Foretelling

J. has been working hard on scanning photos onto his computer - often with captions.  His project not only keeps him very busy - and nostalgic - it's also cleaning out boxes from the garage!  Win-win!

Here are a couple of son #1 that seem very apropos given his career aspirations:

And here's one that should have better prepared me for his teen years:

We are at this very moment attempting to get him out of bed - his planned departure for the airport is in 15 minutes and he is not even remotely close to vertical.

Like yesterday, the more things change, the more they stay the same.  Missing him already - and also a teeny bit OK with him heading out.  It's hard having adult children at home.

Though I will undoubtedly cry a bit after they pull out of the driveway.

Some Things Never Change

A lovely weekend with son #1 home.  I managed to be mostly off on Friday and off all day today - made great, awesome progress on budget stuff yesterday so felt like I could 'splurge' and be off today, too.  Especially knowing that J. and B. will be up early tomorrow to get to the airport so I will get up early too and spend another productive day in my office.

We enjoyed a dinner out last night for H.'s birthday - and attempted to get to brunch today.  The little local restaurant we planned to go have breakfast at (the only place within a few miles of our house) was closed for the weekend.  Bummer!  So we headed across town to Black Bear Diner only to find the wait 30 minutes.  Headed to Hometown Buffet and had 'dinner' 'cuz they start serving Sunday dinner at 11AM.  So no breakfast foods but we ate their anyway.  It was good.

At both meals out, we enjoyed a military discount courtesy of B.!  At IHOP (where H. chose to go for his birthday dinner), they said if he'd been in uniform, we would have all received 50% off!  We were extremely excited to receive 15% off our entire check - and we wouldn't have known except our waiter was a guy B. had classes with at Las Positas so as they were chatting, B. mentioned that he'd joined the Army and was just here for the weekend.  Score!  Military discount!  Now we know to ask and also enjoyed a military discount at Hometown.

B. has been home - but when he's home, he's hanging out in his bedroom enjoying ready access to a laptop for the first time in five months.  Understand the novelty....and his room is an absolute mess, thus proving that the more things change, the more they stay the same.  He may be living on his own and in the Army but he still is a wreck of a housekeeper when he's not in Basic training.

His new 'home' is basically an apartment - private bedroom with a shared living room and kitchen - and by shared, it's just one more guy.  B. is sort of lucky because his roommate is shipping out in a few weeks so B. will have the place to himself.  He is enjoying having a kitchen and space.  He's thinking of taking his laptop back with him and he'll have to figure out how to get Internet access.

It's been fun having him home and he's looking forward to being here a few weeks in July.  He's planning to arrive when we are in Cancun and then he'll be here a week or so after we're home, too.  His friend is leaving for Europe on the 11th (the day we come home) and B. wants to be able to spend time with him before he leaves.

B. has been hugging me frequently which is wonderful....and it's been great having him home.

H. is officially two decades old.  He is hoping he will be assigned somewhere to actually work this week - it's been weird that the temp agency hired him (paperwork done; drug testing done; job placement testing done) but no assignment yet.  He's going a little stir crazy and he needs the money.  There are only so many jobs and only so much money we can keep having him earn here.

This afternoon, I finally located the banner on a light pole downtown that has B.'s name on it.  All service men and women from Tracy have their names on banners on the flagpoles and we'd been notified that B.'s was going up - finally found it!  Near the fire administration and Red Cross building.  Honored to see it - and it was cool to find it approaching Memorial Day.

I am glad J. is driving him to the airport tomorrow - I don't think my heart can take it.  Goodbyes are always the hardest part.

In the word's of Shel Silverstein:

“There are no happy endings.
Endings are the saddest part, 
So just give me a happy middle
And a very happy start.” 

Bestest Ever

The hug from our oldest son this morning was quiet possibly the best ever!  What struck me about it was how hard he was hugging back....as a young adult who's been away from home for five months, clearly he misses us as much as we miss him.

He spent part of the night on the couch snuggling with 'his' dog - after visiting with friends who were waiting for him when he arrived home.  A trip to In & Out for food and visiting in the wee hours of morning.  He's glad to be home.  I made him a great latte this morning - the other thing on his wish list.  We didn't do brunch but did grab breakfast and brought it home - brunch tomorrow, hopefully.

He is buying a used truck from a friend so he's working through the process and his budget with our assistance.  I think it's stupid - but oh well.  I'm his mom.  He has his reasons for wanting his own transportation and it is his money.

I am off today - went in briefly for a quick meeting - but other than that, am hanging out around the homestead.

The incredibly heavy sleeper sofa has been offered on Freecycle and already have someone who wants it...so hopefully, it's just coordinating pickup and that albatross will be off the list of things we need to move back here from H.'s apartment.  We hope to get a little help from B. while he's here.

