I attended a(nother) workshop - this one in Sacramento. I almost didn't go - my desk is piled high, I have a budget to present to the board in 4 weeks and the 'issues' surrounding preparing this giant 'to do' are too numerous to go into here. Suffice it to say that the last place I needed to be today was sitting in a hotel conference room. But I'm so glad I went because I did get a lot out of it - the subject was year-end closing so feasibly, it really is just another long list of things to be scared out of my mind about - but oh well. At least I now KNOW what looms ahead in the upcoming few months. It's a crazy busy time of year for a CBO and this year will certainly test me in many, many ways. But I went and got some reassurances from various folks in attendance that it does get easier in time. I sat at lunch with staff from a district with SIXTY THOUSAND ADA (average daily attendance) which makes my minute 2350 seem non-existent. I can't even calculate their budget - I tried and my phone calculator did the 'to the eighth power' thing - it's a huge number. Here I am wishing/thinking I want to add a budget analyst type position - and they have dozens of analysts. And accountants. And I have me, an assistant and one payroll clerk. And one TBD position that I haven't decided what to fill with yet. Anyway, it was a great workshop and I have a really REALLY long list of things to do on top of the year-end closing to do list they provided. Wrote notes on note paper the entire time - who to ask what, things to look into. It got my brain power going and helped me reinforce to myself that I do love this kind of 'stuff'.
There was a steady stream of school buses heading south on I-5 - undoubtedly headed to points south for various 'senior/8th grade' ditch days. H.'s class went to Great America yesterday - they had a ball. He returned home sunburned, exhausted and decked out in a hat airbrushed with a beach scene and his name. And his wallet $60 lighter from the hat and food he bought - all with his own money. He had a great day. He graduates tomorrow evening and then we'll have TWO high school students in our midst. Yikes. We will share the celebration with the parents of C. and K. previously mentioned - the same family we celebrated Confirmation with a couple weeks ago. We'll have dinner there, head to the ceremony and then go back over after to continue the festivities. It will undoubtedly be a fun filled evening and we're looking forward to it.
On the way home from Sacramento, I stopped at Starbucks - I'm reasonably sure I know every Starbucks location between here and there. Got my iced tea and continued south. I know this is going to sound silly - but there's something about finding that familiar green logo that makes me 'happy'. Content. Like a safe place to 'find' wherever you happen to be traveling. Their product is consistent and their staff is friendly and 'finding' one is kind of a 'security blanket' that I appreciate having. I know it's silly - but making that 'stop' when I've been up since the crack of dawn, driven hours to arrive where I need to be, sat through a long, information-packed class in a too-crowded room for 7 hours and am now heading back south towards home is just so reassuring. So happy that I can afford to do that - blessed that I can. It's a luxury that is a relatively reasonably priced 'perk' I give myself in exchange for working hard and long at what I do for a living. I can't wait for retirement when I'll visit any and all Starbucks I find on our travels across the US and abroad. I do love my iced teas.
Ciao for now!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Market
We enjoyed the market this morning. And are very proud of ourselves for passing up the delectable treats enticing us to eat them. Pastries, fresh breads, lumpia, candied nuts of every variety. We did get a small bag of fresh kettle corn - slightly sweet, a teeny bit salty but not too oily. And ate only a small bit of that and brought the rest home for the kids. We bought some fresh peaches, organic salad mix, some shelled fresh peas and two bunches of flowers (the best deal - $3 each or 2/$5).
Sadly, the Medifast oatmeal is just gross. It has the same texture as barium paste and tastes about as appealing. All that's missing is the 'mint' flavor. It's disgusting. J. was able to eat his. I passed. I might try mixing it with Quaker instant to see if that helps at all. I eat oatmeal a lot in the mornings anyway - but will definitely pass on the Medifast version. Too pasty. Will talk to our 'consultant' tomorrow to see if I can trade our oatmeal boxes for more shakes or soups, which are yummy.
J. is heading to Modesto with the boys for some shopping. We got H. a stereo for his room and unfortunately, it doesn't have a jack he can plug is iPod into so we need to exchange it for another one. And B. broke a lug nut on his drum set and the only store that might possibly carry replacement parts without having to special order them is in Modesto. And H. needs new football cleats to break in before practice starts in a couple weeks.
I will work on house stuff a bit. And we will hopefully spend the late afternoon in the pool when they get home. It's a lovely 80 degrees!
I am enjoying my first Saturday morning 'at home' in weeks!
Sadly, the Medifast oatmeal is just gross. It has the same texture as barium paste and tastes about as appealing. All that's missing is the 'mint' flavor. It's disgusting. J. was able to eat his. I passed. I might try mixing it with Quaker instant to see if that helps at all. I eat oatmeal a lot in the mornings anyway - but will definitely pass on the Medifast version. Too pasty. Will talk to our 'consultant' tomorrow to see if I can trade our oatmeal boxes for more shakes or soups, which are yummy.
J. is heading to Modesto with the boys for some shopping. We got H. a stereo for his room and unfortunately, it doesn't have a jack he can plug is iPod into so we need to exchange it for another one. And B. broke a lug nut on his drum set and the only store that might possibly carry replacement parts without having to special order them is in Modesto. And H. needs new football cleats to break in before practice starts in a couple weeks.
I will work on house stuff a bit. And we will hopefully spend the late afternoon in the pool when they get home. It's a lovely 80 degrees!
I am enjoying my first Saturday morning 'at home' in weeks!
Friday, May 25, 2007
Memo
To: Rosie O'Donnell
Fr: Majah
Re: Good Riddance
Farewell and you won't be missed. You pick a fight on national television with Elisabeth, dare to make your sexual orientation a lame excuse for people's perception of your incredibly asinine comments and then call Elisabeth a coward for what? For not 'speaking up' for you? She has to 'defend' you for you to feel 'OK' about the outrageous statements you regularly make? Lady, you have issues. I'm a card carrying liberal who doesn't think we have any business in Iraq but I honestly can't make heads or tails of anything you say. You call it depression. I call it lunacy. You are in need of serious psychological counseling to deal with your anger issues.
And I visited your 'blog' and was amused (though not at all surprised) to find that you post whatever you want and don't allow comments. And Elisabeth's the 'coward'? I think not.
Fr: Majah
Re: Good Riddance
Farewell and you won't be missed. You pick a fight on national television with Elisabeth, dare to make your sexual orientation a lame excuse for people's perception of your incredibly asinine comments and then call Elisabeth a coward for what? For not 'speaking up' for you? She has to 'defend' you for you to feel 'OK' about the outrageous statements you regularly make? Lady, you have issues. I'm a card carrying liberal who doesn't think we have any business in Iraq but I honestly can't make heads or tails of anything you say. You call it depression. I call it lunacy. You are in need of serious psychological counseling to deal with your anger issues.
And I visited your 'blog' and was amused (though not at all surprised) to find that you post whatever you want and don't allow comments. And Elisabeth's the 'coward'? I think not.
Wall
I marvel lately at how little sleep I 'need' - in comparison to my younger years. Lately, I'm aware that I am 'fine' with a fewer number of hours of sleep that in the not too distant past would have thrown me for a loop. I've always been an 8 hour+ person. Going to bed at 9 and getting up at 5 would seem risky to me - and consequently, I would lose sleep fretting about the sleep I wouldn't be getting.
Now, I look at 6 hours as great. 5 is OK and I've even managed on 4 pretty often. Going to bed at 10 or 11 and knowing the alarm is set for 5ish - and I will most likely be awake around 4 and just get up - isn't all that 'rare' for me. The thought of that 'few' hours of sleep no longer causes anxiety - it causes relief. At least I'll get that many hours. It's a total psyche switch that seems to have happened as a result of aging - and acknowledging that not sleeping well is part of life now. So whatever I can get, I'm grateful and have learned to take it and be glad for it instead of freaking out about not having enough.
And all things considered, I feel pretty OK for the most part. But about every 12-15 days I hit a 'wall' and the exhaustion catches up with me. And the past couple nights have been that kind of night. I ask J. the same questions over and over - sometimes within a minute of asking him the first time. My head is just not processing things - and that's the signal that it's time to get some 'extra' sleep. To sleep in weekends as much as I can. Or to head up to bed and be asleep by 8:30. I've hit that wall a couple times this week and am grateful for a 3 day weekend - and for B. helping in the sound booth at church on Sunday at the 11AM service so sleeping in until 8ish is completely fine.
