's starting to look pretty darn good (which feels as weird to type as it does for you to read - not meant in any creepy way - just a mom noticing that her son is getting kind of 'muscly' and since that's what he's going for, I'm glad it's working!).

He was out of school at 1:30 today and when I called him around 2, he was already at the gym. I reminded him (twice) to unload the dishwasher before he left for work.

Of course, he didn't unload the dishwasher. He was 'late' getting back from the gym. And he called to let us know that he was going to the gym AGAIN after work - to do cardio. And we started to protest - loudly - 'cuz school work comes FIRST and he shouldn't even be going to the gym AT ALL until his homework is done. He assured us he doesn't have much. And said 'check my grades' as proof that he was doing fine.

So we did check his grades - expecting to be vindicated. And wouldn't you know, that blasted kid is pulling straight A's - which I had predicted. I said to J. at the start of this year 'mark my words. It would be just like B. to pull straight A's out of his ass' in this, his final year of high school. And that appears to be exactly what he's doing.

And I hope he keeps doing it! A year of A's would raise his GPA considerably - it's just at a B average (which in itself is a miracle - thank goodness for IB classes, which count more in his GPA).

He is one determined kid. He wanted to lose weight and get in better shape. He has. He wanted to eat better - he is. He wants better grades - he's getting them. Now if he'd only embrace unloading the dishwasher with as much fervor as he's done/is doing these other things, we'd have it made.

Hope he keeps it up - as glad as I am to see all those 90+ grades, I realize we're only one month into the school year and a lot can happen in the next 8 months. A lot....

Revelation

B. gets paid every Friday. He cashes his check at the store and our 'new' approach is that he decides how much will go into savings. We I decided this was the best method after ending up in arguments with him when the 'formula' was applied. He keeps ~$50 per week plus he pays for his own lunches (at school). He is FINALLY getting the concept that from that $50, he is expected to 'save' for things he wants. The money that he puts into savings each week is NOT considered part of his 'discretionary' money - it is for college, and (technically) to offset the car expenses which we foot the bill for. Though I haven't taken any of it for gas money yet, and don't plan to.

Yesterday, he announced 'I'm going to start packing my lunch - making myself a sandwich, wrapped in foil, grab a Gatorade from the garage and that will save me $3 per day!'. He said it like it was the most brilliant idea on the planet - and yet, when I suggested it some time ago, to save money, you would have thought I had just proposed pulling off his fingernails one by one, without anesthetic. Isn't it amazing how when it's HIS money, he suddenly decides that being more frugal is a wise idea? I think it's a great idea and agreed to always have bread, lunch meat, Gatorade and chips available. Which isn't hard since we always do - two teen boys in the house requires 'staples' and those things are on my weekly Costco list. Whether he actually ends up motivated enough to pack his lunch is another matter entirely - and I won't be bringing it up. 'Cuz it's HIS money he's spending so I don't care one way or the other!

I love that he has his own money. He went to the mall to buy a birthday gift for a friend - paid for it himself. Had been playing jazz at the Bean Festival before that and was hungry, so grabbed a sandwich - paid for it himself. Gone are the days when he was asking for money constantly. He now has his own. It's great!

AND, he gives me the savings $$ in cash, which I put in our cash drawer. Then I go online (right away, so I won't forget) and transfer the amount he gave me from our checking account into his savings account. It's great - I haven't had to get cash at the bank in weeks!

H. had his first round of reffing yesterday and he will get a check later this week. He's keeping 1/2 and giving us the other half - to finish paying off his debt for the school books and then to pay us back for his job equipment and training. The class was $45 (we'll probably pay that for him) then he needed a special shirt, shoes, stop watch, flags, etc. And $$ for lunch since he was there all day. Once he's caught up with that stuff, and assuming he gets weekend work all season, he'll have his own money, too. At least during soccer season. He's been without cash for so long, he can't remember what it's like. He'll catch up, soon, though...

We had a quiet weekend. Had lists of things to do - mainly outside. But it was hotter than blazes this weekend so we all stayed inside pretty much. Sadly, I've been so busy the past few days (and lazy this weekend) that I didn't water my potted plants and I think I lost a couple. Some will come back. I'll give them extra TLC this week and see how they do. We have so much pruning and weeding, etc. to do - and I still haven't ordered the raised beds. The places we cleared for them are now grass/weed infested so I need to do some work out there before ordering.

I'm hoping to take a long weekend next week - Friday, Monday and Tuesday off, I hope. Just to piddle around the house and try to get stuff done. I hope the weather cooperates. We could use a cooling off period.

Downhill

My last big summer project (called closing the books) is DONE - Board meeting on Tuesday and from there, it's a nice, relatively slow downhill slide into fall and holidays.

