I'm obsessively monitoring the Truckee, CA weather forecast and am super thrilled that the forecast for Saturday, February 10th changed from mostly cloudy to mostly sunny - and 0% precipitation! Fingers crossed that holds for a lovely, fairly early drive up to Reno next weekend. I am sooo ready for some happy place time. I can't describe how ready - and that's even before our home contains 4 more people a good portion of the time.
We think the move is progressing and hope to feel more confident of that shortly when the kids and a friend and a truck are supposed to arrive. J. rented a storage unit today (paid for by kids with us pitching in a bit depending on what stuff we move in to the unit). They have some items ready to go into storage from the apartment - and there's the hutch we've been storing for awhile in the garage. We're also going to shuffle around some beds - take H.'s King bed to storage and use the queen bed they have at their apartment. The bedrooms they are using are pretty roomy (when compared to the new homes we've looked at here in California and in Nevada) but a King size bed in the room is a pretty big waste of space. We're hoping to get the bigger stuff to storage this evening and then smaller items and boxes in the next couple days. Fingers crossed.
I reminded J. that I leave for Sacramento tomorrow (from work) and return Friday evening - so they will be on their own. I am encouraged that H. is arranging friends to help 'cuz there's no way J. can move furniture - and I don't want him to injure himself or cause a health crisis trying to do things he shouldn't. He's a hard working guy but....he's not someone who can help lift a china hutch into a truck, out of a truck and into a storage unit.
The sale of the Mariner is officially done and we are anticipating a refund of our insurance for the car soon. R. already got the vehicle certified for Lyft and she drove yesterday - so she's back in business. Her bank (us) loaned her some money for gas 'cuz you can't drive for Lyft if you can't fill your gas tank - and they are tapped out until H. is paid on Friday. And their rent is due tomorrow. It's a reasonable amount and we've made it even easier by agreeing for half on the first and half on the 15th of each month - but it is due and is to be paid. Without reminding. Fingers crossed. We don't 'need' the money (yet) but we will undoubtedly see an increase in utilities and water for sure. (Their water heater pilot light was out for two days so they showered here and we both realized that they were taking really long showers.)
J. talked to B. today and explained the circumstances upon which we invited them to live here and had no problem with us packing up stuff from his room. J. is sending pics of shoes, books, etc. and B. will reply with a 'keep or go' so that will help. We'll pack up things he wants to keep and move those to storage, too - hopefully towards the front of the unit so (not likely but who knows) if B. decides to leave the Army, his stuff will be easily available for him to access.
We'll pitch in for the storage unit in an amount proportional to the space we use vs. the space they use. We are nothing if not reasonable.
I lunched with a coworker today and when I mentioned the kids were moving in, he was stunned. He said 'you've always said 'never' about that'. And I said 'well, never is the preference - but I'm not going to let my son and his 'family' be homeless when we have a rather large home and 3 empty bedrooms'. He concurred.
It's been a very long and very busy week (already) and next week will be more of the same. My boss' dad is doing better (very great news) so my boss has been in the office more this week which has been great. Today, we had one of those long talks we have when he stops by unexpectedly and we transact a gazillion things that have been looming in the cosmos and/or pending. Got a lot of direction on things that needed to be confirmed (on both sides) and it was good to have him back.
I've got a couple fun dinners with friends coming up and a Saturday lunch with friends also approaching. And our cruise and Disney trip aren't too far away. I reminded someone at work 'and I'm out from 3/15 until 4/2' - and they sort of did a 'huge eye disbelief already' look. We were talking about a meeting we need to schedule and she said "March". And I said 'yes, but first two weeks of March'. Gulp.
That's the news from here for now. More soon. This time next week, we'll have 'kids' doing homework, coming and going to/from various activities. In some ways, it will be fun -
Hope that feeling stays.
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Sunday, January 28, 2018
Massively Donating
J. is making a trip to the library with a car full of books for donation. We're working on cleaning out the playroom and I'm realizing that I offered up our vacant bedrooms not realizing just how much stuff is in them. It feels impossible to empty these rooms but we're trying.
R. & H. stopped by last night (and are now overdue for today's visit) and we talked through the process - realizing that on all sides, there's no way we're getting every little thing cleaned out in time for them to be here permanently starting this coming Friday night. We'll get them in and continue working evenings and weekends to get things more settled.
We have worked super hard today and have both been lifting and hauling, making so many trips up and down the stairs. My legs feel like Jello - in a good way. In addition to the play room, I worked on their bathroom - cleaned out every drawer (empty) and wiped things down. Same with the medicine chest. I'm heading up again to give the under sink cabinets a sort and will bring down bags more to trash. It feels super good to get things cleaned out and I keep reminding us both 'better we're doing all this work now 'cuz imagine doing it in 3-5 years when we're even older'.
This house has 17+ years of joy in it - along with all the 'stuff' that comes with it.
We've set up donation space in the garage and will just keep sorting and organizing. I'm super glad J. went to the library today, though, because books take up a lot of space and don't do too well being stored in the cold garage.
I'm secretly super glad I'm in Sacramento Thursday and Friday this week - but I do feel bad leaving J. to deal with it all. We know R. & H. have been selling some furniture and have been packing so we're quasi hopeful it won't be too much left. We are insisting (for what it's worth 'cuz with their laissez-faire approach to life, insisting doesn't make much difference) they plan to make trips here every night this week with 'stuff' to unload. Better to work hard nightly than leave too much to Friday.
H. got called into work this past Friday - which he accepted 'cuz he's new and the money is helpful. But this coming Friday, I'm hoping he doesn't get called in so they can start early and finish before nightfall.
I'm going to set up Facebook Marketplace. I have a friend who posts things for sale all the time on there and I'm hoping if I post it to friends or even make it 'public', things will sell quickly. We've got extra book cases and the glass door cases my beanie collection used to be in - and we are ready to let those things go. Maybe T. & C. can use them in their rooms here...so we'll see.
But the microwave cart from old first apartment (yes, really) that held the TV in our bedroom for ages is going to the garage and hopefully sold on Facebook. Though I suppose it could be painted (I'm tempted to try some chalk paint projects) and used for a storage table of some kind.
By the end of this week, I will be parking in the driveway 'cuz the garage will be full. The storage rental place doesn't have anything available until late next week so we'll (sadly) have to unload, reload and unload again at some point. The kids have friends lined up - so they say - so here's hoping. We need some strong people and trucks. Lots of both.
I'm even more excited with my planned trip to Reno over the 10th-12th. So far, the advance forecast shows mostly sun and while there's snow on the hills and trees enroute, it will hopefully be relatively mild on the roads. J. procured snow cables for the Rav so I'll have them - but if they need to be put on and taken off, I'll be paying whatever the going price for that is. I'm so excited - haven't been to Atlantis since late November and picked a great weekend to go - free play, Macy's gift card, extra comps and a slot tournament!! I will have a super fun couple of days.
