Majah's Musings

Dating

2012-01-28T08:17:00.000-08:00

Since returning from Winter Break, my calendar shows that I am off every Friday. Those Fridays off are pretty much noted from now through the end of the school year. My weekend and 'extra' days means I am working more than my contract requires - so I'm doing everything humanly possible to lower my work days by attempting to take days off. This would be a beautiful thing if only my new assistant - who also started working for me after the winter break - didn't only work on Thursdays and Fridays. So since I want/need time with her, I've been actually going in on my days off and spending at least 1/2 day with her. I just don't count it as a work day. And I give myself the luxury of sleeping in a bit later, wearing jeans and hoodies and sneakers to work and then leave before it's lunch time. It's been fun. And I feel 'productive' about it - we are accomplishing a lot of things that need taking care of and I still feel like I have time off. Friday afternoons off are awesome! True, it would be more awesome to sleep in completely and to lounge around in my PJs for awhile before starting the day (ala the weekends) but oh well. I'll take whatever down time I can get at the moment.

Yesterday, J. and I took my car in for service - it is three and half years old, has 36,000 miles on it and needed an oil change, air filter change and tires rotated. They said an hour and a half. We prepaid for maintenance for four years - it was stupid of us to do that - especially with a hybrid - because the car truly requires very little service. Far less service than a regular car engine does. Add to that my low, low mileage (around 8K a year) and we paid for service we will probably never need during the service period. Oh well. I'll be taking the car in for every little thing in the next six months in a vain attempt to 'get our money's worth'. Note to self: don't buy a car from a friend who owns the dealership. That whole 'friendship' dynamic makes you do things you would never normally do. Like pay for pre-paid maintenance.

We spent a really fun time at the Starbucks near the mall - happily ensconced with our Kindles, a light caramel frapp and a Trenta iced tea and spent just under three hours reading away. Enjoyed nice conversation with various SB customers as they passed. It was delightful....and I could see our retirement ahead with many lazy afternoons passing the time at SB reading and enjoying people watching and conversation.

I started to get a little antsy about how long the car was taking - didn't they say 1.5 hours and we're now over 2.0. And J. was all 'we're having a great time, honey. Relax and keep reading'. I replied 'I hate it when you go all "glass half full" on me'. Said with a grin and a shoulder shrug for added emphasis. But he was right. It was a great time and I'm close to half way through the 2nd book of the Hunger Games series (a post coming up on that shortly). And I finished my iced tea while we were there and my gold card gets me free refills!! So I got a 2nd Trenta iced tea for FREE!

Cheap Chinese for dinner (which is what we call the Chinese food place in the food court at the mall - we've always called it that).

B.'s birthday was great fun. He ordered a '7 and 7' for his first drink (which is something his grandpa would have ordered) and then followed that with a blended strawberry margarita. We went to Texas Roadhouse where they make you sit on a sawhorse with a saddle while they sing Happy Birthday to you.

For his birthday, we gave him the wireless headphones that go with the running gadget he got for Christmas. And we paid for 50% of this semesters tuition. And then last night, we threw in a full tank of gas - he is off to party with friends this weekend and spent last night in Roseville and will be partying in Sonoma tonight. I think he was most excited about the tank of gas.....

Today will be full of yard work. I think I'm firing our gardener shortly. H. has been doing some work out front and H. pulled a lot of the ground cover out from one of the beds near our fence. It wasn't what I wanted - there was a lot of 'culling' and thinning to do but he pulled out everything - and I was OK with that. The gardener 'helped' during one visit and basically weed whacked the bed. OK. I was OK with that. But then the next time the gardener came, he weed whacked the ENTIRE BED in front of our living room window - took out every bit of ground cover - which is not what I intended at all. The guy does very little for his $60 a month - especially in winter when the grass is barely growing - but he shows up and weed whacks my front flower bed without asking.

I think we're going to put bark in those beds and just be done with it. It's probably the best thing to do - so we will work on that today. Probably making a trip (or two) to OSH to get more bark. Sure, we could have the local nursery deliver bark and dump it in the driveway - but then we'd have to take care of it immediately (lest our neighbors help themselves to the bark or Mother Nature blow it all down the street).....so bags of bark (though more expensive) give us flexibility in when we put them down.

I am the mother of a 21 year old. Holy Crap!

Niners

2012-01-22T18:41:00.000-08:00

I am a fair weather fan and I am very excited about the Niners being in the playoffs....five minutes left and it's tied. I can't handle the stress....I just want to know how it all turns out and I want to know NOW.

Made a lot of food today - a big batch of chili which is the best chili I've ever made. I take no credit - The Pioneer Woman's recipes are awesome and I love trying them. I also made her homemade corn dogs and they were delicious, too! Those were for lunch. Chili is for dinner. When dinner is done, I will put the leftover chili in freezer zip locks with the zipper top and freeze it for another meal later in the month. It was easy, quick and is really great - added a dollop of sour cream and a little bit of shredded cheese. Fantastic on a cold, rainy day!

I grocery shopped at WinCo today - me and 100's of other people apparently preparing food for game day. It was mobbed but managed to get all our supplies and get home. Why do I always do big grocery shops in the rain? I have no idea....I just do.

Tomorrow, we celebrate B.'s 21st birthday - he wanted to go to a local Japanese place - like BeniHana where they cook at the table. But I reminded him that their alcoholic beverages are very limited and isn't one of the 'big' things about turning 21 ordering a drink on the day it's legal to do so? So I think he's leaning towards Texas Roadhouse. We're keeping it low key - no 'surprise' party - though if he asked to invite friends, I would be OK with that. Hopefully he won't. He's sort of burned some bridges with me the past few weeks and it's all I can do to attempt to get even a little excited for his big milestone birthday. It's a hard place to be in these days. Do I love him? Yes, totally. But I don't like him at all and he is really acting in ways that make me dread being with him. I know this is 'normal'. I know. But it sucks. He makes issue of every little thing - yesterday's 'crises' were us providing apple juice instead of grape and that the battery cover to the remote control for the TV was missing - and he wanted to be sure we knew that he 'didn't do it'. Which translates to 'H. did and so you need to do something about it pronto'. Yeah, right. Our highest priority is to find the back of the remote and/or get after H. about it. He (B.) is frequently over the top in virtually every situation - big or small. It's exhausting. And sort of heart breaking. Maybe it's just a way to make it easier for me to prepare for him truly being out of the house. We have no idea when that will be, mind you. No idea whatsoever.

His latest report card was a joke - clearly, school is not his thing. He enrolled again and it's really like throwing $800+ down the toilet since he attends classes but does so poorly in them, we wonder why he keeps going. He felt 'confident' about his grades this time. Really? It's so not 'confident' in terms of the grades that I won't even write them down publicly. The only 'good' thing about it is: it's his money. We long ago stopped paying for his 'pretend' college courses and he's been paying for years now. Barely passing most classes. Frequently not passing others.

A minute left....still tied. The suspense is killing me....

Secret Menu

2012-01-18T20:33:00.000-08:00

H. asked me for my Starbucks Gold Card so he could go get a 'Captain Crunch' frappucino. I had no idea what he was talking about - so I Googled it!

And he's right! A strawberries and cream frap with hazelnut and toffeenut syrups! It tastes just like Captain Crunch with Crunchberries - it's DELICIOUS!!!

It's Wednesday - so 1/2 way through.....

I am having a lot of trouble getting up - I didn't get to work until 8 this morning and consequently felt 'late' and 'off' all day -

Meetings most of the day tomorrow - still planning to be off on Friday but likely in the office a bit in the morning. My new assistant only works for me on Thursdays and Fridays and so I don't want to miss too much time with her. She's helping me massively cull out stuff which is great!

If there were moisture in the air, it would be snow. It has been in the low to mid 20's at times this week - and freezing most mornings. We've had to turn off the sprinklers to avoid killing ourselves slipping on the ice that results when the water gets on the driveway and sidewalks.

The boys got their grades today - suffice it to say that neither of them seem all that 'great' at book learning. How did they end up our kids? Seriously? J. and I are practically carbon copies of honor roll, motivated, etc. students throughout highschool and most (parts, anyway) of college. Our progeny? Not so much...

B. decided to try to get some classes this semester - so he dressed in a dress shirt, khakis AND A TIE and went to the first day of classes yesterday to add three psychology classes and a math class. He got at least one class and the math class is likely but it's first session isn't until Monday - B.'s 21st birthday, coincidentally. After seeing his grades for last semester, I feel like telling him that enrolling in classes that he apparently doesn't intend to work hard at is basically taking $700 and flushing it down the toilet. It's not our money - it's his. But it's still a complete waste to take classes and do so poorly.

He will be 21 - hard to believe. Partly just that I still vividly recall his little loaf of bread self staring up at me with those huge blue eyes at 3 in the morning when he was brand new and that seems like just a few weeks ago....and partly because he's so not 21. 21 is responsible and motivated and moving forward. His 21 isn't. Convincing him to not enlist and keep going to school seems futile - I haven't tried but I've thought about it.

I'm going to go read The Hunger Games - which I've been reading since last Friday. 3/4 through and can hardly put it down. Perhaps why I am having trouble getting up -like my 13 year old self, I'm reading way late into the night....

Codes

2012-01-14T15:23:00.000-08:00

Another productive yet relaxing Saturday in process.

Started the morning with a 2 mile walk with a friend - she lives about 10 minutes away and her home is surrounded by fields and orchards. We walked 2 full miles in beautiful weather - cold but clear as a bell with no moisture (so no muddy shoes to deal with). It was a nice way to start the weekend - and I'm proud of myself not only for walking but for not using sleeping in as an excuse not to walk. She invited me last evening and I let her know that I planned to get up early and get my errands done and if I did that, I would call her and we would walk. But I slept in until approaching 9AM - and instead of deciding to run my errands and not walk, I called her and suggested I'd be there at 10:15 - and so we walked! Yeah us!

I ran a couple errands including getting gas for my car since before the winter break. Love my hybrid and love my commute. Treated myself to a light caramel frapp and got it for free thanks to my Gold Card reward coupon!!

B. is off work already so we're going to treat ourselves to dinner out around 5....

J. and the boys are heading over the hill tomorrow to visit with family that's flying up from So. Cal for the day. I will work around the homestead.

The house had a couple projects completed this week - the fence is repaired and looks great. And we finally got the dryer vent cleaned out - identifying yet another code violation (the house is full of them). A dryer vent isn't supposed to be too long - ours spans the entire width of the three car garage and to compensate for that length, they used a much wider width tube. I can't believe the stuff the guy pulled out of the vent - it was incredible. He also (frighteningly) confirmed that at one point, the lint did ignite - thankfully, it didn't spread to all the lint surrounding the 'lighting element' and the lint just burned out on it's own. But holy crap - that's scary!

The dryer is drying things at least 60% faster now so we are sure we will save tons of $$ on our electric and gas bill. We will definitely have that service done annually from now on - never, ever want to risk a fire and now that we see the huge difference in drying time, it's not something we will not keep up with ever again.

Next repair project is the front door - the lock needs to be redone...and that means technically every lock should be redone so we keep the same keys. We also need a new back sliding door and I think that will be the next 'big thing' we do - hopefully sometime this spring or summer. The house is 11 years old and it's showing it's age a bit...nice to get things done.

Three day weekend too!!

I Heart Saturday

2012-01-07T14:16:00.000-08:00

Love this day of the week...the wind down from busy-ness. I know it's spelled business - but then it appears I'm winding down from 'biz-ness' - and I'm not. I woke up at 7 and thought briefly about getting up - and then the next thing I knew, it was 9! That two hours between passed with vivid dreams that were strange but story filled. Me in a home with a little baby girl - a home that felt like my own but wasn't. Maybe a future grand baby? Time will tell. She was beautiful and sweet and I was very happy to be spending time with her. I love when I can remember dreams.

J. and I made a quick Costco run which wasn't that quick 'cuz he needed to fill up his car and the lines are unbelievably long on the weekends. We managed. Tonight we are planning to enjoy dinner at a favorite Mexican restaurant that Santa brought gift cards for this year - Casa Oroszco in Livermore. It's a rare thing to all be available and excited about dinner together - usually we're all here and there and rarely all able to plan a dinner...so that's nice and we're all looking forward to it.

I love Facebook because you see things that you would never see without it. My aunt just posted a video of an absolutely beautiful version of the song Hallelujah - four Norwegian artists performing the song. They articulate the lyrics so well that for the first time ever, I can understand the words...and their voices are just amazing. And then I love how the Internet makes it possible to immediately locate information on the artists and find the song on iTunes for the bargain price of 99 cents! Sold! It just amazes me how much richer my life is for being exposed to such amazing things and then being able to easily learn more about whatever I want to explore...I've been thinking about that a lot lately - how amazing it is that we are created to experience things so individually and so deeply. How music can take me to a place where I am so enraptured with the feelings and the melody and the lyrics. What an amazing thing our minds and hearts and souls combine to provide us with such joy - and in so many forms. Written, spoken, sung....we have so much capacity for such an amazing experience....if we just allow ourselves to be swept away in any given moment. Also on Facebook last week was a post of new songs from Snow Patrol - the album comes out this Tuesday and again, a couple songs struck a chord in me right away - so I've pre-ordered the album.

I can't imagine what our grand kids will have at their fingertips someday.

Return to Early

2012-01-05T05:32:00.000-08:00

Up before 4:30 today - able to cruise the internet and tend my Facebook games without rushing. Heading in to make a 2nd latte then up to shower. I am off tomorrow - which may end up being secret code for 'working at home part of the day and calling it a day off' but that's OK. Have a haircut appointment tomorrow afternoon and I need it - it's been six weeks which is way too long for short hair.

Day two post break went swimmingly AND I managed to wedge in a briskly paced 1/4 mile walk as a 'break'. No, it wasn't that far - but since my goal is simply to move more as often as I can, I am glad to have done something. Intended to get on the Bow Flex when I got home - but the kids were home and things became complicated. I needed wine but I suck at opening wine - so I skipped it and chatted with my sweet cousin instead. She's a good listener and I love chatting with her....

The other thing about the day yesterday is I ate very carefully and very healthfully - including drinking a V-8, eating Cuties as snacks, sunflower seeds (shelled) and yogurt and oatmeal for breakfast. If I can do that more often than not, I will start seeing some 'results' from my moving more.....here's hoping.

We have no weekend plans other than house stuff and a trip to Costco for the annual purchase of Turbo Tax. Might as well start torturing myself now - we are going to owe a massive amount this year and I'd like to start wrapping my head around that number as soon as possible. I keep reminding myself that we must be OK because at least this year, we aren't also paying for a trip to Mexico....no vacation planned this year - there's no budget for it and no time in my work calendar. The new finance system conversion will make the summer seem non-existent in terms of any time off...another reason why I am attempting to be off when possible 'cuz soon, it won't be possible at all.

I have a couple meetings today so we'll see how much I get done - better get to it. Sooner I get there, the sooner I can head home - I am also doing pretty well this week at leaving on time. That's a nice change, too....we'll see how long that lasts.

12 Hours

2012-01-03T19:13:00.000-08:00

I made it! First day back and I survived! Alarm went off at 4:50 and in my confused state, I hit the 'sleep' button instead of the 'snooze' buttong - which makes the radio continue to play for an hour.....and the only way to shut it off is to 'run down' the timer. I managed to do that successfully without going back to 59 minutes even once (I usually end up having to try a couple times to get it to stop at zero) - and then I was so awake, I just got up. At my desk by 7 as planned -

It was a good day - busy and productive and 'fun' (relatively speaking).

I left at 4 (ON TIME!! and very early for me) and then went to the neighborhood near us built around a man-made lake and walked/jogged for about 20 minutes. Barely. My legs were spaghetti like pretty quickly into the circuit and then my feet started cramping up - I limped back to my car. I need new shoes with wider toes so I don't cramp up so much. I didn't go as long as I'd hoped - but then I remind myself 'hey, you DID go and you DID walk/jog - and that's better than you've done in a long, long time so lighten up. You will do more the next time. And more still the time after that'. That's the goal. Any movement is better than no movement - and I do what I can. Somedays, I might walk more. Eventually, my goal is to 'run'. I want to be a runner. It's effective, easy to do anywhere and I have had runners high a couple times in my life - in my very early years - and I like running. So I want to try again.

It's just after 7 and I can barely stay awake - so I'm not going to. I'm heading up to bed. I need to get back into sleeping earlier so getting up early isn't so hard. And I also need to listen to my weariness and go to bed when I feel tired - even if that's really early.

ER Update

2012-01-02T17:15:00.000-08:00

B. was home shortly after I posted this morning - kidney stone as expected. He was picked up by a friend and spent the day lounging around with friends. Called his work to let them know he has a note for a few days - the stone will pass in 2-3 days. J. picked up his pain meds. It will be a long week - he is a total wanny when it comes to any kind of pain. I know kidney stones hurt like the dickens...

I didn't work today. Oh well. My calendar is blissfully clear for the next couple days so I will hunker down and plow through. I did work a little at home yesterday so that will help.

The fence guy was great and we hired him. The estimate was less than 1/2 what we were expecting AND he's going to also repair the gate which has had issues since the pool install also. He will start work a week from today and finish in a day and half.

The sun is setting. It's been a great 17 days off. Hard to return tomorrow - but return, I must. J. is going to work at home tomorrow - so that will be nice. And we have a long weekend in two weeks - off two weeks from today for MLK day. Add to that Fridays off as often as possible the next few months....trying to use up days. My contract was changed effective January 1 (long story and I won't be sharing much - it was a good change) so I need to be sure I use up some of the 'extra' days I've worked so far this year. So I'm going to try to take off long weekends as often as I can.

Meatball subs are on the menu for tonight - using up leftover spaghetti sauce.

ER

2012-01-02T08:00:00.000-08:00

What is it about the New Year that results in medical emergencies? Two years ago, it was me. This morning, it is B. Awakened before 6 with commotion outside the bedroom door. B. in huge pain.....he's in the ER with J. and it's likely a kidney stone. And the poor kid is freaking out about the army. Will this prevent them from taking him? Might. That's a discussion for another day.

So I'm up way, WAY earlier than I have been for the preceding 16 days and noticed that it is pitch black outside at 7AM (which is when I'm usually at my desk - actually, usually earlier - 7AM is my latest). So that will be interesting in the morning -

Reading emails including one from a dear friend that had me laughing out loud and risking snorting coffee out my nose. She cracks me up - and I will be having dinner with her soon and can hardly wait to see her. She's recently retired and now that she doesn't work for the place we both used to work, I can't wait to converse about things - get caught up on the happenings. Retirement will be hard for her - and not. Easier than she thought it would be, I think. What's not to love about having nowhere to be and nothing that 'must be done' at any particular time? Sounds like heaven to me....

There is a constant 'buzzing' above my head - H.'s phone? I will go upstairs and check momentarily 'cuz I need to get showered and dressed. Not that I want to - but it's very cold in just my nightgown and I need to get bundled up in layers.

We have a fence repair guy coming to give us an estimate at 11AM. The side yard fence has never been 'right' since the pool company removed a section to get the little backhoe in to dig the pool - and it's losing boards right and left. So we're getting estimates on getting that repaired. Have a list of 'home projects' that we've pended for some time but we're getting to where I can wedge them into our budget every few months. Will feel 'better' about the fence if I just bite the bullet and get it done. J. thinks the neighbors should pitch in - but I know we are responsible for the issues - no other fencing is having issues of remaining standing and it was us who dug a cement pond in our backyard - not our neighbors. Hopefully won't be hugely expensive - the boards are still good - just need to be secured in place.

I am also planning a couple hours at my desk at work. Ugh. But better to attempt to refresh my memory when there are no people present than to spend tomorrow gasping and fretting when my team can witness my distress. My memory isn't what it used to be and a fair amount of time will be spent just recalling where I left off on various things. I will feel 'better' having taken some time to sort through, prioritize and cull what I can....

My feet are numb with cold....so I need a hot shower. 2012 is looking exciting already!!