A weekend of budget work and cramming in as much time as I can with B. is in order.  So glad he's home.  OH and H. turns 20 tomorrow and we will definitely be celebrating that event!!

Homecoming

The week has been reasonably uneventful - just work, work and more work for me and work, work and more (home) work for J..  H. is continuing to earn money via a system of promising to do stuff; mostly doing stuff and then getting an advance for the next time he promises to do stuff.  It's working. 

The appraiser was here on Wednesday - arriving shortly after we returned from finalizing our estate planning documents with our lawyer.  I would have loved to make a day of it and been off but that wasn't possible.  I resisted the urge to be here with the appraiser - and unlike the refi in the early 2000 where the guy drove by the house and came up with a number, this appraiser measured every single wall and was here for close to an hour.  There have been some great sales in the neighborhood recently - many going for more than the asking price - so we are somewhat hopeful.  We should know something more 'firm' this week.

The big news is:  B. is coming home for Memorial Day weekend!  He mentioned last week that he had a long weekend coming up and was hoping to be home.  Only he'd also looked at airfares and realized that short notice trips are even more expensive.  He asked us if we would pitch in - and we said a pleasantly toned 'um, no'.  He has a good job now and he can afford to do what he wants - so he debated a day or so and then decided to go ahead and get here regardless of cost.  He arrives late Thursday (almost Friday morning) and leaves mid-day Monday.  I'm hoping to be off on Friday - working at home but here - and then he will have the weekend to spend time with friends.  He'll have use of one of our cars - saving him renting one. 

H.'s 20th birthday is also next Saturday and he wants something 'low-key'.  Probably family dinner and then for dessert - brownies!  His gift will be pitching in for a ticket to Houston to visit his friend - and that was another load of drama.  H. has a job!!  He starts tomorrow morning - but he thought since he wasn't working last week, we could just send him to Houston right now!  Uh - no.  The tickets were close to $1K for a few day trip - and that's not in our birthday present budget.  So we said no.  He was disappointed.  So was I - I know he wants to go visit - and I know it's his birthday.  But I can't justify spending that kind of money - so we said no.  When he's been in the job a few months, he can hopefully ask for a long weekend off - planned in advance - and then we will buy him a ticket to Houston.

He will be moving home next weekend also - so it may come in really handy to have B. at home to help schlep stuff.  H. is currently working on repainting his bedroom.  The ocean blue walls of his youth are being returned to a more 'typical' beige-yellow which matches the rest of the house. 

My lazy Sunday is officially ending after I publish this post - heading in for a long day of budget stuff.  It's going better - I think I've figured out a 'method' that appears to be working and I have things lined up for my team to work on tomorrow while I'm in Sacramento attending a budget workshop.  The last time my current boss and I will make that trek - and we will enjoy a final lunch at Dave Wong's which is our 'tradition'.  I'm already missing him - but the search is progressing and I feel quasi-hopeful. 

What will be will be and no amount of fretting is going to change that - so I'm trying to 'trust the process' and just keep moving through all I need to do.

Some days I'm better at that than others.  

J. and I have had TWO nights out this weekend.  On Friday, we saw Jeanne Robertson at the Gallo Center in Modesto - so, so funny!  Last night, it was dinner and some vacation attire shopping for J. in Manteca.  I have to force the guy to buy clothes!  He did it!  And JC Penney is back to great prices.  We left with a lot of stuff for a reasonable amount of money - J. will be newly decked out for our beach trip in July.

Can't wait to see our oldest son - his list of must-do's include lattes in the morning (made by his Mama); lying on the couch with his dog; chillaxing with his brother; etc. .  He was going camping with friends but there are no campsites available (you think?) so we'll see where they hang out.  They're welcome to chill here if they'd like - we may even heat up the pool for them!

That's the haps for now....low-key and normal.  Here's hoping this week finalizes the refinance (which would be the biggest, most amazing thing that could possibly happen and will allow us to stay comfortably in this home for the foreseeable future - and I don't want to move 'cuz I love this place and we've worked so hard on it and I don't want to have to do it all over again!) and progress on the budget so I can sleep better. 

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all....

My sister posted this pic on Facebook this morning - one of the rare photos of our Mom with all her children.  Based on the attire and hair styles, we think it's early 80's.  Also based on consensus, our brother had whispered something hysterically funny right before the photographer snapped the photo.  This is a keeper for sure and I'm so glad my sister posted it.  Yes, that's me on the right.  My hair is curly from being permed.  That's one of the things that helped us narrow the timing of the photo.