After that trip, it's only 4 weeks until we leave for our Bahamas/Virgin Island cruise and Disneyworld. More on that trip shortly.
R. & H. stopped by last night (and are now overdue for today's visit) and we talked through the process - realizing that on all sides, there's no way we're getting every little thing cleaned out in time for them to be here permanently starting this coming Friday night. We'll get them in and continue working evenings and weekends to get things more settled.
We have worked super hard today and have both been lifting and hauling, making so many trips up and down the stairs. My legs feel like Jello - in a good way. In addition to the play room, I worked on their bathroom - cleaned out every drawer (empty) and wiped things down. Same with the medicine chest. I'm heading up again to give the under sink cabinets a sort and will bring down bags more to trash. It feels super good to get things cleaned out and I keep reminding us both 'better we're doing all this work now 'cuz imagine doing it in 3-5 years when we're even older'.
This house has 17+ years of joy in it - along with all the 'stuff' that comes with it.
We've set up donation space in the garage and will just keep sorting and organizing. I'm super glad J. went to the library today, though, because books take up a lot of space and don't do too well being stored in the cold garage.
I'm secretly super glad I'm in Sacramento Thursday and Friday this week - but I do feel bad leaving J. to deal with it all. We know R. & H. have been selling some furniture and have been packing so we're quasi hopeful it won't be too much left. We are insisting (for what it's worth 'cuz with their laissez-faire approach to life, insisting doesn't make much difference) they plan to make trips here every night this week with 'stuff' to unload. Better to work hard nightly than leave too much to Friday.
H. got called into work this past Friday - which he accepted 'cuz he's new and the money is helpful. But this coming Friday, I'm hoping he doesn't get called in so they can start early and finish before nightfall.
I'm going to set up Facebook Marketplace. I have a friend who posts things for sale all the time on there and I'm hoping if I post it to friends or even make it 'public', things will sell quickly. We've got extra book cases and the glass door cases my beanie collection used to be in - and we are ready to let those things go. Maybe T. & C. can use them in their rooms here...so we'll see.
But the microwave cart from old first apartment (yes, really) that held the TV in our bedroom for ages is going to the garage and hopefully sold on Facebook. Though I suppose it could be painted (I'm tempted to try some chalk paint projects) and used for a storage table of some kind.
By the end of this week, I will be parking in the driveway 'cuz the garage will be full. The storage rental place doesn't have anything available until late next week so we'll (sadly) have to unload, reload and unload again at some point. The kids have friends lined up - so they say - so here's hoping. We need some strong people and trucks. Lots of both.
I'm even more excited with my planned trip to Reno over the 10th-12th. So far, the advance forecast shows mostly sun and while there's snow on the hills and trees enroute, it will hopefully be relatively mild on the roads. J. procured snow cables for the Rav so I'll have them - but if they need to be put on and taken off, I'll be paying whatever the going price for that is. I'm so excited - haven't been to Atlantis since late November and picked a great weekend to go - free play, Macy's gift card, extra comps and a slot tournament!! I will have a super fun couple of days.
After that trip, it's only 4 weeks until we leave for our Bahamas/Virgin Island cruise and Disneyworld. More on that trip shortly.
Saturday, January 27, 2018
Last Weekend of Just We Two
Arrived home from the week that felt never ending shortly after 4 yesterday afternoon. Looking forward to a nice, quiet evening with my best beloved - dinner of chicken, rice and green beans and maybe opening a bottle of wine from our order.
Instead, I was greeted with 'kids are due here anytime'. Really? Hmm....that was a complete surprise. We'd never discussed them coming over - but oh well. Learning to roll with it is my specialty so I adjusted.
We decided to treat for In & Out 'cuz we truly had nothing available to feed six people -
Two and half hours later (close to 7), they arrived. I will never understand their lack of any concept of time. The only 'save' at this point is: in one week's time, they will be HERE all the time so that should decrease the waiting around for them time.
It did decide one thing for me, though - we are going to 'eat/shop' separately in terms of meals. They will have their refrigerator and we will have ours (pretty much). They shop and plan for them and we shop and plan for us. We don't have to wonder how many will be here and when we'll be eating 'cuz we're just going to keep scheduling and cooking for 'just the two of us'. If/when all six of us (or four of us when the kids are with their dad), we can always decide to cook and eat together and/or eat out now and then. But nightly? Not happening. The kids have a lot of activities and their schedule is totally unknown to us - and that's not including the chaos of their shared custody which is the weirdest, most convoluted 'arrangement' two divorced people could ever come up with. But it is what it is. And none of it is 'our' problem.
They are (supposedly) arriving back here late this afternoon to drop off some boxes of stuff and to work through some paperwork stuff related to the Mariner. R. announced to J. last week 'by the way, I don't have car insurance at the moment'. WTF? Her ex had removed her from their policy - so she had to get it reinstated on her current car (the CRV that's barely running) so she could transfer the coverage over to the Mariner when she takes possession. J. had to move all the DMV appointments he'd set up while she did that - and today, we are hopefully going to see proof of insurance and policy limits. If she's not maintaining enough coverage to pay off the car to the lien holder (us) in the event of an accident, then we're not selling it to her. Period.
On a happier note, my paycheck is going to be $260 higher each month thanks to Mr. Trump. (I refuse to call him President Trump based on his lack of any character, morals or leadership skills that warrant that designation). I'm calling it Trump Funny Money and J. (bless his heart) agreed that I can have some of it for fun money - at least for a few months. After that, it will either go back to the IRS ('cuz it's not like we're not going to owe for the 2018 tax year - we owe every year, without fail) or add it to our monthly savings amount and move it to our brokerage account monthly.
I'm hoping I can use it in Reno in a couple weeks and hit a big one. Wouldn't make me like him at all (nothing ever will) but...it would be cool.
Chloe is snoring loudly. J. is upstairs working on packing up and tidying B.'s room to get ready for T. to move in. I'm heading upstairs shortly myself to start culling out the bathroom cupboards and work on emptying the playroom as much as I can.
Big events with lots of adjustments on the horizon. I sure hope I'm up for this. I have no choice but to be...but....well....we'll see how it goes.
It's beautiful here today - blue skies, crystal clear - cold. But pretty. Hoping to also spend some time outside tidying up - wet weather keeps us from tidying weekly so when there's blue skies, we have to make the most of the time available.
Have a great weekend!
Instead, I was greeted with 'kids are due here anytime'. Really? Hmm....that was a complete surprise. We'd never discussed them coming over - but oh well. Learning to roll with it is my specialty so I adjusted.
We decided to treat for In & Out 'cuz we truly had nothing available to feed six people -
Two and half hours later (close to 7), they arrived. I will never understand their lack of any concept of time. The only 'save' at this point is: in one week's time, they will be HERE all the time so that should decrease the waiting around for them time.