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T21:10:00.000-08:00

~~~~~~ New York! ~~~~~~

Just kissed my sweet hubby and we are enjoying the V. Sattui Moscato - a delicious sparkling wine.....

I doubt I will be vertical when the west coast hits midnight - so we're celebrating now.

2012 is going to be a great year - 2011 was great in many ways and very challenging in others. ~~Some~~Many of those challenges are resolved and/or resolving which should make this coming year a little easier -

I start this year totally immersed in gratefulness for my many blessings. Have abundant love in my life and so many other blessings - truly, we are so incredibly blessed. God is so good.

Two days left of our wonderful seventeen day vacation - a stay-cation of the finest kind.

Happy New Year, everyone - may 2012 bring you any and all things you desire - blessings to you and yours from me and mine.

Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T19:25:00.000-08:00

Awesome, wonderful day finishing up here. We're still waiting for dinner to be done - I am starting to think our oven temp is off by about 50 degrees or so. The prime rib is out and looks delicious. Side dishes and rolls are in the oven. Pie is awaiting top crust, milk wash, light sprinkling of sugar and then a bake while we eat. It's blackberry and it's going to be delicious!

Santa was very good to us and J. and I are both loving our new Kindle Fires. I LOVE being able to have access to recipes online without printing - it will save a lot of time, paper and clutter to just look up recipes and use the Kindle right in the kitchen. I bought FOUR books for $1.99 - all four for 50 cents each! It's a new series and seems interesting. Vampires. I know. What is it about that 'theme'? But it's entertaining and a nice escape which is what reading is for me. This series is about a housewife/mom who is attacked and becomes a vampire - and then started being a private investigator so she could work out of her home. It's fun already - looking forward to all the books in the series.

The boys have been quietly ensconced upstairs most of the day - H.'s room got some 'spiffing up' in the form of a lava lamp and black light - which he is crazy about. I gave the OK for he and his friends to 'graffiti' one of his walls as long as it's not anything obscene or bad language. He's excited about that - fluorescent paint! A project to keep him busy before the next semester of school starts.

B. got a running gadget that he's very excited about - it syncs his music to his pace and he loves it!

We had a wonderfully fun morning with lots of laughs. Chloe got her annual packet of toys and was so excited - as always!

It's been a beautiful Christmas and I'm looking forward to snuggling with my Kindle shortly after dinner. The dishwasher is on it's 3rd run of the day and one more to go. We have leftover homemade quiches for breakfast tomorrow - and cinnamon rolls, too!

This week, we plan to head to Livermore for a Casa O dinner - Santa brought us gift cards!

I hope everyone had a wonderful day....Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Eve 2011

2011-12-24T22:45:00.001-08:00

Church was lovely - but not as lovely as in the past. No communion which really disappointed me. One of my favorite parts has been singing "Silent Night" with just candle light and feeling the warmth of communion. They skipped it - we had the candlelight but they handed us our candles as we came in - though our pastor said 'come back at 11PM - we're serving communion at that service'. It was a long service even without communion - so I sort of see why they skipped. But it's disappointing. Change is always hard - I'm always saying that, I know - and it feels so different with our new music director. I just don't like his 'style' - it's hard to describe - but I don't care for it. I want the music to speak for itself - and he talks a lot. 'Preaches' a lot - which I don't feel is his 'role'. I know it seems 'judgy' - it feels 'judgy'....but I don't want every song to be interspersed with him. I want the music to be THE MUSIC - and that is enough.

He did a very 'upbeat' fast-paced 'Oh Holy Night' - my favorite of all Christmas carols - but it should be reverent and grand. Not fast and lively. It felt totally wrong to me. Really disappointing.

On a great note, though - for the first time I can ever recall - I did not have an ounce of sadness in my heart. We honored our parents with poinsettias on the altar (as we do every year) and I really, truly felt they were right there with us. Not one choked up moment or any teary eyes. Just the joy of celebrating the birthday of Jesus - it felt great! I miss my mom - but I felt her with me....and I haven't felt that in a long time. That part was lovely.

The boys came home and H. went out to visit a friend who is Muslim. They spend Christmas Eve together every year. He just got home. B. watched a little bit of The Santa Clause and he went upstairs. J. is putting the finishing touches on getting stuff ready - and I'm heading up to bed soon. Hoping to be up around 7ish to put on a big pot of coffee and get a couple home-made quiches in the oven for breakfast.

We invented a new beverage - from scratch hot cocoa with eggnog and just a teeny bit of brandy! (The boys didn't have the brandy part....just me and J.). It was delicious!

Tomorrow's dinner is prime rib, mashed potatoes, roasted brussels sprouts, green bean casserole, crescent rolls and blackberry pie for dessert. Or cobbler. Haven't decided which one.

Looking forward to our happy morning - Christmas is always one of the best days of the year. It's fun and relaxing and always worth all the effort.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Blessings to you all - near and far.

Peace on Earth

2011-12-22T14:11:00.000-08:00

Pannini

2011-12-22T13:54:00.000-08:00

I have no idea how to spell pannini - and it's not in the dictionary. I'm referring to the delicious, grilled sandwich not an Italian painter.

Anyway....things are humming along here today. We got out the pannini grill and whipped up delicious sandwiches - just like Raley's only better! Yummy! I'm picturing toasted Nutella sandwiches for breakfast tomorrow - we don't have Nutella and have never had Nutella but a friend of mine raves about it and can't keep it in her house 'cuz she will eat the entire jar with a spoon - that sounds pretty delicious! So I'm convinced we need to try it - and intend to get some at the grocery later today.

The tree is finally 'finished' - and my sweet husband took the time to set up my beautiful nativity scene. I will post a pic soon - it is one of my all time favorite things in my life. The pieces are stored individually in their boxes protected by styrofoam. It's not easy to get them all unpacked and repacked each year - but it's so pretty. I finished the collection via e-Bay the year I had been laid off from my banking job. Spending money on things was the absolute LAST thing I should have been doing at that point - but I found a bunch of pieces on eBay I never knew existed (it's an Avon set) and so I bought every one I didn't have. It's complete....and a family treasure, I hope.

H. is helping me clean out cupboards and drawers in all the bathrooms. He's also doing yard work, etc. I know it sounds like he's just the best kid ever (and he IS a wonderful person with a great heart and a keen mind - he is very smart and his first semester of college seems to have solidified that for him, which is great!) but he's really motivated by needing money. So it's a win-win. He helps me with chores that are time consuming and hard - and we have beautifully organized bathroom cupboards and tons of trash stuff culled out! It's great!

There are Amazon packages everywhere and wrapping tables set up in two rooms upstairs. We've shipped most of the gifts - thought we were done and then J. had to get things from his brother for the nieces so we need to get those in the mail tomorrow - they won't make it there by Sunday but they will arrive Monday or Tuesday. I did my best to not be irritated that we had just shipped our gifts to the same two girls the day before - planning is not a family strength, apparently.

I worked a bit on Tuesday - arrived just in time to have the custodial staff be starting the process of cleaning the carpets - so I went next door and my boss was working - he was ready for lunch so we had a pleasant, delicious meal at a sushi place that we don't get to often. Back to the office for a couple of hours of tidying up - not enough to 'count' and yet good to feel like I was culling/tidying out there, too. I don't plan to work much this week but will work a bit next week. And I'm OK with that...have many projects looming and the more I get going on them, the less torturous January will be.

Heading back upstairs to continue culling the boys bathroom. I found a ton of those 'fizzy' bath things - H. is so excited. He LOVES putting those fizzy balls in his bath -

And every day so far this break, he has lovingly traveled to Starbucks to get his mama a daily Trenta iced tea. I could brew it here but it's a 'treat' - and since I'm not spending my usual $3 at McDonald's everyday (egg burrito and two large iced teas), I can 'splurge' on one awesome iced tea.

It's going to be a great Christmas. I can feel it!

Happiness

2011-12-15T06:20:00.000-08:00

Earlier this week, I lunched with a former co-worker. His role in our district was an interim Administrator and he's moved on to his next assignment. He's currently working at the other school district in my town so it was a great opportunity to visit with him while he's still nearby.

He gives good counsel and is someone I admire and respect. He's had so many things in his life that could color his glasses a dull shade of gray - but he lives a happy, blessed, meaningful life....in spite of it all. He is one of the most selfless, ego-less people I've ever met and his desire to do the right thing just shines through in all he does.

We had a great time reminiscing about his stint in our district....catching up on all the happenings since he left.

And we talked about being happy.

Do you ever wonder why some people manage to be so miserably unhappy day after day after day? We've all met them - probably even worked with them. Maybe even lived with them. They (apparently) wake up every single day and look for something to be pissed off about. They find reasons to be miserable. They create crisis because as long as there's something for them to moan and groan about, they feel 'good' about their days.

I think I sort of used to be like that - my younger years were fraught with tons of drama. Every little thing a crisis. And then I grew up and 'matured' (whatever that means). And I also learned to step outside my perspective and my experiences and consider someone else's. Crisis creators can't do that very well. They can't step outside their box.....

Every single day, we wake up with the opportunity to start over. Every single day is a fresh start. I love how God has provided such a wonderful gift - sleep to restore and refresh us and the day starting anew every 24 hours. Whatever happened yesterday is done and over and mute. And today is just full of new opportunities and new possibilities. A chance for happy every single moment of every single day.

And happy starts with awaking and choosing to be happy. It is a choice.

Sure, some days you just can't get past it all. Been there....recently, in fact. But most days, I wake up choosing to give myself a fresh start. Choosing to forget whatever happened the day before (or the day before that....etc.) that had me so flummoxed. Maybe waning memory skills as we age is another of God's gifts 'cuz the forgetting does seem to be easier.

My friend reminded me to cut myself some slack...and to start anew everyday. And to forgive those around me who find happiness to be such a challenge. They just haven't learned how to 'reset' each day - and maybe they never will. Leading by example is the best thing I can do for them - and for myself.

Hump Day

2011-12-14T06:31:00.001-08:00

We're so close to the break, we can almost....taste it? Feel it? Believe it may actually, truly be HERE? Today and tomorrow are meeting days and Friday is a catch-up day with few scheduled things - and then it's home free.....

I've done most of our shopping on the Internet so the entry way and living room are littered with a wide variety of packages. Looking forward to an evening at home this evening (and hopefully getting home by 4ish which I have not been able to do in some time) and starting to get things unboxed and wrapped. This weekend, we will ship to family and hope they make it in time. I think most will -

I've got another 'ear thing' which I'm attempting to ignore. I have an appointment Monday with the ENT and there's nothing I'd love more than to arrive with an ear infection and show her that THIS is what I'm talking about - lingering, ongoing symptoms that leave me feeling malaised and exhausted - and won't resolve without antibiotics. So I sort of hope to continue the (fairly) mild symptoms until that appointment on Monday - which will include a throat scope because I still maintain that the source of the issue is in my voice box area...where no doctor can see without special tools....

We have our work party tomorrow evening and I am still debating about my White Elephant gift - I have no idea what to get for a gift when it's supposed to be stupid, pointless and meaningless. It just seems wrong - but we have been gifting our recipient for a couple weeks with little surprises here and there....so perhaps ending with something totally ridiculous isn't that 'wrong'. It's just hard for me to gift something like that.....

That's it for now - time to head out into the cold to defrost the ice off the car windows. Three car garage and no cars in it....something's wrong with that....

Weekend Plans

2011-12-09T18:07:00.000-08:00

I lunched with a co-worker today and she asked 'so what are your plans this weekend?' And for the first time in a very, VERY long time, I responded:

I AM NOT WORKING!

Yeah! I am so excited about a weekend off, I am practically giddy! I resolved all the issues, prepped for board, prepared all the 'stuff' I am required to prepare and am ready to go. Next week will be busy and it's a slide into Winter Break! I am getting excited about Christmas and can't wait to go shopping tomorrow. And wrap gifts for family and get them ready to ship.

Maybe even do Christmas cards. We haven't done those in such a long time - but it would be nice to start again. I think I stopped the December of 2001 because after 9/11, I just didn't have the will to write meaningless family details given what was still so recent of a monumentally horrible event in our history.

But it's 2011 now and maybe it's time. Even just a couple quick notes to people I do think of often and appreciate hearing from now and then.

The tree is in the house and we WILL decorate this weekend (family, are you listening?)!

This time a week from now, I'll be hysterically happy about being off for SEVENTEEN straight days!!

Lumpy

2011-12-06T19:11:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling 'on edge' lately....walking on egg shells with a giant lump in my throat and tears almost always ready to spill over. The slightest little thing can set me off....

True, work has been hugely challenging lately. Maybe five years is 'enough' of this madness? I dream of just having a 'job'. Just a job. I go in at 8. I leave at 4:30. I take two 15 minutes breaks and walk or sit and read. I go to the park for lunch or home to walk the dog. I do good work that I enjoy with really nice people and at 4:30 every day, I pack it up and go home, leaving work behind....until the next day.

I don't have that kind of job. Never had have that kind of job. I've been managing people since I was 20. And I'm proud of that. And I am blessed - ya'll know I feel that way...truly blessed. My job is a wonderful job. But it is not an eight hour a day job and I have been 'out of sorts' about all that for a month or more. Haven't quite been able to figure out what's up with my psyche. I am angry and pissy and overwhelmed and fed up. And as hard as I try, I can't figure out what has me in such a funk - 'cuz really, I love the work! I really do! So WTF is up with me??

This morning, as I pulled out of the driveway, I realized why. Late last night, J. reminded me. Pretty sure this is when it all started....

B.'s car wasn't here this morning - and that's because he went to Sacramento last night. This is actually the second time in about a month he's been up there - he is taking his medical exams for enlisting.

The first time he went, I literally had that painful sore throat feeling you get when you are all choked up about something and just want to cry for hours. All day.

And that day, he came home so discouraged. He hadn't been able to do some 'move' - couldn't squat down and JUMP up without using his fingers or something to 'touch' the floor as he stood up. A 'required' move for being a Ranger, apparently. He was so down....sure he'd blown it.

I had walked around that entire day with that lump in my throat - and when he came home all discouraged, my instinct was to 'seal the deal'. Tell him it was for the best. He should just continue going to school, working at Savemart and figure out 'what's next' when the 'what's next' actually got there - after he graduates with some four year degree from a school he can attend without him (or us) having to go into debt to pay for it.

But I didn't do that. I tamped down the ache in my throat - and helped him think it through. He psyched himself out about that move. Worried that the knee he dislocated his freshman year of high school would do something like dislocate again (worst case) or make a lot of noise or lock up. So he scared himself into not doing that move. And I told him 'so worst case is: you wanted to be a Navy Seal and you are only going into the Rangers because you want that in your contract. So you go into the Navy and work your way into the program - risk that it's not in your contract but it's always been what you want - so just go for what you want to do. And it will all work out'. It was a good talk - and I was proud of my 'mothering' - something I admit I often don't feel patient enough to do. But I did it.

About 20 minutes after that conversation, he did the move - all on his own. Look Mom, no hands! And then he thanked me for talking to him about it and said it really helped.

This morning, his car wasn't here because he went up for the re-test. A lot hinged on today in his dream plans. And as I pulled out of the driveway, the lump was there again - in all it's glory. I felt on the verge of tears most of the day....

He did fine. He didn't even have to do the damn move for this doctor - they did feet xrays and examined his feet - measured his toes, etc. So we'll see -

All you ever dream for your kids is that they find something they feel passionate about and do it well.

And that's what I'm learning right now - that it's not my dream that counts. It's theirs. It's his. This is what he's always wanted - it's the one thing he's stuck with (sure, the branch of service has changed over the years) - but military is what he's wanted for a long time.

And it appears it may happen. If all goes according to plan, he will head to basic training in Georgia sometime close to the start of summer. Still much to 'wait and see' about - but that's what it's looking like for now.

I need to let go. And I need to get Skype.

And a huge, HUGE hello to my Aunt M. who left a comment!! Yeah!! There are people actually reading - thank you so much, my sweet M. I love you!!

Chilly

2011-12-03T07:31:00.000-08:00

7:30AM on Saturday - I've been up for an hour. Loaded the dishwasher as quietly as I could. Paid bills online. Confirmed we are solvent for at least the next week. Opened some mail that has been piling up and put 98% of it in either shred or recycle. Will start dishwasher momentarily when I head upstairs to shower. This is a weekend but I am treating it as a 'normal workday' in an effort to get my brain to accept what has to be done before I can sleep tomorrow night. Someone called me yesterday to follow-up on something I 'owe' him - our annual audit - and I basically had to politely say that I am whittling away at things as quickly as possible - it's going to be a long, long weekend of long, long days - but the weight will lift. I know this time of year is always massively crazy...and I manage to survive every year.

H., two of his friends and J. went to the Stockton Thunder hockey game last night - the elementary school the boys attended had their band invited to play the National Anthem...I was so relieved when the girlfriend of H.'s friend wanted to go 'cuz I really needed to just make it an early Friday evening and was more than happy to give her my ticket. Sounds like they had a great time and there were a lot of fights - J. will tell me more later. Why is that such a 'thing' in hockey? Isn't it poor sportsmanship to fight? I don't get that. There's a bobble head on the kitchen counter so it must have been a give away night.

It's cold in here. The street is piled high with leaves for the sweeper - only every house in the neighborhood (including ours) has cars parked on the street - so the poor sweeper can rarely get to the leaves. All carefully piled up to await the next gale that blows through and scatters them again. Our neighborhood is now 11 years old so the trees are HUGE - so many leaves EVERYWHERE. And all of our neighbors have trees that lose leaves hanging over our fences so we get the joy of raking their leaves, too....

That's it - this is all the 'leisure' time I can afford - I have work I could do at home but I know myself. It's hard to work at home - too many distractions. I'm better off just being in my office and plowing through.

Two more weeks before Winter Break.....

Getting a Grip

2011-12-01T20:07:00.000-08:00

Holy crap, people....this has been such a week. Seriously - one of the hardest work weeks I've EVER had and as this blog can (and does) allude to, that's saying something.

I am so hard on myself. Mistakes happen and they are fixable. I always tell everybody that - it's fixable. But when it comes to applying that mantra to myself, I seem incapable. Which is ridiculous. And then I beat myself up for being hard on myself....and the spiral starts. And dooowwwwwnnnn we go.....

The issues are officially resolved though not without a fair amount of self-doubt, frustration and a desire to pack it in, sell our house and go live in a trailer on a beach somewhere. All completely do-able - at least sort of.

If only I didn't enjoy the 'creature comforts' so much - like running water, heat and AC, food, Starbucks and high speed internet. Oh - and a milk frother/warmer for my lattes. And the latte machine. Guess that's a big list already - which is why we don't live in a trailer and why I don't want to quit, actually.

I will be working all weekend - and I have worked 12+ hour days all week this week. And worked two days last week though I swore I wouldn't. And one of the things I'm beating myself up about is that I should have worked ALL week last week - but I didn't. And the stuff hitting the fan about that decision started around noon on Monday and hasn't let up since.

It's a long, slow slide into the winter break....which I was really looking forward to only the events of this week make me feel like I'd better just keep working 'cuz once you're behind, you pay for it somewhere down the road.

I need to head upstairs (it is 8:14PM) so I can get up again at 3 and be in my office by 5ish if at all possible. This morning, I dared to 'sleep in' until 5:30 but I paid for that 'cuz I didn't have my morning 'alone' time (people start arriving around 7) and that set the day in motion for another day of doing a zillion things that I didn't have on my MUST DO TODAY OR ELSE list.

I know it will be OK....it always ends up OK. The self-loathing lifted a bit yesterday as I reconfirmed with my boss the status, the plan, the correction and confirmation that I was done fretting about it and I was moving forward.

But today brought all that and then some crashing back...for no particular reason except that there is just so much 'drama' commencing around a host of other things that I cannot write about, I get mired down in it. It's not possible to completely shield myself from it - and as it affects others I am responsible for, it's on my watch so that requires 'miring' by definition.

For every horribly hard moment I have, there are dozens more that are amazingly great - and those will arrive again soon. They always do. I just hope I'm awake when they start so I'll notice.

Yesterday, J. left a note on the counter to please turn on his coffee maker (he drinks drip coffee). He had to up very early (just after 4) to go in for a breakfast meeting. I was so disoriented (I had apparently sat up pretty much asleep for 20 minutes 'cuz I was shocked to realize it was 4 - I was sitting up by 3:30) that for some reason, the lack of a light on his coffee pot (timer wasn't set) indicated it was unplugged. I can't reach the plug - sometimes I think this house was built for giants or people with freakishly long arms - so I had to get our little step stool so I could reach. Then I sat there pondering why the light still wasn't on. I had plugged in the blender. His coffee pot was plugged in - finally my brain kicked in and I just pushed the 'brew now' button so it would start. Then instead of pouring the water out of my milk warmer, I poured milk into the sink and started warming water....the water I put in it every night to rinse it. So that's why I slept in a bit this morning. I didn't want a repeat of 'vertical but not really functioning at optimum efficiency' episode of yesterday.

It's 8:30 and I need sleep. Everything's monumentally better after some sleep.

American

2011-11-29T04:22:00.000-08:00

I've been up for over an hour (already - it's 4:22 AM) and before heading upstairs to get ready to go in, I read that American Airlines has filed for Chapter 11. Yowza....that's not good.

Today, I give you a rhyme/poem of my own making. Weird rhyming jumped into my head as I was drifting off to sleep and I'm actually able to remember most of it this morning. A miracle....

GRATEFUL

I am grateful for a roof over my head
And blankets on my bed

For food in the fridge
And that I could play Bridge

For love in my life
'Cuz I am someones wife

For being a Mom
Though some days are long

For starting each day
In a positive way

For the day to start
With God in my heart

For being pretty happy
Though feeling sort of sappy

Life is a blessing -

Ready, set, go!

Reality Bites

2011-11-27T18:56:00.000-08:00

(The title is a repeat for my cousin S. who I just chatted with via Facebook - used that exact phrase to describe my perspective on returning to work tomorrow)....it sucks. But it must be done. I worked today in my office - to hopefully get a head start on tomorrow and get regrouped and ready for three of the busiest weeks of the year. I feel stressed out about things - and that's not a word I use often. But I am stressed. I know it will all get done - but I have a lot of 'fear' feelings lately - not fear of anything in particular - just in general. There are a lot of things to juggle at one time and I constantly feel like I will miss something any minute. Oh well. It's my job.

There's a lot happening at work these days that I won't write about. Some things are great and awesome. Some are not. Some affect me. Some don't....but in my role, most things have a way of trickling in my direction. There are a lot of challenging things happening - 'monumental challenges' which is an inside joke phrase we use a lot lately. All of the challenges are surmountable and fixable - but the massive efforts required to get there are so taxing and exhausting. I go in every day with massive lists and a 'can-do' attitude - but lately, I just feel exhausted and it all seems so 'never-ending'. I know things will even out soon. I'm confident they will. It's been a long few months and hopefully, much will be resolved in the next few weeks - and from there, it will be smooth(er) sailing - I hope.

Chloe is home and recovering nicely. She had one tooth pulled. We kept her on pain meds yesterday but she ate kibble this morning with no problem so we're not giving her the meds anymore. She's doing well. She needs a bath (hopefully tomorrow or Tuesday) and she's still exhibiting some symptoms that trouble us - but have no 'defined' cause yet. If they persist, then we'll have to pay for a bunch of blood work. We're trying the simple things first. We'll see. She's eating, drinking, peeing, pooping and running around here like her usual self - so I'm confident she's OK. Just still itchy and doing a weird thing with her mouth...kind of a 'tremor' thing. We'll keep an eye on her.