J. and I started Medifast yesterday. So far, so good. Of course, we already 'blew it' this evening with Chinese food for H.'s birthday feast - but we stuck with lots of lean meat and broccoli. Still, I feel stuffed. I wasn't hungry at all during the day - but I did feel the 'urge' to eat. It didn't really seem to be hunger driving that urge - just the 'need' to chew and feel crunch or sweet. So I resisted and made it. The shakes are very filling and the soup I had for lunch was really good. And during my class, I had a caramel chocolate bar that tasted like a Milky Way - it was yummy. And while we 'cheated' at dinner [because dinner is supposed to be lean meat and green veggies and we had a bit of fried rice and some crispy coated prawns and won tons as well], we are still better off for sticking to the Medifast items for two of the 3 meals we ate today. So that's encouraging - not that we intend to cheat daily 'cuz we don't. But it felt good to stick to it as much as we could and then the 'big dinner' didn't seem that bad.
We are going to the Farmer's Market tomorrow. This is the first year the market is on Saturday mornings - it used to be every Wednesday evening and in the days of both of us commuting, we never made it home in time to go. So we will head downtown tomorrow morning and enjoy the market and a cup of coffee outside while B. plays with the jazz group. Stock up on fresh green veggies for salads and to steam. Then home for some 'housework' and yard work. The pool is up to 80 degrees and if it stays warm, we will be swimming this weekend for sure!
Enjoy the 3 day weekend and stay safe, everyone.
Now, I look at 6 hours as great. 5 is OK and I've even managed on 4 pretty often. Going to bed at 10 or 11 and knowing the alarm is set for 5ish - and I will most likely be awake around 4 and just get up - isn't all that 'rare' for me. The thought of that 'few' hours of sleep no longer causes anxiety - it causes relief. At least I'll get that many hours. It's a total psyche switch that seems to have happened as a result of aging - and acknowledging that not sleeping well is part of life now. So whatever I can get, I'm grateful and have learned to take it and be glad for it instead of freaking out about not having enough.
And all things considered, I feel pretty OK for the most part. But about every 12-15 days I hit a 'wall' and the exhaustion catches up with me. And the past couple nights have been that kind of night. I ask J. the same questions over and over - sometimes within a minute of asking him the first time. My head is just not processing things - and that's the signal that it's time to get some 'extra' sleep. To sleep in weekends as much as I can. Or to head up to bed and be asleep by 8:30. I've hit that wall a couple times this week and am grateful for a 3 day weekend - and for B. helping in the sound booth at church on Sunday at the 11AM service so sleeping in until 8ish is completely fine.
J. and I started Medifast yesterday. So far, so good. Of course, we already 'blew it' this evening with Chinese food for H.'s birthday feast - but we stuck with lots of lean meat and broccoli. Still, I feel stuffed. I wasn't hungry at all during the day - but I did feel the 'urge' to eat. It didn't really seem to be hunger driving that urge - just the 'need' to chew and feel crunch or sweet. So I resisted and made it. The shakes are very filling and the soup I had for lunch was really good. And during my class, I had a caramel chocolate bar that tasted like a Milky Way - it was yummy. And while we 'cheated' at dinner [because dinner is supposed to be lean meat and green veggies and we had a bit of fried rice and some crispy coated prawns and won tons as well], we are still better off for sticking to the Medifast items for two of the 3 meals we ate today. So that's encouraging - not that we intend to cheat daily 'cuz we don't. But it felt good to stick to it as much as we could and then the 'big dinner' didn't seem that bad.
We are going to the Farmer's Market tomorrow. This is the first year the market is on Saturday mornings - it used to be every Wednesday evening and in the days of both of us commuting, we never made it home in time to go. So we will head downtown tomorrow morning and enjoy the market and a cup of coffee outside while B. plays with the jazz group. Stock up on fresh green veggies for salads and to steam. Then home for some 'housework' and yard work. The pool is up to 80 degrees and if it stays warm, we will be swimming this weekend for sure!
Enjoy the 3 day weekend and stay safe, everyone.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Laces
H. has a thing for shoes. He wants another pair and has spent many minutes of the past few weeks trying to convince us he needs a new pair. Because apparently shoes are for very 'different' activities - and a pair of perfectly good basketball shoes that set us back $80 during basketball season (which lasted all of 8 weeks) are to be ONLY worn during the activity of basketball. Walking, needing something to protect your feet from heat, cold, moisture and save socks aren't enough reasons to wear those shoes. THEY are to be worn only for basketball. Which he does play with friends after school most days so he does wear them. But he comes in and changes into them and out of them most days. So he is wearing them. Just not as everyday shoes.
So his birthday is day after tomorrow. And I've been at work early (6:30 this morning) and staying late (after 8 the past two nights, though yesterday was dinner with a friend so it was fun but still a long, LONG day) and therefore, have done very little shopping. He has researched various components of a skateboard he wants - and a ready made skateboard is no longer OK - it has to be a specific board, specific bearings, trucks, wheels, etc. I made it home today just after 4 (a full day of back to back meetings which resulted in me not eating anything since 8 AM this morning nor having any liquids all day either left me exhausted and with a raging headache so I gave myself a 'break' and left after only a 10 hour day today) and took H. to our local board shop - aptly named The Board Authority. The clerk there confirmed that all the components H. had selected will work together so we will order the components tonight and the shop will put the board together for us when everything gets here.
While we were there, H. saw a pair of board shoes he wanted - and a new Famous shirt - so for his surprise (which now isn't), I treated him to the pair of shoes and the shirt. The board won't be here for a few days and then the shop will have to put it together - so he won't have much to 'open' on his big day. So a few treats for his special day - and I still have to get to Target tomorrow to get him a PS3 game he also asked for.
The shoes came out of the box not laced - and it took me two tries to get them 'right'. Seems there is a technique to lacing board shoes - the laces have to go 'over' the top of opening and then through - not coming 'up' through and then back and forth - they have to be 'over' the edge of the 'eye' section. AND THEN, he tucks the 'tie' underneath the tongue of the shoe - so the 'tie' part doesn't show on the top of the shoe - it's tucked inside. It looks like it would hurt the top of his foot but he insists it's fine. It was a time consuming process and I was pretty patient. I didn't want him to end up buying shoes he won't wear - and he was so excited that they also came with a pair of bright red laces. I can't believe he's going to use them - but he says he will. His tastes are so mercurial.
His graduation from 8th grade is a week from his birthday. He wants a stereo for his room and that will be his grad gift. I will hope to make it to Target over the long weekend - if not, I'll resort to giving him graduation cash and he can get the stereo next weekend.
He's growing up. He's a sweet, loving, good-hearted kid who's popular with the ladies and also with most adults. He's well mannered, helpful and a kind soul. And funny and too cute for his own good. He has me wrapped around his little finger - he always has and probably always will. He has a 'look' he gives me and it still melts me, even though it's now coming from a youth who towers over me. I love him with all my heart - a heart that bursts with pride when I see him. He is an amazing young man and I'm so, so proud of him. And I can't believe my baby is going to be 14.
Tempest fuget.
So his birthday is day after tomorrow. And I've been at work early (6:30 this morning) and staying late (after 8 the past two nights, though yesterday was dinner with a friend so it was fun but still a long, LONG day) and therefore, have done very little shopping. He has researched various components of a skateboard he wants - and a ready made skateboard is no longer OK - it has to be a specific board, specific bearings, trucks, wheels, etc. I made it home today just after 4 (a full day of back to back meetings which resulted in me not eating anything since 8 AM this morning nor having any liquids all day either left me exhausted and with a raging headache so I gave myself a 'break' and left after only a 10 hour day today) and took H. to our local board shop - aptly named The Board Authority. The clerk there confirmed that all the components H. had selected will work together so we will order the components tonight and the shop will put the board together for us when everything gets here.
While we were there, H. saw a pair of board shoes he wanted - and a new Famous shirt - so for his surprise (which now isn't), I treated him to the pair of shoes and the shirt. The board won't be here for a few days and then the shop will have to put it together - so he won't have much to 'open' on his big day. So a few treats for his special day - and I still have to get to Target tomorrow to get him a PS3 game he also asked for.
The shoes came out of the box not laced - and it took me two tries to get them 'right'. Seems there is a technique to lacing board shoes - the laces have to go 'over' the top of opening and then through - not coming 'up' through and then back and forth - they have to be 'over' the edge of the 'eye' section. AND THEN, he tucks the 'tie' underneath the tongue of the shoe - so the 'tie' part doesn't show on the top of the shoe - it's tucked inside. It looks like it would hurt the top of his foot but he insists it's fine. It was a time consuming process and I was pretty patient. I didn't want him to end up buying shoes he won't wear - and he was so excited that they also came with a pair of bright red laces. I can't believe he's going to use them - but he says he will. His tastes are so mercurial.
His graduation from 8th grade is a week from his birthday. He wants a stereo for his room and that will be his grad gift. I will hope to make it to Target over the long weekend - if not, I'll resort to giving him graduation cash and he can get the stereo next weekend.