It did decide one thing for me, though - we are going to 'eat/shop' separately in terms of meals. They will have their refrigerator and we will have ours (pretty much). They shop and plan for them and we shop and plan for us. We don't have to wonder how many will be here and when we'll be eating 'cuz we're just going to keep scheduling and cooking for 'just the two of us'. If/when all six of us (or four of us when the kids are with their dad), we can always decide to cook and eat together and/or eat out now and then. But nightly? Not happening. The kids have a lot of activities and their schedule is totally unknown to us - and that's not including the chaos of their shared custody which is the weirdest, most convoluted 'arrangement' two divorced people could ever come up with. But it is what it is. And none of it is 'our' problem.
They are (supposedly) arriving back here late this afternoon to drop off some boxes of stuff and to work through some paperwork stuff related to the Mariner. R. announced to J. last week 'by the way, I don't have car insurance at the moment'. WTF? Her ex had removed her from their policy - so she had to get it reinstated on her current car (the CRV that's barely running) so she could transfer the coverage over to the Mariner when she takes possession. J. had to move all the DMV appointments he'd set up while she did that - and today, we are hopefully going to see proof of insurance and policy limits. If she's not maintaining enough coverage to pay off the car to the lien holder (us) in the event of an accident, then we're not selling it to her. Period.
On a happier note, my paycheck is going to be $260 higher each month thanks to Mr. Trump. (I refuse to call him President Trump based on his lack of any character, morals or leadership skills that warrant that designation). I'm calling it Trump Funny Money and J. (bless his heart) agreed that I can have some of it for fun money - at least for a few months. After that, it will either go back to the IRS ('cuz it's not like we're not going to owe for the 2018 tax year - we owe every year, without fail) or add it to our monthly savings amount and move it to our brokerage account monthly.
I'm hoping I can use it in Reno in a couple weeks and hit a big one. Wouldn't make me like him at all (nothing ever will) but...it would be cool.
Chloe is snoring loudly. J. is upstairs working on packing up and tidying B.'s room to get ready for T. to move in. I'm heading upstairs shortly myself to start culling out the bathroom cupboards and work on emptying the playroom as much as I can.
Big events with lots of adjustments on the horizon. I sure hope I'm up for this. I have no choice but to be...but....well....we'll see how it goes.
It's beautiful here today - blue skies, crystal clear - cold. But pretty. Hoping to also spend some time outside tidying up - wet weather keeps us from tidying weekly so when there's blue skies, we have to make the most of the time available.
Have a great weekend!
Monday, January 22, 2018
First Sick Day of 2018
I truly hardly ever call in sick. Most things I can push through - but stomach stuff isn't one of them. I spent a good part of the night in the bathroom and when I woke up this morning, I just couldn't do it. I trekked downstairs to enter my absence, email those who need to know I'm absent, feed the dog, take the dog out (twice) and then went back to bed. Came downstairs at 10AM and not feeling great. Low key day close to a bathroom.
I ate super 'badly' at the Sacramento event. Ate things that I know not to eat. But I ate what was there to eat and I'm paying for it. I will be significantly more careful in two weeks when I'm at the next training. Just because food is available and free doesn't mean I need to eat more than I do on a normal day. 'Cuz my innards don't appreciate the overload and they really punish me for it. Seriously.
My boss is in the office today which I know 'cuz he's been emailing me non-stop. I know he's doing as much as he can non-stop on the days he's in the office because with his dad's health issues, he's out of the office a bit these days, too. Poor guy. I remember that feeling - so well.
This morning, our favorite winery called us to offer a sale of 20% everything and $1 shipping. We did a review of what we wanted and ordered two cases of wine. J. initially said 'we've got plenty' but then I reminded him that I think I will be drinking more often when we have 4 more people here daily. A glass of wine with dinner every night is something I could get used to. Or at least a couple times a week. We bought some wines with R. in mind - she likes whites. And we splurged on a couple bottles of really delicious reds.
It's drizzly and cold here today -
With negotiations and a board meeting on tomorrow's calendar, I have to get there tomorrow - so I'm eating lightly today and praying things calm down. Early to bed for me tonight and hoping for better sleep (any sleep would be better than last night) so I can awake refreshed and ready for what tomorrow brings.
I ate super 'badly' at the Sacramento event. Ate things that I know not to eat. But I ate what was there to eat and I'm paying for it. I will be significantly more careful in two weeks when I'm at the next training. Just because food is available and free doesn't mean I need to eat more than I do on a normal day. 'Cuz my innards don't appreciate the overload and they really punish me for it. Seriously.
My boss is in the office today which I know 'cuz he's been emailing me non-stop. I know he's doing as much as he can non-stop on the days he's in the office because with his dad's health issues, he's out of the office a bit these days, too. Poor guy. I remember that feeling - so well.
This morning, our favorite winery called us to offer a sale of 20% everything and $1 shipping. We did a review of what we wanted and ordered two cases of wine. J. initially said 'we've got plenty' but then I reminded him that I think I will be drinking more often when we have 4 more people here daily. A glass of wine with dinner every night is something I could get used to. Or at least a couple times a week. We bought some wines with R. in mind - she likes whites. And we splurged on a couple bottles of really delicious reds.
It's drizzly and cold here today -
With negotiations and a board meeting on tomorrow's calendar, I have to get there tomorrow - so I'm eating lightly today and praying things calm down. Early to bed for me tonight and hoping for better sleep (any sleep would be better than last night) so I can awake refreshed and ready for what tomorrow brings.
Sunday, January 21, 2018
Dreading the Reality
Enjoying our second-to-last leisurely, quiet Sunday morning. Beef barley soup is simmering on the stove top. Cookies baked for the 'grand kids' who should arrive (we hope) around 1PM. Their appearance for dinner last night never happened and it's hard for me to understand how they are both just so abysmal at planning. Guess baseball tryouts for T. (R.'s son) started way later than they thought and by the time they were close to coming, it was three hours past when we expected them. We (especially me) were both fading fast so we rescheduled for them to arrive today.
Then we both tried super hard not to eat all the cookies.
I have moments when I think 'what the f*&^ have we done?'. But in discussions with J., we both acknowledge that for this point in time, it seems the only option. We want to set time limits on our 'support' (translation: living here) but...we'll just have to see how it goes. Neither of them has credit and now R. has an eviction on her 'record' so...H. will have to wait until he has a credit rating and/or six months of gainful employment to qualify for a house.
I ponder things like 'and now her son is on a baseball team' which I'm sure is not without expenses. In most divorces, the parents would both pay 1/2 - but that doesn't happen in this divorce and it's likely R. is paying. More outflow vs. any inflow to offset.
We hope to 'see' their budget today and mention things like 'and what about baseball'? And C. (R.'s daughter) is in 8th grade and there's LOTS of expenses related to that milestone year.
