Check out this site:
www.storyofstuff.com
Be a part of the solution.
For me, it started today when I absolutely, positively insisted that my son did not need a new pair of shoes. He wants a new pair - the latest and greatest to replace the barely worn latest and greatest he positively had to have just a few months ago. They are completely fine, little wear and still fit. They just aren't 'new'.
He will not get new shoes until there are holes in the soles of the two pairs he has. Period.
I am resorting to threatening to sell our home and move to Idaho, ala Bruce and Demi, to ensure this materialism will not continue. The pride I feel at providing well for my kids is quickly being replaced by grief and shame - that it's all too easy these days. For them, for us - for all of us, really. It's a giant consumeristic machine that keeps chugging and chugging and we keep feeding it.
Watch the video. Think about what it says. It may change your perspective on purchases forever. At the very least, you will never go to a Target or Wal-Mart again without considering your purchases very carefully. I know I will be.
I want the best for my kids. But I want a future for their kids and all the kids that come after us. Change has to start somewhere. And one person, one family at a time is all it will take.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Joy!
Awhile back, I posted a hopeful prayer for a blogger whose blog I read daily - the lovely Julia. She was pregnant and given her multiple losses, I was praying this one was a keeper. I took the post down, because sadly, she lost that baby shortly after.
Julia has been pregnant again - the 'lucky 13s' as she calls them. Her 13th pregnancy (and she has only one child from the previous 12 pregnancies) was a keeper and this morning, she gave birth to TWINS - a boy and a girl! Little Christmas miracles. I have been reading her updates daily and holding my breath - because even though everything went great throughout the pregnancy, you just never know. But the babies are here!!! And by all accounts so far, are doing great!
That's the amazing thing about the blog world - I don't know Julia. And yet, I do. I know about her amazing son Patrick, her wonderful husband Steve and her - a woman with more resilience and bravery and chutzpah than I will ever have. I am so incredibly over the moon happy for her! and her family.
Welcome to the blogosphere, 13a and 13b (names not announced yet)! You have an entire community who have been waiting for your arrival for years!!!
Blessings all around!
Julia has been pregnant again - the 'lucky 13s' as she calls them. Her 13th pregnancy (and she has only one child from the previous 12 pregnancies) was a keeper and this morning, she gave birth to TWINS - a boy and a girl! Little Christmas miracles. I have been reading her updates daily and holding my breath - because even though everything went great throughout the pregnancy, you just never know. But the babies are here!!! And by all accounts so far, are doing great!
That's the amazing thing about the blog world - I don't know Julia. And yet, I do. I know about her amazing son Patrick, her wonderful husband Steve and her - a woman with more resilience and bravery and chutzpah than I will ever have. I am so incredibly over the moon happy for her! and her family.
Welcome to the blogosphere, 13a and 13b (names not announced yet)! You have an entire community who have been waiting for your arrival for years!!!
Blessings all around!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Faves
Favorites on my gift list this year:
iPod connector for the van. Hooks into the cigarette lighter and transmits on an FM station. It's a bit 'staticy' at times and is a pain when you're driving from city to city, since you have to re tune to a different station. But, as I told J. this evening - since I stop at a Starbucks in virtually every city I travel to, it will work. And will save me buying a new car for a nice(r) iPod hookup, at least for awhile.
Seasons 1 & 2 (same DVD set) of the TV show 'Hazel'. Just hearing the theme song took me back. We had a 'Hazel' of sorts - her name was Mrs. Hagen. She was the mother of a neighbor and she helped my mom with housecleaning and taking care of us after school. And also on sick days. I remember that whenever I was sick, I would make myself green peas drowning in butter. And Mrs. Hagen would do a little 'tsk, tsk - soooo much butter'. But I'd make them anyway and love eating them. I'd give anything for my kids to fix a vegetable for a snack or meal - and butter is the least of worries in terms of nutrition. But Mrs. Hagen would always comment on that. She was a nice lady. And a big help to my mom. I've loved watching the DVDs this weekend. And hope they will put out other seasons soon. I also have 'The Doris Day' show on my wish list on Amazon and for now, ordered them via Netflix. They are a lot of fun, also and another nice walk down memory lane.
The Cuisineart Pannini Grill. It's GREAT. I have it on the breakfast bar next to the stand mixer. Have made hot dogs, breakfast (potatoes and bacon) so far and have a zillion more ideas. It's a grill or a griddle and switching the plates out is a breeze. I just love it and think we will use it a lot. It's easy for the kids to use for quick grilled cheese sandwiches, quick hot dogs, etc. And the hash browns were crispy and great!
jjill and Sephora gift cards! LOVE those two stores and am treating myself to some post-Christmas clearance (jjill) and new makeup at Sephora. The best part is: I don't have to leave the house. Can use the GCs online and shipping is free! Great deal all around. Thanks to the men in my life for spoiling me!
Finally, the Nintendo Wii. It is a lot of fun FOR ALL OF US - and that is a rare and wonderful thing. Has gotten both me and J. up off our butts a fair amount the past few days - and that's a great thing. It's a fun 'activity' to do together and we are all really enjoying it.
It's been a great Christmas all around! Hope yours was the same!
iPod connector for the van. Hooks into the cigarette lighter and transmits on an FM station. It's a bit 'staticy' at times and is a pain when you're driving from city to city, since you have to re tune to a different station. But, as I told J. this evening - since I stop at a Starbucks in virtually every city I travel to, it will work. And will save me buying a new car for a nice(r) iPod hookup, at least for awhile.
Seasons 1 & 2 (same DVD set) of the TV show 'Hazel'. Just hearing the theme song took me back. We had a 'Hazel' of sorts - her name was Mrs. Hagen. She was the mother of a neighbor and she helped my mom with housecleaning and taking care of us after school. And also on sick days. I remember that whenever I was sick, I would make myself green peas drowning in butter. And Mrs. Hagen would do a little 'tsk, tsk - soooo much butter'. But I'd make them anyway and love eating them. I'd give anything for my kids to fix a vegetable for a snack or meal - and butter is the least of worries in terms of nutrition. But Mrs. Hagen would always comment on that. She was a nice lady. And a big help to my mom. I've loved watching the DVDs this weekend. And hope they will put out other seasons soon. I also have 'The Doris Day' show on my wish list on Amazon and for now, ordered them via Netflix. They are a lot of fun, also and another nice walk down memory lane.
The Cuisineart Pannini Grill. It's GREAT. I have it on the breakfast bar next to the stand mixer. Have made hot dogs, breakfast (potatoes and bacon) so far and have a zillion more ideas. It's a grill or a griddle and switching the plates out is a breeze. I just love it and think we will use it a lot. It's easy for the kids to use for quick grilled cheese sandwiches, quick hot dogs, etc. And the hash browns were crispy and great!
jjill and Sephora gift cards! LOVE those two stores and am treating myself to some post-Christmas clearance (jjill) and new makeup at Sephora. The best part is: I don't have to leave the house. Can use the GCs online and shipping is free! Great deal all around. Thanks to the men in my life for spoiling me!
Finally, the Nintendo Wii. It is a lot of fun FOR ALL OF US - and that is a rare and wonderful thing. Has gotten both me and J. up off our butts a fair amount the past few days - and that's a great thing. It's a fun 'activity' to do together and we are all really enjoying it.
It's been a great Christmas all around! Hope yours was the same!
Beanies
In the mid to late 90's I went through an all out obsession with Beanie Babies. Have no idea why. I know it started when B.'s babysitter at the time (Donna) showed me some at her home and sent me to Nordstrom to get them. The line was out the door - they were giving out numbers to people to wait for the latest shipment to hit the sales floor. It was crazy. And I guess the excitement of the 'panic-like' atmosphere made it hard(er) to resist. I was hooked. And thus began years of searching, spending, selling, storing, etc. It was a wild time. The Teeny Beanie craze at McDonald's led to more Happy Meals than I can count. I used Chicken McNuggets and french fries in so many creative casserole-like dishes, you can't imagine. I gave homeless people Happy Meals 'cuz the kids were so sick of eating at the golden arches, they revolted and refused to eat them anymore.
I had two display cases FULL at one time. Some of the Beanies were valuable in the 'hey-day' of the craze. But time has passed and they have been moved out of their display cases (which are now book/game cases in the play/game room upstairs) and into bins that have been stacked in the garage.
AND, since we are working on the garage - yes, really, we are - there is concrete floor visible where none has been for a long, long time - I finally 'let go' of the Beanie thing and packed up all the beanies, including the Teeny Beanies, Beanie Buddies - display cases (plastic boxes) and all - and delivered them to the Shepherd's Gate shelter in Livermore this afternoon. Bags and bags of Beanies, and Bionicles and other stuffed animals from H.'s collection - along with toiletries, etc. I know they can use. The shelter staff was incredibly thankful and nice - insisted I bring them directly to the office (vs. their usual collection center) and were so happy to have them. I saw a bunch of kids there around the facilities and I know the Beanies are going to be well loved. Bionicles, too. It felt great to give them to a place that I know will use them. A lady was there - a volunteer - and she said 'oh, I can't wait to get them into baskets for the kids'. That made me feel good - they will go to kids, not just be sold at a thrift store, or tossed. I know they will be loved a lot. And there's a lot more space in our garage and many more empty bins to move.
Next on the list is to offer the dryer on FreeCycle and put the raggedy old sofa bed out at the curb during next Spring clean up - sadly not until early April. Oh well. It's too hideous to give to Goodwill and I doubt it will be 'snapped up'. But the trash folks will haul it away for us if we just wait until the 'free pickup' event happens. I'm too frugal to pay for the pickup earlier.
There was a brief moment in the garage this afternoon when I thought 'hey, my grand kids might like these'. And they might. And if they do, I'll buy them some. But keeping them - sitting sadly in plastic boxes inside plastic bins - is not what Beanie Babies are for. They should be loved. And they will be. I just know it.
I am heading to a Lion's meeting shortly. The cleaning crew came today so the house is 'presentable'. Although there's still a lot to put away (aka Christmas decorations, etc.) and still much to do (thank you notes, cards possibly - which will now be 'Happy New Year' cards more than anything). We still have 10 more days 'off'. Looking forward to a great New Years Eve party and then multiple days to recoup and regroup after the holidays. Poor J. has to return to work on the 3rd. I pity him. The boys and I are off until the 7th!! Yippee!!
I had two display cases FULL at one time. Some of the Beanies were valuable in the 'hey-day' of the craze. But time has passed and they have been moved out of their display cases (which are now book/game cases in the play/game room upstairs) and into bins that have been stacked in the garage.
AND, since we are working on the garage - yes, really, we are - there is concrete floor visible where none has been for a long, long time - I finally 'let go' of the Beanie thing and packed up all the beanies, including the Teeny Beanies, Beanie Buddies - display cases (plastic boxes) and all - and delivered them to the Shepherd's Gate shelter in Livermore this afternoon. Bags and bags of Beanies, and Bionicles and other stuffed animals from H.'s collection - along with toiletries, etc. I know they can use. The shelter staff was incredibly thankful and nice - insisted I bring them directly to the office (vs. their usual collection center) and were so happy to have them. I saw a bunch of kids there around the facilities and I know the Beanies are going to be well loved. Bionicles, too. It felt great to give them to a place that I know will use them. A lady was there - a volunteer - and she said 'oh, I can't wait to get them into baskets for the kids'. That made me feel good - they will go to kids, not just be sold at a thrift store, or tossed. I know they will be loved a lot. And there's a lot more space in our garage and many more empty bins to move.
Next on the list is to offer the dryer on FreeCycle and put the raggedy old sofa bed out at the curb during next Spring clean up - sadly not until early April. Oh well. It's too hideous to give to Goodwill and I doubt it will be 'snapped up'. But the trash folks will haul it away for us if we just wait until the 'free pickup' event happens. I'm too frugal to pay for the pickup earlier.
There was a brief moment in the garage this afternoon when I thought 'hey, my grand kids might like these'. And they might. And if they do, I'll buy them some. But keeping them - sitting sadly in plastic boxes inside plastic bins - is not what Beanie Babies are for. They should be loved. And they will be. I just know it.
I am heading to a Lion's meeting shortly. The cleaning crew came today so the house is 'presentable'. Although there's still a lot to put away (aka Christmas decorations, etc.) and still much to do (thank you notes, cards possibly - which will now be 'Happy New Year' cards more than anything). We still have 10 more days 'off'. Looking forward to a great New Years Eve party and then multiple days to recoup and regroup after the holidays. Poor J. has to return to work on the 3rd. I pity him. The boys and I are off until the 7th!! Yippee!!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Opposites
There's always a point each Christmas, usually around Christmas Eve - when I'm ready for it to be over. Done. Finished. For another year, at least. The kids are on our nerves. On each other's nerves. They bicker constantly. Argue over the silliest things. And are so 'want-filled'. H. continued with his list of 'needs' long after I'd given up on using my death glare to convey my exhaustion at his never ending listing of things he says he needs. Current list includes pants and silk boxers. Yes, silk - or silk like. And I admit we did get him a few pairs of those for Christmas and they cost (for ONE PAIR) the same as a 3 pack of good old fashioned Hanes boxers.
Church was lovely. And very crowded. Felt great to see the church 'full' like that and I don't remember last year being anywhere nearly as 'full'. The candlelight was beautiful and the sermon was great. And Pastor K. waited with J. and the kids outside (I was visiting with a friend in the lobby) to be sure he got to say hello to me - which was nice. He's been here just over a year now and the church is growing leaps and bounds, largely due to him. He's just great.
J. did all the wrapping this year - only one 'code' error which resulted in me receiving and unwrapping a pair of ski socks which were actually for H. A quick switch resolved the problem. J's a huge help with the wrapping, etc. and I'm so lucky to have such a great helper. I shop; he wraps.
And then, it's Christmas morning. And after stockings, we head downstairs for the grand opening. And it was grand. And the house is full of love and laughter and thanks and hugs all around. Even the boys said 'I love you' TO EACH OTHER as they were unwrapping their gifts from each other. It was a fun morning. In spite of B. having some kind of stomach bug that had him up at 4AM sick to his stomach and required a hasty '5 minute break' from unwrapping this morning while he urped again. But he seems a bit 'better' now.
Santa blessed us with many things - including a Cuisinart Pannini Grill (which I used to cook breakfast - FANTASTIC hash browns!) and Sephora and jjill gift cards for me (can't wait to head to Stoneridge later this week). The boys also received gift cards and cash and golf clubs and a Nintendo Wii which is a blast. J. has been playing tennis, golf and bowling all morning - and while it's not like running a marathon, it is physical activity that does get us up and moving. So it's a good thing. The boys were so surprised and excited. They love Christmas and this year was no exception. Oh, and Santa brought me Season 1 and 2 of Hazel - from my childhood. So fun to watch these shows that I remember watching when I was little. Just hearing the theme song brings back memories.
Chloe got several toys, including a teeny tiny stuffed carrot which excited her so much, she ran laps around the kitchen with it in her mouth. Over and over. Got herself so tired and 'hot' that she walked around panting for quite awhile. She was so excited by her new toys and had a ball running around with us.