J. and I managed to do some Christmas shopping yesterday - Target was unbelievably not crowded. I had to get some things for our Secret Santa gifting at work - so we also shopped a bit for the boys. The usual....under the tree things.

The kids couldn't handle turkey again last night so we went to Olive Garden. We ate leftovers today (Olive Garden leftovers) so tomorrow, it's back to turkey and fixings. I didn't cook nearly as much as usual - cut down on stuffing and green beans....but we still have so much leftover. Maybe we'll try to freeze the turkey meat and I can make Turkey and Gnocchi soup during the winter break.

We're watching Amazing Race - so glad the older couple are still in it! We are rooting for them!

Post Post

2011-11-25T18:01:00.000-08:00

A post-Thanksgiving post....

Quiet day on the homestead. Other than the steady hum of the always (seemingly) running dishwasher today, it's been peaceful.

B. had friends over last night and he apparently slept on the couch most of the night. No idea why. I got up just after 7 and started working on the kitchen around 8. In spite of running the dishwasher four times yesterday, there were still three loads to go. The roasting pan and rack take up pretty much one load - and then we used our fine china for dinner so that's another load. I didn't hold back and puttered and cleaned away - and he slept through it all. He's off until Sunday and he's enjoying his 'leisure' time.

I worked on work stuff and got stuff done. The weekend is almost over and the massive pile of stuff I need to get done is not decreasing all that much. But I resisted the urge to think 'there's always tomorrow' and buckled down and got some stuff done - love working remotely whenever possible. More tomorrow - and more tonight, too. Steady work over the next two days will make my week go more smoothly. Still much to do - and so many meetings. Only three weeks left before Christmas break! Sort of a 'yeah' and a 'holy crap!' blended together.

No shopping today. I've crossed another couple gifts off my list via Internet shopping. Might (MIGHT) go to Target tomorrow or Sunday just for a treat -

We will decorate next weekend, hopefully.

I have no idea what we're going to give the kids for Christmas. Here's the thing - and I could use advice/thoughts so please add a comment. Or email me. The boys owe us a fortune (each). H. owes us close to $700 for tickets. B. owes us hundreds for car insurance - he never seems to have the $ at the first of the month. So our usual 'scavenger hunt' seems like a waste of $ - giving them money when they owe us money.

So we are considering proceeding as usual - they will have clues and envelopes with their names - and after they return to the family room to count their loot, we are considering presenting them each with a detailed 'statement' of what they owe. And then either a) take the money back towards their debt or b) let them decide how much of their obligation they want to pay back.

I know it's the 'right' thing to do - but it feels horrible. Still, I don't know what else to do. We are shelling out $500 a month for car insurance - and $300 of that is supposed to be covered by the boys - but it's rarely covered. And H.'s tickets have to be paid - and he has no money. So we have to pay them for him.

I always want Christmas to be magical. And it seems so Scrooge like to take all their 'gift' money back towards their debts. But then it seems so stupid to be giving them MORE money.

I don't know what to do. And there's nothing they need or want that can go under the tree as a 'substitute'. Oh - Hunter wants cable TV (with a new TV, of course) in his bedroom - but I am refusing to do that. No way. We're not adding additional monthly outgo for that. No way.

I feel guilty even writing this 'cuz we are so, so blessed....but it's really bothering me.

Maybe the answer is: they both have non-liquid savings (stock) that they can cash in. It's for college - but it's theirs. They could use some of that to pay off their debts and add a little to their savings accounts. Then their gift money can really be gift money?

Their only request is a trip to San Fran which we will definitely do sometime during our two week break.

Back to work. It's nice to just move from the study to the dining room and get stuff done.

2011-11-24T19:12:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T10:34:00.000-08:00

Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!

2011-11-23T10:11:00.000-08:00

The morning started with J. tearing downstairs, heading outside and running the trash bin down the street to catch the trash truck that had just driven by. I hold myself somewhat responsible 'cuz I was down here an hour before that and the trash cans are directly out the window of my desk - and it never 'clicked' with me that 'hey, those cans should all be at the curb'. We managed to get the actual 'trash' picked up - the bio bin will be another two weeks. Thankfully, we're not doing a lot of yard stuff these days so it will wait. Poor J. . What a way to start the day - and thanks to the Tracy trash guys for emptying the can. We'd be up a creek to wait another week - especially with all the trash to be created from cooking our feast. Everyone's on 'holiday' this week and we're all sort of out of our 'routine'.

H. is supposed to go to the grocery with me - driving all the way to WinCo. It is seriously worth the trip for a 'big' shopping trip - saves a fortune. But I need support 'cuz it's just a lot to shop for it all, then bag it, load it into the car, etc. I miss Raley's 'full service' but don't miss Raley's full service prices. So for a HUGE shop, I go to WinCo. J. is in the shower now and has agreed to accompany me. I see Light Caramel Frapps in our future as our 'treat'. And as breakfast. I know H. is willing to go but waiting for him to get up is just not worth it. I know - you're thinking 'go wake him up!'. Also not worth it. Thankful J. will go with me....the help is nice. The list is long. And we've already procured most of what we need (or so I thought). It's a big day of cooking and I'm going to start making some things when we get home from the grocery.

I saw Breaking Dawn Part 1 yesterday and loved every single second! I hope to go again between now and Monday - it was terrific! It's going to be very hard to wait another year for the finale...

It's cold today - very cold....makes moving even harder.

J. is dressed - and it sounds like H. is in the shower so perhaps he will make the trip with me after all. He's good company - (as is J.)....H. has registered for classes at Delta CC which has a satellite campus in Mountain House. MUCH closer to home thus saving a fortune on gas. And it will be more 'fun' for him because many of his friends are attending classes there. We are anxious to see their grades - should arrive during the winter break, we hope.

Hoping to enjoy the Macy's parade in the morning while cooking up a storm.

Happy Thanksgiving! And happy birthday to my mom in heaven.

Happenings

2011-11-20T12:42:00.001-08:00

Just a list of stuff that's going on around here.....

H. cleaned out his closet and brought down two good size garbage bags full of clothes to donate. He found a Ralph Lauren Polo brand polo (collared) shirt that he thinks is 'swag'. He loves it. We think it was J.'s dad's but we're not sure. He also found a nice t-shirt that he bought his sophomore year and hasn't worn. Behold the joy of cleaning out your closet!

I made homemade granola this morning and it's pretty tasty. My only 'goof' was using shelled pistachios - which are a bit salty. Should have doubled the honey to balance out the salt - but it's still really good. I might do another round of honey and toast a teeny bit longer. It's delicious in Greek yogurt!

The boys had a big blowup today over nothing in particular and everything at the same time. They are both 'men' now and when 'men' fight, it's loud and scary. I was here alone with them and broke it up by yelling at them both and sending them to opposite corners of the house. They both have to be 'right' in their stance and there's no talking them out of it. I'm thinking if it happens again today or tomorrow, I'm going to send them both out for a few days on their own - they can return for Thanksgiving dinner and we'll see then about having them live here. It's just scary with 'adults' fighting and I'm not having that in this house. Period. End of story. All stupid stuff.....

I am off for the week - which means I'll work off and on at home and there on various projects. MUST DO THIS. Remind me, 'kay? 'Cuz I am hugely behind on a variety of things that require attention. We return from this week off for three more weeks and then it's Christmas break - and those three weeks will absolutely zoom by.

I've got a pot of pinto beans in the crock pot for dinner tonight - either beans in a bowl or in a burrito - diner's choice. It's easy, filling, warming and 'on hand'. The turkey's in the fridge and the menu is planned - still have a little shopping to do but will take care of that errand Tuesday evening or early Wednesday morning.

H. got ANOTHER ticket - I haven't been keeping ya'll up on the 'count' but suffice it to say he is approaching the 'un-insurable' point. He is still in debt to us for the ticket we paid for a couple months ago - and now there's another one to add to the debt/collection. He doesn't pay attention and it's easy to go too fast - and I swear the cops in town have his license memorized and watch for him. I really do....

I'm going to get all the Harry Potter DVD's out and watch them from start to finish sometime during the break. And I'm going to see Breaking Dawn! Also get a hair cut. Chloe's getting her teeth cleaned on Friday so she has to get blood work on Wednesday. She's still not eating well - and she's still itchy. The antibiotics don't seem to be helping the itching much though the rash is better. She had another bath yesterday with her special shampoo and did her 'so clean, so proud' jaunt through the house. Then she rolled over on her back to scratch herself on the carpet.

Time to get to work on some work stuff in the dining room. We moved the BowFlex into the living room - still no furniture in there. It's the ugliest thing on the planet and HUGE - but it's easier to use it inside vs. in the freezing garage and J.'s been doing his shoulder exercises with it, which is great.

Shortly

2011-11-13T20:38:00.000-08:00

Weekends are just too fast....even long weekends. They just fly by. I feel bummed about it being Monday tomorrow - even though I only have five work days until enjoying another week off. Still, it will be a long week - and November and December are absolutely jammed full of stuff. I hope I snap out of this funk I'm in 'cuz otherwise, it's going to be a long couple of months. Usually my funks lift quickly but this one is sticking around for awhile....not helped by the change of seasons and the change in day light hours. Always hard to be 'in the dark' so much during this time of year.

J. and I had breakfast this morning with some old friends - it was a lot of fun to catch up and reminisce. J. and R. were band mates for 20+ years and R.'s wife C. and I used to hang out at gigs a lot when J. and I were dating. They are a wonderful couple and it's always fun to see them. Nice for J. and I to enjoy some adult company and some time 'out'.

We did a Costco shop immediately after and started to make lists for Christmas. I've already purchased gifts for some family members and feel 'ahead' of the game a bit, which is nice.

Chloe went to the vet on Friday. She's got a strange rash on her inner legs and she's a scratchy mess. And now she's not eating. They put her on antibiotics and gave us special shampoo. We've scheduled a teeth cleaning for her the Friday after Thanksgiving - $700 estimate! Yikes! The exam didn't show any reason for the itching or the change in appetite - so we try the simplest things first and see how it goes. It's hard to have her be uncomfortable - and it's hard to see her not eating. Very not like her....

Looking forward to Breaking Dawn Part I in a week or so. And we bought the DVD/Blue Ray of the final Harry Potter movie and I can't wait to watch it again. And again....

This time next week, I'll be enjoying a Sunday evening before a week off - and I'm hopeful that will make the difference. A week of accomplishing much and moving forward on the vast list of things to do should help. Fewer meetings this coming week so that should also help. I hope so. I am blue....and I have no idea why.

Even More Proud

2011-11-07T11:10:00.000-08:00

B. did make it to work today! He dragged himself out of bed and made it! Thus making me even MORE proud of his triathlon accomplishment!

Happy Monday!

Triathlete!

2011-11-06T18:03:00.000-08:00

B. survived his first Olympic length triathlon. 1 mile ocean (San Francisco Bay) swim....then a 20 mile bike ride....and lastly a 6 mile run. He finished in 3 hours and 25 minutes - not bad for a first timer. And certainly not bad for anyone 'cuz wow, that takes some serious commitment.

He is so sore he can barely move. And his feet are covered with blisters. He will likely not make it to work tomorrow.

We are very proud of him.

Here are some pics from his amazing day....

SUITING UP

FROM THE SEA (RED CAP)

NEARING THE FINISH

WITH HIS CREW CHIEF

Heating

2011-11-06T08:41:00.000-08:00

Morning! It's now the day when I have to 'remember' that my family in AZ is NOT an hour earlier.....now they are an hour later....which means if I want to chat with my cousin in the morning, I'll have to get up at 3:30! S., let's try for weekends, 'kay?

B. is swimming. He's hopefully finished - a mile in cold bay water. Brave young man. Wet suits don't cut that kind of cold, really...they just mask it. Soon to be biking and then running. J. says it's 'exciting'. Races always are, I guess. I hope he does well - and 'well' is defined as 'finishing'. The kid is driven when he puts his mind to something. He does not quit. Good traits to have.

I am up and heading to get dressed. Then planning to stop by my office for a bit to tidy up and pack up my laptop so I can do a couple quick things today at home. And then a host of errands - monthly pet shopping, etc.

I had to break down and turn on the heat this morning.....just couldn't handle it being so cold. The pets seem appreciative.

Dinner tonight is Pasta Carbonara with my Dean & DeLuca pancetta! Yummy!

Falling Back

2011-11-06T01:35:00.001-07:00

It's 1:35AM on Sunday...and I happen to be awake. So now I'm trying to stay awake to see how my computer's clock resets at 2AM for Daylight Savings Time. Bored? No....just not sleeping.

I am home alone with son #2 - J. and B. are in Marin for tonight - B. is participating in his first triathlon tomorrow morning (bright and early) and J. is his 'crew'.

H. was to be home at 10 for the night - earlier than usual because I started my day this morning with a raging migraine that had me throwing up. Stayed in bed most of the morning....and H. agreed to be home early 'cuz I'm not feeling that great and want to know where he is.

I woke at 12:20AM and he was not home. I called him and he was with a friend who had just gotten off work. He came home. He insisted he was home at 10PM - admitted he was a little late so it was closer to 10:30 - but he was home. I doubted that to be true because the house was exactly as it was when I went to bed. Same lights on (including one that shouldn't have been left on but I left it on 'cuz I was too tired to go to that side of the house and turn it of). No dishes in the sink or on the coffee table in the family room. [H. has a snack (meal!) every night before he goes to bed. Without fail. He's a bottomless pit. So no evidence of his '4th meal' is a pretty good clue he wasn't here.] So was he home? I don't know. But he didn't stay home if he was. So he's grounded. We will talk specifics tomorrow. It won't be a long grounding - but enough to remind him that when he says he will do something - come home for the night at 10PM - he needs to do it. Period. End of story. And most especially on a night when I am home alone and it's stormy outside and my head still feels like there's something inside it ready to explode any minute. Not throwing up anymore (thank God....truly....it's been a long, long time since I've had one of 'those' headaches and I just felt like 'please, God, please let it be over 'cuz truly, this is no way to feel'...horrible feeling....). We can talk things over at breakfast - pancakes and bacon!

Ironically, he was with a friend who was kicked out of her house by her mom - for being late multiple nights in a row. I reminded H. that keeping agreements is important - and since his friend is someone who has been through rehab and should know that regaining parental trust is hard, it seems she should realize that defying her mom's direction on what time to be home nightly isn't prudent. I don't like the idea of a young lady sleeping in her car - but I'm not getting in the middle of it. It's complicated. I work with her mother. 'Nuf said.

It's almost 2AM but really only 1AM. I love this time change - love gaining an extra hour. Love how tomorrow I will feel like I've gotten so much done with that 'extra' time. And since today was an 'in bed most of the day' kind of day, I've got loads to do....

The cat is seeking the warmth of feet to curl up on....he misses J.. Klink even headed to H.'s room (while we were talking) and then I realized that he was roaming all over H.'s bed - his pillow, especially - and that can't happen. H. is allergic to cats. As long as he doesn't come in direct contact with them, he is fine...but cat hair/dander on his bed linens would probably be bad. So Klink followed my instructions - he jumped down off the bed and came out of the room. Klink is good at doing what he's asked. You really can 'train' a cat. Sure, sometimes he blows me off. Usually at 5 in the morning when he refuses to exit the bedroom on cue so I can close the door as I head downstairs. But most of the time, he's pretty good at following directions.

H. should take note of that - A CAT is following instructions. Hmmmm....

It's now 1:52AM and I've decided I don't care what my computer's clock is going to do in 8 (now 7) minutes. It's cold in here. I'm taking some ibuprofen and drinking some water (I am positive the headache was triggered by me being dehydrated - I went to a work function last night and didn't drink nearly enough water before, during or after - and I had a headache when I arrived and nothing to take. Breaking two of my rules for migraine abatement: stay hydrated and ALWAYS have something with you in case a headache starts. It's been so long since one got out of control, I sort of forgot. And I had changed purses this past week so my Excedrin Migraine wasn't in my purse last night).

4 minutes and counting. If I keep blathering on about absolutely nothing, I might make it....

How exciting. At one minute after 1:59, the clock changed to 1:00.

It wasn't worth it. But happy to write a post to share how non-exciting it was.

PS - I noticed that the published time on the post is the time I started the post - not the actual time I hit 'post'. I'd never noticed that before. Not that it matters - I knew Blogger doesn't re-date a post - if you start it and save it and publish later, it's going to publish with the day you started it unless you reset...

Little things you notice when it's quiet and you're paying attention to date and time.

True....So True

2011-10-31T06:02:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween!

Puppy Love

2011-10-30T20:45:00.001-07:00

Oh - one more thing from today that I have to write about....

Chloe needed a bath...and so we bathed her at home. In hindsight, we should have tried the kitchen sink. Instead, we partially filled a plastic storage bin with warm water, placed her in it and scrubbed her clean. She was very good. A little shaky at first - we haven't bathed her at home very often so this was definitely 'new' to her. But she stayed still in the 'tub', didn't move and was very patient while we soaped her up. We rinsed and finished up and wrapped her in fluffy towels and quickly dried her off.

She was so proud of herself - and so excited - she ran around the house like a torpedo dog for a long time....strutting around all clean and fluffy! Her fur is very curly and because we didn't trim her (we usually do get her trimmed a bit at the groomer - but it's getting colder now so I'm letting her coat get thicker than usual), her fur is uber-thick and curly. She looks adorable - and she knew it!

The boys noticed 'cuz she smells pretty again.

So I think we'll make bathing her a regular thing. We can just get her nails done at the groomer during the winter....thus saving money.

I enjoyed her 'Princess Chloe' run-about too much to want to miss that again. She loved being all prettied up!

All Hallow's Eve Eve

2011-10-30T20:23:00.000-07:00

Twas the night before Halloween...and all through the house...many frightening occurrences are occurring.

I have to head upstairs and confirm the outfit I plan to wear - not exactly a costume but still Halloween-ish - is ready for morning. Have to set my alarm for the first time in over two weeks. Frightening! How appropriate for the festivities tomorrow.

J. asked my schedule this week - drives to/from County Office or Sacramento? - sort of synchronizing our watches. And I had to tell him 'I have no idea what my calendar looks like'. And then I looked. Also frightening. There's a price to be paid when others have access to your calendar and can book away while you are not there to defend yourself.

I did take some time yesterday to put together an updated 'to do' list, including many items that are 'absolute highest priority'. How many of those items is 'reasonable'? Not many, after glancing at my schedule for tomorrow.

B. ran in an obstacle course 'race' of some kind today. He came home absolutely filthy dirty - 'it was a mud bath, mom. It was awesome!' - and exhausted. He headed straight upstairs to the shower and now I'm afraid to look in there....'cuz in 8 hours, I will be showering in that same shower. Another frightening thing....

H. got fired from his job today. I fired him. I transferred what we owed him - net a fraction of what he owes us - and then I fired him. I will spare you all the details...but I'm done managing him as a job. I'm done tracking his (sometimes) lackluster efforts at 'working'. He did less than 4 hours this week - and got all up in arms that his dad and I hadn't tracked it all down to the minute and documented same. So I decided 'screw this'. And I fired him. Shortly after firing him, I took back (again, yet again) his debit card and his Chevron card. The kid is on his own. And I also found the 'source' of why I think he never gets called back for anything - found his MySpace page on Google and I'm reasonably sure that once someone sees that very old page (a part of his former life), they decide not hiring him is the best option.

I am so glad I have only eight work days until a four day weekend. I need a vacation to recover from my vacation....

I already feel exhausted...

And tomorrow, I have to put on makeup for the first time in over two weeks - again, frightening. Not as scary as Paranormal 3, by any means....but still, spackling this aged visage is no walk in the park. I'm considering Botox. Yes, really.

It's Over

2011-10-28T18:17:00.000-07:00

It's been a great two weeks (mostly) off and today was the last 'work day' off for awhile....well, until the Veteran's Day long weekend, then a week off at Thanksgiving and then two weeks off at Christmas. I know - it is awesome....but truthfully, I will be working much of those supposedly 'off' days 'cuz I got the crazy notion to take two weeks off.

I have remained fairly disconnected and when I read a work email about an hour ago, the familiar clenching in my stomach occurred to remind me that reality is looming. Oh well. It was a nice break and I really needed it.

The trip to Napa was tons of fun and thanks to an excellent salesperson at the winery, I bought more wine than I planned. Oh well. We had a bottle that night and it was delicious! And I slept like a rock!

Today, I had breakfast with a friend from my old corporate job - we were reflecting back that we've known each other over 20 years! Reminded us both of how long we've been friends when I mentioned that B. will be 21 in just 2 and 1/2 short months! Wow. That 21 years did go by really fast.

After breakfast, I headed over to N.'s house - my Napa trip included a stop at the Gymboree outlet which resulted in sweet PMan (the current nickname for her four and half month old doll) receiving two new outfits from his 'Auntie M'. We had a nice visit and it was so great to see her - I haven't seen her since the breakfast months ago right after PMan was born. We chatted briskly and Pman fell asleep with me holding him. He's such a little doll. So fun to remember how small they start out. So amazing.

This weekend, I will work on the pile of work I brought home - thinking that two glorious weeks stretched out before me and I would do a little each day and get stuff organized and 'done' long before I had to go back. And of course, as is my way, I have not done a blooming thing - and considering my schedule next week is jammed with all the meetings I postponed or skipped during the two off weeks, it's going to be a long week of long days attempting to keep up.

I'm so glad I took the time - I really needed it. And I'm glad that there will be upcoming additional 'breaks' that will help keep things more sane, at least until January.

So as bad as I feel tonight going back on Monday, I can only imagine how bad I will feel the Friday of the last week of Christmas break - 'cuz there will be no breaks from January forward through September, most likely. The system conversion is progressing and will be in full high gear swing as soon as we return from the Winter break.

My corporate friend reminded me that I am what I am - I have always been driven and work-oriented. I do love my job. I'm good at it and I enjoy it - so while it's hard to go back, it's also good to go back. My boss has missed me and so have other work friends. Work is my 'thing'. And I'm glad I have it.

Though honestly, I will never be bored when I stop working. I love being at home. Doing tons. Or doing nothing. Both suit me equally well.

A weekend of 'catch up' and stuff around the house is commencing soon....

Is it wrong to drink a small tumbler of red wine with McDonald's dinner?

Two and a Third

2011-10-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

I just have to say that the new Two and a Half Men is incredibly stupid. It was borderline stupid when Charlie Sheen was on - but we'd had years of his shenanigans to warm to and we were 'used' to it. His off-screen meltdown was handled appropriately (my opinion) with his firing...and I suspect he will self implode eventually.

But Ashton Kuthcher's character is just really dumb. Not likable. Nor plausible. The entire story line is ridiculous.

And it probably doesn't help that he cheated on his wife in real life - so I just plain don't like him.

That's my only observation after a very busy Monday. Tomorrow, I'm heading to Napa for the day with a friend to shop and visit V. Sattui winery which I haven't visited in over 15 years. We are running very low on our V. stash and since the only place you can get the wine is at the winery, I'm really, hugely looking forward to the trip. To heck with the budget! We're buying wine!!

OH - big news! B. got a promotion! He is officially no longer a 'courtesy clerk' - he is now working in the meat department. 20% increase in pay and better hours - he will rarely work past 9PM and only do one or two nights a week. He is very excited and we are very proud of him - he wanted that position and he applied and interviewed and he got it. What a transformation from a kid who begrudged every minute he spent there to the young man who disliked what his job was, saw something else he'd rather do and made it happen. Way to go, B.!!

Inner Dizzy

2011-10-21T22:31:00.000-07:00

I spent a chunk of the day in Modesto having various tests related to hearing and balance. I've been having frequent infections in my right ear - and there are mornings when I wake up and the entire room is spinning. Sometimes for many minutes. Sometimes just for a few. I usually just close my eyes and change positions and it resolves. Occasionally, it will take many minutes to stop and I end up sitting up and praying I don't keel over. So far, no keeling. Just dizzy.

I loved the 'metal box' within the room where the hearing test was done. It was soundproof. I'd love one of those in our home - a 'silent zone'. It was lovely. Challenging to know, though, if you are really hearing the beeps - or just think you're hearing the beeps. But she said I passed with flying colors so no hearing aid required. Thankfully that - 'cuz I'm only 51 for crying out loud!