Just because we can help doesn't mean we should. It's hard to acknowledge - but we haven't watched her kids grow up - so while we like them and feel 'warm' towards them (they are kids, after all, so how could you not, really), we don't have feelings of super closeness or 'love' towards them. If they were our grand kids who've we've known all their lives (and them us), it would be different. Add to that there is no legal 'relationship' between R. & H. . Doesn't mean there's not history but...there's no bond that makes it a pretty solid commitment. And we're not sure there ever will be though H. says they've talked about it.
(I squash that thought like a bug in my head periodically - 'cuz until they can be self supporting, I don't think marriage is a good idea).
So even though we could offer to pitch in for 'extras' for the kids, I'm not inclined. But maybe what they pay us to live here will be tucked away and then we could use (some of) those funds to help. It's not like we 'need' the income their 'room and board' will provide. It's just going into savings where all 'extra' money goes. (I could rationalize it should be 'fun money' but J. says 'you can rationalize anything' and I'm trying to prove him wrong. Though I have a feeling that my sanity is going to require a lot more 'jaunts' to sit in front of a slot machine and veg).
I love my job but it is very stressful and I fear coming home to a house full of people every night. J. understand and knows that when I get home, I'm typically not chatty. I want to sit down, eat dinner, do my 'stuff' (computer, mail, finances, etc.) and then I am frequently upstairs heading to bed within a few hours of arriving home. I'm tired and drained most days and I really a struggling with having a lot more people around. I hope I don't lose my &^#@ due to the chaos.
J. has created a 'theater' in our room - his new TV with it's sound bar and two comfy, cozy armchairs. We can always escape to our 'wing' (the bedrooms being occupied are on the opposite side of the upstairs - not really a huge separation in terms of measured feet, but still, separate) and enjoy some TV and/or movies.
We are proceeding on watching Handmaid's Tale and I'm grateful to J. who watched a couple episodes when he was waiting at the car dealership this past week because he said he thought the story was providing 'content' that wasn't entirely gut-wrenching to watch. We gave up on the series once before but we tried again and I made it through a few more - but when you feel 'dread' at the thought of watching, it's hard. The dread is lightening and you start to 'see' the big(ger) picture of the story - it's feeling easier to watch and we're looking forward to Season 2 which starts in early April.
Time to shower and dress and continue working around the homestead. I just spent 10 minutes scrubbing something 'solidly congealed' off one of the refrigerator shelves and there's plenty more gradoo to work on.
Positive mojo and prayers appreciated - I know in the grand scheme of all the things happening in our country right now, this is the least of it - but still, I'd appreciate positive thoughts about this going reasonably OK. Hopefully, H.'s job will continue to be 'good' and he'll continue to like it - and even if he doesn't like it, he'll do it 'cuz he has to. His income is 'it' for them at the moment.
And we hope to finalize the sale of the Mariner this week. Fingers crossed. Not an(y) influx of cash for us - but off our insurance and onto hers. And then she can hopefully drive for Lyft again.
Then we both tried super hard not to eat all the cookies.
I have moments when I think 'what the f*&^ have we done?'. But in discussions with J., we both acknowledge that for this point in time, it seems the only option. We want to set time limits on our 'support' (translation: living here) but...we'll just have to see how it goes. Neither of them has credit and now R. has an eviction on her 'record' so...H. will have to wait until he has a credit rating and/or six months of gainful employment to qualify for a house.
I ponder things like 'and now her son is on a baseball team' which I'm sure is not without expenses. In most divorces, the parents would both pay 1/2 - but that doesn't happen in this divorce and it's likely R. is paying. More outflow vs. any inflow to offset.
We hope to 'see' their budget today and mention things like 'and what about baseball'? And C. (R.'s daughter) is in 8th grade and there's LOTS of expenses related to that milestone year.
Just because we can help doesn't mean we should. It's hard to acknowledge - but we haven't watched her kids grow up - so while we like them and feel 'warm' towards them (they are kids, after all, so how could you not, really), we don't have feelings of super closeness or 'love' towards them. If they were our grand kids who've we've known all their lives (and them us), it would be different. Add to that there is no legal 'relationship' between R. & H. . Doesn't mean there's not history but...there's no bond that makes it a pretty solid commitment. And we're not sure there ever will be though H. says they've talked about it.
(I squash that thought like a bug in my head periodically - 'cuz until they can be self supporting, I don't think marriage is a good idea).
So even though we could offer to pitch in for 'extras' for the kids, I'm not inclined. But maybe what they pay us to live here will be tucked away and then we could use (some of) those funds to help. It's not like we 'need' the income their 'room and board' will provide. It's just going into savings where all 'extra' money goes. (I could rationalize it should be 'fun money' but J. says 'you can rationalize anything' and I'm trying to prove him wrong. Though I have a feeling that my sanity is going to require a lot more 'jaunts' to sit in front of a slot machine and veg).
I love my job but it is very stressful and I fear coming home to a house full of people every night. J. understand and knows that when I get home, I'm typically not chatty. I want to sit down, eat dinner, do my 'stuff' (computer, mail, finances, etc.) and then I am frequently upstairs heading to bed within a few hours of arriving home. I'm tired and drained most days and I really a struggling with having a lot more people around. I hope I don't lose my &^#@ due to the chaos.
J. has created a 'theater' in our room - his new TV with it's sound bar and two comfy, cozy armchairs. We can always escape to our 'wing' (the bedrooms being occupied are on the opposite side of the upstairs - not really a huge separation in terms of measured feet, but still, separate) and enjoy some TV and/or movies.
We are proceeding on watching Handmaid's Tale and I'm grateful to J. who watched a couple episodes when he was waiting at the car dealership this past week because he said he thought the story was providing 'content' that wasn't entirely gut-wrenching to watch. We gave up on the series once before but we tried again and I made it through a few more - but when you feel 'dread' at the thought of watching, it's hard. The dread is lightening and you start to 'see' the big(ger) picture of the story - it's feeling easier to watch and we're looking forward to Season 2 which starts in early April.
Time to shower and dress and continue working around the homestead. I just spent 10 minutes scrubbing something 'solidly congealed' off one of the refrigerator shelves and there's plenty more gradoo to work on.
Positive mojo and prayers appreciated - I know in the grand scheme of all the things happening in our country right now, this is the least of it - but still, I'd appreciate positive thoughts about this going reasonably OK. Hopefully, H.'s job will continue to be 'good' and he'll continue to like it - and even if he doesn't like it, he'll do it 'cuz he has to. His income is 'it' for them at the moment.
And we hope to finalize the sale of the Mariner this week. Fingers crossed. Not an(y) influx of cash for us - but off our insurance and onto hers. And then she can hopefully drive for Lyft again.