I've had a call from both sons - one is due here any minute (though his 'time frame'  is often subject to last minute revisions).  I've enjoyed a leisurely, somewhat lazy morning of good coffee, watching The Good Wife on Amazon Prime (FREE!) and tidying up my desk.

My sweet husband made me breakfast and just got home from church and Costco shopping and is making me lunch.

Son #1 asked what I was doing today and I replied 'probably working a bit later'.....he said 'Mom, take a day off!'.  I know....and I am sort of.  The system is probably still down at work so I sort of have to....glad they took it down for their monthly maintenance one week later than originally planned 'cuz it gives all of us mom's a reason to not work today!

Happy Mom's day to all - and especially to my Mom in heaven.  Miss you, Mom!

Officially Official

Press releases and everything - so my boss won't be my boss in another seven weeks or so.  Darn it!  I am very happy for him 'cuz this move is a great one for him - and he will likely be leading that district for decades and that's a wonderful thing for a school district.  Great leadership that lasts is the best thing to hope for.

So now we hope.

It was a fast but incredibly productive four years and the things that he has set in motion are things I know we will keep going with the new Sup....so there's that.

It's budget time and I'm in my panic mode.  Am getting up earlier and heading out the door as early as I can...but I am trying to get home by 5 or so - usually 'cuz if you are getting up at 4ish or so, you typically hit a wall of fatigue at some point - and 5ish is that time for me.

B. is officially in El Paso and it's the one teeny part of Texas that is only one hour ahead of us instead of two.  It's been an adjustment to always be thinking of 'Georgia time'....now it's just a quick hour difference instead of several.  He called yesterday to ask about what I'd like for Mother's Day - I want a call from him.  That's it.  He hinted he's sending something else that 'you're really going to love'....which is sweet of him.  Heck, I'm just happy he remembered.  He shipped $60 worth of boots and dress uniforms home so he didn't have to schlep them with him to Texas.

The arrived at the Atlanta airport so early (for their flight) they couldn't check in luggage yet!  So they all (three guys) took a cab to a bowling alley and bowled for awhile!  Any chance at recreation, they take!

Last night, J. asked 'do you want to go out to brunch for Mother's Day?'.  The thought is lovely - but it's so, so crowded on that particular day.  I said 'you can make me breakfast!  German pancakes and crispy bacon!'.  He said 'OK - but it will be late 'cuz....'   and then it hit me!  He went to music rehearsal on Tuesday night - so HE'S PLAYING MUSIC AT CHURCH ON SUNDAY MORNING.  ALL MORNING.  Oh my stinking heck!

The music director did an ingenious thing - he assigned musicians and singers to 'groups' so their schedule is pretty much set for the year.  It happens that Group C (J.'s group) plays this weekend....

I guess that rotation eliminates the scramble to find people that will be available to play on special days. Right?

We'll see about Father's Day.  I might have to arrange to not be home.  :-)

H. has a job!  It's a temp agency...but it looks like he will be assigned to a warehouse in Lathrop (about 10 minutes from Tracy).  He volunteered to work swing shift 'cuz it fits his biological clock well and it pays 50 cents more an hour.  We'll see.  Anything is better than nothing....

He will move home in three weeks...which will be a big adjustment.

Time to get going and get to the office.  Board prep looms today - which is actually a nice break from budget!

Nothing About Nothing

Nothing clever or witty or likely even remotely entertaining....such is the state of things....

The weekend was good.  J. and I spent Saturday shopping for luggage!  My suitcase totally fell apart (broken up fiber board mixed in and among my clothes was the first clue something was wrong) on the Georgia trip and J.'s lost the plastic 'legs' that help keep it upright.  Two new beautiful suitcases will accompany us to Cancun in just seven short weeks....

We are mailing the final payment today.  This year, more than any other time we've made the trip, is quite possibly the worst possible time to be away - but the condo is paid for; airfare is secured and darn it all - we are going.

I will have a new boss come July 1st.  I won't be there on July 1st 'cuz I will be at the beach - so the first impression my new boss will have is 'she's spending 11 days at the beach during my first couple weeks as the new Superintendent'.  Can't be helped...and I'm sure I'll meet whomever is in the job before I leave.

Yep...it's true.  My boss is moving to his home district - a great and wonderful move for him.  Eliminates a 40 minute commute (each way) and gives him more time to help his wife (who is a teacher) get their two young children to and from their various activities.

It's been a couple months that it's been a possibility and as the reality has slowly crept in, I'm working hard on accepting.  Spent weeks listening to what can only be categorized as 'break up' songs - mourning his departure and our loss.  He'd laugh and say 'what songs'?  I'd say 'I'm not telling you 'cuz 99% of the song doesn't have anything to do with you - but there's usually a line or two that resonates and so I keep it on repeat and let it all sink in'.

