Pensive

J. is traveling - he's in Colorado for a big meeting, which includes a presentation he's making. He left this morning and will be home late Tuesday evening. He emailed me to let me know his flight out of Oakland was delayed - no surprise since he'd watched the forecast and knew there were blizzards in Denver.

I am always 'on edge' when he's not home - waiting for something to go wrong. Appliances break, leaks happen - it's always something and it's historically been when he's gone. So I wait. I watch the water stain on the ceiling of the dining room like a hawk - searching for any sign that the repair we had done on Friday didn't fix it. Every appliance is scrutinized - every sound analyzed to see if anything sounds 'abnormal'.

The kids are seemingly on their best behavior - J. has obviously reminded them to help me, and they are taking it to heart. They respond to requests immediately with no guff. They do, for the most part, what they are asked to do and I am grateful. I have a really incredibly hectic week ahead - auditors, negotiations, an overnight conference on Weds. & Thurs. - it will be jam packed and I feel tired just thinking about it. The fridge is stocked with quick things to fix for dinner and plenty of snacks. I have made after school chore lists for the minimum day the boys have tomorrow.

I made dinner and baked two loaves of pumpkin bread. I've done a couple loads of laundry, washed two loads of dishes, tidied up the kitchen and played with the dogs. Tried to nap while the kids were out - H. went to a friends house and B. played golf - but wasn't really tired enough to sleep, I guess. I need to make coffee and set the timer on the pot to be really early, so it will be waiting for me when I get up in the morning.

I am heading upstairs shortly to remind the boys to set their alarms. I plan to be at work before the sun comes up, to get a jump start on tasks before the auditors arrive. It's going to be a long week. But I know it will be OK. It will all get done - eventually.

Miss you, J. Miss you being on your computer just behind me, tapping away and laughing at whatever you're reading or watching. Miss your help with the kids and the dogs and the house. Hurry home. Stay warm.

Wedding

The Bug is married!!! On October 20, 2007, at 4PM, the big event took place. She was absolutely beautiful - and the ceremony and reception were perfection. I was honored to be invited behind the scenes to see her before the ceremony - and of course, tissues were required. She was just stunning and the dress was so incredibly beautiful. So much better than the pictures - so many details the pictures didn't show. It was beautiful.

And we almost missed the entire event. See, for some reason, I got '5PM' in my head. So I awoke from a nap at 2:30, headed downstairs to get the curlers heating up. Decided I'd better get out the invitation to confirm the address so we could Map Quest it - and was shocked to realize the ceremony was at FOUR PM. So I hurriedly put on my outfit, got the curlers in my hair, tossed hairspray, barrettes, makeup, etc. in a bag and we hurried out the door around 3. Still got there by 3:40 and got to see her in her gown, then headed outside to the ceremony. It was a beautiful, crystal clear October day - and the ceremony was lovely. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. And as she walked back down the aisle, my former boss handed me his 'EASY' button (a gift from me a long time ago) and I pushed it just as she walked by - a 'that was easy' was barely audible but SHE got the joke and cracked up! It was terrific. We (me and former boss B.) took her the button at the head table later during the reception and 'gifted' it to her. So she'll have it forever.

The reception was great - terrific food, great friends and fun, and delicious, DELICIOUS cake. J. said it was the BEST carrot cake he'd ever had - it was just 'full' of nuts, raisins, carrots, etc. - a really rich, satisfying cake. I had poppy seed - TWO slices. It was delicious.

We headed home around 9ish. H. had been home alone for dinner - he ordered pizza (big surprise). B. was in Santa Cruz at a band review and got home shortly after we did.

It was great to see my old college friends. We had a lot of fun. And as I was sitting there at the reception, watching my former boss on the dance floor 'living it up', with friends and J. around me, I thought 'this is what life is supposed to be like - family, friends, happy, fun times. Joy and love and happiness all around. THIS is what life is supposed to be like'. And the feeling of blessings and love and joy were everywhere and it felt great to BE there and be AWARE of those feelings. Deep in my soul. It was great.

Bug and her hubby are heading for Disneyland for a week. She will return to work on Halloween and I can't wait to hear all about the trip. And see all the pictures. It was a fantastic day and I'm so very happy for them both. They have been together for over 6 years and have stayed together through 4 years apart - while he attended the Citadel and she attended St. Mary's. They have weathered more than most couples and are still just madly in love - it showed. Whenever the crowd wanted them to kiss, the requirement was the table had to sing a song with the word 'love' in it somewhere. It was fun! And she and her hubby obliged - not with just little 'pecks' but REAL kisses. The kind where you think they need to get a room - or come up for air at some point. They are so in love. It is so sweet to see them together.