During my growing up, we spent Christmas running around everywhere. Christmas Eve at my aunt's house. And most Christmas days driving to or from somewhere. Our Christmases are just us - quiet and fun and 'easy', relatively speaking. A ham dinner is in the oven, sparkling cider waiting. Pumpkin pie in the fridge. It's an easy, quiet day - and I just love it - just spending the day piddling around, mostly in PJs until it's time to finally get dressed for 'dinner'. I love that we just cocoon during Christmas day. Love that we don't have to go anywhere or do anything. Sometimes, I wish for more family nearby - to visit with and spend time with. But on days like today, when we're just enjoying time with each other - and the kids are, miraculously, taking a break from their bickering - it's just the way I like it.
It's time to get dinner cooked - au gratin potatoes and rolls and green bean casserole.
Wii wish you a Merry Christmas!!
Church was lovely. And very crowded. Felt great to see the church 'full' like that and I don't remember last year being anywhere nearly as 'full'. The candlelight was beautiful and the sermon was great. And Pastor K. waited with J. and the kids outside (I was visiting with a friend in the lobby) to be sure he got to say hello to me - which was nice. He's been here just over a year now and the church is growing leaps and bounds, largely due to him. He's just great.
J. did all the wrapping this year - only one 'code' error which resulted in me receiving and unwrapping a pair of ski socks which were actually for H. A quick switch resolved the problem. J's a huge help with the wrapping, etc. and I'm so lucky to have such a great helper. I shop; he wraps.
And then, it's Christmas morning. And after stockings, we head downstairs for the grand opening. And it was grand. And the house is full of love and laughter and thanks and hugs all around. Even the boys said 'I love you' TO EACH OTHER as they were unwrapping their gifts from each other. It was a fun morning. In spite of B. having some kind of stomach bug that had him up at 4AM sick to his stomach and required a hasty '5 minute break' from unwrapping this morning while he urped again. But he seems a bit 'better' now.
Santa blessed us with many things - including a Cuisinart Pannini Grill (which I used to cook breakfast - FANTASTIC hash browns!) and Sephora and jjill gift cards for me (can't wait to head to Stoneridge later this week). The boys also received gift cards and cash and golf clubs and a Nintendo Wii which is a blast. J. has been playing tennis, golf and bowling all morning - and while it's not like running a marathon, it is physical activity that does get us up and moving. So it's a good thing. The boys were so surprised and excited. They love Christmas and this year was no exception. Oh, and Santa brought me Season 1 and 2 of Hazel - from my childhood. So fun to watch these shows that I remember watching when I was little. Just hearing the theme song brings back memories.
Chloe got several toys, including a teeny tiny stuffed carrot which excited her so much, she ran laps around the kitchen with it in her mouth. Over and over. Got herself so tired and 'hot' that she walked around panting for quite awhile. She was so excited by her new toys and had a ball running around with us.
During my growing up, we spent Christmas running around everywhere. Christmas Eve at my aunt's house. And most Christmas days driving to or from somewhere. Our Christmases are just us - quiet and fun and 'easy', relatively speaking. A ham dinner is in the oven, sparkling cider waiting. Pumpkin pie in the fridge. It's an easy, quiet day - and I just love it - just spending the day piddling around, mostly in PJs until it's time to finally get dressed for 'dinner'. I love that we just cocoon during Christmas day. Love that we don't have to go anywhere or do anything. Sometimes, I wish for more family nearby - to visit with and spend time with. But on days like today, when we're just enjoying time with each other - and the kids are, miraculously, taking a break from their bickering - it's just the way I like it.
It's time to get dinner cooked - au gratin potatoes and rolls and green bean casserole.
Wii wish you a Merry Christmas!!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Errands
It's 10:30AM and I'm already done with:
Grocery shopping
Starbucks for Gift Cards (and yes, one iced tea)
Jack in the Box for Gift Cards
Bank for cash moo la
Bakery for pie, blueberry coffee cake, cookies and bear claws.
Was up and moving before sunrise and ready to head out the door around 8:30ish or so. All but the bakery stop were done by 9:30. The bakery didn't open until 10 so I came home, J. helped unload and then I headed back to the bakery. Should have sat in the parking lot for a half hour when I got there at 9:30 because upon return, the cars were lined up and down the street. The line into the shop was out the door and looped inside. Kandie's is pretty darn popular during the holidays and today is pie pick up day. Thankfully, I hadn't ordered but couldn't resist a triple berry pie which they had made 'extra' of. Yummy. And I had to get two more bags of the fantastic Christmas cookies. I can't wait for Easter when she'll make ducks and eggs and chicks! She only opens for the holidays and her baked goods are to die for. Seriously delicious!
J. is using his 'method' and my list and wrapping like a maniac upstairs. Trying diligently to be ahead of the game before we leave for church tonight. To avoid the 1-2AM finish of previous years.
I tried to convince H. that this year, some Santa stuff would be under the tree because Santa wanted our help. He said [very seriously] 'I don't know how it's possible to have Santa stuff under the tree when he hasn't been here yet'. I said 'come on, H.'. He said 'how you and Santa work out the gift thing is between the two of you. But for me, he doesn't arrive before Christmas Eve'. 'Nuf said, I guess. He's 14 and stubborn and still wanting that magic - and I'm 47 1/2 and know exactly how he feels. So no Santa gifts under the tree until Santa's arrival sometime after we return from church, and watch the Santa Clause and have cocoa by the fire. 'Tis the tradition.
Last night, I watched Santa Clause2 on Disney and it was great. The boys weren't interested in watching it with me (party poopers) - they chose instead to watch a 'holiday version' of South Park. Eee gads. What Christmas fare is THAT? So J. watched the SC2 with me until even he'd had enough and headed upstairs for laundry folding. The best part is: I bought Santa Clause 3 at Costco and now can't wait to watch it. Silly? Yes. But cute Christmas movies are my favorite part of the year....and now there's THREE. Thankfully, we won't have to add watching all 3 of them to our traditions, or we'd have to start our Christmas Eve festivities at noon!
Heading into the kitchen to tidy up and plan lunch and dinner today. We headed to In and Out for dinner last night - all of us in the mood for a good hamburger and fries. Tonight, we'll fix something here although at the moment, I have no idea what that will be. Maybe cream of potato soup with cheese, bacon, croutons, etc.
Have a wonderful Christmas Eve!
Grocery shopping
Starbucks for Gift Cards (and yes, one iced tea)
Jack in the Box for Gift Cards
Bank for cash moo la
Bakery for pie, blueberry coffee cake, cookies and bear claws.
Was up and moving before sunrise and ready to head out the door around 8:30ish or so. All but the bakery stop were done by 9:30. The bakery didn't open until 10 so I came home, J. helped unload and then I headed back to the bakery. Should have sat in the parking lot for a half hour when I got there at 9:30 because upon return, the cars were lined up and down the street. The line into the shop was out the door and looped inside. Kandie's is pretty darn popular during the holidays and today is pie pick up day. Thankfully, I hadn't ordered but couldn't resist a triple berry pie which they had made 'extra' of. Yummy. And I had to get two more bags of the fantastic Christmas cookies. I can't wait for Easter when she'll make ducks and eggs and chicks! She only opens for the holidays and her baked goods are to die for. Seriously delicious!
J. is using his 'method' and my list and wrapping like a maniac upstairs. Trying diligently to be ahead of the game before we leave for church tonight. To avoid the 1-2AM finish of previous years.
I tried to convince H. that this year, some Santa stuff would be under the tree because Santa wanted our help. He said [very seriously] 'I don't know how it's possible to have Santa stuff under the tree when he hasn't been here yet'. I said 'come on, H.'. He said 'how you and Santa work out the gift thing is between the two of you. But for me, he doesn't arrive before Christmas Eve'. 'Nuf said, I guess. He's 14 and stubborn and still wanting that magic - and I'm 47 1/2 and know exactly how he feels. So no Santa gifts under the tree until Santa's arrival sometime after we return from church, and watch the Santa Clause and have cocoa by the fire. 'Tis the tradition.
Last night, I watched Santa Clause2 on Disney and it was great. The boys weren't interested in watching it with me (party poopers) - they chose instead to watch a 'holiday version' of South Park. Eee gads. What Christmas fare is THAT? So J. watched the SC2 with me until even he'd had enough and headed upstairs for laundry folding. The best part is: I bought Santa Clause 3 at Costco and now can't wait to watch it. Silly? Yes. But cute Christmas movies are my favorite part of the year....and now there's THREE. Thankfully, we won't have to add watching all 3 of them to our traditions, or we'd have to start our Christmas Eve festivities at noon!
Heading into the kitchen to tidy up and plan lunch and dinner today. We headed to In and Out for dinner last night - all of us in the mood for a good hamburger and fries. Tonight, we'll fix something here although at the moment, I have no idea what that will be. Maybe cream of potato soup with cheese, bacon, croutons, etc.
Have a wonderful Christmas Eve!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Culling
The garage has yielded treasures. Funny how the same things you've seen time and time again somehow become treasured this time around. Including a beautiful silver box from J.'s folks. I polished it and it's just beautiful. I'm using it in the bedroom to hold 'trinkets'. There are so many other silver pieces - serving trays, tea pots, etc. I'm looking for the silver polish you can just dip things into - vs. rubbing and rubbing, ending up with black hands, an assortment of black towels and streaks on my clothes and face from the tarnish.
I've also found 20 year old tax returns (now shredded), several bins of Beanies (they just never completely go away, though it seems like I've been giving them away FOREVER - will be making a donation trip to Shepherd's Gate in Livermore on Wednesday to deliver the beanies, along with a bunch of Bionicles that H. has finally agreed to part with), lots of housewares that I had decided I didn't need but ended up bringing in the house, running them through the dishwasher and they are now safely stored in the baking cupboard under the oven. We've emptied many boxes, bins, etc. There is concrete floor showing now, which has been rare in recent months/years. Progress.
H. has this 'thing'. He doesn't want to part with things. Even though he doesn't play with them anymore - and in some cases, like the Bionicles that are still unopened, he's never played with them - but he hasn't wanted to give them up. I tossed a Chuck E. Cheese bowl full of marbles and he teared up at the thought. Said 'you gave away a part of my childhood'. Yikes, that hurt. He's hard to figure out lately - he's at the age of wanting to be completely left to his own devices yet still gets upset that I'm parting with toys he hasn't played with for years. He shaves, for crying out loud. There's still a huge box of Pokemon cards in the garage that he will not let me give away or toss. He says he wants to sell them - but I point out they're not exactly 'in' anymore and it's unlikely he'll find anyone who wants to buy them. Still, he won't let them go. So on a shelf, they sit. Beckoning to be parted with. Guess I'll have to wait until he goes to college and finally moves into his own home someday and then I'll try to get him to take them with him after a Sunday dinner.
J. made a trip to the library and one of our local thrift shops on Friday. Still more trips to make but we are making progress. All the 'garage sale' items are quickly leaving - and I'm posting the 'like new' gas dryer on Freecycle.org and letting someone have it. Could try to sell it but want it out of the garage ASAP and giving it away will ensure that will happen quickly.
Starting tomorrow (in between last minute shopping, wrapping, grocery shopping, cooking, etc) on closets.
Had a wonderful breakfast with N. on Friday - great fun and nice to see her. Realized I haven't seen her since her wedding - and she cut off TWELVE INCHES of her long hair. Donated it to the folks who make wigs for kids going through chemotherapy. It was great catching up with her and sharing a great meal. We both tried to order oatmeal - for about 30 seconds - and then we ended up eating a full on huge breakfast. It was my lunch AND dinner, so I didn't feel too bad - and it was really good!
Hard to believe that tomorrow is Christmas Eve. The days fly by. It does feel great to be writing this on a late Sunday evening and realizing I still have TWO FULL WEEKS off. Though they will go by quickly and some days are already 'committed' with lunches, a bit of time at work and too many house projects to list. Including culling out the pantry, which is the next big project after the garage is looking better.
Merry Christmas, everyone. Remember: Jesus is the Reason for the Season. We bought a pumpkin pie for Christmas dinner dessert, though I was kind of tempted to bake Jesus a birthday cake. Maybe we'll make a cake later in the week for His continued celebration.
I've also found 20 year old tax returns (now shredded), several bins of Beanies (they just never completely go away, though it seems like I've been giving them away FOREVER - will be making a donation trip to Shepherd's Gate in Livermore on Wednesday to deliver the beanies, along with a bunch of Bionicles that H. has finally agreed to part with), lots of housewares that I had decided I didn't need but ended up bringing in the house, running them through the dishwasher and they are now safely stored in the baking cupboard under the oven. We've emptied many boxes, bins, etc. There is concrete floor showing now, which has been rare in recent months/years. Progress.
H. has this 'thing'. He doesn't want to part with things. Even though he doesn't play with them anymore - and in some cases, like the Bionicles that are still unopened, he's never played with them - but he hasn't wanted to give them up. I tossed a Chuck E. Cheese bowl full of marbles and he teared up at the thought. Said 'you gave away a part of my childhood'. Yikes, that hurt. He's hard to figure out lately - he's at the age of wanting to be completely left to his own devices yet still gets upset that I'm parting with toys he hasn't played with for years. He shaves, for crying out loud. There's still a huge box of Pokemon cards in the garage that he will not let me give away or toss. He says he wants to sell them - but I point out they're not exactly 'in' anymore and it's unlikely he'll find anyone who wants to buy them. Still, he won't let them go. So on a shelf, they sit. Beckoning to be parted with. Guess I'll have to wait until he goes to college and finally moves into his own home someday and then I'll try to get him to take them with him after a Sunday dinner.
J. made a trip to the library and one of our local thrift shops on Friday. Still more trips to make but we are making progress. All the 'garage sale' items are quickly leaving - and I'm posting the 'like new' gas dryer on Freecycle.org and letting someone have it. Could try to sell it but want it out of the garage ASAP and giving it away will ensure that will happen quickly.
Starting tomorrow (in between last minute shopping, wrapping, grocery shopping, cooking, etc) on closets.
Had a wonderful breakfast with N. on Friday - great fun and nice to see her. Realized I haven't seen her since her wedding - and she cut off TWELVE INCHES of her long hair. Donated it to the folks who make wigs for kids going through chemotherapy. It was great catching up with her and sharing a great meal. We both tried to order oatmeal - for about 30 seconds - and then we ended up eating a full on huge breakfast. It was my lunch AND dinner, so I didn't feel too bad - and it was really good!
Hard to believe that tomorrow is Christmas Eve. The days fly by. It does feel great to be writing this on a late Sunday evening and realizing I still have TWO FULL WEEKS off. Though they will go by quickly and some days are already 'committed' with lunches, a bit of time at work and too many house projects to list. Including culling out the pantry, which is the next big project after the garage is looking better.
Merry Christmas, everyone. Remember: Jesus is the Reason for the Season. We bought a pumpkin pie for Christmas dinner dessert, though I was kind of tempted to bake Jesus a birthday cake. Maybe we'll make a cake later in the week for His continued celebration.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Ahhh
Vacation is here! Eighteen glorious days stretched before me. Not a care in the world...