He's growing up. He's a sweet, loving, good-hearted kid who's popular with the ladies and also with most adults. He's well mannered, helpful and a kind soul. And funny and too cute for his own good. He has me wrapped around his little finger - he always has and probably always will. He has a 'look' he gives me and it still melts me, even though it's now coming from a youth who towers over me. I love him with all my heart - a heart that bursts with pride when I see him. He is an amazing young man and I'm so, so proud of him. And I can't believe my baby is going to be 14.
Tempest fuget.
Won't
He will not go quietly. He knows who he is. So does Bug.
It's flattering, and heartfelt, and sweet. But I can't keep pending my life trying to decide. I have decided. I'M THE DECIDER. You'd think a Republican would get that.
And I love him for it. Which only makes it harder.
I will treat him to lunch and let him have his say. But I have decided. Just so we're all clear. Sort of. Pretty much. Well, yes, I have - really.
It's flattering, and heartfelt, and sweet. But I can't keep pending my life trying to decide. I have decided. I'M THE DECIDER. You'd think a Republican would get that.
And I love him for it. Which only makes it harder.
I will treat him to lunch and let him have his say. But I have decided. Just so we're all clear. Sort of. Pretty much. Well, yes, I have - really.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Confirmed
So H. is now also a member of St. Paul's Lutheran Church. He made an appropriate slightly 'ucky' face when he tasted the wine at his First Communion. It was a blessed day. J. played bass and had a 'solo' - I was so proud. We had a very nice breakfast at the church for the conifirmands and their families. Then into the church. After the services, we partied at the D. family's house with lots of friends - most of whom we know since we spent New Years Eve with them and have interactions frequently 'cuz of the kids. H. and their son K. will graduate 8th grade in a couple weeks and we'll be partying there again, no doubt. It's lots of fun and I always marvel at how gracious and talented our hostess is. She always makes it all look so easy - and she never seems stressed or nervous. I never feel that 'comfortable' when I have a house full of people. But she makes it look so easy.
J. and I also took a big step toward our health - we signed on for Medifast. It's one of the diets J.'s doctor recommended and so we've submitted our first order. We know it will be hard but we're determined and doing it together will help. I need a jump start to losing some weight - something that Weight Watchers doesn't give. Too much figuring out what to eat, how many points, etc. I just need to have the food in front of me and know how many to eat and when. Medifast fits that to a tee. One of the friends we see at church and saw today at the party has lost 30 pounds and she looks fantastic. So we're signed up.
The kids each received confirmation 'cash' from us - B.'s is a bit 'late' since he went through the 'confirmation' process in the adult weekend retreats. They thanked us profusely for the money and then promptly told us what they are spending it on - which we're not happy about, but it is their money. B. wants (yet another) pair of sunglasses. H. wants to buy a pair of black sneakers. Which he already has. A pair that he 'had to have' for basketball that just sits. He doesn't wear them since basketball is over. So he will spend his gift on shoes. I don't get it. It disturbs me greatly to hear them planning to spend money on things that have no 'need' in their requirement. They're going to just 'blow it'. Irritates me. But the money was a gift and it is theirs, so I will express my displeasure and let them do what they want with it.
I am going to hit my 'work' stack shortly. I am so far behind. Scares me. Must get caught up - only since I'm not completely clear what all it is that needs to be done, it's a bit challenging. But I'll figure it out. Or die trying.
Happy Sunday. My son's are 'connected' to their faith in a way I never was as a teen and I'm strangely proud of that. And happy for them. And feeling more blessed than ever.
J. and I also took a big step toward our health - we signed on for Medifast. It's one of the diets J.'s doctor recommended and so we've submitted our first order. We know it will be hard but we're determined and doing it together will help. I need a jump start to losing some weight - something that Weight Watchers doesn't give. Too much figuring out what to eat, how many points, etc. I just need to have the food in front of me and know how many to eat and when. Medifast fits that to a tee. One of the friends we see at church and saw today at the party has lost 30 pounds and she looks fantastic. So we're signed up.
The kids each received confirmation 'cash' from us - B.'s is a bit 'late' since he went through the 'confirmation' process in the adult weekend retreats. They thanked us profusely for the money and then promptly told us what they are spending it on - which we're not happy about, but it is their money. B. wants (yet another) pair of sunglasses. H. wants to buy a pair of black sneakers. Which he already has. A pair that he 'had to have' for basketball that just sits. He doesn't wear them since basketball is over. So he will spend his gift on shoes. I don't get it. It disturbs me greatly to hear them planning to spend money on things that have no 'need' in their requirement. They're going to just 'blow it'. Irritates me. But the money was a gift and it is theirs, so I will express my displeasure and let them do what they want with it.
I am going to hit my 'work' stack shortly. I am so far behind. Scares me. Must get caught up - only since I'm not completely clear what all it is that needs to be done, it's a bit challenging. But I'll figure it out. Or die trying.
Happy Sunday. My son's are 'connected' to their faith in a way I never was as a teen and I'm strangely proud of that. And happy for them. And feeling more blessed than ever.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Removed
I just removed a post on the advice of my 'monitor'. AKA J. Lest I end up saying too much and getting dooced.
Bug already read it and it was her for whom it was written anyway. So mission accomplished. She knows the details. And the status.
More later.
Bug already read it and it was her for whom it was written anyway. So mission accomplished. She knows the details. And the status.
More later.
Bug
"Bug" is the nickname for my friend N. Her soon to be mother-in-law started calling her that when she (N.) worked for her and used to 'bug' her all the time with questions, etc. I can relate to that since Bug used to work for me. With me, but technically for me, since I was her boss. Not that she needed one. And she didn't really 'bug' me that much - she did ask a lot of questions, but she's a thinker and she likes to learn and so it didn't bother me. But the name stuck and since I make it a point to never use actual names in this blog, Bug she will be henceforth.
N. is quite possibly one of the most motivated young person I've ever met. She was a stand out college student and was quickly tapped by the President's Office to help with a big data analysis project we had undertaken. I loved her from the start - how focused she is. How dedicated. She works so hard and does so much - she is just a driven young lady.
She is working still at the college and 'filling in' both my old job and doing hers. AND she's in her last semester at St. Mary's college, which she's paying for herself - not just the semester - the whole enchilada. AND she's getting married to the wonderful M., who I don't technically know but I love him anyway 'cuz he loves her and she loves him and they're getting married and having babies someday - and that's all that matters to me. He makes her very happy - he who just graduated from the Citadel - so no slouch is he, either.
Bug reminds me what it's like to be young and enthusiastic. When everything and anything is possible. And what it's like to be in love - and so excited about marriage, family, etc.
I miss her very much. And when we get together, we just pick up where we left off and usually end up laughing our heads off. She makes me laugh so hard, my stomach muscles hurt. I love her and miss her and wish I could see her more.
Because she enjoys my blog so much (thank you!), she has started one of her own. Check it out at www.bugsbuzzings.blogspot.com.
Hugs to you, my sweet friend. I feel the exact same way about reading your blog, now. So keep writing, 'kay?
N. is quite possibly one of the most motivated young person I've ever met. She was a stand out college student and was quickly tapped by the President's Office to help with a big data analysis project we had undertaken. I loved her from the start - how focused she is. How dedicated. She works so hard and does so much - she is just a driven young lady.
She is working still at the college and 'filling in' both my old job and doing hers. AND she's in her last semester at St. Mary's college, which she's paying for herself - not just the semester - the whole enchilada. AND she's getting married to the wonderful M., who I don't technically know but I love him anyway 'cuz he loves her and she loves him and they're getting married and having babies someday - and that's all that matters to me. He makes her very happy - he who just graduated from the Citadel - so no slouch is he, either.
Bug reminds me what it's like to be young and enthusiastic. When everything and anything is possible. And what it's like to be in love - and so excited about marriage, family, etc.
I miss her very much. And when we get together, we just pick up where we left off and usually end up laughing our heads off. She makes me laugh so hard, my stomach muscles hurt. I love her and miss her and wish I could see her more.
Because she enjoys my blog so much (thank you!), she has started one of her own. Check it out at www.bugsbuzzings.blogspot.com.
Hugs to you, my sweet friend. I feel the exact same way about reading your blog, now. So keep writing, 'kay?
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Steps
Baby steps. Teeny tiny baby steps. That's my 'new' fitness routine.
The past few evenings, I've taken the dogs out back and jogged in place. And after I 'warm up' by jogging in place, I jog a bit from the yard to the front gate and back again. Chloe follows me quietly toward the gate and as soon as I make the turn to come back toward the yard, she pauses just a second and then runs full tilt for all she's worth back down the side yard concrete, onto the grass, makes the turn around the tree in the back and heads around again the the yard - still at full speed. We call her torpedo dog - and when she makes the turn to head back towards the yard from the gate, she runs 'in place' for a second or two until her paws catch up with the pavement and traction sets in and she actually starts moving. Like a cartoon. It's so funny. And then she and Dani wrestle in the yard for a bit longer.