To Mr. and Mrs. L. - congratulations, much happiness and may you never forget the joy of that special day. It will see you through many hard times to come - just hold onto those feelings of love, joy and happiness. The best is yet to be - and your life is going to be full of blessings, I am sure of that.

And thank you both for honoring us by including us in your special day. I am glad I was there for the beginning of a lifetime together and I can't wait to share your journey with you through the years. Babies, soon, but no hurry, 'kay?

Dyson

Recent experiences have confirmed this fact: ants - gillions and gillions of ants - if sucked up into a Dyson turbo suction canister, do, in fact, die.
Environmentally friendly? Yes. Fast and easy? No, in some ways, though spraying droves of ants with insecticide and then cleaning up the dead bodies is probably an even more time consuming task then vacuuming every surface where ants are marching.

I am ready to tent the house. Seriously. I am convinced they are nesting in every nook and cranny of our house that's not visible due to drywall. They must be. They are coming in through spaces between walls, cabinets, baseboard - yet there's no sign of them outside. NONE. Nada. Zip.

It is making us crazy. Yesterday, there were THOUSANDS of them making their way through the study, all around the room, across the floor, everywhere. Killed them, with the vacuum. Tonight, I arrived home to H. informing me 'hey, there's a gillion ants all over your computer'. Yep. ON THIS COMPUTER. And the desk, the wall, the floor, the counter top - everywhere. Again, point of entry hard to determine but it appears to be from UNDER the house, under this room specifically, up through a crack in the baseboard and into the dwelling where we are living.

It is freaking me out. I feel buggy. I feel them all over me, though they're not.

Oh, and we also have a leaky shower which has soaked through to the dining room ceiling resulting in water stains above our dining room table. Where we are anticipating a Thanksgiving dinner taking place in 5 weeks. With a ceiling that will likely be torn out. The only 'good' thing about this is: if they end up having to destroy the shower to find the leak, then we're getting one of those 'multi spout', thermostat controlled showers on the Kohler commercial. Which I will basically live in. Oh to dream.

Memory Lane

Today is the Cal vs. Oregon State game in Berkeley and J.'s cousins (who attended Oregon State) and family came from Oregon and So. California to attend the game. This morning, we had a 'mini-reunion' at - of all places - Hometown Buffet in San Leandro - kind of a mid-way point for other cousins coming from Oakland and Sonoma to meet for brunch. It was a great morning full of kids and fun and getting caught up on what we've all been doing since we saw each other last.

After brunch, we took J's brother home to Hayward and then headed up the hill to see where we used to live. WOW, it's changed a lot. Not our 'house' - the condo building looks EXACTLY the same. But the neighborhood is very different. Many more homes, condos, etc. built. The elementary school the kids would have attended if we had ever put them in public school while we lived there (which we never did and probably never would have) has closed and a new K-6 school has been built high in the Hayward Hills. The homes are gorgeous, with beautiful views. But they are seemingly inches apart and while the views are great, there is NOTHING up there. No grocery. No stores of any kind. It's 20 minutes down the hill to any kind of 'commerce'. That's one of the things we never liked about living there - it was a ways 'into town' to shop. And the freeway was very far away.

It was fun to cruise the neighborhood, feeling disoriented because it's changed so much. At one point I said to J. 'we're near Tine's house'. And he said 'yep, it's up that ways a bit'. And we both knew we were talking about Christine, B's former babysitter - only B. always called her 'Tine' (pronounced 'Teen') and that's what we still refer to her as. There were a lot of memories in those hills, but I realized how happy we are to be where we are. Even with the commute for J., buying this house and living in this town is still the best thing we've ever done. Those 'hillside' homes aren't really neighborhood homes - it's pretty hard to ride a bike or skate or play when it involves steep streets. The neighborhood seemed 'remote' and not really kid-friendly. I saw two young kids playing on the retaining wall in their backyard - only that wall had at least a 6 foot drop onto a steep 'lot', which is part of the backyard but unusable since it's just a hillside, really, with a wall to hold the dirt the house is built on. I shuddered about those kids playing up that high - seemed dangerous to me.

Our kids are so incredibly happy here. They're having the childhood we did - jammed with zillions of friends, constant activities and always something to do. Tracy is a great town to raise kids! and we love our home. We wouldn't have anything even remotely close to this had we stayed in Hayward. The trip of memories just reconfirmed that for me.
J. asked if I wanted to look at the models. I said 'no, let's just get home'. I had no desire to look since I have no desire to buy. I don't want to live anywhere but here, ever, really. I've thought about us selling this house in a few years and down sizing - lowering our expenses and also providing cash to help with looming college expenses. But truthfully, I don't want to leave here. I will never feel the same about any other house - this is the house of my dreams and I can't imagine living anywhere else. I know someday, we'll need to move. It's a big house and will reach a point where it's just impractically large for two retired old people. But for now, it's the home I have the happiest memories of my entire LIFE and I never want to leave it. And I know J. and the kids feel exactly the same way.