The next set of tests was a bit more complicated. First, I had to wear a very incredible set of goggles that has tiny cameras inside - those cameras record your eye movements. First, the tests were following and tracking a red light. Picture one of those 'electronic signs' where you can type in your message and it scrolls across the screen. Then picture no words - just a red light. Follow it and hold. Follow it as it speeds up. It was 'easy' but a bit challenging because I wear glasses and without them, I immediately feel disoriented. I can't see too well without them - so it took a lot of concentration to follow the light without my vision correcting lenses. But we made it through.

The next round involved changing my body position rapidly - from a sitting up to a lying down and back again. Over and over. Then the same thing while lying on the right side, then the left.

When we finished those tests - the special chair helped but it felt like a work out and the crick in my neck this evening confirms that my muscles were 'used' in ways they aren't used to - the sweet young lady administering the test said 'now we'll start the last part of the tests. This is the part where most people experience extreme dizziness'. She explained that for one minute, I would have warm air blown into my ear canal. First the left. Then the right. She said that while the air is 'warm', she said most people find it feels very hot and are usually uncomfortable and within about 30 seconds, I will feel very dizzy.

She was right.

OH - I forgot to mention that other than the light test, I had a cover over the goggles that totally blocked all light. I could see nothing. No orientation to anything in the room.

So as she said, within 30 seconds of the warm air, it was clear I was very, very dizzy. Things were spinning - but there were no 'things' to see spin. Just the sensation of my entire head just swirling. Wild. Repeat with the right ear. About five minutes in between to let my body recover. She took the goggle covers off for those five minutes so I could 'see' when the spinning/dizziness stopped.

All in all, it wasn't horrible. It did make me feel dizzy and disoriented. I arrived with a fairly bad headache - no food and no caffeine does that to me...so after an hour and a half of the above, I most definitely had a horrifically bad headache and felt very 'off'. But I made it home (after stopping for a nice lunch). I slept for a few hours and it's now approaching 11PM and I'm ready to go to bed for the night.

Still one week to go of my vacation and that feels really great! H. is making great progress in the back yard and it's looking so much better! Tomorrow, we're going to finish up some sweeping and pre-winter tidying. Hard to believe November is already approaching. It's still shorts and t-shirt weather here so far.

J. and I plan to go shopping a bit tomorrow - he needs pants, I need a new winter jacket, the boys need socks and underwear. We'll have a nice lunch at Red Robin and call it a 'date'.

Double the Fun

2011-10-19T05:00:00.000-07:00

H. continues to look for a job. So he says, anyway.

A couple weeks ago, I put my foot down and said that he will spend 16-20 hours per week working for us and/or looking for a job. The kid goes to school three times a week - T, W & Th evenings. Not a full schedule by any stretch of the imagination. He was sleeping until noonish, getting up, eating, heading out to 'chillax' with friends, going to school. Staying up until the wee hours of the morning and then repeating the same stuff the next day. I told him flat out that this life he is living is NOT an acceptable option for an eighteen year old adult living with his parents. He needs to work. He needs an income. He needs to be way busier than he currently is doing things that are far more productive than chillaxing. Sure, he can and should have a social life...but not 10-12 hours a day of social life.

So now, he works for us. And I work hard coming up with a task list. We pay him $9 an hour - and mostly, we accrue the amount he's earned against the amounts he owes us. Phone, car insurance, gasoline, etc. I give him some cash (limited) now and then. We took away his debit card a month ago 'cuz he kept using it without realizing he had absolutely no money in the account. He never checked his balance - just spent. I had been monitoring and moving money from his savings to his checking but realized that by doing that, he had no concept of how much he was spending. So now, we have the debit card. He has very, very little cash and he works for us.

It sucks for him. I know that. But he keeps busier with stuff around the house. One of his recent chores was cleaning the baseboards in the bathroom - and he did such an amazing job. Used an old toothbrush and scrubbed every inch of them. They look brand new! He works hard and he's very good at anything he does. He realizes that his work for us is paying his monthly 'bills' - so he keeps at it. He doesn't complain, doesn't whine. Gets up reasonably early and gets to work. He also does go out and look - he is hopeful about getting a seasonal job at the pumpkin patch in Lathrop - and hopefully being kept on for their Winter Wonderland, too.

This week, I have him working on the backyard. And in addition to paying him, I'm attempting to find money in our budget to buy stuff for outside. We've been wanting to clean out some of the flower beds, put down the weed guard mesh and then put down bark - realizing that our yard has become incredibly high maintenance and while I have visions of beautiful beds filled with fresh flowers and all kinds of blooms, it's usually weeds and grass and it takes hours and hours of time to keep up. Our gardener's idea of weeding is using the weed whacker and just chopping them back (vs. good old fashioned pulling them out by their roots). So we're using bark to fill in - should be much less maintenance. H. went with me to Orchard Supply and helped load and unload 10 bags of bark. We've started finishing up the weed/grass pulling, putting down the weed guard paper and putting the bark down. Only 8 more bags to go! Progress! (Sort of!).

He is picky about finding a job. He needs to give up his 'dream' job (warehouse work 'behind the scenes' is what he wants to do) and work wherever they are hiring. I'm getting pretty frustrated with him - because there are jobs in town. Kids ARE getting hired. They may be working at jobs they don't particularly enjoy - but they are working. H. needs to do the same. I told him yesterday that one of these days, I will pull the plug on the 'parental work program' and he will be SOL. He won't have any funds for gas; won't be able to pay his car insurance; and that will be that. He'll have to look for other options - or better yet - find any job. ANY JOB.

I know we are making it too easy on him. I know. I want him to be 'self-supporting' as soon as possible. He's got to do something. I'm running out of things for him to do - and the funds to do them with. And I'm running out of patience.

Taco Plato

2011-10-18T17:41:00.000-07:00

Taco night! J. cooked! Yum!

The flat bottomed taco shells are brilliant....

But they lull you into a false sense of security. You load them up while standing - and the minute you move, they tip over onto their sides and you lose all your fixings. Just like 'regular' tacos.

Extreme Bravery

2011-10-18T14:22:00.000-07:00

J. did something truly brave today. Not many men would have done it. Most would quake in fear at the thought. Not my husband. He was brave beyond words.

I went to Costco to gas up my car. I had to go into Costco because when J. shopped this weekend, we forgot to include ketchup on our list. We are ketchup-less. That cannot happen in this house where ketchup is practically a food group. So I ventured inside Costco alone. Unaccompanied. Armed with my Costco Amex card with very little balance since we just paid our monthly bill in full - as usual.

It's Christmas at Costco. Decorations everywhere. Gifts galore. Clothes out the yin yang. But it's Christmas that is the most beckoning to me - new decorations for hearth and home. Inside. Outside. Every surface of our home. All could be covered in glorious celebration. Lights! Ornaments! Wrapping paper! Yard decor! Swags and garlands! Bows! Manger scenes! Storage supplies! Tissue paper!

I sent him a text: 'Christmas!'.

He responded: 'Yes?'

Me: 'At Costco....lots of Christmas stuff!!!

Me: 'Dangerous for me to be unaccompanied'.

Him: 'Get out as fast as you can. Run! Forget the ketchup! :-)'

Me: (to myself) 'Heh....'

Me: 'Lol. Now u get it!'

Me: 'Ummmm....'

Him: 'Yes?'

Me: 'I'm going to need help unloading'

Him: 'Oh no!'

I stayed under $35. Did get the Ketchup. And teriyaki sauce, corned beef hash and the Kirkland brand of Splenda (way, WAY cheaper than Splenda). I did not buy a single Christmas item. I wanted to. Oh, yes, I really did....

But I didn't. We have plenty of festive 'stuff' already - and in fact, as we work on the garage, J. continues to insist we need to cull out Christmas.

You can't cull out Christmas. Sorry. It just can't be done. I have my limits.

Churchy

2011-10-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

J. is playing music at church today - his once a month 'gig'. Two services. I seriously had hoped to be there. I always think I will go. But I was uber-lazy this morning and when I woke up at 7 (late for me), I went back to sleep and slept until after 8:30 (VERY late for me). Now I'm all groggy and drowsy and seriously feel like I could easily go back to sleep AGAIN for another round. But I won't. It's Sunday and there's stuff to do! I'm just not feeling churchy today. :-)

Son #1 left for work - after a quick perusal of his bank account. He insisted he had enough $ for something and so I said sweetly 'let's take a look at your account online together'. Sure enough, he appeared a bit shocked at how fast he went through his last paycheck. So we had a discussion about budgets and how it's easy to spend a ton of $ on fast food, eating out, beverages, etc. - and it does go very quickly when all you are doing is swiping your debit card and not really being aware of how much you are spending. This day and age of 'instant' everything makes it too easy - and guys don't carry checkbooks around so he doesn't really enter anything into a register. He just spends and occasionally (usually when I make him) takes a look at his bank account online.

Son #2 is still sleeping and I'm debating about waking him up. He works for us now...but he does get weekends off. Though this particular work week was pretty 'light' on any work. Sure, he did a few things. And we appreciated the help and paid him accordingly. But he put in as few hours as humanly possible. He is supposed to spend 16-20 hours a week either working for us or looking for a 'real' job. (Please note: I have no idea where our budget will 'find' 16-20 hours of 'pay' for him - but I don't have to worry too much about finding any actual 'cash' 'cuz he owes us for his monthly car insurance and cell phone on top of gasoline, so I may never have to actually come up with any cold hard cash. Poor kid - broke and working for your parents. And as J. said yesterday 'and he doesn't even get the family name displayed over the door or anything').

I am off work for not one - but TWO weeks. It is insane for me to do that. I will regret it a zillion different ways. And there are two days in those two weeks when I will be working because there are mandatory meetings that I don't want to miss. I just have so many carryover days to use up - so I wedged in time off. Which may end up just being secret code for 'working at home and not counting the days as work days'. Yesterday, I went in to finish up one big thing and packed up my entire desk into a rolling crate and brought it all home. Plan to spend at least an hour or two a day organizing, culling and getting some projects done on the remote 'work at home' system. We'll see. No plans other than some doctor appointments. I am going to the Napa outlet malls with a friend for a day the 2nd week of vacation - and there will be a visit to V. Satui winery! But other than that, it's pretty much a 'stay-cation' - working on home projects. Sleeping in. Yeah!

J. is doing a big Costco shop and I will be heading to Target shortly for some toiletries and a gift card for a cousin who's having a baby. It's a huge treat to go to Target - I so rarely shop there lately.

There are so many things happening on the work front that I would love to write about - but I won't. Let's just say that there are big changes afoot and change is always challenging for everyone. Even me. I know we will get through it all and end up stronger and better for it - but the drama to get there is just unbelievably stressful - even for me and I handle stress better than most. So maybe taking the two weeks away is a good survival strategy - just step off the treadmill for a couple weeks and let things 'play out' and simmer down. Here's hoping.

I'm going to head upstairs and get dressed for the day - and then head out to run my errands. Tomorrow, I hope to go with H. over the hill to get his Schwab account into his name - it reverted to him when he turned 18 and until he comes in personally to sign a bunch of papers, the account is frozen. My fear is when he sees the account balance, he will immediately want to 'sell everything'. And we are attempting to encourage him not to look at that account as 'liquid savings'. We'll see. If we go over the hill to do that, I'm going to visit friends at my old job while H. attends his one Monday class. So that will be a fun day! Could be, anyway...I haven't actually run that plan by H.. We'll see -

Running Away

2011-10-07T18:46:00.000-07:00

I spent 40 minutes writing a post on the 99% movement - but it was lost - deleted accidentally when the palm of my hand hit my built in mouse pad and deleted - and then auto save kicked in at the same time and saved 'the blank'.

So I will recreate that post eventually - hopefully this weekend. I have a lot on my mind about our economy and I want to get some of it on paper.

Do you watch The Middle? We love it. This week, Frankie ran away from home. She got fed up with her family's demands and idiosyncrasies so she packed a bag and left. Spent a couple nights at her mom's, drinking too much. I'm not 'fed up' at all with the men in my life - love them all to pieces. I really do. I can't go to my mom's house and hide out. And we don't use chemicals to deal with issues in our home. I might have a Newcastle brown ale in a minute - but it's Friday and I'm winding down. One won't be an 'escape'. It will be a refreshing beverage. But I need a break. So....

I am running away from home tomorrow. Don't worry - J. and the boys know. I am heading to a casino a couple hours away and spending a night away from home. I was hesitant at first - we shouldn't spend the money, so much to do at home, etc. And then I started to get excited about it. So I'm going. J. and the boys will hold down the fort here - and I'm going to relax. Really relax!

I'm really looking forward to it. My boss asked me to 'add' something to the board meeting prep I had finished - and I kindly said 'of course; however, I won't get it done until Monday - so it won't be in the packets this afternoon'. And that was totally OK. It was a last minute 'add' and I said 'I am not working this weekend - I am not even home this weekend!' Yeah me!! I felt liberated just saying 'sure, but not today. And not this weekend'. Revolutionary, for me.

I can't wait. It's somewhere I've never been before so it makes the adventure even more fun - an adventure just for me.

More later - hopefully from my hotel room. And hopefully to announce that I've won a huge jackpot! Oh, to dream....

Fried

2011-10-02T17:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy and relatively productive weekend here. We made more progress on The Great Garage Culling of 2011 and are pretty close to the place we usually end up: screw the garage sale! Yesterday, J. took a HUGE amount of stuff to Goodwill - stuff that we knew would sell. But we are just not garage sale people. I'd much rather just donate and deduct - true, cash in pocket would be lovely but the amount of work required for that is just not something we can do. Our weekends are booking up quickly and winter looms. If we wait for a 'good' weekend, it will be spring. There will be a lot more stuff in the garage sale bins if we wait until spring. So we are just going to donate and write off!

My biggest accomplishment this weekend is that thanks to The Pioneer Woman, I now can make a chicken fried steak that is better than any restaurant version on the planet! Chicken fried steak is my favorite 'eating out' meal - and homemade is so much better. Not as greasy. Delicious dinner early - B. works at 6:30 so we wanted to get him fed before he heads out. And I always prefer to eat early.

I've also been working at home today and love it when the 'remote-in' system is up and running. It's sometimes a crap shoot but today it worked like a charm and I got a lot of stuff done that's been on my to-do list for awhile. I have a busy week ahead and will work some very long days this week in preparation for the board meeting next week but I made a dent in some stuff at home and that's great!

Tonight is 60 Minutes and Andy Rooney's last segment. Then Amazing Race. And Good Wife! Good thing I made homemade Starbucks iced tea 'cuz if I'm staying up that late, I'm going to need the caffeine.

The only errand I didn't get to is going to WalMart for a few toiletries. B. and J. both need hair gel. I was so desperate, that I let B. use my Awahpui hair mousse from Paul Mitchell - the salon I go to. He loves it so much that he practically wants to bathe in it. Says it makes him look incredibly handsome - and it smells really good, too. Oh well. I can probably find it at Target and keep him supplied. And I use a pea size amount of the styling pomade for mine and that container will probably last me the rest of my life. I like to try new products and I like my stylist to get 'credit' for selling me product. And all in all, for a Paul Mitchell salon, their prices are incredibly reasonable.

J. has been walking down memory lane going through the bag of pictures from his parents. He's been scanning a good chunk of the day and posting on Facebook to torture his cousins with really old pictures of themselves! They all seem to be taking it good naturedly, so far.

Back to my homework before 60 Minutes starts.

Growling

2011-09-30T10:49:00.000-07:00

I just growled at my computer....and I've been growling all morning. Lost part of the first post 'cuz the pad of my hand below my left thumb keeps hitting the mousepad on my laptop and deletes whole sections of my post....

Then I opened up an email from work and attempted to view a spreadsheet - but the formatting prevented me from seeing the data with the column headers at the same time, so I growled again.

J. said 'do you keep your office door closed at work?'

'No. I don't growl at work. I'm home. This is my safety zone'.

Growling only happens when I'm at home. I want to growl at work but that wouldn't be demonstrating self control or leadership. So I don't growl there. But boy, howdy, do I want to some days. Yes, I really do.

So maybe calling it a non-work day and actually working at home is to my advantage - 'cuz I can growl as needed and there's no one here to stop me!

PS

2011-09-30T10:43:00.000-07:00

Another reason for the infrequent posts is the constant issues with blogger.com. I can't just type and post anymore. I type and then I preview and then I have to do a bunch of 'work arounds' to get the post to format correctly. It irritates the heck out of me and that's why I have posts in process that never get published. I write usually in the wee hours of the morning - and then hit 'publish' - but it doesn't work. So I preview and realize 'crap, it's acting up again and now I have to do this, this and this to actually publish'. And I save it and move on 'cuz I don't have time in the early morning to do all those work arounds.

It's time to consider moving to a new platform. Typepad? Wordpress? Something.

But then I don't really want to do that either.

I wish blogger.com would just fix stuff!

And It's Friday Again

2011-09-30T10:17:00.000-07:00

I'm off today - pretty much off, anyway. I will be working a bit momentarily and have checked in a couple times via email. But in an effort to use the jillion of days I carried over into the new year and to avoid carrying over a jillion more into next year, I have officially entered the world of 'I call it a day off but I am actually doing some work'. As I finish my fifth year in the job and look forward to starting my sixth, I've broken my one rule which was 'I do not work for free'. Sadly, it seems that I am officially entering the phase known as 'resistance is futile'. And therefore, I take time away from the office and work a bit on days I am calling 'non-work days'. Oh well. Such is life.

Things around the homestead are good. Boys/young men are good. I reminded B. that it's the end of the month today so his monthly obligations to us for car insurance and cell phone are now payable and he said without a hint of angst 'right - I will be sure to pick up my check and deposit it right away'. He is growing up....and it shows.

Haven't reminded son #2 yet but will soon - and then we'll look at his dwindling savings account which I will be withdrawing from to cover his monthly expenses and remind him yet again that he has to find a job. He's applying places and then waiting and waiting. And I'm telling him to apply where they are actually hiring - fast food (his nemesisi - he absolutely, passionately DOES NOT WANT to work in fast food) or a restaurant as a server. Something. Anything. His savings is dwindling quickly and his options are running out.

They are both in school and as far as we know, they are doing OK. They are adults now - so we see no progress reports or hear many updates. We just wait for the final report card sometime in January and hope this semester has been successful for them both. B. is absolutely loving his American history class - he has always enjoyed history and is like his dad in that respect. We hope he's doing as well in his other classes. We'll see. H. is also insisting he's doing fine though he doesn't really 'love' any of his classes - but he attends. He is probably going to transfer to Delta Community College in the spring - they have an annex campus that's only about 10 miles away and where most of his friends are attending - so he'd like to attend there. Less of a drive (gasoline savings) and more people he knows. J. is helping him with that process. Right, J.?

B. will be 21 in less than four months and he is excitedly looking forward to being able to order cocktails with dinner when we go out. I am trying to think of something to do to celebrate - the 'typical' trip to Vegas sounds fun, but I'm not sure we want to spend that much money. We'll see.

We worked a lot in the garage a couple weekends ago and plan to continue the work this weekend. The new water softener/water purifier had a malfunction on Wednesday night and the rubber tube that connects to a drain to drain all the water when the system does it's daily 'flush' disconnected and flooded the garage. Thanks to our clearing/cleaning efforts, we didn't lose anything valuable - just have a lot of wet cardboard to dry out and put in recycling. I'm considering buying another set of shelves to use to get things up off the ground - and I still have the goal of 'it's a three car garage and it would be lovely to get one - maybe even two cars - inside nightly. Our street looks like a used car lot and we want to be part of the solution -

I have a hair appointment this afternoon and it's my 'free' cut - after 5 cuts, the 6th is free! So I'll enjoy a 'spa' treatment and maybe splurge on some yummy smelling shampoo. But probably not 'cuz I'm in a frugal mode.

The weather is cooler today - after a week of very hot. So hoping fall is arriving sooner rather than later.

Time to head into the garage and start cutting up cardboard.

Like Michelle Obama, I hope to take a trip to Target later today - without the Secret Service. And it's Frappucino Friday and I have a free drink coupon so we will splurge and get Venti sugar free/fat free Caramel Frapp for our Friday treat!

If you visit frequently and feel frustrated/disappointed at my infrequent posts, then I apologize and thank you for your continued reading. It's not for lack of desire - just time.

That, and all in all, my life these days feels consistently beyond boring. I work. I cook/eat. I attempt to tidy up around here on occasion. I pay the bills. I work some more. I sleep. And I get up every morning and do it all again. That's life, right? It's all blessings....all the time. It's just often not much to write about.

Though this weekend, I hope to update/finish some posts in progress. Chloe will be featured. She's a hoot lately.

Have a wonderful Friday! and an awesome weekend!

All My Children

2011-09-23T19:53:00.001-07:00

I am so sorry to see this amazing soap end it's 41 year run. I've watched from my very early teen years - so pretty darn close to 'from the beginning'. (It's a little hard to admit that - this getting older is sure hard to fathom at times). True, it moved slowly at times. And I haven't watched regularly in years - couldn't keep up with taping it in the 'good old days' of VCRs. Never had time to watch the five hours of taped episodes each week so just gave up.

But if I have a day off or am home and happen to notice it's noon, I still turn it on.

And I'm really going to miss doing that.

What's the point of (yet another) totally stupid talk show? "The Chew"? Really?

Shame on the network for wrapping it up. Legions of loyal fans are really pissed off....and when I'm home at noon on a weekday, I will most definitely NOT be tuning in.

And they also cancelled One Life to Live which I have also watched for most of my life.

I read that One Life to Live will continue episodes via the internet? Hoping AMC will, too.

Good day at work today - busy. I have four pages of 'to do's' but the neat thing about having that many is I get to see steady progress. I like to highlight things when they're done - so it's fun to see the multi-colored highlights all over the pages as my week progresses. The colors don't mean anything - I just use whatever highlighter is available -

We have a new water softener - and J. opened a Sears account for 12 months interest free! So I can just pay monthly instead of taking money out of savings.

Withered

2011-09-21T06:23:00.001-07:00

My morning ritual of 4:45 awakening and spending some time on my virtual farm (and city and cafe) was interrupted by finding one of my farms totally withered. I have 'tools' that prevent this and on this particular farm (there are three now. I know. Yes, it's somewhat insanity creating....but it's also relaxing and amusing and I'm still living my life and doing what I need to do. So shoot me for admitting that I love my virtual reality games) it's an 'Unwither Ring'.

Thankfully, there was a notice at the top that confirmed some rings had been 'deactivated' and they were working on fixing the issue. But 'if you will click on your ring, that will fix the problem'.

Um.......

I don't know where my ring is. My farm is full of things and animals and trees and buildings and crops and crafting shops and market stalls and barns. It's decorated for Christmas every year and soon it will have cobwebs on buildings. And turkeys. I couldn't find my ring if my life depended on it. I have a vague idea of the vicinity of where my ring is the last time I needed to know (the day I placed it on my farm) but other than that, I have no idea where it is. I am writing them to suggest they create a 'find' tool....which will come in handy on other games as well. My virtual city has a 'mission' right now that involves a building that I'm sure I built somewhere, but I can't find it. It's a pretty big city and it's not easy to locate seldom visited 'city works' buildings.

If they don't fix the farm issue soon, I will be working on a major farm clean up this weekend! Which will go well with Phase II.a of the garage culling. We can see concrete! Progress!

Oh - and it was very fortuitous that we got our shtick together this past weekend and majorly culled and cleaned 'cuz our water softener appears to be leaking and there's water all over the garage. Yeah! $500 plus for a replacement (installation not included). It's lasted 11 years which is one year past the 'tank warranty'. Of course it is.

Happy Wednesday -

Socially Qualified

2011-09-19T13:09:00.000-07:00

Today, we celebrate the day my better half officially becomes eligible for Social Security! Yeah! Happy #62, J. . How does it feel to know that should you need to (or decide to) retire, you'll receive approximately 1/3 of your current take home for the rest of your life? We can't live on that but that's ok - 'cuz you've been contributing to your 401(k) since you were young - so we're loaded, right? What? We're not? When did that happen? The last few years? Oh, yeah....right....for a moment, I forgot about this 'Great Recession' we've been living in for years. Seemingly forever. Watching everything we've worked for going up in smoke....