I know it's not much. It's not a 'real' work out. But it's something. And I have to start somewhere. It's easy, it's quick, it's amusing (thanks to the dogs) and they smile at me like it's the greatest thing ever. And any movement is better than none. So I'm 'doing it' and hope to be soon jogging around the block. Then around the neighborhood, etc. Step by step. Little by little. It's better than not trying. And as simple as it is, I'm already starting to 'feel' better. It's a slight 'change' but it's there.
Today was a good day at work. Made 'progress' on a huge 'challenge' that has now been removed. So that feels good. AND I received another dose of positive feedback from a different administrator - and that felt really good. She called to say she liked me, liked my style, appreciated the communication and was glad I was there. AND glad that I was making progress on some of my world's challenges. So it was a good day. Still no positive words from my boss - but oh well.
I head up to Yolo county for a CBO class tomorrow. Last time, in March, I drove up the night before - but I didn't sleep much anyway..so I figured I'll sleep here, leave really early (because it should only be about an hour and half drive but any accident in or near Sacramento and it could take twice that) and if I get there in plenty of time, which I probably will, I'll go get a light breakfast somewhere before the class starts. There are a lot of Starbucks between here and Woodland so I'll be OK.
Tomorrow evening is H.'s confirmation banquet. He will be confirmed this Sunday at 11AM and we've been invited to C. and K. (friends of B. & H.) house to celebrate with them after. K. is being confirmed also. It will be a fun day. And, God willing, I will not feel compelled to work this weekend, though I probably should and may end up having to. But I'm going to try not to.
Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. Eeek! Eeek!
The past few evenings, I've taken the dogs out back and jogged in place. And after I 'warm up' by jogging in place, I jog a bit from the yard to the front gate and back again. Chloe follows me quietly toward the gate and as soon as I make the turn to come back toward the yard, she pauses just a second and then runs full tilt for all she's worth back down the side yard concrete, onto the grass, makes the turn around the tree in the back and heads around again the the yard - still at full speed. We call her torpedo dog - and when she makes the turn to head back towards the yard from the gate, she runs 'in place' for a second or two until her paws catch up with the pavement and traction sets in and she actually starts moving. Like a cartoon. It's so funny. And then she and Dani wrestle in the yard for a bit longer.
I know it's not much. It's not a 'real' work out. But it's something. And I have to start somewhere. It's easy, it's quick, it's amusing (thanks to the dogs) and they smile at me like it's the greatest thing ever. And any movement is better than none. So I'm 'doing it' and hope to be soon jogging around the block. Then around the neighborhood, etc. Step by step. Little by little. It's better than not trying. And as simple as it is, I'm already starting to 'feel' better. It's a slight 'change' but it's there.
Today was a good day at work. Made 'progress' on a huge 'challenge' that has now been removed. So that feels good. AND I received another dose of positive feedback from a different administrator - and that felt really good. She called to say she liked me, liked my style, appreciated the communication and was glad I was there. AND glad that I was making progress on some of my world's challenges. So it was a good day. Still no positive words from my boss - but oh well.
I head up to Yolo county for a CBO class tomorrow. Last time, in March, I drove up the night before - but I didn't sleep much anyway..so I figured I'll sleep here, leave really early (because it should only be about an hour and half drive but any accident in or near Sacramento and it could take twice that) and if I get there in plenty of time, which I probably will, I'll go get a light breakfast somewhere before the class starts. There are a lot of Starbucks between here and Woodland so I'll be OK.
Tomorrow evening is H.'s confirmation banquet. He will be confirmed this Sunday at 11AM and we've been invited to C. and K. (friends of B. & H.) house to celebrate with them after. K. is being confirmed also. It will be a fun day. And, God willing, I will not feel compelled to work this weekend, though I probably should and may end up having to. But I'm going to try not to.
Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. Eeek! Eeek!
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Boug
J. has been steadily working on removing a HUGE bougainvillea from the backyard. We lost it during the winter and waited patiently for any sign of it's return. Sadly, it's gone.
Our pool was planned around that plant. It's the only thing in the yard I told the pool designer I would be very sad to see go. I don't really like bougainvillea. It's prickly - hard to prune and care for because of the extensive thorns. And we had tried two other bougs that never took off - until this one. This one was glorious. Huge and flowering all the time. Just incredibly lush and beautiful with it's bright magenta flowers. Just like the boug my mom had on her patio in her town home. Low maintenance, little water and it bloomed constantly and added so much color and 'pop' to the backyard. So I wanted to be sure that plant stayed. The one boug out of several that finally, FINALLY thrived in our yard. As a reminder of my mom and how much she loved that plant. It was one of her favorites - along with nasturtiums, which we also have in our backyard.
It's down to just the trunk now. It's taken J. a series of weekends to carefully prune it back. He has been stuck through thick leather gloves so many times. And now there's just this giant bare 'hole' in our backyard landscape. The trellis is still there but the boug is gone.
We will plant another one. And another and another until one of them takes off. And next winter, when a freeze warning is issued, I'll take a sheet or two out there and cover it up. To try to avoid losing another one.
And it will make me think of my mom everyday - which I do anyway - but I'll have a daily visual reminder of her which I miss. Even though it is a prickly, sticky mess to care for. Sort of like my mom - a lovely, beautiful, fragile, prickly, sticky 'mess' at times - especially in her later years and the months preceding her death. She was a challenge - and loved beyond words. And missed, so much.
Happy Mother's Day. I miss you, Mom. We all do. I wish you could have seen our home before you died - but then again, I always felt like you had a hand in our ending up here. How everything went so perfectly. Found a builder that accepted contingent offers. Sold our condo in 3 days for more than we asked. Sold to a couple who were living with family in Fremont and didn't need us to move before our house was finished - we rented back from them for a couple months - so no apartment in between. All those amazing things that happened just perfectly to make this home a reality. I know you've 'seen' it, Mom. I just wish you could see it with me. You are never far from our thoughts and on this special day, our memories of you, along with J.'s mom are what the day is all about. For the sake of the two teens to whom I am the mom, I try hard to enjoy the day. But it's hard.
Still, it is pretty great having two teens do ANYTHING to make the day special. It was MY DAY - totally. That doesn't happen very often. And we ended up not sticking to the 'plan'. We slept in, skipped church (I know, G. - but we will be there next week since H. is being confirmed), ate out and ran some errands. And I've been working (on work stuff) in the dining room a good chunk of the afternoon and still have more to work on. I did make some progress so I feel 'good'.
Hugs and love to the two moms watching over us. We miss you very much, today and everyday.
Our pool was planned around that plant. It's the only thing in the yard I told the pool designer I would be very sad to see go. I don't really like bougainvillea. It's prickly - hard to prune and care for because of the extensive thorns. And we had tried two other bougs that never took off - until this one. This one was glorious. Huge and flowering all the time. Just incredibly lush and beautiful with it's bright magenta flowers. Just like the boug my mom had on her patio in her town home. Low maintenance, little water and it bloomed constantly and added so much color and 'pop' to the backyard. So I wanted to be sure that plant stayed. The one boug out of several that finally, FINALLY thrived in our yard. As a reminder of my mom and how much she loved that plant. It was one of her favorites - along with nasturtiums, which we also have in our backyard.
It's down to just the trunk now. It's taken J. a series of weekends to carefully prune it back. He has been stuck through thick leather gloves so many times. And now there's just this giant bare 'hole' in our backyard landscape. The trellis is still there but the boug is gone.
We will plant another one. And another and another until one of them takes off. And next winter, when a freeze warning is issued, I'll take a sheet or two out there and cover it up. To try to avoid losing another one.
And it will make me think of my mom everyday - which I do anyway - but I'll have a daily visual reminder of her which I miss. Even though it is a prickly, sticky mess to care for. Sort of like my mom - a lovely, beautiful, fragile, prickly, sticky 'mess' at times - especially in her later years and the months preceding her death. She was a challenge - and loved beyond words. And missed, so much.
Happy Mother's Day. I miss you, Mom. We all do. I wish you could have seen our home before you died - but then again, I always felt like you had a hand in our ending up here. How everything went so perfectly. Found a builder that accepted contingent offers. Sold our condo in 3 days for more than we asked. Sold to a couple who were living with family in Fremont and didn't need us to move before our house was finished - we rented back from them for a couple months - so no apartment in between. All those amazing things that happened just perfectly to make this home a reality. I know you've 'seen' it, Mom. I just wish you could see it with me. You are never far from our thoughts and on this special day, our memories of you, along with J.'s mom are what the day is all about. For the sake of the two teens to whom I am the mom, I try hard to enjoy the day. But it's hard.