Home is home.

Text

So we converted to an unlimited text plan to save us the headache of docking the boys' allowances repeatedly for going over their text limits. I have concerns about their frequency....they are texting too much. B. fell asleep with his phone in his hand the other night and it was still there when J. woke him up the next morning. That's not good. We could eliminate texting all together? perhaps? Not sure, and would probably require a plan change and the penalties for changing before our 'term' is up...but it's worth considering. It is 'the times' - kids write each other. And they use that 'ring' that adults can't hear. H. tested it on me the other night - and I said I could hear it, but I couldn't. I kept saying I could over and over until he realized what I was doing and turned it off - then when he asked 'can you hear it now?' and I said 'yes', he said 'well, no you didn't 'cuz it's OFF'. Busted. So they can 'hear' someone texting them without an adult knowing. And I WILL be monitoring their use of their phone and from whom during school hours. ANOTHER motherly duty added to the list, one which my own mother never would have imagined ever doing in the 60's and 70's when her kids were growing up. Times they are a changin', as they say. And I'm not sure I 'like' all the changes, but I'm adaptable - and -

On the other hand, they taught me how to use my phone to send texts and it's revolutionizing my relationship with my kids. I can REACH THEM now - and THEY WRITE ME BACK. And for that, it's worth keeping. Though they are texting at school, which they shouldn't...but they do. I wrote to both of them this morning - a quick 'hey, hope your day's going OK and I love you' and they both wrote back right away. Which bothers me on many levels - and then on others, I like it. Liked that it got a response and a relatively cheery one. Liked that I know they HEAR ME tell them I love them and they know I'm thinking of them during a(nother) hectic day. I wrote them both back and said 'be careful - don't get in trbl' (I'm trying to use vowel-less texting as they do) and they both wrote back 'we won't'. And they won't, most likely, because they are INCREDIBLY fast at it. I'm a dinosaur and if I were to be in a position of 'getting in trouble' for using a cell phone when I shouldn't be, I'd be in deep doo-doo 'cuz I was texting them in a class this morning. Silently. And reading their responses. Silently. LOVED IT, though I shouldn't admit that.

Of course, we do have strict rules regarding B. using his phone and driving. He doesn't. He shuts his phone off so he won't even be TEMPTED to pick it up and take a call or read a text. I am triple checking on that practice daily, making him crazy in the process. But I am vigilant about that.

The class was OK. Long. Too much information packed into a quick day and then it leads to the inevitable list of things I'm worried about related to compliance, audits, etc. So there's more on my to-do list, as there usually is after a class.

C U ltr.

(and I'm amused that spellcheck doesn't accept the word 'texting'. It needs an update, apparently).

Lazy

It's a quiet Saturday evening and I am ALONE in the house - a rare and wondrous thing! H. and J. are in Hayward visiting J.'s brothers and family. We hosted pizza dinner last night as J.'s younger brother and his wife and kids made their way from Tulare to a 49'rs game. H. and J. are having dinner in Hayward and will be home in a few hours. B. had planned to go since visiting cousins is loads of fun, but he opted instead to go to a birthday party, primarily because his new 'friend' (who happens to be a girl) will be there. The two of them had a date last night and from all indications, it was a smashing success. So the chance to spend more time with her was the deciding factor in him opting out of the Hayward visit.

I am fixing a Trader Joe's dinner - mushroom risotto and birds nest tempura. What I want is loads of sushi - but that involves getting across town and since I have no makeup on what so ever, and have not left the house today (though I am showered and cleaned and dressed, albeit in appropriate Saturday attire of jeans and a sweatshirt - and am so excited that the weather is cool enough for me to need a sweatshirt today) but I am not presentable. That's the bad thing about working in the town you live in - you get 'seen' a lot and people know you. It's an odd feeling to think (whether they are or not) that people are trying to figure out where they know you from. Yes, I want to say, you may have seen me on the local cable access channel. No, that's not being famous, but it feels like it sometimes. I know how the 'stars' feel kind of - how you feel like you don't dare leave your house without being completely together, 'cuz the one time you run to the gas station for a quart of milk with no makeup and your hair not 'fixed', in grubby clothes, you will run into someone who will never forget they saw you looking like that. And, they will most likely share all that information with their friends. So I'd rather eat sushi but will eat what's here instead. Save $$, time and it will be good. [Just finished and it was yummy. Thankfully, we had paper plates 'cuz there's not a single clean plate in the kitchen cupboard. Dishwasher now running]. Started a load of laundry, too - the bathroom rug was in need of a washing so in it went.