It is Saturday morning and I'M NOT WORKING THIS WEEKEND! Yeah, ME! It's a first in months, really - and I'm glad for the freedom of having 'nothing to do'. Or at least having 'nothing that absolutely has to be done right now' for a day or two. There's always plenty to do and my to-do list is sitting on my desk at work and I will make notes here at home to add to it. Still plenty to do - there always is.

H. is refereeing his first soccer matches today. They promised him at least 4 games of the 6-8 age group. He doesn't get paid as much for those lower ages - and it is all about the money, to him. But he's learning that you have to work to get experience. And the more you work, the better you get and then you can 'move up'. He should make at least $40 today - the games are 40 minutes long and he gets $10 per game - it's about $10/hour, roughly. That's actually more than B. makes per hour. But B. gets far more hours than H. will - and B. can work year round. H.'s 'job' will end when soccer ends.

West High in Tracy finally has a new football field and stadium. My Lion's group has the concession contract for football games, so I spent last night (from 4 until 8:30) taking orders, filling sodas, making change, etc. It was a 'scrimmage' - not league play - just fun play. And we had a surprisingly large crowd. We sold out of Gatorade, almost sold out of bottled water and sold tons of hot dogs, nachos, Pepsi fountain products and candy. It went well. I arrived home around 9 and was just exhausted. My feet ached and I had an abrasion on my right elbow from leaning down on the counter to take orders. The windows are so low that the only way you can see the person who's ordering is to lean down...and hope they do the same 'cuz if they don't, they're speaking their order into glass and you can't see or hear them. The design of that building is odd - something about ADA compliance. It is the perfect height for someone in a wheelchair to pull up and order - they will be completely at window height. But the people on the other side of the window will have to bend down to see/hear them. And the other 99.9% of the people placing orders who are standing cannot be seen or heard without bending down. Ridiculous.

Today is the Bean Festival. B. is playing jazz at noon and Megan Slankard is playing at 5. So we'll have lunch and dinner downtown today. B. has the entire weekend off - which is a first since he started his job. He's looking forward to some down time with friends and he needs it. He's been working really hard at keeping up at school. It's good for him to have a weekend to be a teenager.

My car is in the shop getting detailed and having an alarm system installed. We will pick it up this morning. I drove the van to the football game and it felt strange. We should have the pink slip shortly - and then we'll get it detailed and put ads in the paper and signs in the window and pray she sells soon. Four cars is expensive to insure and it looks like a used car lot has sprung up at our end of the street!

Oh, one more 'something about nothing' - we FINALLY have GREAT Indian food here in Tracy. A little restuarant called Dhaba opened up and it's FANTASTIC. J. and I have gone for lunch on a few Fridays, now, and it's terrific. Reasonably priced, terrific food. We love it. We just wish we could get the kids to at least try it. The Butter Chicken is my absolute favorite and I know the boys would love it - but the refuse to even consider trying it.

Geek Squad

My computer has been acting up lately. It freezes periodically, usually in the middle of a game. I've had to just shut 'er down and restart, which (as anyone will tell you) is a horrible thing to do. So far, my repeated hard reboots have not created any issues - but I've been fearing starting her up again (I don't know why she's a she to me, but she is), being certain the blue screen of death cannot be far behind.

We realized that the computer memory is not all that 'large' - and considering my computer is primarily for 'gaming' (I play a lot of online and downloaded games), it seemed that more memory was a good idea.

So this afternoon, after I returned from working for a bit, we headed to Best Buy, seeking the advice and counsel of the geek squad. We procured the memory - 2GBs - for only $57.10 plus tax. The guy assured J. he could easily install it himself, and he has - and it's working so much better now! Yipee!!

We were reminiscing on the way to and from - about the early days of our marriage, when money was really tight. And we scraped and saved to buy our first computer - and then we had to keep buying more memory. In those days, not quite 20 years ago, the memory we just purchased for $57 and some change would have cost over $2,000. And I reminded J. that in those days, he'd buy more memory and assure me 'this will be enough for forever' - and sure enough, 3-6 months later, the computer would be crawling along and we'd have to buy more. It was a constant source of irritation. We were just so incredibly money tight in those days - two babies in daycare, huge mortgage (our mortgage back then was $250 more per month than we pay now - only we were making 1/2 what we're making now AND we had daycare for two infants/toddlers back then to boot!) etc.

B. loved the Richard Scary Busy Town games - and he played them everyday. I was grateful for something that kept him occupied and busy - and out of my hair while I cared for his brother and/or prepared dinner, etc. So B.'s been a 'gamer' since he was old enough to sit upright in a computer chair - he loved those games. Takes after his mom. Though these days, I'm more into a variety of 'farming/ranching' games than building things.

When B. gets ready to go to college (in less than a year!), we'll give him this laptop and I'll order a really souped up, high end gaming computer! Until then, though, the newly installed memory has restored my computer to it's previously fast response, good machine-ness!

Thanks to my favorite Geek guy - J.!