Friday, January 19, 2018
This Big House
is going to be more 'full' than it's been in years 2 weeks from today. For reasons that I will (biting my tongue super hard to ensure I will) not say, the 'kids' and her kids 1/2 time are moving in with us. It's become pretty clear over the course of the past week or so that they have been living far beyond their means and while the thought of 4 people here - 3 of whom we know only superficially at this point - has me shaking in my shoes a lot, it's the only option we can come up with. The only other option is to just say 'go with God' and wash our hands of it all.
But he's our son. And he loves her and she loves him. And while it's super messy....it is what it is.
In my head, I think 'how about I rent an apartment for ME and just bolt?'. Kidding. Sort of.
We're hoping that allowing them to live here will give them a chance to save money. And will also (and possibly most importantly) allow R. to have funds to hire an attorney and force her ex to quit jerking her around and to do the things he is legally required to do. It's hard for her that we 'know' there are issues - she's intensely private and I get that - but the things that have happened and continue to happen are not in the best interest of the kids - and someone has to hold him accountable. Lawyers cost money and we're hoping the reduction in expenses will provide those funds - and when all that's taken care of, then they can start saving to get an apartment or rent a house.
I vetoed us co-signing a lease for a rental house in Manteca because J. and I are both super good with money and in the absence of feeling confident they can manage, we're not signing. I don't think either party is 'happy' about that turn of events. But THAT is what that is - and what it is is us not being willing to be on the hook for $1500 a month to keep them in a different dwelling.
We are (hopefully - because one of the many issues we have is continued instances of inaccurate communication that leads to a lot of confusion and hard feelings) expecting them with her kids tomorrow - pizza and sitting down and talking things out. We still have to (also) finalize the sale of the Mariner but frankly (and I told H. this earlier this evening), I'm not sure we should be selling her a car. I don't think she can pay for it monthly - and I'm not giving her a car. No way.
We'll see. Hopefully this time tomorrow evening, I'll feel a whole lot better about things.
I trekked to Sacramento yesterday for a two day training. My travel partner is a Gold status member of Marriott Rewards and she reserved a room for me - and we both were upgraded to one bedroom suites! And free made to order, served at a table by a waitress breakfast. In a really lovely hotel. The training was excellent. The only hard thing was: my boss' father had a stroke on Wednesday so he wasn't able to attend the training with us. Praying for him and his family - very hard thing to be going through. The waiting is just so dang hard.
J. is at a show at Gallo this evening with his friend R. . I'm having a Blue Moon and unwinding and likely heading to bed early. I slept like a ROCK last night but it was a short night - our class ended at 9 and I was in bed by 10 - but up early to get ready for today's all day session. I'm ready for sleep - and most importantly, ready for a no-alarm, go back to sleep kind of morning.
But he's our son. And he loves her and she loves him. And while it's super messy....it is what it is.
In my head, I think 'how about I rent an apartment for ME and just bolt?'. Kidding. Sort of.
We're hoping that allowing them to live here will give them a chance to save money. And will also (and possibly most importantly) allow R. to have funds to hire an attorney and force her ex to quit jerking her around and to do the things he is legally required to do. It's hard for her that we 'know' there are issues - she's intensely private and I get that - but the things that have happened and continue to happen are not in the best interest of the kids - and someone has to hold him accountable. Lawyers cost money and we're hoping the reduction in expenses will provide those funds - and when all that's taken care of, then they can start saving to get an apartment or rent a house.
I vetoed us co-signing a lease for a rental house in Manteca because J. and I are both super good with money and in the absence of feeling confident they can manage, we're not signing. I don't think either party is 'happy' about that turn of events. But THAT is what that is - and what it is is us not being willing to be on the hook for $1500 a month to keep them in a different dwelling.
We are (hopefully - because one of the many issues we have is continued instances of inaccurate communication that leads to a lot of confusion and hard feelings) expecting them with her kids tomorrow - pizza and sitting down and talking things out. We still have to (also) finalize the sale of the Mariner but frankly (and I told H. this earlier this evening), I'm not sure we should be selling her a car. I don't think she can pay for it monthly - and I'm not giving her a car. No way.
We'll see. Hopefully this time tomorrow evening, I'll feel a whole lot better about things.
I trekked to Sacramento yesterday for a two day training. My travel partner is a Gold status member of Marriott Rewards and she reserved a room for me - and we both were upgraded to one bedroom suites! And free made to order, served at a table by a waitress breakfast. In a really lovely hotel. The training was excellent. The only hard thing was: my boss' father had a stroke on Wednesday so he wasn't able to attend the training with us. Praying for him and his family - very hard thing to be going through. The waiting is just so dang hard.
J. is at a show at Gallo this evening with his friend R. . I'm having a Blue Moon and unwinding and likely heading to bed early. I slept like a ROCK last night but it was a short night - our class ended at 9 and I was in bed by 10 - but up early to get ready for today's all day session. I'm ready for sleep - and most importantly, ready for a no-alarm, go back to sleep kind of morning.
Monday, January 15, 2018
Waffling
Nice to have a three day weekend just after the first week back. It was a good week, all things considered. I started by making a list and did a pretty good job of maintaining the list from Day 1. Felt super productive daily which felt great.
This week will have me in the car round trip to Sacramento twice and includes an overnight stay in Sacramento as well. I'm attending a class that is 5PM - 9PM on Thursdays and all day Fridays and (thankfully) I'm going to stay up there. My boss is commuting but he has a one year old to help with at home so - and/or he may stay with his brother who lives near there.
The past few days have been reflective of the constant back and forth with H&R - who required rescuing again when their electricity was turned off. We came up with the payment due and it was (thankfully) turned back on - but the 'stories' around why/how that shutoff happened vary and change like the wind. I think we got a more accurate 'story' this evening when H. stopped by for (literally) 8 minutes to pickup boxes - R. had tried to charge the amount due on a credit card but it didn't go through.
I think they have been living well over their means for a long time.
They think they've found a house to rent and are acknowledging that the cats are going to have to be given to friends. I strongly urged him to have the kids start looking for friends to take them both - because we have decided we don't want them here. I just can't handle felines. I love them - don't get me wrong. Love, love cats. They are often snuggly and sweet and purring is very comforting. They are also sneaky, love to use our wood stair posts as scratching posts and at some point, will likely decide to pee everywhere but their litter box. I speak from experience. So no. We won't do cats.
H. is bringing the paperwork over tomorrow for the rental - they've submitted an application. They need us to co-sign and I feel a lot of trepidation about that. Signing a long-term lease is scary when we're the party that will be responsible financially - and these 'kids' don't have the best track record. I'm going to insist that we won't co-sign until we've sat down together, pencil and paper and sketched out their monthly budget. R. is (please, God, let this work out) starting a part time job she can do at home, assisting a long-time family friend as an admin assistant. He owns a construction company and can use help with paperwork, scheduling, etc. . Once the Mariner is in her name, she can start driving for Lyft again as well. I think having two incomes is imperative to this working out 'cuz there's no way H.'s salary is going to be enough on it's own.