Still, it is pretty great having two teens do ANYTHING to make the day special. It was MY DAY - totally. That doesn't happen very often. And we ended up not sticking to the 'plan'. We slept in, skipped church (I know, G. - but we will be there next week since H. is being confirmed), ate out and ran some errands. And I've been working (on work stuff) in the dining room a good chunk of the afternoon and still have more to work on. I did make some progress so I feel 'good'.
Hugs and love to the two moms watching over us. We miss you very much, today and everyday.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Reappeared
I worked today. The second Saturday in a row. I don't like it - but I have a lot to do. I attended a workshop in Fresno one day this past week. Next week, I have a class in Woodland (north of Sacramento) and another class in Stockton. Those classes will eat up close to 40% of my week - and there's still work that would normally fill those days. So I'm a bit 'swamped' at the moment. I packed a bunch of stuff in my 'travel boxes' and brought it home - plan to get to it tomorrow in between the flurry of Mother's Day activities.
And, today, I found the missing bracelet. I emptied out my purse - turned it upside down and emptied it completely to clean it out and to find my flash drive which always gets lost at the bottom of the bag - and there it was. It must have slipped off my wrist at some point when I was reaching into my purse for a wallet or my phone or something. So I have it back. So much for the sign. Or maybe the 'sign' is working - 'cuz I have to admit that the new job is 'feeling' a bit better lately. I've made some friends - a few - and am learning lots and starting to 'enjoy' it a bit more. I'm still taking it one day at a time and just try to get through each day. Certainly working a zillion hours is challenging, but I'm managing.
I really do think that age is on my side - I really do seem to need a lot less sleep. When I was commuting, I frequently could barely drag myself out of bed by 6:30. Now, I'm up and downstairs most days before 5. Even by 4 some mornings. I don't know where this 'change' is coming from, but I kind of like it. I like the time in the mornings to enjoy a latte and check emails, etc. before getting ready. And I like getting to the office really early before there's anyone there. It's quiet and I get so much done.
The kids only have a few weeks of school left. H. will graduate from 8th grade on June 1st. Hard to believe my 'baby' is turning 14 in two weeks. He will start freshman football on June 4th - every night from 6-8. We'll see if he makes the team. I think this is going to be a lot harder than he thinks - but he's motivated and really wants to play. He runs really fast so that's in his favor.
Tomorrow, we are going to brunch at 8am BEFORE church - to hopefully beat some of the crowd. Then church. Then home. I have requested non-chotsky stuff - no knick knacks, etc. I'd love Starbucks card(s) and a quart of Baskin Robbins Bubble Gum ice cream . That's all I want.
Heading to bed now. Getting up early is a lot harder on weekends, for some reason. But I hope to get a nap tomorrow for sure. I'm going to try for that as an afternoon 'treat'.
And, today, I found the missing bracelet. I emptied out my purse - turned it upside down and emptied it completely to clean it out and to find my flash drive which always gets lost at the bottom of the bag - and there it was. It must have slipped off my wrist at some point when I was reaching into my purse for a wallet or my phone or something. So I have it back. So much for the sign. Or maybe the 'sign' is working - 'cuz I have to admit that the new job is 'feeling' a bit better lately. I've made some friends - a few - and am learning lots and starting to 'enjoy' it a bit more. I'm still taking it one day at a time and just try to get through each day. Certainly working a zillion hours is challenging, but I'm managing.
I really do think that age is on my side - I really do seem to need a lot less sleep. When I was commuting, I frequently could barely drag myself out of bed by 6:30. Now, I'm up and downstairs most days before 5. Even by 4 some mornings. I don't know where this 'change' is coming from, but I kind of like it. I like the time in the mornings to enjoy a latte and check emails, etc. before getting ready. And I like getting to the office really early before there's anyone there. It's quiet and I get so much done.
The kids only have a few weeks of school left. H. will graduate from 8th grade on June 1st. Hard to believe my 'baby' is turning 14 in two weeks. He will start freshman football on June 4th - every night from 6-8. We'll see if he makes the team. I think this is going to be a lot harder than he thinks - but he's motivated and really wants to play. He runs really fast so that's in his favor.
Tomorrow, we are going to brunch at 8am BEFORE church - to hopefully beat some of the crowd. Then church. Then home. I have requested non-chotsky stuff - no knick knacks, etc. I'd love Starbucks card(s) and a quart of Baskin Robbins Bubble Gum ice cream . That's all I want.
Heading to bed now. Getting up early is a lot harder on weekends, for some reason. But I hope to get a nap tomorrow for sure. I'm going to try for that as an afternoon 'treat'.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Late
I slept in this morning until NINE THIRTY - which given my early risings lately is like some sort of cosmic shift. I did wake up before 5 but I just went back to sleep. Woke to find J. and the boys already gone - J. taking H. to catechism (which ended up being cancelled today) and B. and his friend C. to the golf course. We played hooky from church today. Apologies, God. Just needed a morning at home. Especially since I worked most of yesterday.
I had to run to the pet store yesterday to attempt to find some food for the pets that hasn't been recalled. The cat's food was the first to be recalled - and we watched and waited cautiously to be sure they were OK and so far, they appear to be fine. Then, the dog food we buy at Costco has been recalled. The postcard arrived in the mail this week. So we had to find something else for them to eat. The Costco dog food 'changed' awhile back - the last case we bought didn't have the same 'texture' as before, which we noticed as we were putting it into their bowls. And they noticed, too, since Dani basically went on a 'food strike' for a couple days and refused to eat it. She had just started eating it again when the recall notice arrived. So we are watching her very carefully because she's had a rough year health wise and is still not 100% back yet. But she seems fine and the new food we purchased yesterday was consumed with gusto. It's like she knew something was wrong with that food.
I have REO Speedwagon on the CD player in the family room. Doors and windows open to let in the fresh Spring air, which is warm today. I am plowing through stacks of stuff on my desk while J. runs errands - Costco, picking up B., and also taking H. and his friend K. (the brother of B's friend C.) to the mall to go to the movies with a bunch of friends. The house is quiet. It is nap time but I am trying to resist. I have lots to do (which I say as I'm spending time blogging - oh well).
B.'s band practiced here yesterday afternoon. They stayed for dinner and we had a Cinco de Mayo themed meal: beef taquitos, Mexican rice and nachos. The kids had a nice time together - they are a really nice group of guys. And all I ask is that when they hit it big, they ensure we have backstage passes to every concert we attend. They are pretty talented though realistic about their chances of hitting it big.
B.'s band award banquet was Friday evening - and he left us at the table and went and sat with his friends. It was amusing - though shocking - to realize that the ONLY kids sitting with their parents were the freshman. B. sat with us last year - but this year, it was straight to the friends table. He wore a tux because immediately following the banquet, he was attending the Choir Ball with his girlfriend, S. Whom I still haven't met. The young lady who will always be remembered as my son's 'first real kiss'. I hope to meet her soon.
That's all the news for now. I have a pile of work (from work) to plow through now, so I'd best get to it. Bye for now.
I had to run to the pet store yesterday to attempt to find some food for the pets that hasn't been recalled. The cat's food was the first to be recalled - and we watched and waited cautiously to be sure they were OK and so far, they appear to be fine. Then, the dog food we buy at Costco has been recalled. The postcard arrived in the mail this week. So we had to find something else for them to eat. The Costco dog food 'changed' awhile back - the last case we bought didn't have the same 'texture' as before, which we noticed as we were putting it into their bowls. And they noticed, too, since Dani basically went on a 'food strike' for a couple days and refused to eat it. She had just started eating it again when the recall notice arrived. So we are watching her very carefully because she's had a rough year health wise and is still not 100% back yet. But she seems fine and the new food we purchased yesterday was consumed with gusto. It's like she knew something was wrong with that food.
I have REO Speedwagon on the CD player in the family room. Doors and windows open to let in the fresh Spring air, which is warm today. I am plowing through stacks of stuff on my desk while J. runs errands - Costco, picking up B., and also taking H. and his friend K. (the brother of B's friend C.) to the mall to go to the movies with a bunch of friends. The house is quiet. It is nap time but I am trying to resist. I have lots to do (which I say as I'm spending time blogging - oh well).
B.'s band practiced here yesterday afternoon. They stayed for dinner and we had a Cinco de Mayo themed meal: beef taquitos, Mexican rice and nachos. The kids had a nice time together - they are a really nice group of guys. And all I ask is that when they hit it big, they ensure we have backstage passes to every concert we attend. They are pretty talented though realistic about their chances of hitting it big.
