Tomorrow is Monday AGAIN - geez. Can't hardly believe it - big report is finally finished - well, all except the explaining it and then using it as a start to sketching out negotiation scenarios which I technically really should have done today but I just needed a day off. Yesterday was a pretty quick work day - and I should have made it a much longer day but I am tired. February has been a very long month - though time has flown. It's March already!
In a very rare interaction, J. made me so flaming mad yesterday, I could barely see straight. Something he said he posted on a blog somewhere and I just had a moment of complete and utter appallment. Is that a word? I was appalled at what he wrote - and he kept trying to say 'it's a joke'. It wasn't a joke and it wasn't funny. He's becoming one of those political commentators who says outrageous things for effect...and it really bothers me. I felt (yesterday) as if I don't know him - and even harder to handle: do I want to know him? This person who spends all day immersed in politics; commenting and conversing with total strangers that he feels connected to. While we sit disconnected to each other. I've felt that a lot lately - and I know it's as much me as it is him. I trudge to work and resent working. He stays home and likely resents being at home. An impasses that will take at least 7 years to resolve and possibly longer, given I'm now leaning towards working forever. (Damn stock market. Damn China. Too much volatility and I feel that resigning myself to working forever just makes it all easier to deal with. J. is meeting with our finance guy in San Fran this week - I can't get away to take a day off for making a trek into the city. Praying for some wisdom and answers to our most basic of questions - how much can we safely withdraw annually and not be broke if we live to 90)...
Anyway...so there I was, spitting angry, so disgruntled and pissed off and fed up and not really liking him at ALL leading me to question the very core of our relationship - like why are we together, anyway?
It passed as these things do. Today, we trekked to Jackson together and bless his heart, he didn't gamble a bit - we went and ate and he stayed at the table, reading his Kindle while I fairly quickly lost what I had to lose. The drive was nice - the countryside so green from all the rain. Little lambs and baby goats and baby cows. Not too many wildflowers that weren't yellow but the yellows were really pretty.
Arrived home and helped B. get ready to head across the bay for a day of golf with his friend. He's picking up his brand new golf clubs, too - home again tomorrow and then he's not sure what his plans are. He asked (somewhat nervously) if his friend from his base [who has the same leave period as B. does and is traveling around all over the place] could stay here for a few days to 'visit California'. I said 'of course!' and then promptly worried about where he would sleep. We have fairly decent camping air mattresses - and he's in the Army so even our floor is more comfortable than a fox hole or sleeping in a Humvee all night.
Making spaghetti for dinner and then decided to tackle the cupboard above the microwave - it's where we keep our larger spices (from Costco or Smart & Final) and it was also full of cookbooks. HUGE box ready for the library - and I realized that I don't need/use cookbooks these days 'cuz anything I want to cook, I just look up. I kept my collection of Two Fat Ladies cookbooks but let my Nigella Lawson's go. Also took a walk down memory lane when I finally decided to recycle my Betty Crocker Recipe Club collection - from 1971. It's moved with me a lot - but it's time to let it go. I rarely refer to it - and the one recipe I really remember loving (Hamburger Stroganoff) is now online so yeah!
Also found some recipes in my mom and grandmother's handwriting which felt really special.
And I will close with a Chloe story. After J. got home from picking up B. from Oakland yesterday, he had to trek back over the Altamont to Pleasanton to assist H. in getting to the Apple store for a phone repair. No, not repair. Replacement. His phone has been completely, unequivocally unusable for a week or two - and never more grateful for the Apple Care program. It's not inexpensive at the start but in the end, he got a brand new iPhone 6 for $7 out the door - so it was well worth it.
So...I thought they were going to grab some dinner so I headed out to get some chicken strips from a favorite place in town...only to realize upon arrival that the place closed it's doors. Dang it! So I ended up getting McDonald's. When I got home, I noticed plastic pieces all over the floor in the study - and then I saw an empty Ziploc bag with the bottom chewed up - and it hit me! Chloe got into my lunch bag (which I had left sitting on the floor when I came in from work) - she ate two leftover pieces of pizza, a bunch of nuts and dried fruit and was starting to nosh on the bag of celery hearts and carrots. This morning, I found my small container of hummus all the way over by her kennel in the family room - so I'm not sure what that was about. It wasn't opened (thank goodness) and we don't see any teeth marks on it - but she tried to get it open, I think.