I wrestle with thinking the world of him for taking on 'a wife and two kids' and doing his best to support them financially - and wanting to slap some sense into him. But people do a lot in the name of love so....I try to bite my tongue.
I'm not good at biting my tongue - which I demonstrated earlier today on the phone with B.. He shared that 'I've given up drinking'. He paused - probably waiting for me to cheer! - and then said 'for two months. I'm stopping for two months'. I said 'oh, so just for a couple months'. I DID stop myself from saying 'so you're not really stopping so much as taking a break'. But he was pissed that I said 'only a couple months'. The silence told the story.
He's bored - because he can't go to bars with friends and they do that a lot, I guess? He said 'I know myself and if I go to a bar, I will have a drink'. So better that he stays away. But a four day weekend closed up in his room - even with a nice TV and plenty of video games to play - he sounded 'down'.
I'm glad he's taking a break from drinking and I'm hoping that if/when he starts again, he'll try for more moderation.
Chicken avocado burgers for dinner - yummy! We're using our Hello Fresh recipes to create meals for a few weeks - we'll see how we do. We can always start the orders back up again easily but we have plenty of food on hand and should eat what we have.
We're approaching being just 60 days away from our Disneyworld trip which means we can start making dinner reservations and get our fast passes set up for each day. It will be a whirlwind trip and as first timers, it feels overwhelming. I've been to Disneyworld and Epcot but it was 21 years ago and I was only in the parks for a day...and what I remember most about that day is how much I missed my husband and my kids. Super glad J. will be with me this time!
We've also set all of our cruise excursions and have one port where we're just going to see what we feel like doing that morning - no booked excursion. We may get off the ship and head into the port and just explore on our own, being careful not too venture too far from the port and most definitely not getting in a vehicle for any 'excursion' that takes us away from where the ship is docked nearby. The change in itinerary necessitated by the hurricanes left us with one less sea day so I just might stay on the ship that day and just relax. Sit on the balcony, read, nap, go to the pool or spa. There's zillions of things to do - this ship is far larger than The Jewel we cruised on last year so there's going to be plenty to explore and do.
I need to start getting ready for tomorrow - a super early alarm and a long drive North in what will likely be fog. It's been overcast, cold and foggy here for a few days and looks like more of that this week. Fingers crossed the weather lightens up by February 10th 'cuz I'm booked for two nights at The Atlantis and I really (emphasis on REALLY) want to go -
Sunday, January 07, 2018
Vino
Here's hoping that the key to a decent night's sleep before the first day of work in 19 days is a couple of glasses of really good wine consumed over a really nice dinner with our youngest son and his girlfriend.
We love them both very much -
Sleep and work beckon. Back to 'nose to the grindstone' - but it's a job I'm good at and grateful for - and there's a lot to be said for steady, well-paid employment.
2018 is going to be a good year.
We love them both very much -
Sleep and work beckon. Back to 'nose to the grindstone' - but it's a job I'm good at and grateful for - and there's a lot to be said for steady, well-paid employment.
2018 is going to be a good year.
Wednesday, January 03, 2018
Making Up for Silence
Even J. got caught up on the blog and commented 'you're writing again!'.
Enjoying my morning coffee out of my Royal Botanical Gardens coffee cup and feeling very refined and regal-like this morning. In my dachshund pajamas -
Chloe didn't eat vigorously this morning and I always worry about her when her food lingers in the bowl. Usually, she's begging the minute we come downstairs and inhales it so quickly we sometimes aren't sure we've fed her. But she finally came out of her burrow bed, did her downward and upward facing dog yoga stretches and with a waggly tail, went into the family room and ate.
As long as she's moving with a waggly, happy tail, I know she's OK. She's just having a slow morning and I understand completely. Some mornings, you just want to linger.
J. and I sketched out our finances and are making the withdrawals needed to fund what needs funding. We're pleased as punch that we more than made up (in gain) what we took out in 2017 and hope to do the same this year. I will feel much better that have things paid for in full and have the funds we'll need for taxes, etc. . We're going to try it with two car payments for the next few months and see how it goes but agree that if we need to, we will arrange to pay off J.'s car. I'm pretty sure we'll be OK but appreciate not having to stress about it if two payments are needed. Luckily, one is in the first part of the month and the 2nd is in the middle of the month - so cash flow wise, that helps.
I LOVE MY NEW CAR! Super excited and can't wait for a road trip to Reno - hopefully in early February!
We moved the October, 2018, Panama Canal cruise to March, 2019 - which feels like a long way off but will be here in the blink of an eye. Doing that not only helps out with the budget but also frees up some vacation time for me and that feels like a weight lifted. If I feel like a day off, I can totally take one and that will see me through Spring. And the annual torture known as building a budget for the next fiscal year.
I have communicated with all my siblings in the last couple weeks and feel good about that - maybe 2018 is a year of new beginnings for all of us. Here's hoping. I'm pretty realistic about contact but I'm getting older and I feel compelled to try. So we'll see how that goes.
I also got a surprise call from my Aunt a week or so ago - it was great to talk to her and catch up. We need to figure out how to see each other - me going there or her coming here. She lives in Massachusetts - and near enough to Boston for me to drive there. We have a friend who is a pastor at a church in Boston and I'd love to get there as well to hear her preach one day.
Cold and cloudy today - maybe rain! We need it - very dry winter so far and we need the water to get us through. Here's hoping it pours in January and February. Except the weekend I want to get to Reno in February.
Time to get clothes on and get busy. Hoping the neighbors recycling bin isn't too full so we can add some stuff. J.'s new TV resulted in a HUGE box to cut down and recycle. And we still have a lot of stuff set aside that didn't fit in our bin like Christmas wrapping remnants and old plastic bins that are past their prime.
Enjoying my morning coffee out of my Royal Botanical Gardens coffee cup and feeling very refined and regal-like this morning. In my dachshund pajamas -
Chloe didn't eat vigorously this morning and I always worry about her when her food lingers in the bowl. Usually, she's begging the minute we come downstairs and inhales it so quickly we sometimes aren't sure we've fed her. But she finally came out of her burrow bed, did her downward and upward facing dog yoga stretches and with a waggly tail, went into the family room and ate.
As long as she's moving with a waggly, happy tail, I know she's OK. She's just having a slow morning and I understand completely. Some mornings, you just want to linger.
J. and I sketched out our finances and are making the withdrawals needed to fund what needs funding. We're pleased as punch that we more than made up (in gain) what we took out in 2017 and hope to do the same this year. I will feel much better that have things paid for in full and have the funds we'll need for taxes, etc. . We're going to try it with two car payments for the next few months and see how it goes but agree that if we need to, we will arrange to pay off J.'s car. I'm pretty sure we'll be OK but appreciate not having to stress about it if two payments are needed. Luckily, one is in the first part of the month and the 2nd is in the middle of the month - so cash flow wise, that helps.