Oh, that's not true. I will need to work at least a day or two during the break..partly because there are a bunch of things I'm late or behind on. And partly because I promised I would spend some of the break working on getting some organizational things shored up - files, binders, etc. So now I'm trying to decide if I will go in tomorrow and/or Friday and 'get it over with' or if I will enjoy a few days off and go back in mid-week next week for a day or two. I honestly can't decide - though I do know that I need to sleep in for a few days to get caught up on sleep. And since I've made lunch plans tomorrow, tomorrow is out. So it is likely I will go in mid to late next week and get everything done so I can then be off through the 6th.
We have no set plans. The boys want to go snowboarding again. We'd like to get into the city for one day. We plan to attend Christmas eve services and have a quiet Christmas at home. Other than that, we have no commitments, no plans.
We are starting to work on the garage tomorrow. I am determined and am biting the bullet and not 'saving' things for the garage sale we never have. J. is also home starting tomorrow and we have a lot of wrapping to do.
H. just arrived home having fallen on his skateboard and landing on his face. He had no helmet on - which is another issue entirely, since he knows he HAS TO wear a helmet - so I am thankful he did not hit his head. Judging by the cuts and bruises on his face and the fatness of his top lip, he is lucky his head was spared the trauma or we'd be on our way to the ER about now, praying it was just a concussion. He is 'fine' though swollen and angst filled. The fact he is lucky and didn't break anything - his nose or a wrist or arm - doesn't enter his mind. His only concern is 'when will my face be back to normal'? His appearance is the most important thing. The ladies, you know....
The two boys are in the middle of 'finals week' and stress abounds. But they arrive home daily and hit the books and both assure us the grades will reflect their diligence. I hope they are right. H. has been restricted since forever, it seems - and we hope to lighten up a bit if the next report card shows improvement.
May blog more, may blog less over the break. Hard to say. Have so many 'things to do' that I want to accomplish - and on the other hand, have many posts swirling around in my head...so we'll see.
I am heading upstairs shortly for a wonderful night's sleep, and a great 'sleeping in' tomorrow. Hopefully, J. will agree to be up at 7 to ensure the boys leave the house 'on time'. He probably will - he's great about that! (hint, hint).
Oh, that's not true. I will need to work at least a day or two during the break..partly because there are a bunch of things I'm late or behind on. And partly because I promised I would spend some of the break working on getting some organizational things shored up - files, binders, etc. So now I'm trying to decide if I will go in tomorrow and/or Friday and 'get it over with' or if I will enjoy a few days off and go back in mid-week next week for a day or two. I honestly can't decide - though I do know that I need to sleep in for a few days to get caught up on sleep. And since I've made lunch plans tomorrow, tomorrow is out. So it is likely I will go in mid to late next week and get everything done so I can then be off through the 6th.
We have no set plans. The boys want to go snowboarding again. We'd like to get into the city for one day. We plan to attend Christmas eve services and have a quiet Christmas at home. Other than that, we have no commitments, no plans.
We are starting to work on the garage tomorrow. I am determined and am biting the bullet and not 'saving' things for the garage sale we never have. J. is also home starting tomorrow and we have a lot of wrapping to do.
H. just arrived home having fallen on his skateboard and landing on his face. He had no helmet on - which is another issue entirely, since he knows he HAS TO wear a helmet - so I am thankful he did not hit his head. Judging by the cuts and bruises on his face and the fatness of his top lip, he is lucky his head was spared the trauma or we'd be on our way to the ER about now, praying it was just a concussion. He is 'fine' though swollen and angst filled. The fact he is lucky and didn't break anything - his nose or a wrist or arm - doesn't enter his mind. His only concern is 'when will my face be back to normal'? His appearance is the most important thing. The ladies, you know....
The two boys are in the middle of 'finals week' and stress abounds. But they arrive home daily and hit the books and both assure us the grades will reflect their diligence. I hope they are right. H. has been restricted since forever, it seems - and we hope to lighten up a bit if the next report card shows improvement.
May blog more, may blog less over the break. Hard to say. Have so many 'things to do' that I want to accomplish - and on the other hand, have many posts swirling around in my head...so we'll see.
I am heading upstairs shortly for a wonderful night's sleep, and a great 'sleeping in' tomorrow. Hopefully, J. will agree to be up at 7 to ensure the boys leave the house 'on time'. He probably will - he's great about that! (hint, hint).
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Dan
Dan Fogelberg died this morning at ~6AM EST. I hadn't heard a thing - if news doesn't make the top three teasers on Yahoo, I won't hear about it. And sadly, I did not know he had died until J. returned from the slopes and said 'I'm sure you heard about Dan Fogelberg'.
It's probably a good thing I did not know because I would have spent the entire day immersed in his music, mourning. To say I am a fan is putting it mildly. I have never missed an opportunity to see him in concert, including going multiple times within months of each other in my college days. I also had the distinct pleasure of front row seats for a solo acoustic show at the intimate Berkeley Community Theater some time back. Amazing show. Close enough to watch all the fret work and strumming. Not too mention see his eyes. Oh, those eyes.
I discovered his music in 8th grade - the coolest history teacher at the school played his music all the time so of course, I had to take his history class. I learned to play most of his songs on the guitar and practiced his technique for hours. His songs are intricate and beautiful and hauntingly, achingly heartfelt. I have listened to his songs through falling in love, falling out of love, grieving the serious illness of loved ones, raising kids, finding myself and my voice.
He died of prostate cancer, which saddens me deeply because if caught early, it is highly curable. Probably too busy touring, too busy writing, he perhaps failed to get checked annually and the disease was advanced by the time it was discovered a few years ago. He retreated to his family and acknowledged on his website he had no intentions of touring or recording anytime soon. His voice has been silent the past few years and those who love him had already begun to feel the pain of missing him.
Tomorrow, I will take some CDs to work and listen. And probably fight tears. His music will always be a part of my soul....and in my heart. It makes me thankful for my voice and my musical gift. It makes me grateful God put people on this earth that can so brilliantly write songs that make you think and make you hurt and love and feel joy all at the same time.
Rest in peace, Dan. Thank you for all the joy you brought to my life. Thank you for saying so many things I could never find words for - until I heard it in a song - your songs. You are loved and will be missed - and your music will live on in many hearts around the world.
I've had this feeling so steady and strong
I'm feeling so holy and humble.
The next thing I know, I'm all worried and weak
I feel myself starting to crumble.
The meanings get lost and the teachings get tossed
And you don't know what you're gonna do next.
The days miss their mark and the nights get so dark.
And some kind of message comes through to you.
Some kind of message comes through...and it says to you:
Love when you can, cry when you have to.
Be who you must, that's a part of the plan.
Await your arrival with simple survival
Someday we'll all understand.
Someday we'll all understand.
Someday we'll all understand.
Part of the Plan
by Dan Fogelberg
It's probably a good thing I did not know because I would have spent the entire day immersed in his music, mourning. To say I am a fan is putting it mildly. I have never missed an opportunity to see him in concert, including going multiple times within months of each other in my college days. I also had the distinct pleasure of front row seats for a solo acoustic show at the intimate Berkeley Community Theater some time back. Amazing show. Close enough to watch all the fret work and strumming. Not too mention see his eyes. Oh, those eyes.
I discovered his music in 8th grade - the coolest history teacher at the school played his music all the time so of course, I had to take his history class. I learned to play most of his songs on the guitar and practiced his technique for hours. His songs are intricate and beautiful and hauntingly, achingly heartfelt. I have listened to his songs through falling in love, falling out of love, grieving the serious illness of loved ones, raising kids, finding myself and my voice.
He died of prostate cancer, which saddens me deeply because if caught early, it is highly curable. Probably too busy touring, too busy writing, he perhaps failed to get checked annually and the disease was advanced by the time it was discovered a few years ago. He retreated to his family and acknowledged on his website he had no intentions of touring or recording anytime soon. His voice has been silent the past few years and those who love him had already begun to feel the pain of missing him.
Tomorrow, I will take some CDs to work and listen. And probably fight tears. His music will always be a part of my soul....and in my heart. It makes me thankful for my voice and my musical gift. It makes me grateful God put people on this earth that can so brilliantly write songs that make you think and make you hurt and love and feel joy all at the same time.
Rest in peace, Dan. Thank you for all the joy you brought to my life. Thank you for saying so many things I could never find words for - until I heard it in a song - your songs. You are loved and will be missed - and your music will live on in many hearts around the world.
I've had this feeling so steady and strong
I'm feeling so holy and humble.
The next thing I know, I'm all worried and weak
I feel myself starting to crumble.
The meanings get lost and the teachings get tossed
And you don't know what you're gonna do next.
The days miss their mark and the nights get so dark.
And some kind of message comes through to you.
Some kind of message comes through...and it says to you:
Love when you can, cry when you have to.
Be who you must, that's a part of the plan.
Await your arrival with simple survival
Someday we'll all understand.
Someday we'll all understand.
Someday we'll all understand.
Part of the Plan
by Dan Fogelberg
Pragmatic
H. has been expressing to J. his thoughts on considering joining our armed forces after high school. I think he knows better than to bring this possibility up to me, lest my head spin off my neck and launch off my body at the thought.
I wish I was the kind of mom who could be happy her son wants to defend our country - but for that to be true, we'd have to be a country that only goes to war to defend ourselves. Sadly, however, this is not the case. We go to war because we can. We are at war because one person convinced an entire nation a threat existed. It did not. It does not. I can't support my son agreeing to risk his life for that. That, to me, is not worth fighting for. And I support the troops - they are doing their job - a job they signed on to do long before it was realized they'd be risking their lives to do it in a war created by a nincompoop. And that's what I'm trying to get across to H. (via J.) - this isn't a job where you go to work everyday and do something incredibly boring - like twirling a sign on a street corner full time. Serving in the military is a job where you can die. You can be sent somewhere to fight, against another nation of people who aren't sure how they ended up at war - and people will die. You might be one of them. Is that something you really want to do for a living?
I wish we were the country that only fought for things I could support going to war for. I have a lot of sad feelings that I live in this privileged country and feel no 'warm and fuzzy' feelings toward our current leadership. I feel sorry for those men and women who fight everyday - and I don't know what we're fighting for. I'm tired of being the country that goes in trying to 'fix' every other country's issues. Why are we the ones having to 'save the world'?
The world is worth saving. When the Nazi's were in power and killing millions of innocent people, THAT I can support. But this current escapade? No. I cannot. Which doesn't mean I don't support the troops - they are doing their job. But it does mean I can shake my head emphatically at the mere mention of one of my sons entering the armed forces. NO is all I hear in my head at that thought.
There's a part of me that's proud that he thinks he might want to join. He'd be stunning in his dress uniform and I would be so proud of him. But I'm his mother and I know him well enough to know that he perceives war like a video game - the bullets and blood aren't real. And I know that if he joined and were sent to war, there would be a moment when he would realize 'I don't want to be here'. And he'd be stuck there. And I'd be stuck here, frantic with worry unlike any other worry I've ever known as a mom - and there's been plenty of worry in raising kids as any parent can attest to.
He talks about doing a lot of things I'd rather he didn't - like getting a motorcycle and a bunch of tattoos. I'd say 'ok' to all those other things to prevent him from joining the military. I'd rather him risk bodily harm on a motorcycle and never have any kind of 'regular' job (though he'd be perfect for working at Zumiez) than have him agree to go to war whenever the Commander in Chief says to go. But J., don't tell him that. Yet. But if he's about to enlist, you have my permission to authorize motorcycles, tattoos and even body piercings if it will keep him here with us. Check with me first, so I'll know you're upping the ante. But I'd support anything that will keep him a non-military man.
I wish I was the kind of mom who could be happy her son wants to defend our country - but for that to be true, we'd have to be a country that only goes to war to defend ourselves. Sadly, however, this is not the case. We go to war because we can. We are at war because one person convinced an entire nation a threat existed. It did not. It does not. I can't support my son agreeing to risk his life for that. That, to me, is not worth fighting for. And I support the troops - they are doing their job - a job they signed on to do long before it was realized they'd be risking their lives to do it in a war created by a nincompoop. And that's what I'm trying to get across to H. (via J.) - this isn't a job where you go to work everyday and do something incredibly boring - like twirling a sign on a street corner full time. Serving in the military is a job where you can die. You can be sent somewhere to fight, against another nation of people who aren't sure how they ended up at war - and people will die. You might be one of them. Is that something you really want to do for a living?
I wish we were the country that only fought for things I could support going to war for. I have a lot of sad feelings that I live in this privileged country and feel no 'warm and fuzzy' feelings toward our current leadership. I feel sorry for those men and women who fight everyday - and I don't know what we're fighting for. I'm tired of being the country that goes in trying to 'fix' every other country's issues. Why are we the ones having to 'save the world'?
The world is worth saving. When the Nazi's were in power and killing millions of innocent people, THAT I can support. But this current escapade? No. I cannot. Which doesn't mean I don't support the troops - they are doing their job. But it does mean I can shake my head emphatically at the mere mention of one of my sons entering the armed forces. NO is all I hear in my head at that thought.
There's a part of me that's proud that he thinks he might want to join. He'd be stunning in his dress uniform and I would be so proud of him. But I'm his mother and I know him well enough to know that he perceives war like a video game - the bullets and blood aren't real. And I know that if he joined and were sent to war, there would be a moment when he would realize 'I don't want to be here'. And he'd be stuck there. And I'd be stuck here, frantic with worry unlike any other worry I've ever known as a mom - and there's been plenty of worry in raising kids as any parent can attest to.
He talks about doing a lot of things I'd rather he didn't - like getting a motorcycle and a bunch of tattoos. I'd say 'ok' to all those other things to prevent him from joining the military. I'd rather him risk bodily harm on a motorcycle and never have any kind of 'regular' job (though he'd be perfect for working at Zumiez) than have him agree to go to war whenever the Commander in Chief says to go. But J., don't tell him that. Yet. But if he's about to enlist, you have my permission to authorize motorcycles, tattoos and even body piercings if it will keep him here with us. Check with me first, so I'll know you're upping the ante. But I'd support anything that will keep him a non-military man.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Play Date
J. and I are taking a day off together. No firm plans other than getting the Christmas decorations down from the garage rafters, doing a little shopping, maybe having lunch out and going with the boys after school to buy our Christmas tree. We will spray flame retardant on it and let it dry overnight and then will work on decorating tomorrow. We are a bit 'behind' on the festiveness quotient for the house. Just haven't had much free weekend time to get stuff done. But this weekend is IT. We have to get a tree and make it look like Christmas around here. We're debating about putting up the outdoor decorations - with our electric bill so high already, I hesitate to add more power drain to it. But it's Christmas and we always put up yard decorations and some lights at least around the garage doors. We'll have to do something. I don't like the house un-decorated.
[Update]....we had lunch at Costco. We purchased some clothing and toy items for the little girl I'm buying gifts for. Instead of buying gifts for each other at work, we adopt a family - we each shop for one person in the family and then donate money for groceries. My family member was a little girl so I had a lot of fun picking things out for her. A pair of jeans, a fleecy sweater and a nice jacket/vest combo. Will look for a pair of shoes at Target later this weekend. We also visited Kandi's Pastries and stocked up on the fantastic iced Christmas cookies. Got some other gift items. Have to get packages ready to mail to various family members across the country - another weekend project for the list.