She seems totally fine other than pooping way more than usual today.
Another busy week ahead...with evenings full of boys. More and more boys. Young men - coming, going, visiting, staying, leaving, hanging out. It's always great having B. here and he and H. are (so far, anyway) getting along well. Fingers crossed that continues.
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Monday, February 22, 2016
Pooh Gets It
Given the seriousness of the situation, I enjoyed a heated chocolate croissant for lunch instead of the roasted veggies J. lovingly packed for me this morning.
Meetings...so many meetings. Tomorrow is another 'all day meeting day' but I'm skipping an afternoon meeting and closing myself in my office to plow through more of my 'big report'.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Here's to Weekends
Having taken off last Sunday as the only day off for three weeks, weekends are losing their luster for me. I am up by 7 (which is sleeping in a couple of hours and is awesome!) and heading to work soon...giving myself a little more time to linger at home. Watching Justice Scalia's funeral mass. I admire his son (a priest) being able to preside over the services for his father - that seems incredibly hard to do but he's doing it.
Thursday was my only meeting free day in the last two and one upcoming week so I was anxious to spend the day digging in to my huge report. Things went well until 11:30AM when the light in my office started flickering. I figured 'bad florescent bulb' and carried on. It flickered a lot and then BOOM - lights out. Power was out for close to two hours. We do what we always do with no power - start tidying desks, filing, etc.. Doing what we can do in the dark of our office with only the light from windows and the doors we open.
Power came back on and we all breathed a sigh of relief and prepared to get back into work - only to discover that while the power was back on, our Internet connection was definitely not. Our provider had lost connection and it took a full 12 hours (overnight) for them to restore our service. It's a big deal because we work on a finance system through a connection to our County Office - so no connection meant no access. Nothing. For hours. I was starting to feel panicked 'cuz my big report has a firm deadline and I was already so far behind....unbelievable 'behind' in comparison with past report time lines. My days are filled with keeping two new people busy and assisting with what I can - and time to take them around to sites and meet people. It's been a really challenging couple of weeks with so many deadlines looming - so the report has taken a back seat.
Luckily, everything was restored yesterday and I was able to opt out of a morning meeting (that would have been 4 hours had I attended) and I did get much done. Hoping that with some additional time this weekend, I will start this upcoming week in better shape. Next week, there are absolutely no meeting free days of any kind....so. Nose to the grindstone.
B. has confirmed he has pending orders to report to Ft. Campbell in Kentucky sometime this Spring/early summer. He's beyond excited! I think he just needs something 'new' now and then to keep him engaged. He's also going to arrive home on 2/27 and be home until 3/13! Ticket already purchased and he's excited to have a couple weeks here. He's purchased a new set of Calloway clubs and will definitely be spending time across the bay with his friend C. - and he keeps reminding me that he's going to branch out a bit this trip - do some things on his own and not be here every night. A vacation within a vacation - and I am excited that he's reached the age where you want to spend time away from your parents. It's the natural order of things. Fond memories of my first solo vacation to Reno on my mind. He's growing up -
Weather is cloudy today - sort of disappointing 'cuz I thought it was supposed to be sunny. Though it does make it much easier to head to work - not a pretty day so might as well just head to work.
Thursday was my only meeting free day in the last two and one upcoming week so I was anxious to spend the day digging in to my huge report. Things went well until 11:30AM when the light in my office started flickering. I figured 'bad florescent bulb' and carried on. It flickered a lot and then BOOM - lights out. Power was out for close to two hours. We do what we always do with no power - start tidying desks, filing, etc.. Doing what we can do in the dark of our office with only the light from windows and the doors we open.
Power came back on and we all breathed a sigh of relief and prepared to get back into work - only to discover that while the power was back on, our Internet connection was definitely not. Our provider had lost connection and it took a full 12 hours (overnight) for them to restore our service. It's a big deal because we work on a finance system through a connection to our County Office - so no connection meant no access. Nothing. For hours. I was starting to feel panicked 'cuz my big report has a firm deadline and I was already so far behind....unbelievable 'behind' in comparison with past report time lines. My days are filled with keeping two new people busy and assisting with what I can - and time to take them around to sites and meet people. It's been a really challenging couple of weeks with so many deadlines looming - so the report has taken a back seat.