OK, it's not that bad. It's not. We're still solvent. Still have our health. Still vertical every day and able to clean out garages, etc. when we get enough energy to do so.

It's good to know that should you suddenly leave your job (for any reason, including just waking up one day and saying 'I'm done'), we would have some income.....with my income, we can make it for the foreseeable future.

All the while praying the two adults living with us begin making their own way sooner rather than later - but that's been a familiar theme and we're all doing just fine.

Still, officially Social Security eligible is certainly a milestone! So here's to your golden years, sweets! And many more! Only three more and you'll be eligible for Medicare!! Yippee!!!

Love you, my dear! More than words can say.....

Garage Wars

2011-09-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

Have you watched the show "Storage Wars" on TV? It's amusing....people buy storage lockers that are being auctioned - hoping to find some treasure. Many own second hand stores and look for household items to put in their store. Others are collectors who are looking for unique items that may be worth something - or they may just keep them. It's an entertaining show and the 'characters' who are the buyers are interesting.

J. and I spent most of the day in the garage. We filled the trash bin and the recycle bin with junk. We also have a couple bags of books and a bag of CD's to donate to the library tomorrow. We uncovered some treasures - things to keep. H. is now wearing his grandpa's dog tag proudly around his neck.

We took many walks down memory lane - his parent's stuff, my mom's stuff. We made another pass at various paperwork boxes - shredded old mortgage stuff from our two Hayward homes. Shredded stuff from his parents.

The CD's were my mom's and it was definitely a reminder that she had very eclectic taste in music. Julio Iglesias, Alabama, barbershop singers, lots of classical, a bunch of other country artists. Barry Manilow singing with a full orchestra - hit of my mom's life vs. his 'hits'. She sure had a wide range of things she enjoyed.

J. got our bikes out and put air in the tires. I rode mine up and down the street - it needs a tune up because the back brake is rubbing on the tire constantly. We'll try to get them to the local bike shop next weekend and we both hope to start riding. It felt good to be cruising down the street and I might even ride my bike to work one or two days a week. It's do-able on days when I don't have work with me to bring back and forth.

We also have a list of things to put in my car and take a trip to the dump. We miss the days when the city would do two free pickups each year - they don't do that anymore (budget reductions) so we'll have to schlep our own stuff to the dump. Things that aren't garage sale-able (broken, non-working, etc.) and we don't want to keep them anymore.

Next is to actually have the garage sale we keep finding stuff to sell during! Hopefully the first or second weekend in October, before the rain arrives. And then committing that whatever doesn't sell has to GO. I'd love to actually get a car or two in our garage -

I am off on Monday! Believe it or not! I already have that 'kletchy' feeling in my stomach about being out of the office for a day - but I can do this! I can stay home on a day when others are working! I plan to take a bike ride....and keep tidying up stuff. And I have a doctor's appointment in Stockton so I will cruise into Trader Joe's for a few things. It will be fun. And I will be OFF!!

Lull

2011-09-12T04:24:00.000-07:00

I am in a lull...which according to Merriam-Webster is defined as 'a temporary pause or decline in activity'. That's not how I would describe it but that's the definition.

Lulls can be wonderful - who doesn't want to temporarily pause or decline activity?

My lulls aren't like that. They are not just pauses - they're more like gulfs. Or abysses. Which isn't a word - I just looked. There is no plural for abyss. Why?

And starting a Monday with a post that requires too many Merriam Webster inquiries may not be optimal.

I am not sleeping well/much. I was wide awake at 3AM this morning so I got up - 'cuz staying in bed torturing myself about not sleeping isn't any more healthy than not sleeping. And getting up so early will result in tonight being a better night's sleep. God willing.

Another long week looms and I'm starting to hate that every week is a long week. And I don't usually feel that way about my work. I really don't.

So whatever this lull or abyss is, I hope it abates soon. The positive, 'can-do' Majah needs to return to the building ASAP -

The one who's here now typing this will need a nap in about 8 hours and will be unable to take one because she'll be working....

The cat is crying - his deep throaty meow.... searching for company and entertainment.

I know just how he feels.

Remembering at Ten

2011-09-11T09:53:00.000-07:00

Like many Americans today, I find myself thinking back to that morning ten years ago....

I was driving to work when the first plane hit - I heard on the radio that a plane had hit one of the World Trade Center towers....and my first reaction was like so many of us thought at the time: 'wow, how did a plane make so many errors to end up hitting a building in down town New York?' I called J. who was just waking up and said 'turn on the TV and watch the news - something's happening in New York'.

I got to work and watched the story unfold on the TV in the cafeteria - working in the corporate world had it's perks and we had a full service cafeteria in our complex. We all stood stunned by the TV - realizing this wasn't just an accident. It was planned. Carefully planned.

The company I worked for at the time - not a company that ever had much heart - did the right thing and let us all go home. J.'s company had let them not come in - which was good because there was fear and speculation that some west coast targets might also be at risk - and J. works in a San Francisco high rise and takes an underground/underwater train to work and I didn't want him anywhere near either of those places.

So I drove home and J. and I watched on TV. And I said out loud 'can they fall down? Shouldn't people be staying away because they could fall completely'? And almost just as I said that, the first tower did fall. And then the second.

We debated about getting the kids out of school - but we didn't. They were only eight and ten at that time and I wasn't sure it was good for them to watch it all on TV. I don't know (still) if that was the right thing to do - but we let them stay at school. We picked them up after school and we talked about what had happened. And we tried to minimize the 'attacked' perspective - because it was still too shocking to wrap our adult heads around - and seemed unfathomable to try to get young children to comprehend the magnitude of just how much our world had changed on that day. There would be plenty of time to 'get that' as our nation moved forward - and all the decisions made to 'fight terrorism' led to wars, etc. .

What a horrific day that was....and I have those feelings as just a bystander, watching it happen on TV. Not as someone who lost someone....so I can't really fathom how it is for the families affected. Does an entire country praying for them really help? I don't know - but praying was all there was to do.

I've watched some of the shows on this week - the kids that are now ten years old who never knew one of their parents. The survivors reflecting back on what happened that day and how they made it through. The stories of the heroes who didn't make it out alive but their actions saved hundreds of others. So many selfless people making decisions that helped others and gave their lives so others would live. It's still just gut-wrenching....ten years later. Will it always be this way? I sort of hope so. So many of the shows have people saying 'I don't want us to ever forget'...and I don't want us to forget, either.

But then I saw a young girl - now a teen - sharing how what she dreads most about the anniversary - every year but especially in years like this year when it's a 'big' anniversary - ten years, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five - is all the attention. She doesn't dread the massive grief and sadness she knows comes around this day every year. She dreads the attention - the interviews and the inevitable questioning of how she and her family are doing. And for her - and her family - and thousands of other families, that invasion of privacy will always be a part of the anniversary.

So we don't want to forget. And we will never forget. But I hope we are able to let these families move on. It's hard enough having lost your father or mother in such a tragic event - with all America watching. And it's expected that you will have grief and pain and overwhelming sadness throughout your life because of what happened. But I'm not sure expecting them to share it with us as each anniversary passes is the right thing to do - not that there's ever any 'right thing' or 'wrong thing' to do in these situations....but it's sort of changed my perspective. As much as I care about them and want to know how they are doing, I more than anything want them to be able to move forward in their own way - privately.

Never forget......

Relieved

2011-09-09T04:59:00.000-07:00

to read on Yahoo this morning that my car (Mercury Mariner) is one of the top ten cars thieves don't want - so that's a relief! It's alarmed to the hilt and beeps more than the Lost in Space robot - but good to know it's not likely anyone will ever test the effectiveness of those alarms. Except me when I set them off periodically by closing a back seat door after I've already locked the car. It doesn't like that. (If there's stuff on my backseat and I open that door, then lock the car with the key button and close the back door, the alarm will go off. And while I can describe to you when it happens and why it happens, I keep making it happen - so clearly, I don't learn. At least not about car alarms.)

Bill Maher said on a show not too long ago 'no one wakes up in the morning and says "I want a Mercury". People who drive Mercury's know someone who sells them'. He's right - that's why we bought ours.

It's three years old officially and it just turned to 30K miles yesterday. The car may last longer than me.

I'm posting about my car because it's just after 5AM and I have to get to my office pronto - and I left there at 8 last night. Meetings today. Did I mention that in addition to having quite possibly the busiest first four weeks of school ever we are also converting to a new finance/payroll/HR system this year? I'm trying not to stress about it - but I'm stressed about it.

More later. I'm becoming one of those blogs that aren't updated. And there's so much to write. Hopefully this weekend I can produce some memories on paper.

Dinner?

2011-08-29T18:09:00.000-07:00

What I planned takes just too much effort....it's been a long, long Monday and this Majah is tuckered out! It's hot! I don't want to cook.

I peruse the freezer and find some leftover Pasta Carbonara, sweet potato gnocchi (Trader Joe's! Yum!). That's great. I start defrosting/cooking via the microwave.

H. calls to check in and asks what's for dinner.

I hadn't really expected him for dinner....he's never home for dinner. He eats when he gets home later in the evening. So I told him I wasn't sure - it was a freezer smorgasbord tonight.

I hang up the phone. J. can have some of the pasta and gnocchi. H. can have the majority of the pasta. B. made himself a sandwich before he left for work. So that just leaves me.

I peruse the freezer again. What else is there?

I did the only thing a mother can do - I put the needs of my family first and made sure they had enough to eat. I looked and looked and looked.....

I ate a caramel nut roll that was hidden in the back - they were 2 for 1 a couple weeks ago so I hid one. Heated it briefly in the microwave and consumed it quickly. With milk.

I'd rather eat that than risk my family going hungry. No sacrifice is too great.

Three things out of the freezer. It's a win-win!

:-)

Monday,

2011-08-29T06:04:00.000-07:00

you suck....

a slight chill prompted me to pull the duvet cover over me - and I could have slid back into that warmth and slept easily another few hours. That wonderful, warm, drowsy feeling that you'd give anything to be able to respond to by going back to sleep. The feeling that never happened this weekend - not once.

Mondays........

I loathe you.

The Joy of Saturdays

2011-08-28T09:30:00.000-07:00

Saturday is my favorite day of the week. No work that day or the next (hopefully). You awake with nothing but possibilities....and a hefty to-do list. But anything is possible on a Saturday. You could sleep all day if you chose to. You could work really hard on a variety of tasks and see things being accomplished. You can run errands....it's all do-able on that day of the week. And you still have one more day of no work. So Saturday is definitely my favorite day.

My decision to not go to the plant nursery over the Altamont was great one - not only did it save me money, but my hair stylist called and she could take me three hours earlier - which was great! So I enjoyed a wonderful hour plus getting my hair done. I had a 'treatment' - deep conditioning - and Paul Mitchell salons want your visit to be an 'experience'. So my treatment included a 30 minute scalp, neck, shoulder, arm and hand massage - so, SO relaxing. Their 'wash room' has a trickling water fountain and pretty, low-key music playing. You know how at some salons, getting your hair washed is torture? You lean back and your neck is on a hard, cold fixed surface? No matter how much they adjust the chair, you are just hugely uncomfortable and can't wait for the wash to be over? Well at Paul Mitchell salons, the wash basin has neck rests that 'give' - so if you move or your stylist moves your head, the neck support 'gives' with the movement. It's on a spring of some kind, I think. They cover it with a piping hot towel and it's heaven. Not a single minute of being uncomfortable and you just close your eyes and drift off under a sea of warmth and great smells and the joy of scalp massage. It's awesome! I love it - it feels so decadent.

I also was able to catch the tail end of our local farmer's market - got a bunch of fruit for $1 a pound - and some 'long beans' for $1 a bunch. I love the market and every time I go, I think 'I should do this every Saturday - just buy our vegetables and fruit at the market' vs. going to the grocery store. I'm just rarely that motivated on lazy Saturday mornings.....but I could be 'cuz the produce is delicious!

Next stop was Starbucks.....and the thing I love the most about our new store is that it has a 'bar' where you can sit - like a sushi bar, kind of - high stools. You sit and watch the barista prepare drinks. And I learned a lot yesterday. About two months ago, I ordered a light caramel frap with extra drizzle when I was going to WinCo to do a massive grocery shop. It was the best caramel frap I'd ever had - you'd take a sip through the straw and big glops of caramel would be included in each slurp - the thick, gooey, ice-cold caramel warming in your mouth and adding such a great 'punch' of flavor. So for the last two months, I've been ordering that exact same drink at various SB's - it is our Friday frappucino flavor that J. and I treat ourselves to on Fridays....but it's never been the same. And yesterday, I found out why. A lady had ordered one with extra drizzle - and the barista I watched yesterday covered the entire bottom of her cup with a thick layer of the drizzle. I asked him about it - and he said 'if you ask for extra drizzle, that's what we're supposed to do - cover the bottom'. I commented that I order those every Friday and had just ordered two yesterday and they weren't made that way - and he said 'they should be. Next time, tell them you want the drizzle to cover the bottom of the glass'. It looked so good that I got back in line and ordered a light version to go with the iced tea I'd previously ordered and was waiting for. OH MY GOODNESS - that's the difference! It was delicious and just like I remembered.

The other part of the equation that I didn't tell him is that the same barista who doesn't do that when I order extra drizzle is also the barista who when he's on the register charges me sixty cents extra for the drizzle he's NOT putting at the bottom of my glass. I end up getting that 'extra' credited back 'cuz my gold card gives me any add-ons for free - but still, it bugs me. So now I know how to make our Friday frapps perfect. Already looking forward to next Friday - and Fridays are always a great day 'cuz they come before Saturday!!

It was a quiet evening with me heading up to bed around 10ish. B. was with friends out and about. I didn't hear him arrive home and slept pretty well - and slept until 8AM which is very 'late' for me. I've washed all the produce, washed and chopped the long beans so they're ready for dinner tonight. Heading upstairs to get dressed for the day - and yes, one of my 'errands' is to stop in work for a bit and clean my desk. Work on year-end a bit more. It's a week of a lot of meetings and there's still a lot to do before the 31st - so I'll feel better (and sleep better tonight) if I just bite the bullet and go in for a couple of hours. So I tell myself, anyway.

J. and H. are already on their way home - should be here around 11ish. Only other plans on the list today is grocery shopping - something for Sunday dinner - I'm thinking in honor of Pioneer Woman's new show, I'll make chicken fried steaks and mashed taters!

Have a great Sunday - which in itself is a great day, too.....it's just that it precedes Monday and so it loses a lot in the translation.

Someday, every day will be a Saturday - and I can't wait for that to be my reality.

Food Network

2011-08-27T08:30:00.001-07:00

I am glued to the TV this morning watching The Pioneer Woman's new show on Food Network. She was just on the Paula Dean show and now it's her show! I've been looking forward to adding another food show to my list of favorites!

I woke up this morning bright-eyed and raring to go - pretty early but still slept in a bit. Was wishing I could tidy up and clean the kitchen. Didn't, 'cuz that would have woken up J. .

I made a list of errands to run today - and this morning, realized 'I don't want to do that'. If I drive all the way to Livermore to spend the $16 of August Bucks I got in the spring, I'll be spending a lot of gasoline $ to go spend $16. And I know I won't just spend $16. I will spend way more than that, using the rationale 'I don't get to Alden Lane very often'. So I'm staying on this side of the hill. I do need to go get a few things and I'm going to 'treat' myself to a Target trip. I don't shop there much - it's easier to resist 'stuff' at WalMart - but it's a Target kind of day. Get an iced tea at Starbucks and pick up the few household things we need. Then come home and work around the house before getting my hair cut this afternoon.

It's a great 'piddle around' kind of day and I haven't had one of those in ages.

Does anyone else think it's kind of silly for all the reporters to be demonstrating the power of Hurricane Irene by standing outside in the middle of it while being filmed doing that? Isn't it a tad ridiculous to tell people it's hugely dangerous while standing there risking your life and the life of your film crew? Huh?? I don't get it. The storm is the size of Europe and it's hitting a lot of highly populated land - pretty 'rare' as hurricanes go. So I hope my East coast friends and family are safe - and staying inside.

Happy Saturday!

Survivor

2011-08-26T17:13:00.001-07:00

For all I know, I've repeated this title dozens of times in the history of this blog....in fact, I used it last week in the past tense. Also appropriate for this week....repetition works when the brain is mush.

It's been a long, long week and I'm just glad it's over. The past couple days have been full of challenges - more than usual, I must say - and me at some kind of all time 'low' in my coping skills. But it's over and it's all going to be fine. I wasn't sure of that this time last night - but it will be. Things happen. They get worked through. Still, the working through is sure a pain in the toukas. It will all be 'sorted' eventually - that, I know for sure.

My sweet hubby was hugely supportive and helpful - giving good, sound advice and helping me think things through. Isn't having someone in your life who's always there for you the best thing ever? It's such a blessing to know that we are there for each other through thick and thin.

I need sleep. Lots of sleep. I'm hoping to make it until 8 but that's going to be a real challenge 'cuz I've been up very early every day this week.....

J. and H. are heading to Tulare tomorrow to visit the cousins. They will be home Sunday (early, according to J.). I am off tomorrow (believe it or not! - and it's a record for me in terms of being this 'done' with the massive project of closing the books) and have a haircut in the afternoon. I hope to make it to Alden Lane nursery tomorrow - time to spend my 'August Bucks' from the shopping I did to get veggies and flowers for our spring garden and raised beds.

We are enjoying Roti Roli leftovers - and once again, I have to thank J. who waited in line yesterday at the Ferry Building and then carted home a medium sized rolling thermal 'chest' with two chickens, a bunch of roasted potatoes and a surprise porchetta sandwich! We ate some last night and we're having leftovers tonight. It's decadently delicious and what a treat!

H. has been 'pounding the pavement' looking for work. He's been applying online for some time and waiting for call backs. I finally convinced him that going out and picking up applications and meeting people may have better results. He's not having much luck but he's trying.

OH - and did I mention? On his own - with no parental prompting or cajoling or any discussion at all - B. found 4 classes at LasPo. He registered very late - but because he's 'high' in the priority for registering, he got 4 classes he needs to finish his degree by December! We are proud of him and pleased he did it 'on his own'. Now, he just has to pass. That's still a big hurdle and I'm not holding my breath - nor planning any celebration. We'll see what happens. He's hopefully going to get tutoring as he needs it instead of waiting until it's hopeless and too late to improve enough to pass. So we await further developments...which we hope will be passing all four and getting his degree in December.

Bad Poetry

2011-08-25T06:03:00.000-07:00

A friend gave me a book - "B is for Bad Poetry" by Pamela August Russell. I am enjoying it....

So today, because I am pressed for time (it is just after 6AM, I've been up two hours and feel 'late for work' which is sort of ridiculous but I can't help it), I'm sharing a few favorites with you.

They will illustrate my current mind set. Be warned.

THE JANIS JOPLIN OF IT ALL

We tried.

We even tried

just a little bit harder.

It's not working.

(This sums up perfectly how I want to reply every time my boss asks me 'how's it going? And yes, I keep trying.

ILLUMINATION HANDYMAN

The light at the end of the tunnel

needs to be replaced.

and lastly, this gem:

RELATIVITY THEORY FOR A MELANCHOLY GAL

Some days go by

like elephants.

Other days go by

like elephants

with water retention

and bloating.

That last one makes me smile and giggle out loud every time. Because it's so true.

Here's to just a regular, like-an-elephant passing day. With no water retention and/or bloating.

Survived

2011-08-16T06:47:00.001-07:00

Well, it's over and I survived. The procedure didn't start until close to 1PM (42+ hours with no food) and I recall (vaguely) waking in the recovery room around 2:30 - very, VERY groggy and hazy. J. got me in the car, went to KFC for chicken strips and mashed potatoes (still on a 'soft' diet since they removed polyps from my stomach (not expecting that at all so will see what that means). I ate my food, drank my Coke and slept until well into the evening. Woke up thirsty and J. brought me a drink - and I went back to bed and slept all night. Woke up feeling sore - not sure how much is from being in bed that long....

My throat hurts and I know I gagged a lot when they did that scope. They spritzed my throat with numbing solution - and I remember thinking 'that wasn't very much and it didn't coat the right side of my throat very well'. And then I remember starting to gag and the nurse telling me 'stop, Majah...stop'. Uh, yeah - well, if I could have, I would have and a person doesn't choose to gag. It just happens. They finished and moved to the other procedure which went fine - no polyps which is great!

So my throat is killing me and I'm still a bit 'off' but I'm dressed and heading into work shortly. It's a board meeting day which will be a long one - but I don't want to be home when I'm reasonably sure I can work. (Though as J. fills me in on the happenings around here and I can barely focus or retain anything he says, I wonder....) If I feel 'loopy', I'll just come home and return for the meeting this evening. It's worth a try.

Both boys start school tomorrow - B. actually found and registered for a couple classes all on his own - two classes that he needs. I'm really glad he made the effort to get those classes - might get two more towards his A.A. degree done before Christmas. It's good he's attempting to make progress 'cuz at the moment, I don't think enlisting is in his future. He's a long way from being ready for that....

The cleaning crew comes today and J. asked (very sweetly) if I would have time to take a try at tidying up 'my area' of the study. I said 'put police tape around it'. :-) Yes, I will try....but it's hopeless....

Later, friends. Time to get moving.

Cravings

2011-08-15T10:31:00.000-07:00

J. said 'so it's In and Out tomorrow?' after reading my last post. That was a couple hours after I wrote it - and by then, I was craving fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, etc.

It's now going into hour 41 without solid foods (the Jello doesn't really count as a solid according to the liquid diet guidelines) and I woke up (after a very, very long night) craving a rib eye steak, grilled to perfection with sauteed mushrooms and onions, with a fully loaded baked potato and a blue cheese wedge salad with pear slices and walnuts.

So I have no idea what I'll be eating - I just hope that within three to four more hours, I will be eating SOMETHING.

Mmmm....now a Carl's Teriyaki Turkey burger sounds awesome!

On a good note, I'm down three pounds!!

So grateful this procedure is once every five years.....

Roughin' It

2011-08-14T19:29:00.000-07:00

H. phoned home yesterday briefly and talked to J. Seems he was looking for a reason he 'needed' to be home today vs. spending another night in the wild. Before I headed out to work on Friday morning, I suggested a bet to J. $20 they'd be home on Sunday instead of Monday - J. refused to take the bet. And sure enough, I got up from my attempt to take a nap (and couldn't because my stomach was hungry and my head hurt) and H. came in to say 'hi'. They came home a day early and dropped R. off at his home in Roseville.

H. may be the spitting image of his dad but he's more like his mama than he knows. He likes a firm mattress, a roof over his head and prefers to take care of bodily functions in the comfort of a heated/cooled bathroom with hot and cold running water. He survived and did have enthusiastic adventure tales - but I know he's glad to be home.

I was sort of hoping they would be gone through tomorrow 'cuz I'm at 25 hours with no food and I'm a cranky byotch. I admit it. I have a raging headache which I know will only get worse. And I've taken all the 'stuff' I'm supposed to take and am still waiting for the 'clean out' to begin. Guess that's the one ok thing about a late(r) appointment - at least I can sleep in a bit in the morning.

J. is at church meeting with the new music director. I've been keeping busy doing little stuff - anything to keep my mind off food. I can't even stand to play Cafe World 'cuz everything I cook sounds luscious.

I did have lemon Jello and it was DELICIOUS!

I worked today - went in to clean my desk and bring work home because the finance system was supposed to be down. But it was up and running so I took advantage of that and got a lot more done. Feel pretty good about the status of things. It also helped to keep my mind off eating....

This time tomorrow, I will have enjoyed an In & Out cheeseburger, well-done fries and a sugar filled REGULAR coke!

You've got to treat yourself after 36 hours with no food!

Beautiful Things

2011-08-12T20:44:00.001-07:00

Humming the Gungor song 'Beautiful Things' as I type....