B.'s band award banquet was Friday evening - and he left us at the table and went and sat with his friends. It was amusing - though shocking - to realize that the ONLY kids sitting with their parents were the freshman. B. sat with us last year - but this year, it was straight to the friends table. He wore a tux because immediately following the banquet, he was attending the Choir Ball with his girlfriend, S. Whom I still haven't met. The young lady who will always be remembered as my son's 'first real kiss'. I hope to meet her soon.
That's all the news for now. I have a pile of work (from work) to plow through now, so I'd best get to it. Bye for now.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Assistant
My new job has a few 'perks' - no commute is a biggie. More money is another. The other 'biggie' is an assistant. Her initial is also "K" and there are so many "K"s referred to in this blog that to simplify things, I'm going to call her KD.
KD is wonderful. She is way overqualified for her current job - she was in HR at the director level in her previous life. She found this job to be close to her kids. She has 3 boys. Her husband is in the military and has been in Iraq twice in the past few years. He's been gone for over a year at a time. I don't know how she does it since I fall apart when J. is gone for more than a night or two.
KD is very organized. VERY organized. Her desk is a testament to her ability to file things immediately, categorize things effortlessly and put things away where they belong immediately after she's finished using them.
I am a stacker. I have always been a stacker. I have stacks of 'stuff' on my desk. I have never not stacked things - and while it has often been a source of wisecracks and good natured kidding from various coworkers and friends throughout my 25+ years in management, there really isn't anyone who can 'argue' that I don't get stuff done. 'Cuz I do. Things move forward. I know where stuff is. I remember which stack, when I last had something, etc.
Stacking makes KD very uncomfortable. She practically breaks out in hives at the sight of my desk. And so, for her, and for me 'cuz I've long needed to be 'more organized', I am trying to learn to file. To put things away/file them when I'm done - even if the 'I'm done' is only done for the day, or for a couple days until someone does the 'next thing' for me.
The problem is: when I'm looking for something, my first instinct is to look through one of my stacks. I created some 'working files' in my desk and attempted to file some things. But then, when one of those things require action, I had absolutely NO recollection of having set up a file and putting the file in the drawer. Looking for a FILE is not something I think of. Looking at my desk through a stack of papers IS what I think of. So that's what I did. For quite a few minutes. Until I gave up.
I'm a visual person. I can 'see' where I put things in relation to other things. Just this morning, one of my co-workers came in and asked me for a document. I reached over, lifted up a stack, shuffled for a moment and pulled out what she was looking for. She was impressed and a bit surprised - that I knew what it was she was asking about and even more so: that I knew right where it was. If I file something I'm working on when I'm not working on it, then 'out of sight, out of mind' kicks in. And I'll forget all about it.
The challenge is: it's hard for my assistant to assist me when she's not sure where to 'put' stuff. Nor where to find things that she might need to locate. That's actually been one of the toughest parts of the new job - figuring out how to use an assistant. I've never had one. Ever. I don't automatically think to give things to someone else to do - nor to think of things she could do which would free me up to do other stuff. I still go to the copy machine, the fax machine. Type my own memos. She's great at drafting memos and letters - but I don't even think to ask her until I've already done it. It's just not what I'm used to.
I'm working on attempting to file a bit so KD's hives will improve. And she's working on accepting that some people just prefer to keep their stuff 'out' versus in a drawer. That's the difference. Placement of papers. I understand appearances are important - but I've 'appeared' disorganized for years - and yet, I've done pretty well. Pretty successful. Moved up in every organization I've ever worked in. So I must be doing something right. And I'm learning to ask for help - which is essentially what her job is. Helping me is her job. Asking for that isn't a 'favor'. It's what she's paid to do. I have to get used to that.
KD is wonderful. She is way overqualified for her current job - she was in HR at the director level in her previous life. She found this job to be close to her kids. She has 3 boys. Her husband is in the military and has been in Iraq twice in the past few years. He's been gone for over a year at a time. I don't know how she does it since I fall apart when J. is gone for more than a night or two.
KD is very organized. VERY organized. Her desk is a testament to her ability to file things immediately, categorize things effortlessly and put things away where they belong immediately after she's finished using them.
I am a stacker. I have always been a stacker. I have stacks of 'stuff' on my desk. I have never not stacked things - and while it has often been a source of wisecracks and good natured kidding from various coworkers and friends throughout my 25+ years in management, there really isn't anyone who can 'argue' that I don't get stuff done. 'Cuz I do. Things move forward. I know where stuff is. I remember which stack, when I last had something, etc.
Stacking makes KD very uncomfortable. She practically breaks out in hives at the sight of my desk. And so, for her, and for me 'cuz I've long needed to be 'more organized', I am trying to learn to file. To put things away/file them when I'm done - even if the 'I'm done' is only done for the day, or for a couple days until someone does the 'next thing' for me.
The problem is: when I'm looking for something, my first instinct is to look through one of my stacks. I created some 'working files' in my desk and attempted to file some things. But then, when one of those things require action, I had absolutely NO recollection of having set up a file and putting the file in the drawer. Looking for a FILE is not something I think of. Looking at my desk through a stack of papers IS what I think of. So that's what I did. For quite a few minutes. Until I gave up.
I'm a visual person. I can 'see' where I put things in relation to other things. Just this morning, one of my co-workers came in and asked me for a document. I reached over, lifted up a stack, shuffled for a moment and pulled out what she was looking for. She was impressed and a bit surprised - that I knew what it was she was asking about and even more so: that I knew right where it was. If I file something I'm working on when I'm not working on it, then 'out of sight, out of mind' kicks in. And I'll forget all about it.
The challenge is: it's hard for my assistant to assist me when she's not sure where to 'put' stuff. Nor where to find things that she might need to locate. That's actually been one of the toughest parts of the new job - figuring out how to use an assistant. I've never had one. Ever. I don't automatically think to give things to someone else to do - nor to think of things she could do which would free me up to do other stuff. I still go to the copy machine, the fax machine. Type my own memos. She's great at drafting memos and letters - but I don't even think to ask her until I've already done it. It's just not what I'm used to.
I'm working on attempting to file a bit so KD's hives will improve. And she's working on accepting that some people just prefer to keep their stuff 'out' versus in a drawer. That's the difference. Placement of papers. I understand appearances are important - but I've 'appeared' disorganized for years - and yet, I've done pretty well. Pretty successful. Moved up in every organization I've ever worked in. So I must be doing something right. And I'm learning to ask for help - which is essentially what her job is. Helping me is her job. Asking for that isn't a 'favor'. It's what she's paid to do. I have to get used to that.
Altered
This being 'new' is a constant state of highs and lows. High stress days that just compound over and over. I reach a point where I'm sure I will not be able to do this - 'this' being 'the job'. Where I just don't think I want to do this - I reach a 'low'. They usually pass. And I've commented here how the human psyche can go from fragile and guarded to invincible and unstoppable - from the highest of good days to the lowest of bad days - in just a matter of hours. I keep plugging along. Working away at things. Will work tomorrow - it will feel 'good' to get some items 'caught up' and move others forward.
Today, I got my first little bit of 'positive feedback' - no, not from my boss. But from a school administrator who said 'you're doing a really good job and we are glad you're here. You are so approachable and such a good communicator. Thank you for what you do'. I was so appreciative - I needed to hear that. Especially after having visited my 'old' place and being greeted with profuse joy at my reappearance followed by a zillion 'are you coming back?' comments/questions. I made such a difference there and I don't feel like I'm making any difference here.
AND THEN, out of the blue this afternoon, another former coworker at my old job - who works at the district [and the first thing I told her was 'wow, do I have a whole new appreciation for all you 'district people'] - called to say Hi. I had called her quite awhile back and hadn't heard from her. Was just at the point where I was taking it personally - thinking 'wow, I must have really pissed her off somehow' - when she called to apologize for taking so long. She's been busy with auditors, etc. It was so great to talk to her. And I told her that while this job was OK, I missed my old job. My friends. My boss. And I said my new boss is OK - but he's not.....well, he's not so many things my other boss was.
And she said something that just might have altered my entire perspective on this 'new job vs. old job' thing. She said: 'all those things you miss about your old boss are all the things you are to the new place. So model that. BE that. Set that tone and that example for all the people there who haven't had all those things and need them. THAT'S why you're there. That's who you are'.
Thank you, SM for the positive feedback and RB for the perspective shift. I needed both desperately...and thank you, G. for hearing me and providing just what I needed to close a really tough week on a 'higher' note.
Today, I got my first little bit of 'positive feedback' - no, not from my boss. But from a school administrator who said 'you're doing a really good job and we are glad you're here. You are so approachable and such a good communicator. Thank you for what you do'. I was so appreciative - I needed to hear that. Especially after having visited my 'old' place and being greeted with profuse joy at my reappearance followed by a zillion 'are you coming back?' comments/questions. I made such a difference there and I don't feel like I'm making any difference here.