To say he is a great Superintendent is an understatement.  He is - truly one of the greatest - but it's also that he is truly a wonderful person.  His 'core' is centered and ego-less and he's so much darn fun to work with that you forget (most of the time) that he's torturing you by pushing you to do things you'd (often) rather not be doing.  But you do them...'cuz it's the direction he's leading.

We all follow.....

Now we will follow someone else.

I am heading in very early today - getting back into the groove of going in early and staying until the gates are about to be locked as I work on the new budget.  New finance system is making this an entirely new adventure and it's a bit overwhelming and scary at the moment.  I block full days on my calendar which usually leads to my boss coming in and saying 'hey, can you wedge in such and such 'cuz I looked at your calendar and you're booked solid'.  For him, I say 'sure'.  To everyone else, I say 'no, not [insert time increment here].  It's the only hope I have of not living in my office.  I think my record one budget year was 45 straight days - and I'm desperately trying to have at least one weekend day off each week.  Trying...but as the deadline approaches, I realize it's inevitable.  Budget is the hardest time of year every single year and this year will be 10 times that given it's a process and a system that I'm totally new at....just like I was six years ago....

B. had a weekend pass and spent time in Columbus with friends - movies, Massage Envy, good food, smoking cigars and generally being young men on a mission to have some fun.  He leaves for Ft. Bliss day after tomorrow and I hope to have a real physical address for him when he gets there.  I miss writing him.  Hopefully he will write back.  We miss seeing pics of him and feeling at least a little connected to him.  Now, it's like he has a 'job' - and he's not in touch much....which is hard on me (in particular).

H. got a call about a job that we hope will lead to something....anything.  Not because the $ situation is that dire - they gave notice on the apartment; H.'s best friend of all time moved to Houston; H. has unemployment so he's not totally insolvent....but because I don't think H. does well with nothing to do. He needs to keep busy and stay motivated - or he gets sort of 'lost'.  Hoping the phone call leads to an interview and a job that will keep him busy and have him making new friends.

He may move to Houston - his friend is scoping out the job market.  So we'll see.....

Second cup of coffee on the horizon.....

OH - I hesitate to mention this lest I jinx it - but we may be able to refinance our mortgage!  The loan is approved - just pending the appraisal - isn't that always the deciding factor?  We are pretty confident we will be able to refinance - it will just be a matter of deciding we would be OK to pay PMI if we aren't at 80% LTV.  We may be - but not positive....the appraisal should happen this week and we should know in a couple weeks what the official 'offer' is.  Here's hoping....

El Paso!

B. got orders to report to Ft. Bliss in El Paso, Texas one week from today.  He is very excited - mainly to 'know' what is next and to get going!  It's been hard(est) on him to just be in 'pend' mode - doing work that he doesn't enjoy as 'busy work' while the wheels of assignment trudge along.  Knowing where and when is a good forward step for him and he's ready.

The only disappointment is it doesn't look like he will get any leave in between, which is a bummer....but we're hoping we can arrange a long weekend trip to El Paso in the not-too distant future for a visit.

Ft. Bliss is an armored division - so I'm surprised they are sending an infantry soldier there - but guess they have guys on foot accompany the tanks.

I don't see how any parent alive can read that last sentence and not get a bit of a gut clenching feeling....

Accompanying a tank.  On foot.  So the foot guys scope things out for the guys in the huge, armored vehicle as it lumbers along.

Yee gads.....

The anxiousness I was feeling about what would be next for him has given way to just a general anxiousness....though he is safe at Ft. Bliss, they are making deployments to Jordan.  'That's good!' people say 'cuz Jordan are allies of the US.  Translation:  Jordan doesn't despise us and won't try to kill Americans....but every country bordering theirs would...so somehow, that's not comforting.

A friend at work said 'I don't know how you are doing this - you are so brave.  If my son wants to join, I've told him I will break his legs so he can't.'.  (She doesn't mean it....not really).  I reply (as the parent of a young adult to the parent of a minor child still largely under parental control) 'if that's what he wants, you will support him.  You don't think you will, but you will - because that's our job as parents. What they want, we want for them.  And I'm not brave.  My son is.  I'm not.  I just try to cope and get through the day(s) as best I can.'

There is much change afoot in my life and I'm struggling under the weight of ten thousand boulders....I will write about some of it soon.  Today was a very hard day as the reality of what is happening sets in.

I know it will be OK.  I am positive it will...but change is just so damn hard and we've endured such a huge amount of change in the last few years....just when it was getting easier, it will be back to incredibly hard....

More soon.  If you're still out there reading, thanks.