I LOVE MY NEW CAR! Super excited and can't wait for a road trip to Reno - hopefully in early February!
We moved the October, 2018, Panama Canal cruise to March, 2019 - which feels like a long way off but will be here in the blink of an eye. Doing that not only helps out with the budget but also frees up some vacation time for me and that feels like a weight lifted. If I feel like a day off, I can totally take one and that will see me through Spring. And the annual torture known as building a budget for the next fiscal year.
I have communicated with all my siblings in the last couple weeks and feel good about that - maybe 2018 is a year of new beginnings for all of us. Here's hoping. I'm pretty realistic about contact but I'm getting older and I feel compelled to try. So we'll see how that goes.
I also got a surprise call from my Aunt a week or so ago - it was great to talk to her and catch up. We need to figure out how to see each other - me going there or her coming here. She lives in Massachusetts - and near enough to Boston for me to drive there. We have a friend who is a pastor at a church in Boston and I'd love to get there as well to hear her preach one day.
Cold and cloudy today - maybe rain! We need it - very dry winter so far and we need the water to get us through. Here's hoping it pours in January and February. Except the weekend I want to get to Reno in February.
Time to get clothes on and get busy. Hoping the neighbors recycling bin isn't too full so we can add some stuff. J.'s new TV resulted in a HUGE box to cut down and recycle. And we still have a lot of stuff set aside that didn't fit in our bin like Christmas wrapping remnants and old plastic bins that are past their prime.
Tuesday, January 02, 2018
Merged and Unmerged
Our email addresses use a .[>>>] suffix that really dates us. It's a company that hasn't existed (technically) for decades. For a long time, the 'parent company's' email and any Yahoo email addresses were allowed to coexist. Emails to either were in the same email box and readily accessible on the Yahoo website.
Until recently. I noticed there were some odd things popping up now and then but paid no attention - until yesterday when I realized that all of my email folders - categorized by topic and containing emails spanning decades of time - were gone. I tried to convince myself it was 'no big deal' if they disappeared - until last night, in the middle of the night, I realized that all of our tax files were in those folders as well - the confirmations that the e-filing worked. Year by year by 4 people. Gone. Poof. We tried to get to the old folders last night and it didn't go well. I went to bed frustrated - which is probably why I ruminated about it and then panicked all over again when I realized we'd lost the confirmation from the IRS and the State about multiple years of returns.
Thankfully, J. was able to help me this afternoon - the secret was signing on to Yahoo from a browser I never use - so it wouldn't 'remember me' and keep taking me to the 'new' email box. All current emails are received in this new box. Using a new browser and logging in to Yahoo 'found' all my private folders and other emails. Yay! I hope to sleep better tonight.
We bid farewell to B. this morning and it's amazing to witness that he gets himself up and moving all on his own. He was downstairs, relatively ready to go on time until he decided he needed a chai tea for the road. It's always hard to tell him goodbye but we had a wonderful three weeks and I'm grateful for the time. All in all, he's very pleasant to spend time with. He had a good amount of fun with friends and spent a lot of quality time with us - it was lovely.
Missing him - but it is nice to have the house to ourselves again.
J. spent part of the afternoon finishing up putting away Christmas and then we tried to get my new car's garage door opener synced up with the two garage doors. Actually, we only tried one and couldn't get it to work so...we gave up and will try again tomorrow. I can park in the garage again!!
I (finally) heard back from my boss who confirmed my plans to be off this Th & Friday so yay! I will pop in to the office briefly tomorrow and trek to our COE briefly as well - but I will be off. I should work/could work. Plenty to do. But I'm psyching myself up to just enjoy the rest of the week off and then hit it hard and fast and furious next week - including putting in some weekend time if needed here and there.
There's a job up in Placer County Office of Ed that closes this Friday and it's tempting. We would move up to Roseville area and be 1.5 hours closer to Reno - I am still thinking about it but....the inertia required to move is what stops me. I would need to rent a room somewhere until we found a house, sold this one and moved. A lot of moving parts. And it seems a bit unwise to buy again when we know where we want to land permanently is Reno. A house in between Reno and here doesn't seem like a good financial move.
There's a job at our COE open (in Stockton) as well - but the $36K pay difference keeps stopping me. As convenient as staying in this County (and house) is, I just can't deal with that much of a pay cut. Hard to feel motivated to take a different job that results in adding a commute and bringing home considerably less than I do now. Feels like I'd be going backward and I can't do that.
Especially not with a new car in the garage.
Cloudy and cold today and weather is approaching over the next couple days. I am tempted to take a quick road trip to Reno - just for the day, most likely - but will have to wait and see how the weather looks.
Until recently. I noticed there were some odd things popping up now and then but paid no attention - until yesterday when I realized that all of my email folders - categorized by topic and containing emails spanning decades of time - were gone. I tried to convince myself it was 'no big deal' if they disappeared - until last night, in the middle of the night, I realized that all of our tax files were in those folders as well - the confirmations that the e-filing worked. Year by year by 4 people. Gone. Poof. We tried to get to the old folders last night and it didn't go well. I went to bed frustrated - which is probably why I ruminated about it and then panicked all over again when I realized we'd lost the confirmation from the IRS and the State about multiple years of returns.
Thankfully, J. was able to help me this afternoon - the secret was signing on to Yahoo from a browser I never use - so it wouldn't 'remember me' and keep taking me to the 'new' email box. All current emails are received in this new box. Using a new browser and logging in to Yahoo 'found' all my private folders and other emails. Yay! I hope to sleep better tonight.
We bid farewell to B. this morning and it's amazing to witness that he gets himself up and moving all on his own. He was downstairs, relatively ready to go on time until he decided he needed a chai tea for the road. It's always hard to tell him goodbye but we had a wonderful three weeks and I'm grateful for the time. All in all, he's very pleasant to spend time with. He had a good amount of fun with friends and spent a lot of quality time with us - it was lovely.
Missing him - but it is nice to have the house to ourselves again.
J. spent part of the afternoon finishing up putting away Christmas and then we tried to get my new car's garage door opener synced up with the two garage doors. Actually, we only tried one and couldn't get it to work so...we gave up and will try again tomorrow. I can park in the garage again!!
I (finally) heard back from my boss who confirmed my plans to be off this Th & Friday so yay! I will pop in to the office briefly tomorrow and trek to our COE briefly as well - but I will be off. I should work/could work. Plenty to do. But I'm psyching myself up to just enjoy the rest of the week off and then hit it hard and fast and furious next week - including putting in some weekend time if needed here and there.