Our shipment of Medifast arrived today, thank goodness, 'cuz we were getting kind of tired of eating pudding non-stop. Oh sure, it sounds great - pudding. PUDDING! All day, breakfast, lunch and dinner - but in reality, you get pretty darn tired of pudding. Especially J. who is far more disciplined about sticking to the program. He enjoyed a cup of beef stew for lunch and savored every bite - warm, filling, satisfying and NOT pudding.

On Wednesday, I attended a surprise wedding shower for N. at the college. It was great fun - visited with friends, saw the new 'remodeled' office I used to inhabit, including (now, after I've left) an office for my former position. It was great to see everyone and it was a fun afternoon! I felt homesick the minute I left, driving down the new drive past the vineyard and the new (and I think, ugly) houses. It's still 'home' to me.

Dani is whining incessantly. Since she hurt her back, she can't get up into her chair on her own. So we lift her up, now, and help her get all snugly and hope she'll quiet down. We have some stray cats hanging out in our backyard and it's making the dogs CRAZY. They are constantly on the alert and when the door is opened, they CHARGE outside, ready to do battle. Of course, the cats just head for the fence and hop over top effortlessly, leaving us with two hyped up dogs going crazy over the smells in their yard. It's nuts. And it goes on all day. Yesterday, when family was here, we put both dogs in their travel kennel out in the garage. They whined for a bit and then realized we weren't going to let them out so they quieted down. That's going to be an option, though it's pretty darn cold in there during the winter and hot in the summer, so it's not a permanent living space. Though it's tempting. She just jumped down from the chair for a cat check and is now whining AGAIN to get back up.

Tomorrow is church and errands. J. is playing at both services and H. is on 'slide' duty at the 11AM. So it will be 11AM for me, since I'm transporting H. there for his AV duties.

Time to go empty the dishwasher of the water that pools in the tops (bottoms) of the glasses. Then I think I'll read a good book - currently working on David Baldacci's "The Collectors".

Friday

was TERRIFIC! My friend J. was held up at a meeting, so I moved our meeting place to a restaurant closer to the college, in downtown Livermore. I was waiting for her in the outer wait area. We were talking for a few minutes, waiting for our table. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw my former boss in his car. The door looked out on the one driveway entrance into the parking lot - and I thought I saw him. But when J. asked me about my reaction - a sort of startle response - I said 'oh, I just thought I saw someone I knew'. Didn't want to seem all obsessed, or acknowledge that every silver Honda Accord I see in Livermore might be him. I do miss him and wish I saw him more. We haven't talked in ages and I miss laughing with him everyday.

So, we chatted more and they took us to our table - a small table near the fireplace for two. When we sat down, J. seemed sort of uneasy. So she finally said 'um, do you think we could pull up a chair here for a 3rd person?' And I said 'it's B., isn't it? He's here, isn't he, 'cuz HE'S who I thought I saw as we were waiting'. So we asked the waiter for a bigger table and there he was!!! It was so great. I was so glad to see him. He joined us for chips and salsa. I offered dinner and drinks but he was on his way to a football game to hear is son play in the band, so he had to go. It was a quick visit, but so incredibly fun and such a cool surprise. Thanks, J. for arranging it and for suggesting to him that he stop by - it was great to see him!

Then, J. and I visited for HOURS. I didn't get home until after 10. We had a great time eating, talking, pondering the mysteries of various college things and life. We're looking forward to N.'s wedding in 3 weeks and we will all have a great time there, too, including B. and his wife and other campus friends. It will be fun.

The weekend was uneventful. [My] J. did some yard work. He got caught up on his emails since he was off all last week. We went to Costco, our grocery store of choice. I spent 3 hours catching up on my shred bin. I shred EVERYTHING and it builds up - but the bin is now officially EMPTY. And we checked out the new Rite Aid which opened across the street last week. Great ice cream. Not so great service. Won't be popping in there anytime soon to pick up something 'quickly' 'cuz they aren't very quick. It is the new 'hangout' for all kids in the neighborhood - groups of them going there for ice cream on a regular basis. Including our kids, though they have no money. We got the cell phone bill and they owe us major bucks for going over their 'text message' allocation. J. fixed it by stopping by the cell phone store while B. and I were at the pet store and upped the plan to unlimited text. Only cost us $10 more per month for all 3 phones on the plan - so that was $10 well spent. The boys were relieved. H. will not get an allowance for 6 weeks to pay us back what he owes for the phone and an advance on his allowance that happened before we knew about the phone charges. B. is glad to only have to forfeit two weeks to pay us back. Kids. We're glad to be connected to them, but also glad for the phone company being flexible and having plans we can afford to avoid the issue.

OK - it's time to head upstairs to shower and get dressed and out the door for a busy week. Talk to you soon! Have a great Monday and a terrific week, y'all.