Here are wonderfully nice, fun things that happened today - making an ordinary Friday extraordinary.....

Started the day with a Facebook chat with my sweet cousin S. I love starting out the day 'talking' to her. We both type furiously trying to get the keys to keep up with our thoughts. It's always fun and such a lift. She mentioned that she loved my recent 'Economist" post. She gave me hope by telling me that another family member - a multi-generational die-hard right wing Republican - is moving more towards the left every day. So if that family member feels that way, I know it's possible there are many more out there that are as sick of all the crap as other Democrats are. So it was a smidgen of hope. And tons of fun. Wishing I didn't have to get ready for work 'cuz I'd rather just chat with her -
Heading downstairs after showering, I see R. in the kitchen. 'Morning, ma'am', he says. He calls me 'ma'am'. I kind of like it. He's very 'military'. I say how good it is to hear that one of the boys is in the shower and he replies 'yes ma'am and one of them is about to get ice cold water poured on them'. Alrighty then - I left him to it. Sure enough, shortly after there were some loud yelps from upstairs. Cold water works!
I went to my office and then remembered 'Starbucks opens today!'. So I picked up my co-worker/friend and we headed to the brand new store - expecting it to be mobbed! But it was a 'soft' opening so it's not too well known (yet) that it's open. So excited....
While in Starbucks, my friend ran into other friends she knows - long time district employees. I've heard their names dozens of times over the years but never connected their names with faces. My friend introduced me - and I said how glad I was to finally meet them and offered my hand to shake theirs - and this teacher who I really don't know said 'oh, no - that's not enough' and proceeded to give me the biggest hug! It was so unexpected and sweet - what a nice way to start the day - and start a new school year. She said she was so glad to finally meet me - how nice!
Our welcome back breakfast was loads of fun - our Superintendent gave a great presentation and at one point, the person sitting behind me got the giggles so much, she couldn't stop laughing. And before we knew it, our entire table was laughing so hard we were crying..prompting our Superintendent (my boss) to say 'hey, Majah, are you OK back there?'....which only made us laugh even more. His presentation was hysterical.....
I sat with a group of folks I technically supervise - I supervise their manager - and enjoyed getting to know them. They were sharing family pictures and talking about their summers and it was so nice to enjoy spending time with them. I need to do that more often. We are such a great district and are blessed with so many incredibly dedicated employees...it's such a great place to work. I felt blessed - like I do every day - but more so today. Laughter and friends is a good mix...
I worked at home last night, putting together a presentation for our board meeting. I felt pretty good about it - but wanted my boss to review it just to be sure. Presenting massive amounts of very detailed, technical information is always a challenge - and two sets of eyes are always better than one. And he was so complimentary - said it was a really great presentation. He had only a couple things to talk through - no changes, really - but just talking things through with him helped me see where I could clarify some things a little more. I got it done in plenty of time and didn't feel rushed - and was done with my to-do list 'board prep' item with plenty of hours left in the day. I appreciate having a boss who is so supportive and complimentary - but the thing I appreciate the most is how it feels like we are a team. I'm not alone in this job - we're a team. That has made such a difference in my job satisfaction and 'happiness' quotient. Don't we all just want to do good, meaningful work with people we enjoy working with? Having a boss that is so willing to be a part of the process of sharing all this information with our 'audience' (staff, parents, etc.) is such a great change in my work world.
I used my morning Starbucks receipt to enjoy my Friday afternoon treat - for about a month, now, I treat myself to a Lite Caramel Frappucino. It was AWESOME not having to drive across town to get one - and I it only cost me $2 with the treat receipt. I bought J. one, too...
J. and I enjoyed a nice dinner out - Japanese. He had purchased the little cable to allow me to plug in my iPhone/iPod into my radio - so we listened to my songs on the way to/from.
But that's not the best part....this morning (it's now Saturday evening and I'm putting the finishing touches on this long post of nothings - but all things that made me happy), my iPod is apparently permanently connected. As long as the phone is on and in my purse, my iPod will play without being connected. It's like magic....in the car!
B. cleaned out his car from stem to stern...and left me a massive amount of change for our fun money coin collection! I love it when the kids give me their change....
I worked today (Saturday) which isn't really normally something 'happy'. But it worked out ok 'cuz J. went to San Leandro to visit his brother and he ran a couple errands on the way to/from. So I went in and worked a full day - kept thinking I'd leave but was making such progress on year-end, I didn't want to stop! Huge stuff done including many of the 'hardest' things that I usually put off until the bitter end. But we're still a couple weeks away from my drop-dead date and I'm doing pretty well on getting things done little by little. I'm going to work a bit tomorrow, too....just 'cuz I'm in that 'mode' and want to just keep going.

Time to head to bed. I am tired and while I will sleep in tomorrow, I want to get up and get to work so I can hopefully have the afternoon at home. Even if I end up working at home.

I'm off on Monday for a quick medical thing - it's the every five year torture of a colonoscopy. It sucks but I'll survive it. Tomorrow is the liquid only diet day - broths, yellow jello, clear fruit juices....it will be hard but I'll make it. The worst part is the procedure itself isn't until noon-ish on Monday - and I will be shaking for sure from lack of food. Bummer! I hate that - but hopefully home by 3ish or so and then food and sleep. I don't like doing the prep - but I want to live. So it seems a fair trade off. The polyp they removed during my very first colonoscopy 10 years ago would be cancer by now if it hadn't been found and removed. This procedure could save your life - so if you are over 50 and haven't had one, DO IT NOW. Seriously. Don't delay.

One more thing that's on the 'happy things that have happened' - Harry Potter is on tonight!! It's been a movie a week every Saturday on ABC and it's so fun to watch them all again!

Peace

2011-08-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

In May, I was making plans to meet my amazing Aunt M. in Ventura. She is out on this coast to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the Great Peace March for Global Nuclear Disarmament of 1986. My aunt was a part of that event - I was 25 years old and had just moved into my second apartment. I didn't know it when she set out on the march but by the time the march ended, I was relocated up to Northern California and heading into my 'now' life - leaving everyone I knew and relocating up here - and eventually, meeting J....

I had so wanted to go to Ventura to see her - it's not often she's out this way (she lives in Massachusetts). I planned the weekend carefully - and it seemed do-able. But somehow, I sort of forgot that this coming week is the first official week back for administrators - and trying to get to/from Ventura via car and back in time for meetings first thing Monday morning (plus accommodating a commitment I had this morning that I couldn't change) became impossible. I am so sorry to have missed seeing her.

Last night, I did a Google search on the event - just to see if there was any coverage....and there she was! Front and center in a newspaper picture! She's the lady in the light blue shirt, dark glasses and a visor. That's her!! Listening, observing and I'm sure remembering all about their trek.

I don't think I could ever be so brave to give up everything I know as 'my life' at any point in time and decide that I want to walk across America to show my desire for the world to disarm and stop using nuclear weapons. And that's what she did - she picked up and walked. It was an amazing thing to do - and at the time, it was so stunning for all of us. There was no Internet for emails or blogs. No cell phones making calling easy. No way to keep in touch. And she was hugely missed.....and yet, we were all so incredibly proud of her. I can't imagine doing what she did. I've always admired her for it - such a meaningful, BIG way to confirm what you strongly feel about something.

She has always been an amazing person and is the light of so many people's lives. She's one of the people I feel closest to on this earth - and we are always able to pick up right where we left off. She's living an amazing life....

Turns Out, I'm an Economist

2011-08-05T18:00:00.000-07:00

Our nation's AAA credit rating was just lowered to AA+ with a negative outlook.

Remember before proceeding in reading this post that I write for myself. I write and post to leave memories for my kids - and to chronicle things in my life that I want to remember. These are my opinions and my thoughts - and we will often disagree with each other -

I leave you entitled to your opinion(s) and I'm entitled to mine.

I haven't written a single word about the crazy weeks we've had as a nation awaiting our elected officials to extend the debt ceiling. Not a single word. But tonight, I break my silence. And I'm hugely pissed off - are you? - so feel free to just skip over this post. Seriously.

I think Congress just got their hands slapped by Standard & Poors - and I think it was deserved. They failed us. Totally and completely failed us. It's sort of ironic that S&P is one of the very same agencies that pushed all the bad debt on institutions for years. They helped banks write really bad loans based on nothing - and they are as much a cause of the problems as any one else. But let's just skip over that for now. They are still one of the top 'ratings agencies' in the world - and so what they think matters. The rest of the world will pay attention, even if others in our country say we should ignore it.

In part, S&P states they made the decision due to the refusal of the GOP to raise taxes. And for that, I applaud them. For me, the GOP - and the fringe Tea Party'ers - acted irresponsibly in regards to the debt ceiling. They took a routine, rote function - something that has been done before by President's and Congresses of every party affiliation - for generations. It was a no-brainer. Totally a non-event.

And it was turned into a huge event - because people think debt is bad. Making a huge issue that 'we can't take on more debt'.

I get that. We (as a family) think debt is bad. We avoid it at all costs. But we can't own a home without it. We can't own a car without it. There was a time in our early married life when we needed it for the things that happened in daily life that we didn't have the cash reserves to handle - car repairs, broken water heaters, home repairs, etc. I totally understand the economy as it is now has made 'debt' a dirty word - and families all over America are tightening their belts and working hard at living within their means. And that's a great thing. It's the right thing to do - these are scary times and many people are out of work - and when your income is less or you're afraid it might be less any minute, you tighten your belt. You stop spending. And you work really hard at not adding debt to your obligations. You can't afford it. Heck, some months you're in the red so much, you think 'holy crap, what are we going to do?'. And we are there some months ourselves. Certainly still above water overall and certainly blessed with two full time jobs. But I get it. I agree that spending more than you have - and going in to debt to support a life style you can't afford - is a bad thing.

But this debt ceiling crisis was stupid and ridiculous. We're not talking about a household budget here. You want to stop going out for pizza to shore up your personal household bottom line? Great. Do that. But when your budget is the budget of a country - and not just any country, but the US - the leading economy in the WORLD - you need to lighten up a bit. The time to decide to make an issue of the 'debt ceiling' and raising it is most certainly NOT during the worst economic crisis our country has experienced since the Great Depression. It was called THE GREAT DEPRESSION for a reason, you know. Economic events of this magnitude don't come about that often - thank God - which is why we are the leading economy of the WORLD.

I had breakfast with a friend yesterday. In 2008, she purchased her first home as a 'divorced' woman. She was proud of being able to qualify for that loan. Proud to put her difficult divorce behind her and do something on her own. Yesterday, she told me she is short-selling her home - she purchased it for $365,000 and it was recently appraised for $136,000. She's decided she's too close to retirement to keep paying on her $365K mortgage when she only has an asset valued at just slightly higher than a third of what she paid for it.

I did a Zillow search of my childhood home in Phoenix - and the 'red' for sale icons were so numerous, the screen was just a sea of red.

So here's what I think Congress should do.

Require the banks - who created the crisis at it's core by writing bad loans for people who couldn't afford the loan and who never would have qualified for the loan if due diligence had been in the vocabulary of banks during the early 2000's - require them to write off the money owed by Americans on homes that are no longer worth anywhere close to the loan balance. Apply this to absolutely every home in America - with no 'rules'. Everyone qualifies. No restrictions based on income or net worth. Just apply it to all - it's fair that way.

So, if you own a $20 million dollar home and have a loans against it based on that value (or a higher value - equity lines, home improvements like pools, etc.) and consequently mortgage/loan payment based on that loan amount, and it's now worth 1/2 that - fine. Your new mortgage is based on the new 'assessed' value of the property. The bank just lost $10 million - but that's not real 'value' anyway. They loaned money on a property that is now not worth that amount - and it's the banks that need to own the brunt of the loss. Apply that scenario to absolutely every mortgage in America, across the board. Just like that, my friends mortgage payment would go from $2500+ to $800ish....and she'd spend that $1700 difference. Well, OK - she'd save a lot of it - 'cuz she's close to retirement. But she would end up spending some of it - because as the economy started to recover (spending increases demand and demand creates jobs and jobs create growth), her confidence would return and she'd lighten up her savings and spend some. Maybe she'd take a vacation. She'd put money into the house - instead of not caring what happens to it. She'd visit Home Depot and buy some flowers for her garden every Spring...little things like that.

Multiply that effect across every home in America - and there you go! Recovery - real recovery! - starts to happen.

We are underwater on our home debt and we have been for a few years. We don't worry about it - 'cuz we are both employed; we don't feel either of us are at risk of losing our jobs; and we have savings (well, we do - but God only knows what's going to happen Monday when the markets open) - so we'd take that difference and be very GOP-like - we'd pay down our debt with the 'extra'. And we'd splurge a bit more. Eat out a bit more. Travel some. Lighten the dirge of fear regarding our future by spending a little money. Paying down our debt as quickly as possible would result in us hopefully having no mortgage payment by the time we retire - so we'll have more money in retirement to stimulate the economy with. J. will play a lot of golf and we'll travel more. We will eat out and treat our kids and grand kids as often as possible to trips and meals. Hopefully help them buy their first homes, etc. All those dreams made possible by being able to stop paying on a loan for a property value that no longer exists.

'But what will happen to the banks?', you might ask. Well, as much as I'd like to say 'I don't give a rat's ass', I can't say that - because my husband is employed by one of the biggest and so I have to care. At least for four more years, anyway. Truthfully, I don't know what that answer would be. Many (more) would likely go under - and more consolidation/mergers would happen. But what would be left is entities that have loans on their books that are meaningful loans - with real value. 'Cuz right now, they have inflated loan balances (which are on their books as an asset at a hugely inflated amount vs. what the property backing those loans is actually worth) with un-real value. And that's just another shoe waiting to drop.

I told J. about my proposed solution - and he told me that there are many economists who say that is the best solution. Level the playing field and get the banks to be responsible for the devaluation of real estate all over the country. Sure, the second wave will hurt - but it won't hurt most Americans. It will hurt the banks. It will also open up home ownership again based on meaningful values and better underwriting to ensure those purchasing the home have a chance at keeping it! So I'm an economist and didn't know it!

If things don't improve, I can totally see more and more people making the decision my friend made - just walk away. If we suddenly were faced with only one income, we'd consider it - 'cuz we won't risk retirement savings to maintain our current standard of living. And I think if things don't turn around soon, more and more people all across America are just going to stop paying on those inflated loans.....live there for months while the banks force them out....and then move on. More cash in their pockets - and less in the banks.

Thanks to Standard & Poors, things are about to get a whole lot worse. I don't know what they think making this change will do - but I think they did it to make the point that our country's governance is a train wreck. I'm disappointed in all of them - including our President - though I totally think he had no choice but TO compromise. If the other party (or the 'other' other party) won't get the stick out of their asses and DO SOMETHING, then someone - and President Obama is a true leader and will lead even when others refuse to - someone has to do something.

It's infuriating how those people who refused to compromise - who refused to see that making billionaires pay their fair share instead of paying as little as most poor people pay (average tax rate for the very rich and corporations is 18%. What's yours?) was the best approach; combining increased revenue with reductions - are now blaming the President for the downgrade. Who do they think they're kidding? Do they really think we are that stupid? Are we?

I've learned a lot about leadership the past couple years. I don't consider myself a great leader by any means - but I'm learning. And one thing I know for sure about leading is that it isn't about being right or wrong. It's not about insisting your way is the only way. It is about compromising.....doing what's best for the whole vs. just some. Setting aside differences and seeing other perspectives - and making decisions based on those additional perspectives in conjunction with your own. And the most important thing absolutely required to lead is to put aside ego. Ego is poison to leadership. And most of our Congress doesn't want to lead - they want to rule. That's not leadership. And that's not America. That's not what they're elected to do. They are elected to serve - and to lead. It's time they start doing that.

The only thing I feel good about is that we have a true leader at the helm - and as hard as it is, I can't imagine where we'd be with previous leadership.

I'm glad my Monday will be a six hour meeting which will consume most of the day - so I won't have to be aware of what is happening in the market. I don't want to know until it's all over -

Blue Tooth

2011-08-05T17:53:00.000-07:00

Isn't Blue Tooth technology amazing?

My phone's in my purse - and my car automatically connects to it! I do nothing and like magic, I can make or receive calls!

I love it - not just because it makes hands free phoning so easy.

My favorite thing about it?

It makes talking to yourself in your car totally acceptable. Normal, even.

No one thinks you're crazy - they just think you're talking on your phone.

Hello!! It's August!

2011-08-04T19:06:00.000-07:00

Already. Actually well into the first week....

'Students will be here soon' mode is in full swing at work. My department is buried in year-end....but we're plugging away.

Things on the home front are quiet. B's friend R. is here - he arrived Tuesday evening and is staying through the weekend (we think. We don't actually know. And it's fine - he can stay as long as he likes).

Are you good at 'having company'? I'm better than I used to be - but still....it's that 'high alert' feeling all the time that is hard for me. The dog is 'on edge'....waiting to bark at the person who is no longer a stranger and yet disrupts her routine and keeps her on edge. She's like her mama, I guess...I'm happy to have him here [he's an easy guest and fits in well - he takes care of himself and keeps busy and doesn't require 'being entertained' to be comfortable]....but it's a change to have a 5th person in the house. Still, it's good he's here - he's not feeling well and it's better he be here with people then sitting alone in an apartment. Nothing worse than being sick and alone - so he's sick but definitely not alone.

Dinner was Subway...quick, easy and didn't require heat to prepare.

J. and I are watching a recorded "Love in the Wild" - it's a good show and gets more interesting with each passing episode. I started off thinking of it like Survivor - all strategy and manipulation. But now, it's down to five couples who (with one glaring exception) truly seem to care about each other - which is kind of neat. So it's interesting to see them working on challenges that really bring out the 'true' person....it's not as much strategy as Survivor. It's just working together and racing with the other teams to not come in last and be eliminated. It's amusing - and you know me. I want to know how it all turns out - will there actually be any love matches when the challenges are over? We'll see.

Smooshing

2011-07-29T11:41:00.000-07:00

Taking another day off (yes, already!~~~)....why not? Still have many days carried over that I need to use up -

I woke up at 4:30AM and went back to sleep. Woke up at 6:30AM and thought about getting up. Tried to go back to sleep. Couldn't. Rolled over and the next thing I knew, it was 9:10AM!! I did it! I actually slept in!!

So a hair appointment at 2PM seemed reason enough to just make a day of it - and then I was able to get in on a cancellation for my annual mammogram - so that's at 3!

I plan to treat myself to a Light Caramel Frappucino after the annual smooshing of the boobs is over.

In two weeks, the annual colonoscopy will be done - and we're adding a 'throat scope' to that as well for reflux damage diagnosis. That will be a fun day! (not).....

It will be good to have the annual stuff all done - and the every five year stuff done, too!!

Looking forward to a productive weekend around the homestead! Plenty to do - and I'm going to venture into the world of posting something on eBay for sale. Wish me luck! I'm a little nervous about it - it's hard letting go of stuff (even stuff you haven't used in decades) - but my french horn needs to be played. And I'm not playing it. And in retirement, I think the chances of me playing it are slim to none. So I'm going to try to sell it...and see what happens. Even if it's only a few hundred dollars, it's putting it in the hands of someone who might use it more than I - and it's out of our garage...

It's just hard to post it for sale - it makes me a little sad to let it go.....

I'm going to set a starting price and if it doesn't sell for that (or more), then I'm going to donate it to our district's music program.

Holey

2011-07-24T16:18:00.000-07:00

H. will be arriving home any minute with a pierced lip. Actually just under his lip.

He's 18. He could have done it without my permission....but he knew I wasn't really keen on it. So he's been bringing the subject up periodically and through his exceedingly patient approach, I finally said 'ok'. What's another piercing?

He's promised to keep it 'studs only' - nothing garish....no rings or horns or anything more strange than having a stud through your lip.

He says the chicks really dig it.

I have no response for that.....the frequent hickeys on his neck are troubling enough.

Loving Harry

2011-07-19T16:52:00.001-07:00

It is so sad to have the adventures be 'over'.....but oh, the end is just glorious. Stupendous! Brilliant! Stunning! It was so great - and I plan to see it again this weekend. I teared up a bit but held it together 'cuz the boys were with me. So I want to see it again and just let the waterworks go. Say goodbye to the adventure and to my kids' childhood. Say goodbye to watching Harry, Ron and Hermione grow up before our eyes. I need a good cry. I feel all 'stopped up' about it and I have to get that all 'out'.

It was magical and wondrous....and someday, I'm going to take two or three days and watch the DVD's all in a row from start to finish. With popcorn.

And I'm going to read all the books again - including #7 which I sort of just skimmed. It's time to enjoy the adventure from the written word, which I'm positive will be all the more amazing than the movies could ever be. I'm loving reading again and that's a really neat thing -

Shameless

2011-07-19T14:33:00.000-07:00

This is Chloe. She's doing what she does best.....begging to have her belly rubbed. She will stay like this - seemingly mesmerized - for as long as it takes for one of us to take pity on her and rub her tummy.

I am Three

2011-07-18T16:52:00.000-07:00

apparently. I have yet another ear infection....which I actually sought medical help for last week and just spared all of you the details. The dance performance we attended last Tuesday evening was loads of fun - but by the time we were at the theater, I was feeling pretty awful. A trip to the doctor the next day confirmed an ear infection. Which I knew 'cuz the earache kept me up most of last Tuesday (and several nights since).

This morning, I went back to the doctor for an injection of antibiotics and he threw in a B12 shot for good measure. I could barely walk up the stairs this morning to shower....

And any thought I had of taking off the remainder of the week were dashed when I received an email invite from my boss for a 10AM meeting on Wednesday. So there goes that idea. Oh well...I do love my job and my boss and (most of) my co-workers so getting back to the daily grind isn't too painful. Grateful to be employed and thankful it's something I enjoy doing. Working is such drudgery if you dislike what you're slaving away at - and thankfully, I've never had a job I didn't truly love.

Tomorrow, the boys and I are going to see HP7....I will bring Kleenex. It is sad to have this journey be over - the Harry Potter series is something my kids grew up with and sharing this journey with them has been such a joyful experience. It will be sad to see it come to an end....but I am looking forward to the availability of the series on e-books in October and think that might be my only Christmas wish - the entire series on my iPhone!

J. posted more pics of the beach vacation on his Facebook page - some of the underwater pics are amazing. While the color isn't great (never is with the cheap disposable underwater cameras), the pics of the boys 'in action' are terrific. H. is down 40 feet with just a snorkel! The kid's amazing!

Time to get dinner going - Asian chicken salad using up the leftover roasted chicken from last night. Off to cook for mi familia.

And since I'm (apparently) three, I'm also going to see the new Winnie the Pooh movie tomorrow - I will invite the boys though I doubt they will come. We can have lunch and then get back into the theater for the WP movie and make (practically) a day of it. We'll see...they might just humor their old mom and see a movie that will have me smiling from the inside out. I have saved every single VHS Winnie the Pooh tape we have (and pray they will still have VCRs) for my grand kids!! I refuse to part with them....they are a treasure!