J. is taking the boys snowboarding on Sunday so I'll have time to run some errands alone (to get a couple things for J. that I couldn't get when he was with me today).
I cut my hair off - not completely. But took off 3-4 inches. It's about at my shoulders now and I feel 'strange' without it. But I'm ready to shake things up a bit and shorter hair will be much easier to manage. And it's still long enough to pin up, etc. when I'm too hurried to curl it. It looks instantly thicker - which it's not. But the loss of length has added 'depth' and I like that. Though I still kind of feel shocked when I look in the mirror. In 4 weeks, I'll probably go a couple inches shorter. That'll be it for now.
I was inducted into the Tracy Tank Town Lions last night - the ceremony was nice. Good food, good people. I am honored to be a TTT Lion - and glad to feel like I finally have some 'time' in my life to participate in a community service organization.
I'm heading upstairs for a long winter's nap. Tree procurement and decorating will commence upon my awakening. You've been warned.
[Update]....we had lunch at Costco. We purchased some clothing and toy items for the little girl I'm buying gifts for. Instead of buying gifts for each other at work, we adopt a family - we each shop for one person in the family and then donate money for groceries. My family member was a little girl so I had a lot of fun picking things out for her. A pair of jeans, a fleecy sweater and a nice jacket/vest combo. Will look for a pair of shoes at Target later this weekend. We also visited Kandi's Pastries and stocked up on the fantastic iced Christmas cookies. Got some other gift items. Have to get packages ready to mail to various family members across the country - another weekend project for the list.
J. is taking the boys snowboarding on Sunday so I'll have time to run some errands alone (to get a couple things for J. that I couldn't get when he was with me today).
I cut my hair off - not completely. But took off 3-4 inches. It's about at my shoulders now and I feel 'strange' without it. But I'm ready to shake things up a bit and shorter hair will be much easier to manage. And it's still long enough to pin up, etc. when I'm too hurried to curl it. It looks instantly thicker - which it's not. But the loss of length has added 'depth' and I like that. Though I still kind of feel shocked when I look in the mirror. In 4 weeks, I'll probably go a couple inches shorter. That'll be it for now.
I was inducted into the Tracy Tank Town Lions last night - the ceremony was nice. Good food, good people. I am honored to be a TTT Lion - and glad to feel like I finally have some 'time' in my life to participate in a community service organization.
I'm heading upstairs for a long winter's nap. Tree procurement and decorating will commence upon my awakening. You've been warned.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Simplification
Things are extremely complicated at the moment in my life - just in general, really. At least that's how I'm feeling. Nothing direly earth shattering. Still have my health (relatively speaking, though it's been a difficult two weeks - pain is a hard thing but it has passed. Literally and figuratively, it seems, since I feel much 'better'). Just 'stuff'. It's the holidays and work and the never ending hustle and bustle which has me putting on the brakes, trying to regroup a bit. I have been saying, for months and months 'just make it to the winter break'. And I'm on the downhill side of that goal and know it's just around the corner. I greet it with much trepidation because a) I know it will be over in the blink of an eye and b) if I don't start feeling more positive about my job when I'm back - if the 'fresh start' and 'new day dawning' doesn't help shift my mind into 'it's OK here, I'm fine', I will be in the same dark, dreary place I've been in for weeks. SO we'll see about that.
Mostly, it gets me thinking again at simplifying - as much as possible. So here is a list of things I'm working on doing to make my life easier. And I admit - my life is great...so these are just 'things' that I hope will help me - not that they will assist anyone else.
First, I'm writing letters to a bunch of magazines and cancelling our subscriptions. Example: I get Gourmet magazine, which as anyone who knows me will tell you is a joke. I ordered it after seeing one recipe in it while waiting for a Dr. appointment - and the 'teaser' offer was only $10 for a full year. What a bargain. But now, I get it every month and it's just another magazine I don't have time to read and don't plan to use any information from anytime soon. And it stares at me, piling up on my desk, and makes me feel guilty for not reading it cover to cover. Same with various financial magazines - Kiplingers, Money, Fortune, etc. I get them all, I read a lot of them - but I don't need all 3. They pretty much 'rotate' the content and one year of one of them would give me the same info. So I'll cancel two of them. I also get Working Mother, which I am, still. But my kids are older and I never found the helpful hints particularly helpful when my kids were small and that remains true today.
I will keep Vanity Fair (a monthly guilty pleasure that I would really miss), Real Simple (it isn't helping but I like reading it) and People. Sadly, I'm not really liking People these days - the stories are too short, leave so many unanswered questions - but I've read every edition of People since it first came out. It was sixty nine cents each week and I couldn't wait to take my allowance to the grocery store weekly to pick up a copy. When they offered subscriptions, I resisted - it was a lot of money to shell out all at once, when finding a dollar and some change weekly seemed do-able. But my mom bought me a subscription one year for Christmas and then made it an annual gift for me and J. (who doesn't read it - but my mom was frugal and it was a lot of $$ from her gift budget so we agreed it would count towards his gift, as well. He never minded), and I've renewed it annually since she's been gone. I don't really even like it anymore - I can read it cover to cover in only a 1/2 hour and I used to be able to read a bit every night, for the full week until another one arrived. But I keep it for sentimental value, really.
Everything else must go. I can't handle the guilt from not reading them...the guilt from all the trees being killed to print them, etc.
I also signed up for catalogchoice.org and am culling out the catalogs I receive as well. It takes some time to set up the preferences and enter the customer numbers, etc. but if it works, I should see a significant decrease in the printed materials coming through the mail. It's pretty bad when you have an entire two sided, two shelves cabinet in your office devoted to catalogs. That's a lot of paper. And keeping up with 'culling out' the older versions and replacing them with the newer 'because you never know when you're going to really need some silly thing you didn't know existed before you saw it in a catalog' takes huge amounts of time - time I don't have and time I want to use for other things. Like sleeping, for example. Or cooking. So hey, maybe I should rethink giving up my subscription to Gourmet Magazine?? I might make 'Haricots Verts with Herb Butter' (November, 2007) or 'Zhug' (December, 2007). You never know. Could happen. Maybe I should reinstate my 'Chefs' catalog, too. Just in case.
Mostly, it gets me thinking again at simplifying - as much as possible. So here is a list of things I'm working on doing to make my life easier. And I admit - my life is great...so these are just 'things' that I hope will help me - not that they will assist anyone else.
First, I'm writing letters to a bunch of magazines and cancelling our subscriptions. Example: I get Gourmet magazine, which as anyone who knows me will tell you is a joke. I ordered it after seeing one recipe in it while waiting for a Dr. appointment - and the 'teaser' offer was only $10 for a full year. What a bargain. But now, I get it every month and it's just another magazine I don't have time to read and don't plan to use any information from anytime soon. And it stares at me, piling up on my desk, and makes me feel guilty for not reading it cover to cover. Same with various financial magazines - Kiplingers, Money, Fortune, etc. I get them all, I read a lot of them - but I don't need all 3. They pretty much 'rotate' the content and one year of one of them would give me the same info. So I'll cancel two of them. I also get Working Mother, which I am, still. But my kids are older and I never found the helpful hints particularly helpful when my kids were small and that remains true today.
I will keep Vanity Fair (a monthly guilty pleasure that I would really miss), Real Simple (it isn't helping but I like reading it) and People. Sadly, I'm not really liking People these days - the stories are too short, leave so many unanswered questions - but I've read every edition of People since it first came out. It was sixty nine cents each week and I couldn't wait to take my allowance to the grocery store weekly to pick up a copy. When they offered subscriptions, I resisted - it was a lot of money to shell out all at once, when finding a dollar and some change weekly seemed do-able. But my mom bought me a subscription one year for Christmas and then made it an annual gift for me and J. (who doesn't read it - but my mom was frugal and it was a lot of $$ from her gift budget so we agreed it would count towards his gift, as well. He never minded), and I've renewed it annually since she's been gone. I don't really even like it anymore - I can read it cover to cover in only a 1/2 hour and I used to be able to read a bit every night, for the full week until another one arrived. But I keep it for sentimental value, really.
Everything else must go. I can't handle the guilt from not reading them...the guilt from all the trees being killed to print them, etc.
I also signed up for catalogchoice.org and am culling out the catalogs I receive as well. It takes some time to set up the preferences and enter the customer numbers, etc. but if it works, I should see a significant decrease in the printed materials coming through the mail. It's pretty bad when you have an entire two sided, two shelves cabinet in your office devoted to catalogs. That's a lot of paper. And keeping up with 'culling out' the older versions and replacing them with the newer 'because you never know when you're going to really need some silly thing you didn't know existed before you saw it in a catalog' takes huge amounts of time - time I don't have and time I want to use for other things. Like sleeping, for example. Or cooking. So hey, maybe I should rethink giving up my subscription to Gourmet Magazine?? I might make 'Haricots Verts with Herb Butter' (November, 2007) or 'Zhug' (December, 2007). You never know. Could happen. Maybe I should reinstate my 'Chefs' catalog, too. Just in case.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Stoned
J. has suffered through kidney stones many times. He's had to endure the 'sonic bathtub' treatment to blast them to bits - and passed many over the years. B. actually had one, too, already, in his young life. And now it's my turn. I've had twinges and aches for some time - and thought in the back of my mind 'I think something's not right with my kidneys'. And this week, it was confirmed ten-fold. A pain that awakened me Tuesday and Wednesday night was horrifically bad by Thursday morning and finally forced me to find a doctor in town. Diagnosis: kidney stone(s) passing. Or trying to pass, since I'm still in a world of hurt. I'm supposed to drink a ton of liquids...but drinking liquids leads to pain. Huge pain. So I'm drinking and medicating and sleeping. Had always thought Vicodin didn't really work for me - but it is. I take two and it does the trick. And then I sleep for hours. And wake up still sleepy.
It has been 'pleasant' to have a reason to lie around in bed and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer - from Season 1 forward. I only started watching the show in the late 4th season so it's been fun to see it from the beginning - the full show set was a Christmas gift from J. a year (or two?) ago.
I was out sick 1/2 day yesterday and all day today and I will have to work this weekend because I have huge reports and deadlines looming that I must complete as early in this upcoming week as possible. I'll go in tomorrow for a bit and if I'm feeling bad, I'll haul stuff home, along with my work laptop and work at home. It will be OK. I'll get done what I can. If I'm not feeling better by Monday, I am to go back and the Dr. will order a scan to see what we're dealing with. It hurts like the dickens and I have a new respect for J. enduring this multiple times in his life. It's unpleasant, to say the least.
One son is staying over at a friend's house. The other is wanting to have someone over, which I'm just not up for. He is displeased. Oh well. He usually is, since that's a key job description component of an almost 17 year old.
I'm heading upstairs to continue my self-designed Buffy marathon and take some pain meds (drank a ton of water and apple juice with dinner and now the pain is back to my right side, where it started. Instead of moving to my back, which it had done as of this morning - so now I'm a bit worried that we're sort of 'starting over' in the path of the stone. It was supposed to move to the back and then out. But it's back where it started. Bugger). Probably just more stones moving out of the kidneys. Fun. That's certainly something to look forward to.
It has been 'pleasant' to have a reason to lie around in bed and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer - from Season 1 forward. I only started watching the show in the late 4th season so it's been fun to see it from the beginning - the full show set was a Christmas gift from J. a year (or two?) ago.
I was out sick 1/2 day yesterday and all day today and I will have to work this weekend because I have huge reports and deadlines looming that I must complete as early in this upcoming week as possible. I'll go in tomorrow for a bit and if I'm feeling bad, I'll haul stuff home, along with my work laptop and work at home. It will be OK. I'll get done what I can. If I'm not feeling better by Monday, I am to go back and the Dr. will order a scan to see what we're dealing with. It hurts like the dickens and I have a new respect for J. enduring this multiple times in his life. It's unpleasant, to say the least.
One son is staying over at a friend's house. The other is wanting to have someone over, which I'm just not up for. He is displeased. Oh well. He usually is, since that's a key job description component of an almost 17 year old.
I'm heading upstairs to continue my self-designed Buffy marathon and take some pain meds (drank a ton of water and apple juice with dinner and now the pain is back to my right side, where it started. Instead of moving to my back, which it had done as of this morning - so now I'm a bit worried that we're sort of 'starting over' in the path of the stone. It was supposed to move to the back and then out. But it's back where it started. Bugger). Probably just more stones moving out of the kidneys. Fun. That's certainly something to look forward to.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Sleep-ity
[It's hard picking a title].
It has been a very stressful week. Weeks, actually. Things have been horribly hard. All things.
I have been here before. I will be here again. I know this state - this frantically frantic, full of woe and worry state of being. I try to shake it. I cannot. Nothing works. Nothing.
Today the gloom lifted just the teeniest, tiniest tad. And I am putting my recovery plan in action: I am getting pleasantly inebriated on some good wine and as soon as the effect of that wine hits, I will head upstairs to bed. The alcoholic cocktail will work it's magic and I will hopefully have a good night's sleep.
Sleep cures many of my issues. I have been sleep deprived all my life and when I reach this point, I just need to own it and sleep. Even if it takes some 'inducement' to get me into a decent slumber. I don't feel the least bit bad about it and it's a rare event that I have a glass of anything with dinner. But tonight, after these long, frantic weeks of lows, I need it. I need sleep. It will be so much better tomorrow after some rest. I know it. I've known this all my life - for me, sleep cures a zillion ills. It's just even harder as I've aged to get my body to shut down.
I grew up sharing a cabin most weekends with anywhere from 3 to 40 people. We slept on a screened porch at one of two cabins - one on the beach, one in the mountains. There was never any privacy. Many, MANY noises and sounds - and I never slept well. My mother took me to our beach cabin the weekend after I'd had my tonsils out - at the age of 19. Incredibly painful and exhausting - and there I was in a 'house' with 20 other people. Her concession to my lack of enthusiasm for going was to ask our 'aunt and uncle' to use their cabin up the hill - so I slept there alone. And was grateful for the sleep. I still remember that feeling of relief when she finally conceded that perhaps asking me to attempt to sleep well in that environment was a bit much. It was one of the first times I remember ever speaking up to her about something I wasn't OK with. And she took care of it. Barely. But she did.
I've been a light sleeper my entire life. It continues and magnifies as I've aged. I just can't shut my brain off. And any noise - a motorcycle starting up; the heater coming on [yes, I finally turned on the heat 'cuz we were all freezing] - anything wakes me. And once I'm awake, I can't get back to sleep. This morning, I was awake at 2. Finally just got up at 4. Was at my desk by 6. And even now, at 7PM, if it weren't for the wine, I don't think I'd feel sleepy.
But with wine, I do. And with wine, I will. Just for tonight. One decent night's sleep will renew me for the next day/week/month. Sleep is my cure-all.
I'm hoping it works. If a good night's sleep doesn't restore me, I don't know what I will do.