AND THEN, out of the blue this afternoon, another former coworker at my old job - who works at the district [and the first thing I told her was 'wow, do I have a whole new appreciation for all you 'district people'] - called to say Hi. I had called her quite awhile back and hadn't heard from her. Was just at the point where I was taking it personally - thinking 'wow, I must have really pissed her off somehow' - when she called to apologize for taking so long. She's been busy with auditors, etc. It was so great to talk to her. And I told her that while this job was OK, I missed my old job. My friends. My boss. And I said my new boss is OK - but he's not.....well, he's not so many things my other boss was.
And she said something that just might have altered my entire perspective on this 'new job vs. old job' thing. She said: 'all those things you miss about your old boss are all the things you are to the new place. So model that. BE that. Set that tone and that example for all the people there who haven't had all those things and need them. THAT'S why you're there. That's who you are'.
Thank you, SM for the positive feedback and RB for the perspective shift. I needed both desperately...and thank you, G. for hearing me and providing just what I needed to close a really tough week on a 'higher' note.
Flan
It is just after 5 (again). We have to stop meeting like this.
I am headed into my office shortly - an early morning rendezvous with items to prepare for our Board meeting next week. It is Friday and while I am gleeful about that, I will be working tomorrow, too, sadly. And possibly Sunday. Oh well. Have to do what needs to be done and it's piling up a bit at the moment.
I have invented a new breakfast treat that I call Oatmeal Flan. I didn't invent oatmeal, obviously - the Quaker Oats guy did that - but I have a 'new' way of preparing a delicious breakfast and it is my invention. Here it is:
Put two packets of Instant Oatmeal in a food storage container - with a lid. Pour boiling water over the oatmeal until it's just moist. Not too moist. I don't like to drink my oatmeal - so I add just enough water to moisten the oats. Stir a bit to get the water in. Err on the side of too little vs. too much. Once the oats are moist, sprinkle a generous amount of brown sugar on the top of the oatmeal. While it's warm. Put the lid on the container and take it to work with you.
When you're ready to eat, you will open your container and have a firm, custardy like serving of oatmeal with a yummy caramel-like sauce on it. I just eat it like that - I never add milk - and it's like a 'flan' only healthier. Very filling and gets me through early mornings like this when my stomach will be begging for more food by 10AM. I love it and have made it everyday this week.
Gotta run. The dogs are wide awake and agitated. I came downstairs about a half hour ago and they started whining - so I took them out. They peed. And I put them back in their kennel to go back to sleep - krikey, it's still early. But they want nothing to do with that - they want to be up and out. They're whining again. Oh, B. is up and just came downstairs. He left the computer on upstairs ALL NIGHT because he knew he would be needing it this morning. THAT explains the 20% increase in our electric bill. I am making him his morning mocha latte and then going to work.
See you later.
I am headed into my office shortly - an early morning rendezvous with items to prepare for our Board meeting next week. It is Friday and while I am gleeful about that, I will be working tomorrow, too, sadly. And possibly Sunday. Oh well. Have to do what needs to be done and it's piling up a bit at the moment.
I have invented a new breakfast treat that I call Oatmeal Flan. I didn't invent oatmeal, obviously - the Quaker Oats guy did that - but I have a 'new' way of preparing a delicious breakfast and it is my invention. Here it is:
Put two packets of Instant Oatmeal in a food storage container - with a lid. Pour boiling water over the oatmeal until it's just moist. Not too moist. I don't like to drink my oatmeal - so I add just enough water to moisten the oats. Stir a bit to get the water in. Err on the side of too little vs. too much. Once the oats are moist, sprinkle a generous amount of brown sugar on the top of the oatmeal. While it's warm. Put the lid on the container and take it to work with you.
When you're ready to eat, you will open your container and have a firm, custardy like serving of oatmeal with a yummy caramel-like sauce on it. I just eat it like that - I never add milk - and it's like a 'flan' only healthier. Very filling and gets me through early mornings like this when my stomach will be begging for more food by 10AM. I love it and have made it everyday this week.
Gotta run. The dogs are wide awake and agitated. I came downstairs about a half hour ago and they started whining - so I took them out. They peed. And I put them back in their kennel to go back to sleep - krikey, it's still early. But they want nothing to do with that - they want to be up and out. They're whining again. Oh, B. is up and just came downstairs. He left the computer on upstairs ALL NIGHT because he knew he would be needing it this morning. THAT explains the 20% increase in our electric bill. I am making him his morning mocha latte and then going to work.
See you later.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Say
it ain't so?? I can't believe that Gilmore Girls is ending. And in TWO shows they're going to wrap up SEVEN YEARS?? COME ON. Please. That had better be some spectacular ending or I'm going to be really disappointed. I love, LOVE that show and have watched FOREVER. Please, CW Network - do a good job. Make the stories make sense and make the ending believable. And then, ala 7th Heaven, BRING IT BACK. It's too soon. Rory just graduated. Logan's going to propose. How do you wrap those story lines up in TWO SHOWS - one actually, since Logan's proposal is in the 2nd from the last episode. And don't get me started on Luke and Lorelai - how does THAT wrap up in two shows?
I just can't believe it. Really. I was pissed off about Everwood and almost gave up on this network - and NOW THIS?? I can't believe it. GET THE PALLADINO'S BACK and finish it the way it deserves to be finished - give 'em another season. Wrap it up in style. This is too soon, too fast. Just like Everwood, most of America won't realize it's over until it's gone. What's with that?? Two weeks notice that we're done? After all this time? How could you?
Just sayin'.
I just can't believe it. Really. I was pissed off about Everwood and almost gave up on this network - and NOW THIS?? I can't believe it. GET THE PALLADINO'S BACK and finish it the way it deserves to be finished - give 'em another season. Wrap it up in style. This is too soon, too fast. Just like Everwood, most of America won't realize it's over until it's gone. What's with that?? Two weeks notice that we're done? After all this time? How could you?
Just sayin'.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Homesick
I don't write much about my new job. It's a great job. Good people. I like it there. I really do.
The only downside is - I don't love it. And that might be something that just takes time - love does 'grow' over time so perhaps it's just a matter of it's only been a few months. I'm learning and making friends and feeling like a 'part' of the team more and more everyday. And yet, I don't love it.
It probably wouldn't matter - IF I hadn't left a job that I did actually, truly love. Really, REALLY love. With people I love. Really, REALLY love. But it does matter because I did leave that job -
I attended the year-end celebration at the college for those retiring, celebrating their 10th, 20th or 30th anniversaries, etc. Among the retirees this year are the college president and the district chancellor. And my former boss is now the interim-President - a distinction and title he is so perfect for, so deserving of. He is the most amazing leader I've ever known or worked with. He is quite possibly the most amazing leader I will EVER work with. And you don't 'get over' that experience. You really don't.
I've been praying a lot lately - really praying. Asking God to help me know what I should do; where I should be. And tonight, on the way home from the college visit, I realized that I'd lost the bracelet I've worn for a year - a sterling silver bracelet that says 'the idea being to accept fully what you are'. It's a Jeanine Payer. I gave one just like it to my therapist, K., this time last year when I stopped seeing her.
I saw K. again last week. Needed someone to talk to. Needed to think things through.
And now, the bracelet is gone. I've been praying for a sign. Something to show me that God is listening and can give me some guidance on what I should do. And the truth is: I think He did. Because the one thought that runs through my mind daily - and has since I accepted this new job is: this is not who I am. This 'new' job is a fine job. And I will be very good at it someday. But it's not me. It really isn't. Not because it's too much - it's a lot but I can handle it. I'm smart, motivated, driven. But it's not me because I want to be an administrator - but I want that at my 'old' district. I can stay here forever in this 'new' job and be completely fine - and I just might end up doing that. I don't know. And there isn't an 'administrator' job open at my old place and probably won't be. So I if being an administrator is what I want - then here is where I should stay.
The bracelet fell off somewhere today. I doubt I will find it. I hope I can replace it. But it is gone.
I will keep praying and hoping and seeking. And continue to show up everyday and do my best. Learn and grow and get better at it. And take it one day at a time. And someday, I'll know what to do. Where I should be.
Not tonight.
The only downside is - I don't love it. And that might be something that just takes time - love does 'grow' over time so perhaps it's just a matter of it's only been a few months. I'm learning and making friends and feeling like a 'part' of the team more and more everyday. And yet, I don't love it.