There's a job up in Placer County Office of Ed that closes this Friday and it's tempting. We would move up to Roseville area and be 1.5 hours closer to Reno - I am still thinking about it but....the inertia required to move is what stops me. I would need to rent a room somewhere until we found a house, sold this one and moved. A lot of moving parts. And it seems a bit unwise to buy again when we know where we want to land permanently is Reno. A house in between Reno and here doesn't seem like a good financial move.
There's a job at our COE open (in Stockton) as well - but the $36K pay difference keeps stopping me. As convenient as staying in this County (and house) is, I just can't deal with that much of a pay cut. Hard to feel motivated to take a different job that results in adding a commute and bringing home considerably less than I do now. Feels like I'd be going backward and I can't do that.
Especially not with a new car in the garage.
Cloudy and cold today and weather is approaching over the next couple days. I am tempted to take a quick road trip to Reno - just for the day, most likely - but will have to wait and see how the weather looks.
Monday, January 01, 2018
Perfect Example
I wrote a bit yesterday about how the lack of communication between us and H. & R. is problematic and troublesome. We'd reached out a few times since Christmas to each of them and no response. Was heading down the hill in my psyche of feeling like my limit is reached....and I'd be done. (I don't really know what 'done' would look like most of the time - he is our son, after all - but I feel done a lot lately, at least on the inside).
But it turns out that the reason they have not been communicating - besides the fact that H. now has a job and that keeps him pretty busy - is that R. has been very, very sick the past few days. So sick that she spent last night in the hospital! She came home today and is doing better - and will try to come over tomorrow if they can. J. picked up H. on his way back from dropping off our last 2017 donations and he and B. were FINALLY able to go to the shooting range for some fun. Then we drove the Mariner to Manteca - H. and I in the Rav and J. piloting the car for them.
That small example of the highs and lows and all the in betweens is why writing isn't really 'easy' these days. A lot of stuff could be spewed (by me) and then it turns out there's a somewhat logical reason for it all.
They do want the Mariner and for now, we are letting them borrow it for a couple weeks. Pending setting an appointment at DMV in January for us to go there and get the paperwork done to sell it to her with her as the registered owner and us holding a lien on the vehicle. We're making them the deal of a lifetime in terms of rate - 0% interest for as long as they need to buy it - and an agreement that in the event they are able to get a different car before the loan is paid off, we will buy the car back from them for whatever is still owed and they can move on. I told H. 'so in the event you don't want to keep it long enough to pay off the loan (because at $100 a month [for example], it will take awhile to pay it off), you will have essentially rented a car for $100 a month - which is way better than the $30+ a day you've been paying for a rental car, right?'. I just wanted to acknowledge that yes, it will be a long loan term and maybe you won't want/need that car for that long. But you'll at least have reliable transport for as long as it runs. (It's in outstanding condition and has been impeccably maintained - so it will last another 100K miles, most likely).
They are also talking about selling some furniture R. inherited from her grandmother and they will be able to sell her current car - and hopefully use some of those funds to make a big dent in the Mariner loan, which will shorten the term considerably.
I'm already feeling super tired this evening - I've been having stomach issues myself (though thankfully, I'm able to stay hydrated.) I feel hungry but as soon as I eat, all hell breaks loose. I'm in pain - not cramps, just pain - like something is inflamed. I have been ingesting cows milk products over the break more than usual so....that's likely some of the cause.
I'm so grateful to have another week off - really wonderful and it's been a nice, long break.
B. leaves on Tuesday morning. We had a nice breakfast at Perko's on Saturday morning and he confessed that he's thinking he's ready to take a vacation somewhere completely different. He mentioned maybe a 'sky diving' vacation of some kind. He's around the same age I was when I took my first 'all by myself and not just visiting family' vacation so it's time. But we'll sure miss him and were super glad to have him home for Christmas.
I am entering 2018 with a commitment to assuming the best of people. Always. Even when it's very, very hard to do so - it is always the right thing. And that includes assuming the best of myself. Fixing situations that need fixing and moving forward - no matter what. Forward, after all, is the only way to go.
But it turns out that the reason they have not been communicating - besides the fact that H. now has a job and that keeps him pretty busy - is that R. has been very, very sick the past few days. So sick that she spent last night in the hospital! She came home today and is doing better - and will try to come over tomorrow if they can. J. picked up H. on his way back from dropping off our last 2017 donations and he and B. were FINALLY able to go to the shooting range for some fun. Then we drove the Mariner to Manteca - H. and I in the Rav and J. piloting the car for them.
That small example of the highs and lows and all the in betweens is why writing isn't really 'easy' these days. A lot of stuff could be spewed (by me) and then it turns out there's a somewhat logical reason for it all.
They do want the Mariner and for now, we are letting them borrow it for a couple weeks. Pending setting an appointment at DMV in January for us to go there and get the paperwork done to sell it to her with her as the registered owner and us holding a lien on the vehicle. We're making them the deal of a lifetime in terms of rate - 0% interest for as long as they need to buy it - and an agreement that in the event they are able to get a different car before the loan is paid off, we will buy the car back from them for whatever is still owed and they can move on. I told H. 'so in the event you don't want to keep it long enough to pay off the loan (because at $100 a month [for example], it will take awhile to pay it off), you will have essentially rented a car for $100 a month - which is way better than the $30+ a day you've been paying for a rental car, right?'. I just wanted to acknowledge that yes, it will be a long loan term and maybe you won't want/need that car for that long. But you'll at least have reliable transport for as long as it runs. (It's in outstanding condition and has been impeccably maintained - so it will last another 100K miles, most likely).
They are also talking about selling some furniture R. inherited from her grandmother and they will be able to sell her current car - and hopefully use some of those funds to make a big dent in the Mariner loan, which will shorten the term considerably.
I'm already feeling super tired this evening - I've been having stomach issues myself (though thankfully, I'm able to stay hydrated.) I feel hungry but as soon as I eat, all hell breaks loose. I'm in pain - not cramps, just pain - like something is inflamed. I have been ingesting cows milk products over the break more than usual so....that's likely some of the cause.
I'm so grateful to have another week off - really wonderful and it's been a nice, long break.
B. leaves on Tuesday morning. We had a nice breakfast at Perko's on Saturday morning and he confessed that he's thinking he's ready to take a vacation somewhere completely different. He mentioned maybe a 'sky diving' vacation of some kind. He's around the same age I was when I took my first 'all by myself and not just visiting family' vacation so it's time. But we'll sure miss him and were super glad to have him home for Christmas.
I am entering 2018 with a commitment to assuming the best of people. Always. Even when it's very, very hard to do so - it is always the right thing. And that includes assuming the best of myself. Fixing situations that need fixing and moving forward - no matter what. Forward, after all, is the only way to go.
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Tales of Helpers
Our cleaning lady D. is here today - she wears earbuds and chats on the phone while she works. She is the third cleaning 'person(s)'...