And Bug, thanks for listening today. You are the most amazing person - I just can't say how grateful I am for your honesty, humor, and friendship. You amaze me everyday. And I miss you more than I can say.
It has been a very stressful week. Weeks, actually. Things have been horribly hard. All things.
I have been here before. I will be here again. I know this state - this frantically frantic, full of woe and worry state of being. I try to shake it. I cannot. Nothing works. Nothing.
Today the gloom lifted just the teeniest, tiniest tad. And I am putting my recovery plan in action: I am getting pleasantly inebriated on some good wine and as soon as the effect of that wine hits, I will head upstairs to bed. The alcoholic cocktail will work it's magic and I will hopefully have a good night's sleep.
Sleep cures many of my issues. I have been sleep deprived all my life and when I reach this point, I just need to own it and sleep. Even if it takes some 'inducement' to get me into a decent slumber. I don't feel the least bit bad about it and it's a rare event that I have a glass of anything with dinner. But tonight, after these long, frantic weeks of lows, I need it. I need sleep. It will be so much better tomorrow after some rest. I know it. I've known this all my life - for me, sleep cures a zillion ills. It's just even harder as I've aged to get my body to shut down.
I grew up sharing a cabin most weekends with anywhere from 3 to 40 people. We slept on a screened porch at one of two cabins - one on the beach, one in the mountains. There was never any privacy. Many, MANY noises and sounds - and I never slept well. My mother took me to our beach cabin the weekend after I'd had my tonsils out - at the age of 19. Incredibly painful and exhausting - and there I was in a 'house' with 20 other people. Her concession to my lack of enthusiasm for going was to ask our 'aunt and uncle' to use their cabin up the hill - so I slept there alone. And was grateful for the sleep. I still remember that feeling of relief when she finally conceded that perhaps asking me to attempt to sleep well in that environment was a bit much. It was one of the first times I remember ever speaking up to her about something I wasn't OK with. And she took care of it. Barely. But she did.
I've been a light sleeper my entire life. It continues and magnifies as I've aged. I just can't shut my brain off. And any noise - a motorcycle starting up; the heater coming on [yes, I finally turned on the heat 'cuz we were all freezing] - anything wakes me. And once I'm awake, I can't get back to sleep. This morning, I was awake at 2. Finally just got up at 4. Was at my desk by 6. And even now, at 7PM, if it weren't for the wine, I don't think I'd feel sleepy.
But with wine, I do. And with wine, I will. Just for tonight. One decent night's sleep will renew me for the next day/week/month. Sleep is my cure-all.
I'm hoping it works. If a good night's sleep doesn't restore me, I don't know what I will do.
And Bug, thanks for listening today. You are the most amazing person - I just can't say how grateful I am for your honesty, humor, and friendship. You amaze me everyday. And I miss you more than I can say.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Winner?
The lottery drawing for tonight is in about 20 minutes and the jackpot is $43M. I am sitting here with my co-author Chloe in my lap wishing/praying/hoping that we could, please oh please, possibly win that jackpot? Wouldn't that be fab? Yes, it would. I dream about all the great things we could do with that money - the people we could help. The lives we could change. And of course, I dream of quitting my job and J. quitting his immediately. Oh to dream. There's always hope - every Wednesday and every Saturday, there is new hope. And possibilities. And it's OK if we don't win - we don't, haven't and probably won't and yet, I still dream. And wish and hope.
Chloe is asleep on my lap. When I'm not typing, she tucks her snout into the crook of my elbow, shielding her eyes from view. Our laps is now one of her favorite places in the evening - her fur is apparently not quite warm enough and she needs some snuggling. She's a busy, busy girl all day long and can't wait to conk out in our laps every evening after dinner. Every once in a while, she lets out a teeny 'bark' or a growl. Which scares me to death since I'm in the house alone and I can't imagine what she's hearing that I don't hear.
J. and the boys went to the movies. Some gangster movie. Not exactly Christmas fare. I want to see Enchanted - no interest. Maybe next weekend I'll just take myself.
We're pretty much done with Christmas shopping except for extended family. J. was with me today and talked me out of buying a stove top nut glazer - which would have cost $30 plus $4 for each bottle of glaze. He said 'if you want glazed nuts, by a jar of them'. And he's right. No point in buying some gadget that we will rarely use and if we do use it, will create way too many sweet/fattening things that are hard to resist. So I bought some toffee cashews instead and skipped the 'Christmas' gift for myself. I don't need it. I don't really even want it that much - but I did want glazed nuts 'cuz I love them....but I had some so I'm good.
The boys are spoiled rotten again this Christmas, already. And J. reminded me to be sure I'm keeping all of our purchases written down so we don't forget about them and don't forget how much we've (already) spent and what we have to wrap. It all adds up very quickly and I tend to get carried away in the moment and can't wait to spoil them. Surprise them. Make the morning as magical as humanly possible. The 'wow' factor is very important to me and I work hard at surprising them every year. This year will be no exception.
I did not work this weekend - at least not so far. I should work. Need to work. Have a gazillion things to do that I should be taking care of. But I'm in the office all this next week with very few meetings and I think I can just plow away throughout the week, into the early evenings, if needed - and/or work next weekend if needed and just enjoy the long weekend. Only one day left.....
Chloe is getting restless - time to go outside for a few minutes in the freezing cold and try to cajole her into doing her business. She likes to sniff and explore every square inch of the lawn, as if she's never been there before, in order to find just the perfect place to take care of her business. Nothing deters her from this 'routine'. And it requires us being with her - she will not go out alone, or she will but if there's no one to remind her why she's out there, she will return inside only to piddle on the floor moments later. So we take her out and try to encourage her to do it fast! She's getting better - she's had just a couple accidents the past week and those were our fault for not paying attention to her pleas for going out. We're working on it.
Chloe is asleep on my lap. When I'm not typing, she tucks her snout into the crook of my elbow, shielding her eyes from view. Our laps is now one of her favorite places in the evening - her fur is apparently not quite warm enough and she needs some snuggling. She's a busy, busy girl all day long and can't wait to conk out in our laps every evening after dinner. Every once in a while, she lets out a teeny 'bark' or a growl. Which scares me to death since I'm in the house alone and I can't imagine what she's hearing that I don't hear.
J. and the boys went to the movies. Some gangster movie. Not exactly Christmas fare. I want to see Enchanted - no interest. Maybe next weekend I'll just take myself.
We're pretty much done with Christmas shopping except for extended family. J. was with me today and talked me out of buying a stove top nut glazer - which would have cost $30 plus $4 for each bottle of glaze. He said 'if you want glazed nuts, by a jar of them'. And he's right. No point in buying some gadget that we will rarely use and if we do use it, will create way too many sweet/fattening things that are hard to resist. So I bought some toffee cashews instead and skipped the 'Christmas' gift for myself. I don't need it. I don't really even want it that much - but I did want glazed nuts 'cuz I love them....but I had some so I'm good.
The boys are spoiled rotten again this Christmas, already. And J. reminded me to be sure I'm keeping all of our purchases written down so we don't forget about them and don't forget how much we've (already) spent and what we have to wrap. It all adds up very quickly and I tend to get carried away in the moment and can't wait to spoil them. Surprise them. Make the morning as magical as humanly possible. The 'wow' factor is very important to me and I work hard at surprising them every year. This year will be no exception.
I did not work this weekend - at least not so far. I should work. Need to work. Have a gazillion things to do that I should be taking care of. But I'm in the office all this next week with very few meetings and I think I can just plow away throughout the week, into the early evenings, if needed - and/or work next weekend if needed and just enjoy the long weekend. Only one day left.....
Chloe is getting restless - time to go outside for a few minutes in the freezing cold and try to cajole her into doing her business. She likes to sniff and explore every square inch of the lawn, as if she's never been there before, in order to find just the perfect place to take care of her business. Nothing deters her from this 'routine'. And it requires us being with her - she will not go out alone, or she will but if there's no one to remind her why she's out there, she will return inside only to piddle on the floor moments later. So we take her out and try to encourage her to do it fast! She's getting better - she's had just a couple accidents the past week and those were our fault for not paying attention to her pleas for going out. We're working on it.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thanks
The turkey is roasting. We have two ice chests in the garage full of crushed ice since we had to relocate most non-Thanksgiving dinner related food items out of the fridge - too many casserole dishes awaiting the oven after the bird is finished roasting. Our guests arrived early - don't know why the driver can't tell time, but he apparently can't. When J. told him to arrive 'sometime after 1' he figured anytime before 1 would be better. Typical. They are here at lunch time and dinner is 3-4 hours away so we are now snacking on chips and dip, brie and crackers and protein bars (for the kids). Wish I had time for a nap, but not today. Oh well.
The week has been fraught with mishaps. J. cooked breakfast for the house full yesterday before they headed off to the golf course. Left a clogged garbage disposal in his wake - it was egg shells and a paper towel. Thank goodness for Johnny's Plumbing in Ripon. I don't know how we got lucky enough to have called them for our first plumbing problem when we moved in here 7 years ago - but we are so fortunate we did. They are THE BEST. I called at 8AM and the thing was fixed and working again by 10:30 - they were here less than an hour and the fix included the plumber sawing the pipe off (since the builder took another code-violating short-cut and didn't install a 'trap' as per code). Even with the re-do of the pipe and trap, the bill was still under $100. Amazing. They are so incredibly nice and do really good work. Very professional. I can't rave about them enough and they are the ONLY plumber we ever call.
Added to that is my PC (laptop) which was infected with a virus. With J.'s help last night, we FINALLY got rid of it - and thankfully, it did no damage. The Norton antivirus program stopped it from accessing any files - but unfortunately could not quarantine nor remove it. I got a pop up hundreds of times each time I turned on the PC and it was processing at a crawl. But it's all back to normal now, thank goodness.
We are off until Monday, though I will undoubtedly be working at least one of those days. So much to do. It never ends. I was tidying up some things and working on the garage and found (still more) boxes from my college job days. Just cleaning those out made me so homesick for that place, I could hardly stand it. Called Bug (who was at her desk late on Thanksgiving eve - she's so dedicated and works so incredibly hard) and she was thinking of me, too. I miss that place and have pretty much decided that I'm going back. Don't know when. Don't know how. But it's where I am ready to be. Again. In the mean time, I have so much to do and will just need to do what needs to get done as it arises. Can't say I like it much these days. Maybe that will change. Maybe not. I'm betting on not. Doesn't 'feel' even remotely 'good' these days, even when it's only a 3 minute commute. Heck, I work the same - actually more - hours at the new job than I did at the old, even including the commute time. So going back to the 'old' job would probably mean more time at home - compared to now. I feel like I live there. Literally.
The weather has turned decidedly chilly - very cold last night, necessitating extra blankets and putting the down comforters on the beds. It was COLD. I still haven't turned on the heat - my frugality is taking over and I just refuse. I did finally close the bedroom window - had have it open for weeks letting fresh, cool air in. But it's time to board up for the long cold winter months. We are raking leaves like crazy - though they are not from our trees, but from our neighbors fruit trees. Was so excited about those when they were planted years ago - but now, they just drop leaves and rotted fruit on our side of the fence and necessitate a ton of clean up. Oh well. They are the neighbors that gifted us with the awesome sleeper couch so we'll keep raking their leaves. It's a good chore for the boys, though they grumble a fair amount. But that's nothing new - they grumble a fair amount about pretty much everything anyway.
On this day, I thank God for my family, my friends, my health and for turkey and pumpkin pie.
Blessings to all! Happy shopping tomorrow!
The week has been fraught with mishaps. J. cooked breakfast for the house full yesterday before they headed off to the golf course. Left a clogged garbage disposal in his wake - it was egg shells and a paper towel. Thank goodness for Johnny's Plumbing in Ripon. I don't know how we got lucky enough to have called them for our first plumbing problem when we moved in here 7 years ago - but we are so fortunate we did. They are THE BEST. I called at 8AM and the thing was fixed and working again by 10:30 - they were here less than an hour and the fix included the plumber sawing the pipe off (since the builder took another code-violating short-cut and didn't install a 'trap' as per code). Even with the re-do of the pipe and trap, the bill was still under $100. Amazing. They are so incredibly nice and do really good work. Very professional. I can't rave about them enough and they are the ONLY plumber we ever call.
Added to that is my PC (laptop) which was infected with a virus. With J.'s help last night, we FINALLY got rid of it - and thankfully, it did no damage. The Norton antivirus program stopped it from accessing any files - but unfortunately could not quarantine nor remove it. I got a pop up hundreds of times each time I turned on the PC and it was processing at a crawl. But it's all back to normal now, thank goodness.
We are off until Monday, though I will undoubtedly be working at least one of those days. So much to do. It never ends. I was tidying up some things and working on the garage and found (still more) boxes from my college job days. Just cleaning those out made me so homesick for that place, I could hardly stand it. Called Bug (who was at her desk late on Thanksgiving eve - she's so dedicated and works so incredibly hard) and she was thinking of me, too. I miss that place and have pretty much decided that I'm going back. Don't know when. Don't know how. But it's where I am ready to be. Again. In the mean time, I have so much to do and will just need to do what needs to get done as it arises. Can't say I like it much these days. Maybe that will change. Maybe not. I'm betting on not. Doesn't 'feel' even remotely 'good' these days, even when it's only a 3 minute commute. Heck, I work the same - actually more - hours at the new job than I did at the old, even including the commute time. So going back to the 'old' job would probably mean more time at home - compared to now. I feel like I live there. Literally.
The weather has turned decidedly chilly - very cold last night, necessitating extra blankets and putting the down comforters on the beds. It was COLD. I still haven't turned on the heat - my frugality is taking over and I just refuse. I did finally close the bedroom window - had have it open for weeks letting fresh, cool air in. But it's time to board up for the long cold winter months. We are raking leaves like crazy - though they are not from our trees, but from our neighbors fruit trees. Was so excited about those when they were planted years ago - but now, they just drop leaves and rotted fruit on our side of the fence and necessitate a ton of clean up. Oh well. They are the neighbors that gifted us with the awesome sleeper couch so we'll keep raking their leaves. It's a good chore for the boys, though they grumble a fair amount. But that's nothing new - they grumble a fair amount about pretty much everything anyway.
On this day, I thank God for my family, my friends, my health and for turkey and pumpkin pie.
Blessings to all! Happy shopping tomorrow!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Crashing
I sit in a room with 299 other 'best and brightest' - the state's top business managers from 299 different districts. And me. I feel horribly out of place.
I take frantic notes on everything said - feeling I'm only really 'getting' a small portion of it. Thinking I will never understand all the formulas and economic impacts that drive state education funding. Convinced, as I have been many times in the past 11 months, that I have made a dire, irreversible mistake by being in this job. "I will never get this", I think. "It will never make sense".
I look to my right at a women who barely gives me the time of day - she made brief introductions and went back to her Blackberry and her coworker - and I notice that she isn't taking notes. She'd DOODLING. Lots of doodles. Boxes and curls she's colored in black ink. She's not even listening, apparently.
And to my left, another 'senior' CBO is dozing. Literally.