Luckily, everything was restored yesterday and I was able to opt out of a morning meeting (that would have been 4 hours had I attended) and I did get much done. Hoping that with some additional time this weekend, I will start this upcoming week in better shape. Next week, there are absolutely no meeting free days of any kind....so. Nose to the grindstone.
B. has confirmed he has pending orders to report to Ft. Campbell in Kentucky sometime this Spring/early summer. He's beyond excited! I think he just needs something 'new' now and then to keep him engaged. He's also going to arrive home on 2/27 and be home until 3/13! Ticket already purchased and he's excited to have a couple weeks here. He's purchased a new set of Calloway clubs and will definitely be spending time across the bay with his friend C. - and he keeps reminding me that he's going to branch out a bit this trip - do some things on his own and not be here every night. A vacation within a vacation - and I am excited that he's reached the age where you want to spend time away from your parents. It's the natural order of things. Fond memories of my first solo vacation to Reno on my mind. He's growing up -
Weather is cloudy today - sort of disappointing 'cuz I thought it was supposed to be sunny. Though it does make it much easier to head to work - not a pretty day so might as well just head to work.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Sunday, February 14, 2016
V-Day
J. and I ventured to Thunder Valley together. We rarely go together...and today pretty much confirms why.
I am best as a solo gambler. He plays tables and doesn't enjoy slots. The smoke bothers him. (I hardly notice and commented that the filtration system at this casino is far superior to Jackson).
It was crowded so we had to get a reservation for the cafe - and of course, I was on a machine that I felt was going to hit - but I cashed out and dutiful met J. at the cafe at the appointed time. Nice lunch. But was so, so bummed to discover that in the 25 minutes we ate, the machine hit and someone else walked away with the $925 major jackpot. I almost texted him to say 'please come pick up the reservation tag and you go eat 'cuz I'm not leaving this machine'. But he might not have heard the beep.
He said next time I 'have a feeling', just text him and tell him to go ahead and eat solo. I just didn't feel right about doing that on Valentine's Day.
You never know. I've played many other machines that close to hitting (typically hits by $1,000) and it can take a really long time.
But wow....does it really bum me out to feel so close and yet missed it.
I'm bummed. And I lost most of my fun $ so I have no recourse but to live a 'regular', mundane life of working for a living - day after mind numbing day - for 7 or so additional years.
I feel depressed. And I have to work tomorrow, too - 'cuz there's so much to do, I just have to bite the bullet and spend the holiday working.
Though having company on the drive to/from made the time go much faster so that was nice. And the meal we shared (that was comped but actually cost $925) was good.
B. will be home in a couple weeks and he ordered his new golf clubs from his golf-pro friend so he's looking forward to playing lots of golf when he's home. We are strategizing on how to deal with having one car for most of two weeks - he offered to rent a car but that just seems like a waste of money. We've sketched out the calendar and I can use J.'s car when I have to be somewhere. He'd rather not have B. driving that car in San Francisco anyway - so I'll get to drive it. (Makes me nervous just thinking about it. Sweaty palms).
Great TV on tonight and at least I can sleep in a smidge tomorrow -
Life is good. I am so, so blessed. I hope the person who won needed the money way more than we do...and I'm sure it made their day. It would have made mine, too, but we still had a fun day and I did hit some jackpots towards the end that helped. Though I put the money back with sort of a 'whatever' approach. It's those 'whatever' days that are the hardest.
I am best as a solo gambler. He plays tables and doesn't enjoy slots. The smoke bothers him. (I hardly notice and commented that the filtration system at this casino is far superior to Jackson).
It was crowded so we had to get a reservation for the cafe - and of course, I was on a machine that I felt was going to hit - but I cashed out and dutiful met J. at the cafe at the appointed time. Nice lunch. But was so, so bummed to discover that in the 25 minutes we ate, the machine hit and someone else walked away with the $925 major jackpot. I almost texted him to say 'please come pick up the reservation tag and you go eat 'cuz I'm not leaving this machine'. But he might not have heard the beep.
He said next time I 'have a feeling', just text him and tell him to go ahead and eat solo. I just didn't feel right about doing that on Valentine's Day.
You never know. I've played many other machines that close to hitting (typically hits by $1,000) and it can take a really long time.
But wow....does it really bum me out to feel so close and yet missed it.