One more fun-filled day with my boys and then back to work! I can do it!! (It must be the B12.....).

Two to Go

2011-07-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

Attempting to wrap my head around having only two more days off. Rationalizing trying to be off the entire week. It might be 'do-able', if I bag a couple meetings in the later part of the week. But I should just bite the bullet and head back on Wednesday as scheduled, grateful it will be a short week of only three days. Our two new administrators start this week and it will be nice to have the 'team' together for a few days before the madness of 'it's time for the school's to open again' begins in earnest mid-August. It's also time to close the books and I have massive amounts of stuff to accomplish - heading into another phase of working weekends. All the more reason to go in three days this week....head start possible?

I'm gutting the study today - so at the moment, it looks torn to shreds. But we're cleaning out and culling like crazy. Two Palm III devices 'gutted' so whatever info was in them is irretrievable. Found 5 disposable cameras - 3 that need to be developed and two that have a few shots left. J. just took the underwater disposables to Costco - watch for the amazing underwater pics on his Facebook page. Pretty great shots of the kids....some will soon be framed and on the walls here and at work. I've filled the recycle bin twice and the shred bin is refilling - H. shredded massive amounts of stuff for me a couple days ago and now he gets to do it all again! He's so lucky!

I've got my swim suit on and am heading outside to do some 'chores' out in the backyard. One last attempt to get some color from the sun.....

Will skip a nap today (hard to do - I'll miss naps the most!) and get a nice Sunday dinner going - roasted chicken with roasted potatoes, steamed broccoli and from scratch Caesar salad! Including anchovies!

B. will be home from work soon - he's getting quite a few hours which is good. He made a big down payment on his car insurance to keep his monthly payments as low as possible. Even then, he has very little discretionary income - between car insurance and gas, gym membership and cell phone, he's pretty 'tapped out'. He's learning.....

Events

2011-07-12T14:25:00.000-07:00

Awoke to an email from AmEx alerting us to fraudulent activity on J.'s card - appears his iTunes account was hacked and someone in Japan attempted to charge a bunch of stuff at a Japanese website....I do love AmEx SO MUCH - they are overnighting new cards to us and alerted us to the possible hacking by asking 'is this card used for iTunes'? A quick Google search confirmed a huge hacking incident resulting in credit card and address info being stolen - yikes!

The second shocking financial incident occurred when I retrieved several days of mail from our mailbox - the annual car insurance renewal arrived - and B.'s new insurance is FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS PER YEAR - just for him. Holy Crap! He's paying for it in full - $333 a month - which will put a dent in his discretionary income. Oh well. A couple years of no accidents will help....so here's hoping. It could have been worse - I fully expected him to be booted off our policy but thankfully, CSAA let him stay put. In a high risk pool, he'd probably pay close to that for six months of insurance - so it's good they kept him on our policy.

J. and I are heading into San Francisco for a ballet performance - dinner with (new) friends and then the show. Should be fun. We don't get out much so just getting ourselves gussied up and into the city is a big deal.

We've had B.'s friend R. here for a few days - and it's been a pleasure getting to know him. He is a good 'fit' here - blends right in and takes care of himself. He has a standing open invitation to return as often as he wants, whenever he wants - and I encouraged him to consider staying here long(er) term if he needs to. I don't think someone should make relationship decisions based on needing housing - he's a good kick in the ass for both boys and holds them accountable for a lot of things -

OK - got to go get gussied up. Tomorrow is my first 'no commitment' day of my 'staycation' and I can't wait!

Upgrade!

2011-07-10T08:05:00.000-07:00

We spent the few hours we needed to kill at the neighbors who graciously agreed to let us store luggage at their condo. The mom invited us in and we chilled there for a few hours - watching TV and watching the HUGE storm that came in. Pouring, POURING rain, lightening, thunder, wind..it was wild!! We were so grateful to be cool and dry and have a place to spend a few hours. The boys went to town to get henna tattoos, which was unfortunate because the rain started during their tattoo application - so they both were smudged. Poor H. slipped and fell into about 12 inches of rain water that was flooding the intersection - he was soaked and dirty and our shuttle was arriving any minute. J. (who should win Father of the Year for his heroics) used our neighbors blow dryer to hand-dry H.'s new red Converse shoes (the only shoes he had to wear home) and we used their clothes dryer to dry his shirt. He pulled a pair of shorts out of the dirty laundry suitcase and wore those home.

We had a delicious lunch delivered to us by Aldi - who though soaking wet, seemed (as he always did) happy to be helpful and happy to have something to do. Not a lot of need for a cabana boy when it's pouring rain. It was a fun few hours and we were so grateful to M. and H. opening their home to us and spending their last full day hosting neighbors they barely knew.

The gate staff at the airport announced they had four first class seats available - so I tried to use miles. While I have plenty (tons) of miles, they were (apparently) not the kind I could use to upgrade (?). I asked how much to upgrade just using cash and it was $350. I said 'ok'....but then quickly said 'never mind - I'm ok'. I'd already upgraded to 'Economy Plus' (for $59) and was fine with that - and while I really wanted to fly first class (never done that on a longer flight and have only EVER done it once on a quick trip), I didn't want to spend the money.

When I boarded the flight and approached my seat - 7D - first row in Economy class, there was someone standing and blocking my seat. So I waited and he said 'are you seated here?' 'Yes'. 'We'd like to ask you to trade with us - would you take my wife's seat in first class so we can all sit together'? 'Um....yes, sure - thank you!'. SO I DID FLY HOME FIRST CLASS and it didn't cost me a dime.

And I know one thing now with certainty: it's not really worth it. It wasn't any more comfortable than in Economy Plus. Sure, there are fewer people vying for one bathroom and you don't have to walk very far to the bathroom. And yes, your meal is better - it's on plates with real silverware and it was good. But the seats weren't very comfortable - really....they aren't! And maybe it's the changes at United (since their merger with Continental) - but they just don't really make First Class an 'experience'. We got one drink service - and then she refilled water the entire time. She wasn't 'engaged' in making First Class an upgrade - so it really wasn't that great. And that's good for me to know 'cuz it sort of takes the 'mystique' out of it. Why pay extra just to have slightly better bathroom access and a meal on plates? Seriously - no point. So that's good for me to have experienced 'cuz I don't think I would pay more than double an economy ticket to fly First Class....

Maybe if we ever fly around the world or something.....like New Zealand or Asia or something? But not for a flight that's not a really, REALLY long haul.

We arrived in San Francisco 45 minutes early - and were home just after 10PM. Spent an hour making up with Klink who expressed his discontent with his loud, low 'whiny' cry. I brushed him and cuddled with him and he settled down - content his family is home. This morning, he's looking around for Chloe and we'll be picking her up at 3 (as soon as the kennel opens for Sunday pickups).

This morning is a trip to the grocery and unpacking. B. is having a houseguest for a couple days...so that will be interesting. I need to meal plan and get ready for 'company'. And - sadly - I have to go into work for an hour or so tomorrow morning. I plan to get up early and get it over with....and the good thing about it is: it is the last 'work' I will have to do until the 20th. There are only two signers in our district and I'm one of them - so I need to go in and sign things, review things that need reviewing, get things moving forward as much as I can and then I'm done....

We had a really great vacation and it was a lot of fun. We're all glad to be home....but already dreaming of our next trip to Mexico.

Adios, Playa

2011-07-09T08:34:00.000-07:00

We awoke this morning to no power. Which also meant no water - the city water requires pumps and the pumps are electric. No backup, apparently. It went off around 5AMish (I just happened to be awake) and thankfully, came back on around 8. We're checked in to our flights and J. trekked to the internet cafe to print boarding pases so we're all set.

We're packing up - and then we get to kill three hours somewhere - have to be out of the condo by 11AM and our van to the airport doesn't pick us up until 2PM....bummer. And it's HOT here today - though I see a little cloud cover coming from the east which may help. We're dressed for scorching heat and the plane ride home will be an icebox.

It's been a lovely trip....

Hard to leave this magical place but we will return. We're thinking we could open a dive shop (H. is a fish - he dove down 40 feet while snorkeling - the kid's a natural!) and J. could open a laundry service. I can do just about anything and if we sell everything we own and rent a couple rooms in a hostel, we could manage for quite awhile....though I'm not sure a hostel is my 'style'.

We took all our leftovers - beer, sodas, ham, cheese, bread, etc. - to our Swedish neighbors who were grateful for the extras.

We'll have a nice meal somewhere and then try to find a place to sit with AC - Starbucks comes to mind - though it's a bit of a trek but we have plenty of time.

A neighboring condo - a mom and daughter from Scottsdale - are letting us store our luggage in their place so we don't have to go through town rolling huge bags everywhere. Very nice of them....

OK - time to sign off and put the laptop in the rolling backpack. Signing back on sometime tomorrow in Los Estados Unidos....

Storm!

2011-07-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

WOW -

I am home alone....nice....miss the 'boys' but enjoying the quiet.

There is a HUGE storm....within the last 5 minutes, there is huge thunder! Wind!! The dive boats are coming in FAST. People are RUNNING to shelter.....

I'm worried about the family - out on a boat somewhere - hoping they are OK. The sea is very rough and it happened instantly - and it's POURING buckets of rain....

I had just decided to get dressed in 'presentable' clothes and was heading into town for something to eat and a little shopping....looks like I'll be hunkered down here for a bit.

What an amazing change - mother nature is in control and she just gave us all a reminder.....

UPDATE: As quickly as the downpour arrived, it left....still cloudy but not windy. The sea is calming down and the boats went back out. Saw a ferry coming from Cozumel but the boys aren't on it - so they must be still diving. I think I'll walk into town and find something to eat....

Souvenirs

2011-07-07T19:15:00.000-07:00

We enjoyed a so-so dinner in town....a little disappointing but it was ok. Not great. They were a little too 'helpful' - offered tastes of wine and then tried to sell us a bottle. Brought an appetizer plate of queadillas, which we didn't order...but we ate them anyway....oh well. (One good things about two young men - nothing goes to waste). They tried to put sombreros on our heads and take pictures - we strongly declined. The guy said 'maybe tomorrow'....yeah, right. Not likely. They serve breakfast after 10 - which seems odd but might be perfect for Saturday. We have to vacate the condo by 11 and the shuttle to the airport won't pick us up until 2.
We'll have 3 hours to kill with nowhere to go - so maybe having a good, hearty breakfast out somewhere would pass the time - and get us through without lunch. We can buy airplane snacks on the trip home....

After dinner, the boys headed back to the condo and J. and I did a little shopping. Got all my souvenirs purchased so that's done. I might shop a bit alone tomorrow - J. and the boys are going snorkeling at Cozumel and will be gone most of the day. I'm fine with it...a nice quiet ending to our week here will suit me fine, I think.

We've watched the Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part I a couple times so we're well prepared for the next release! H. and B. never made it to the theater to see it - so it's good they are catching up. I don't think we'll go the first week it's out - too crowded. But definitely the weekend after I go back to work.

Blah...just typing and thinking that makes me feel sick.....

It's still raining - so it makes the normal mugginess even more sticky. It is considerably cooler outside - but there are so many bugs and we're all eaten alive already...so we're staying 'in' with the AC on.

I've finished one book and am starting on another....enjoying discovering a new series of books about a female bounty hunter and the zany people she works with. There are a lot of books in the series so it's neat to feel excited about a lot of great reading ahead. And loving my iPhone - loads of books without any weight!! It's great!

It's approaching 10PM - bedtime. Boys need to get to bed early so they will be able to get up in time to catch the 8AM ferry to Cozumel for their dive.

Scattered

2011-07-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

It's a rainy day here en la playa....so we've spent the morning playing Scattegories (more fun than you think it will be) and watching various movies. The rain isn't a pouring rain but is a steady drizzle. J. walked on the beach quite a ways (and I have to hand it to him - he's the most 'mobile' and motivated of the bunch!) and needed a towel to dry off.

The boys slept until noon-ish (typical) and awoke starving (also per usual). They are still bug-bitten, sunburned and somewhat cranky about things. I keep reminding B. that there will be plenty of bugs in the Navy so he might want to simmer down a bit on the 'indignant' approach he's taking to bugs biting him. As if the bugs should care....in his defense, while my bites are an allergic reaction gone nuclear, he has dozens and dozens of bites. I have a few - they are bad - but he is virtually covered in bites. So I do understand his issue....

H. has no bites but is a peeling, sunburned wreck. Cranky doesn't begin to describe his 'mood' on this fine day. This too, shall pass. I hope.

We will probably enjoy a nice dinner in town tonight and tomorrow - and will be giving away food at the pool on Saturday morning. Some we can/will pack up and take home - but some might be left for the cleaning crew and/or neighbors. There's always plenty of people here and I'm sure the food won't go to waste.

I need to shop a bit tomorrow for souvenirs, etc. We made our way to Starbucks for this year's version of the Playa del Carmen Starbucks mug. Love it though it's considerably smaller than the last version we got two years ago.

It's sort of nap time. I'm trying to resist but it's futile. A nap a day has become a part of the routine. Makes it easier to stay up late with the kids, keeping an eye on them and watching AXN (Action) TV. There's plenty of TV on for English speaking folks - and J. has taken to watching with his headphones on and using only the Spanish subtitles to follow the program. He's doing pretty well.

If we lived here, I'm sure we'd be speaking in no time - just from watching TV. And the commercials.

Owies

2011-07-06T15:43:00.000-07:00

It wouldn't be a vacation without the injuries that come from sun and sea....and we're all wounded....

We are all covered with mosquito bites - and I'm highly, HIGHLY allergic to them....recalling last time, the same thing happened. My legs are covered in huge, HUGE patches of red, inflamed skin. It looks like some horrible skin condition - and they don't just itch....they HURT. I wake up in the mornings and can barely put weight on my legs....the skin feels like it's going to just explode. I know..TMI. But I'm trying to provide a description of what it's like. I've been reading all about 'Skeeter Syndrome' - it's real...and I have it, it seems. I'm sore and they won't subside - no amount of cortisone will help. And I now remember - where it does me absolutely no good to remember - that what finally helped last time we were here was Bendryl cream, which I wasn't able to find here. Still the same story. It was so bad that I bought the liquid Benadryl and swabbed it on the bite areas, hoping it would work. It didn't. My legs were just covered in sore, red, itchy, painful lesions AND sugary, sweet syrup which then attracted ants! Lovely!

H. and B. went SCUBA diving this morning - and H. encountered fire coral - stung his knee pretty badly. All that's left is a small, red welt - but at one point, B. said it looked like H. had a second knee - the area swelled up massively - and then calmed down. Poor H. also got a very bad sunburn on his first day here - it's now blistered and still sore. He tried to cover the area where his tanks would be with bandaids - and when he had to pull them off, it took a bunch of his skin with the bandaids. The poor kid spent the afternoon on the couch feeling 'miserable'. It hasn't helped him that the first night here, he left his red Converse high tops on the patio - forgetting that this is a ground floor unit - and they were stolen! They were the only shoes he's brought - so he's been borrowing pairs of J.'s for now.

J. just returned from la Pharmacia with the crema the dive master recommended for H.'s knee - and it works wonders on bites as well! So hopefully, we'll turn a corner on the bite front. B. is absolutely covered with them - dozens and dozens of bites. He doesn't get the massive, spreading welts I get - but he has a lot more bites than I do.

Still, we spent the late afternoon enjoying burgers, fries and cocktails on the chaises and enjoying watching the world go by. There are people from all over the world here and it's fun to watch people.

We're already planning our return - 10-14 days next time and the only thing making me hesitate on staying longer is the thought of poor Chloe being at the puppy spa too long....

H. and B. are heading into town for some night life. I let it go....they are both pretty responsible and stick together well when they're out and about. H. told me the first morning that they were offered any and all variety of illegal substances in town - and declined them all and got the heck out of the place pronto! H. is heading to the in-town Converse store to get a new pair - and these, he will carefully leave inside.

For all the injuries and owies (H. said 'Mom, I have a bad owie'....like he used to when he was 3), we're still managing to have a great time!

It's really dark in here - and I realized I still have my sun glasses on. Time to get cleaned up post-beach.

Pics

2011-07-03T14:30:00.000-07:00

With a Malibu Rum and Coke nearby, I give you this pictorial essay:

View from the condo

Son #2 working on his tan

Son #1

Oh-oh-oh Mexico

2011-07-03T10:11:00.000-07:00

(think James Taylor when you read the title).....

We are here.....it is lovely. The flight was long and the wait in lines for customs and to get clearance to leave the airport were also long...but we made it. Too tired to walk too far for dinner so we headed to Fusion - the club next to the condos. Had a decent dinner...not cheap but not too bad. Sadly, Club Bang closed - so there goes my Miami Vice's delivered to me poolside...or so I thought. H. just informed me that there is a guy who will bring anything you want right to you on the chaise lounges reserved for Luna Encantada 'residents'. Yeah!! We'll have to try that out this afternoon -

J. and I made it to MegaMart this morning for groceries. We're well stocked with snacks, breakfasts, lunches and assorted beverages. We even bought a 12 pack of Corona - much cheaper than individually at a bar!

We've had a swim and walked the town a bit. The boys were just getting up as we returned from the market - it's now 1PM but it feels earlier. Two hours later here than home.

Amused that some of my games on Facebook are partially in Spanish - and so is Blogger. The computer knows where we are.....

I have today and tomorrow to do 'nothing'. Tuesday we're planning a day trip of some kind - not sure where yet. Wednesday the boys are going SCUBA diving a couple times - and then they'll probably want to do that a couple more times the subsequent days. It's fine - I'm happy sitting by the pool, swimming, going to the ocean in front of the condo and just doing as little as humanly possible.

It's fun to be back....

I just did spellcheck - and it's apparently in Spanish. Every word of this post is a spelling error....so forgive me if there are actual errors....estamos a la playa!

Baby Heaven

2011-06-30T17:45:00.000-07:00

Meet Bubbs......

No, that's not his name.....he has a perfectly great name....it's his cute nickname.....and it suits him. He is the most precious, sweetest thing I've held in a long, long time.

You forget how they start out so tiny and so totally dependent.

You forget how easy it is to fall totally, madly in love.

He is just precious - and I'm so happy to be a person who gets to watch him grow....and gets to watch his parents raise him. It was a lovely morning and I'm so glad he's here!!

J. said 'seeing you so happy in that picture means one thing: you need grand kids'.

Yes, I do...but not for 10 years or so......

I had J. edit the picture a bit - and it's even sweeter that he named the photo 'bugbaby'.....my sweet friend Bug is a mama! The adventure begins for her and her hubby....

Obsessions

2011-06-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

Months of planning are culminating into the mad dash towards the goal: getting to (and returning from) a week at the beach in one piece with my sanity intact.

Met with the lovely lady who's watching over the house for us this morning. Walked her through the pet routine, etc. Gave her a three page list of the pet routines, veterinary info, etc. Phone number of where we'll be and email addresses, too. Just in case. She's caring for a 13 year old feline and a ?? year old neurotic bird - anything could happen. I feel happy to have her watching over stuff 'cuz I know she will do a good job.

I am heading into Livermore for brunch with N. and her new baby - can't wait to cuddle him! Then running a couple (more) errands - heading home to start the packing. Leaving notes for the boys, who both promised they'd be up early this morning - and they're not. I even vacuumed outside their doors and didn't hesitate to bang the floorboards or their doors 'accidentally' - and still, they sleep. Oh well. They will awake to 'to do' lists carefully crafted and left for them on the kitchen table. You can sleep but you can't escape the pre-vacation lists! They will be done before we leave the house at 4:30AM on Saturday morning. Ugh. Just writing that is painful. Won't be a bit hard for me - I'm up early fairly often, including at 5AMish this morning on a 'vacation' day - but the boys? That's another story entirely. Will bribe them with McDonald's for breakfast so we can get on the road - it's a long drive to SFO from here.

I can't wait to try my new iPhone Starbucks app and pay with my phone! It's like the greatest thing EVER and I can't wait to see if it works!! (It won't work in Mexico, sadly - but oh well! We have cash for down there since my gold card means nothing to them)......

J. is off starting tomorrow - so they'll be an extra set of hands. We've got the bathroom scale in the garage to weigh our bags and are strategically adding things as we can. Peanut butter, coffee, snacks, coffee creamer, etc. are ready to be taken with us - hoping we have room. It makes that first evening/morning so much easier if we have that stuff on hand. The boys could live on peanut butter alone if they had to!

It's a beautiful day - warm but not miserably so. Hoping the huge heat stays away - but setting all the thermostats for 84 - J. suggested 89 but that's way too hot - if we arrive home to an upstairs that's 89, we won't be able to sleep up there....so we will plan for 84 and hope it helps. I'm also going to unplug anything we don't need to be plugged in - can openers, coffee makers, etc. Reminding everyone when they look at me like I'm nuts that every little thing draws power, even when it's not being used. So UNPLUG!!

I hope to unplug successfully myself.....sort of wishing we'd tried for 10 days 'cuz I know about the time I really start unwinding, it will be time to come home. I have projects planned for the two weeks I'm home - but wow, the time is already flying by. It's an age, thing, I think -

Adios. More from the beach, including pictures if I can figure out how to take them and download them from my iPhone.

Pressure

2011-06-26T14:15:00.000-07:00

Up and moving at 5:30AM this morning - on a Sunday! A friend invited me to attend a cooking demonstration at Williams & Sonoma in Pleasanton...it was lots of fun! And of course, there was shopping. Got up early because I woke up and didn't want to go back to sleep and have the alarm wake me up just a short hour later....

Dinner tonight was a delicious pot roast - cooked in just under an hour in our new pressure cooker! It was fork tender and deliciously delicious!! Do you remember your mom having a pressure cooker? My mom did - it was huge and heavy and scary....rattling and 'spitting' and making a huge racket - and my mom cautioning us to 'stay away' whenever it was on the stove. Like it was determined to blow up at any minute. Now, they make an electric model - takes all the guesswork out of it getting to 'full pressure'....and all kinds of safety features. If there's any hint of pressure remaining, the lid will not open. And the 'quick release' works easily to release the pressure. It was a breeze to use and the roast came out perfectly! Being able to make things in 1/3 the time will make workday evening dinners so much easier -

It's starting to look like a family is going on vacation - 'packing areas' are springing up. Things I don't want to forget are going into a Sephora tote bag and I'm gathering as I see stuff. I've been saving the little samples and small pieces of Zum soap to take with us. The water is pretty hard there and having a good soap will make a difference. Also taking the Purell wash/dry sheets we took two years ago - they didn't clean perfectly but they sure are easier to pack than liquids. Sunscreen, aloe, sunburn cream, etc. In a perfect world, I'll be practically 'done' by the time Friday rolls around! I hope so -

I've loaded some books on my iPhone to read on the trip - but I already finished one book and am more than half way through another. It's great to have the 'joy' of good books again - and to really enjoy that break from busy days. Not sure why the electronic delivery method makes such a difference, but it really does.

I'm planning to pack incredibly lightly - learned last time that I will live in bathing suits and my cover ups, capri pants, t-shirts and one pair of jeans - which will be the pair of jeans I'll wear on the plane to/from. I can pack far less then I did last trip. United has changed their international luggage policy and we can only have one checked bag each. We're already resigned to paying the fee for one extra bag - the snorkels, fins, masks, etc. take one duffel on their own....

I work tomorrow and Tuesday. Having lunch with a friend in Tracy on Wednesday. Having lunch with Bug and her baby on Thursday. J. is off on Friday and we'll be madly busy getting everything nailed down around here. House sitter will come over Thursday evening to get the list and tour and pick up the key. She will come once a day and water the patio plants, pick vegetables (if there are any) and feed the bird and the cat. Chloe will go to the puppy spa on Friday. J.'s going to take her 'cuz my heart can't take it. Last time I took her, she sat down and wouldn't budge - made me worry the entire time we were gone that she was unhappy.....I'm sure she's well cared for but it's not home.

I know exactly how she feels.....I'm missing home too and we haven't even left yet....

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T08:12:00.000-07:00

[I'm writing my own card to my sweet husband].....

To J.,

For always being there for your sons.....

For always being there for your wife.....

For laundry, dishes, mowing, weeding, trimming, sweeping and the myriad of stuff you do around here......