And I think 'well, I may not be getting all of it - but I am paying attention, I am writing notes and I am trying. And that's more than those two are doing. So I think I'll be OK'.
I take frantic notes on everything said - feeling I'm only really 'getting' a small portion of it. Thinking I will never understand all the formulas and economic impacts that drive state education funding. Convinced, as I have been many times in the past 11 months, that I have made a dire, irreversible mistake by being in this job. "I will never get this", I think. "It will never make sense".
I look to my right at a women who barely gives me the time of day - she made brief introductions and went back to her Blackberry and her coworker - and I notice that she isn't taking notes. She'd DOODLING. Lots of doodles. Boxes and curls she's colored in black ink. She's not even listening, apparently.
And to my left, another 'senior' CBO is dozing. Literally.
And I think 'well, I may not be getting all of it - but I am paying attention, I am writing notes and I am trying. And that's more than those two are doing. So I think I'll be OK'.
Sea
I smelled it long before I could see it. That breezy, salty, briny smell that assaults your senses as you crest the valley. Having driven in from a 'new' direction, I didn't recognize the terrain at first - and then I did. Knew exactly where I was, and knew it was coming, just around the corner. The smell alerted me I was close. And then, there it was. Breathtakingly beautiful, as it always is, no matter where I am on this planet. The ocean. The massive, beautiful, breezy ocean. As soon as I saw the deep blue with the waves breaking slightly on the shore, I literally felt my body relax - just 'sink' into peace - for the first time in forever.
I visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium last night, just before closing. Didn't have to pay to get in, since we're members - and was transfixed by the kelp exhibit. Getting low light from the late day sun - and the anchovies creating this spiral of fluid silver activity. I could have watched them for hours. I got a private 'tour' of the exhibit by one of the docents there - including her walking me around the tank showing me the fish that 'hide' until it's feeding time. It was just beautiful and I felt so lucky to have been there when there were absolutely no crowds of any kind. Might try to go back tonight before it closes, if I can sneak away from this evenings 'meeting activities'.
I had an Island Paradise cocktail last night while I waited for my 'to go' order at the bar. A mix of three kinds of tropical rums with some kind of juice. I don't know exactly what was in it - but it was delicious. And after eating my 'room service' meal that I brought in myself, I was so wiped out (having been up since 4 and in my office just after 5) that I fell asleep. Put on my PJs, put the do not disturb sign on the door (having suspected this is a swanky enough hotel to have a turn down service - which was confirmed upon opening my door this morning and finding their 'apologies' for not disturbing me to turn down my bed) and was asleep from just after 7 until 7 this morning. Woke only twice - once for some much needed water and another time to use the facilities. But the sleep was glorious. The room was incredibly quiet, temperature was perfection and I slept like a log. And I hope to do the same tonight, including the cocktail that helped induce the sleep. I needed it. I feel extraordinarily better today - ready to conquer the world, kind of.
I bought lottery tickets 'cuz I always feel like it's 'fate' that I'm in a certain place at a certain time. Sadly, we did not win last night, but thankfully, it rolled again, so I bought more. And that extra $3M from the roll would pay for a lovely home here, which would be fantastic.
This place is magical. I am going to promise that J. and I are going to be spending many long, wonderful weekends here in retirement. Just a short drive from home is beachy paradise, and I need that in my life....more often. I don't know why we haven't been coming here - just didn't realize how close it was since moving to Tracy.
It's time to head down to my meeting. More later. Greetings from sand, surf and sea lions. And Majah.
I visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium last night, just before closing. Didn't have to pay to get in, since we're members - and was transfixed by the kelp exhibit. Getting low light from the late day sun - and the anchovies creating this spiral of fluid silver activity. I could have watched them for hours. I got a private 'tour' of the exhibit by one of the docents there - including her walking me around the tank showing me the fish that 'hide' until it's feeding time. It was just beautiful and I felt so lucky to have been there when there were absolutely no crowds of any kind. Might try to go back tonight before it closes, if I can sneak away from this evenings 'meeting activities'.
I had an Island Paradise cocktail last night while I waited for my 'to go' order at the bar. A mix of three kinds of tropical rums with some kind of juice. I don't know exactly what was in it - but it was delicious. And after eating my 'room service' meal that I brought in myself, I was so wiped out (having been up since 4 and in my office just after 5) that I fell asleep. Put on my PJs, put the do not disturb sign on the door (having suspected this is a swanky enough hotel to have a turn down service - which was confirmed upon opening my door this morning and finding their 'apologies' for not disturbing me to turn down my bed) and was asleep from just after 7 until 7 this morning. Woke only twice - once for some much needed water and another time to use the facilities. But the sleep was glorious. The room was incredibly quiet, temperature was perfection and I slept like a log. And I hope to do the same tonight, including the cocktail that helped induce the sleep. I needed it. I feel extraordinarily better today - ready to conquer the world, kind of.
I bought lottery tickets 'cuz I always feel like it's 'fate' that I'm in a certain place at a certain time. Sadly, we did not win last night, but thankfully, it rolled again, so I bought more. And that extra $3M from the roll would pay for a lovely home here, which would be fantastic.
This place is magical. I am going to promise that J. and I are going to be spending many long, wonderful weekends here in retirement. Just a short drive from home is beachy paradise, and I need that in my life....more often. I don't know why we haven't been coming here - just didn't realize how close it was since moving to Tracy.
It's time to head down to my meeting. More later. Greetings from sand, surf and sea lions. And Majah.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Various
It's been a week since my last post...seems like a lot longer than that. Nothing monumental to report....same stuff, different day. I will update on a few miscellany -
Chloe is becoming a family dog. She is hanging out with us more and more outside the fenced off family room and so far, no accidents have been reported. She is getting better at conveying her needs to piddle and when she starts 'talking' to me, it's the signal it's time to go. She gives a little low 'voice' - kind of a growl, only not really - and that's our signal it's time. She is my shadow - where I go, she goes. She especially loves the kitchen because THERE ARE CRUMBS IN THERE. When I headed in to cook dinner last night, she was so giddy, she could barely keep her feet under her to get up the stairs and into the kitchen. She is playing with the boys constantly and is learning to 'sit on her blankie' when it's time to quiet down.
I had her on my lap at one point outside and said 'we miss Dani'. And the 'Dani' clicked with her, really for the first time since she died - and Chloe physically reacted. Ears perked up, eyes scanned the backyard. As if she thought 'oh my gosh, where has she been, I should have been looking for her all this time'. It was sweet ...and sad at the same time. I reassured her 'Dani's not here. It's OK'. And she relaxed a bit. Then she went back to being 'Princess Chloe', queen of the manor.
The winter chill has arrived and like Dani, Chloe is now officially 'burrowing'. Dani burrowed from infancy - and Chloe never really needed the covers, 'cuz she had Dani as her built in heater. Now, without Dani in the kennel, Chloe has sought out burrowing to keep warm on the chilly nights (I'm too cheap to turn on the heater - will soon, but for now, we're all just coping with mornings that are a bit chilly and building a fire in the fireplace on chilly evenings). And we finally moved the bigger 'two dog' kennel out of the family room and into the garage (another garage sale item that we'll probably never sell at a garage sale) and Chloe is using the 'just my size' smaller travel kennel. It suits her and it's nice to feel the family room is somewhat less 'dogs live in this room' chic.
B. did not make jazz band this year and unlike last year, when he knew he had auditioned poorly, there is no reasonable explanation except that the teacher is an #$$. There, I've said it.
Christmas shopping is largely done, at least for the boys. We headed to Sports Chalet in Pleasanton on Saturday evening where H. procured a new jacket and pants for snowboarding. B. had previously chosen a new snow board. And the aforementioned video system is also safely in the closet. Shopping early gives me a few months to spread out the impact on our budget and makes the post-Thanksgiving time less hectic. There are still lots of little things to get between now and then, but the major budget busting items are done. J. and I are both 'at that age' where there isn't anything we really want - we'd much rather forgo wants for ourselves and be able to spoil the kids more. It's a nice place to be - and while I'm sure there will be small items under the tree for us both, we will limit our requests to things we really want. For me, it's all 'consumables'. I don't want things that 'take up space'. Gift cards for Starbucks are perfect. And maybe a CD or two on my list. That's about it. We have the Hawaii trip coming up in March (we will spend our 18th wedding anniversary in paradise with our kids - how perfect is that??) and so being 'frugal' for the two of us at Christmas makes sense.
I am starting to give considerable thought to down-sizing. Not now, because the housing market is horrible - and while we could move into a smaller home for considerably less, we wouldn't be able to sell this one for much more...so we wouldn't be ahead on the housing front. But someday, we will want less space and less expense - and that will require purging a bunch of stuff. It's my mission for 2008. I already feel like we're in a 'use it up' phase. Cleaning out the pantry, garage, etc. are both on my winter break project list. Progress will be made. Things will be given away, sold or just trashed. By the end of the winter break, I intend to have one car parked in the garage every night - instead of 3 cars in the driveway. Well, actually two in the driveway and one by the curb. And then, maybe by Winter Break of 2008, we can make room for a 2nd car in the garage. 'Cuz that's what garages are for, don't 'ya know.
J. says my posts are too long - so I'm signing off now. And heading to work on a holiday because I have too much to do and am out of the office at a symposium for most of the week.
Chloe is becoming a family dog. She is hanging out with us more and more outside the fenced off family room and so far, no accidents have been reported. She is getting better at conveying her needs to piddle and when she starts 'talking' to me, it's the signal it's time to go. She gives a little low 'voice' - kind of a growl, only not really - and that's our signal it's time. She is my shadow - where I go, she goes. She especially loves the kitchen because THERE ARE CRUMBS IN THERE. When I headed in to cook dinner last night, she was so giddy, she could barely keep her feet under her to get up the stairs and into the kitchen. She is playing with the boys constantly and is learning to 'sit on her blankie' when it's time to quiet down.
I had her on my lap at one point outside and said 'we miss Dani'. And the 'Dani' clicked with her, really for the first time since she died - and Chloe physically reacted. Ears perked up, eyes scanned the backyard. As if she thought 'oh my gosh, where has she been, I should have been looking for her all this time'. It was sweet ...and sad at the same time. I reassured her 'Dani's not here. It's OK'. And she relaxed a bit. Then she went back to being 'Princess Chloe', queen of the manor.
The winter chill has arrived and like Dani, Chloe is now officially 'burrowing'. Dani burrowed from infancy - and Chloe never really needed the covers, 'cuz she had Dani as her built in heater. Now, without Dani in the kennel, Chloe has sought out burrowing to keep warm on the chilly nights (I'm too cheap to turn on the heater - will soon, but for now, we're all just coping with mornings that are a bit chilly and building a fire in the fireplace on chilly evenings). And we finally moved the bigger 'two dog' kennel out of the family room and into the garage (another garage sale item that we'll probably never sell at a garage sale) and Chloe is using the 'just my size' smaller travel kennel. It suits her and it's nice to feel the family room is somewhat less 'dogs live in this room' chic.
B. did not make jazz band this year and unlike last year, when he knew he had auditioned poorly, there is no reasonable explanation except that the teacher is an #$$. There, I've said it.
Christmas shopping is largely done, at least for the boys. We headed to Sports Chalet in Pleasanton on Saturday evening where H. procured a new jacket and pants for snowboarding. B. had previously chosen a new snow board. And the aforementioned video system is also safely in the closet. Shopping early gives me a few months to spread out the impact on our budget and makes the post-Thanksgiving time less hectic. There are still lots of little things to get between now and then, but the major budget busting items are done. J. and I are both 'at that age' where there isn't anything we really want - we'd much rather forgo wants for ourselves and be able to spoil the kids more. It's a nice place to be - and while I'm sure there will be small items under the tree for us both, we will limit our requests to things we really want. For me, it's all 'consumables'. I don't want things that 'take up space'. Gift cards for Starbucks are perfect. And maybe a CD or two on my list. That's about it. We have the Hawaii trip coming up in March (we will spend our 18th wedding anniversary in paradise with our kids - how perfect is that??) and so being 'frugal' for the two of us at Christmas makes sense.
I am starting to give considerable thought to down-sizing. Not now, because the housing market is horrible - and while we could move into a smaller home for considerably less, we wouldn't be able to sell this one for much more...so we wouldn't be ahead on the housing front. But someday, we will want less space and less expense - and that will require purging a bunch of stuff. It's my mission for 2008. I already feel like we're in a 'use it up' phase. Cleaning out the pantry, garage, etc. are both on my winter break project list. Progress will be made. Things will be given away, sold or just trashed. By the end of the winter break, I intend to have one car parked in the garage every night - instead of 3 cars in the driveway. Well, actually two in the driveway and one by the curb. And then, maybe by Winter Break of 2008, we can make room for a 2nd car in the garage. 'Cuz that's what garages are for, don't 'ya know.
J. says my posts are too long - so I'm signing off now. And heading to work on a holiday because I have too much to do and am out of the office at a symposium for most of the week.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Guilty Pleasure
I stepped gingerly on the scale this morning, fully expecting to have gained a pound or two, possibly three. I was bad over the weekend - the Ben & Jerry's, chips, etc. I passed the weekend snacking vs. actually eating a real 'meal'. The closest I got to cooking was the baked potato I nuked on Saturday evening for dinner, topped with grated cheese, real butter, sour cream and bacon bits. Didn't have any green onions in the house and was too lazy to go get some, otherwise those would have been on there also.
I was down a pound, oddly enough. Seems some of my 'treats', while sweet, may not be all that 'bad' for me after all.
I stocked up on the "Happy Apples" - the packaged caramel and cinnamon candy apples that appear in the produce department every Halloween. They are DELICIOUS and while 'sweet', perhaps the fruit/fiber part of the apple helps lessen the impact of the 'candy' part? Well, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Had another tonight as 'dessert'. Might have to stop by the produce section tomorrow when I get my iced tea to see if they still have more and get some. They are great!
And, I have been 'exercising' more - walking Chloe 2-3 times per week - apparently so much that when I put the harness on her this afternoon, she looked slightly less excited than she usually does. I 'wogged' a bit - walked/jogged slowly with her trotting beside me. I have to remember that her teeny legs take many more steps to keep up with my longer stride. She has to really run to keep up if I'm wogging, so I try to just walk briskly. It's good exercise and we both are benefiting - she's still looking pudgy but it won't take long for her to thin down. She can't eat Dani's food anymore - she doesn't sneak Dani's treat out from under her nose anymore. So she'll lose weight eventually. And hopefully, so will I.
We have a new creamy yellow leather sofa/sleeper in the play room - our neighbors got a piano and made room for it by getting rid of a sofa. We were thrilled to have it - it's beautiful and perfect to replace the ancient, cat scratched sofa/sleeper we had in there - 20+ years old and showing it. The new couch is beautiful and wider - perfect for stretching out for a quick nap or while reading a book. Love it! Can't thank our neighbors enough!
I am searching high and low for a Nintendo Wii for Christmas. Why is it every Christmas is spent in an obsessive hunt for the latest electronics? And how/why/when did the Wii become so popular that it is out of stock virtually everywhere - EVERYWHERE. I will likely find one on eBay and decide how much I'm willing to pay to save myself hours of searching - as I did last year for the PS3. Oh well. We plan to put the Wii in the family room and have family 'tournaments' for the variety of sport games available.