It probably wouldn't matter - IF I hadn't left a job that I did actually, truly love. Really, REALLY love. With people I love. Really, REALLY love. But it does matter because I did leave that job -
I attended the year-end celebration at the college for those retiring, celebrating their 10th, 20th or 30th anniversaries, etc. Among the retirees this year are the college president and the district chancellor. And my former boss is now the interim-President - a distinction and title he is so perfect for, so deserving of. He is the most amazing leader I've ever known or worked with. He is quite possibly the most amazing leader I will EVER work with. And you don't 'get over' that experience. You really don't.
I've been praying a lot lately - really praying. Asking God to help me know what I should do; where I should be. And tonight, on the way home from the college visit, I realized that I'd lost the bracelet I've worn for a year - a sterling silver bracelet that says 'the idea being to accept fully what you are'. It's a Jeanine Payer. I gave one just like it to my therapist, K., this time last year when I stopped seeing her.
I saw K. again last week. Needed someone to talk to. Needed to think things through.
And now, the bracelet is gone. I've been praying for a sign. Something to show me that God is listening and can give me some guidance on what I should do. And the truth is: I think He did. Because the one thought that runs through my mind daily - and has since I accepted this new job is: this is not who I am. This 'new' job is a fine job. And I will be very good at it someday. But it's not me. It really isn't. Not because it's too much - it's a lot but I can handle it. I'm smart, motivated, driven. But it's not me because I want to be an administrator - but I want that at my 'old' district. I can stay here forever in this 'new' job and be completely fine - and I just might end up doing that. I don't know. And there isn't an 'administrator' job open at my old place and probably won't be. So I if being an administrator is what I want - then here is where I should stay.
The bracelet fell off somewhere today. I doubt I will find it. I hope I can replace it. But it is gone.
I will keep praying and hoping and seeking. And continue to show up everyday and do my best. Learn and grow and get better at it. And take it one day at a time. And someday, I'll know what to do. Where I should be.
Not tonight.
Routines
Up early again this morning - it's now just after 5 and I've already been up for an hour. The garbage trucks have just barreled through our neighborhood. The yard waste trucks won't be far behind.
I am starting to enjoy these quiet morning moments to myself. I make a latte, power up my laptop. Check my emails. Download our bank info into our MS Money program. Make sure we're still solvent. Make sure our balances online match what my file says. Log onto to our bank and make sure our money is still where it should be and that no odd transactions have hit our accounts.
I try to be very quiet when I'm up this early so I don't wake up the dogs. When/if they hear me, Dani will start barking like she's going to attack any moment - so I have to be careful and shush her quickly or she'll wake up the entire house. That would be bad - the men in my life don't like getting up this early unless it's to go snowboarding.
The other part of my morning routine is checking on my villagers. Yes, you read that right. I play a computer game called Virtual Villagers - and currently have a village in the VV2 game. The object of the game - once you keep your initial villagers alive, solve 16 puzzles and teach them skills they need to survive long term - is to keep your village thriving. It's a fun game and my tending to my virtual village is a nice way to start the day. There's always something to teach them or something to work on. The fire went out - have to build a new fire. There's a bunch of young villagers who are 'untrained'. Have to teach them to fish or farm. Young villagers play tag, listen to stories, go to school, etc. So every morning, I check on the status and keep the village going.
Sadly, my first VV game (VV1 version) lost all of it's tribe members. I didn't check on them enough and they died out. I feel sort of bad about that - I had 'played' that particular game - with that particular village - for a long time and it was sad to realize they are 'done'. But I have my new village to tend to and keep going and that's a challenge. Silly, I know - but hey, it's fun for me and everyone needs a bit of fun.
I also check my Insaniquarium virtual fish tank every morning - feed them, sell some to buy different fish, etc. Another silly 'virtual' game that I enjoy.
I'm about to head to the Southwest airlines site to acquire a ticket for my wonderful Aunt M. to come visit us this summer from Boston. I can't wait!! When I was in the throes of teenage angst - my mother doesn't understand me, my sister is making me crazy, etc. - I would head to Oklahoma and visit my aunt. I went pretty much every summer during high school. One summer, my mom said I couldn't go. I said (and even now, I'm shocked because back then, I rarely spoke up about anything and never disagreed with my mom) 'I have a car and a job that provides the money to buy a ticket. Exactly how will you stop me from getting into my car and driving to the airport? I'm going'. And I went. She was not pleased - but I didn't care. My aunt's home was my refuge - it's where I thought through and worked out a lot of 'teenage' stuff. It was the perfect place to be and those memories are still in my mind like it was yesterday. I loved going there. She was (and still is) one of the coolest people I know. Reminds me of something H. says about me now and then: 'you're young, you're hip, you're fresh'. That's exactly how I feel about M.. (and when H. says that to me [usually in response to me making a comment about how I'm aging, or something], it's just such a great feeling. I think he really thinks that - at least a bit - though I know I'm his mom and by definition, I grieve him frequently - but I do think he likes me....and that feels good. And he knows when he says that to me, I love it - and a huge smile appears on my face and the day seems instantly brighter. And that's the same effect my Aunt M. has on me. Always has and always will. The ticket is a gift to her for her birthday (in a few days) - and a gift to me for my birthday (in a month). Can't think of any better gift than a family visit!!
The last time I saw her was at my Great Uncle Milt's memorial service - and we've made a promise to get together for something other than someone dying. And we're doing our best to stick to that plan. I can't wait to see her.
Have a terrific day!
I am starting to enjoy these quiet morning moments to myself. I make a latte, power up my laptop. Check my emails. Download our bank info into our MS Money program. Make sure we're still solvent. Make sure our balances online match what my file says. Log onto to our bank and make sure our money is still where it should be and that no odd transactions have hit our accounts.
I try to be very quiet when I'm up this early so I don't wake up the dogs. When/if they hear me, Dani will start barking like she's going to attack any moment - so I have to be careful and shush her quickly or she'll wake up the entire house. That would be bad - the men in my life don't like getting up this early unless it's to go snowboarding.
The other part of my morning routine is checking on my villagers. Yes, you read that right. I play a computer game called Virtual Villagers - and currently have a village in the VV2 game. The object of the game - once you keep your initial villagers alive, solve 16 puzzles and teach them skills they need to survive long term - is to keep your village thriving. It's a fun game and my tending to my virtual village is a nice way to start the day. There's always something to teach them or something to work on. The fire went out - have to build a new fire. There's a bunch of young villagers who are 'untrained'. Have to teach them to fish or farm. Young villagers play tag, listen to stories, go to school, etc. So every morning, I check on the status and keep the village going.
Sadly, my first VV game (VV1 version) lost all of it's tribe members. I didn't check on them enough and they died out. I feel sort of bad about that - I had 'played' that particular game - with that particular village - for a long time and it was sad to realize they are 'done'. But I have my new village to tend to and keep going and that's a challenge. Silly, I know - but hey, it's fun for me and everyone needs a bit of fun.
I also check my Insaniquarium virtual fish tank every morning - feed them, sell some to buy different fish, etc. Another silly 'virtual' game that I enjoy.
I'm about to head to the Southwest airlines site to acquire a ticket for my wonderful Aunt M. to come visit us this summer from Boston. I can't wait!! When I was in the throes of teenage angst - my mother doesn't understand me, my sister is making me crazy, etc. - I would head to Oklahoma and visit my aunt. I went pretty much every summer during high school. One summer, my mom said I couldn't go. I said (and even now, I'm shocked because back then, I rarely spoke up about anything and never disagreed with my mom) 'I have a car and a job that provides the money to buy a ticket. Exactly how will you stop me from getting into my car and driving to the airport? I'm going'. And I went. She was not pleased - but I didn't care. My aunt's home was my refuge - it's where I thought through and worked out a lot of 'teenage' stuff. It was the perfect place to be and those memories are still in my mind like it was yesterday. I loved going there. She was (and still is) one of the coolest people I know. Reminds me of something H. says about me now and then: 'you're young, you're hip, you're fresh'. That's exactly how I feel about M.. (and when H. says that to me [usually in response to me making a comment about how I'm aging, or something], it's just such a great feeling. I think he really thinks that - at least a bit - though I know I'm his mom and by definition, I grieve him frequently - but I do think he likes me....and that feels good. And he knows when he says that to me, I love it - and a huge smile appears on my face and the day seems instantly brighter. And that's the same effect my Aunt M. has on me. Always has and always will. The ticket is a gift to her for her birthday (in a few days) - and a gift to me for my birthday (in a month). Can't think of any better gift than a family visit!!
The last time I saw her was at my Great Uncle Milt's memorial service - and we've made a promise to get together for something other than someone dying. And we're doing our best to stick to that plan. I can't wait to see her.
Have a terrific day!
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Tales of Helpers
Our cleaning lady D. is here today - she wears earbuds and chats on the phone while she works. She is the third cleaning 'person(s)'...