For waking up each morning ready to start another day of being the head of this family, always smiling.....

For laughter and love and happiness......

Happy Father's Day!

There isn't a Hallmark card on earth that can put into words how much I love and admire you, sweets! I can't imagine parenting with anyone else - and I love you more than words can say....

Love,

Wifey

Nirvana in the Neighborhood!

2011-06-18T20:31:00.000-07:00

J. and I went shopping today for some 'beach' clothes - headed to Manteca for the bigger JC Penney there (vs. the small one in our mall here). We'd planned a date of shopping and lunch - the first time we've spent together on any kind of 'just us' activity in a long time. Well, except last weekend when we did yard work together - but that hardly qualifies as a 'date', right?

Before heading out of town, we went to the bank and deposited H.'s paycheck for him - down to $2.20 in his account.....he was glad to get that paycheck. Especially glad 'cuz they are both buying the majority of their own gas these days - it's been quite an eye opener for them both to see just how quickly they're using it. They are both driving less; driving more slowly; starting more slowly from a stop....all the things we've been nagging them to do. Take away the money bag - and viola! They become frugal! Next on the list of things we won't pay for much longer is car insurance....

Upon pulling out of the shopping center, there it was.....the familiar logo staring at me; her mermaid eyes beckoning....yep! Starbucks is opening in the shopping center nearest our house - and I was so excited!! I was practically dancing in the car!! I won't go everyday - 'cuz McDonald's iced tea is $1 for a large vs. $2.95 for a Trenta black iced tea from the mermaid....but it's just so great to have it be so close by - a nice treat now and then....lattes on cold winter mornings when I'm going in super early.

Our shopping trip was successful and lunch was delicious - Red Robin. Yum!!

Work was a long, slow slide into 'holy crap, I do this process [the budget] every year and I always seem to forget just how time consuming it is'....but it's done! I actually was off yesterday - which is unbelievable! That has NEVER happened - but I had a great helper this week and she plowed through a lot of my board prep easily and quickly - making it very easy for me to get stuff done in plenty of time - and to be off yesterday. I needed it - I'm beat!

Two weeks from today, we'll be in Mexico - and I'm starting to get excited about the trip. I just hope I don't sleep the entire wee we're there.....'cuz that's what I feel like doing - just sleeping for days on end.

I'm loving my iPhone! Using it as a reader and enjoying reading more than I have in a long time. I'm going to buy a couple more books to download for the trip - a six hour plane ride and time on the beach will allow for plenty of reading time.

Summer!

2011-06-12T17:19:00.000-07:00

FINALLY! Sweltering heat!! Temps in the mid-to-high 80's and it's finally feeling like summer. The pool is 'up' to 76 degrees - the 'up' is still not high enough for me....nor anyone else in the house at the moment. Soon, though...very soon!

I'm ending the busy (filled with work) weekend in a productive way - we just fertilized and weed-protected both lawns. The front one is looking pretty horrible - though the pretty purple and yellow teeny, tiny flowers add a certain flare, I think. Still, the weedy stuff is taking over and we are hopeful the magic of Scott's Turf Builder with Weed protection will do the trick. Nothing else we've tried has. The spray-on stuff just doesn't 'stay' long enough to do anything, I guess....

So with an ice cold Blue Moon in hand, I head to the kitchen to concoct something for dinner (again, with J.'s help) and trying to 'relax' a bit. Another crazy busy week looms - but oh well. This time three weeks from now, we'll be on the beach in Playa del Carmen without a care in the world - except getting up the energy to walk downtown to decide where to eat dinner! We are getting more excited everyday -

My lovely Bug had a baby boy yesterday! I'm practically stalking all of her family on Facebook to find as many pics of him as possible - he's a cutie! And lots of black hair! I can't wait to see her and hope we can visit soon - congratulations to the new family and most especially to the new mommy. It's such a special time....

I have a couple posts in draft stage but need pics - so maybe later this week, I'll get there. Hopefully, I won't be working next weekend - which will be the first non-work weekend in a long time.

Happy Sunday and Happy Monday!! Yeah for summer! And again, a heartfelt welcome to Baby P. ! Can't wait to see you, Bug!!

i

2011-06-04T08:15:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday - and no, that's not a reason for a post....acknowledging my 51 years on the planet is just another day -

My husband got me what I really, really wanted....I don't need it, there's no logical reason for procuring it - but we got H. one for his grad gift and J. came home with one for me - just what I asked for.....

A shiny, lovely, totally awesome iPhone!

And the neatest thing about it so far (there are so many but today in particular this one is the best) is how it 'pings' me to tell me someone has posted something on my Facebook wall - so I've enjoyed lovely birthday greetings all morning. [Thanks to my friend J. in Dublin who just now posted - heard the chime as I was typing - thanks for thinking of me, J.]....

What a great way to start the first day of my 52nd year on earth.

The first free book that downloaded automatically was Winnie the Pooh and it was hard not to spend all day yesterday sitting and reading. But I didn't 'cuz that would be terribly wrong.

I've downloaded Angry Birds and Tiny Wings - two highly recommended games for when you need to pass the time.....

And one book by a new author - the first of the 'Immortal Series' by Alyson Noel.

I love it and while I feel a teeny bit bad about spending the money on something I don't need, it makes me happy.....I've wanted one since they first came out and now I have one....and it's great. I haven't actually had a personal cell for a long time 'cuz the kids' phones broke and H. has been using my old phone as his phone....then it broke too....so now we're all set for the forseeable future.

I am spending the day at work - which sucks....but it's just that time of year....budgets don't build themselves when you work for a state entity. So....off to the trenches.

It's raining today. It's June and it's 55 outside. The weather is crazy here......I wore a sweater most of the week 'cuz it's chilly.

Thanks to all for the birthday greetings - it will be a great day. I will accomplish much and then enjoy a delicious Chinese food take out dinner with my family.

Introducing....

2011-05-28T18:21:00.000-07:00

By the hair on his chinny chin chin....

On a wing and a prayer....

With help from amazing teachers and awesome guidance counselors....

Courtesy of one dedicated, loving, inspiring Dad and all the gray hairs on his Mom's right temple....

[drumroll please]....

H. J. M. - Tracy High School graduate!!

Let Me Eat Cake

2011-05-26T19:29:00.001-07:00

Through a very long day (and a fun one - more on that in a later post), I craved a piece of chocolate cake with a big glass of ice cold milk. Leftovers from H.'s party last night.

Got dinner started. J. finished getting dinner served.

Headed into the kitchen.....and found the last few bites of cake being devoured by the former birthday boy. He and his brother polished off about 2/3 of a quarter sheet cake today by themselves.

So I did what any rational person would do.

I went to Raley's and got another cake.

Correction

2011-05-26T05:36:00.001-07:00

J. emailed me yesterday to correct that the person with the MamaG nickname isn't H.'s friend, it's one of his friends' mother.....still neat to have another mom around with that name that means so much to us. My mom was MamaG to her grand kids from day 1 40+-some-odd years ago and it should live on. Hmmm...maybe I'll figure out a variation of that for my grand kids someday. No hurry, though...

Party was a great success. H.'s friends kept the secret and when he walked in the restaurant he was surprised appropriately. It was a quiet dinner - with J. and I attempting lively, witty conversation and quiet, polite kids eating and making limited attempts at conversation. I'm sure they were glad to go on their merry way and 'chill' after dinner. But it was nice.

Still no update on grad status. Though we were told grades were due yesterday, there are some teachers still giving finals....so it may be a long wait today. J. will be checking the online grading throughout the day.....so we'll see. Cautiously optimistic is the flavor of the day....

Today is a glorious meeting-free day and like yesterday (two quick meetings in that day), I hope to plow through a lot of budget stuff. Can make steady progress when I have the chance to just sit and work. Tomorrow also promises to be a quiet day - though we have our annual retirement luncheon so that will be a forced mid-day break of some duration. Not too many retirees this year so it should go quickly - I hope. For more reasons than just that I'm busy....the person who left abruptly at the start of the new year will be returning for the celebration and there's a fair amount of 'concern' about how that will go. I'm sure professionalism and common courtesy will rule the day.

Have actually been conversing with son #1 the past couple days (I shouldn't say that like it's a rare thing but it is a rare thing - rarely see him and when I do see him, he's usually irritating the heck out of me....so a conversation that was pleasant and entertaining is a welcome change) - he was up very early with me yesterday because he hadn't slept all night. He thinks he's having 'sleep issues'. I think he drinks too much caffeine after 5PM, works out and watches movies that get him all ramped up between 9PM and midnight and then wonders why he can't shut down and relax. So yesterday, he stayed awake ALL DAY - a quick 20 minute cat nap before the party - and appears to have slept some - which is good. Hope he sticks to it. Sometimes listening to the sage advice of your parents is the right thing to do.

It's May 26th and the heater just came on - it's below 50 degrees outside. Our PGE bill is loving it!! but it's cold and cloudy and rain looks possible. Strange weather these days -

Just Stuff

2011-05-25T04:47:00.001-07:00

Not all that exciting but things to highlight on this Spring day:

1) The New York 26 election yesterday has me somewhat a fan of the Tea Party. The TP candidate (I love that acronym, don't you?) drew votes away from the conservative candidate to ensure a victory for the liberal candidate. American politics at work! Considering the conservative candidate was campaigning on 'abolish Medicare', her loss is not all that surprising to me. But according to Yahoo this morning, conservatives are confused about the defeat. Hmmm.....confused.....

2) I wasn't the least bit surprised about our former Governor's confession that he'd fathered a child 10 years ago with a household staff member. I mean, they announce they are separating - and you know there has to be a lot more to the story....so it's finally all coming out. What does amaze me is how it was kept secret for so long. Behold, the power of money - and a great publicist.

3) My baby turns 18 today. My little HB (his baby nickname - it's really cute but I can't tell you because then I'd have to disclose his full name. I could also sing you the little song I used to sing for him when he was a baby wherein I compare him to a loaf of bread...but again, you'd hear his name....) is a man today. Sort of.

I've been thinking a lot about my baby - how he was as a little guy vs. how he is now. And there are some striking things that have come up the past few weeks that strike me as 'inborn' in him vs. acquired.

First thing: the kid doesn't want to work too hard. He was a breast fed baby - no, this won't turn into a breast feeding vs. bottle feeding debate - but he was easily frustrated at the amount of effort it took. He just didn't want to have to give it sooo much effort to be full. I actually had a breast infection of some kind that required me to pump and give him my milk in a bottle - and from that point forward, the little bugger refused to nurse. He wanted his milk from a bottle....so for three months, I was a human cow and spent huge chunks of my day attached to a pump. He's like that now - just doesn't want to put in too much effort on things.

We're still awaiting the 'will he graduate on Saturday or not' - hopefully, we will know by today.

Second thing: he's a charmer. He has this quiet, almost reclusive demeanor about him and people gravitate towards him. Sure, he was an adorable (ADORABLE) baby - all hazel eyes and thick brown hair and who doesn't love a baby - but he was really aloof most of the time to most people. But if he attached to you, he attached with all his might.....he's loyal and loving and such a hoot so much of the time....and he still is. He's just taller and bigger and older - but much the same as his baby self.

We are celebrating with a party tonight. Shhh....don't tell him. It's a surprise. (Don't worry - he doesn't read my blog....).

Also, H. is now wearing contacts - and I think the thing he likes the best about them is how he can order different colors and change his 'look'. He paid for a box of 'light brown' - they look just like the color of Edward's eyes after he's been hunting [if you don't know who Edward is, read Twilight...you won't regret it] - H. says 'yeah, Mom - the chicks really dig that whole vampire eye thing'....the kid is deadly handsome and charming (see above) and now, he can switch up his eye color too. Though his hazel eyes (which are like mine and change color on their own depending on what he's wearing) are still his most striking feature and I don't know why he feels compelled to change them with lenses - but oh well. He's got his own money and if he wants to spend it on lenses, it's ok with me...

4) I was signing some stuff at work yesterday (sometimes I feel like signing stuff is all I do all day....my signing folder is typically brimming and I'll sign a massive amount of stuff and leave for a meeting and come back to find it massively full again - repeat several times per day, everyday) and realized what the date was. Yesterday was the 11th anniversary of my mom's death - and for a minute, I felt my body just sort of 'collapse' at that reminder. 11 years is a long time to be without your mom. I miss her. Life goes on without her - but I miss her. On a happy note, yesterday, J. told me that H.'s newest 'friend who happens to be a girl' has a nickname that everyone calls her - MamaG. Not sure where that nickname for her came from - but H. told her that was his grandmother's nickname and she got a kick out of that. She'll be at the party tonight so I can't wait to find out about that nickname.....she's a sweet girl....and her dad's a cop! If that doesn't keep H. on the straight and narrow, nothing will!

OK - it's just after 5AM and I promised myself I would be at my desk by 6. It's budget time.....that time of year when I work way too much and stress a huge amount about a document that has to be board approved by the end of June. On a good note, we are not having to take the drastic hit to our revenue that we were planning for - so that's good news. Though I'm implementing a budget based on things that haven't actually been approved by the Legislature.....which is always true. The State rarely has a budget when school districts are required to prepare theirs. It's so odd....but this is my fifth time doing this process so I'm used to it.

Fireplace in May

2011-05-15T19:39:00.000-07:00

Mother Nature has been really switching things up. The day started sunny. Then cloudy. Sky full of BROWN clouds....a sign something was happening up there. Sure enough - HAIL! Lots of hail. Enough that B. made a large baseball sized lump of it and posted it on his Facebook page. Hail has fallen several times in the past few hours.

It's May 15th and we have a fire going in the fireplace. Homemade turkey chili and cornbread for dinner.

Other family news:

H. got contacts this week. He has an astigmatism - like his mom. And glasses just aren't 'cool' so he's paying for contacts. Our insurance covered part and he's paying the difference.

B.'s leg is improving, slowly. I gave him advice that I got from someone who's had shin splints - and NOT moving and 'taking it easy' is the worst thing possible to do. So he's back to doing some 'impact' running - and walking. And we encouraged him by buying him a new pair of running shoes with inserts - hoping that a new pair of shoes [he was in need of a new pair - he was running a lot and his old shoes needed to be replaced] would help get him off his toukas. It worked. He's back at work and finishing up his last week of school.

H. appears to be on track to graduate. I write that feeling like I'm jinxing something - but he's pretty sure he's doing OK and J. concurs. Hoping that's true. He picks up his cap and gown this week and pays for Senior Beach Day tomorrow - only nine days of school left for him. Graduation is the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend.

J. and I enjoyed a wonderful date night last night. We had Thai Cafe for dinner and then walked across the street to The Grand Theatre and enjoyed a benefit concert for the Tracy Free Clinic. Our family doctor - Dr. V. who we all love - is one of the founding doctors of the clinic. We enjoyed an eclectic jazz by Mads Tolling Quartet. Not your typical jazz - no reeds, no horns. Just Mads on violin (and oh my gosh, he is so incredibly talented - you can search for him on You Tube - Mads Tolling - and see his performances), a bass player (standing bass and bass guitar), drums and electric guitar. It was terrific!! and two hours flew by. Nice to get out just the two of us - and we were both making each other laugh so much before the show started.....we are a good pair for each other. And we can both laugh about getting old together. I tried to lean to the right to put my head on his shoulder - and I couldn't bend my neck that low.....in his defense, he didn't know I was going to lean or I'm sure he would have sat up straighter....we're getting old. We were laughing and laughing.....it was a fun night.

We're watching the finale of Survivor: Redemption Island - I'm rooting for Boston Rob!

Another busy week ahead (is there any other kind of week, ever?). I'm out of the office so much this week that I will have to attempt to be in early, early to get my 'work' done before the day officially starts at 8.

Still working on recovering from my ear/sinus thing. Getting there....I hope. This wacky ever-changing weather isn't helping.

Our garden is coming along. We've got spinach growing and the squash plants look like they will have 'fruit' soon. Lettuce is getting there though we've lost some to slugs. Even with the copper tape across the edge of the raised beds, there's still slugs! Flowers are pretty and J. planted all my herbs this weekend. The hail gave them quite a beating but hopefully, they'll make it.

Mother's Day was good - quiet. We ate a dinner out on Saturday - Dave Wong's Chinese. The boys weren't home much of Sunday and J. played music at church that day - so it was quiet.

Pets are good, too. Fofy has been spending time down here with us - J. moves her to her 'little' cage and she spends the day chirping away in the study with us. She seems to like it.....

Back to Survivor....

Final

2011-05-09T18:39:00.000-07:00

I mailed off our final payment for the condo rental in Cancun this morning. So we've paid to get there and paid to have a roof over our heads....all that's left is......

Well, that depends on who you talk to.

My idea of a beach vacation is that: a beach vacation. I'm perfectly, blissfully content to sit idly and watch waves. Get into the pool...or if I feel enough inertia, walk down to the beach (very close). Even go to the beach club and rent a chaise for the day - making them wait on me all day with beverages and food possible - only effort required there is to settle the bill at the end of the day. Read. Sleep. Veg. Watch the ocean. Watch people. Take a nap. Whatever. Nothing, basically. I want to do nothing. And nothing is cheap.

Not so the men in my life. They want to go, go, go...and all the things they want to do cost money. Jet skis. Scuba. Snorkeling off a boat. Visiting ruins. Para sailing. Sure, those things are a blast - and they cost a fortune.

I've paid for a celebratory graduation trip that won't be. For sure for B. as he is not graduating. Long story and I'll spare you the details. He didn't finish classes he needed to graduate. And H. is a 'maybe'. He thinks he is. Thinks he will. But it's up in the air and at this rate, I'm not positive. I won't believe it until he participates in the ceremony on 5/28 and then we go to the table where we have to go to pick up his actual diploma.

We may be spending a small fortune for four air tickets and 7 nights in a beach front condo to celebrate two graduations that aren't happening. You can imagine my enthusiasm about spending all this money on a grand celebration - when there may not be a reason to celebrate.

So - from this point forward, here's what we're celebrating: this is the last vacation I will plan and pay for as a family. From here on out, J. and I will be going to the beach annually - and if others want to join us for some or all of the time, that's fine. If they can get themselves there (their dime), we'll allow them to 'room' with us. We'll even spend the money for a multi-bedroom condo to encourage them to come. But we're not paying for their air fare anymore. They'll have to 'afford' it themselves. And we'll treat for dinners - but all other expenses are on them.

Which at the moment pretty much ensures that me and my sweet hubby will spend 7-10 nights in paradise alone - 'cuz there are 'no visible means of support' happening around here.....

I have an ear infection and sinus infection and feel like I've been hit by a truck. Picked up antibiotics on the way home - (conveniently already had an appointment scheduled to get referrals to specialists for my 'maintenance' things) - so I should feel a lot better by this time tomorrow....hope so, 'cuz it's a board meeting night....

Titles

2011-04-29T05:38:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to the newly married His/Her Royal Highnesses the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge; Earl and Countess of Strathearn and Baron and Baroness Carrickfergus! (Imagine having a grandmother who can bestow not one....not two...but THREE titles upon you on your wedding day). And, he's still a prince to boot!!

Kate and William, you lit up the screen and gave the world a fairytale....and I think this one is built to last. You are both suited to each other and so obviously caring towards each other....what a joy to watch. The wedding was so incredibly beautiful.....the dress was stunningly gorgeous and so elegant. Pure Kate!

I'm celebrating by going back to bed for a few hours....2AMish was very early - but worth it!! Thanks to J. who sort of nudged me to get up....I considered sleeping a bit longer and it's a good thing I didn't 'cuz things were in full swing and moved pretty quickly....I would have hated to miss the 'live' broadcast.

It's a Royal Wedding day -

Royal

2011-04-28T10:24:00.000-07:00

I am so happy that our Spring Break is coinciding with the royal wedding - I will be up and watching the entire event...albeit alone. No one else in the house even remotely interested in watching with me...even with promises of freshly baked scones and good English breakfast tea. Oh well. Their loss. I watched William's mother marry his father oh those many years ago and I will do the same for him. And count my blessings - from a three room flea-bag 'apartment' (my first after moving out of my brother's house) to where I am today is quite a gift, really. I'll greet the sunrise in my lovely home and watch our garden wake up.....can't wait! I am so excited - it's stupid, I know....but I've always loved 'the royals' and this is a big occasion. I'm also confident this marriage will fair better than his parents. I hope....

I've been off a bit this week - wedging in some meetings as needed - but mostly off. Working outside a lot and feeling the satisfaction of the backyard looking a little bit more 'well-tended'. Now on to the front. Have promised myself I will be out their daily from now on - sometimes for an hour at a time. Or just minutes. But little by little is a good way to proceed in most things and it's true for gardening.

I have some posts in draft stage - and lost one of them entirely through an odd 'touch' of my laptop palm pad.....and sadly, the minute I hit that button, Blogger did an 'auto-save' - so I totally lost it....it was a hard post to write and now it's even harder to recreate it....so that will take some time....

Baby shower this weekend for Bug....have enjoyed shopping for her little blessing....

J. is also off a few days this week and we are heading out to buy a new office chair for me. The one I'm using is making me very sore and uncomfortable and while I don't want to spend the money for a new one, we must.

Boys are sleeping. It's only 10:30 and that's still 'early' for them -

Praying for those in the south - tornadoes must be terrifying.....I can only imagine.

H. and A.

2011-04-17T13:58:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of the prom couple - J. laughed because the 'City Hall' is labeled behind them and you might think 'just married'. Thankfully, no...he's got a long time before he adds a 'wife' to his list of challenges. He's a handsome, sweet, kind-hearted young man and we love him to bits. And that's always true - even when he's making is Mom a wee bit nuts - Congratulations, H. - your Senior year is almost over and now, the real challenges begin....it's called life. And it's going to be better than you ever imagined -

Uncle Sam

2011-04-16T22:03:00.000-07:00

Busy, productive day here.....including a nap! That's productive, right?

J. and I drove to Walnut Creek this morning to return the non-working food processor to Crate and Barrel. They were very nice about the return - no hassle. We went to The Container Store also and got a couple things - I'm reorganizing under all the bathroom sinks so storage bins, etc. are helping with that project. Also got a small box for H. to put all of his ear gauges in - they are currently stored in a long row on the bathroom sink. He's not wearing them anymore - letting the holes heal up. I just don't want the gauges sitting out forever. We had a nice lunch at Fresh Choice and then drove home. I napped a couple hours. It was a nice nap - and I haven't had one in a long time so I was due. I actually fell asleep while I was watching TV for a bit - just like I did last night....tired.

It's prom night for H. tonight so he got all dressed up in his black tux with a red vest and red tie. Red Converse sneakers (brand new) completed the outfit. He looked great! J. went and took a bunch of pictures at the City Hall fountains where all the kids gathered.

It sounds like they're having fun though their bus' sound system isn't working - so instead of driving down to Capitola for a night at the beach, they are at Pier 39 in San Francisco. They are waiting for a new bus but it sounds like Capitola is out of the picture....San Fran is a lot of fun and I'm sure they're having a blast. He's going to keep in touch throughout the night via texts - the after party and then spending the night at a friends house. He'll sleep all day tomorrow, most likely.

I've spent the afternoon (post-nap) and evening finalizing our taxes. Just finished submitting the e-file of ours - will e-file B.'s tomorrow. Now just have to get the money into the checking account to cover the payments which will be charged to our account on Monday. It was a very bad year tax wise - but I keep reminding myself we're so blessed to have the money to make the gigantically huge amount (three times what we paid last year). Next year will be better....

We also wedged in a little work outside - planted some spinach seeds and a bunch of flower seeds in the flower beds - just to see what will happen. J. did a lot of weeding - still much to do but things are shaping up out there. The pots are full of really pretty flowers - J. planted my Alden Lane Nursery purchases last week while I was in Anaheim. It's looking bright and cheery out there!

J. is playing music at church tomorrow. I'm planning to hang around at home waiting for H. to call to be picked up. I'll wedge in a little work stuff to be more prepared for the week ahead. It was a really hard week this week and I am hoping if I take a couple of hours to re-group tomorrow, it will help improve next week to a level that won't result either tyranny or mutiny - by me. I can always hope....