The time change is strange - it's just after 6PM and it's already dark. The day flew by, which is rare for a Monday. I've planned a dinner and lunch with various friends in early December and might see N. for lunch on the Monday (next) holiday. Hope so. Plan to try.
I was down a pound, oddly enough. Seems some of my 'treats', while sweet, may not be all that 'bad' for me after all.
I stocked up on the "Happy Apples" - the packaged caramel and cinnamon candy apples that appear in the produce department every Halloween. They are DELICIOUS and while 'sweet', perhaps the fruit/fiber part of the apple helps lessen the impact of the 'candy' part? Well, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Had another tonight as 'dessert'. Might have to stop by the produce section tomorrow when I get my iced tea to see if they still have more and get some. They are great!
And, I have been 'exercising' more - walking Chloe 2-3 times per week - apparently so much that when I put the harness on her this afternoon, she looked slightly less excited than she usually does. I 'wogged' a bit - walked/jogged slowly with her trotting beside me. I have to remember that her teeny legs take many more steps to keep up with my longer stride. She has to really run to keep up if I'm wogging, so I try to just walk briskly. It's good exercise and we both are benefiting - she's still looking pudgy but it won't take long for her to thin down. She can't eat Dani's food anymore - she doesn't sneak Dani's treat out from under her nose anymore. So she'll lose weight eventually. And hopefully, so will I.
We have a new creamy yellow leather sofa/sleeper in the play room - our neighbors got a piano and made room for it by getting rid of a sofa. We were thrilled to have it - it's beautiful and perfect to replace the ancient, cat scratched sofa/sleeper we had in there - 20+ years old and showing it. The new couch is beautiful and wider - perfect for stretching out for a quick nap or while reading a book. Love it! Can't thank our neighbors enough!
I am searching high and low for a Nintendo Wii for Christmas. Why is it every Christmas is spent in an obsessive hunt for the latest electronics? And how/why/when did the Wii become so popular that it is out of stock virtually everywhere - EVERYWHERE. I will likely find one on eBay and decide how much I'm willing to pay to save myself hours of searching - as I did last year for the PS3. Oh well. We plan to put the Wii in the family room and have family 'tournaments' for the variety of sport games available.
The time change is strange - it's just after 6PM and it's already dark. The day flew by, which is rare for a Monday. I've planned a dinner and lunch with various friends in early December and might see N. for lunch on the Monday (next) holiday. Hope so. Plan to try.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Saturday Alone
J. and the boys are in Tulare this weekend, where J. is attending his 40th high school reunion (in Visalia). We had considered me going - and I would have. But I was glad/relieved/thrilled when J. suggested he would be fine going alone - he knew I probably wouldn't enjoy it much and he didn't want to worry that I was having a rotten time. I went to his 25th and it was fine, though 'fun' is not an adjective I'd use to describe it. So I opted out, which saved us oodles of $$ and gave me a weekend at home alone. Just me and Chloe.
I drove to Pleasanton again today to return the outfit I bought at jjill a couple weeks ago. Ended up buying a jacket I had my eye on that day, which was now clearanced and 1/2 off! Love a deal! I had lunch (an almond pretzel from Auntie Anne's and an iced tea from you know where. Also went to Sephora for a few 'beauty' items and saved myself shipping since I was planning to order them.
They were putting up the big Christmas display in the mall ALREADY and already had the 'calendar' kiosks in the middle of the mall for Christmas gifts. They also had 'fake' Christmas trees with multi colored lights - exactly what we've been looking for. We have considered buying the Costco pre-lit trees but those lights are just clear and we all want multi. So when I saw the 'tree store' in the mall, I headed in. And then immediately headed out. The tree I looked at, at the 2nd to the shortest size, was ONE THOUSAND NINETY DOLLARS. Can you believe that? Even at $100/tree (which we rarely spend - we're usually between $65 and $85), it would take us NINETEEN YEARS to recoup our investment. True, some of the attraction is avoiding the hassle and mess of a real tree. The outing to buy it; minutes/hours finding the right one; tying it to the top of the car and praying we make it home before it falls off; dragging it into the front door, leaving a trail behind us; getting it into the stand; etc....but I don't think I can spend that kind of money on a FAKE tree. I just can't do it. I think if we decided to go the 'artificial' route this year, we'll buy the Costco tree with white lights and then add colored lights to it. Easy. Though I think we will likely be 'traditioned' into getting a real tree every year until the kids don't live here anymore. It's what they've grown up with and like. And I can't blame them for that...
I went to SaveMart and bought some Ben & Jerry's ice cream for a treat. Got the 'new' Creme Brulee flavor, which was incredibly, sickeningly sweet - and after a couple spoons, I had to eat some potato chips to even out the sweet with some salty. Now I'm parched and will need some cold water to get rid of the salt.
I've paid the bills, cleaned out the catalog cupboard, signed up for a service that deletes your name from catalog mailings for those you don't want, taken out a lot of recycling, played with Chloe, had dinner (baked potato). Will soon be starting some laundry, running the dishwasher and making some pineapple pumpkin bread for tomorrow.
We've started letting Chloe out in the evenings - freeing her from her puppy prison to come play for a bit. She still piddles - everywhere - and we are watching her like a hawk. But as long as she stays in the same room where we are, she does pretty well. And she loves playing and it's been a lot of fun to see her interact WITH US, instead of playing with Dani. She is becoming a 'people' dog instead of a dog's dog and it's been fun to see her transformation this week. We still have a long way to go to get her to be a 'allowed out all the time no caution required' dog, but we're working on it. We're going to take her to the vet for a checkup and tell them that she piddles when she's excited or nervous - and see if there's something wrong with her. Besides a small bladder, which I suspect is the problem. She's a tiny little thing.
Gotta run. Time for Chloe's play time. We're watching 'You've Got Mail', the absolutely perfect Saturday evening alone movie.
Night all. Chloe and I wish you a peaceful evening and a good night's sleep.
I drove to Pleasanton again today to return the outfit I bought at jjill a couple weeks ago. Ended up buying a jacket I had my eye on that day, which was now clearanced and 1/2 off! Love a deal! I had lunch (an almond pretzel from Auntie Anne's and an iced tea from you know where. Also went to Sephora for a few 'beauty' items and saved myself shipping since I was planning to order them.
They were putting up the big Christmas display in the mall ALREADY and already had the 'calendar' kiosks in the middle of the mall for Christmas gifts. They also had 'fake' Christmas trees with multi colored lights - exactly what we've been looking for. We have considered buying the Costco pre-lit trees but those lights are just clear and we all want multi. So when I saw the 'tree store' in the mall, I headed in. And then immediately headed out. The tree I looked at, at the 2nd to the shortest size, was ONE THOUSAND NINETY DOLLARS. Can you believe that? Even at $100/tree (which we rarely spend - we're usually between $65 and $85), it would take us NINETEEN YEARS to recoup our investment. True, some of the attraction is avoiding the hassle and mess of a real tree. The outing to buy it; minutes/hours finding the right one; tying it to the top of the car and praying we make it home before it falls off; dragging it into the front door, leaving a trail behind us; getting it into the stand; etc....but I don't think I can spend that kind of money on a FAKE tree. I just can't do it. I think if we decided to go the 'artificial' route this year, we'll buy the Costco tree with white lights and then add colored lights to it. Easy. Though I think we will likely be 'traditioned' into getting a real tree every year until the kids don't live here anymore. It's what they've grown up with and like. And I can't blame them for that...
I went to SaveMart and bought some Ben & Jerry's ice cream for a treat. Got the 'new' Creme Brulee flavor, which was incredibly, sickeningly sweet - and after a couple spoons, I had to eat some potato chips to even out the sweet with some salty. Now I'm parched and will need some cold water to get rid of the salt.
I've paid the bills, cleaned out the catalog cupboard, signed up for a service that deletes your name from catalog mailings for those you don't want, taken out a lot of recycling, played with Chloe, had dinner (baked potato). Will soon be starting some laundry, running the dishwasher and making some pineapple pumpkin bread for tomorrow.
We've started letting Chloe out in the evenings - freeing her from her puppy prison to come play for a bit. She still piddles - everywhere - and we are watching her like a hawk. But as long as she stays in the same room where we are, she does pretty well. And she loves playing and it's been a lot of fun to see her interact WITH US, instead of playing with Dani. She is becoming a 'people' dog instead of a dog's dog and it's been fun to see her transformation this week. We still have a long way to go to get her to be a 'allowed out all the time no caution required' dog, but we're working on it. We're going to take her to the vet for a checkup and tell them that she piddles when she's excited or nervous - and see if there's something wrong with her. Besides a small bladder, which I suspect is the problem. She's a tiny little thing.
Gotta run. Time for Chloe's play time. We're watching 'You've Got Mail', the absolutely perfect Saturday evening alone movie.
Night all. Chloe and I wish you a peaceful evening and a good night's sleep.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Numbers
My life is just numbers. Numbers, numbers, always numbers. I spent all day balancing a construction report for a school project - spreadsheets everywhere. Color coded. Labeled with various symbols and colors to help me keep track of it all. After 4 days of working on it, I finally got it to balance - balance to what was previously reported, so at least I can now start on the next Phase. And I'm very, very close to being done. It felt great to move forward on that project 'cuz it's been looming over my head for a long time.
Tonight, I decided (don't know how, nor why) to project our 2007 tax bill - as if the 'all numbers, all the time' parts of my job aren't enough - and freaked myself out quite a bit. Because I have a job that pays more than my prior job, we will be hit with AMT this year. Ugh. J. assured me that he's heard they are very close to passing the bill that will 'fix' this issue for those of us in the AMT brackets. I sure hope so. It feels horrible to realize that a chunk of my 'raise' will be going to the IRS - not into our pocket. We'll have to considerably increase our withholding - something we did as soon as I started the new job - again just to stay even. I'm sure hoping the government folks work their magic and make AMT go away. Please....PLEASE.
We felt the 5.6 earthquake out here. A bit 'odd' since we rarely notice them - and it took a few minutes to realize what was happening. Chloe went a bit 'nuts' just before we felt it - and when I took her out earlier this evening, there was a big toad sitting in the middle of the patio - just out in the open, which he never does. He hangs out in the garden by the dining room - we see him fairly often. But he never 'shows himself' - until tonight. I'm convinced he, too, knew something was 'happening' in our earth's layers. B. was in the tub when it happened and the water started sloshing. He was really startled and kept thinking 'why is someone shaking the tub'? I don't think they were old enough to remember the few mild quakes we felt when we lived in Hayward. They both most definitely felt this one. It was pretty 'big' to be felt all the way out this way.
I got home this evening and went right out with Chloe for a quick walk. I need the exercise and she needs the distraction. I think she really misses Dani - the company. She won't even go in the 'big' kennel - she seems to prefer her smaller 'travel' kennel - which was her kennel when she was a baby and then one night, the two of them went into the same kennel at bed time and they never slept apart again. But Chloe doesn't seem to want to be in the big kennel without Dani and so she hangs out in her 'little house'. She sits patiently, waiting. I am committed to working with her a lot over the Christmas break to see if we can feel more confident she won't piddle everywhere. I'd really like for her to be 'out and about' as much as possible, but she earned the name 'piddle monster' and I won't risk our carpets. We tried a lot and she has frequent accidents. But we haven't tried recently and we haven't tried with only one dog in the house - so we'll give it another go over the winter break and see how it goes.
J. and the kids are going down to Tulare for the weekend. I'm planning a trip to Pleasanton to make a return at jjill - and possibly lunch with the Bug who returns to work tomorrow.
Van is back in the driveway and Honda paid for the $2600 in parts. So while we're not 'happy' to have had to replace the transmission already (it's only 4 years old), we're grateful they acknowledged the issue and picked up the tab for the parts. J. was enjoying the Pontiac G6 (V6 engine) - and it cracked me up how without his 'odometer' to tell him how many miles per gallon he's getting on his current tank, he definitely hit the gas a bit more firmly and frequently during his short tenure of driving a 'regular' car. Now he's back in his 'info-bot' car where he will make a game of hitting the gas as little as humanly possible. The planet thanks him. I thank him, too, though he drives like a little old lady. (and I love him...even if it takes us forever to get anywhere).
Tonight, I decided (don't know how, nor why) to project our 2007 tax bill - as if the 'all numbers, all the time' parts of my job aren't enough - and freaked myself out quite a bit. Because I have a job that pays more than my prior job, we will be hit with AMT this year. Ugh. J. assured me that he's heard they are very close to passing the bill that will 'fix' this issue for those of us in the AMT brackets. I sure hope so. It feels horrible to realize that a chunk of my 'raise' will be going to the IRS - not into our pocket. We'll have to considerably increase our withholding - something we did as soon as I started the new job - again just to stay even. I'm sure hoping the government folks work their magic and make AMT go away. Please....PLEASE.
We felt the 5.6 earthquake out here. A bit 'odd' since we rarely notice them - and it took a few minutes to realize what was happening. Chloe went a bit 'nuts' just before we felt it - and when I took her out earlier this evening, there was a big toad sitting in the middle of the patio - just out in the open, which he never does. He hangs out in the garden by the dining room - we see him fairly often. But he never 'shows himself' - until tonight. I'm convinced he, too, knew something was 'happening' in our earth's layers. B. was in the tub when it happened and the water started sloshing. He was really startled and kept thinking 'why is someone shaking the tub'? I don't think they were old enough to remember the few mild quakes we felt when we lived in Hayward. They both most definitely felt this one. It was pretty 'big' to be felt all the way out this way.
I got home this evening and went right out with Chloe for a quick walk. I need the exercise and she needs the distraction. I think she really misses Dani - the company. She won't even go in the 'big' kennel - she seems to prefer her smaller 'travel' kennel - which was her kennel when she was a baby and then one night, the two of them went into the same kennel at bed time and they never slept apart again. But Chloe doesn't seem to want to be in the big kennel without Dani and so she hangs out in her 'little house'. She sits patiently, waiting. I am committed to working with her a lot over the Christmas break to see if we can feel more confident she won't piddle everywhere. I'd really like for her to be 'out and about' as much as possible, but she earned the name 'piddle monster' and I won't risk our carpets. We tried a lot and she has frequent accidents. But we haven't tried recently and we haven't tried with only one dog in the house - so we'll give it another go over the winter break and see how it goes.
J. and the kids are going down to Tulare for the weekend. I'm planning a trip to Pleasanton to make a return at jjill - and possibly lunch with the Bug who returns to work tomorrow.
Van is back in the driveway and Honda paid for the $2600 in parts. So while we're not 'happy' to have had to replace the transmission already (it's only 4 years old), we're grateful they acknowledged the issue and picked up the tab for the parts. J. was enjoying the Pontiac G6 (V6 engine) - and it cracked me up how without his 'odometer' to tell him how many miles per gallon he's getting on his current tank, he definitely hit the gas a bit more firmly and frequently during his short tenure of driving a 'regular' car. Now he's back in his 'info-bot' car where he will make a game of hitting the gas as little as humanly possible. The planet thanks him. I thank him, too, though he drives like a little old lady. (and I love him...even if it takes us forever to get anywhere).