I'm bummed. And I lost most of my fun $ so I have no recourse but to live a 'regular', mundane life of working for a living - day after mind numbing day - for 7 or so additional years.
I feel depressed. And I have to work tomorrow, too - 'cuz there's so much to do, I just have to bite the bullet and spend the holiday working.
Though having company on the drive to/from made the time go much faster so that was nice. And the meal we shared (that was comped but actually cost $925) was good.
B. will be home in a couple weeks and he ordered his new golf clubs from his golf-pro friend so he's looking forward to playing lots of golf when he's home. We are strategizing on how to deal with having one car for most of two weeks - he offered to rent a car but that just seems like a waste of money. We've sketched out the calendar and I can use J.'s car when I have to be somewhere. He'd rather not have B. driving that car in San Francisco anyway - so I'll get to drive it. (Makes me nervous just thinking about it. Sweaty palms).
Great TV on tonight and at least I can sleep in a smidge tomorrow -
Life is good. I am so, so blessed. I hope the person who won needed the money way more than we do...and I'm sure it made their day. It would have made mine, too, but we still had a fun day and I did hit some jackpots towards the end that helped. Though I put the money back with sort of a 'whatever' approach. It's those 'whatever' days that are the hardest.
Tuesday, February 02, 2016
You Be the Judge
A friend pronounces on Facebook 'after much sole searching, I've decided to go back to substitute teaching'.
Before you do that, you might want to learn the spelling difference between the core of the human experience rather than a type of fish or the bottom of your foot.
Seriously.
Do better, people. And if you can't do better, quit embarrassing yourself on Facebook 'cuz I guarantee you 80% of the people who read that post thought the same thing.
Or maybe not. And that might be the scariest point of all.
Before you do that, you might want to learn the spelling difference between the core of the human experience rather than a type of fish or the bottom of your foot.
Seriously.
Do better, people. And if you can't do better, quit embarrassing yourself on Facebook 'cuz I guarantee you 80% of the people who read that post thought the same thing.
Or maybe not. And that might be the scariest point of all.
Monday, February 01, 2016
Embrace the Suck
The maneuvers B. has been in for a month are a really big deal. There have been some articles in El Paso newspapers sharing what was done and the complexity and planning that went into this event is really amazing. For the last part of the training, B. has been cell phone silent so it's felt a little bit like the days he was in Basic Training and we spent our days trolling Facebook and the base website looking for any sign of him. No pics of him popped up this time - though there was a pic of a guy who looked EXACTLY like him - but B. confirmed it wasn't him. He was still pretty limited on what activities he could do 'cuz he hasn't been fully released from restrictions related to his knee tendon surgery.
One of the articles shared that the soldiers are told to "Embrace the Suck"....'cuz much of what they were doing and the conditions they were doing it in totally suck - and there's no getting around it.
I'm feeling like "Embrace the Suck" might be my mode for the next few months, too. The days are so jammed with 'stuff'....and I'm so buried with everything coming at me. My email in box had 50+ emails before noon today - and the post-noon round wasn't much lighter. Hopefully, today was an anomaly - a couple of the voluminous email subjects should resolve soon.
For now, I just try to get 8 hours sleep a night; drink plenty of water and iced tea during the day; encourage myself to do a better job every day than I did the day before; try my best always; and remind myself often that this hectic time will pass....eventually.
Monday evening and I'm watching Downton Abby - totally forgot last week so watched last Sunday's episode over the weekend. Time for the re-watch. I always watch them twice right in a row.
One of the articles shared that the soldiers are told to "Embrace the Suck"....'cuz much of what they were doing and the conditions they were doing it in totally suck - and there's no getting around it.
I'm feeling like "Embrace the Suck" might be my mode for the next few months, too. The days are so jammed with 'stuff'....and I'm so buried with everything coming at me. My email in box had 50+ emails before noon today - and the post-noon round wasn't much lighter. Hopefully, today was an anomaly - a couple of the voluminous email subjects should resolve soon.
For now, I just try to get 8 hours sleep a night; drink plenty of water and iced tea during the day; encourage myself to do a better job every day than I did the day before; try my best always; and remind myself often that this hectic time will pass....eventually.
Monday evening and I'm watching Downton Abby - totally forgot last week so watched last Sunday's episode over the weekend. Time for the re-watch. I always watch them twice right in a row.
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