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Car
Oh, and an update on the van. Honda USA is going to 'help us' with the expense. So far, no firm amount has been offered - but they have indicated a willingness to work with us on splitting the cost somehow. We did a lot of research on the Internet (love the Internet) and were able to confirm that the Odyssey transmissions have been problems going many years back - and even model years such as ours which are outside the 'prime problem years' have a pattern of going out at far fewer miles than is expected for a Honda. A few mentions of various postings illustrating Honda has been covering some of the expenses for other Odyssey owners and wa-la (viola, but I don't know how to to the ' thing over the 'a') - they will help us a bit with the expense. The dealership called to say it's ready today - and we have told them we're not picking it up until we know what Honda USA is offering. Once we pick it up and pay for it, we'll never get a reimbursement (also a web-site tip) so we are sticking firm and refusing to pick it up until this is all hammered out. The dealership isn't exactly the most helpful, cooperative place we've been to (no surprise) and at the moment, it's both parties pointing the finger saying 'I haven't reached him yet' while the guy says 'I have no messages from the guy'. Yeah, right. They'll figure it out. In the mean time, we have a black Pontiac rental in the driveway which has been driven very little - but we would rather have it if we need it than go back to only two cars. How spoiled is that? Now we can't be a two car family again - always 3. But routine is paramount and it's too hard to adjust drop off and pickup schedules for the kids - so we left a car allocated to B. since he helps with all that.
Yesterday
The 2nd day of the conference was much harder than the first. Hotel sleep is never satisfying, and as I did the last time I stayed in a hotel, I lamented some silly 'flashing' light that made me crazy. Potentially migraine triggering and insolent, it tortured me until around 3AM when I finally awoke from the grogginess long enough to figure out that it was my cell phone - the flashing 'light' which tells me if there's a missed call or message. I had set the alarm (because I'd tried to set the nightstand alarm but you had to reset it by going a minute at a time, back through 24 hours, to get to the time you wanted to wake up. 1/2 way through (from a 6:15 set getting to a 5:45 set), I took a break 'cuz my hand was tired - and the darn thing reset itself all the way BACK to 6:15 again. So I used my Blackberry alarm instead and then left it on the nightstand so I would hear it. And then was tortured by that stupid flashing light. I chided myself when I finally realized what it was 'cuz I had the same experience when I stayed up in Yolo County awhile back. So I didn't get into a decent sleep until after 3 and then it was time to wake up.
I called J. from the parking lot of the workshop hotel and asked if we were doing the right thing about Dani. Knowing we were, but still, wishing there was a way she would be OK again. He said he managed through the morning just fine until he was almost at the vet's office and then he lost it. The front desk people were so kind and gave Jim Kleenex. They took Dani from him and he talked to the vet in the room with her for a bit. And then he left. We will have her ashes - something I never thought I'd do - and will make a memorial area under a shady tree in our backyard when Spring comes.
Yesterday, a single pink rose arrived from the vet's office with a note offering their support. I thought that was the sweetest thing - to acknowledge that she was a member of our family and we are all grieving losing her.
It is probably hardest for Chloe since she has been snuggling with Dani since she was 6 weeks old. She is now opting to sleep in the 'travel' kennel - as if being in the bigger kennel without her 'cell mate' is too much for her to handle. She is cold, I think, because she doesn't burrow like Dani did so she doesn't have a lot of 'covers'. We are giving her extra attention and loves. She is adjusting to less food (she would eat hers and then finish whatever Dani didn't eat) - the first time we served her 1/4 cup of kibble for dinner, she gobbled it down and then looked forlorn upon realizing that was it. No more. Poor thing. She needs to lose some weight and then we can give her a tad more, I think.
I will be working most of the day tomorrow. I am resigning myself to going in all day tomorrow and possibly part of today. There is much to do, suddenly, as several 'simmering' things have risen to the top and are now in need of considerable effort and attention to get them done. And the month of October has flown by and I have a HUGE report due to the Board in December - and with the Thanksgiving holiday, that's fewer days to get it done. Auditors are still here though so far, it's going very well. There's just always so much to do. It's a constant rush, rush, rush. I thought Oct/Nov/Dec was my 'slow' time but it's not turning out that way. I'm looking forward to close to 3 weeks off at Christmas and just praying I'll be able to take most of that time off.
Time to get laundry, etc. going...typical Saturday around here. Only not typical - Dani was a barker and barked at every little thing. Without her, the house is eerily more quiet. Chloe barks a bit, but quietly, often sort of 'under her breath'. I don't miss the barking, but I do miss the barker.
Bye for now. Bug, if you're reading this, email me so I know you're back from Mouseland.
I called J. from the parking lot of the workshop hotel and asked if we were doing the right thing about Dani. Knowing we were, but still, wishing there was a way she would be OK again. He said he managed through the morning just fine until he was almost at the vet's office and then he lost it. The front desk people were so kind and gave Jim Kleenex. They took Dani from him and he talked to the vet in the room with her for a bit. And then he left. We will have her ashes - something I never thought I'd do - and will make a memorial area under a shady tree in our backyard when Spring comes.
Yesterday, a single pink rose arrived from the vet's office with a note offering their support. I thought that was the sweetest thing - to acknowledge that she was a member of our family and we are all grieving losing her.
It is probably hardest for Chloe since she has been snuggling with Dani since she was 6 weeks old. She is now opting to sleep in the 'travel' kennel - as if being in the bigger kennel without her 'cell mate' is too much for her to handle. She is cold, I think, because she doesn't burrow like Dani did so she doesn't have a lot of 'covers'. We are giving her extra attention and loves. She is adjusting to less food (she would eat hers and then finish whatever Dani didn't eat) - the first time we served her 1/4 cup of kibble for dinner, she gobbled it down and then looked forlorn upon realizing that was it. No more. Poor thing. She needs to lose some weight and then we can give her a tad more, I think.
I will be working most of the day tomorrow. I am resigning myself to going in all day tomorrow and possibly part of today. There is much to do, suddenly, as several 'simmering' things have risen to the top and are now in need of considerable effort and attention to get them done. And the month of October has flown by and I have a HUGE report due to the Board in December - and with the Thanksgiving holiday, that's fewer days to get it done. Auditors are still here though so far, it's going very well. There's just always so much to do. It's a constant rush, rush, rush. I thought Oct/Nov/Dec was my 'slow' time but it's not turning out that way. I'm looking forward to close to 3 weeks off at Christmas and just praying I'll be able to take most of that time off.
Time to get laundry, etc. going...typical Saturday around here. Only not typical - Dani was a barker and barked at every little thing. Without her, the house is eerily more quiet. Chloe barks a bit, but quietly, often sort of 'under her breath'. I don't miss the barking, but I do miss the barker.
Bye for now. Bug, if you're reading this, email me so I know you're back from Mouseland.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Farewell, Sweets
A few weeks ago, I told J. I thought my car was making a funny noise. I convinced him to let me drive his just in case when I was headed up north for a class. He drove my car and came home and pronounced it 'fine'. The 'noise' I heard - really a 'high pitched' slight 'whine' that sounded different - was not evident to him. He jokingly said he thought I just wanted to listen to my iPod and his car has the hookup for that - mine doesn't. I conceded that I did, in fact, love listening to my iPod while driving his car, but there WAS something wrong with my car. But I started driving it again, including long distances.
I was right. There was something terribly wrong with the car which became evident this morning on the freeway at 8AM when the gas was making the engine rev but there was no gear engaged. I moved to the slow lane and drove a bit further - the car was then 'fine' after the initial issue, so I thought 'well, there is something wrong and we do need to get it checked out'. But after exiting the freeway at my exit, and upon accelerating again after a stop, it became crystal clear the engine was far from ok. The gears would not engage at all - and then, as I was turning onto a less busy street, the check engine light went on. I knew I was done for. Triple A had a tow truck there within 30 minutes - a nice guy named Chris with 4 kids, one on the way. He was professional, courteous and kind and I was never so glad to see a tow truck in my life. I missed my meeting - called to ask them to send me the info in the courier (I was headed to a meeting at our county office of education). Triple A is the kind of thing that you always think as you write the check out 'is this worth it 'cuz we never use it'. But when you NEED it, you are so glad to have it - and it is SO worth it. Just the peace of mind - one phone call. That's it. They even called back to tell me he would be there within 15 minutes. And he was. I love Triple A!
Thankfully, J. returned home last night and when I called him on his cell, he immediately offered to come back home. Which he did, so I could have his car to get to the workshop I am now at in Sacramento (I'm in the hotel at the moment but the 2nd day of the workshop is tomorrow). I took his car, he worked at home and waited for Honda to call him with the $3700 estimate to fix it. And then he went and got a rental car.
I made it to my workshop late - not because of that fiasco but because I was told the wrong location. And when I finally found the right location, I then couldn't find any parking ANYWHERE and drove around down town Sacramento looking for a place to park. It was a worthwhile workshop and I'm sure tomorrow will be even better.
As I drove to the workshop, I was so 'proud' of myself for how far I've come on the 'coping skills' scale. I wasn't flustered. Not the teeniest bit annoyed. Stuff happens. We took care of it. I wasn't even remotely irritated with J. - I would have been years ago - I would have been pissed off that he never 'gets' what I'm trying to convince him of; that he doesn't listen; etc. - a million, zillion 'judgment' statements. Those don't even enter my mind anymore. I have evolved. I want my time on this earth to be about doing all I can to be happy and productive and full of kindness. To rain harmony and good thoughts wherever I am. And it was working. I felt great - rough morning, yes. But it's all fine and it all worked out OK.
Notice I said 'was working'.
Because as soon as J. got home from picking up the rental car, he had to rush our dog to the vet - and we will be putting her to sleep tomorrow. Dani's back problem of a few months ago turned into a back crisis in less than 12 hours. She was OK at 10AM this morning - though I did notice that she was moving a bit 'strangely' - seemed stiff. But by the time J. and B. got back from picking up the rental car, she was unable to walk. Refused to put weight on her back legs. And was clearly in pain.
Diagnosis: ruptured disk. Treatment: aggressive surgery done within 24 hours (they wanted J. to take her tonight to Dublin) and months of physical therapy. And thousands of dollars. And even with all that, her quality of life is compromised forever. She will have pain daily. As she has had off and on these past weeks. She wasn't moving because she's paralyzed - and there's no certainly that is 'fixable'.
So we have decided to put her to sleep - it is the humane thing to do. But it still feels horrible. Really horrible.
I miss her already. She is the sweetest, kindest, most loving dog on the planet. And tonight is her last night here with us - and I'm not even there. I'm in a hotel room blogging about it. And crying my eyes out.
I am so glad J. is home. And I am thankful God let the really hard stuff happen when J. was home instead of when he wasn't. It doesn't make the stuff any easier, and yet it does. J. is my rock.
Goodbye, Dani dog. We love you, sweetheart. With all our hearts. You go play and run and enjoy doggie heaven. Your eyes will be all better and you'll be able to see and run and jump and EVERYTHING....all the time. And we'll see you again someday. Love you, sweets.
I was right. There was something terribly wrong with the car which became evident this morning on the freeway at 8AM when the gas was making the engine rev but there was no gear engaged. I moved to the slow lane and drove a bit further - the car was then 'fine' after the initial issue, so I thought 'well, there is something wrong and we do need to get it checked out'. But after exiting the freeway at my exit, and upon accelerating again after a stop, it became crystal clear the engine was far from ok. The gears would not engage at all - and then, as I was turning onto a less busy street, the check engine light went on. I knew I was done for. Triple A had a tow truck there within 30 minutes - a nice guy named Chris with 4 kids, one on the way. He was professional, courteous and kind and I was never so glad to see a tow truck in my life. I missed my meeting - called to ask them to send me the info in the courier (I was headed to a meeting at our county office of education). Triple A is the kind of thing that you always think as you write the check out 'is this worth it 'cuz we never use it'. But when you NEED it, you are so glad to have it - and it is SO worth it. Just the peace of mind - one phone call. That's it. They even called back to tell me he would be there within 15 minutes. And he was. I love Triple A!
Thankfully, J. returned home last night and when I called him on his cell, he immediately offered to come back home. Which he did, so I could have his car to get to the workshop I am now at in Sacramento (I'm in the hotel at the moment but the 2nd day of the workshop is tomorrow). I took his car, he worked at home and waited for Honda to call him with the $3700 estimate to fix it. And then he went and got a rental car.
I made it to my workshop late - not because of that fiasco but because I was told the wrong location. And when I finally found the right location, I then couldn't find any parking ANYWHERE and drove around down town Sacramento looking for a place to park. It was a worthwhile workshop and I'm sure tomorrow will be even better.
As I drove to the workshop, I was so 'proud' of myself for how far I've come on the 'coping skills' scale. I wasn't flustered. Not the teeniest bit annoyed. Stuff happens. We took care of it. I wasn't even remotely irritated with J. - I would have been years ago - I would have been pissed off that he never 'gets' what I'm trying to convince him of; that he doesn't listen; etc. - a million, zillion 'judgment' statements. Those don't even enter my mind anymore. I have evolved. I want my time on this earth to be about doing all I can to be happy and productive and full of kindness. To rain harmony and good thoughts wherever I am. And it was working. I felt great - rough morning, yes. But it's all fine and it all worked out OK.
Notice I said 'was working'.
Because as soon as J. got home from picking up the rental car, he had to rush our dog to the vet - and we will be putting her to sleep tomorrow. Dani's back problem of a few months ago turned into a back crisis in less than 12 hours. She was OK at 10AM this morning - though I did notice that she was moving a bit 'strangely' - seemed stiff. But by the time J. and B. got back from picking up the rental car, she was unable to walk. Refused to put weight on her back legs. And was clearly in pain.
Diagnosis: ruptured disk. Treatment: aggressive surgery done within 24 hours (they wanted J. to take her tonight to Dublin) and months of physical therapy. And thousands of dollars. And even with all that, her quality of life is compromised forever. She will have pain daily. As she has had off and on these past weeks. She wasn't moving because she's paralyzed - and there's no certainly that is 'fixable'.
So we have decided to put her to sleep - it is the humane thing to do. But it still feels horrible. Really horrible.
I miss her already. She is the sweetest, kindest, most loving dog on the planet. And tonight is her last night here with us - and I'm not even there. I'm in a hotel room blogging about it. And crying my eyes out.
I am so glad J. is home. And I am thankful God let the really hard stuff happen when J. was home instead of when he wasn't. It doesn't make the stuff any easier, and yet it does. J. is my rock.
Goodbye, Dani dog. We love you, sweetheart. With all our hearts. You go play and run and enjoy doggie heaven. Your eyes will be all better and you'll be able to see and run and jump and EVERYTHING....all the time. And we'll see you again someday. Love you, sweets.
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Tales of Helpers
Our cleaning lady D. is here today - she wears earbuds and chats on the phone while she works. She is the third cleaning 'person(s)...
